Lyda Morehouse's Blog, page 13

For Those of You Shell-Shocked by the News...

 ... I welcome you over to my boring corner of the world where I will catch you up on news of my birthday and the cool sale of multi-colored Christmas lights I found today at Walgreen's (only $25! For two!)

So, my birthday, right? That was last month, on the 18th, and I turned all of 48.  I should tell you, I'm really HAPPY to be 48. I know some people, including Shawn would like to not think about growing older.  But, for me?  I'm really grooving on heading into my 50s.  As my optometrist likes to say about growing older, "Beats the alternative."

My birthday started with a chiropractic appointment, and since I've already told you about how effusive Dr. Matt is, it will be no surprise to you that when I told him it was my birthday, he gave me a gift.  A coupon for a FREE hour massage, which was, like, seriously: Wow.  Thank you.  I only just today got around to booking it, because, while they had one that day it would have been right during the time we'd planned to go out for my birthday dinner at Masu, a Japanese restaurant at the Mall of America that I wanted to try out.  

Shawn bought me my very own Kindle, which I have to admit, so far, I have mostly used for playing games.  

I blame the library. They have for free what I would buy in hardcover, and not in e-book.  Though it was kind of cool when I read WE ARE ALL COMPLETELY BESIDE OURSELVES by Karen Joy Fowler, I simultaneously took out the e-book because it's nicer to read the Kindle in bed.  We don't really have a good bedside lamp, so having the back-lit Kindle is actually really handy. So, I just switched back and forth depending on where I was and the quality of light. I should do that for the book I have now (THE SHORE by Sarah Taylor, which is on the short list for the Guardian First Book Award.)  

I just went to the Locus Magazine site to remember the author's name and I see that I'm behind an award or two.  My list is ever-growing and I don't think I even read half of the books actually up for awards this year.  Even so, it was a fun challenge.  I've read a LOT of books (for me) this year and have been exposed to a ton more authors--many of whom I'd never read before. I talked to Bitter Empire about whether or not I should continue with the same thing, and we decided that since the Hugo could be in question again this year (and those were by far my most popular posts) that I should go ahead.  Plus, this year I'll be _at_ Mid-AmericaCon (aka the Hugo's/WorldCON), so I could do a bit of live reporting for them (possibly along with fellow Bitter Empire-r Naomi and/or Haddayr, if she comes.)

But, back to the story at hand.  The rest of my birthday continued along rather phenomenally.  When people asked me if I had "Big Plans" I told them the truth.  "Yes," I said, "My wife is taking the day off to spend with me and we plan *to nap.*"  I kind of feel like when you're nearing 50 the idea of intentionally setting aside time during the day to nap is like the deepest luxury EVER.  And we did.  We had a great nap in the middle of the f*cking day.  

Best. Birthday. EVER.

Masu turned out to be a fun experience with 'meh' food.  I have to tell you that I rather prefer Zen Box, which Mason and I went to together on the Thursday after my birthday (which is to say the next night, since my birthday this year was on a Wednesday). He and I are huge takoyaki fans, and Zen Box makes the BEST takoyaki.  (Octopus balls to those who might not know.  SO GOOD. They're a little like hush puppies, but with octopus bits inside, covered in Japanese mayonnaise and bonito [fish] flakes.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Takoyaki.)  But, we had some sushi, which Mason tried and might have liked better if the chef's special hadn't included a very powerful hot pepper.  

(Note: in the absence of Jaffa Cakes, I can also be bribed with takoyaki.)

But, all was not lost because one of the things Shawn and Mason bought me for my birthday is "Japan Crate," which is one of those monthly services where they send you a box of cool sh*t.  Japan Crate specializes in candy and snacks from Japan.  The first one is scheduled to arrive here in early December and you have no idea how excited I am.  

SUPER excited.  SUPER-DOOPER.

Even though the picture function seems a little broken, I will attempt to post pictures when the first crate arrives.  Shawn and Mason splurged and got me the "deluxe" shipment, and Mason and I have already pledged to at least TRY everything.  We may also spend the day it comes (or the weekend immediately thereafter) watching anime while eating whatever the heck they send us.  I'm really looking forward to it.

Yeah, so, actually, as far as birthdays go, it was truly one of my best yet.

If I'm ever in a position of power and you need to bribe me...

 ...OFFER JAFFA CAKES.

You _can_ find them, occasionally, around these parts, but Jaffa Cakes are kind of a UK thing. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaffa_Cakes. I fell in love with them only recently when my friend in Wales randomly stuck a box into a care package of other things.  Shawn doesn't particularly like them.  Mason thinks they're pretty okay, for cookies, but I'm CRAZY about them.  

CRAZY.

As an example, Maggie (nee Jackson) and her new husband Ogie brought me about five boxes when they came visiting for Thanksgiving and there are now only three and a half boxes left (these are double boxes, at least, so I'm not panicking yet, but I'm going to be out of Jaffa Cakes before Christmas, guaranteed.)

I'm sure when I go to the doctor later this week, she's going to give me a look after I hop on the scale and mutter, "Thanksgiving, eh?" And, I'm going to be like, "No, Jaffa Cakes. Entirely Jaffa Cakes."

Speaking of doctors and things, I'm happy to report that I'm nearly pain free. The only concerning thing that remained is that, while I've gone down to a muscle ache I can cope with, I'm now experiencing numbness in a couple of fingers on my left hand. When I told my chiropractor about that last Wednesday, he asked if we'd done X-rays.  I said that we hadn't and I was actually going to ask him if I should ask my doctor to take some.  But, apparently, Charon Chiropractic has a X-ray machine right there, so they took a picture of my neck and shoulders.  Yesterday, he showed me the film and we talked about it. He was so relaxed as we were headed in to look at them, he was saying, "Oh, the films are so much better than I expected," and I thought, "Okay, great, so maybe it's all just muscle related...."

And then he starts talking about how your spinal bones are all supposed to make this nice line where they all match up, so the spinal cord continues uninterrupted, and he starts drawing down with his finger to show me on my x-ray and then... his fingers jog over where there's this sudden.... break, a shift to the left for two of the bones, and then back to the original line.  It's very clear; even to me, that that's not right.  He looks at me and asks, "Have you been in a car accident?"  

I'm like, "No.  Seriously.  I told you.  I literally woke up with this."

He says, "This is an impact injury.  This is a MAJOR impact injury."

So, I'm thinking about it and I say, "Okay, so... a couple of years ago, I fell down the icy concrete stairs outside my house.  I didn't have medical insurance at the time, so I just kind of shook it off.  I'd whacked my elbow pretty good, but otherwise I didn't think much about it, because I'd rolled in a way that felt like I'd protected my brain, you know? So now I'm thinking: I protected my brain all right, but NOT my neck."

And he nods, "That could be it." (And, then, being the helpful guy Dr. Matt is, goes on to tell me that I probably could have gotten the money to pay for medical expenses out of my home insurance because it doesn't have to be a stranger who hurts themselves on your property, it can be the owner.  Sometimes, anyway.  He thought I should check my policy, because, you know, insurance guys don't want to tell you that stuff.  Have I mentioned much about Dr. Matt?  He's like that jolly wrestling coach from your high school, if that guy was a lot smarter, way more interesting, and slightly better socialized.  He'll talk to me about golfing and ski chalets and his opinion on the current Pope.  This conversation led him to telling me all about the time his house got robbed, twice--all while he's cracking my joints and stuff. I kind of love him. Of course, I told him I was a writer right away and gave the office copies of my novels. So maybe he's just open with me because I am with him. Plus, I came on a recommendation of someone from his former church....)

Anyway, so as far as we can figure, I've been living with this major impact damage for years and, when I was lifting the loom and whatnot the weekend right before I woke up in pain--even though I never felt like I strained anything--I must have finally jiggered the wrong thing loose, and WHAMMO.

But, it's the sort of thing Dr. Matt sees all the time, and, as he kept stressing, not nearly as bad as he thought it was going to be, so that's all to the good.

I have to have faith considering that he's taken me from constant 24/7, screaming agony to "meh, it's the end of the day and I feel like I've been punched in the back a bunch times.  A couple of aspirin ought to kill that."  I mean, that's fantastic.  As I told him on Monday, I can live with this.  It's not ideal, but I can cope, you know?  

And, of course, Dr. Matt just smiles ands says, "We can make it better than that, Lyda.  See you next week."





 

Waitin' on the Thunder...

 Woke last night to sound of thunder/How far off, I sat and wondered....

Actually, I woke this morning to thunder and lightning, which was pretty spectacular, though mostly the rain has been a steady pitter-pat/drizzle instead of the wild storm the thunder seemed to promise. I have a few places I need to go in the rain, but not many so I'd say this is a pretty good start to my birthday week.  

Alas, my birthday this year is being overshadowed by the fact that we're having a lot of guests (some from overseas) this year for Thanksgiving, which Shawn keeps a running count down of the days until.  I keep saying, hey, this week, we should be counting down until my birthday! (Three days in case you're wondering.  Nov. 18.) 

Plus, since we fixed up the space for the loom in the basement, we've been working on making the other half of that downstairs area into a LEGO repository/gaming space for Mason.  We have actually removed MOST of the LEGO models from our dining room and the next big push is going to be to move the sorted and unsorted LEGO pieces downstairs as well.  But, that was all work that Shawn and Mason did this weekend.  

My jobs involve re-painting parts of the kitchen that I'd started to shift to green (we're going back to black, until Shawn finds the exact right match to the color she wants.)  My other big job is going to be to take the rag rugs to the laundromat.  I took a couple on Friday and I'm going to take a few more today after my chiropractic appointment at 10:15 am.

Speaking of, my shoulder pain is down to mostly a dull ache, which I'm considering a win.  I'm going to keep the rest of my chiro appointments in the hopes that they're the difference to making me ALL better.  Considering how sore I was after working five hours yesterday at Maplewood, the problem clearly isn't SOLVED. I still don't know what I did. I should not have this much problem from... sleeping.  I mean, I know our mattress is old and I'm old, but dang.

The library called twice just now to try to get me in for more hours.  I had to say no to both.  I kind of hate that.  But, Shawn has blocked off much of December with notes that say "no library," so I'm pretty sure my boss is starting to think I really don't want to work at all in December. I think I'm scheduled for all of two days.  Oops.  On the other hand, this is why I will be a sub for the rest of my life and never take a full-time position.  I LIKE the flexibility of being able to say no (and to say yes spontaneously, too.) I once showed up to work covered in blue paint because they were so desperate for a sub that they said, "JUST COME NOW PLEASE" so I stowed away the stuff I was working on (the downstairs bathroom) and showed up.  I like being able to be that person, too, though I did have to say no to the other one today because I would like to keep my chiropractic appointment, like I said, and they really needed someone to start at 10 am.  Ah, well.  Flexible employee is flexible.  :-)

Okay, well, I should pack up some rugs and other things to take with me to the laundromat.  

God my life is exciting.  Thank goodness I write this stuff down for posterity.   

Left-Side Pain, Right-Side Brain

It'd been bothering me that on top of all this hassle with my soreness/pain, I hadn't felt much like writing. I figured it was mostly because the pain tired me out, but all I wanted was for the internet to entertain me--which, by the way, it does a piss poor job of. I don't really have that much to occupy me online. Most of my computer time is taken up by writing. 

Anyway, today, the chiropractor was talking about how the brain manages pain, and we both realized (because OF COURSE I told him I was a writer and gave him copies of my books) that the right side of my brain, the creative side, has been occupied processing all the hurt.

So, I guess it's a good sign that I've been feeling like writing again, eh?

 

85% Better

 I'm still waking up stiff, but whatever the chiropractor did yesterday seems to have actually WORKED, which I only funny because I said to Shawn that I was pretty sure we'd dipped into the realm of quack this last time.  

The assistant did this completely bizarre "treatment" on my neck yesterday that basically seemed to involve scraping my neck with a metal bar.  I mean, not painfully, but seriously how could metal bar scraping have been the cure I was waiting for?

And yet it seems to have been.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night because the cat was barfing and I realized as I was lying there waiting to fall back asleep, that while it was still pretty uncomfortable to roll over on my side, I was lying on my back PAIN FREE.  I can now also sit upright PAIN FREE.  I can walk around with my head up and it doesn't feel like my nerves along my back and arm are on fire. It also helps, I think, that I got some specific exercises to do for 

Now, watch me jinx this by talking about it, but even if there's some backwards movement now, I feel like I can SEE what recovery looks like finally.

There is hope of getting to my birthday not feeling like an 89 year-old cripple. Yay!

In other news, our beta died.  I think now the problem is that that he was conditioning tanks that had stood empty for so long. I need to try some feeder fish in there again and see if we can't get over this hump. I'd like to have actual, living fish in the tanks for our Thanksgiving guests.  

Okay, that was creepy.  I was sitting here writing and all of a sudden the phone rang.  I picked it up and there was nothing but dead air.  So, I hung up and went to check our new phone that shows caller ID.  The "number" listed there?  My name.  It didn't give me a number, only "Lyda Morehouse."  WTF.  That's seriously freaky.  It makes me wonder if there's some phone spammer out there somehow fishing (or phishing) for my phone number.... weird.

Anyway, it's a good thing our car got repaired because this week is the week of doctors for Shawn and I.  I've got more chiropractic stuff on Wednesday and Shawn has appointments both today and Thursday. Sheesh.  We really are getting old.

No Such Thing As a Free Lunch...

 ...but my car repairs were free.

I kid you not.  Despite the hassle, and me getting progressively cranky as the day slipped by, once they finally looked under hood it was determined that the part that failed was one they'd replaced not that long ago. The starter coil? F*ck if I know.  All that really mattered to me was that it was under their personal warranty and they replaced it at NO CHARGE.

All of the hassle suddenly seemed like nothing.  I even apologized to Dave's for calling them every two hours wondering when they'd get to looking at my car. TBF, the guys at Dave's apologized for taking so long too.  I guess it was a bad car day for a lot of people the last few days. Dave's was swamped to begin with, and then all of a sudden they had three other cars (including mine) towed in.  

But, free!  Did I mention I got my car fixed for FREE???!!!

In another weird turn of events, I slept pretty well last night. I think it was due to the fact that when I thought we might not have a car over the weekend, I decided a hike down to Whole Foods for some milk (and a few other minor essentials) would be a good idea.  It's a longish walk if you're not a walker, but walking is one of those things for me.  I spent a lot of my European travels walking everywhere, because it's a free and easy way to see a city.  So, walking several miles is not terribly daunting to me. I can get pooped out, but I when I walk at my own pace, I feel like I can go forever.  

But, so on the walk home I decided that I should let the bum side of my body bear the weight of the grocery bag.  It wasn't really heavy, but just heavy enough to pull down on the muscles.  

By the time I got home I felt like I was almost walking like a normal person (instead of hunched up with my head bowed). It felt so good, I quickly made up a grocery bag of approximately the same weight with the intention of using it as a kind of physical therapy in the mornings.  I suppose a normal person would carry weights (and I might even have some in the house somewhere,) but this was an easy thing to put together.

If it works?  I don't care how stupid I look carrying a grocery bag around my house.

Train, Pain, and Bus Adventures

Last night was a tough one.  I didn't sleep terribly well.  The pain woke me up more than once, as did a desire to roll over.  Thing is I normally don't sleep the whole night on my back, but, instead, curl up on one side or the other. Staying on my back is tough and makes me restless, I think.  Also I can't tell if things are getting better or not because mornings are always the WORST. I felt pretty worn down and discouraged this morning because of it, too.

But... we got Mason to school via the train and bus.  Shawn has loaned me her Go Pass and you can use it to pay for more than one person.  The only thing that's weird about it is that you don't get a physical ticket (or at least I couldn't figure out how to get one) and that made me nervous.  Nervous enough that I just went ahead and purchased a ticket for Mason, so I may have inadvertently given MTC an extra couple of dollars today.  

Mason really wanted to use our lack of car as an excuse to stay home today.  He was VERY grumpy on the way to school.  He's not fond of that sorts of things that I've learned to classify as "adventures."  He much prefers a map, a compass, and a schedule, complete with a list of unexpected events, if you know what I mean.  And, he really, really hates the fact that I'm the sort of person who says, "Oh, here's a bus, let's see if it's going the way we want to and hop on!"  He particularly hates that my breezy, laissez faire attitude usually works out in our favor 9 times out of 10.  He was especially annoyed as we got off the 62 bus a block from the street that led to his school and we were there about ten minutes earlier than we usually get there by car.  He gave me a sour look and sighed, "Cripes.  We should do this every day."

Poor baby.

I wish I'd managed to instill in Mason the ability to enjoy the 'off the road' moments in life, but he's just not that sort.

It's so hard to realize that our children are not copies of ourselves, no matter how hard we wish they would be.  

I told him to day that I think he's a new(er) soul--that he hasn't been this way much before--and that's why it's hard for him to roll with the punches. But then again, maybe he _is_ more pragmatic than I am (which is what he usually tells me). He might be right because I have a tendency to believe that most things will work out--at least the little things in life. I used to believe the big things would, too, but that was before Ella.  Losing her made me a lot less trusting in the universe.

Which is probably part of why I'm having such trouble with my slow recovery. I don't entirely trust that it WILL get better.  Maybe I just need to think off all this as an adventure in pain.  :-)

AAAAaaaaaaahhhhhHHHH

Remember how I was looking forward to having a thought beyond, "AaaaaahhhhhHHHHH"?  

Well, today, our car broke down.

I'd finished dropping off everyone, decided to stop at Claddaugh on 7th, and then... somewhere on the way up St. Clair, right after where there's a community garden, the car started to seem to have trouble getting up the hill.  I had to give it more and more gas to get it to go.  I stopped to see what was going on, and also because there was a gaggle of turkeys walking around and I wanted to watch them for a bit.  Then when I tried to get going again it was all sputter and kick and knock and WTF.  

So I pulled over again and tried to take a look.  All I really know to do is check for gas (filled yesterday) and oil.  I thought the oil looked kind of low, so I hiked over to Randolph to the BP gas station there and bought a couple of containers of oil.  I put them in.  Hoped for the best.

Still no joy.

But the car ran.  So limped it home and called Triple-A from the warmth and safety of my house.  Then, I set about calling the car repair people and letting Mason and Shawn know about alternative plans for getting home.  (Mason will catch a ride with a friend; Shawn has a transit pass.)  So, it sucks and is inconvenient, but it's not the end of the world.

Yeah, yeah, it's probably time for a new one.  I know.  But, this is the great conundrum of the poor/not-so-well off.  It's exponentially more expensive to buy a new (or even new used) car than it is to continue to get it fixed.  True, true, I've probably spent the cost of a new/new-used car on repairs for this one, BUT, thing is, we're talking about a hundred bucks here or two hundred there.  I've actually got that to spare, whereas I don't have a thousand extra bucks of month to spend on a new car payment.  Right now, I pay zero a month for the car.  Our insurance is pretty low, too, since I only insure against collision.

In other news, my shoulder still hurts.  I guess it's probably recovering because I do feel like my ARGHWHATWHY moments are shorter in the morning and it gets to a dull sort of ache a lot sooner.  But, wow, I have no patience for this.  I'm not used to having to wait to feel better.  (I know.  Your sympathy for me just dried up.  What can I say?  I was previously fairly indestructible and had a Wolverine style healing factor.)

My birthday month is starting out pretty poopy.  I hope this means that the ending will be somehow be the opposite.  

Western Medicine v. Chiropractors

Yesterday, I went to my usual doctor, who is actually a nurse-practioner.  She took one look at the way I was holding my body and said, "muscle spasm."  She prescribed me a muscle-relaxant.  Now, I'm convinced prescription drugs are magic.  :-) Last night was the first time in what felt like forever since I slept really soundly. Just waking up rested improved the way I felt by a zillion times, you know?

But I'm continuing to see my chiropractor, too, because I figure between them my back/neck will fix.

I'm sore still, but I'm feeling different kinds of soreness now.

So, that's a yay.

Now, I'm looking forward to having thoughts beyond, "AAAAaaaaaaaaahhhhhHHHHhh."

Chiropractors are Kind of Magical

I didn't get instant relief, but there was a tremendous CRACK when the chiropractor adjusted my neck.  

Generally, I have to say my very first experience with a chiropractor was pretty awesome.  I went to Caron Chiropractor, which is literally up the street from me, on Snelling and Randolph, on the recommendation of my barista.  (Shut up, when you talk to everyone, you get lots of advice.)  At rate, as soon as I said to the chiropractor, "Explain this: why does it feel better when I raise my hand over my head?" he instantly knew where my trouble was and started pointing to parts of the spine and talking about a treatment plan.  

The coolest part of the plan?  Besides the fact that it seems to be covered, at least partly, by my insurance?  Massage.  ELECTRIC massage.  I told the lady who hooked me up that it really did feel like there were tiny little electric fingers massaging my shoulder.  I needed the massage because when the assistant asked me to relax my left arm, I actually couldn't. The muscles wouldn't let go. At all. Turns out I'd been tensing in order to stay in a particularly less painful position... and now I was just a giant knot.  So, they undid the knots a bit and then I got to go in for the adjustment, which was kind a thing I've been craving.  There have been days when I just wanted to slam my shoulder into something hard in the hopes that something would break free.  

It makes me think that this is why, when I was young, people figured chiropractors for quacks.  It seems both like that thing you really, desperately WANT, but which seems vaguely not okay, in that, aren't you going to hurt yourself??? kind of way.

So the crack was deeply satisfying. It was very, "AHHH, I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN."

And,while I still have nerve pinch pain, I can now move fairly normally.  I see the "real" doctor later today, so we'll see what she thinks of everything.  I go back to the chiropractor a couple more times before I'm supposed to feel closer to all better.  

The only thing I really didn't get,which maybe the doctor can provide, is an answer to the question, how the hell did this even happen.  The chiropractor suggested that it was probably just a combination of growing older and a lifetime of crappy posture/habits.  He might be right, but it sucks that I literally went to bed fine and pain free, and woke up with this hardcore nerve pinch.

But I guess you can do it twisting funny, so there's no reason I couldn't just have twisted funny in my sleep.  It just sucks.

The good news is that, even though sleeping screwed me up again, my recovery time in the morning is already noticeably faster.  Yesterday I really didn't feel better for several hours after waking up, today it was a matter of minutes--a half hour at most of OH GOD WHAT WHY.  So, that's a big improvement.  Frankly, I'll take it.  If we can get this down to "a bit of morning stiffness" I'll be a happy camper.

Also, just so you know, this is what you get now that I'm turning 48 this month.  Blogs about my medical conditions.

You're welcome.