Ad Hudler's Blog, page 45

You know you live in the inner city when ...

My hometown of Fort Myers, Florida (population: 50,000) used to be a free-standing city ... but in the last half-century it has been swallowed by urban sprawl, to the tune of about 1 million people. This means that Fort Myers proper has become the inner city. And a trait of inner cities is that their flavor (average income, race, etc.) changes block by block, not mile by mile.
Hence, the reality of my neighborhood. Just two blocks away from multi-million-dollar waterfront homes:1. A strip club c

Cat Haters need not apply

We all use litmus tests of some kind or another. My mom has one of the funniest: There are two kinds of people in the world -- cat lovers and assholes.

Here's one I have found to be almost 100-percent true over the years: I enjoy the company of people who listen to National Public Radio for news. They tend to be curious, open-minded and global in their perspective.[image error]

An impromptu moment in the Hudler house ...

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Rabbit in the kitchen, eating cucumber.[image error]

A helpful housekeeping hint that saves money and time

The stay-at-home-dad character in my newest novel, Man of the House, gives "Handy Hints for Caregiver Sanity" throughout the book. Here's one he should have included:
I've heard way too many moms complain about the loads of dirty towels they have to launder every week. Well, this isn't true in my house, and here's why: Towels mildew and get smelly when they're left on the floor. We all hang our damp towels, open and unfolded, on racks in the bathroom, and they dry out in no time with no mildewy s

A note to Moms ...

Please get rid of these:

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Honestly, we don't care how many people you have in your family. Ditto for dogs and cats. Some questions: Why is it that only SUV's and vans have these things?Also: Are these decals a manifestation of tattoo-envy?Also: Are they an expression of virility and fertility?Also: Are they more prevalent in conservative-Christian automobiles?[image error]

Does laughter burn calories?

I have this friend who is easily seduced by new-fad-diet books, which I generally make fun of because they're so outrageous.

S/he has a new one called "The Flat Belly Diet," which I quickly renamed "The FAT Belly Diet". There's a four-day cleansing period in which you eat and drink very little ... including lots of what they call "Sassy Water." I have to admit this stuff sounds pretty good: Mix 2 liters of water with grated ginger root, sliced cucumber, lemon juice and mint leaves, then let it si

Next stop: adult diapers

You know you're middle-aged when the folks at Lenscrafters no longer can make your glasses in under an hour.[image error]

Food ... or weapon?

I grew up on the eastern high plains of Colorado: no trees, substandard soil. It's basically desert, as you can tell from the random yucca plants and sagebrush.

That said, the area is filled with farms that produce some impressive wheat and soybean crops. What they do is this: fertilize and irrigate the hell out of everything.
Now, the townies do the same thing in their little gardens. And, as a result, they produce some abnormally-sized Hulk-like vegetables. And whenever this happens, they call m

Kitty, what a BAD cough you have!

In case you missed it, Friday was National Furball Awareness Day.
I must confess that it escaped my calendar.
Those cats' tongues are nasty things, aren't they?
And did you know that a male cat's pecker is barbed?
Don't believe me? Watch THIS![image error]

Does crankiness have an age restriction?

I was greeted (confronted) by a reader of my blog last night in person who called me a "C.I.T."

Curmudgeon In Training.
Of course, I was insulted. I thought I was a FULL-FLEDGED curmudgeon!
"You're not old enough," he explained.
So I ask y'all: How old must one be to be an official curmudgeon? Isn't it a state of mind?
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