Kristen Lamb's Blog, page 97

Life in Living Color–Meet Francis, Herald of the Digital Renaissance

For those who haven’t visited WANA International, the video above is Francis’s debut film. I believe his story might sound familiar. Francis is our WANA mascot, and embodies what we believe at WANA. Too many artists are trying to be something they aren’t, largely because they don’t have a system of support. They believe they need to be “practical”, that following their hearts and pursuing their passions are “foolish hobbies.”

The world need art. The world needs you.

I remember the day I met Francis, he came to me looking like this:

Francis has come a long way, and so can you!

We at WANA look forward to helping you live life in full color. Join us for the launch party at #WANAParty on Twitter. We will be celebrating a new age for artists starting at 2 p.m. CST. We will be having fun, chatting, networking and also giving away cool gifts and prizes.

Make sure you take time to join us at the new social media site for creatives. WANATribe is the artist salon of the Digital Age. Writers, dancers, actors, painters, filmmakers, all creatives all the time. No matter where you turn on WANATribe you will find friends who understand you because they are creatives, too.  Here is the invitation.

WANA is more than training, we’re family. Creativity and imagination needs to be nurtured. Artists need input, tough love and accountability. It is too easy to spend our lives miserable, trying to stuff a square peg in a round hole. Well, no more. WANA offers the professional training and WANATribe offers the network of support.

With WANA success is now up to the individual artist, because…We Are Not Alone.

WANA International—Connecting the Hearts

Just so you guys know, Natalie Markey is doing an interview with Francis on her blog today. Here is a peek:

Natalie: When did you first know you wanted to be an artist?

Francis: I was born in a chicken coop and raised by a family of Easter Eggers. My mother, being, well, a big chicken, never encouraged me to pursue much beyond the daily pecking out a living. I always knew I was different. I didn’t look like my sisters and brothers and they made fun of my different colors, because I wasn’t like them. But no matter how I tried to fit in, it never worked. That was part of how I started losing my feathers.

Seriously embarrassing.

Bird-pattern-butt-baldness is never sexy.

I always loved to paint. I think it was because Easter was my favorite time. All the Pez egg dye, the glitter, the pizzazz. I didn’t know why we didn’t decorate the eggs all year long.

I was in the minority.

Natalie: Tell us about losing your job. Did your love for art help you cope?

Francis: No matter what I tried I could NOT learn Excel. I actually had a few feathers when I took the position. The spreadsheets and Power Point presentations got the last few. Then typing…all hunt-and-peck.

I was terrified when I got fired. What was I going to tell my mom back at the henhouse? How was I going to scratch out a living? I was scared, but in a way, I felt liberated. That place had clipped my wings a long time ago, yet I was too numb to feel it.

Actually, my art didn’t help me cope at all. It was my calling all along, but I was too busy fitting in to see it.

See the rest of Francis’ interview here.

Can Facebook Hold Your Fan Page Hostage? Fallout from the IPO Debacle & How It Affects YOU

One of the reasons WANA methods are so powerful is that WANA focuses on people and relationships, not technology. Here’s the thing. To say the Internet changes a lot is like saying that Lady GaGa is a tad eccentric. Everything changes so quickly we can’t keep up. But you know what never changes?

People.

This is why we can still take a Shakespeare play, King Lear, set it on a farm in modern times and call it A Thousand Acres and it wins Academy Awards. Audiences can still relate. Humans are timeless. Thus, in a world where the technology changes faster than most of us can keep up, the only sure bet is people. Social platforms come and go, but humans remain.

So why am I bringing this up?

Power Corrupts and Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely

We must be really careful how much power we give to any social platform. This is one of the reasons I am strongly against platforms that rely heavily on sheer numbers. It takes time and energy to build a following of 20,000 or 40,000 or even 100,000. Not only does it take time, but if something happens?

KABLOOEY!!!!

I’ve never been a huge fan of Facebook. I mean, I like it and I participate, but even though I wrote about how to build a fan page, I dragged my feet building one of my own. I blame it on Navy training. My father was in military intelligence and so I tend to be a bit paranoid. I won’t sit with my back to a room, I don’t use my real name for store discount cards, and I don’t keep all my social media eggs in one basket.

I’m not willing to give anyone that much power over my platform.

Yes, I am a tad Orwellian. Sure they are using my Kroger card to track my purchases to send me coupons. Like I buy THAT story. Probably collecting my information so they can sell it to the CIA in case they wanted to kidnap me and put probes in my brain to read my thoughts.

I’ll stop.

Anyway, the only reason there is a MyWANA fan page is that one of my WANA peeps who ROCKS Facebook, offered to build it.

That is the WANA way…the whole chipping in thing. It is seriously awesome. Thank you Lisa Hall-Wilson! She is our Facebook expert at WANA International.

So What is the Problem with Fan Pages?

Fan pages are dangerous when we rely too much on the sheer volume of numbers. Anything that relies on numbers already has a depressing ROI (Return on Investment {about 3-5%}). It is this depressing ROI that causes people to need higher numbers. 

Think, mass mailings.

But there is another problem. As I said a second ago, building a fan page with these mega numbers takes time, energy and investment, but, if we aren’t careful, it makes us vulnerable.

For those of you who have fan page, I don’t know if you have noticed that there is a % sign that now appears under each of your posts showing how many of your fans you reached.

To quote Cinda Baxter of the 3/50 Project:

The number shown doesn’t represent the number of your fans online at the moment; it’s the abysmally small number Facebook bothered to publish in newsfeeds.

Yeah. You read that correctly. Most of your fans don’t receive your posts. At all. In any way, shape, or form. Facebook is only sharing them with fans who repeatedly return to your page, post on your page, comment on your page, or otherwise engage on your page.

But after these % signs appeared, another button magically appeared as well, Promote. Yes, we now have to pay Facebook to reach the rest of our fans. Not to advertise, but to reach people who are already fans. Oh, and it isn’t as if this is a small number. When Cinda Baxter crunched the numbers, she calculated that every post, to reach her existing fan base that she’d built for the 3/50 Project, would be about $500 a post.

I’d actually received a phone call from an incensed fan page owner (a fellow writer) over the weekend who calculated she’d have to ante up $300 per post if she wanted to reach her fans.

What Happened?

Well, this is the problem with a private company going public. The same thing happened with MySpace. One day it was a lot of fun, and the next day we couldn’t go to a friend’s page without risking a computer crash from all the ads.

The second a company goes public, then revenue and shareholders start taking precedence. Facebook’s bloated IPO (Initial Public Offering) put them in a bind.

“How can we measure up to the shareholders’ expectations? We need to make money.”

To quote Steve Tobak of CBS Money Watch:

Even at yesterday’s close of $25.87, with a corresponding valuation of $55 billion and a price-to-earnings ratio of 66, Facebook’s stock is still overpriced. If this doesn’t wake up investors — institutional and retail — to the perils and pitfalls of an over-hyped tech company, whether the stock trades on a private exchange like SecondMarket or going public on the Nasdaq, I don’t know what will. 

Facebook is being called the dot.com bubble 2.0 and now it’s busting…BIG TIME. FB needs to make money in a bad way, and, sorry fan page owners, you are the cash cow. Facebook knows that you’ve put a lot into those fan pages and they are hoping that, by holding your numbers hostage, they can squeeze out some moooooo-lah.

Ba da bump *snare*. Yes, folks, I’m here all week. Drinks half price after five.

This is one of the reasons that focusing on people is paramount in the Digital Age. See, the mega companies like Coca Cola or Victoria’s Secrets won’t bat an eyelash at dropping that kind of cash to post. They probably spend that on stamps. Advertising has been making a shift to social media for the past decade anyway. The big companies can just take their print budget and pay Facebook.

But what about the little guy?

What about the author who relies on the fan page to connect with her audience? To let fans know about book releases and giveaways and other important events? What about the musicians? The artists? The photographers? What about all the creative professionals who rely on Facebook to help their businesses? Most of us don’t have $300 or $500 to shell out per post. Heck, as much as I post on social media, I’ve already spent the GNP of Jamaica just today.

Facebook was a way that we, the little guy, had to level the playing field. We didn’t need a big ad budget like Target or Slim Jim. We could just invest good old-fashioned sweat equity and run with the big boys.

Facebook Can Be Beaten at Their Own Game

Actually, from what I see of my numbers, this whole “charge you to reach your own fans” can be beaten. What Facebook is doing is basically making people pay to advertise. Yet, a fan page done properly, the WANA way, is a relationship. Remember, what Cinda said, Facebook is only sharing them with fans who repeatedly return to your page, post on your page, comment on your page, or otherwise engage on your page.

Well, when you build a fan page using WANA methods, your fans will be doing all of those things. Lisa Hall-Wilson teaches Facebook the WANA way, so I recommend her class Own Your Own Stage: Using Facebook to build Your Author/Artist Brand.

Next week we will talk about some practical ways that WANA can help you keep your fan page connecting to your fans. In the meantime, I recommend checking out Cinda Baxter’s blog, Facebook Fans Aren’t Seeing Your Posts and How to Fix It. Cinda was kind enough to send her post to me and she has some suggestions to help navigate this new digital roadblock.

The Up Side and the Down Side

Remember, all of these social sites have pluses and minuses. The better the social site, the better the odds it will become a publicly traded company, and that’s when the bottom line and profit margins take center stage. Facebook is still awesome. Face it, it has almost like a billion members. Sheer volume makes it a worthwhile place to hang.

But we must be ever vigilant and guard our platforms. If we get lazy, it is too easy for our platform to be held hostage. People who’ve relied heavily on automation and spam and form letters are going to be the first to feel the hurt, and frankly, I am not too upset about that.

Make No Mistake, We Will Pay for Our Platform

We will either pay with money, or with our time and attention. But when we pay with money, the ROI is dismal and we have a lot less flexibility to move if we no longer like the site. When we invest in relationships, it still costs, but our platforms will remain in tact and will be more resilient to change. And, frankly, investing in people is a lot more fun and rewarding anyway.

So next week some tactics to help, but if you are just fed up with Facebook, hop on over to the new social site for creatives WANATribe. Here is an invitation. I built it and so I reign supreme and do not tolerate spam, ads, form-letters, trolls or bots. Our goal is to recreate the salons of Paris, a digital world where creatives can some together and network, make friends, collaborate, or just share Jell-O shot recipes.

The cool part is that you can customize your own page, kind of like MySpace before it went crazy, so it allows us to be a little more artsy (and there is no friend limit). Also, everywhere you turn you will meet creative people just like you. Hope to see you there! Also remember the WANA International kick-off party will be Friday at #WANAParty and we will be giving away all kinds of cool prizes.

What are your thoughts? Do you think Facebook should charge? Are they getting too greedy? Have they hurt your fan page following? Do you think Facebook has hurt their brand with these changes? Do you think Facebook going public is the beginning of the end? Or do you think they are too big to be adversely affected? Come on! We can all play armchair economist!

I love hearing from you!

To prove it and show my love, for the month of June, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner every week for a critique of your first five pages. At the end of June I will pick a winner for the grand prize. A free critique from me on the first 15 pages of your novel. Good luck!

I also hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer . And both are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in the biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left to write great books.

I Bring You…A Gift–A New Era for the Digital Age Artist

I know I have been driving you guys nuts for months about this gift I had in store for you. Well, my business partner Ingrid Schaffenburg (the ballerina) and I been working 16 hour days 6 days a week since February. We’d wanted to space out your gifts, kinda like Hanukah or the 12 Days of Christmas, but we had a lot on our plate.

Even though a lot of the WANAs helped us—and we totally could not have done this without them—we’re still trying to change the world, which is a HUGE deal. So instead of Hanukah, you guys are getting the “Mommy’s working two jobs so she stayed up all night wrapping your gifts in Happy Anniversary paper and here they are…all of them.”

A Small Speech First

Hey, stop whining! You’re getting all your gifts at once. Stop pulling up the edges of tape. We see you O_O.

Welcome to the Digital Age. It is an amazing time to be a writer. There are so many opportunities to succeed, and, for the first time in human history, it is actually possible for a fiction author to not only make a living, but earn a good living.

For the first time, an author’s work ethic and training truly count. In the Digital Age, it ain’t over until we quit. In the old paradigm, countless good books failed to to thrive because of a number of factors outside the artist’s control. Additionally, many excellent works were never published for factors that had more to do with the market than the quality of the writing.

In the olden days, in the face of rejection, a writer had only three choices.

1. Stuff the work in a drawer and keep writing and hope the market would want the rejected work one day.

2. Keep shopping the work forever hoping he could hassle enough people until someone saw the genius in his work and would take a chance.

3. Quit and go back to evil day job and rue the day he was foolish enough to want to be a writer.

4. Get plastered and type drunken messages on the publisher’s Facebook page.

Okay, four choices, but I would totally avoid that fourth one.

These options, of course, are still available to all of us. Ah, but in the Digital Age of Publishing we have new options and more options. Self-publishing is now a viable career path.

Many agents are now looking for clients among the self-published successes.Why? Because they are a tested commodity, but also many self-published authors come with a strong platform and excellent business skills. They are able to write good books very quickly to keep pace with demand from the fans.

In fact, many traditional publishers are now requiring their authors to have a social media platform, to blog, and to do book tours and digital launch parties…even the mega-authors. Last year I helped NYTBSA James Rollins throw a digital launch party for The Devil’s Colony and this year we are back at it with Bloodlines. 

So this idea that traditional publishing will allow us to sit in our cave and listen to Enya and write books while they do all the marketing is urban legend.

Yes, urban legend like Mr. Rogers was never a Marine sniper, there was no mermaid body found on the beach and the whole Richard Gere Gerbil Incident? Never happened. Sorry. Agent and publisher that does all our business stuff is a myth…much like Monkey Boy.

I was bummed too.

So the modern author has a lot of options and a lot better chances of success. Ah, but here is the catch.

Success in the Digital Age

The modern author has to be leaner, meaner, faster, hungrier and be able to telepathically communicate with dolphins. Okay, I totally made that last part up, but it would be a cool power, right?

Here is the deal, writers need to learn a lot more stuff. This notion that an agent is going to adopt us and do everything for us is another urban legend…like the man-eating snake.

Problems of the Digital Age

We Need to Know More….A Lot More

Back in the old days, all we had to know was how to write a really awesome book and lick a stamp. These days? We need to know how to use Scrivner to help us organize our novel and Excel to help us track expenses and then there is One Note to keep us on top of what we are doing for the book launch. Then we need to know Facebook, G+, Twitter, Flikr, Pinterest, Tumblr, Goodreads, Klout, Squidoo, You Tube and on and on.

Of course maybe we don’t need to know all of those, but how can we know the best fit for our platform if we don’t know what all these sites do? But how can we know what these sites can do if we don’t take time to check them out? But where can we find the time?

We’re already working a day job and writing while keeping the toddler from eating the dog food and checking to make sure our elderly mother hasn’t used the Easter egg dye on her hair again and…it…is…all…too…..much.

Technology Changes So Quickly

We need to know a lot more stuff, but to add another level of interesting, it changes all the time. We just about figure out how to use Facebook and they New and Improve us with Timeline.

Thanks, Facebook. You seriously suck.

For those who want to self-publish, this technology changes constantly and it is a time-investment of trial and error to figure it out. Time you don’t have!

Conferences Have Limits

Writing conferences are some of the best investments we can make in our career, but they only happen once a year. Also, unless we happen to live in the area, we have to travel and travel is grossly cost-prohibitive. But there is so much to learn. We need writing classes and social media and technology classes and EEEEP!

Our Budget and Schedule have Limits

Conferences can cost hundreds or thousands of dollars, so obviously it isn’t like we can attend one a month. We need classes that are affordable and that fit within our busy schedule.

Social Media Taught by Social Media Experts

Yes, I list this as a problem. A HUGE problem. Why? Because social media experts are not artists first. They are social media experts. Many of them don’t understand that we need time to do our art.

Also, many of them don’t understand that traditional marketing does not sell books. Period. Never has and never will. What works in Corporate America does not work for books. For those curious as to why, go here.

It isn’t enough to know how to use a certain social platform. We have to know how to use it in a way that sells books. WANA works and that is why I openly share WANA success stories like Author Jillian Dodd who made over $100,000 last year and donated $10,000 to her favorite charity. Before WANA, she’d sold 36 books. Same book. Same work ethic. Different approach, a WANA approach. Also, she had time left to write more books.

Jillian is amazing and she truly embodies the WANA spirit. She not only does her own stuff, but she stops to offer help to new writers. She is never too successful to pay it forward.

To Be Successful, We Have to Write Good Books Quickly

The indie and self-published author has to be able to write a lot of books to make the big money. If we look at all the indie authors who are making a good living, they either came to the table with a traditionally vetted backlist (Bob Mayer, Barry Eisler) or they just were super fast writers (John Locke, Amanda Hocking, H.P. Mallory) who could keep pace with the demands of the fans.

Even traditional publishing is making authors pick up the pace. They used to only require a book every other year. Now? A book a year and they are requiring authors to release novellas to prime the pump for the main release. So a book and a novella a year. And, as the indies gain more market share? Expect that pace to pick up.

Kristen STOP! We need a paper bag and a prescription of Xanax!

No, you will be fine. In fact, you will be way more than fine. You are gonna be AWESOME. Get your shades cuz the future’s so bright you gotta wear shades cuz it could fry off your corneas.

That was actually the original lyric to that song, but nothing rhymes with “cornea.”

Anyway, back to your gifts…

Gift #1 WANA Learn?

WANA International–Empowering Artists of the Digital Age

WANA International is here to help the artist of the Digital Age. We have over 40 instructors all over the world. We offer holistic training for the artist.

Craft

We have craft training from some of the top authors in the business—New York Times Best-Selling & USA Today Best-Selling Author Shirley Jump, Nationally Best-Selling Author James Scott Bell, award-winning author and revered writing teacher Les Edgerton, Vicki Hinze (RITA Award Winner who has over a million books in print). These are just of the few talented individuals we have to help you guys learn to be faster, better, cleaner writers. From plotting to dialogue, we have you covered.

Technology

Want to finally learn how to use some of those programs you paid good money for? Not only do we have the best technology trainers, but they are all artists. They are all using the technology for their writing career. They speak your language!

Social Media

Need a platform? Need to learn to blog? Want to learn how to use Pinterest, G+, Goodreads, Tumblr, Flikr, Twitter, etc.? Not only does WANA International have a class, all our classes are taught by writers using the technology successfully. Our instructors are not from a PR firm or “marketing experts” with marketing/promotion companies and services to sell.

Our instructors are all writers who understand marketing and promotion using social media, and they are using it successfully without using automation, form letters or spamming people. Our instructors all use WANA methods.

I can only learn so many social platforms, but with my WANA team? We’ve got all the bases covered. Learn the WANA Way for any platform you choose, and, if the platform makes a major change? *cough* *Timeline* WANA will have you covered.

Lifestyle

Balanced writers are happy and productive writers. Our lifestyle, attitude and health affects our art, so we need to learn ways to manage all these new roles we’ve gained in the Digital Age. At WANA, we care about the whole artist–mind, body and soul. This is why we offer training for time-management, setting boundaries, and nutrition for maximum productivity, just to name a few.

Business

When should writers become an LLC? What about taxes? What should writers look for in a contract? How do we decide when to go indie versus traditional? How do we land an agent? Write a query letter? What do we look for in an agent? Do we still need an agent even if we are self-published? How can we succeed using KDP Select? When do we need a web site? What advantages are there to book trailers? How do we find the right cover design? How do we do a book launch? A blog tour? Score a book review?

The writing business has become a whole new level of complicated. But no fear, WANA is here. We bring you literary agents, entertainment lawyers, and the top experts in publishing to answer your questions and train you to be an Artist-Entrepreneur.

Format

We will be using Go-To-Webinar technology to make learning easy and fun.

Gift #2–WANA Family? A Community? A support network?

One thing that WANA does differently is we won’t cut you loose to sink or swim. We not only teach you, but then we plug you into a community to help support you and nurture you during those early days when your career or platform is in its infancy. We give you better than a family, we give you a TRIBE.

I knew that artists needed a support network almost as much, if not more, than training. This job is hard, it’s lonely and we need creative energy to thrive.

My business partner an I were inspired by the movie Midnight in Paris and we thought it was so cool how writers hung out with other creatives. The Paris salons were filled with writers, dancers, actors, painters, filmmakers, and it was this glorious cross-pollination of imagination.

Then I, being the social media Jedi, thought, “Why can’t we recreate that digitally?”

So, we did. We built you your very own social network, WANATribe.

WANATribe is the modern salon. We aren’t Facebook and aren’t trying to be. We are only for the creative professional. No matter where you turn on WANATribe, you will find friends, because everyone is an artist just like you. WANATribe is free of spam and automation because on WANATribe? I am GOD and will smite them and cast them to the unholy depths of the recycle bin.

No more bots! On WANATribe, you can be yourself and talk about your art because we care. 

WANATribe is integrated with Twitter and Facebook so you can still connect with coworkers, family and schoolmates, and we also have all the functionality of the major social platforms. Upload photos, music, video and even customize your own page to express your uniqueness in a way that FB doesn’t offer.

I’ve been running a beta version for the past six weeks and we already have a growing population of writers, artists, videographers, graphic artists, designers, etc. Connect with all kinds of creatives. Now networking is a whole new kind of fun.

Sign up today and please invite all your crazy artist friends. The more the weirder merrier.

Gift #3–WANA Mascot?

When we began WANA, we wanted a symbol, something that embodied what WANA stood for. I happened to notice that the eye of the peacock feather was an inverted heart wrapped with what looked like a W.

I’ve always referred to WANA as The Love Revolution because we aren’t founded on marketing or promotion or selling stuff. We aren’t founded on self-serving objectives. We are founded on the principles of love, service, and community. It’s why WANA works and it’s why it thrives. It feels right. So the fact that the peacock feather had a heart and a W was just kismet.

Also, the peacock is revered in cultures all over the globe. It has been a symbol of art, beauty and resurrection for thousands of years. How perfect is that?

Once we decided on a symbol, I dusted off my art supplies and drew us a mascot. I drew Francis in all his splendor, a mascot for all artists.

But Francis didn’t always look like this. Like most of us, Francis has a story…

We are all Francis. The night I drew Francis I had a dream. Francis told me his story and I woke up upset…no. I woke up heartbroken. I pulled out my sketchpad and I drew out his story. When it was complete, I knew it had to be shared. We knew we were launching WANA International and WANATribe, but we needed this final piece. So we contacted an animator in NYC and scraped together the funds to tell Francis’s story…because it is my story, and likely it is your story, too.

Artists live in a world that doesn’t value their contribution the way it should. Many artists get discouraged and give up. WANA is here to change that. There are many wonderful resources to help artists, be we want to help the whole artist. We will give you the skills and the support to reach your dreams.

We are not alone.

Thanks for being patient and I hope you will go check out your gifts. Go browse WANA International. Francis’s debut film is on our home page, so check out his short film and then come back here and let me know what you think . Here is your invitation to WANATribe and I am super excited that I can hang out with you there.

Also, two of our WANAs are going to be throwing us a Twitter party! *happy dance* Join us on FRIDAY if you #WANAParty. There will be fun, prizes, digital mojitos and the World’s Largest Twitter Twister Board. We will be giving away free webinars, consultations with literary agents, and all kinds of cool stuff!

You guys are awesome and I am so thrilled to be a part of your success. THANK YOU!!!

I Miss Summer Vacation

First, an apology to those who commented on my Jujitsu post. Something got corrupted and…WordPress ate it. So we are going to switch topics. Hey, gotta love technology.

Ah, summer vacation. I miss it. I remember how the last three weeks leading up to school getting out were sheer torture. The poor teachers probably felt like prison guards trying to keep the inmates calm…only they didn’t have stun guns and a high-pressure hose (those were for the inner city elementary schools ). Though, now that I think about it, slap a sprinkler on the end of that high-pressure hose and we would have likely loved that.

Did you guys end your year with Field Day? Sorry. I hated Field Day. I think Field Day was invented by the same sadists who thought up Dodge Ball. Every year I spent my last two days of school getting my butt kicked in every sport imaginable. Good thing I was too focused on summer vacation to care. All I had left to do is clean out the 900 pounds of crap I had somehow fit into my desk and locker.

Oh, there’s that protractor thingie that was on the school supply list. What DOES that thing do, anyway?

That final bell would ring and it was over. I would spend the next two and a half months loaded with sugar and wrinkled from water. My grandparents had a swimming pool and when we weren’t there, we were wearing a hole in my parent’s lawn with a Slip and Slide. Remember those things? Good thing I grew up in the days before everyone went lawsuit happy.

Really? You dove head-first off the station wagon onto a piece of plastic and sprained both your wrists??? Well, you won’t do that again, will ya? Stop crying before I give you something to cry about.

Yeah, NOTHING was childproof. All the playground equipment was heavy-duty industrial steel. And back then little girls actually wore dresses, so the first sucker kid down the slide usually suffered second degree burns down the backs of her thighs. So we would put the water hose on the slide and make our own water park. Between that, the dancing in the sprinkler and the Slip and Slide, I have no idea how my parents didn’t have a $600 water bill. Maybe they did, but it was well worth the money to keep the screaming hoard of wild Indians locked beyond the sliding glass door….which, by the way, was actually LOCKED. When cartoons were over at 8:30? Out the door we went.

Need water? Go lap some off the Slip and Slide. See, like the dog. Just drink upstream from him. Go! Before I put you to work cleaning bathrooms.

Gotta pee? Man used bushes for thousands of years. Just don’t let the Robinsons see you.

The neighbors want to take you to Jewish Camp? Okay, but this time, don’t convert. You cannot have a Bat-mitsvah, and you’re going to Baptist Camp next week. The Lutherans have dibs on you after that.

My brother and I had the COOLEST gym set out back. Nowadays it would be considered an Al Qaeda training facility. It was 20 feet tall, had uneven bars, parallel bars, climbing bars, a rope to climb, and iron rings. It was the glorious centerpiece of the neighborhood. ALL the kids wanted to be at my house playing Red Dawn, also known as Kill the Russians.

Oh, we were politically incorrect back then, too.

Those Russians were always taking Cabbage Patch Kids hostage. We knew they had a plan to brainwash them then reinsert them as Cabbage Patch Sleeper Cells that would kill us in our sleep…

…IF we ever slept. No we stayed up ALL NIGHT LONG. It was SUMMER!

Last night I stayed up until TWO THIRTY! Tonight I’m gonna stay up until FOUR. One day, when I’m bigger, I’m gonna stay up TWENTY ELEVEN HOURS! And when I grow up, I’m gonna have a Trans-Am and NEVER SLEEP EVER!!!!

Okay, yeah. We only stayed up that late when we went to my cousin’s house. They were…teenagers. We did all kinds of things we weren’t supposed to. We put on makeup, watched MTV (back when it actually had music) and watched scary movies and played Bloody Mary.

Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary…

Eh, she never did show, but that didn’t stop us from nagging her every Friday night.

My cousins are responsible for my current aquaphobia. If it ain’t chlorinated, I ain’t swimming in it. Jaws ruined me for salt water and Friday the 13th pretty much ruined fresh water. But it was okay, they had a pool too….and a DIVING BOARD.

Are those things even still legal to have now? We would spend all day long inventing new dives.

Oh, yeah, well I will raise your Cannon Ball a Bazooka Loaded with Banned Nuclear Warheads. TOP THAT, SUCKAH!

The first six weeks of summer were magic. We’d swim and play and go to Six Flags and stay up late so we could walk to that small wooden health hazard shack that served as a snow cone stand for five months out of the year. We’d play in the streets until the street lamps flickered on and beckoned us home. Then we’d beg our parents to let us at least play in the front yard so we could catch frogs and fireflies.

Ah, but then that six weeks would be over, and we’d have the Seventh Week Itch. In Texas it is so hot by July that everything, including the kids, start to wilt. We were rested and ready for a new school year. Our parents started having to play warden and make us go to bed by nine so we could get our body clocks reset for school.

BED????? But it’s still LIGHT outside!!!!

As adults, what would we give to have three months to just play? Maybe that’s the secret to world peace. Maybe all of us are just stressed out and we need to have time to scream and yell and ride bikes up a ramp made out of a door someone threw away.

Maybe if the U.N. would just get all the world leaders together for the LONGEST SLIP AND SLIDE EVER!!!!! (Just tape all of Dad’s lawn bags to the end until you run out of space on the White House lawn). Maybe if everyone got a chance to play together and run off all the excess energy, maybe then we’d be too tired and happy to be stressed.

I miss summer vacation. How about you? What do you remember? What summer rituals did you have?

Learning to Drop the Donkey–Is Perfectionism Killing Your Career?

All of us want to do a good job. We want to put our best foot forward. We all say that we want feedback and critique, but deep down, if we are real honest, we want people to love everything we say and do. Unfortunately, this isn’t the reality. We can’t please everyone, and it is easy to fall into a people-pleasing trap that will steal our passion, our art, and our very identity.

I’ve seen this happen time and time again with writers. They rework and rework and rework the first chapter of their novel, trying to make it “perfect”—which is actually code for “making everyone happy.” Here is the thing. Not gonna happen. Ever. One person will say our book is too wordy. Another wants more description. We add more description and then another person is slashing through, slaughtering every adjective and metaphor.

Lessons from Aesop

I find it interesting that some of my favorite childhood stories were about character issues that I’ve struggled with my entire life. My favorite story Old Man Whickett’s Donkey and was loosely based off one of Aesop’s fables, The Man, The Boy and The Donkey. The story in a nutshell is this.

An old man and his grandson head to market with their donkey carrying bags of grain for sale. A passerby says, “What a fool. Why buy a donkey if you aren’t going to ride him?” In response to the critic, Old Man Whickett and the boy load up and ride the donkey into the next town where another passerby says, “You cruel lazy people. That poor donkey carrying all that weight. You should be ashamed.” So Old Man Whickett and the boy dismount and carry the bags of grain and the donkey (which seriously freaked out the donkey).

Anyway—and I am probably butchering this story, but give me a break, I’ve slept since I was five—Old Man Whickett and the boy keep trying to please everyone who passes and what happens? The bags of grain burst open and spill all over the road from being moved around so much (and in Aesop’s version the donkey falls in the river and drowns). They never make it to market and all of them are exhausted and half-dead from trying to please everyone.

Moral of the tale? Try to please everyone and we please no one.

This is a very useful lesson for us to remember not only in our writing, but when it comes to our brand. When I originally wrote my first book, the publisher wanted to call it Marketing for Writers. Deep down I knew the title was wrong and would be more likely to send writers running for the closest liquor store than inspire them to learn. I refused to move forward until we fixed the title. That was when Jen Talty asked me the key question. She asked, “What do you want readers to feel when they read this book?”

I replied, “I want writers to know they aren’t alone. They don’t have to do this by themselves.”

She said, “Then call it We Are Not Alone.”

The second she said the title, I knew it was perfect. I can’t tell you how many people told me it sounded like a science fiction book or a conspiracy theory site. I had many well-meaning people who told me the title would never work. It sounded too space alien and would confuse people. But you know what? We have to understand our target audience, create a brand and then stick to it. I stuck to We Are Not Alone and guess what? People’s brains did NOT explode when they realized I wasn’t going to tell them intimate secrets of Area 51.

You guys are so sharp. I knew it all along .

The Fine Line of Fools

We have to walk what I will call the Fine Line of Fools. There are two different types of fools. There are fools who plunge ahead and don’t ask for any feedback and ignore anyone who tries to warn there might be a problem. But then there is the other type of fool who can never seem to make up her mind. She keeps changing direction every time someone has an opinion.

All of us are in danger of being one kind of fool or another. While the wise writer is open to critique, she also needs to know when to stand her ground. If she doesn’t learn to stand firm, that’s when the donkey hitches a ride.

I would love to tell you guys I’ve never been either of those fools, but I don’t dig getting struck with lightning.

Perfectionism and People-Pleasing Mask Fear

I have learned through a lot of trial, error and stupidity that perfectionism and people-pleasing really are just an extension of fear. If we get everyone’s opinion about our book, web site, blog, color of fingernail polish, if someone else doesn’t like it, then we don’t have to own it.

“Well, that wasn’t my idea. That was Such and Such’s idea.”

Learn to Drop the Donkey

In this new paradigm, all of us need to learn to be leaders and leaders own everything, the good and the bad. That is no easy task, and I have to admit there are times my neck starts hurting and I get this lower back pain and then I realize…I’M CARRYING THE FREAKING DONKEY! DROP THE DONKEY, YOU IDIOT!

We have to be aware that people mean well. Humans offer constructive criticism to show love, even if there is nothing wrong. I’ve seen perfect works of fiction get eviscerated by well-meaning “helpful” critique groups. This is why it is critical to really understand the rules of writing, why it is essential to really know what our book is about, and to learn to be confident in our brand. This way, when well-meaning folk offer us poles and twine to tie up the donkey on a sledge, we can say, “No, thanks. I think my donkey can walk.”

So are you carrying the donkey? Do you find him difficult to drop? Do you fall into the trap of carrying your donkey? I know I am a notorious donkey-toter, but getting better every day. What tools, suggestion or advice would you offer to other who struggle with their respective donkeys? What are warning signs that you are carrying a donkey? How many of you just realized that I did not, in fact, hold the keys to Area 51?

I love hearing from you!

To prove it and show my love, for the month of May, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner every week for a critique of your first five pages. At the end of May I will pick a winner for the grand prize. A free critique from me on the first 15 pages of your novel. Good luck!

***IMPORTANT MESSAGE–For those who have not gotten back pages. My web site fiasco has been responsible for eating a lot of e-mails. Additionally I get about 400 e-mails a day and the spam folder has a healthy appetite too. It is hard to tell since some people never claim their prize, but I could have very well just not seen your entry. Feel free to e-mail it again and just put CONTEST WINNER in the header so I can spot you easily. (especially if your message is kidnapped by the spam filter).

I also hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer . And both are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in the biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left to write great books.

Happy Memorial Day—To the Unsung Heroes, We Give Thanks

The Spawn dragged these out of Daddy’s closet.

Today is Memorial Day and a time to stop and remember those who have sacrificed so much for our freedoms. I am so grateful for the men and women who serve this great country. Today, I want to take a moment to also thank heroes we might forget to think about. First, I want to thank the families of our service people. To the moms, dads, sisters, brothers, children and wives, THANK YOU! You guys are so vital, and maybe we don’t express our gratitude near enough.

This past year I got a little taste of what military wives go through. It was about two weeks before Thanksgiving, and my husband came home from his weekend warrior drill. He had this odd look on his face I’d never seen before. I asked him if he was okay, and didn’t reply. He just sank down into one of the kitchen chairs and hugged me for a long minute. I laughed nervously, wondering what had gotten into him.

“Honey.” *awkward laugh* “What’s wrong?”

“Bagram. We’re being deployed to Bagram.”

“Bagram? Where’s Bagram?” I asked, hoping that Alabama was at the end of that sentence. Or Maybe Mississipi. The South was known for naming small one-horse towns after exotic locations.

Paris, Texas. Enough said.

Yes, that was it. I was sending my husband to Bagram, Georgia for a month of training, mosquitoes and mud.

Note to self: Look up exact location of Bagram, Arkansas.

He buried his face deeper in my apron and mumbled, “Sweetie, Bagram is in Afghanistan.” His voice cracked. “I’m being deployed to Afghanistan.”

His words tipped my world upside down. I remember feeling very dizzy and then crying for days then weeks. All I could do is look at my husband and then think of him not being here. What would The Spawn do without Daddy?

***Note: The Spawn totally loves his daddy way more than me.

What would I do without my husband? I could barely pull our SUV in the garage without taking off the mirrors. And changing out the propane on the grill? I could easily wipe out half of Arlington, Texas just trying to make a burger. We won’t even begin to talk about the whole, You’re the husband so you get rid of any bug bigger than a flea agreement that is just part of every marriage license.

Everywhere I turned I just saw one more reason to start crying all over again. We went to our family ranch for Christmas and it was the best time I’d ever had, except then I’d watch my husband ride by on an ATV with The Spawn, both of them bundled against the cold and I’d think, He won’t be here next year. He might be here ever again. This might be the last Christmas you ever have with him.

Most people cannot appreciate how difficult it was to find a man willing to marry me without the influence of psychotropic drugs or extortion. My husband loved that I played video games and that I knew every Star Trek episode and that I quoted Monty Python way more than was socially acceptable. I’d spent most of my life trying to find him and now he was going away and it was totally not fair.

Then I would feel so selfish and horrible. Why should I be so special? Countless other wives were going through the same thing, had already been through the same thing? Why was I an exception? And I knew I wasn’t, but I hated myself for wanting to be. I hated myself for praying my husband would spontaneously develop flat feet and then he wouldn’t have to go.

They did still kick people out for flat feet, right?

I so suck.

I love my country, and my family has been in the military for countless generations. Yes, we were the rowdy clan that got booted out of Scotland because we didn’t play well with the English. The military was in my blood and so was the life that went with it…and yet here I was still utterly unprepared.

Now, every time I drove home, I somehow managed to drive by every funeral home, cemetery and headstone manufacturer in the area. I saw more commercials for preparing a will than ever before. It was maddening. And I still had to blog and be funny and uplifting and I couldn’t even tweet about what was going on. What was I going to do without the support of strangers all over the world?

***Never underestimate the support of total strangers. It got me through Spawn knocking out all his front teeth.

Everything changed. We had to prepare for life without my husband. He’d be gone for almost a year. I had to make some major changes and learn things I thought I’d never have to, like exactly how the remote controls in our house worked, where all the flashlights were and how to change the line on the weed eater.

Might as well been back in the frontier days. Sheesh!

I started to notice all the things my husband did that I took for granted, then I’d sink into some more self-loathing. I loved my country, and I loved my husband. It all just hurt so much.

It didn’t help when I had military friends tell me that Bagram wasn’t that bad, that my husband had more chance of being killed in Washington D.C. than in Bagram. Okay, then why couldn’t he deploy to D.C.? Then I could at least visit.

It didn’t help when they told me that the time would go quickly or that my husband might not even go. Orders changed all the time, they told me.

I willed myself not to think about it. I had to prepare for him being gone and I didn’t dare hang my hope on his orders changing. I just had to prepare and it wasn’t like I was the first military wife to have to fly solo while her husband deployed. I would make this as easy for my husband as possible and this totally would make a great book one day.

Then, a couple of weeks ago, everything changed again. I got the phone call from my husband. His orders were canceled. He wasn’t deploying (this time). I’ve never been so happy about anything in my life, yet at the same time I feel guilty for my happiness. I know there are so many wives, so many families who don’t get this kind of reprieve.

Just so you know? I am so grateful for you. I cannot tell you how much I value your sacrifice. I valued it last year on Memorial Day, but not like I do this Memorial Day. You are made of finer stuff than I am, I know that.

So yes, thank you to all the troops and thank you so much to the families left behind. Thank you for your sacrifice.

Before I go, I would like to talk about one more type of hero that is easy for us to forget. War dogs. Many of these furry service pooches provide such a valuable service to our troops. To honor these unsung heroes, my friend NY Times Best-Selling Author James Rollins is calling for pictures to add to a Pinterest board dedicated to service animals.

Here are the details from Jim:

[WAR DOGS] I got all my ducks….or should I say, dogs…in a row this morning and created Pinterest Pinboard featuring military war dogs.I’m hoping to enlist members of the armed forces to share their pictures of their companions: at work and at play. If you are one of those folks, share them! Post your photo and story here on Facebook or just jump on over to my Pinterest page an pin your photo and story.

If you feel like sharing your OWN pictures of your four-legged companions being “warriors,” send those too! They could be serious, funny, poignant, or silly. I’d love to build a board of those pictures, too.Pinterest link: http://bit.ly/james-rollins-pinterest-pageDon’t have a Pinterest account? I’ll send you one. Email me here: http://bit.ly/james-rollins-contact

Photo Credit: Jennifer Ross. Location: Oman.

 — with Dave Dias and Wardogs by James Rollins.

Again, thank you to all the troops, to all who are serving and all who have served. We love you and can never fully express our gratitude. Also, to those who live near Arlington, Texas, my husband changed out the propane. You are safe…for now.

Happy Memorial Day!

My 20 Year High School Reunion–To Go or Not To Go? THAT is the Question

Heather Mooney (Janeane Garafalo) in Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion

Today is a bit different of a topic. High school. Oh…dear…GOD. My twenty year reunion is looming coming up and I am really torn whether or not to attend. Like many people, high school was really difficult. I was painfully shy and awkward and made up for my profound insecurity by talking non-stop. If you can’t dazzle with brilliance, baffle with…

I didn’t make friends, I took hostages.

Not to mention that my reunion is…well, complicated. See, I don’t even really know which reunion to attend. I was on the 5 year plan. I switched schools eleven times and five of those changes were in high school. My parents decided to move us to Florida in the middle of my sophomore year, which meant in Florida, I got the joy of doing my sophomore year…again.

Florida was nice to me. Even though I had to repeat 10th grade, they at least let me take honors classes. I took College Literature, Honors Marine Biology, only when I transferred back to Southwest in Fort Worth?

None of it counted.

Not even my Health and Wellness class.

The Fort Worth Codependent School District called it Health & Fitness, and, even though Florida’s Health & Wellness was taught from the exact SAME book, I got to retake the class…AGAIN. I took Health THREE times, all because each school called it something different and it was required that I not be confused where babies came from.

I hold a special kind of hate for school administrators.

Thus, instead of graduating in 1992 in a class of people I actually knew and whom I had gone to school with in my earlier years before my parents decided to move around more that Romany Gypsies, I graduated in 1993. Thus, technically I really shouldn’t be attending my 20 year reunion until NEXT year, but all the people I know are in the reunion THIS year. So, I don’t even think I am on the list of graduates for 1992. I keep picturing this humiliating scenario where they reenact crossing the stage, only I’m not on the list of those graduating.

*head desk*

Sort of like this dream I’ve had for the last 20 years where I am a successful doctor, lawyer, author and my high school counselor shows to tell me that there was a mistake. I never really graduated high school so my college degree is null and void and I am slotted to return to high school…and begin again at the tenth grade.

Because apparently I didn’t repeat that grade enough in the 90s.

The upside to all of this high school drama is that it made me funny. My dear friend and business partner Ingrid Schaffenburg tells me that humor is birthed from pain which explains why I am freaking HYSTERICAL. Those years were dreadful, but they taught me to never give up. Many people would have never finished school after being held back so many times.

But you know what? I learned to have rhino skin and not take myself so darn seriously and those are qualities that have helped me become a successful author. I learned that, when things get bad, we only have two choices—laugh or cry. I’ll take laughing any day of the week. I learned to just keep pressing. Keep moving forward. Setbacks are only temporary stops if we just keep moving forward.

Failure can be a tombstone or a stepping stone; the choice is ours.

Southwest was full of some really wonderful people that I wish I’d known better. No one was ever particularly mean to me (that was another high school), but I did watch most people from afar, envious of their friendships. I always felt like an outsider looking in.

At Southwest I just coasted along being an annoying overachiever who tried too hard.  I didn’t make a lot of close friends because I was so tired of saying good-bye. Every move had meant letting go of people I loved, so by the time I finally lighted on a school I kept everyone at a distance.

So after all of this, I am really on the fence about whether or not to go. I don’t really fit. Technically speaking I am actually crashing the 92 reunion, since I should attend the 93 reunion. I find life has a sick sense of humor. The person who hated high school gets to go to TWO reunions.

*passes out*

I keep waffling back and forth. I might get to finally make friends with the people I was too afraid to talk to back then, and that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. And then there is this other vision I get of spending a couple hundred bucks to just stand in a corner blabbing to one of the caterers.

So what are your thoughts? Should I go or not go? I am kind of terrified, but I just spent Wednesday’s blog kicking you guys out of the comfort zone and I try to take my own advice. But at least I’m honest when I tell you that I am a total chicken so I need your help before making this decision. This is one advantage to blogging . You can use your followers for free therapy feedback.What was your high school reunion experience? Good times? Biggest mistake EVER? Share your high school hell stories!

I’m actually happy I graduated from Southwest, because this could have totally been me had I graduated from another high school that shall not be mentioned by name…

I love hearing from you!

To prove it and show my love, for the month of May, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner every week for a critique of your first five pages. At the end of May I will pick a winner for the grand prize. A free critique from me on the first 15 pages of your novel. Good luck!

Last week’s winner of a 5 page critique is Marvin Mayer.  Please send your 1250 word Word document to authorkristen.lamb at gmail dot com.

***IMPORTANT MESSAGE–For those who have not gotten back pages. My web site fiasco has been responsible for eating a lot of e-mails. Additionally I get about 400 e-mails a day and the spam folder has a healthy appetite too. It is hard to tell since some people never claim their prize, but I could have very well just not seen your entry. Feel free to e-mail it again and just put CONTEST WINNER in the header so I can spot you easily. (especially if your message is kidnapped by the spam filter).

I also hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer . And both are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in the biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left to write great books.

The Comfort Zone is for Pets, Not Professionals

It’s a Purrgenomic Keyboard

I’m back! Just so you guys, know, I really missed you. Before we address today’s topic, some industry news. Months ago, I wrote a post Bracing for Impact–The Future of the New Publishing Paradigm where we talked about the problems with the publishing industry and I even offered some solutions to the indie bookstores’ problems. Stop fighting digital and get creative—pair paper and digital sales.

Then, two weeks ago, I wrote a post declaring that Big Six Publishing is Dead. In this post, I pointed out that Amazon would need to get its Kindles into a physical bookstore to survive. B&N stores had Nook, Target was partnering with Apple for the iPad, Kindle would HAVE to get its tuchus in a store because there is something about putting your physical product in the customer’s hands.

I said we should not be surprised when Amazon opened their own bookstores or partnered with a bookstore. Some cried that I was MAD! MADNESS! Amazon partnering with a bookstore? That is like Lady GaGa and Rush Limbagh going shopping together. Again, MADNESS!

Yes, sometimes even I think I’m crazy. Okay, well I am crazy, but my Publishing Magic Eight Ball was apparently right again.

Waterstones (a chain of almost 300 bookstores) just signed a deal with Amazon that will put Kindles and e-books in their bookstores so that customers can browse paper, but also choose to download the digital. And there will even be helpers there to show customers how to use their new device…which sounds a lot like my blog WANA Plan to Save the Bookstore. Yes, Waterstones has signed this deal, even after managing director James Daunt described Amazon as a, “ruthless, money-making devil.” Hey, apparently the devil pays the bills.

So I just had to give y’all the news because 1) this is a seriously cool development and is real business creativity and 2) I was RIGHT! Ha ha ha ha ha. Okay, I’ll stop *does cabbage patch dance*

This past weekend I attended the DFW Writers’ Workshop Conference, and it has to be one of my all-time favorite conferences. They always have some of the best talent in the industry teaching, and the panels are always well-balanced with experts from all areas of the emerging paradigm. Yet, one thing disturbed me this past weekend and I felt this blog was a great place to address it…so it might benefit all of you.

I watched a panel of experts who were talking about the changes in publishing, and virtually every expert from traditional publishing in NYC said one thing that bothered me deeply:

“We don’t expect our writers to do anything (regarding social media) that makes them uncomfortable. If you aren’t comfortable, don’t do it.”

And what I find fascinating is it is exactly this advice that is crippling NY’s ability to be competitive in the new paradigm. Over and over I had writers tell me, “Well, the editors said that if we aren’t comfortable blogging/tweeting, don’t do it.”

My answer? SERIOUSLY!!!!???? People who love you and care about your future don’t hand you a Snuggie.

If we are comfortable, we’re dying. Nothing great happens in the comfort zone. In fact a lot of creepy stuff that involves the fire department cutting you out of your house happens when you get too comfortable.

Every day you should do something that scares you. I do. In fact, I challenge myself once a day to do something truly uncomfortable (beyond wearing pants that actually button). Those actions that scare us are the most important; they are the game-changers that can take us warp speed to the next level.

You Have Not Because You Ask Not

Learn to ask. Ask a lot. Ask for stuff that frightens you. Four years ago, I had never even met a New York Times best-selling author in person. I was a member of the DFW Writers’ Workshop group and I happened to attend the OWFI Conference. I spotted NYTBSA Bob Mayer and attached myself like a burr in his sock.

Later that year, the DFWWW was planning the next year’s conference. I suggested that I could ask Bob to be the keynote, then immediately hoped they hadn’t heard me. But they had heard me, and the liquor store was already closed.

EEK!

Even though I had been teaching Bob all about the wonders of social media, he still kind of terrified me. I was just a lowly unpublished nobody. But, shaking, I wrote the e-mail THAT NIGHT, before I could talk myself out of it. Not only did Bob say YES, but later I became WDW’s (now Cool Gus Publishing’s) first outside author and my book became a #1 best-seller that has changed a lot of writer’s careers.

What would life have been like if I hadn’t dared to ask the question?

Same with James Rollins. He was my all-time favorite author. I stalked talked to him on Twitter and later, dared to ask the stuff that scared me. I asked for a blurb for my second book, and Jim, being the awesome person he is, not only said yes, he read my first book We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and loved it so much he bought a copy for his agent Russ Galen…who is now my agent, too.

All because I asked.

Create the Habit

Make no mistake, I’ve had my share of disappointments and embarrassments. I’ve asked plenty of times and gotten a “no.” Sometimes those “no’s” were two steps away from a restraining order. Yet, the more we ask, the more we push into what makes us afraid, the easier it gets. This is why it is so critical to challenge yourself as much as you can. The worst advice anyone can give you is to “maintain comfort.”

Pets are allowed to maintain comfort, not professionals.

Comfort and Lazy are Close Cousins

We all seek comfort. It’s human nature. But it is also human nature to be lazy and the line that defines the two is very, very thin and undefined. Lazy people are rarely successful. They are the lotto winners who are back on food stamps in five years. Comfort can easily infect our character and create bad habits that will slowly erode our success. We must be ever-vigilant. I know if left to my own design, I am so lazy I could slip into a coma…probably a sugar coma, because I don’t feel like cooking.

Comfort KILLS

What I found interesting at the conference was that the self-published and indie published authors were all about trying new stuff; new tactics, new technology, and really challenging themselves to learn as much as possible. If they didn’t understand formatting, the taught themselves or took a class or read a book. They tried new tactics and if they worked? GREAT! If not? Learn something, try something, do something else. FAIL. FAIL BIG and FAIL A LOT. Failure is always guarding the door to success.

Does this give a little hint why the indies are thriving while NY is dying? NY doesn’t want to be uncomfortable. They don’t want to let go of the old print/consignment model. They tell their writers not to do anything on social media that makes them uncomfortable.

Why not tell them to stop whining and then buy them copies of my books or send them to one of my classes? Or Bob Mayer’s classes? Or tell them to go talk to Kait Nolan?

Ways to Defeat the Lazy

1. Go THAT Way

If something makes us feel uncomfortable, likely that is the direction we need to go.

2. Get Educated

Sometimes things make us uncomfortable only because we don’t understand them. If Twitter makes you twitch, buy my book, take a class and learn how to use it. Follow these instructions and start using the #MyWANA and let the WANAs guide you. Plotting make you uncomfortable? Read James Scott Bell’s Plot and Structure or take one of his classes.

3. Suck It Up

Just do it. Every day write down something that would possibly be a game-changer…then do it FIRST. Is it writing a synopsis? A query? Writing a favorite author and telling them why you love his or her work?

4. No WHINING

Hobbyists whine, professionals roll up their sleeves and get to work.

5. Choose Friends Who Command Excellence

Step #4 is easier if you surround yourself with excellent friends who are also professionals. They will catch you in your whining and smack you around. I know this is why my closest pals are Piper Bayard, Ingrid Schaffenburg, Donna Newton, Kait Nolan and Jenny Hansen. I can count on them to knock me around if I start to whine too much. They keep me accountable and if you follow their blogs, you will see they are definitely committed to excellence.

Ingrid is my business partner and a former professional ballerina. I asked her to be my partner for good reason. Rumor has it that former ballerinas make excellent military drill instructors.

So what are your thoughts? Do you believe my advice is misguided? Maybe making people uncomfortable is a bad thing? What are some ways you get yourself out of your comfort zone? Do you have any tools, tactics or ideas you can contribute? Any places willing to rig a desk chair with electricity to keep writers from goofing off on Twitter?

To prove it and show my love, for the month of May, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner every week for a critique of your first five pages. At the end of May I will pick a winner for the grand prize. A free critique from me on the first 15 pages of your novel. Good luck!

***IMPORTANT MESSAGE–For those who have not gotten back pages. My web site fiasco has been responsible for eating a lot of e-mails. Additionally I get about 400 e-mails a day and the spam folder has a healthy appetite too. It is hard to tell since some people never claim their prize, but I could have very well just not seen your entry. Feel free to e-mail it again and just put CONTEST WINNER in the header so I can spot you easily. (especially if your message is kidnapped by the spam filter).

I also hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer . And both are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in the biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left to write great books.

There is a Season

The Lamb Ranch May 2012

My parents were confused hippies. They both served in the Navy during Vietnam, but despite being military, they grew long hair, loved rock and roll and distrusted the establishment. I think the only real holdover from their hippie days was the music. I grew up listening to Hendrix, Janice Joplin, John Lennon and all kinds of classic anti-war 60s tunes. One tune popped in my head today as I was working in the yard. Turn, Turn Turn by the Byrds which was an adaptation of the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible.

To everything, there is a season.

I love to work in the yard. Maybe its because I come from many, many generations of farmers (Dad’s side). I am only one generation removed from picking cotton. In fact, my grandfather is 87 years old and he still works in triple digit heat doing backbreaking work that would flatten a 20 year old. We Lambs are just hardy stock who love to get our hands dirty.

There is just nothing more meditative than spending a few hours digging in the dirt and letting the mind rest and play.

We have a family ranch that is just shy of 200 acres. I go there to rest. Of course “rest” often consists of sitting on a tractor mowing or cleaning out the seven million black widow nests in the barn or chopping up deadwood to clear the trails. But I enjoy hard work, physical work. It lets my mind have time to make sense of things.

Texas experienced record droughts last year. We experienced wildfire after wildfire. Trees, cattle and people died. This year? We have been blessed with more than enough rain, but with that rain came the 7 foot weeds I got to mow over with a tractor all last weekend. I mowed until Hubby kicked me off the tractor when the sun went down, despite my well-formed argument that we had night-vision, ergo could invent a new sport…Night Mowing!

Yeah, he didn’t go for it. I’m glad too because I slept all day the next day.

The view from the front of my John Deere. Hubby was marking the trails w/ the ATV so I’d know where to mow.

Bionic weeds.

No reason for this pic other than it is totally BAD@$$! Lots of rattlesnakes and wild pigs on the ranch.

Back to our topic…

The land can’t be farmed all the time. There is a season. There is a time to plant, a time to grow, a time to harvest and a time to rest. Skip any one of these seasons and the penalty can be steep and the effects long-lasting. Writers are no different than farmers. We have seasons and we need to respect them. There will be time to write, time to edit, time to promote and time to rest.

Yes, rest.

Our brains are fertile soil for ideas, for imagination to take root and bloom and produce the good fruits of our genius. But we need to rest. In our Western culture, we are world-renowned for never resting. Yet, we are equally renowned for being morbidly obese and medicated for all kinds of psychiatric disorders. We are renowned for being frazzled, fried and stressed.

Don’t misinterpret what I am saying. I believe that a lot of psychiatric disorders are real, but many of what ails us is due to the go, go, go, go nature of modern society. For hundreds of thousands of years we humans guided our lives by the sun. Artificial light was the glow of a lamp, a fire or a candle.

Yet, now we keep awake using artificial light until the late hours of the night. We artificially wake ourselves using alarm clocks and caffeine. And when we used to sit and rest or nap, we now chug a Monster drink full of herbs we can’t pronounce so we can keep going. We take maybe a week off a year and feel guilty for even that.

It isn’t healthy.

We aren’t balanced. We wear our minds out until we are numb, but the body hasn’t moved all day. We are stressed out and tuckered out and our biggest problem is we have ignored that everything has a season.

Even us.

I find it beautiful how nature is so reflective of how we should be, too. We could take a lesson. Even nature has a season of rest, of dormancy, of hibernation. The dormancy is vital for growth and for life.

When I go to the ranch it is DARK out there. We are so remote, we only have the noise of coyotes or the rattle of insects in the undergrowth. I work hard and find I  go to sleep earlier, sleep deeper, rise with the sun and feel actually rested. I always come home with a new explosion of creativity.

Yet, I still have to remind myself to rest. Just sit. Relax. Don’t…do…anything. Harder than it looks.

I love writers, and I will be the first to kick you in your tails to get you moving (I kick my own tail, too). But today my lesson is different, yet equally important. Take time to rest. To sleep. To just “be.” Go all zen wit’ yuhself!

There is no easy way to success in what we do. Whether we traditionally publish or indie or self-publish, there are NO shortcuts. Publishing success is a lot of work. Those who will succeed are the ones who can do this writing thing day, after day, after day, after day, who can keep blogging and tweeting and writing books and more books and more books even when it looks like nothing is happening. I have been blogging for three and a half years and have almost 800,000 words invested into my career. But I keep showing up, and keep showing up, no matter what.

We have to have endurance to be successful at writing. Whether you listen to Barry Eisler, Joe Konrath, Bob Mayer, Amanda Hocking, H.P. Mallory, James Rollins or Sandra Brown, they will all tell you the same story. Success took work, years of it. 

To have this kind of endurance, we need to get good at resting. And I will tell you, as I have a finger pointed at you, three are pointing back at me. I need a lot of these lessons, too so if you don’t need them, I’ll take them. If I hope to be on top of my game, to keep the word count I keep and do all the things I do and take WANA to the next level (more on that next week), I need to be well rested.

I can’t over-farm the soil. I need to let my mind and my imagination rest.

Lately, I have thrown a lot of intense and deep (and, yes, long) blogs out there. I have so much more to do and say, but I need to rest. I am teaching three classes at the DFW Writers’ Workshop Conference this coming weekend. Please sign up if you haven’t already. This is a WONDERFUL conference and they actually are a very forward-thinking group. They gave me my first break to teach social media and I don’t believe I would be where I am today without them. They are an amazing group and have THE best workshops.

Anyway, conferences are a lot of work and also this surprise I am working on for all of you is a lot of work. So I need a break. I am taking a week off from blogging, so you won’t hear from me (blog-wise) until Wednesday of next week.

Might give y’all a chance to catch up on the recent posts, LOL. Been throwing a lot at you guys, I know. But times are changing and it is all happening so quickly. I work my tail off to make sure you guys are prepared, that you are educated so you can enjoy this Digital Renaissance.

I am taking a few of my closest peeps out to the ranch. No cell phones. No blogs. Just talking, laughing and maybe even get a bit of a tan. Tan fat totally looks better than white fat. I will miss you guys, but you need some rest too.

I will also announce the winners of my contest when I get back.

But, I still love hearing from you. Do you feel guilty about resting? Does taking a vacation make you feel guilty? have you found ways to overcome this? Do you feel like you must always be productive and you wear yourself out?

To prove it and show my love, for the month of May, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner every week for a critique of your first five pages. At the end of May I will pick a winner for the grand prize. A free critique from me on the first 15 pages of your novel. Good luck!

***IMPORTANT MESSAGE–For those who have not gotten back pages. My web site fiasco has been responsible for eating a lot of e-mails. Additionally I get about 400 e-mails a day and the spam folder has a healthy appetite too. It is hard to tell since some people never claim their prize, but I could have very well just not seen your entry. Feel free to e-mail it again and just put CONTEST WINNER in the header so I can spot you easily. (especially if your message is kidnapped by the spam filter).

I also hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer . And both are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in the biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left to write great books.

The Blessings of Social Media

Kristen Lamb (Age 6), Ingrid Schaffenburg (Age 3)

Happy Friday, WANA peeps! I know I’ve been posting a lot of heavy stuff lately, so today something fun light and…short. YAY! My business partner and close friend Ingrid Schaffenburg wrote a really beautiful post about social media and how two women who met over thirty years ago and hadn’t seen each other in 20 years would come together to (hopefully) change the world. And, yeah, her blogs are way shorter than mine.

Take it away Ingrid!

***

Last May, when I decided to move back to my hometown of Fort Worth, a huge priority of mine was reconnecting with old friends. I am a VERY social creature and without my tribe, I am lost. Well not lost, but I would’ve been creeping around Starbucks all day trying to make new friends if I had had none to come home to.

So I started with my trusted few. Close friends I’d known since childhood and some old family friends. But there was one person I just KNEW I wanted to connect with.

A few months prior, a distant acquaintance from high school had friended me on Facebook. And when I say distant I mean we had probably only spoken a handful of times in the halls of our high school. She being a senior and I a freshman, our orbits hardly ever crossed.

So at this point we’d spent, 18 years apart. Living completely separate lives and never entering into each other’s consciousness.

Until Facebook.

And as often happens, by clicking “accept” we gained access to one another’s pages but for the most part, nothing changed. We remained acquaintances.

For several months leading up to my move, I’d see her posts scroll by.

Over and over again, I’d see these posts. And just as The Rule of 7 in advertising states, it started to sink in.

This girl’s a writer. And she’s serious. And she lives in FORT WORTH!

For the rest of Ingrid’s post, and the story how Facebook changed both our lives and the lives of countless artists, go here…..

Have a fabulous weekend and I’ll see all y’all on Monday. Yes, “all y’all” is correct in Texas. I hope you guys will share your comment love over at Ingrid’s place. I still love hearing your thoughts and stories and I will count them for the contest (for details about the contest, just click on Wednesday’s post and scroll to the bottom for anyone new).