Michael Z. Williamson's Blog, page 11

When The Rapture Happens, Can I Have Your House?

This is for everyone who believes Judgment Day is 21 May, 2011.

That day is supposed to be the "Rapture," as described by one "John," hallucinating from malnutrition, bad food and screaming diarrhrea in a Roman Prison (which certainly makes him a reliable witness to things that haven't happened yet), as interpreted by several people, most of whom are illiterate in the Latin, Greek, Aramaic and Hebrew of the original documents of the time.

At least, it is if you believe that, in direct contradiction of scripture:

"But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only. 

"But as the days of Noah were, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be.  For as in the days before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and did not know until the flood came and took them all away, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be" ...

"Watch therefore, for you do not know what hour your Lord is coming, But know this, that if the master of the house had known what hour the thief would come, he would have watched and not allowed his house to be broken into. 

"Therefore, you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect." Matthew 24:36-44

However, if, in contradiction of that (While believing in the literal truth of it, don't ask me how), you believe that you are possessed of special knowledge as to pending Judgment, I'd like to buy your house.

You're sure you're going to be taken up in this Rapture, so you won't need it.  I'll offer $500, which you can use for a fantastic, all-trimmings meal at any restaurant, or give to some homeless person to make his last hours on this fragile Earth happy, complete to a Bible and sermon of your choice.  It's your money.

In exchange, I wish to take possession of the house that you won't need and won't exist.

I'd like to sign this contract on 17 May, allowing three days for it to become final (per IN law), and you may keep possession until 2359:59 on 21 May.

Midnight of 22 May, I'm showing up for my house (Which will no longer exist due to Judgment Day) (No, I'm not interested in debating Judgment Day vs the later End of the Earth.  The point is, you'll be in heaven and won't need it.)

So pony up.  I've got a cashier's check waiting.

If you won't, then maybe your faith is just a wee bit lacking?

Funny...mine's not.

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This Is It

http://www.unclehugo.com/prod/ah-williamson-michael.php They just emailed about the signing sheets, so anyone who's been waiting until the last minute, it was 23 minutes ago.

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I DID write about hunting AQ in Pakistan way back in 2005...

I DID write about hunting AQ in Pakistan way back in 2005, in "The Scope of Justice." http://www.amazon.com/Scope-Justice-Michael-Z-Williamson/dp/0060565241/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpi_8 Please ignore the hype from the publisher.  It's more sophisticated than they make it out to be.

Granted, I don't think it was much of a surprise to anyone in operations.

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How Conspiracy Theories Start

"Okay, Mr President. We have your long form birth certificate, but there's a problem."

"What's that?"

"It's faded, sir.  Badly.  It'll show with forensics exams, but scans are almost invisible."

"Well, we all know it's legit."

"Of COURSE we do, sir."  wink.

"No, no, it's legit.  My father paid a lot of money to have that and my birth announcement made up, in case I ever ran for president and needed them.  They're as legit as Kerry's purple hearts."

"Yes, sir."

"What I mean is, can you just clean up the scan?"

"I'm sure that's not a problem, sir."

LATER:

"Dammit, Carney (why do you have that name?), someone did a crappy job in Photoshop.  Even people who weren't against me are questioning it.  What are these 'artifacts' they talk about?"

"I don't know, sir. We hired some college kid."

"Computers, Carney. You hire high school kids for that kind of work.  How can we fix this?"

"I've got it, sir."

"Yes, Daley?"

"We'll announce that 0sama bin Laden is dead.  Then we'll say he was buried at sea.  No need to document the body.  That way, we draw attention back away from the birther issue, we can create the 'deather' issue, so your opposition looks even more loony."

"That's good. When should we do it?"

"Well, sir, if you wait until tonight at just after 9, we can pre-empt Trump's show and make him look like an impotent dweeb as well."

"Excellent.  Do it."

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What I've Been Up To, Instead of Blogging

And it's been a busy winter.

In June, I have a new adventure short going up on Baen's site.  In progress.

In August:

Paperback reprint of Do Unto Others...

Short story "Heads You Lose" in Janet Morris' Lawyers in Hell

"Battle's Tide" in "Clan of the Claw," containing 4 novellas by me, John Ringo, Harry Turtledove and S.M. Stirling

In September:

my new hardcover, "Rogue"

In December:

"The Bride's Task" in the next Valdemar anthology.  Cowritten with my wife, Gail Sanders.

Sometime late in the year: 

British antho with a reprint of my story, "The Price." (pending)

Sometime early next year:

afterword for the Baen reprint of Heinlein's Starman Jones

Sometime next year: 

My novel, "When Diplomacy Fails..." (in progress)

TV:

"When Aliens Attack," Discovery Channel, sometime this summer.  I was military adviser and armorer.  Every weapon you see on screen is mine.  The refugee girl hauling the alien artifact around the Midwest is my daughter.:)  My son's an extra.

Downrange TV:  Two episodes on budget firearms and blades, in discussion.

Three collaborative novels in various stages from plot to 80%.

I CAN QUIT ANYTIME I WANT TO!

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Advance Orders, Rogue, Signed Edition

Advance orders for the signed edition of Rogue are about to close. If you want one, you need to reserve now. You won't be charged until they ship, but there's no "picking one up later." I get signed sheets. Sheets go into books at the bindery. That's it. Dial fast.
http://www.unclehugo.com/prod/ah-williamson-michael.php

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SWORD!

http://s254.photobucket.com/albums/hh119/mzmadmike/Blades/HenrysBlades/Spanish/

Spanish 1907 Puerto Seguro cavalry saber.

The plain hilt is indicative of being rearsenaled under Franco.

The slight bend to the right is indicative of being used to stab someone, from horseback.

The etching is consistent with blood.

This sword may very well have been used to run commies through in the Spanish Civil War.

Current bid is $250.

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Writing Update.

Have submitted my revised draft of "Battle's Tide" for the "Clan of the Claw" shared universe. Turtledove, Stirling, myself, Ringo and Nye. Alternate pre-history (Bronze Age).

Imagine a world where the Chicxulub impact never happened, and the dinosaurs continued to evolve, while mammals developed alongside them.

Imagine them at Bronze Age levels of technology, 5 million years ago when the Mediterranean flooded.

When the felinoid mrem must fight the saurian liskash for territory, pitting tribal dance magic against psionics, and tactics against mass.

So when you come across the cheerleading tigers with spears, that's mine.

Specifically, bagpiping, jazz breakdancing, cheerleading six foot tigers with javelins, spears and fighting claws.

Lizard. It's what's for dinner.

http://www.amazon.com/Exiled-Clan-Claw-Book-One/dp/1439134413/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1299294988&sr=1-1


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Copying From One Of My Fans

"The Weapon", a book focusing on the struggle between an increasingly
restrictive world government and a colony based upon libertarian (some
might say anarchic) philosophy, was published in late 2005. It's author,
Michael Williamson, maintains that he thought he had been writing
fiction when he wrote this (emphasis mine):


{blockquote}

"If it's not in your training, don't try to do anything in case you make
it worse." No one is allowed surgical tools, weapons or {b}fire
extinguishers{/b} in their homes or cars because "such things are best left
to professionals."

{/blockquote}


And yet here we are, a bit more than half a decade later, and this triumph
of the Nanny State now comes from Great Britain.

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/11...s-a-fire-safety-hazard

{blockquote}

Fire extinguishers could be removed from communal areas in flats
throughout the country because they are a safety hazard, it has emerged.

The life-saving devices encourage untrained people to fight a fire
rather than leave the building, risk assessors in Bournemouth decided.

{snip}

Mike Edwards, who lives in one of the blocks, said he was 'absolutely
staggered' that risk experts thought it a safe decision.

'They are worried we will point them in the wrong direction or use the
wrong extinguishers,' he said


{/blockquote}


Oh ... "The Weapon", published by Baen, may be found here
http://www.webscription.net/p-463-the-weapon.aspx but you should
probably read it's predecessor "Freehold"
(http://www.webscription.net/p-162-freehold.aspx) first.

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Home Budget, Government Style

We've got about $106,000 coming in this year, and if we buy all the guns I want, a new car, pay the mortgages and utilities, upgrade some stuff and hire a landscaper it will only cost $275,000, so I told Gail I'll cut the budget by $400 and not buy another GLOCK. We'll borrow $50,000 to pay the landscaper and the interest on the mortgage, and figure our daughter will pay it back when she's 18.

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