Debra Chapoton's Blog - Posts Tagged "grammar"

I am not that old English teacher who carries a red pen and corrects bulletins, brochures and menus. However, I have surreptitiously made corrections on restaurant menu boards (like erasing the “e” on “potatoe”) and even used my fingernail to scrape off a few misused apostrophes from metal signs (they had “dog’s must be on a leash in these area’s”). My biggest pet peeve is the misuse of the apostrophe. Apparently teachers have had to drop that lesson from their plans, probably because they’re asked to do so many non-teaching things.
We tried a new restaurant yesterday and I was impressed that the menu only had two apostrophe errors. One was in a category heading: Sandwiches, Pita’s, Salads. Well, someone got sandwiches and salads right, but thought that (maybe because it’s a foreign word) they needed to use an apostrophe to pluralize pita. I’ve noticed that a lot in other restaurants, especially with the word tacos (and they don’t even have an apostrophe in Spanish!) Many years ago I taught eleven rules of plurals and the only rule that includes an apostrophe is for pluralizing numbers, letters, symbols and words (used as words). Examples: The 1990’s were good years. Cross your t’s and dot your i’s. She wrote &’s instead of and’s.
That’s it for using apostrophes for plurals. They are also used for contractions and possession, but I’ll save that for later. Whew! I got this rant down to under 250 words.

All the time I hear people answer the standard greeting question “Hi, how are you?” with “Good, and yourself?” I want to scream “You! You! It’s ‘how are YOU?’ not ‘yourself!’” What are they going to answer, anyway, ‘myself am fine’? If you are guilty of saying this, please stop. Every foreigner who learns English practices this dialogue: “Hello, how are you?” “I’m fine, thanks. And you?”
Here’s the logic behind reflexive pronouns : they reflect back on the subject. Simply look in the mirror. Who do you see? I see myself. You see yourself. She sees herself. He sees himself (there is no such word as hisself). We see ourselves (yes, it’s plural, never singular). They see themselves (again no such word as theirself, theirselves or themself). You would never say “I see herself” or “He sees myself”.
People have stopped using reflexive pronouns when they should be using them. For example, a certain talk show host might ask, “What are you going to do for YOU?” Because he’s emphasizing the word and trying to make a point we ignore the error, but try saying it without the emphasis and you’ll notice the mistake.
Many people have started using reflexives when they need a subject or object pronoun. Two examples: John and Mary and myself will all be glad to help you. Think, think, think. You wouldn’t say ‘myself will be glad’, it’s ‘I will be glad’. Always check what your sentence would be without the other subjects. This means thinking before you speak . . . hmm, interesting concept. Another type of mistake is substituting the reflexive pronoun for an object pronoun (me, him, her, them, us) in a sentence like “Send those forms to my secretary or myself.” Leave out the secretary and see what you would say.
Quiz:
1. I’m going to buy (me, myself) one of those new cell phones.
2. I’m having a blast. And (you, yourself)?
3. Did you want to know who’s going to the party? Well, just my kids, my spouse and (me, myself, I).
4. Please contact either Janie or (me, myself, I) at this number.
Correct answers are
I’m going to buy myself one of those new cell phones.
I’m having a blast. And you? (Are you having a blast?)
Well, just my kids, my spouse and I (are going to the party).
Please contact either Janie or me at this number. (contact me)