Lyda Morehouse's Blog, page 47

Non-Convention Report

Despite the fact that three people asked after me by text and Twitter, I was not at WisCON. Perhaps one of my many dopplegangers were, however. Being a short, pudgy, butching-looking woman whose con-wear consists of jeans, shirt and vest (and sometimes tie) makes for a lot of confusion, particularly at WisCON, the Feminist Science Fiction Convention.

Instead, I went to my hometown of LaCrosse, Wisconsin.

Some things I'll bet you didn't know about LaCrosse. It is the home of the World's Largest Six-Pack. The six-pack is actually a beer aging vat, so it is, in fact, full of beer. http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/world-s-largest-six-pack LaCrosse has always been a brewing town and one of the reasons that I hate beer to this day is that the sickly, over-powering smell of hops is the smell of a hot, muggy summer day to me.

Also, LaCrosse is part of the "Driftless Zone," a geographically unique part of the United States defined by the fact that it has several odd rock formations carved and/or deposited during the first ice age, and was missed by the second ice age, whose glaciers flattened the Great Plains. So, even though I grew up in the Midwest, which people typically think of as flat, I was surrounded by sandstone bluffs (mini-mountains, people tell me they're akin to foothills), swamps, and deep river valleys: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Driftless_Area#Wisconsin.

Here's the view on an overcast/rainy day from the top of Granddad's Bluff looking out toward a nearby bluff. On a clear day, you can see three states (Minnesota [across the river], Wisconsin [of course], and Iowa [just to the south].)


My father tells me there's going to be a documentary about the Driftless Area on some National Geographic type show, and one of the things he learned when listening to people discuss this is that the Driftless Area supposedly has as much biodiversity as the Rainforest. This does not surprise me in the least. More often than not, the hatching of the mayflies in LaCrosse is VISIBLE BY DOPPLER RADAR.

Great Blue Herons are such a common sight, we caught this picture of one on our traditional hike through the RABBIT (River and Bluff Bicentennial Intra-City Trail) trail:


Because a swampy marshland seperates the North Side from the South Side of town, my North Side high school's mascot was "Swampy" a red-and-white faux fur swamp monster whom I regularly portrayed at football games and school rallies.

Yes, that's right, I was was a high school mascot.

Oh, and another last bit of trivia: supposedly there's a Native American legend about LaCrosse (which was supposedly named for the games the Voyageurs saw the American Indians playing that reminded them of LaCrosse) that where three rivers meet there will never be a tornado. We have three rivers that converge in LaCrosse (the Black, the LaCrosse, and the Mississippi Rivers). That was all good until about two years ago, when my dad was in the hospital and a tornado jumped right over Gunderson Clinic (which we were in at the time) and tore a path through the South Side. People didn't want to call it a tornado, but I actually saw the debris field.

If you can't tell, I adore the town I grew up in. It was ultimately too small for me, but if my partner weren't the State Archivist of MINNESOTA, I would seriously consider returning there once Mason was finished with school.

One family tradition we have at every visit is "porch time." We often combine "porch time" with "talking smart," but here's Mason engaged in reading on the "veranda" (which was also jokingly call the lovely three-season porch my folks have in the house I grew up in [built in 1890-something, I believe. It has an open staircase, among other things...])


Here's Mason participating in another LaCrosse tradition: rocket ballons--


My folks and Mason at the top of Granddad's Bluff (on the way to check out the new observation area.)


Mason and me investigating a hollowed out, collapsed tree on the Marsh (RABBIT) trail:


I hear I missed a good WisCON, but I had a great deal of fun catching up with my folks.

Killed by Senbonzakura

So, we went to kuk sool finally after many days absence to discover that all the cherry blossoms had bloomed, so OF COURSE we had to take some petals home and have a little shikai battle. You'll have to imagine (a lot), but also that I have Zabimaru.

I kind of like how the blossoms look like magic spikes. (Mason makes a good Byakuya, neh?)


My sad death. Luckily, I'm headed to the Soul Society!


No, I will rise again, like Renji!

Car Troubles and Porn Flail

As I was driving Shawn to work today, we were idling at Lexington and Summit at the stoplight there when all of a sudden a plume of white smoke came up from under my hood. I've had so many problems with that particular sight I no longer go into super-panic mode, ie, "Ai! Car on Fire!!"

Instead, I calmly finished taking Shawn to work, bought a few groceries on the way home, and then told Mason, "Looks like a library day!" My new auto repair guy is Dave's Auto's in Roseville, which is directly across the street from the library, so when the car is stuck in the shop, I (or Mason and I during intersession) sit in the coffeeshop/library awaiting news/a rescue. (The Roseville Library has an Dunn Brothers attached that opens at 6:30 am, so that's super convenient). I've spent an entire day at the library and the only hardship is knowing I can't really go anywhere else. But, with the coffee shop attached it has EVERYTHING I NEED, in order: wifi, books, coffee, food and water and shelter. And, of course, a bathroom.

Anyway, when I pulled into Dave's and explained the situation to the guy behind the counter, he said, "Well, let's take a look." We walked outside together. He popped my hood and inspected everything in that way only a car mechanic can. I mean, I look at all those hoses and bits and think, "Huh. Car," and wouldn't be able to tell you if the engine was missing, but this guy sees all the signs. He opens up my steering fluid container and says, "I think this is over filled. Look here how it's spilled over onto the top. See how your engine has a wet spot? I think we found your culprit."

Then, he goes back into the shop and gets an HONEST TO GOD TURKEY BASTER and pulls out some excess fluid and pats me on the back and says, "There you go. Fixed."

AND IT WAS FREE.

I am utterly and completely in love with Dave's Auto and every single person who works there forever and for all time and I might have accidentally told them that as we left.

But, since Mason and I had psyched ourselves up for an all day adventure and it looks like rain, Mason and I decided, "Screw it, let's have a library day anyway," so I drove over to the library parking lot and we're now sitting in the coffeeshop waiting for he library to open.

Meanwhile, in unrelated news, my friend empty_mirrors point me to this: http://nrrrdy-grrrl.livejournal.com/580483.html a nice link salad of slash resources for those of us who ocassionally feel porn challenged, like myself. I've been told I write okay sex (slash commenters lead me to believe I ocassionally hit the mark into "hot,") but the writing of sex scenes is always a struggle. It was/is a struggle in my day job as a romance writer, too.

Anyway, the library is now open.

Don't You Wish You Were My Pen Pal?

This is the sort of thing that appears as random art on the bottom of the letters I send to my pen pal, Keri, in Seattle. Several years ago (or maybe just a couple years ago), I decided that I missed the sensual, private pleasure of writing personal letters. So I put out a request on Facebook. Keri, a woman I only kinda-sorta knew at the time said, "Oooh, pick me!" So I did. We've been corresponding for at least a year and a half if not two years now and every time I write to her, I usually embellish the letter with a bit of fan art/art.

Here's what I'm sending her this week:



Pretty nice, huh? I bet you wish you were my pen pal.

Or maybe not. Maybe you'd be pretty sick of all the Renji I send.... Although, tbf, I have actually sent her Ichigo, Kisuke Urahara, Captain Kyouraku, Byakuya, and Gin Ichimaru, so I'm not ENTIRELY one-track fan art-ing her. Though there's a lot of Renji. How do I know? My red colored pencil is little more than a sad little stub.

Signed! Love is the Law!

Yesterday, despite the WTF 90 degree tempuratures, Mason and I braved the crowds at the capitol to witness history in the making. Shawn was home for the afternoon, having come with us to Como Zoo earlier, but as she's such an extreme introvert that she faints in large crowds, she stayed home. Good call, I think, because it was REALLY crowded.



We were never close enough to actually see our governor sign the bill into law, but we could hear his less-than-rousing-but-still-wildly-cheered speech. Poor Governor Dayton, he's just not a spit fire. He's got such a good heart, but he always looks and sounds like such a sad sack.

Anyway, Mason did what he does at any major historical event:



I think in the future, when his children (if he has any) ask him, "Papa, where were you when...?" Mason will have to scratch his chin and say, "Oh, I was there. I remember, because I was reading XX by X." They'll say, "What was it like, Papa?" And, he'll have to shrug and say, "Oh, it's a great book...." but have NO OTHER MEMORY OF THE ENTIRE HISTORICAL MOMENT.

But, honestly, the actual memories are: it was stupid hot. There were too many bodies all pressed together. Oh, and ima got a little misty-eyed when the bill was actually signed.

And, then, I should tell you all, I had the first dream of my entire twenty-eight some years with Shawn of CHEATING ON HER. I think that probably the idea of marriage has utterly freaked out my subconscious, and I'm now trying to break up with her on the astral plane.

(Republican secret agenda: freak out long-term GBLT couples.)

Ban Sai!

The Como Zoo has been doing a lot of renovation. One of the things they've added is a bonsai "garden." They always had a display, but they've arranged it now so that when you're head to the Japanese garden you stroll through a special gallery that displays not only the bansai, but also some of the traditional tea ceremony equipment for the tea hut they have. Some day, I'm going to register for one of their tea ceremonies. Maybe this year...



At any rate, Shawn took half a day off to spend with Mason and me, and we decided to check out the zoo. Of course today it decided to try to hit 90 degrees (F). I ended up taking a lot of pictures of the bonsai garden because not a lot was blooming yet in the Japanese garden (because...uh, it was snowing last week.)

Bonsai!








The garden itself is fairly lovely, though like I said, not a lot is blooming yet. It was funny because I kept forgetting that it was only last week that we were still shoveling, and I'd say things like, "Why don't they have the water for the seals out yet?" Oh... right! Or, "why aren't there more icecream stands ready yet?" Oh... right. I guess Minnesota winters are the kind of pain you forget.

Japanese Garden!






We walked around and looked at the animals a bit too, but most of the big cats were asleep in the sun. The ram was funny though. It really wanted to butt heads with someone, and there was a reindeer on the other side of its fence that it tried to engage. The reindeer yawned tauntingly, while the ram kept kind of rushing the fence a bit. It was funny, mostly because the reindeer couldn't have been less impressed.

In about a half hour, Mason and I are going to make our way over to the capitol to watch the governor sign the Marriage Equality Act bill into law. It should be quite the party. If I can, I'll try to get pictures of that too.

She Said YES...

Perhaps you heard? The Minnesota Senate, after far too much deliberation and a somewhat narrow margin of seven votes, passed the Marriage Equality for All Act (or whatever it's officially called) and have legalized same sex marriage.

I spent much of the day hanging out with my friend naomikritzer trying not to think about what was happening at the capitol. I get really nervous about things like my civil rights, and I feel like I've seen things go pear-shaped when they seemed certain (like WTF, Prop 8?) Naomi was perfect company because we'd talk about things, she'd check the live feeds/blogs, give me a little report, we'd discuss whatever was new a little, and then go on to other things. I didn't have to dwell or stew or rant at the radio. The Senate still hadn't gone to a vote by the time I went to pick Shawn up, so I came home to discover my Facebook feed EXPLODED with the news. My telephone started ringing. It was my very last boyfriend EVER, Bill spelled Wm, who called to wish me a happy congratulations. While I was on the phone with him, people were responding to my dubious, "Uh, well, I guess I'm getting married, huh?" post on Facebook, to which my penpal Keri noted, "Not until you propose!"

So Bill got to hear me squeal, "Oh, shit! That's right!" While Mason was yelling, "You know how to do this, don't you? You have to have a ring and go down on one knee!"



The ring is one from Mason's jewelry box. He has a box of trinkets from Shawn and my youth, and the ring he picked for me to offer is the very one Shawn used to play dress-up with when she wanted to feel fancy and elegant or TO PRETEND TO GET MARRIED.

There was a tense moment when I got down on my knee. Shawn has, in point of fact, rejected a ring from me before. Once, almost twenty years ago now, when we were at the Mall of America, I contrived to surprise her with a Claddaugh, which I'd hoped she'd wear to show she was in a relationship, a kind of a promise ring. When I offered it, her face crumpled and she said she had to say 'no.' She never wanted a ring like that, and, anyway, did we really need something like that to symbolize our bond...? Since I still had the receipt, I took it back... utterly heartbroken, honestly. We laugh about it now, but I can't say I wasn't thinking about that while I was down on my knees.

She said yes.

She is, in fact, still wearing the goofy plastic thing, which she wore proudly when we went out to eat to celebrate. Hey, empty_mirrors , guess what? We had fish and chips! Or, at least I did, though I have to confess they were from Red Lobster.

At dinner, we did a lot of talking to Mason and among ourselves about what this means. We've decided that what's going to happen for certain is this: as soon as the law takes effect--August 1, we will get married officially. Why? I need health insurance, fast. I've been without preventative care for over a decade now. I haven't been to a proper doctor in forever. Then, we'll take some time and plan for a December wedding, probably next year in 2014. I'd like to try to keep our December 1st anniversary. It's served us well for twenty-seven years, and I'd hate to have to start over at one, you know? But, I have no idea when that date next falls on a Saturday or a Sunday (and I'm too lazy to Google right now), and we don't want to have to wait forever, so I may just have to compromise and do the weekend closest to our anniversary.

Will we have "real" rings? Probably not. I can't wear metal and, f*ck, the whole thing is supposed to symbolize a kind of chain, so screw that. Maybe I'll consider a ceramic ring, like my parents had. But, Shawn already has a wedding ring she wears that belonged to her mother and grandmother.

One thing we've decided on is a minister. The woman who did Ella's funeral keeps popping up in our lives. She did the funeral for my nephew Adam, and then married my niece Alicia. We'd kind of like her to do any ceremony we have, because she's a Unitarian and we know how well she listened to the stories we wanted told about Ella... and did a stunning job with it. So it would be nice to do something positive with her, too. (She was thrilled to meet Mason at Alicia's wedding.)

After that, like I said earlier, the only other thing I want for sure is a dance. Shawn will probably hate the large crowd, so we may have to find a place that has an "Introvert's Corner" for Shawn and my other massively introverted friends to cower in when the crowd gets to loud, noisy, and exuberant. Shawn confessed over dinner that maybe she wants a bit of veil on a hat--one of those broad hats you always see the ladies wearing at British weddings (no fascinators, though!)

So, yeah... wow. I'm still kind of in shock. I really never expected this option and now that I have it, I really don't know what to do with it. So much about weddings I never wanted, but what I do want is health insurance and all that legal stuff other married people have access to. The dress, the cake--oh, actually, we have my mom on the cake, so that's covered--the rest? I don't know.

I realize though that weddings, like funerals are in some ways, for other people. So, you know, if there's something you want us to have, put your suggestions in now and we'll seriously consider it! Why not?!

My New LJ Icon (Thanks to Frank!)

Yeah, that's kind of all I wanted to say: CHECK OUT MY NEW ICON! Of course, in that dress, a few more of Renji's tattoos would show, but who cares, because THIS IS SO F*CKING AWESOME. Thank you, Frank Gosar! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

In other news, naomikritzer , haddayr and I spoke at the Regional MENSA meeting yesterday. Naomi says of it: http://naomikritzer.livejournal.com/271725.html.

Mine was like that, only without the need for a PSA. Although I didn't spill coffee on myself right before public speaking, Shawn and I did have a kerfuffle over a painting project that I'd neglected for a long time. So, I wasn't in the best head space either, and we had to rely on Haddayr to be the brains. Luckily, she has enough to cover all three of us.

I did, however, kind of wake up at the very end of the panel discussion to completely jump down the throat of an older guy in the audience who ended up asking this question, "Where were your grandmothers? When I was reading science fiction it was the golden age: Isaac Asimov, Heinlien, etc. I can only only remember a few women--"

I interrupted him right there and said, "Perhaps you've heard of this thing called 'sexism'?"

Where was my grandmother? WTF. Seriously? My father's mother was cleaning houses and lamenting the fact she only had a fourth grade education. My mother's mother was cooking and supporting her family as a widow. It wasn't until the invention of the pill that women of MY MOTHER'S GENERATION finally had the reproductive freedom to even CONSIDER the luxury of writing science fiction for chrissake! And YET, despite all those barriers, SCIENCE FICTION WAS INVENTED BY A WOMAN: MARY SHELLEY.

So f*ck you!

My response, I'll note, was only a little more measured and thoughtful.

But, I did finish painting the hallway. It looks great in "castle path." The ceiling (which was the original project) still needs doing, but we'd been meaning to do this hallway for a long, long time. I didn't take any pictures, because I'm not sure you could tell the difference any more.

Tomorrow, I may post the pictures of the beautious and delicious brunch I made today which included: fresh homemade cinnamon swirl bread, eggs, and sage sausage patties.

Anyway, great icon, neh? LOVE IT!!

I May Have to Get a New LJ Icon: Wedding Bells

The Minnesota House voted to extend marriage equality to everyone yesterday. On Monday, the Senate is expected to weigh in, but, provided they have the votes (which many sources say they do), the governor has already promised to sign.

I... uh, could be getting married soon. *gulp*

I mean, YAY!

As I've talked about before, this is just one of those things I made peace with DECADES ago when I came out. Though one of the ways I always knew I was different from the other girls is that I never had the long, involved wedding fantasies they did. So, to suddenly be faced with -- do we get dresses? Rings? A Unitarian minister? Kind of throws me a little.

One thing I've always loved about weddings, though, is getting to dance. So I told Shawn that the one thing I absolutely MUST have at our wedding is a dance hall. I want to dance all night long and I want all our friends--as many who want to/can celebrate with us--to dance and dance and dance (but not until our feet burn up, just until we collapse with joy.)

So, I'll be watching Monday. Fingers crossed.

Living Up to the Blog Title

I have a reoccuring dream/nightmare where I'm arriving at a science fiction convention bright and early on a Saturday morning, I make my leisurely way to registration and... discover I've missed half my panels.

After last night, I suspect I'm going to have a new writing-related nightmare: missing a reading.

So, yeah, I was sitting on my comfy chair doing a whole lot of nothing when the phone rings. Shawn answers it. I hear, "This is she. ... Oh my god!" I sit up, because I think, "Oh, crap, who died?!" Shawn's eyes are wide and she looks at me, "Lyda! You were supposed to be at a reading at Dreamhaven!" I run to the phone, and, sure enough, it's Eric Heideman who coordinates the Speculations Reading series wondering where the heck I am. I look at the time: it's 6:35 pm (the reading started at 6:30) and I say, "On my way!" At least he tells me, I'm not the only one who forgot--at the present time the only people in the store were Greg (Dreamhaven's owner) and himself.

Knowing there wasn't even a small crowd waiting meant to didn't kill anyone as I sped across town. Luckily, Dreamhaven, though it's in another city (Minneapolis), is no more than fifteen minutes away. I made it in 20, because (of course) not only did I hit every single traffic light, but the light rail train crossed at 38th and I had to wait.

On my panicked drive I called naomikritzer because I really needed to share my horror with someone who would understand. Luckily, Naomi thought it was hillarious (just what I needed, honestly,) and I was able to tell her that what I wished was for that moment in "Practical Magic" where Sandra Bullock's character is able to "activate the phone tree!" People seem to be able to organize flash mobs on a moment's notice, but could I get anyone to show up at Dreamhaven for me?

Nope.

In the end it was me, Eric, and one actual audience member. I really tried to wheeddle my way out of reading anything, but Eric insisted I read SOMETHING. He'd found a copy of a Tales of the UnAnticipated that I had a short story in, so I ended up reading the entire "Van Buylen Effect" (my time-travel couch story.) Since I was mostly reading for myself, I spent the time thinking, "Huh, that was a pretty good story." I don't write a lot of short stories because I tend to find them difficult--condensing a whole beginning, middle and end and all the other things you need like an emotional arc and all that into 10,000 words or less is a very daunting prospect for me. So, I was suprised I'd managed to pull it off pretty well. This is the story, actually, that was recently rejected for a time-travel anthology (the editors were specifically looking for reprints). I'd been feeling like maybe it wasn't as strong a story as I remembered, but now I think, well, actually it was all right.

Anyway, afterwards, the three of us went out for drinks at Merlin's Rest. It was quiz night at the pub, so we entertained ourselves by trying to answer the questions, even though we weren't playing along. I hadn't been in Merlin's Rest before really, and I tasted a bit of the fish and chips Eric ordered. I have to say, I'll be back there. Shawn and I have been looking for a decent fish and chips place since Molly Quinn's closed.

The night ended up being salvaged but OH MY GOD WHAT A NIGHTMARE.