Zachary Ricks's Blog, page 17

Trust30 – #26 – The Integrity Of Your Mind

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. If we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The question for today had something about being alive. When was the last time you felt alive, what did you feel, what did you smell, etc… Again, it's maybe an interesting question, being able to go back and search and feel those and call upon that experience when you're writing or working. I don't really see what that has to do with the Emerson quote. I feel alive as I'm writing these posts. But enough about that. Let's talk a little about the integrity of your own mind. You need to watch your inputs.

Everyone talks about the computer analogy here. Garbage in, garbage out. It's apt, and probably has more truth in it than we realize. I personally prefer the words of Qui-Gon Jinn in Star Wars Episode I.

Your focus determines your reality.

In order to address the problems and concerns that face us and our families, in order to come up with the right solutions, we need to see things clearly. We need to be focused on the right things. Focused on the truth. Clinging to that rod. It all comes back to that analogy.

Like I said the other day, you do need to be careful of clinging too much to the analogy, and not enough to the principle the analogy represents. That was my problem. I was so fixated on the idea of there being one path for me to follow that I lost sight of the freedom that in reality lay all around me. I can choose my own course. I can make a mistake. And never once let go of the rod.

Don't fall into the trap of being so in love with an analogy that you lose sight of the principle the analogy is attempting to communicate. Don't mistake the image for the substance. Don't mistake sizzle for steak. Don't mistake glitter for gold. Which means… watch your inputs. Because you have to be able to think and see clearly. You have to be able to discern.

I was talking with my wife tonight about Babylon 5 (Ooooooh, aren't you sorry you don't live in MY house?). I have heard J. Michael Straczynski say that B5 is about two questions. They get asked over and over.

Who are you?

What do you want?

Who are you? Do you know? Have you decided? Is your decision based on a realistic appraisal of your talents, strengths, weaknesses, foibles, natural predilections? If someone asked you right now to describe yourself, how would you answer? Think about it. What does it mean? I usually start by saying "I am an Idaho farm boy." What does that mean? It says something about the place I grew up, which helped shape me. It says something about the things I saw my family do, which helped shape me. You look at my twitter profile, and the first thing it says is "I get into and out of trouble daily." I have a curious nature, and it's gotten me into trouble more than once. Things usually work out, though. And don't get me started on C.S. Lewis and how HE keeps getting me into trouble (which is the first thing you see in the "About Me" section of my Facebook profile). Who Are You? That's part of the truth you need to cling to. Look hard. And have an answer.

What do you want? What do you really want? Be honest with yourself. Accept the admirable and the base things that you want. Accept that you want them. (I want a Nintendo 3DS, and as of this writing I am a 38 year old man). Then choose what you will actually pursue. What is your priority? What is important to you? And what are you willing to do / sacrifice / go without in order to obtain that thing? How hard are you willing to work? Are you willing to be honest about your actions and intentions? Or is the image you project the thing that you hold most dear? Is it mere popularity you want? Or an avoidance of pain? Everyone wants those things to some extent. That's all right. It's okay. Accept that you want it. What else is in there? Be serious. Ask the question. What Do You REALLY Want? Not right now. Not tomorrow. Not in the moment. Not what everyone else wants. Not what everyone else wants for you. Not what it SEEMS like everyone else wants. What do YOU want? Figure it out. And then pursue it. And know it's something you're pursuing because You Want It. Period. You don't have to justify this to me or to anyone else. You do have to honestly assess what you want. And once that's done, press forward.

People get confused about image and substance. About illusion and truth. I thought I wanted to follow that one true path through life which Solla-Sollew-like, would give me no troubles, at least very few. And I realize now that this is an unrealistic expectation. It's not based on truth. It's not based on reality. What I want is the fruit. I want what's at the end of the process. And knowing what's at the end of the process allows me to enjoy the journey. They say that the journey is the important part. That's true. But people typically don't go on a journey without having a destination. The journey for its own sake is aimless, purposeless. Fruitless.

Know who you are. Who am I? What are my principles? Where will I go and where will I not? How will I treat others? How do I expect to be treated in return?

Know what you want. Where am I going? Why? What's at the end of this path? Am I willing to accept the challenges, misteps and mistakes to get to the end?

Once you're there – once you've got that clear focus, then the question becomes… can I hold that vision in my mind? Can I press forward no matter the obstacle? Can I hold to the rod – to a clear assessment of truth, weighed, measured, analyzed, and accepted… and get to the tree?

Can I?

Can you?

Who are you? And what do you want?

Trust30 – #25 – The Recipe (not) to Follow

I do not wish to expiate, but to live. My life is for itself and not for a spectacle. I much prefer that it should be of a lower strain, so it be genuine and equal, than that it should be glittering and unsteady. I wish it to be sound and sweet, and not to need diet and bleeding. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Think about the type of person you'd NEVER want to be 5 years from now. Write out your own personal recipe to prevent this from happening and commit to following it. "Thought is the seed of action."

(Author: Harley Schreiber)

I never planned on being the kind of person who worries. I used to look forward to each day with a kind of happy enthusiasm that lately seems to escape me. I had a conversation last night when I asked my wife if I was trying to take on too much, and she responded "You've already taken on too much." And then "I don't think there's anything I can do to help you not to worry and stress out so much." It's not a very healthy way to live, and the weight I've put on over the last year is probably due, at least in part, to worry.

A year ago, I was working in a job where I was desperately unhappy. We had anticipated some growth that didn't come, and I had been looking forward to a promotion that seemed ever further and further from my grasp. And in the course of that, it occurred to me that I wasn't all that crazy about the job in the first place, and that a promotion was not necessarily going to solve any of my problems.

And then I was invited to resign. In a way, it was the best thing that could have happened, because it broke me out of a rut. It's still not the way I wanted to get out. And my history with job hunting has not been the sort to really fill me with confidence that I'd be able to find something quickly – I'm not very good at it.

It's been a crazy year since then. Between FIP and the new day job, and my volunteer work, and the drive to write, and podcasting, and the time I spend in church functions, there is an awful lot on my plate. And I worry about it. I worry about my daughter and how we're going to get her into college. I worry about my family and how we're going to pay for things. I worry about my student loan debt.

I worry about my health. I worry that I'm not writing enough. I worry that I'm not getting any exercise and my already too large middle is getting even bigger. Yesterday as I was walking around work, my suspenders kept popping off my pants. That was a little mortifying. And I worried about it.

I worry about my day job, about my ability to do the things that are being asked of me. I worry about whether something's going to slip between the cracks, or if I'm going to give bad advice, or if I'm going to be asked to do something that I'm not comfortable with because I'm an attorney and attorneys are supposed to do X or Y.

I worry about FIP, and whether we'll ever be able to make it the kind of success I believe it can be.

I worry about my wife's happiness, and what I can do to help her out with her business. (She's a realtor. Anyone need to buy or sell property here in the Austin area?) I worry about not being able to provide a good living for the family.

I worry about us not having more than one child, and if there's something wrong with me.

I worry about the economy, about the direction the country is headed in, and that feeds back into the worry about how I'm going to be able to provide for my family.

I worry about my standing with God. Am I reading my scriptures? How's my prayer? Am I trying to do what's right? Am I succeeding?

Always something. There's always something new to worry about.

And I worry that I'll never be able to stop worrying.

If there's one thing I want to be in five years, it's the kind of person who does not worry. Who presses forward with faith and hope. Who looks on the bright side. If only I could stop worrying about whether or not that's possible…

Trust30 – #24 – The Call to Arms

The secret of fortune is joy in our hands. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

What if today, right now, no jokes at all, you were actually in charge, the boss, the Head Honcho. Write the "call to arms" note you're sending to everyone (staff, customers, suppliers, Board) charting the path ahead for the next 12 months and the next 5 years. Now take this manifesto, print it out somewhere you can see, preferably in big letters you can read from your chair.

You're just written your own job description. You know what you have to do. Go!

(bonus: send it to the CEO with the title "The things we absolutely have to get right – nothing else matters.")

(Author: Sasha Dichter)

Welcome to my world. As the Managing Editor of FlagShip, and a co-founder of Flying Island Press, the team looks to me for guidance. This prompt is a good excuse for me to sit down and do just that – chart out the next 12 months, and the next five years. What is that going to look like? Heh.

Good question. I've been treating the Trust30 challenge as a personal issue – something to improve my own writing, and clarify my own plans for the future. But it's probably time to expand that focus just a bit. In the meantime I have something to say about the path, and joy, and freedom.

I've been talking a lot here about the path, the rod, and the tree. It's a useful analogy, but like any analogy, it can be misinterpreted. For the longest time, I had in my head the idea that there is only one true path – one best course of action that would take us through our lives, and get the best possible ending. Yes, I know. I was thinking of life as though it was a SNES Japanese RPG, a la Chrono Trigger (best game EVER – and available for the Nintendo DS). But while it is necessary and right to cling to truth, to walk toward the tree, we do have a surprising amount of freedom.

But the Talmud cautions that when a man dies, he will be called to account for all the unenjoyed, permitted pleasures of this life, which, after all, were given to him as a gift.

Mamet, David (2011). The Secret Knowledge: On the Dismantling of American Culture (p. 57). Sentinel. Kindle Edition.

That which is not forbidden is permitted. And men are that they might have joy. The number one thing I need to do is to look for the joy in my work. A call to arms for myself is to find that joy. It's there. We have the capacity to enjoy the work we do. Break that down. En-Joy. To put joy INTO what we are doing. If I'm doing the right work, it's definitely there. If I'm doing the work the right way, I'm putting the joy INTO it. And when other people see it, if I've done it right, a sense of that joy – that professional pride – that pleasure in placing the right word in the right place for the desired effect – will come through. It's just as important for a lawyer as it is for a storyteller… or a blogger…

Where is the joy in your work?

Trust30 – #23 – Your Ordinary

I'm catching up on my Trust30 writing while I'm in the waiting room of a local hospital. I'm all right, here for a friend. But it's a chance to get some writing done here and so you may see a BUNCH of these today. Playing catchup.

Good and bad are but names very readily transferable to that or this; the only right is what is after my constitution, the only wrong what is against it. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are our most potent at our most ordinary. And yet most of us discount our "ordinary" because it is, well, ordinary. Or so we believe. But my ordinary is not yours. Three things block us from putting down our clever and picking up our ordinary: false comparisons with others (I'm not as good a writer as _____), false expectations of ourselves (I should be on the NYTimes best seller list or not write at all), and false investments in a story (it's all been written before, I shouldn't bother). What are your false comparisons? What are your false expectations? What are your false investments in a story? List them. Each keep you from that internal knowing about which Emerson writes. Each keeps you from making your strong offer to the world. Put down your clever, and pick up your ordinary.

(Author: Susan Piver)

Today's question seems particularly apt. One of my own challenges is that of comparison. I'm not as ________ as that guy, my writing isn't as good as ___________, Only a couple people really make a living at their writing, and I'm not as good as them… that kind of thing. I still think that. I should be better. Of course, you never get better if you don't try, and you won't get better if you're afraid of making mistakes. You'll do your best work if you're not worried about doing the work and you just do the work. Does that make sense?

Geek Survival Guide was something like that. I thought it was occasionally funny, and enjoyed doing it, but it wasn't a huge deal. Then I got to this last year's Balticon, and it was a lot of Man, you killed Geek Survival Guide? That was SO AWESOME! That was BRILLIANT! And my reaction basically consisted of "Ummmm… thanks?" You don't know what's going to catch on. You don't know how other people will react to your work, You might think it's brilliant and others will think "ho hum". And your "I can't believe I'm putting this dreck out there" may be someone else's "that was AWESOME!" You just don't know.

So don't worry about it.

Oh, do your best. I've been going to a local writer's group, and that's helped my own work. I've been reading other people's fiction, and that helps my own work. And I know I need characters, conflicts, good structure, etc. At the end of the day, I'm going to do my best, and put it out there, and see what happens.

There's also always a responsibility to work on developing your craft. You can't fall into the trap of thinking that everything you do is totally awesome and people should just love it. That's why you have a Mom. Well, most Moms will do that for you. You need to be open to critique. The good thing there is, if you pay attention to it, and follow it, chances are that your ordinary becomes better and better. I guess it comes down to deliberate practice. I'm not 100% sure how to apply that in writing, the way you would in, say football or other athletics, but it's got to be there someplace.

The Japanese have a concept – kaizen – it's a drive to improve incrementally. Just 1% per day. Maybe even a half a percent. And if you can do that, over time, you get better and better, until you're 100% better. Maybe more efficient. Maybe your dialog has improved, or your characterization, or your ability to evoke a setting or an emotion. A little bit. Every day.

Kaizen, peeps.

Trust30 – #22 – Intuition

The secret of fortune is joy in our hands. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you could picture your intuition as a person, what would he or she look like? If you sat down together for dinner, what is the first thing he or she would tell you?

(Author: Susan Piver)

Back on the #Trust30 stick today. Intuition. I don't think of my intuition as a separate part of myself. But if I did, and we sat down to dinner together, I imagine the first thing he'd say would be along the lines of "Boy, you sure have a hard time listening to me, huh?"

Part of that is allowing time. You need enough mental space to allow that still small voice to come in and whisper. And in today's society, particularly lately, available cycles have been hard to come by. We need to be able to slow down, take some time, and process things. I've been grateful for the chance to do that here. I don't know that it's been useful for anyone else, but it's helped to crystallize my thinking a bit. And in writing, I think I get flashes of inspiration, if not intuition. I think they're related, if not exactly the same. In the non-fiction writing, I get understanding. And in the fiction – hoo – the subconscious starts seeding ideas that you don't know exactly what they mean. You know they're important, but you don't know why. You go with it, and eventually you figure it out, and then you sit back and say something along the lines of "Man, I am one smart/twisted/insane (insert term of endearment HERE)"

While I was living in the Philippines, I had a situation where I needed to re-negotiate a lease with an apartment owner. We had a couple of missionaries living in a place that needed some repairs, and it was my job to work things out with the apartment owner. I remember telling my missionary companion "I'm going to negotiate the heck out of this. I'm going to play them like a fish. Just you watch." Then we sat down across from this poor lady, and I took one look at her, and paused. About two seconds later I found myself saying "We're going to be ending our lease with you. We'll be out of the apartment by X. Thank you very much." And I stood up, and we left. My companion laughed about it, and I felt embarrassed, but it felt like the right thing to do.

A couple of days ago I had a flash of an idea – an inspiration – that will hopefully start taking shape here in the months to come. Right now, it's all about getting the cycles.

Hey, a new issue of FlagShip will be out in a few days. Maybe you should mosey over to www.flyingislandpress.com and take a look at the things we're doing over there.

Being unpopular

In 2004, I was attending law school in Portland, OR, at what apparently is one of the most liberal law schools in the country. And I was a conservative who voted for George W. Bush. The day after the 2004 election was… odd. It was like a funeral. Everyone was so freaked out. And I couldn't celebrate. I couldn't even smile about it. I had people who saw me coming, and said to my face "I can't talk to you today." And then they turned and left. It was one of the weirdest experiences I've ever had.

These were people I loved and respected, and didn't necessarily associate with politics. It just wasn't part of my calculus. But it was made very clear to me that there are people out there for whom the politics was very important as to who they would or would not associate with. And now I'm really conflicted. I've been writing all month about integrity, pressing forward on the path, being who you are, etc. In the process, I've been very open about my faith, my perspective, and my starting premises. So it shouldn't come as a huge shock that I think that the vote of NY to allow same sex marriage is, while not altogether surprising, maybe a little disappointing.

And I guess that to some people that makes me a horrible person, a hater, and a bigot. I realize this is an unpopular position to take in today's culture. And it would have been very easy to just keep my mouth shut and my head down. I've done that plenty of times. But given everything I've been writing this month during the #Trust30 challenge, it would be hypocritical of me to do so in this case. So last night on Twitter and Facebook, I posted something that expressed my feelings on the matter, and the thought that apparently having that opinion makes me a bigot and a hater. A couple of people were kind enough to ask for a little clarification on what I thought about the issue. And I suppose this is as good a place as any to do some explication on the subject.

It's not that other people were happy that same-sex marriage passed that prompted this response, and I wish those people who will be taking advantage of the law good luck with their families. No – it wasn't the celebration. It was the belief that I saw expressed multiple times that anyone who thought differently must be operating from the basis of hate, must be an unthinking, reactionary bigot, unworthy to engage in conversation. I saw plenty of people saying that they were dropping people from their network because they were disappointed or upset that same sex marriage passed in NY. To those people – the ones who are using that as a litmus test for their social networks – the sound you're hearing is my slow clap celebrating the public demise of your much-vaunted tolerance. So much for that, eh?

Now, to really justify you dropping me from Twitter, Facebook, or whatever…

First and foremost, my objection is largely informed by my faith. I make no secret of my membership in and participation in the LDS church. It's on my Twitter and Facebook profiles. I've mentioned it here explicitly. I think it's fairly obvious to anyone who would care to look. I'm a Mormon. And I don't and won't apologize for that. My church teaches, and I believe, that homosexual behavior is immoral. Not all Mormons agree on same-sex marriage. I'm sure I know some who wouldn't mind it being the law of the land across the country. But I feel very comfortable saying that those are the exception, not the rule.

Now, to some people, that apparently is "religious silliness". Thanks for respecting me and my beliefs. To me, those are beliefs that I hold sacred, that inform my actions on a day to day basis, that inform how I treat my family and my friends, my work and my co-workers, and everyone and everything else I come in contact with. It informs my writing. And if you're not cool with that, fine. You don't have to be and I'm not going to try to make you accept it. But remember that these are things that are deeply important to me. I don't make fun of your atheism or agnosticism or whatever. I don't think it's out of line for me to request – even expect – the same tolerance.

Now, a quick word about tolerance. Tolerance is not the same as acceptance, and it sure as hell isn't the same as approval. Tolerance means putting up with something I find inappropriate or distasteful or even morally repugnant. I grew up downwind from a chicken farm. I tolerated it. It was something I had little to no control over. I learned to accept it. But I did not approve of it, and I think most people understand the concept when put that way. If same-sex marriage winds up becoming the law here in Texas (which would take a Constitutional amendment – not impossible, but not easy), then I suppose I could and would learn to tolerate it. But don't expect me to approve.

A few people have said that this doesn't affect my marriage (or their marriage) and that therefore people who object should not have an opinion on the matter. Meanwhile, they also say that they approve of the move, and congratulate the State of New York in making it… thereby demonstrating that even though they claim not to be affected by it, they have an opinion on the matter. Incidentally, this strikes me as being a not-very-flattering indication of the logical thought process people put into this argument. But this was never a logical argument in the first place. It's an emotional one. Regular rules of thought and argument simply do not apply. My position is a priori incorrect, and now it's just a matter of pointing out a) how wrong I am and b) casting assumptions as to how I got to be so wrong. (This is where the bigot, homophobe, radical language comes in.) It's Bulverism. And I hate Bulverism.

I have opinions on lots of things that don't really affect me. They vary widely in importance. I have opinions on the relative merits of the Star Wars films, on the way the Federation is depicted in Star Trek, and on the writings of Jim Butcher. (Empire rocked, the Federation creeps me out, and Jim Butcher is a cruel, cold-hearted, sadistic bastard to his characters – and I LOVE HIM FOR THAT.) I have opinions on human rights abuses in China and on what's going on in Libya. None of those things really affect me all that much. But everyone is okay with me having an opinion on them. It's not the fact that I have an opinion that seems to be the problem. It's that my opinion differs from the accepted script. And therefore I must be wrong. And not just wrong, but unworthy to participate in conversation with right thinking people. And if that's your criteria, then let me thank you up front for removing me from your social media network.

Now, as far as it not affecting me or affecting my marriage, I respectfully disagree. It affects the culture. I'm a part of the culture. Therefore, it affects me. It informs the next generation of how we think about and the importance we put on marriage and family. And that affects me. It makes it more difficult for me to teach my daughter and pass on the values that I hold most dear – even sacred. And that affects me. I have no idea what all of the effects could be. No one does. That doesn't mean that they aren't there.

Right now, it's acceptable to make fun of people who are members of my church. It's acceptable to protest outside our meetings and spray graffiti on our places of worship. It's okay to write Broadway musicals that mock and denigrate and belittle the things that I hold sacred. And it's not okay for me to stand up for what I believe in.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but doesn't that seem a little intolerant?

Trust30 – #21 – Integrity

Men imagine that they communicate their virtue or vice only by overt actions, and do not see that virtue or vice emit a breath every moment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The question for this post had something to do with reaching out to someone and connecting with them. And I'm sorry, but that's not what I want to talk about. Besides, I've already done that fairly recently.

What I do want to talk about is integrity – Being Yourself no matter the circumstances, no matter the pressure, no matter the Resistance.

It's the old joke from Buckaroo Banzai – no matter where you go, there you are. It's the one thing you can never take a vacation from (unless you're Arnold Schwarzenegger, and even then not really. Did you know Jerry Goldsmith totally believes that the end of that movie is Arnold having a psychotic embolism and never waking up? I know!).

But it's Friday, and I'm frankly in too good a mood to really go crazy ranting (Goldsmith's obvious delusion aside), so – let me clarify my thinking on a couple of things.

Thing #1 – You decide who you are. Now, who I decide I am is naturally going to be different from who you decide you are. And there is such a thing as natural inclinations, natural strengths, preferences, personality differences, inherent talents, etc. I am not a believer that babies are blank slates. Queso started showing personality traits VERY early on. And I've been around enough babies to know that babies are different. What do we ascribe that to? Doesn't matter. That they are different is enough, and that we are different is enough, and so my decision as to who I am and will be will not and should not exactly mirror who you are. It should and probably will reflect your natural talents, strengths, and preferences anyway, so don't worry too much about it. Just retain enough critical thinking and self-awareness to judge if things are working or not.

Thing #2 – You can change your mind. If you decide you're going to be a certain kind of person, and it's not working out? As Arbiter Of All Things Anime (seriously. Apparently someone on twitter said I was, and I am SO OWNING THAT), you are Hereby Formally Granted Permission To Change Your Mind. Law School wasn't really on my list of priorities, and everyone thought it would be a good idea, so I took the test, and what do you know? I actually enjoyed it! Changing your mind doesn't mean that you've lost your integrity.

Thing #3 – You are allowed to make mistakes. Integrity doesn't mean never screwing up. We're human, and the human condition is one of sorrow, tragedy, loss, and screwing-things-up-ness. Of course, there's also wonder, love, joy, redemption, and a whole host of other things that are absolutely brilliant. Integrity is an aspirational virtue – an asymptotic line we may never cross completely (at least not in this existence), but it's one we should be constantly striving towards. People may see someone who espouses a course of action but does not successfully follow it as a hypocrite. If they're not even trying to walk the talk, then yeah. Sure. That's probably appropriate. But if they are trying to walk the path, then they are no hypocrite. They are human. As are we all.

Thing #4 – You are in charge. You determine what goes on in your head. You don't like it? Change the channel. Focus on something else. Sometimes people may have something physically or chemically going on, and if that's happening to you, do something about it. But most people have the ability to change the channel. Music can help with that. It's one of the reasons I walk around with the iPod and I always have a little Junior Brown handy in case I need to hear "You're Wanted By The Police And My Wife Thinks You're Dead". Seriously. Try to listen to that song and not have a smile on your face at the end of it. Oh, sure, some people prefer "Highway Patrol" or "Venom Wearin' Denim", but as far as I'm concerned, nothing beats the mood-turning power of YWBTPAMWTYD. Po-leece.

Thing #4 – So, what is integrity? Not intentionally or knowingly misleading others (or yourself). Can a man be a fool and still have integrity? Is he a willing fool? Is he taking the time to do some research, to examine his thoughts and positions? To try and test his unspoken assumptions about the way the world works? Maybe someone is well meaning and just wrong. I'm not comfortable saying that person is a liar. They were just mistaken. (Incidentally, that's what I usually fall back on when people I know castigate their political enemies on either side. You really think that person is evil? You're not willing to give them the benefit of the doubt that they just see the world differently, have differing starting premises? Really? I've done that plenty of times for people who attack Democrats as well as those who attack Republicans, as I consider myself neither.)

And that's probably heady enough for a Friday afternoon. Remember. It's pronounced Po-leece.

Trust30 – #20 – Holding Fast

Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm." is a great line from Emerson. If there's no enthusiasm in what you do, it won't be remarkable and certainly won't connect with people on an emotional basis. But, if you put that magic energy into all of your work, you can create something that touches people on a deeper level. How can you bring MORE enthusiasm into your work? What do you have to think or believe about your work to be totally excited about it? Answer it now.

(Author: Mars Dorian)

Passion. Passion waxes and wanes. Enthusiasm waxes and wanes. How do we protect, nurture and develop our enthusiasm, our focus, and our passion for the work? How do we develop hope? Some might say "By doing the work," but I don't think that's enough. It's necessary, but it's not enough to sustain under the corrosive influence of Resistance. I don't know. I'm definitely not an expert on this, it's something I struggle with all the time. But since I discover what I think by writing, here's a chance for us all to find out what I think might be a good idea on this front. Especially since I had an idea that literally stopped me in my tracks yesterday. I've been working on figuring out the logistics of how to pull it off ever since, and am hitting the first waves of Resistance.

I don't want this to die. I want this to kick ungodly amounts of butt. How do I do that?

The first thing is to sharpen my focus. I want to create as vivid a mental picture in my head as I possibly can of the goal. That helps me define when I'm getting closer, helps me figure out what steps I need to take in order to get there, and how I'll know when I'm done. If it helps, I should probably write down the who, what, where, when, and how. That helps from a logistical and tactical perspective. What about the emotional aspect? What about the drive, the enthusiasm, the passion? Hope comes from why. What I really want to say here is that capital-H Hope has to come from a place of truth. I can't substantiate that statement. I can't prove it by pointing at empirical data. It feels right. But the only way to prove this one is by trying to live it. Try new things, seek new uplifting experiences, right? This is an ongoing process.

I think that I also need something that's an emotional touchstone. Inspiration comes from various places, and one of the places that I look to for inspiration is music. I think back to my writing, and one of the things that helped me when I wrote my first NaNoWriMo novel (the sci-fi/Shaw Bros kung-fu mashup) is music. I had a playlist of songs that I used to get my head and my heart into the writing space. And that's important. The kind of good work that I want to do is going to require that my head and heart be aligned, and moving together. I know that I'm going to run into obstacles on the new project, and may hit discouragement and disappointment. So I understand up front the need to manage my own emotional state to do this work, and good music will help me do that.

There's also a physical energy component to enthusiasm. It's difficult to be enthusiastic if you're worn out. A certain amount of physical exercise (yes, I know) and taking care of one's self is going to be a component.

Mental. Emotional. Physical. That's a good start, I think.

Social? Is it a good idea to share your enthusiasm with other people, with the thought that enthusiasm begets enthusiasm? Maybe. If you have a supportive family, or other people who inspire you, hang out with them. Cultivate good relationships.

Spiritual? For those of us who believe and practice a religion, we can seek for the guidance, inspiration and help of a higher power. Prayer helps. (Also, scripture can be a really fascinating source of story inspiration.)

What am I missing?

Trust30 – #19 – Trust and Authority

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. Absolve you to yourself, and you shall have the suffrage of the world. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

We live in a society of advice columns, experts and make-over shows. Without even knowing it, you can begin to believe someone knows better than you how to live your life. Someone might know a particular something better – like how to bake a three-layer molten coconut chocolate cake or how to build a website – but nobody else on the planet knows how to live your life better than you. (Although one or two people may think they do.) For today, trying asking yourself often, especially before you make a choice, "What do I know about this?"

(Author: Jen Louden)

Yes, I'm passing judgment on these discussion questions, and I deem this one… all right. IF we're willing to accept some basic premises that some people in today's post-modern, deconstructionalist, semiotics-obsessed culture may not be very happy with. 

SO. What are your starting premises? Are you aware of them? I know I've mentioned some of my own starting premises before, but let me state a couple of them here so they're explicit. If we're willing to accept these as being true, and I think Emerson might have agreed in principle with at least some of this, then I'm willing to accept Emerson's statement.

1. I believe in objective reality. That there is an objective universe. I am not a brain in a jar. The world is not some sort of illusion. Yes, I'm perfectly aware of Plato's parable of the cave, and there are probably some people out there shaking their heads at my lack of enlightenment and not understanding that everyone's viewpoint is equally valid. (That is, if anyone was actually READING this, there quite possibly would be.) I understand that there are people who don't accept that. I might humbly point out that in so doing they invalidate their assertion that everyone's viewpoint is equally valid – because my viewpoint is held as invalid. We're all equal, but some are more equal than others, I suppose. It's the old canard "We need to be tolerant of everyone. Except the intolerant." And then the definition of tolerance / intolerance becomes meaningless because of postmodernism and everyone decides what words mean on their own and suddenly we've lost language and no one can communicate with anyone else and… and now I'm ranting about the nature of objective reality. Go read The Gods of the Copybook Headings. I'm with Kipling. Water will certainly wet us, and Fire will certainly burn, and I don't care what your perspective is on that – those are objectively true things.

2. Because there is objective reality, I choose to believe that I can observe it with a reasonable degree of certainty. The cup I'm drinking out of is blue. I call it blue, but the wavelength of the light can be measured and described with  a reasonable degree of mathematical certainty. What I'm drinking is water. It has a chemical formula. Observation, description, with a reasonable degree of accuracy. It's the basis of science. Once you deny objective reality, you deny science. (Getting back to me being more of a Newtonian than a quantum mechanics guy, but… you know… in my defense, I am pretty big. Ha! Physics jokes.) And if there is objective reality for the tangible, I take a leap of faith and say that there is an objective reality for the spiritual also. That there is such a thing as honor, integrity, valor, and that these things are to be desired. (Maybe I am a little quantum in that regard. I'm a little bit quantum… I'm a little bit rocks that roll… Ha! Donnie and Marie jokes.)

3. So, because I believe that there is an objective reality, and I believe that I can observe it with a reasonable degree of certainty, I believe that I am capable of discovering if things are true or not.

And THAT is where I think I agree with Emerson. No one else can live my life, and I'm the one who's going to decide what to do. HOW do I decide? I observe. I test. I try things out. Not everything I try will be true.

BUT that doesn't mean that I immediately therefore must reject anyone else's viewpoint and only go off of what's in my head. Not building on the knowledge of those who've come before us is (not to put too fine a point on it) stupid. If there's literature out there that tells me how to be happier, more successful, more able, more whatever it is I want to be, I'm going to go out there and look for it. I don't have to invent trigonometry. I can study it, test to see if it works, and then start using it. Same with chemistry. Same with physics. Same, I might argue, for some of the arts. And part of that includes writing. I'm going to study what other people have done and said, and maybe I'm not studying the people who you're studying. So what? At the end of the day, the one who decides if it fits has to be me. What do I base that "fit" on? Simple. Does It Match Up With Reality, and Does It Work? Not to say that there aren't intangible considerations to make like Is it honest, honorable, etc. (I am so refraining from running through all eight virtues of the Avatar right now – Ultima IV, peeps. Next to Chrono Trigger, one of the best games ever.)

Now, one of the things that the people shaking their heads up there are going to point at and say "Ah HA! We knew he was a (pick your intelligence denigrating remark and insert it HERE)" is that I happen to be a pretty big fan of Glenn Beck. Yes, That Glenn Beck. And one thing that Glenn always says as he's talking about the end of the world as we know it is "Don't Take My Word For Any Of This. Don't trust me. Go Do Your Own Homework." And that in and of itself is probably the best advice anyone could give. Trust, but verify. (Here's where I would normally say that there are things Glenn says that drive me up the frickin' wall. Like the time he went off about Machine of Death? Not really knowing what it was? Yeah. That was a little embarrassing for me as a listener and a fan.)

I've been reading The Secret Knowledge, by David Mamet, and yes that is an Amazon Affiliate Link, and Mr. Mamet has not very nice things to say about Life Coaches. In that regard, I think he and Emerson would probably pretty much agree. But I don't for an instant think that Emerson would say you throw out Aristotle. Emerson would probably say "It doesn't matter that everyone else is throwing out Aristotle. The only one who decides if YOU are throwing away Aristotle is YOU." Which brings me back to the tree. (That's #11 again.)

I've said a couple of times that we get to the tree – we reach that which is desirable to make one happy – but we still have to face Resistance. What Resistance? We're there! We're at the tree, and we're eating the fruit. What's the Resistance now? Sartre was not quite right. Hell isn't other people. Resistance is other people.

And Pressfield points it out. In Do the Work, Pressfield says that one of the biggest obstacles you have to overcome to Do Your Work (besides rational thought – we'll get to that later, I imagine) is your own family and friends. You're going to have people who want you to do other things – who want you to conform to their image of what your work is and what you should be doing. Perhaps that person is a life coach. (I still don't understand what a life coach does. Stand by you and say… "LIVE! Good job. Now take a lap"?) There will be people who mock and belittle and put pressure on you to conform to them. You can only listen to that for so long before it starts to wear on you. And if you pay too much attention to it, eventually you toss the fruit, go wandering off, and then what?

When Emerson says to hold the integrity of your mind sacred, I think he at least in part is saying "Don't let anyone make up your mind for you. Make up your own mind, and once it's made up, stick with it." Or as Churchill said, "Never give in. Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never. In nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in, save to convictions of honor and good sense." (emphasis mine. And I'm paraphrasing).

Trust that you have the ability to discern good from evil. It's a synthesis of those three starting premises I outlined above. Incidentally, I use the word evil on purpose. It's another word those head shakers don't like, but it's just as real as good. And letting yourself not do your work because of Resistance or whatever? I think that qualifies. It doesn't have to be Big Evil. Small evil is still evil.

Listen. Explore. Study. Press Forward. And don't pay attention to the head shakers. I'm not going to say anything more than that. If you're Doing It, don't pay attention to the naysayers, the critics, and others who say you're doing it wrong. Is It Working? Is It Honorable? Go Then And Do That Thing Which Works And Is Honorable.

O be wise, what can I say more?

Trust30 – #18 – Duty

What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule, equally arduous in actual and in intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder, because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know I. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The question's author once received a fortune cookie that read: "Speak less of your plans, you'll get more done." Which goes against some people's advice regarding accountability. I like accountability. I prefer the maxim "Performance which is measured is performance that improves." It's one of the reasons I like the iPhone app LoseIt. It lets people know how I'm doing on my goals. It's also a part of what I'm thinking of doing with my own writing.

If you look to the right of this post on your computer, you'll see that there's a word counter there – a progress report on my writing of the manuscript I'm working on right now. Project Ghost Bear is a high fantasy story dealing with issues of family, duty, responsibility, and magic. It explores issues like our relationship with the environment, and good government. And I hope it will do so in a new and unique way – a fresh view from someone who grew up as a farm kid in Idaho. Will it be successful in the way that I've defined success earlier? Will It Sell?

Heck. I don't know. I'm going to write the best I can, edit the living bejeebers out of it, and put it out.

The problem the question writer is hitting above is this: Are you all talk and no walk? Are you talking about your plans and never following through? Will Ghost Bears ever actually get finished? Is the talking about writing getting in the way of the writing itself – is your constant planning and honing actually becoming Resistance?

In my case, I hope not. And it's up to me to create a plan that makes the accountability part of the motivation to Get Writing. And that will require… Accountability. I'm still cooking the plan up in my head, but I think I can put together a plan that will do that – make me accountable, get me writing, afford me feedback on what I'm doing, etc., etc., etc… And then the only thing in my way is a potential lack of writing talent (which I'm going to acknowledge as a possibility), and fear of actually committing to the plan. One of those can be overcome with practice. The other is Resistance, which is always with us. Even after we make it to the tree.

And I realize that the ultimate goal is that if it's a duty, it's something that's so ingrained in us that we naturally do it whether or not anyone else is around. I'm perfectly happy to admit that I'm not there yet. I'll get there. IF I shut up about the plan, grab the truth, and press forward.