Lani Wendt Young's Blog, page 13

Seven Essentials for Self-Publishing

             

 If you're a writer thinking about taking that leap into the publishing world, what do you need? (according to my very limited experience!) Warning, this is a long blog post. Only read it if you really want to know what is required to publish your writing...

1. A well-written book. (duh) How do you know it's well-written? Because you've spent a lifetime reading lots of books and you know what you like, what's good and what's crap. Because you've slaved over it. And you've had others slave over it. As in...editors. Beta test readers. Proof readers. People who like to read the kind of stuff you've written. Find what works for you and get your book finished. Rewrite and refine it until its the very best book that you can make it.

2. Belief. In yourself. In your book. I sent Telesa query letters to 15 different agents and publishers. Most said no thank you.  'US readers won't connect with it...NZ readers won't connect with it...blah blah.' One asked for the whole manuscript. I waited for 6 months before they replied 'No.' A book about a teenage couple in Samoa? Spirit mutant type women in Samoa? Who's going to want to read that? You're kidding right?!  It's gut-wrenching when your book gets rejected. So tempting to shelve it and agree, 'yeah, you're right. This sucks.' I could have been patient. Kept trying to submit everywhere. Rewriting to get that perfect query letter. But I couldn't afford to. I had a limited window to write full-time before I had to go get a 'real job'. I already had one published book and several short stories win international awards so I decided to take that leap of faith and publish Telesa myself. Two months later and I am so grateful that I did, because otherwise I would still be searching for an agent to  believe in my book. Instead I've just returned from an exhausting successful book tour in Samoa, I'm looking forward to the Auck Launch which is being hosted by the Auck Univ of Tech and Auck Univ. I've been invited to speak and launch in other cities in NZ and Australia. Telesa will be featured in SPASIFIK magazine's Jan issue.  Every day, somewhere in the world, another person is discovering Telesa and loving it. Today the book that agents said would have no audience - is number three on Amazon's Top Rated Fantasy Romance List and number 9 on Amazon's overall Romance List.  Thank you to all the readers for taking it there.

3. A willingness to learn. A year ago, I had never heard of e-books, visited Amazon.com, seen a Kindle, or contemplated publishing my own stuff. My first book was published in Samoa October 2010 and my sister asked me about things like...'e-rights...websites...e-book version...etc' I turned to Google ( the source of all wisdom) and a whole new world opened up to me. I have spent hundreds of hours researching this phenomenon called 'Self Publishing'. I continue to spend countless hours learning from publishing masters - indie and otherwise. People like Kristen Lamb  Bob Mayer. Amanda Hocking. Joe Konrath  All who are great examples of publishing success and also so generous with sharing their experience. However, I have had to figure some things out thru trial and error because unlike these giants, I am a Samoan woman writing for both a local and global audience. Some stuff that the pro's recommend doesn't work for me and my potential readers. (And thats a whole other blogpost.)

4. A Blog. Not one that you only update when your DVD player breaks down and you've got nothing better to do. A blog that you maintain consistently, that engages your readers, shares your writing 'voice', and slowly but surely builds a following. I've been Sleepless writing for two years now, posting - on average - 3 to 5 times a week. Did I blog because I knew I was going to publish a fiction novel? No. I blogged because I love it. Because I wanted to develop the discipline required to write EVERYDAY. Because I enjoy getting feedback from people, engaging with readers on a daily basis. I also follow many amazing bloggers (and their writing is a huge daily distraction to me, LOL) Through my blog I have made friends who uplift and inspire me, make me laugh and keep me company in the blogoverse. The first people to take a chance on my Telesa book, were my blog readers and my fellow blogging sisters. And they were the first ones to spread the book news.

5. Business Brains. I'm sorry to tell you that a writer who chooses to self-publish must recognize that she is running a business. One where she is the only employee and the employer. One where she creates the product, packages it, markets it, sells it, promotes it, and then makes some more of the product. All at the same time. She must be an accountant, an advertising guru, a speechwriter, a designer, a PR specialist and so much more. If you are not prepared to do this, then forget self-publishing. It is not for you. This is my weakest point and the one where I bet most writers struggle the most. Because in a perfect world, we would just sit in our caves and write wonderful things. And little elves would take our books away and the world would magically read them and shower us with the money we need to keep hanging out in our caves. (Santa, are you reading this?!) I won't  tell you how many times I have called up to make an appointment with a book retailer to discuss Telesa with them...and then chickened out and hung up. And I'm embarassed to tell you what a shocking mess my accounts and publishing files are. It's not easy to market your own book. Get help if you need to, get business savvy - or get out of the publishing game.

6. Money. It is a mistake to assume that self-publishing is 'cheap and easy.' Yes - if you want to release a crappy book with a crappy cover, filled with sloppy errors. A book that only you and your 5 friends will ever buy. But if your goal is to release a book that can stand proudly on a bookstore shelf looking and reading 'just like a real book', then you will need to invest money to make it so. My mother is a powerhouse businesswoman who has run her own successful design store for over 20 years. Her fave saying is, 'You have to spend money to make money.' This is true for books too. I was fortunate to have many amazing people give freely of their time and talents on behalf of the Telesa project - from the cover models to photographers, designers and the book trailer producer, book launch organizers, dancers and performers. Editing and proofing were professionally done at a heavily discounted price. Yes, uploading an e-book on Amazon is free. But we chose to also have books printed and took out a loan on our home to do so. Posters and other promotional materials all cost money. It was important for Telesa to be launched in Samoa, its 'birthplace' - more money was required. Was it worth it? 500 books sold in three days, yes. Have we paid back our initial loan? Yes. Are we making a profit yet? No. But I'm hopeful that I will by the next printing. (Or at least before I die as a penniless author...)

7. Endurance and Hard Work. Just ask my children how many hours a day I spend not looking after them. Because I'm writing, proofing, editing, blogging, updating three different social media sites. Emailing printers, designers, shipping agents, and booksellers. Co-ordinating the book sales/posting/packaging stuff. JKonrath said  "publishing is a marathon, not a sprint". I've been the watergirl to the Hot Man's marathons enough times to know it takes guts and determination to keep going forward - even when there's another hill to stagger up. And other runners passing you. There are days I question why I'm doing this. When I doubt my book. When I wonder if everyone will suddenly 'wake up' and realize that actually Telesa sucks...and they can't wait to throw rotten eggs at the second book. I think about the money I'm not earning at a full-time job. The teaching career I'm not furthering. The non-fiction projects (aka job offers) I have turned down so that I can write this fantasy romance about a girl who bursts into flames when the boy she loves kisses her. And I fight the temptation to quit this rather crazy author dream. If you want to publish your book - be prepared to endure for the long hard slog.
Self-publishing -  it's definitely not for the faint-hearted. But after only two months into it, I can say with complete surety, it's worth it and I am thankful for the opportunity to be living my writing dream. Even if it is kickbutt, exhausting hard work.

Can I kiss you?

                      See? this baby looks happy to hug!


One of the nicest things about children is that you always have someone to get your daily requirement of physical affection from. Children give the bestest hugs and the nicest kisses. Especially when they're fresh out of a shower and NOT dirty/sweaty or sticky with peanut butter and jam. But unfortunately, children have a tendency to grow up. They become 6yr olds who are impatient to run and play and they start wriggling away when you hug them.They become 10yr olds who will only kiss you if none of their friends are looking. And even then, they will grimace as if you are subjecting them to cruel and unusual punishment. They become teenagers who are happy to hug and kiss you...when they want something, when they're actually on a covert mission to weaken your defences, get you to lend them money, go to that movie with their friends, or buy them that new shirt they don't even need. So every time Big Son greets me with enthusiasm and a generous hug, I'm instantly on guard. What do you want?! And he gives me that aggrieved, innocent face, Nothing! Can't I just hug my mum because I love her? Ha. I'm on to you....

Thankfully, my 'baby' is still only four years old, so I have a few more years of abundant hugs and kisses. Or do I? The Bella Beast is getting far too smart and independent because already, she is getting irritated with abundant physical affection. As these examples show...

"Can I hug you Bella, please?"
"But I hugged you the other day."
"Yeah, but can I hug you now?"
Big sigh, rolls her eyes. "Alright." Face lights up, aha moment. "So can I play XBox now?"
I have to pay for my 4yr olds hugs. With Xbox. Just stamp L O S E R on my forehead...

"That's not a hug Mum. That's a squash." Bella reflects and deflects my enthusiastic love.

"Let's play animals. I'll be an elephant. What are you gonna be Mum?"
 I really dont want to play this game. It's 7am and I'm not ready to be anything other than a sloth. "Umm, I want to be an ant. A sleeping ant."
"Ants don't sleep. They work all the time."
"Fine. I'm awake. I'm a kissing ant. Can I kiss you?"
"No. Ants don't kiss."
"Don't they kiss their mums?"
"They don't got any mums. Just a Queen who's the boss. I'm the Queen Ant and I say no kiss."
When did this child get so smart?  Queen Ants? Worker ants? When did she get so bossy?  And since when did Queens not want a kiss?

"I love you mum. You're a big, fat beautiful Princess Mum. Here's a hug for you. But ONLY one. That's enough for you. " Bella masters the art of a double sided compliment. And institutes hug rationing.


"Good night Dad. I love you." Big hug for Dad.
"Hey, what about me?"
"Good night Mum, I love you." Walks away. "I already hugged Dad. Tell him to share it with you."
More hug rationing. My child is putting me on a hug diet. Thank you. Thank you very much.


The future of abundant hugs and kisses for me does not look bright. I can't have anymore children and I do NOT want any grandchildren showing up anytime soon. (do you hear me Big Son and Big Daughter!)  What am I going to do?....Bella, do you want to play XBox?!

"When Water Burns": Telesa Vasa Loloa

That's when the world changed. Irrevocably.
 The banded sleeve that marched up his arm and spread over his shoulder. The fire tattoo with my name imprinted at its heart. All of Daniel's tattoos began to burn, to light up with eerie blue glow.
 "Daniel?" The urgency of my voice had him raising his head to look at me questioningly.
"What is it? What's wrong?"
As he straightened up, I caught my breath, eyes widened as I stared at his body. All his tattoos, all of them were glowing with the same blue fire. Through the rippling water I could clearly see the markings of his pe'a, even the patterns on his lower leg, shimmering with iridescent blue. "Your tattoos, what's happening to them?"
He held up his arms and looked at them in astonishment. "I don't know."
As we both stared wide-eyed, the water around us began to bubble and swirl as if a mini tornado was building up. Fear caught at me as it always did when I was in water, away from my power source. The earth that gave me fearlessness and unbridled power. "Let's get out of here." I slipped off the rock shelf, into the water, stumbling over rocks as I moved towards the poolside, to the safety of the rocks beside it. But he didn't follow me. Instead he stood there in the center of the pool, raising his hands in wonder, regarding his glowing blue markings. I spoke his name sharply, but it was as if he did not hear me. "Daniel!"
The pool was now a raging broiling mass of white as the water churned and in its heart, stood Daniel. He smiled. But not at me. At the water around him. As tendrils of liquid began to rise from the churning surface, snaking its way around his body, along his outstretched arms, silver ribbons of mercury. Ripples of glass. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The pool  heaved with some unseen force and the water lifted like a platform of white surf, lifting Daniel with it so that he stood a few meters off the surface.
I screamed his name and this time he turned his head to look at me. But it wasn't Daniel. Not the Daniel I knew. Not the Daniel I loved. His eyes glowed with the same blue light as that which highlighted his every tattoo and ropes of water were coiled around his arm. The arms that had held me, carried me. He raised the hands that had caressed me, that had traced the outline of my face with love and shook them, as if trying to loosen the ropes. They responded to his motions and from that slight impatient shake of his hands, a whip-like wire of pure water, lashed the surface of the pool, reaching to the earth on which I stood, lashing it with deadly force, ripping up rocks and plants as it scythed along the ground only inches from where I stood. I was too stunned to move and shattered fragments of rock, sprayed against my face. If there was pain , I didn't feel it. I just stood and stared at the one I loved. 
Telesa vasa loloa.

Be Quiet!

The Bella Beast has the loudest voice in our house. The most piercing scream. The strongest protesting wail. And everything must be announced at maximum decibels volume, with double exclamation marks.

"Jade, I want to play XBox!!"

Several minutes later, "Zachie, stand still so I can shoot you!!" then "Mum, he's not letting me kill him. Tell him to get off the Xbox!!"

Even expressions of love are yelled loud enough for the neighbors to hear. "Dada, I love you. You're my bestest favorite!!"

We have all been trying (unsuccesfully) to get this child to speak quieter. Yell softer. Protest gentler. Even love nicer. To no avail. I confess, I've started to yell. So she will get the message and stop yelling? Umm, not very clever of me...Her loudness has been driving us all nuts.

And then today she comes home with a form from the Hearing Test Nurses that visited her preschool. My Bella Beast has failed the hearing test. Her ears only have 30% hearing because they're  jam packed with nastiness and need to be cleaned out. The Hot Man asked me, "Haven't you been cleaning her ears? Didn't you notice anything?!" The he rushed off to take her to the doctor right away.

It's all clear to me now. I can hear the music. No wonder she talks so loud all the time. The poor child can't hear properly. And there I was snapping at her to 'be quiet, stop shouting!'

Everybody chant with me now. Bad mother. Bad mother. Bad mother.

Why Writers Hate Christmas.

                       The White Witch may have been on to something...
So Christmas is coming up and that sets my panic button all aflutter. Christmas is very bad for writers. Very bad. Why?

1. All your children are home on holiday from school. It's highly doubtful that you will be swept away by Daniel's abs or Keahi's breathless declarations of love for Leila...when there are five children squabbling, breathing your air, eating all the food that isn't hidden safely under your bed, pestering you about shopping for presents. When you're a parent, Christmas is all about children. Writing a book? Are you kidding? Hell no. Only bad, evil, uncaring, Narnia White Witch women write books during the Christmas season.

2. You are so much more liable to fall prey to GUILT. You remember how your mum decorated the entire house for Christmas when you were a child and you realize your house is Christmas-cheerless. You hear your mother's voice in your ear, your brain, following you into the writing cave, "Mothers are the makers of magic. Mothers create memories. Mothers make Christmas for years to come." And so you must pack away that laptop and bust out the Martha-Stewart voodoo doll. Channel your inner Mrs Claus. Your inner decorating and baking muse. You must make Xmas cookies with eager children. And let everyone have a stir of the Xmas pudding and make a wish - just like how your mum did. You must deck the house from top to toe in green pine and red sparkly baubles. And rifle through nightclub  rubbish bins like a drunk - in search of empty wine bottles so you can dot them with taper candles, creating magical centerpieces worthy of Vogue magazine.  And you have to do it with a smile. Dammnit. Or else it doesn't count for blessings in heaven. So you do all that and then at 2am you try to answer the call of the book you're working on. Lani, what about meee? And you get frustrated because you're tired and you can't get all the words and images out just the way you want them to. So you're frustrated. And meaner. Badder.  Ready to decree your home, ' Always winter and NEVER Christmas! ' (cue witch laugh here.)

3. There are family and friends crawling out of the woodwork. Because of course that's what Christmas is about. Spending time with loved ones. Joyous happy times. Not sitting in your room with earphones on, blasting the soundtrack from Breaking Dawn. Or mouthing all the curse-words from Eminem. With a blaring sign on the door LEAVE ME ALONE. I'M WRITING. DON'T BOTHER ME UNLESS YOU HAVE DONUTS. No. During the Christmas season, you have to talk to people. Go to family dinners. Host family gatherings. Smile a lot. Visit friends. (yes, I do have friends thank you very much...) Take them cookies. Smile some more. Heaven forbid...sing Christmas carols. Christmas is not for solitary hermit types. No. They get locked up in a cupboard because they're too sour. Too Scrooge McDuck.

The Christmas season may be all about love. The Saviour. Family,. Sharing. Friends. Joy. But for a writer who's trying to finish several books? Who's addicted to her laptop? Who's only half-living in the real world because she's actually existing in that book place where her characters hang out?

Christmas is depressing. Frustrating. And guilt-ridden.

I think I need some Turkish Delight.

Doing it HIS way.

I've been away from the Young and Restless family for 9 days. In that time, they have magically become these strange people who:
*wake up early every morning
*are always on time to school
*get to church EARLY
Not only that, but apparently, while I was away, Big Son cooked dinner every night -without complaining. Bella Beast allowed herself to be bathed by Big Sister every day - without screaming. The Princess made all the girls lunchboxes every morning - without fail. And  Demon Son didn't get into any fights at school. Not one. I returned to a house that was spotless. Even my bed was made. ( Heck, I never make my bed. Ever.)

Why are they magically wonderful people WHEN I'M NOT HERE?

I asked them that as I snapped at their over-sleeping butts to get out of bed, harried their slow-poke selves to fix lunch boxes, yelled at people to clean up their mess, tried to cook dinner and referee the screaming Bella Beast in the shower. Why? Why are you so organized and helpful and super wonderful when your Dad is looking after you?


They looked at each other and shrugged. One took a deep breath before replying. "Because Dad doesn't yell at us like you do. He just tells us to do things and then goes to sleep on the sofa. He doesn't hover over us, telling us how to do everything, breathing down our neck every step of the way. Stuff gets done. Maybe not as fast, or as good as it would when you're here, but it gets done when we do it Dad's way. And everybody's happy."

I looked at these five children who all looked back at me. Hopefully. Hesitantly. And their words resounded in my ears. "When we do things Dad's way...everybody's happy."


I gritted my teeth. Could I really do it? Back away? Let go of some of my control-freakish-ness? Allow the house and the Fab5 to slip into that semi-sloppy zone that 'Dad' doesn't mind living in? The zone where 'everybodys happy'. Could I ( the BOSS of this house) be happy?

I decided to try it. I told them all to make dinner, fold laundry, get showered and call me when it was time to eat. Then I went into my room and read a book.

It was rather torturous. Stilling that voice in my head that muttered, 'you know they're making a huge mess out there...you know they're burning the dinner...and that child is not showering properly...and the laundry will get folded inside out and wrinkly...Just shut up Lani.'

Yes, it was tough. But I did it. Their Dad's way. And you know what? Reading a book in my room in the middle of the day? It's very relaxing.

Revelation - Sometimes, it's true. When we run the house HIS way? Everybody is happy.

But tomorrow? I might have to resort to a bit of MY way again. Because they really did make a mess of the laundry. And those dishes were not done properly. And ohmidirtyhouse-gosh, what if the Queen of England decides to drop by for a spot of tea and sees the cobwebs in the corners of the kitchen? Or worse, what if Theseus from the Immortals movie needs to borrow my washing machine to get blood out of his war uniform and is confronted with the absolute hovel of a laundry room? He might never come back to visit again.
             Kalofa'e  see? Theseus totally needs to borrow my washing machine.

Support Four Debut Authors and Win $125.

You all know that I love to read - anything and everything. So I was thrilled when a group of debut authors approached me about featuring their new books and giving Sleepless in Samoa readers a chance to win $125 USD shopping spree on Amazon. (And if you love buying e-books for anything from .99c to $5 like I do, then you'll know that you can score a heck of a lot of books for $125!) I've already read two of these books featured, really enjoyed them and I look forward to reading the others. Here's the details for the contest. 
Support Four Debut Authors and Snag $125! Four books Two Days Great Prizes With this contest, there is something for everyone and it's SO simple to be in on the winning! On November 28 and/or 29, purchase 1 or all 4 of the debut author's books listed here. Then forward proof of purchase (the receipt Amazon sends you will do just fine) to : motionsrider@yahoo.ca and get up to 4 entries into a draw for a $100 Amazon gift card! It's that easy, no reviews, no hoops to jump through. Just a great .99 book or two. Or three or four. AND, if the person who wins the $100 Amazon Gift Card has purchased all 4 books, an additional $25 Amazon Gift Card will be awarded to the winner!On top of that, 2 random commenter's picked from 2 of our participating blogs will receive $5 gift Amazon gift cards . So, be sure to leave a comment and let us know what you think of the promo, the books, or the authors.Winners will be chosen randomly, one entry per person, per book.All winners will be announced on December 7th on Wringing Out Words (http://shannonmayer.blogspot.com)
"Between" by Cyndi Tefft It just figures that the love of Lindsey Water's life isn't alive at all, but the grim reaper, complete with a dimpled smile, and Scottish accent.

After transporting souls to heaven for the last 300 years, Aiden MacRae has all but given up on finding the one whose love will redeem him and allow him entry through the pearly gates.

Torn between her growing attraction to Aiden and heaven's siren song, Lindsey must learn the hard way whether love really can transcend all boundaries. Link: http://www.amazon.com/Between-ebook/dp/B004XZUMBA/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1322190792&sr=1-1
"Until Dawn: Last Light" by Jennifer Simas When darkness falls, whose side will you be on?

For the past six years, Zoë has been anything but "normal." Struggling to accept her immortality and thrown into a war that's been waging in the shadows for over a thousand years, Zoë must now become who she was meant to be, joining the other Chosen to save what's left of humanity. When the endless night falls over the Earth, will she be able to save the one man who reminds her of what it is to be human, or will it be too late?

Until Dawn: Last Light is a story of death and despair, love and longing, hope and hopelessness, and the ability to survive and keep going even when it seems impossible – when you want nothing more than to give up.Link- http://www.amazon.com/Until-Dawn-Last-Light-ebook/dp/B005QUIXJY/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1322190717&sr=1-1
"The Kayson Cycle" by Jonathan D. Allen A stranger enters a dying town and makes a desperate plea…Kayson Cycle introduces the Kayson Brothers, a pair of faith healers who once wowed crowds in a traveling show but went their separate ways after a night in which a healing took a dark turn. Jeffrey Kayson disappeared into the wilderness and William Kayson, wracked by guilt, moved to the failing mining town of Calico Hills to build a nice, quiet life – one that has lasted for over ten years.

His quiet, predictable life crumbles when a mysterious stranger walks into his tavern bearing a proposal to find his long-lost brother and do the one thing that William has sworn to never do again - have his brother heal a woman. William soon learns that he can't escape his family – or his destiny.

Includes an exclusive sample chapter of The Corridors of the Dead. Please note that this is a Kindle Single, and around 6,000 words in length.Link: http://www.amazon.com/The-Kayson-Cycle-ebook/dp/B0061FDUA0/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1322190892&sr=1-1
"Sundered" by Shannon Mayer A miracle drug, Nevermore, spreads like wildfire throughout the world allowing people to eat what they want, and still lose weight. It is everything the human population has ever dreamed of and Mara is no different. Only a simple twist of fate stops her from taking Nevermore.

As the weeks roll by, it becomes apparent that Nevermore is not the miracle it claimed. A true to life nightmare, the drug steals the very essence that makes up humanity and unleashes a new and deadly species on the world that is bent on filling its belly. Locked down within their small farm home, Mara and her husband Sebastian struggle against increasingly bad odds, fighting off marauders and monsters alike.

But Sebastian carries a dark secret, one that more than threatens to tear them apart, it threatens to destroy them both and the love they have for each other.

Now Mara must make the ultimate choice. Will she live for love, or will she live to survive?Link: http://www.amazon.com/Sundered-Nevermore-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B005KOIVH0/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1315021535&sr=8-3  This book 'Sundered' by Shannon gives an original and fascinating new spin on the whole Zombie concept. Im not a zombie book fan - but i couldnt put this book down. I read it in one sitting - two hours later - I was ready to get the second book in the series. Mayer's writing draws you in and keeps you enthralled.Leave a comment and be in the draw to win the additional Amazon giftcard. Which book catches your imagination? 

Screaming Mothers. And Humming Daughters.

Me and my Beautiful Mum.Dear Big Daughter Sade,

This morning I was helping your grandmother prepare for a night of literature and dessert at her design store cafe - Plantation House. She had invited forty guests and was getting rather stressed about the upcoming event. She'd asked me to drive her to the grocery store early in the  morning to help buy supplies for the marathon of baking she would be doing. Of course I was happy to oblige. I was up at 5am working on a speech, then walked next door and greeted her with a smile at 7.30am.

She was not happy. "I told you I wanted to go to the store EARLY. I told you I have lots of work to do today. If you don't want to be helpful then you shouldn't have said that you would drive me."

Huh? I smiled. Reassured her that yes, of course I wanted to be helpful. After all, the event was an advance Launch nite for my Telesa book. I was at her complete disposal. My every waking breath would have her name on it.

She still wasn't happy. "I can't be waiting around for you while you take your time waking up. I have places to go. Do you know how any things I have to get done today? You have no idea how much work is required for today. And I have a shop to run. And I have workers to supervise. And I have...blah blah blah."

Huh? I smiled. Again. Told her, I'm ready to go. I've been ready to go since 5am. Here I am. The shops don't open until 8am which is why I didn't walk down here sooner.

She wasn't interested in my story. She huffed. Ignored me. Stalked out the door and started walking up the driveway. Muttering to the flowers and trees about rotten, useless, lazy, selfish daughters.

Huh? I didn't want to smile anymore. But. I took a deep breath. My mum had a lot on her plate. I would be patient. Helpful. Kind. Supportive. Be nice Lani. I started humming a little happy song under my breath as I got in the car and chased after her. She got in my car. "I should have gotten a taxi to town. Much more reliable and more helpful than you are."

I smiled. At the trees. The flowers. And I hummed my little happy song under my breath. She snarled. "What are you looking like that for? Why are you humming that song for?! Are you being rude now?!You better stop that."

I had no more smiles left in me. I was ready to explode. Self-combust in a telesa induced flame attack. And then? I had a vision. A flashback. Of you, my daughter, humming a little song the last time I was snappy and stressed and aggravated. The last time I was barking out orders and perhaps being just the teensiest bit unreasonable. Yes, you hummed a little song. Bravely. And you had a faraway smile on your face. And I had mistaken it for defiance. And yelled at you more. 'Don't you try to ignore me when I'm speaking to you girl! And stop humming that song - I know what you're trying to do, you're deliberately trying to annoy me! Stop it.'
I had a rare, precious moment of clarity. I looked at my mother and saw myself. In all her creative fury and impatient energy. And I understood her so much better.

And then I thought of you Sade, and I saw myself -  in your efforts to be more patient and more understanding of a mother who often defies definition because she's furiously creative and energetically impatient. (translation: MEAN.)  Right there and then, I resolved - to come home a nicer, more patient mother to you. And to tell you that I'm sorry. For the times I've been so mean. I'm going to try harder. Be better. I promise.

Right after I first make it through this day with my mother. Without exploding.

With love from,
Your Mum.

P.S The Telesa Advance Launch at Plantation House was a beautiful event. All thanks to my mother. She's 70 yrs old and still can work harder and envision brighter than anyone else I know. What do we learn from this experience? Every adult woman with daughters should return home and spend some time with her mother. So they can remember what it feels like to be a daughter. And learn anew, what their mother endured to raise them.

Why we Write in the First Place. (No, not to get wasted.)

Signing books with Jen Meredith, aka super Hawaii blogger 'Kuaback'.

So I'm back. And I'm a little wasted - no not with alcohol -with an overabundance of adrenaline and by an excessive amount of physical and mental exertion. There was a week of different activities planned for the Samoa launch of TELESA and so my trip home was just a little bit frantic. I only have myself to blame since I'm the one who master-minded the program. As I stayed up till 3am writing a speech for my 9am visit to my old high school and then ran from there to a TV interview and from there to continue delivering last-minute invites to the main launch nite, all in sauna-like 30 degree heat, I asked myself, "This is stupid. Who the hell planned this?!" Umm, me. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I was missing the Hot Man desperately. No, not because he's Hot. But because he's a super planner and organizer, never late to anything (and he could have carried heavy boxes of books and set up furniture without ME having to get my TV clothes all dirty and sweaty.)  This launch week was further confirmation that being an author is hard work. I didnt sit on any beaches. Or scuba dive. Or go dancing at beachside nightclubs. Or sleep in and then dine on tropical breakfasts. What I did enjoy though, was the chance to meet with some of my sister bloggers, work with a great team of planners, see my family's creativity shine ( thank you Mum, Leone, Cam and Dad) and then attend the final event of the week.

 I did a 2hr book signing session at a local bookstore, Samoa Books. I was semi-dreading it because, among other things, I was running late ( as usual), delivering book orders to stores, tired from the week, dehydrated and to make it worse, I hadn't eaten all day. (Me and Hungry make ferocious, evil music together.) The event should have been a nightmare. But it wasnt. The superb team at Samoa Books had thought of everything - ice water, sandwiches, air con, a fan. Not only that, they had the trailer playing on a big screen, wall to wall TELESA posters, and radio ads running all day to let people know about the signing. I sat, I breathed, and then I had the opportunity to meet many people. There were lots of my ex-students, past work colleagues, old friends, childhood neighbors, teachers. I also met complete strangers and we sat and chatted over books. Mothers brought their daughters in to buy a book and have photos taken- and then when the teens went out - the mums furtively bought a book of their own and asked me to sign it, whispering "This one is for me..." I had to laugh - it reminded me of my own semi-shamefulness when I'm standing in a line for almost an hour so I can get in to a new Twilight movie...surrounded by screaming teenagers.

   I particularly enjoyed meeting the students, the teen readers.  I wrote TELESA because I wanted to write the kind of book that I enjoy reading and have it reflect the environment, the life I grew up in. For me, its the  book I would have loved to read when I was a teenager in high school. So meeting with Samoan teen readers and having them comment, "I loved how I could relate to everything in the book...the locations, the drama, the food and the people. I felt a connection with the characters, traditions and even the afakasi thing." (Olisana Mariner, RLSSchool) - was very rewarding. The chance to meet with readers was a reminder for me, not to get lost in the busyness of book promotion, or drown in the stress of being a writer and a parent. Because before we were writers, we were readers who delighted in dancing in the realm of the imagination. And to be able to gift that delight to another, even for a short while as they read and enjoy your book  - is a humbling privilege. Meeting with  readers, young and old, from all walks of life, was a precious reminder for me to keep hold of the joy, the reason why we writers write in the first place.

Because we love it.

Thank you Samoa Telesa readers, I needed that reminder.

Screaming. TELESA on Amazon Top 20 Rated Fantasy Romance List

Im screaming. Jumping up and down. And generally feeling giddy with delight. Telesa:The Covenant Keeper has made it onto a real live LIST on Amazon. Its ranked number FIVE on Amazon's Top Rated Fantasy Romance List. (I cant believe it. I still think its a mistake or something...)I want to memorize the page and engrave it in stone before it gets booted off, LOL. Thank you to all the readers and reviewers for reading it and loving it.
my link text