Ad Hudler's Blog, page 42

Hey, where'd all the water go?

I just returned from a trip to one of my former teenage and childhood haunts, Bonny Reservoir, north of Burlington, Colorado. And I'm still in shock. The mighty Bonny Reservoir had become Bonny Lake ... and it's bordering on becoming Bonny Pond.

Yep, the state government has been draining it to satisfy some weird water contract that Colorado has with Kansas. If the rivers that flow out of Colorado don't' have enough water to satisfy Kansas, I guess Kansas can say, "Hey, just give us the water in

Journey to the Land of Ahh's

Hopped across the border yesterday, into Kansas, to visit my cousin Debbie:

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As you can see, she is a big Elvis fan. In fact, she is also an Elvis impersonator and has agreed to give my family a private performance next Thanksgiving when we return to eastern Colorado for Turkey Day.

She lives in Goodland, home of this INCREDIBLE SIGHT:

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Yes, it's the WORLD'S LARGEST VAN GOGH PAINTING. (Not painted by the artist himself, incidentally.) Seriously, folks, this is BIG. Note the pickup parked beneath it.

How to Frighten Birds

I'm visiting my mom and dad in my hometown in Eastern Colorado, where there seems to be a big problem with an infestation of crows. There are millions of them, perched in the big trees across town, and, unfortunately, in the tree that canopies my parents' patio.

Can you say "Lots of bird feathers and poop every morning?"

My mom said, "I've got to get the tree trimmer to put my snakes in the tree, and I won't have this problem."

Yep, she ties wooden, flexible snakes (like something you'd buy at Worl

Does this happen to you?

You're barreling down the road, and you see a car wanting to turn from a side street into traffic. You watch, and watch, and watch, wondering if he/she is going to nudge out and turn in front of you, and just when you think he/she has decided to wait until after you pass THEY PULL OUT INTO TRAFFIC AT THE LAST SECOND!
And you say to yourself: Why did they wait so long? Why didn't they go earlier?

And then you realize: WAIT! I do the SAME DAMNED THING!

Why is that? Why do we wait so long to turn into

Insomnia on Coconut Dr.

Yep. I'm posting this at 3:10 a.m.
For some reason I am programmed to wake up at 3 a.m. for days at a time. It can last for a week or two weeks, and it drives me crazy. And why at 3 o'clock?
The author in me thinks this: I am time-traveling while sleeping ... or living an alternate existence in a different time zone, and my 3 o'clock in this time zone is actually 6 or 7 a.m. in the other.
Then again, it could be the plate of Hooters chicken wings I ate with friends for dinner.
Speaking of Hooters: I

Author update: What I'm working on

1. My next novel in progress is set in (Surprise!) Amarillo ... where a character based on Bill Gates feels guilty about the problems computers have caused in the world and goes about building a walled city where technology is barred. My protagonist is a 4th-generation Amarillo lawyer who's in the throes of his midlife crisis. (NO, this is NOT autobiographical!)

2. Also am working on a nonfiction book on how to find the best college fit for your child. It'll be filled with anecdotes from the coll

Who knew?

... about the hoodoo? This was a new word to me, discovered on my trip to Amarillo. According to Wikipedia: A hoodoo (also tent rock, fairy chimney, earth pyramid) is a tall thin spire of rock that protrudes from the bottom of an arid drainage basin or badland.

Here's the one I saw in Palo Duro Canyon:

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Everyone now: Yoo-HOO for hoodoos!

Mistake in the men's bathroom

There was a day when men's public bathrooms had urinal troughs ... where we all lined and bumped shoulders as we peed. They've all but disappeared, even in stadium settings -- and I'm not sure why. These days men have their own private urinals, and these usually are separated by privacy walls. Guys ... what the hell happened? Have we become that sensitive and insecure?

At any rate, I was thrilled to see a urinal trough in a rest stop along the freeway between Lubbock and Amarillo. And this was a

Oddites from the Texas Panhandle landscape

Spotted off a freeway in northern Amarillo, this sign with letters as tall as me:

[image error]I'd heard that the creator of Cadillac Ranch (see previous post) also posted odd signs around his native city. I'm guessing this is one of them.

Also: Spotted in a field east of Lubbock:

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Sorry ... I couldn't get any closer to this LIFESIZE STATUE OF A GORILLA, smack dab in the middle of a farm field. Gives new meaning to "scare crow," doesn't it?

Texas Panhandle Post #44775641: No I am not a real cowboy ... but I play one on TV.

As I promised you, a stop on my trip (after I bought a very-cool straw hat, just like the ones I remember from my childhood in eastern Colorado), was the famous Cadillac Ranch, the brainchild of a man named Stanley Marsh 3 (he has said that "III" is pretentious).

These 10 cars are buried, nose down, into the soil, apparently at the same angle of the Great Pyramids of Giza.
Two girls from Canada asked to take my picture. They thought I was a real "cowboy." I dug into my childhood arsenal of Western