Josh McDowell's Blog, page 12

A Note from Josh: Healthy Dads

In my last few notes I’ve shared with you the crucial role that fathers play in their kids’ lives.To recap, U.S. youth from fatherless homes often:Drop out of high school.
Become sexually active and face unplanned pregnancies.Experience higher rates of abuse and neglect.
Exhibit behavioral disorders, addictions, and contemplate or attempt suicide.Choose to run away, with many living homeless.
Serve time in juvenile centers, if not also adult prisons.

But having dads at home won’t fully solve this. Our youth need dads who are engaged, loving, and supportive. The bottom line: Kids need healthy dads who aren’t still reacting to life from their own prison of woundedness.

I know this from personal experience, as my dad was the town drunk. I despised him, especially because he physically abused my mom after he drank. I walked into adulthood with plenty of pent up rage.

The reality is that hurting boys become hurting men, until they choose to break this cycle. I gained freedom through counseling and accepting God’s amazing love for me.

➤ Will you do me a favor? 

If you know a guy still stuck in his pain would you share this link to our Resolution Movement? It’s our educational program that couples brain science with biblical truth to help people break the chains of their anger, shame, anxiety, depression, and addictions. With God’s help, it’s never too late to live free.

 

My dad knew this! When he accepted Christ after my near-fatal car accident in college, Dad was completely changed! We enjoyed many good times together before he went to be with Jesus.

Josh D. McDowell

P.S. Have you watched Undaunted, the movie we created about my childhood?

 

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A Note from Josh: Honoring Stay-at-Home Dads

Last week I messaged you about the effects on kids growing up in broken homes. In this message I want to highlight — and encourage! — stay-at-home dads.

These men have assumed this tough role for a number of reasons: some because of job loss or disability, or to reduce the financial strain of child care. Others have made the choice because their employer has allowed them to work from home. As 47% percent of stay-at-home fathers in the U.S. live in poverty, the stay-at-home dads able to generate income are, indeed, blessed.Per reports by the Pew Research Center:Dads are much more involved in child care than they were 50 years ago. In 2016, fathers reported spending an average of eight hours a week on child care (about triple the hours they provided in 1965). They also contributed about 10 hours a week on household chores (compared to four hours in 1965). 
The number of stay-at-home dads rose from 4% in 1989 to 7% in 2016. In 2016, dads made up 17% of all stay-at-home parents, up from 10% in 1989. In 2018, the percentage jumped to over 20%.

Let me ask YOU a personal question: what’s your gut reaction to dads who assume this important role? Do you catch yourself thinking, “I wonder what’s wrong with him that he’s not out working?” 

If you find yourself making that assumption, it could simply be because of societal conditioning. An article by Healthline points out that society hasn’t fully embraced the idea of dads staying home, even suggesting that perhaps these men are “lazy.” Seriously? Being home with kids all day is hard work! So I salute any stay-at-home dad who has assumed this important role and is rocking it!

➤  How might YOU show support to a stay-at-home dad you know? Perhaps by welcoming him into your “mommy” group. Or by scheduling playdates. Or even popping over with a smile and a McDonald’s Happy Meal.

The sky’s the limit on how we can encourage these dads!

Josh D. McDowell

P.S. This Father’s Day (Sunday, June 20), consider gifting a dad with my parenting book, How to Be a Hero to Your Kids. When children receive acceptance, appreciation, affection, availability, accountability, and loving authority, wonderful things can happen!

 

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The Apostle Paul’s Writings: Still Applicable?

The Apostle Paul wrote a good bit of the New Testament, and much of the Christian lifestyle and church governance come from Paul‘s teachings. Should you and I still listen to him? The Bible is, after all, pretty old. 

Has the Bible become so outdated that we’re smarter to follow the standards set by current culture? Or does it still speak, with power and relevance, into modern life?

I wrestle with these questions from time to time, but so far I’ve always returned to the Bible. I’ve found its God-inspired words to hold truth. Its teachings have helped me to build a firm foundation to walk in wholeness. Society can’t do that; its stability is an illusion because of ever-changing standards. Take morality, for example.

“Love,” in every flavor, is now “right,” because society now asserts that a person’s subjective view can’t be labeled as “wrong.” The same goes for sex. Society enthusiastically champions the freedom of personal experimentation and expression. But this “freedom” often results in chains. I personally experienced this with my 11-year addiction to pornography. Despite its promised satisfaction and intimacy, I lived wounded and disconnected, hiding in shame.

On whose authority does Paul speak? Do his teachings help us to live our best life?

Christ Bestowed Apostle Authority 

Before we get to Paul’s authority, let’s define the term “Apostle.” Jesus first used the term to reference the 12 men He commissioned to preach the kingdom of Heaven to the Jews, God’s chosen people (Matthew 10:1-7).

After His resurrection, Jesus then commissioned the Apostles (all but Judas, who hanged himself in remorse after betraying Jesus to be crucified) to spread the gospel to all nations and people (Matthew 28:16-20). These early evangelists were thus distinguished in human history.

The Apostles were recognized as holding God-given authority because Jesus had personally selected and appointed them to share His teachings. 

By definition, an Apostle had to have literally seen and walked with the risen Lord. Paul had not done so, yet Jesus did call him. And so dramatically that Paul instantly stopped persecuting the early Church, forfeiting all else to ardently champion it. His impact on the world would be amazing.

In Acts 26 we read the details of Paul’s vision of how Jesus revealed Himself as Paul travelled the road to Damascus. Of this life-changing encounter (1 Corinthians 15), Paul wrote, “Last of all, as though I had been born at the wrong time, I also saw him.” Paul’s personal commission by Christ (Acts 26:16-18) gave him the authority to speak for God with boldness and tenacity.

Paul reiterated his authority by sharing his commission in Galatians 1 and 2. He further distinguished himself from false apostles by performing miracles in Jesus’ name (1 Corinthians 12:12). And when he brought new teachings to the Jews in Berea (Acts 17:10-12), they examined the Scriptures to see if Paul’s words had support. They found they did. 

The Apostles Confirmed Paul’s Authority

The believers in the early Church sought out and accepted the teachings and miracles of the Apostles because of the authority Christ had clearly given them. Paul and the other Apostles were supernaturally empowered, just as Jesus promised. In John 14:26 and 15:26-27 we read that they were sent a helper (the Holy Spirit) to testify of God and to teach them further. 

The Apostle Peter, upon whom Christ declared He would build His Church, confirmed Paul’s authority when he asserted that Paul’s letters were equal with other Scriptures. In 2 Peter 3:15-16 he wrote, “Bear in mind that our Lord’s patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him. He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction.” 

Paul’s God-given authority withstood the scrutiny of the other Apostles. His conversion was too compelling. 

Ignatius, a Church father from the first century (AD 50-115), further confirmed Paul’s authority. He wrote, “I do not issue orders like an Apostle,” and “nor am I such a disciple as Paul or Peter.” 

Paul’s Teachings Remain Relevant to Us

Neither Paul, nor the other Apostles, spoke or acted on their own power. Jesus knew they would share His teachings in their own personal styles, which makes the Bible so unique. Their authority and His authority were combined, as God intended. We can trust that God knew what He was doing when He commissioned them. 

Some of Paul’s teachings are hard for us to understand, as they were written to address specific issues happening in the various church communities he was shepherding. Some of his writings seem harsh in the view of our modern lens. But Paul’s words remind us of our sin and the grace of Christ’s work on the cross to make us righteous before God. Every person needs to hear and accept these truths, to understand how much they are already loved, accepted, and wanted.

I choose to not sway with the instability of cultural morality, but to live to the set standard of my loving and unchanging God. Paul’s writings are God’s words. So as I read and study them, I strive to live by them. The lifestyle Paul promotes is good.

Without Paul’s teachings, I would still be living in the shame and guilt of my porn addiction. His words — God’s words — speak life and truth into my brokenness, empowering me to find abundant life.NEXT STEPSDo you know God yet? Get started here !How do we know the Bible is reliable? Check out our blog posts on the Bible.Do you need to find freedom from your addictions? Our Resolution Movement can help!An associate communicator with Josh McDowell Ministry, Austin served as Josh’s on-the-road personal assistant for two years. Austin holds a degree in psychology and counseling from Liberty University. He is currently pursuing a Masters in Theology at Talbot Seminary.

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Note from Josh: Benefit of Strong Family Units

Strong family units have been weakening in the U.S. for decades. Fewer Americans are getting married, and more marriages are ending in divorce, leaving many children to grow up without the security of having mom and dad at home.

Research shows that about 45 percent of youth in the U.S. now spend some time without a biological parent by late adolescence.

Among the most disadvantaged socioeconomic groups, even fewer children grow up in intact households. From my own difficult childhood, I know the hurt and rejection these kids carry.Sara McLanahan, a sociologist with Princeton University, notes:

If we were asked to design a system for making sure that children’s basic needs were met, we would probably come up with something quite similar to the two-parent ideal. Such a design, in theory, would not only ensure that children had access to the time and money of two adults, it also would provide a system of checks and balances that promoted quality parenting.

Although having both parents around doesn’t guarantee great parenting, research shows that children raised by married parents do benefit in ways that children without both parents don’t: They enjoy stronger relationships with their parents.
They benefit from better health.They show less aggression.They are less likely to experience physical, emotional or sexual abuse.
They are far less likely to live in poverty.They do better academically.They earn more as adults.

As this Congressional report reminds us, it is within the family home that children are nurtured, socialized, and taught how to function within society. If their home environment fails in these areas, these kids end up suffering through no fault of their own. Together we can fix this problem!

At Josh McDowell Ministry we are committed to telling the world about the love of Jesus. We’re also committed to developing resources that help parents to improve their family relationships and grow their parenting skills. Because we’re all one big family, really. God’s family. Together we rise or fall.

Until the whole world knows the love of Jesus!

Josh D. McDowell

P.S. Can my team and I pray for you — or someone you know? We’d love to do so.

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Note from Josh: The role of “mom” is so challenging.

Let me throw some stats at you.

Did you know that there are about 2 billion mothers in the world? And that in many households these moms are solo-parenting while holding down one or more jobs?

These numbers show the financial burden many single moms in the U.S. are carrying:

86% of single-parent families in the U.S. are led by moms.

40% of single moms in the U.S. hold low-wage jobs lacking paid leave.1 in every 3 single moms spends more than 50% of her income on housing.

What single mom can YOU bless this Mother’s Day (Sunday, May 9)?

Some ways you might do so:

Check to see if she has to work. If so, find a way to bless her. Maybe she needs a babysitter, maybe she needs a ride, or maybe you’d bless her socks off with your gift of a flower bouquet, heartfelt note, and gift card to a nearby grocery or restaurant that she can enjoy with her kids.

If she doesn’t have to work, invite her and her kids to join your family for church and an afternoon BBQ. Offer to pick them up and drive them home!The option I like best: become her friend — and keep on blessing her! Be someone she can truly count on for love, encouragement, and even wisdom (if she asks for your advice).In His Word God repeatedly tells us to actively look for people to bless, even strangers.

YOU could be the answer to a single mom’s prayers!

Let’s love like Jesus!

Josh D. McDowell

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Note from Josh: Gen Z, Sexuality and Gender

I wanted to send you one last message in this series about “Gen Z,” this one specific to sexuality and gender.This is an old stat, but I share it to amplify what our media delivers: A study from 2000 found that teens viewed 143 incidents of sexual behavior on network television during prime time viewing hours each week — with little of it morally affirming. We’ve glorified sex over character, sending the message that sex appeal is a critical factor of their worth. Guess what a common Google search is? “Become Sexually Irresistible.”Society has failed this generation. The “liberation” it promised has led to pain and bondage.

Our youth have been actively influenced by the media, special interest groups, and their schools to believe that their mental health and happiness is super dependent on their gender expression and sexual exploration. Yet our youth are more stressed out than ever.

Studies also show that one in seven teens are actively sexting, sharing sexual content and nude photos via texts, social platforms, secret chat rooms, and live-streaming websites. Many then experience the nightmare of being controlled, bullied, and sexually trafficked through “sextortion.”Society celebrates the use of pornography, asserting that it’s “normal, harmless, and fun.” For many, it’s just the opposite. 64 percent of young people between 13-24 regularly view it, with many becoming addicted. Many admit they’ve lost the ability to interact within real relationships.Those still having sex are among those experiencing high rates of sexually transmitted diseases (STD). The most recent data on infection rates across the U.S. indicates that the upward trend in recent years isn’t slowing down.

TAKE AWAY: Gen Z has been raised in a world that promotes sexual freedom without consequence. The truth is just the opposite.

But we can help guide Gen Z to:

Compare media messaging with their real-life experiences and those of their peers. It’s not all fun and games, is it?

Get clear on the personal safety and control they give up when they sext.Embrace what God says about them, including their worth having nothing to do with their sex appeal or variety of sexual partners.Connect with organizations and churches offering them love, acceptance, and healing. Our Resolution Movement helps youth to break the chains of addiction and shame. These organizations are great resources, too.Society doesn’t care about the welfare of our youth. Let’s point this generation to God, who does!

Josh D. McDowell

P.S. Find more helpful Gen Z information here.

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Sex and Gen Z

“You’ve come a long way, Baby.” This cultural phrase suggests positive forward movement. When we apply it to the increasing sexualization of society, however, do we see positive outcomes?

Has sexual “liberation” made our lives better, healthier, more empowered? In what ways has it impacted our youth, specifically Gen Z?

Want more Gen Z insights? Check out Josh McDowell’s research here.

Sexual Freedom = Happiness?

Gen Z (also known as iGen), are currently between the ages of 6 and 24 years old. These youth have been influenced by society to view sex, sexuality, and now even gender identity, as critical aspects of their personal “happiness.”

There are so many directions we could take in this post, but let’s ask a single question, “Does sexual freedom actually make us happy?”

If sexual exploration and experimentation are so “affirming,” why does Gen Z admit it feels incredibly lonely, lost, depressed, and stressed out? Wait, sex isn’t making life better?

A study from 2000 found that teens viewed 143 incidents of sexual behavior on network television during prime time viewing hours each week — with little of it morally affirming. How, after 20 years of this messaging, might we demonstrate that we have “come a long way”? Perhaps this popular Google search term — “Become Sexually Irresistible” — could be one measure.

If sexual freedom, as society suggests, is the yellow brick road to empowerment and good vibes, shouldn’t we find Gen Z creating their best lives as they curiously explore?

Sexual Freedom = Bondage?

Research statistics confirm that, for many, sexual curiosity and engagement has led to significant pain and bondage:

>> Studies show that one in seven teens are actively sexting, sharing sexual content and photos via texts, social platforms, secret chat rooms, and live-streaming websites. Many then experience the nightmare of being controlled, bullied, and sexually trafficked from “sextortion.” When our teens (and even pre-teens) believe they need to sexualize their bodies, it should “wake” us to the fact that they’re desperately seeking validation where society has placed value. 

>> Society champions the porn industry, asserting that viewing porn is “normal, harmless, and fun.” For many, it’s the start of a spiraling addiction. 64 percent of young people between 13-24 admit they regularly view porn, and many find they can’t stop. Many also admit the addiction makes it impossible for them to interact in real relationships in healthy patterns. Healthy relationships are a necessity for a healthy society.

>> Per the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 20 million new cases of sexually transmitted diseases infect Americans each year, with half of the infected between 15 and 24 years old. In one U.S. survey, 24 percent of teenage girls tested were found to have an STI. Sexual infection rates across the U.S. indicates the upward trend isn’t slowing down. As half of the eight most common sexually transmitted diseases aren’t curable with available drugs, infections are easily shared with each new sexual partner. Will every sexually active person become infected?

Gen Z has been raised in a world that promotes sexual “empowerment.” Many find the promised “liberation” actually comes with chains.

Rethinking Sex 

There are many good reasons that God asks us to live to His standards. Though Gen Z might assert that being asked to curb their sexual exploration and experimentation limits their personal choice and freedom, we can help Gen Z to:

Compare media messaging about sex with how it’s playing out in real life among their peers.

Get clear on the personal safety and control they give up when they sext and participate in sexual activity. This downloadable Sexting Handbook link by The Common Sense Media is a helpful resource.

Embrace what God says about their bodies, including their worth having nothing to do with their sex appeal.

Do you know a young person who could benefit from your loving wisdom and God’s ceaseless love? 

Let’s help to connect these youth with churches and groups that will guide them in building empowering lives they will fully enjoy. Our own Resolution Movement, as well as these organizations, focus on helping youth to break the chains of unhealthy sexual habits, addiction, and shame. Let’s help Gen Z to live in the freedom God wants them to enjoy!

One’s sexuality is an important part of life, for sure. But sex was meant to be sacred. When it’s not, it leads to bondage. There’s no liberation in that.Want more Gen Z insights? Check out Josh McDowell’s research here.

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Note from Josh: Is Social Media Good for Gen Z?

I wanted to tell you more about “Gen Z,” specifically how they’re handling social media. Remember, technology is an indistinguishable part of the Gen Z identity; it is intertwined in their daily lives.  Cut the connection and they feel it: 31 percent admit they feel uncomfortable being away from their phones for 30 minutes. 58 percent feel uncomfortable if they are without their phones for a few hours. 65+ percent admit they experience high levels of stress if their phone is lost, broken, or stops working. Friends, it’s too late to close and lock Pandora’s box, but we can: 

Help Gen Z to understand that social media platforms are intentionally designed to entice them to become addicts. We’re talking psychological manipulation. One iGen in this survey admitted: “I clearly am addicted, and the dependency is sickening.”

Suggest they protect their mental health by setting limits on their social use at specific times (at bedtime, during dinner, at social events, etc.), and hold them accountable, as needed. (My smartphone contract might help.)Push back on their belief (and fear) that their value and worth comes from their likes and followers. God alone sets their value.

In 2015, a team of childhood development experts worked with CNN to survey the social posts of 200 13-year-olds from across the United States. After reviewing 150,000+ posts, the experts concluded that being 13 today is “like being in a real-time 24/7 popularity contest.” 

Just trying to imagine living up to that pressure is enough to give me a migraine. And it makes me mad.

I hope you’ll agree that our youth need to hear and believe this truth: that God alone sets their value. He calls them “valuable,” “cherished,” “loved,” and “chosen.” God accepts them and will never “unfriend” or “unfollow” them. That makes His love a million times better than a million “likes.”Let’s connect this generation to Him!

Josh D. McDowell

P.S. Read more about my Gen Z research here.

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Social Media: Good for Gen Z?

The smartphone has significantly reshaped society. With this powerful tool in hand, we have instant access to all things digital: texts, emails, Google ads and searches, and social media. But is being digitally connected 24/7 a good thing?

How is it affecting our youth, specifically Gen Z (also known as iGen), who are currently between 6 and 24 years old?

Want more Gen Z insights? Check out Josh McDowell’s research here.

Gen Z Snapshot

Technology is an indistinguishable part of the Gen Z identity. They admit their online connections give them comfort, purpose, and focus. But many, as they increase their social media and chat room usage, find the engagement is also fueling their anxiety. 

We need social connection with others; it’s a key factor in our feeling positive and happy. But many youth feel pressured to spend so much time on social media because of “FOMO”  — fear of missing out. Many worry that jumping off could negatively affect their social ranking. And then there’s the reality that the engagement is really fun — until it’s not. One iGen in this survey admitted: “I clearly am addicted, and the dependency is sickening.”

Some alarming usage stats: a 2015 study by Common Sense Media found that teens spend nearly 9  hours a day consuming media; tweens spend nearly 6 hours. More than 40 percent of teens admit to being on their device “almost constantly.” Some are juggling 100+ text exchanges each day. That’s a lot of stimulus and focus for young brains working hard to develop properly.

Cut the 24/7 digital connection, and these young people really feel it: 31 percent admit they feel uncomfortable being away from their phones for 30 minutes. 58 percent feel uncomfortable if they are without their phones for a few hours. More than 65 percent of surveyed Gen Z admit they experience a high level of stress when their phone is lost, broken, or stops working.

Connected, But Lonely

When television came out, it was marketed as a way to bring families and friends together. Now most homes have more than one television, so users can watch on their own. Social media has been similarly marketed. Despite the promised online community of “friends,” Gen Z is experiencing high levels of loneliness, depression, and even suicide.

Reduced in-person interaction is a factor. But so is comparison. A 2014 survey of 180 college students found that the more time the students spent on Facebook, the more they experienced mild symptoms of depression. In 2015 a team of childhood development experts worked with CNN to survey the social posts of 200 13-year-olds from across the U.S. After reviewing 150,000+ posts, the experts concluded that being 13 is “like being in a real-time 24/7 popularity contest.”

Imagine the social pressure our youth are feeling as they work hard to gain social nods to validate their self-worth. Imagine how comparison is preventing them from feel satisfaction and gratitude. 

It was Eleanor Roosevelt who wisely noted, “Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.” We lose the ability to like and love ourselves when we allow others to assign our value. As brain research shows, what we think matters. Our thoughts form our beliefs, which dictate how we view ourselves and our place in the world.

Studies show that self-esteem and life satisfaction levels dropped sharply in the U.S. after 2012 — the year that the number of people owning a smartphone crossed 50 percent.Healthy Social Media 

It’s too late to close and lock Pandora’s box, but we can help Gen Z to:      

Understand that social media platforms are intentionally designed to entice them into addiction. We’re talking psychological manipulation. Even when we’re not on social media, we’re thinking about it, right? And it doesn’t help that Facebook tries to be “helpful” in letting you know you’ve missed posts because your “engagement” is down.

Set healthy limits on their social use at specific times (at bedtime, during dinner, at social events, etc.), and hold them accountable, if needed. This smartphone usage contract might be helpful to your kids.

Push back on their belief (and fear) that self-worth comes from their gained likes and followers. When our youth ground their worth in Scripture, they gain confidence to fight conformity and social acceptance.

Our youth need to hear and believe this truth: God alone sets their value. He calls them “valuable,” “cherished,” “loved,” and “chosen.” God accepts them, warts and all. God will never “unfriend” or “unfollow” them.

That makes His love a million times better than a million “likes.”Want more Gen Z insights? Check out Josh McDowell’s research here.

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Note from Josh: How well do you know Gen Z?

What pops into your mind when you read the term “Gen Z”?Do you have a clear picture of these individuals (also known as “iGen”), including their age range and general beliefs about morality, truth, God, and technology?Take this quick True/False quiz:T/F: Gen Z is roughly between the ages of 6 and 24.T/F: Gen Z is the first generation to be all digital. Google is their “BFF.”T/F: Gen Z sees truth as subjective, fluid, and dependent on circumstance.T/F: Gen Z admits to feeling panicked if separated from their smartphones.T/F: Gen Z really care about their online popularity and influence.T/F: Gen Z is super lonely, despite their online connection 24/7. Many feel so depressed that they consider suicide.

Guess what? Every answer is true, though I wish some weren’t. It breaks my heart that some of these youth are hurting so much that they want to end their lives. 

One HUGE reason they’re so lonely and depressed? They don’t know how much God loves them — and they’re missing committed Christ-followers speaking love and truth and encouragement into their lives.

These 3 facts should motivate us to take action:
Society has influenced Gen Z to view the Church as judgmental, hypocritical, and exclusive. They don’t see us being like Jesus.Many Gen Z view Jesus as an “option,” rather than their Savior. He was a kind teacher, but what proof is there that He is God?50 percent of Gen Z youth raised in Christian households will give up Christianity when they leave home because they don’t personally know Jesus, nor the historical facts that should be the foundation of their faith.Clearly, those of us who know the life-changing love of Jesus need to “up our game” in telling this generation how He steps into our loneliness, shame, and feelings of worthlessness to give us hope, confidence, and purpose. We matter to Him. There’s nothing that can separate us from His love! Friend, we must make sure these youth hear this truth. How can God use YOU to reach even just one young person in this demographic?  Wherever you are, however you can, can I encourage you to pray about how you might share His love? God tells us that we will see fruit if we share His Good News with love, humility, and grace.Until the whole world hears about Jesus! 

Josh D. McDowell

P.S. Get my Gen Z facts here!

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