Lani Wendt Young's Blog, page 15

"Make it Hurt so Good"

 I'm not very good with pain. It hurts. Duh. When I was a teenager I had one ear pierced. I told people that it was because everybody has two ears pierced and I'm just rebellious like that. When the truth was, I only got one ear done because it hurt and I didn't want to deal with pain on both sides of my brain. I reaaalllly wanted to get my nose pierced. I lusted for one of those little diamond studs on the side of one's nostril. (I was a nerd for most of my life, excuse me for wanting to walk on the wild side.) But I never got one because it would hurt. Instead, I got one of those magnetic rings and wore that around. (Epitome of lame-ness, I know.) I reeeally want a tattoo. When we first fell in love the Hot Man went to have my name tattooed on his back. I eagerly said that I would have his name tattooed on mine. He went first. I...umm...went never. Chickened out. Still don't have a single piece of body ink. ( But my name does look beeeyootiful on the Hot Man...)

I pondered upon pain the other day- as I had a troublesome tooth taken care of. (the best time to ponder pain). I realized that my problem is not so much the actual PAIN but the imagining, visualizing, anticipating and dreading of pain. And the imagining of all the things that could possibly go wrong while that pain is being administered. Maybe that's one of the side-effects of being a writer with an overactive imagination? The whole time I'm at the dentist with my face numbed, I'm tensed up, fists clenched, eyes scrinched, WAITING for it to hurt. Psyching myself up not to punch the dentist in the face when that pain hits me..not to scream...not to jerk my face away thus causing the dentist to make a mistake and stab the steel drill into my throat...severing my carotid artery...causing the dental team to panic as my blood spurts all over the room and I stagger to my feet...bleed to death in a few messy minutes...collapse and die in a messy heap on the floor. Imagination Overkill. And then the dentist says, 'That's it. All done.' And I breathe a sigh of relief. Glad that my carotid artery is still intact. I am still alive.

I'm pitiful I know. Which was further emphasized when it was time to take my Bella Beast for her 4 yr old immunizations, I was crying inside on her behalf. Cringing, whimpering silent tears as I smiled and told her to be brave. I was praying for angelic assistance on her behalf.  I was ready to kill nurses who don't handle the needles properly and hurt my child unnecessarily. Especially when they told me they had to give her TWO shots at the exact same moment, one in each arm.

And then my daughter hopped up on the bed. Took off her shirt. Offered the nurses her arms. They shot her with needles. She didnt even flinch. Or cry. Or get mad. And when they were done, she took the candy they offered her, told them thank you and skipped out of there. Huh? And when I asked her, 'Is your arm sore darling?'  She looked at me like I was idiot. 'No. I got big muscles.'

What did I learn?
1. Bella is an embracer of pain.
2. Bella's got big muscles.
3. Bella must not be related to me.

Are you an embracer of pain? Am I the only chicken in the blogging world? Oh, and bonus points for anyone who can identify the song that is the title of this blogpost!
  Ok, there's chickens like me and then there's seriously over the top nutsos...ouch.

A Fiery Announcement

I'm really excited to present...

The Official Book Trailer for  - TELESA:The Covenant Keeper. Produced by Jordan Kwan, featuring models Ezra Taylor, Faith Wulf and Flora Rivers with photography from Jordan and also Tim Rasmussen in Samoa.
                                          Book Trailer for TELESA:The Covenant Keeper

Please feel free to share it with everyone who might be interested in a fiery Young Adult urban fantasy/romance set in contemporary Samoa.

Tattoo Time: Tanoa'i Reed

Back by popular demand, is our Friday Tattoo Feature, where we pay tribute to Polynesian tattoos - and maybe even glance at the Polynesians who rock them. Today, we're studying the tattoos of TANOA'I REED.

Now, before I tell you anymore, I have to digress. A few years ago, Dwayne 'the rock' Johnson came to Samoa for a brief visit. And of course everybody was super excited. Was I? Maybe a teensie bit. It was very cool to see the Rock in person. But one  comment that many people made was 'He wasnt as big as I thought he would be. He's smaller than he looks on TV.' (He's still beautiful though.) Anyway, I just may have found the reason why the Rock looks a bit smaller in real life than on the big screen. Because Tanoai Reed is his stunt double. Can you see the likeness?


Now, back to tattoos...Reed was born in Hawaii of Samoan and Norwegian descent. He's an actor, stuntman and American Gladiator. In 2005 Reed won the Stuntman of the Year Award for his work in the movie 'The Rundown.'  In an interview he gave for 'What it Do' he said of his success, "Our background matters in this industry. Because of the fa'a Samoa and fa'a Polinisia, we are raised [to be] respect[ful]; That is going to get you just as far as the athleticism.  You have to give respect to get respect." (I dont know about you but for me - the values reflected in that comment are almost more attractive than the tattoos.)


Almost more attractive than the beautiful lavalava he's wearing too.
[image error] Reed and his wife Suzanne have been married for 14 years and they have an 11yr old son. He rejects comments that he is a sex symbol. "A sex symbol? No way. My wife still thinks I am sexy even after 14 years of marriage and that is amazing to me!"   (Hmm...I'm trying but I have absolutely NO idea why his wife would think that he is attractive. Nope. None at all.)
I am very intrigued by his tattoos though. (And nothing else.) Like that hint of a tatoo in this picture is rather nice. 
And in this one. Yep there are some mighty fine tattoos in this feature. Thank you to Tanoa'i Reed for providing a showcase of Polynesian tattoos for our Friday Feature!



Thank you for helping my blog host a record 18,000 visits last month. My YA urban fantasy romance  Telesa:The Covenant Keeper   is now avail. from Amazon for US and intl readers. Check out the reviews and see if this is a fire you would like to read more of...
                                               EBook - $2.99      Print Book - $14.95 USD NZ and Aust readers can order from these links: $24.95 NZD  and $22.95 AUD

My Body is a Wonderland.

WARNING - Do not read this if you are:
a. A man. You wouldnt understand any of it.
b. Barbie. Get your plastic fantastic self back to the assembly line.
c. In a 'Embrace our inner beauty and love yourself' mood. I don't want to hear it. Go read Oprah's blog instead. Or hug a tree. Save an endangered snail. Whatever. Just go away.

Every woman hates at least one part of her body. (Unless that woman is Barbie.) I'm betting that even Angelina Jolie hates something about herself. 'Oh Brad, do you think my bones look big in this dress?' Now I know that we are all supposed to be embracers of our beautiful selves. Finding the joy in every squishy, blubbery piece of ourselves just like Oprah says we should. Your body is a temple. And most days, I'm good at singing along to John Mayer, 'My body is a Wonderland.' But other days? Shizz, let's get real.

Today's one of those days. There's a lot about this 'temple' of mine that needs a do-over on the Home Improvement show. But the one thing I hate the most is my stomach. My belly to be precise. Ugh.

Some women carry their weight in their butt whereas one of my nicknames in high school was 'pancake butt'. As in No-Butt-Lani. Other women, carry their weight in their thighs and legs. Thunder-thighs, kalo legs. Not me. (refer to 'Chicken Legs Lani' post) Some women carry all their abundance in their chest. And then complain about it loudly when flat-chested girls can hear them. 'Ohmigosh it's just soooo annoying having a chest like this, nothing fits me and I fall over everytime I have to bend over, don't you just hate it?!'  (Hmm, can't say I've ever had that problem...)

 No, my body peeve is all in my stomach. It used to be amazing - a long time ago, back when I didn't appreciate it. Back when I ate whatever I wanted, did no exercise and danced too much in too many nightclubs. I see pics of my stomach back then and I'm like...DAAAYUUM give that beautiful thing an Academy Award!

But now? It's got no self-control or self-respect whatsoever. It just slobs around the house like someone who's been lazing about in their pyjamas, eating donuts and watching Desperate Housewives reruns...for ten years straight. Ugh. It doesn't help that it's been stretched out of shape several times. Or had the muscle tone all sliced out of it by three c-sections. If I could deport my belly out of the country I would. Or even re-assign some of it. Like, send some of it to the pancake butt! Or re-allocate it to the chest region. Maybe donate some to Angelina even...oh the things I could do with this salubrious stomach... So when I'm in body-hate mode, it's that stomach that I usually pick on.

And then the Hot Man gets on my case. Because according to him, "You should be more grateful for your belly. It's nurtured our babies. Helped to give them life. Worked hard to carry them. Those stretch marks are signs of what your body went through to bring our children to this earth. I love your stomach - and so should you."  (Did I mention that the Hot Man can be very sweet when he wants to be? And it's so nice when your man is blinded by the eyes of love.)

Hmm, so I'm looking at this slob of a stomach and I'm trying to see it the way the Hot Man sees it. I'm narrowing my eyes, looking at it from all different angles in the mirror...but I'm still not seeing it.

Because I'm not blinded by the eyes of love.

I HATE MY STOMACH. It's horrible. So there.

If you're having one of those days, then please feel free to join in and tell us what do YOU hate about your stunning self? (And for the love of donuts, please don't tell us why we should be happy with our bodies and live in Nirvana bliss with our fat. I'm not in the mood.)
When I die, get resurrected and go to heaven - I better have my old stomach back. It looked just like this. Honest. My body was a WONDERLAND dammnit! And if they try to offload some slob stomach on me - then I want my money back.  

Thank you for helping my blog host a record 18,000 visits last month. My YA urban fantasy romance  Telesa:The Covenant Keeper   is now avail. from Amazon for US and intl readers. Check out the reviews and see if this is a fire you would like to read more of...
                                               EBook - $2.99      Print Book - $14.95 USD NZ and Aust readers can order from these links: $24.95 NZD  and $22.95 AUD

Calling all Pacific Writers. Even ones who haven't written anything yet.

Let's Join Forces.

Who am I? I'm confused. I'm a...

Commissioned Author. A year ago, my first book was published. "Pacific Tsunami Galu Afi" was written on commission - which means that I was paid a weekly salary plus all expenses to research and write a book that would then belong to my employer. The Australian Govt Aid Program then paid $120,000 ST (approx $45,000USD)  to publish the book.

Self-Published Author. A few weeks ago, I self-published my first fiction novel "Telesa:The Covenant-Keeper" as an e-book and a print book. I have spent the last eight months writing, editing, proofing and formatting my own manuscript. At the same time, I also put five short fiction pieces on Amazon and Smashwords. I wrote in and around moving to NZ, settling into a new life, being a full-time mother to the Fab5 and managing a home. I worked with copy editors, proof readers, photographers, super-awesome cover models like Ezra Taylor and more, cover artists and graphic designers, to prepare the book for print. Me and the Hot Man invested a sizeable chunk of money (that we didnt have) into getting books printed. In 2 weeks I will go to Samoa for a book launch. AUT University will host an Auckland launch at the end of November. I am now racing to finish the second book in the series and get it published  while keeping up with ongoing promotion of the Telesa series. It's exhausting but exhilarating work. I'm loving it.

Contracted Published Author. Last month, a collection of my short fiction (submitted back in January) won the USP Press Fiction Award. The prize money also came with an offer to publish the collection. Once the news was announced, I was contacted by an award winning (Super Rockstar) NZ publishing company about the collection. They have since offered me a publishing contract as well. I've sold children's stories in the past to  Learning Media Publ, but this will be my first time working with editors on an entire fiction book. I'm sure that I will learn a great deal. I'm excited but nervous.

It occurred to me that I can now reflect with some small measure of (sweat and curse-laden) experience on three completely different paths to being a published writer. And that maybe, there's some other writers busily writing away in a corner that might like to know a bit more about this stuff - so they don't make the same STEWPID mistakes I did. And maybe, in particular, there's some Pacific writers out there who have a hankering for getting their work published the non-traditional way and might want to chat some more about this. SO....every Wednesday I will do a Writer post about something writer-ish. Hopefully we can get enough Pacific writing chat going that I can put together a regular  newsletter (with writing stuff from all of us) that gets emailed out to anyone and everyone who's interested in subscribing. The name of this splendiferous newsletter is: TUSITALA   FIAPOTO. (Yaaay!)

(Oh, and in spite of its name, this writer group thing is serious, I'm not kidding.) To get it started, I would love to hear from you. Pacific writers of all kinds ( even if all you write right now are shopping lists...but you've got stories dying to get out, yes, even you)  - What writing topics do you want to discuss? What are your questions about getting your writing published? Even if I cant answer your question, I bet somebody else on here can share their writing experience and shed some light on it. If you're an anonymous blog stalker and you would like to get the Tusitala Fiapoko newsletter, be brave and speak up now. Or stay in the shadows and email me directly at LaniWendtYoung@hotmail.com. Looking forward to your thoughts on this people...


Thank you for helping my blog host a record 18,000 visits last month. My YA urban fantasy romance  Telesa:The Covenant Keeper   is now avail. from Amazon for US and intl readers. Check out the reviews and see if this is a fire you would like to read more of...
                                               EBook - $2.99      Print Book - $14.95 USD NZ and Aust readers can order from these links: $24.95 NZD  and $22.95 AUD

The Skankiest Ho' outside of Ho'Ville.

Little Daughter was looking at some old photo albums when she came across some pics of me going to Prom. With one boy. And then another pic of me going to Homecoming. With a different boy. And then another pic of me going to another Prom. With another boy. She turned confused eyes on me and asked, "But mum, where's Dad?"

"He's not in the picture. I didn't know him then."
More confusion. "So who are these boys?"
"Umm, other boys that I used to go out with. Other friends."
A look of horror. "You mean Dad wasn't your only boyfriend?! You loved OTHER boys!?" She sounded as shocked as if someone had just told her that Santa ate reindeer for breakfast. As if I had just confessed to being the biggest skankiest ho' outside of Ho-Ville.

I had to explain that yes, mums and dads could have other past boyfriends and girlfriends and then still fall in love and get married to each other. Which prompted more aghast questions, "You mean, Dad had some other girlfriends TOO?!" Oh did he ever... (And just like that the Hot Man joined Santa at the roast reindeer buffet. Boogied his skanky ho self over to join me in Ho'Ville.)

So me and Little Daughter had to chat a bit more about how her dad is the most amazingest man in the world and I love him the bestest, mostest in the whole universe....and none of those other boys could ever hope to compare. (Especially not that jerk in 6th grade who just toyed with my emotions, made me think that he liked me and then told everybody that my legs looked like a chicken's. I should totally write a story with him in it - and then have him die a miserable, slow death. Attack by rabid chickens. Ha.)

Sorry, I was digressing. Back to my original discussion, if you're a regular reader of this blog, then you've probably figured out that I'm very up-front with my children. I don't lie to them about what I've done and when I did it. But I'm also very open with them about what I regret and what I've learned from my past. My honesty with my children has raised some eyebrows with other parents but it's what works for us.

What about you - how much do you tell YOUR children? If you're trying to teach them the importance of living by certain principles which include  - no alcohol, drugs or cigarettes - then how much do you tell them about your past drinking and everything else? If you're raising a family on a strong Christian foundation which includes guidelines like - no dating until they're 16 and no sex before marriage - then how open are you when they want to know what you got up to and how old you were when you got up to it?!  ...Those have been some of our challenges in the honesty arena - what are yours?


Thank you for helping my blog host a record 18,000 visits last month. My YA urban fantasy romance  Telesa:The Covenant Keeper   is now avail. from Amazon for US and intl readers. Check out the reviews and see if this is a fire you would like to read more of...
                                               EBook - $2.99      Print Book - $14.95 USD NZ and Aust readers can order from these links: $24.95 NZD  and $22.95 AUD

Wickedly Funny and Delicious - Simone

[image error] "Life's like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're going to get." Forrest Gump's momma said it and like most one-liners from movies that I love, this quote has stuck with me. It's true you never know what you're going to get and its also true that you're never going to be able to predict what OTHERS are going to get out of the same box of chocolates. This has really been emphasized to me as readers share their feedback on TELESA. I expected that people ( women in particular) would love Daniel. Because he's an impossible fantasy male. I hoped that people would identify with Leila as a young woman in search of her identity and place in the world. But what I didn't count on - was how many people would totally LOVE Leila's best friend, Simon - or should I say, 'Simone'. If you're not familiar with "the third gender" fa'afafine then click on the link for a quick (and not all correct) wikipedia definition. Readers on Twitter have been aflutter about Simone and I invited one particularly enthusiastic tweeter to share his thoughts on Simone. (in more than 140 char...) A huge welcome to co-winner of the award for BESTEST TELESA BOOK READER OF ALL TIME - Sefa Lematua ( aka Twitter's Wedgyna)  What I like about Simone in Telesa : Ok, so Simone had to be my favourite character in the book. I wished we saw more of her, I mean she was there, but not as much as I would've preferred.I'm not gonna lie, she reminds me a lot of myself back when I was in SamCo. The "Daahling" and the social butterfly-ing. I loved how she's so honest and just speaks her mind. Kind of reminds me of Khloe Kardashian in a way. She has a devil-may-care attitude and very blunt honesty.I loved how when Leila started at school, Simone was her first real friend, this I thought was very realistic because girls tend to get along better with fa'afafiges than real girls because malas say it like it is. And their bitchiness is always carefully hidden (although I believe not intentionally) behind lots and lots of make-up comedy. I must say the part where I connected to Simone the most was in the beginning when Leila spazzed at Daniel after the debate, and Simone confronted her and told her to ease up on him. That Daniel has been there for her since they were kids and that Daniel doesn't deserve to be treated like that etc. I felt a connection to Simone in that part of the book because that's exactly how protective I feel of my guy mates. I mean I'm gay, but there are those guy friends that you see as JUST friends and have a genuine sense of affection for. Like, you hurt if they hurt, kind of thing. I had a guy friend like Daniel growing up. Ok he wasn't as hot as Daniel, but the bond was there. And in primary/intermediate school if I saw that he was being given a hard time I'd go out of my way to remedy/force it to stop.     It was so easy to relate to Simone, as I read through Telesa and went through the things she would say, there were so many times when I stopped and thought "OMG! That's exactly what I would say in that situation!". Like when she intervened and took back Leila's origami star thing from Maleko and when Maleko accused her of being jealous of him playing with Leila and not her she shot back with "Whatever. I, unlike Mele, actually have taste".And when she defended Leila and Daniel's handholding to Sinalei and said"And what's a little hand holding? I hold hands with Daniel alllllll the time and with Raymond and with Mark and with Leo and with Sanerivi, with everyone! Wait, strike that - okay, maybe I don't hold hands with Maleko though."The retraction at the end was comedy GOLD, and is something I do all the time as well.  So I think Simone is an appealing character because she's real. Like the supporting actress in a comedy, the "best friend" character who provides comic relief and has the best/funniest lines. And she seems really cool that it makes you want to be her friend. And that's in no way tied back to what I said earlier about how Simone reminds me of myself. I certainly don't think I'm cool. Ok, maybe I do! But not as cool as Simone is...LOL So yes, Simone was very likeable, definitely funny & believable. Did someone you know inspire the character or was it just a projection of what you think an 18 year old boy-girl would be like? Cos if it was a projection, you were right on!! Lol! So that's my take on Simone. I LOVE her!Thank you Sefa. You might be interested to know that since the reader feedback on Simone has been so positive, I'm writing in an expanded diva role for Simone in Book 2: When Water Burns. (The power of the people...u speak and a struggling writer must listen! lol)  FYI Sefa shared his award for Best TELESA reader with Tim Baice, Pres. of the Auck Univ. Samoan Students Association and Tim's take on Simone can be found at  Sydney Fobilicious site.



Thank you for helping my blog host a record 18,000 visits last month. My YA urban fantasy romance  Telesa:The Covenant Keeper   is now avail. from Amazon for US and intl readers. Check out the reviews and see if this is your kind of fiery read!
                                               EBook - $2.99      Print Book - $14.95 USD NZ and Aust readers can order from these links: $24.95 NZD  and $22.95 AUD

MEMZY is a Winner

Thank you to everyone who entered the 'Share your Passion' Giveaway of one free print book of TELESA. The winner is MEMZY. (No links or full name was provided) Congratulations MEMZY, you have 48hrs to email me at LaniWendtYoung@hotmail.com so I can get your mailing details before we award the prize to the alternate winner.


Thank you for helping my blog host a record 18,000 visits last month. My YA urban fantasy romance  Telesa:The Covenant Keeper   is now avail. from Amazon for US and intl readers. Check out the reviews and see if this is your kind of fiery read!
                                               EBook - $2.99      Print Book - $14.95 USD NZ and Aust readers can order from these links: $24.95 NZD  and $22.95 AUD