T.L. Gray's Blog, page 76
January 9, 2012
Great Expectations
I know that not everybody is the same in this world. We're as different from one another as there are various shades of color. However, we're also similar in the fact that though we're different hues, we all belong in the Color family. In our variances we each see the world around us differently, handle problems in a diverse way, and think about things in countless variations. Some of us are pragmatic, while others are very carefree. I'm more on the pragmatic side. Though I have a huge imagination and believe in the impossible, I tend to side with plausible 9 out of 10 times. That sounds conflicting coming from a fiction novelist.
Being pragmatic as I am, I often stress the importance of personal responsibility in every aspect of life; faith, politics, relationships, career, finance and etc. I strongly believe that we should look to our self before we start pointing fingers at someone else; that we should focus on our own maturity, our own responsibility and our own actions before we even consider judging someone or something else. I believe self-inspection and a little bit of honest evaluation would fix 99% of the problems we all face today. Change starts within, and then moves outward. Nothing irks me more than sympathetics, empathizers and enablers. This includes how I think and treat myself.
Sometimes I feel so weighed down by all the responsibility I carry on my shoulders; I want to be a child again and allow everything to be someone else' responsibility. Of course, with a lack of responsibility comes a lack of freedom. I'd rather carry a burden than be bound. So I trudge on, facing all that life throws at me to the best of my ability.
The past few years have been extremely hard. I've been going through a growing process. I took a stand and stepped out in blind faith to be led and directed into the land of the unknown. I never knew what the day held for me or what difficulties I'd have to face. The only thing I knew was the direction I was go; all other details were obscure. Many days I found a brick wall standing in my way. As much as I wanted to veer to the left or right, to change course and even run back to what I knew and was familiar, determination ruled the day and I stood – even if I couldn't move one inch forward.
As a person of productivity, a hard worker, and a fighter, standing still when everything moved around me, was the hardest things I've ever had to do. My friends, my family, my colleagues and many of my fellow writers couldn't understand the reasons for my decisions. None of it made any natural sense. The natural thing to do was change course, adapt to the changes, and keep moving. The supernatural thing to do was to stand, have faith, and refuse to allow the surrounding circumstances and my feelings dictate my decisions. I didn't have any answers. All I had was one direction – one instruction –one objective. Believe me – I was scared and bombarded with doubt on a daily basis. I wanted to please my family, friends, colleagues and co-workers, and constantly felt like I was letting everyone down by my indecision to move – to do something.
Well, this morning in my time of prayer and meditation I've had a breakthrough. The wall in front of me has crumbled. My time to move forward has come and I can't express the excitement that is bubbling within me. My mind has only comprehended a small portion of that excitement, but as the days ahead open to me and the 'good' of my harvest becomes evident, I'm sure that excitement will only grow. It's easy for me to expect the hardships, the rebukes, the chastisements and the growing pains of developing into maturity, but I had forgotten that there is also a harvest, a blessing, a favor, a joy and a desire to give good gifts. Just as it delights me to give my children the desires of their hearts, so does my Father desire to do the same for me. It's my time. It's my season. I can't wait to enjoy every single moment. I'm so excited to receive what's in store for me. I plan to relish every moment because I know it delights my Father to see me enjoy the gifts He gives me. I have such great expectations.
Being pragmatic as I am, I often stress the importance of personal responsibility in every aspect of life; faith, politics, relationships, career, finance and etc. I strongly believe that we should look to our self before we start pointing fingers at someone else; that we should focus on our own maturity, our own responsibility and our own actions before we even consider judging someone or something else. I believe self-inspection and a little bit of honest evaluation would fix 99% of the problems we all face today. Change starts within, and then moves outward. Nothing irks me more than sympathetics, empathizers and enablers. This includes how I think and treat myself.
Sometimes I feel so weighed down by all the responsibility I carry on my shoulders; I want to be a child again and allow everything to be someone else' responsibility. Of course, with a lack of responsibility comes a lack of freedom. I'd rather carry a burden than be bound. So I trudge on, facing all that life throws at me to the best of my ability.
The past few years have been extremely hard. I've been going through a growing process. I took a stand and stepped out in blind faith to be led and directed into the land of the unknown. I never knew what the day held for me or what difficulties I'd have to face. The only thing I knew was the direction I was go; all other details were obscure. Many days I found a brick wall standing in my way. As much as I wanted to veer to the left or right, to change course and even run back to what I knew and was familiar, determination ruled the day and I stood – even if I couldn't move one inch forward.
As a person of productivity, a hard worker, and a fighter, standing still when everything moved around me, was the hardest things I've ever had to do. My friends, my family, my colleagues and many of my fellow writers couldn't understand the reasons for my decisions. None of it made any natural sense. The natural thing to do was change course, adapt to the changes, and keep moving. The supernatural thing to do was to stand, have faith, and refuse to allow the surrounding circumstances and my feelings dictate my decisions. I didn't have any answers. All I had was one direction – one instruction –one objective. Believe me – I was scared and bombarded with doubt on a daily basis. I wanted to please my family, friends, colleagues and co-workers, and constantly felt like I was letting everyone down by my indecision to move – to do something.
Well, this morning in my time of prayer and meditation I've had a breakthrough. The wall in front of me has crumbled. My time to move forward has come and I can't express the excitement that is bubbling within me. My mind has only comprehended a small portion of that excitement, but as the days ahead open to me and the 'good' of my harvest becomes evident, I'm sure that excitement will only grow. It's easy for me to expect the hardships, the rebukes, the chastisements and the growing pains of developing into maturity, but I had forgotten that there is also a harvest, a blessing, a favor, a joy and a desire to give good gifts. Just as it delights me to give my children the desires of their hearts, so does my Father desire to do the same for me. It's my time. It's my season. I can't wait to enjoy every single moment. I'm so excited to receive what's in store for me. I plan to relish every moment because I know it delights my Father to see me enjoy the gifts He gives me. I have such great expectations.
January 6, 2012
Getting Back Into the Groove - Random Thoughts
While I love all the merriment of the holiday season, I love getting back into some semblance of routine even more. I'm a creature of habit - and this coming from someone that doesn't have a set routine. Every day is a new experience, a new test, filled with new requirements, expectations and plans. But it's also filled doing what I love - writing, reading, marketing, encouraging, blogging, editing, updating, scheduling, meeting new people, meeting old friends and surrounding myself with those I love and admire (not necessarily both at the same time). Many of these days I spend most of the time alone with my imagination, but that's okay - that's a great place to be too.
Even though I'm over-weight by the world's standards, I find that I'm happy with who I am and what I weigh. I'm healthy, I'm active, I'm mobile. I get up every morning (well - at least 5 days a week) and tackle my exercise routine with the same zeal as a medieval warrior. While the first twenty minutes are painful and sluggish - the adrenaline rush of the last forty minutes is worth every bit of the effort - as well as the pound or two drop at the end of the week. I'm multitasking - killing two birds with one stone by reading the latest novel on my Kindle as I burn calories on the treadmill. This helps me take my mind off the strain of my muscles as I exercise. I also love taking a long walk as I enjoy the beauty and majesty of nature.
Blogging is my brain exercise. No matter the subject - the practice gets all my synapses sparking, sharpens my vocabulary and speeds my typing so that when I start tackling the editing beast of my novels, I'm wielding writing weapons and stand ready for battle. Writing is like any defensive measure - it requires much practice and application. I rarely suffer from 'writer's block' because I never stop wielding my writing sword.
Not all writers are blessed and successful the first time out the gate like a Stephanie Meyer or J.K. Rowling. Most of us have to do the majority of our own marketing, selling and promotion. This takes a LOT of time and effort. You've got to really believe in yourself. You don't have to know everything; believe me - you'll learn as you go - but you do have to have a determination of steel. Never give up.
And a final thought for the day: Not everyone measures success in the same degree. Some writers would measure success in royalties, others in books sold. If I've been able to inspire one person to chase their dreams, take a second look at what they thought they believed or understood, or sparked one imagination to believe in themselves and what they can accomplish, then I'm a total success. THAT is what I strive for on a daily basis. THAT is the foundation to everything I write.
Those are some random thoughts for the day. I hope you've been able to find at least one bit of encouragement from some of it.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
Even though I'm over-weight by the world's standards, I find that I'm happy with who I am and what I weigh. I'm healthy, I'm active, I'm mobile. I get up every morning (well - at least 5 days a week) and tackle my exercise routine with the same zeal as a medieval warrior. While the first twenty minutes are painful and sluggish - the adrenaline rush of the last forty minutes is worth every bit of the effort - as well as the pound or two drop at the end of the week. I'm multitasking - killing two birds with one stone by reading the latest novel on my Kindle as I burn calories on the treadmill. This helps me take my mind off the strain of my muscles as I exercise. I also love taking a long walk as I enjoy the beauty and majesty of nature.
Blogging is my brain exercise. No matter the subject - the practice gets all my synapses sparking, sharpens my vocabulary and speeds my typing so that when I start tackling the editing beast of my novels, I'm wielding writing weapons and stand ready for battle. Writing is like any defensive measure - it requires much practice and application. I rarely suffer from 'writer's block' because I never stop wielding my writing sword.
Not all writers are blessed and successful the first time out the gate like a Stephanie Meyer or J.K. Rowling. Most of us have to do the majority of our own marketing, selling and promotion. This takes a LOT of time and effort. You've got to really believe in yourself. You don't have to know everything; believe me - you'll learn as you go - but you do have to have a determination of steel. Never give up.
And a final thought for the day: Not everyone measures success in the same degree. Some writers would measure success in royalties, others in books sold. If I've been able to inspire one person to chase their dreams, take a second look at what they thought they believed or understood, or sparked one imagination to believe in themselves and what they can accomplish, then I'm a total success. THAT is what I strive for on a daily basis. THAT is the foundation to everything I write.
Those are some random thoughts for the day. I hope you've been able to find at least one bit of encouragement from some of it.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
January 5, 2012
Grocery Store Gripe
Standing in line at the grocery store this morning I overheard a conversation between this young couple that made me want to cringe. It took only a few moments for them to really cause my blood to boil. I didn't realize how angry I had become until I arrived home and found myself vigorously scrubbing out the refrigerator. I always clean when I'm angry. I took a deep breath, calmly put away the groceries in my freshly clean refrigerator and sat down to have a hot cup of coffee.
As I meditated and focused on all the good things in my life, I felt tension leave my shoulders and the heaviness of anger melt away. I then took a stab and pondered the reason I had became so upset in the first place. I'm not twenty-five anymore - full of passion and energy; able to fly off the handle on a moments whim; being carried away by my emotions. I'm 40. I'm more mature, more grown-up, more in control of my emotions. At least that's what I tell myself.
So, why did I get so angry? I'm not going to go into everything this young couple had to say, but I will tell you the gist of the argument. It was full of selfish whining, constant complaining, back-stabbing bickering, outright blaming everyone but themselves, lack of appreciation and unbridled angst. In other words... hypocrisy dripped off their lips like sweet honey - sending a stab through my patience like a hot knife through butter.
I understand the world's not fair. Crap happens all the time. However, in my 'old age' I've come to discover that most of the time the crap we deal with in our lives we brought on ourselves. How we feel about ourselves is our doing as well. Sure, OTHER people do stuff to us; they use us, abuse us, talk bad about us, take advantage of us, and outright are mean... BUT - THEIR actions don't dictate who we are or how we respond. OUR actions make all the difference.I've learned to quit judging people by the words they say alone. I watch them, study them and see what they do. Because many say one thing, but their actions prove contrary to their words - proving their own deception.
I had to stand in line for about fifteen minutes and listen to two young people complain about how horrible their 'strict' middle class parents were because they wouldn't allow them to do anything (I'm a strict parent so I'm assuming they couldn't drink, smoke, and cuss like a sailor, had to show respect to their elders, say "please" and "thank you" and refrain from having wanton sex with everyone that looked at them as their hormones raged) and MADE them go to school (perhaps being stupid, illiterate and lazy was the better course - seems like that forced education and the strict rules didn't do them any good). From their colorful language, I dared to guess they didn't have a drug problem (meaning - being dragged to church), either. We all know how horrible and abusive it is to believe in a power and understanding higher than our own, that encourages us to be obedient, good, kind, merciful, and giving. Heck, believing in Magicians, Vampires, Celebrities and Aliens is hard enough, and I don't even have to mention how exhausting it is believing in NOTHING and that everything in existence is a big bang of an accidental mistake. I mean, Oh my Amoeba! If there's no God then we've only got ourselves to blame. How is that going to work when we're too busy blaming everyone else?
We blame our parents, we blame our government, we blame our teachers, we blame our co-workers and fellow students, and be blame religion. But, if we're a cosmic accident - how can we blame God? I mean, the world is a mess because of THEM, whoever they are. We're just lowly victims of their bad decisions. Surely WE'RE not to blame. I still haven't figured out how to separate "THEM" from "US", but I'm sure I'll discover the formula soon enough.
Needless to say, as the conversation progressed and the young woman constantly ignored the crying baby in her arms and the young man kept putting back various items his toddler kept picking off the shelves, their angst only grew in passion. Next in the blame line came politicians and the issue of paying taxes. The young man stated that he was really worried about the government soon forcing people to take drug tests when applying for welfare. He expressed how that was a form of slavery and that those food stamps and welfare checks were owed to the people because they were Americans, even if they're here illegally; that it was the government's responsibility to take care of the poor. The young woman replied that these new welfare laws was the government over-reaching it's authority; that it was none of their business what a person did in the privacy of their own home. I wondered, which was it; too much or too little of government interference? They want the government to take care of them (feed them, clothe them, and provide medical help for them), but then also mind their own business (don't tell them what they can do behind closed doors). Don't they eat, dress and throw-up behind closed doors?
I'm not even going to get into what they had to say about paying taxes and grumbling how it's not fair the young man didn't qualify for unemployment benefits having only worked for three weeks at his last job. Let me just say I blushed at their vehement expressions of unfairness. I couldn't quite understand their train of thought until their $348.74 grocery total was rendered by the cashier and they handed over their Food Stamp card and WIC vouchers. Of course they couldn't pay for their cigarettes and beer with those, so they had to pay cash in a separate transaction. I'd venture a wager they think it's wrong and unethical to make them pay for those items; that's a targeted and prejudiced tax against the poor.
The young girl griped about the slowness of the elderly bagger, chastising him from putting boxed items in the same bag as her cheese, and never even looked up at the smiling cashier who handed the young girl her receipt and politely said, "Thank You". As the complaining couple pulled away from the check-out I said, "You're welcome." The young man scrunched his brows at me and wrinkled his nose as if he smelled something putrid. I'm sure he had no idea what I meant. He probably thought I was thanking him for loudly sharing his enlightened views.
I knew no thanks was coming from them. What should they be thanking ME for, you ask? Well seeing as how I dutifully pay my taxes, and have done so for many, many years, I essentially bought their groceries, including their beer and alcohol. More than likely I am currently or will be in the near future paying for their children's education, health and welfare. I'm also pretty sure that neither of them realized when they were vehemently putting down Uncle Sam and rattling on about their entitlements, that Uncle Sam stood right behind them.
Unless it isn't clear, let me state the obvious. I'm Uncle Sam. It is MY (and all the other Uncle Sams out there) hard-earned money that pays for all these entitlement and social programs. I pay for the roads, schools, police and fire departments, our military, our hospitals and even our politicians. So if you don't like me, want to steal and take advantage of me, complain about me...THEN STOP driving on my roads, don't send your kids to my schools, don't call my police when you're in trouble, don't expect my fire department to save your house or life, don't go to my hospitals, don't accept my hand outs, go fight your own wars and don't vote.
I'm also a strict parent. I care about my children and their well-being. I set down rules and regulations BECAUSE I care and want the best possible life for them. I make them go to school and study hard to receive the best education they can obtain.
Worst of all... I'm a Christian. I believe in something or someone higher than myself; a being that loves me and my family and cares about me and wants me to have the best possible life (sounds like a strict parent to me.) My children are not babies anymore and are old enough to make their own decisions about God. Some believe as I do, some don't. It's their choice - and I thank God that I live in a country where they have the freedom to make that choice.
I'm not a rich fat heiress sitting on her gold throne. I'm a middle-class mother who has worked hard her whole life, who has struggled in a man's world, who has studied hard, and has a giving heart. I feed the hungry, I care about the animals, environment and future and do what I can, when I can. I visit the elderly and believe my elders have earned my respect, and support their needs. My family is honest, hard-working and diligent, yet due to the high cost of living we can't afford but very few groceries a week, very limited amount of gas for our fuel economy vehicles - often car pooling, and had to cut out health insurance altogether because the new HMO policy (thanks to Obama Care) increased so much we couldn't afford the extra $80 a month to be taken out of our paychecks. What good is the additional health coverage for my 21 year old son when can't afford coverage at all for anyone? We don't go to the movies much anymore, we hardly ever go out to eat and we buy our clothes at the discount stores or wait till we can catch an extreme sale. Unless something changes, I'm soon looking about scaling back to basic cable and losing all but basic functions on my Internet and cell phone. So forgive me if I'm just a little bit fed up with people who are constantly putting me down.
A friend of mine recently brought it to my attention about how wrong it was that the world thought it had free reign to dump on blondes with their constant prattling of blonde jokes. I'm one of them. I've always loved a good blonde joke and never really thought about how blondes might have felt. Since then, I quit telling blonde jokes and have since turned the same jokes into "TWILOCS" (Those Who Insanely Lack an Ounce of Common Sense). Yet the world seems to think it's open season to degrade fat people and Christians. I'm out of luck on both.
Well, that's my grocery store gripe for this morning. I had gotten over it, but then I wrote this blog and it all came rushing back. I suppose it's time I went and had another cup of coffee and another half hour of meditation to simmer down. After all... I'm responsible for my own attitude - or else I haven't got the memo yet from my government telling me it's their job.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
As I meditated and focused on all the good things in my life, I felt tension leave my shoulders and the heaviness of anger melt away. I then took a stab and pondered the reason I had became so upset in the first place. I'm not twenty-five anymore - full of passion and energy; able to fly off the handle on a moments whim; being carried away by my emotions. I'm 40. I'm more mature, more grown-up, more in control of my emotions. At least that's what I tell myself.
So, why did I get so angry? I'm not going to go into everything this young couple had to say, but I will tell you the gist of the argument. It was full of selfish whining, constant complaining, back-stabbing bickering, outright blaming everyone but themselves, lack of appreciation and unbridled angst. In other words... hypocrisy dripped off their lips like sweet honey - sending a stab through my patience like a hot knife through butter.
I understand the world's not fair. Crap happens all the time. However, in my 'old age' I've come to discover that most of the time the crap we deal with in our lives we brought on ourselves. How we feel about ourselves is our doing as well. Sure, OTHER people do stuff to us; they use us, abuse us, talk bad about us, take advantage of us, and outright are mean... BUT - THEIR actions don't dictate who we are or how we respond. OUR actions make all the difference.I've learned to quit judging people by the words they say alone. I watch them, study them and see what they do. Because many say one thing, but their actions prove contrary to their words - proving their own deception.
I had to stand in line for about fifteen minutes and listen to two young people complain about how horrible their 'strict' middle class parents were because they wouldn't allow them to do anything (I'm a strict parent so I'm assuming they couldn't drink, smoke, and cuss like a sailor, had to show respect to their elders, say "please" and "thank you" and refrain from having wanton sex with everyone that looked at them as their hormones raged) and MADE them go to school (perhaps being stupid, illiterate and lazy was the better course - seems like that forced education and the strict rules didn't do them any good). From their colorful language, I dared to guess they didn't have a drug problem (meaning - being dragged to church), either. We all know how horrible and abusive it is to believe in a power and understanding higher than our own, that encourages us to be obedient, good, kind, merciful, and giving. Heck, believing in Magicians, Vampires, Celebrities and Aliens is hard enough, and I don't even have to mention how exhausting it is believing in NOTHING and that everything in existence is a big bang of an accidental mistake. I mean, Oh my Amoeba! If there's no God then we've only got ourselves to blame. How is that going to work when we're too busy blaming everyone else?
We blame our parents, we blame our government, we blame our teachers, we blame our co-workers and fellow students, and be blame religion. But, if we're a cosmic accident - how can we blame God? I mean, the world is a mess because of THEM, whoever they are. We're just lowly victims of their bad decisions. Surely WE'RE not to blame. I still haven't figured out how to separate "THEM" from "US", but I'm sure I'll discover the formula soon enough.
Needless to say, as the conversation progressed and the young woman constantly ignored the crying baby in her arms and the young man kept putting back various items his toddler kept picking off the shelves, their angst only grew in passion. Next in the blame line came politicians and the issue of paying taxes. The young man stated that he was really worried about the government soon forcing people to take drug tests when applying for welfare. He expressed how that was a form of slavery and that those food stamps and welfare checks were owed to the people because they were Americans, even if they're here illegally; that it was the government's responsibility to take care of the poor. The young woman replied that these new welfare laws was the government over-reaching it's authority; that it was none of their business what a person did in the privacy of their own home. I wondered, which was it; too much or too little of government interference? They want the government to take care of them (feed them, clothe them, and provide medical help for them), but then also mind their own business (don't tell them what they can do behind closed doors). Don't they eat, dress and throw-up behind closed doors?
I'm not even going to get into what they had to say about paying taxes and grumbling how it's not fair the young man didn't qualify for unemployment benefits having only worked for three weeks at his last job. Let me just say I blushed at their vehement expressions of unfairness. I couldn't quite understand their train of thought until their $348.74 grocery total was rendered by the cashier and they handed over their Food Stamp card and WIC vouchers. Of course they couldn't pay for their cigarettes and beer with those, so they had to pay cash in a separate transaction. I'd venture a wager they think it's wrong and unethical to make them pay for those items; that's a targeted and prejudiced tax against the poor.
The young girl griped about the slowness of the elderly bagger, chastising him from putting boxed items in the same bag as her cheese, and never even looked up at the smiling cashier who handed the young girl her receipt and politely said, "Thank You". As the complaining couple pulled away from the check-out I said, "You're welcome." The young man scrunched his brows at me and wrinkled his nose as if he smelled something putrid. I'm sure he had no idea what I meant. He probably thought I was thanking him for loudly sharing his enlightened views.
I knew no thanks was coming from them. What should they be thanking ME for, you ask? Well seeing as how I dutifully pay my taxes, and have done so for many, many years, I essentially bought their groceries, including their beer and alcohol. More than likely I am currently or will be in the near future paying for their children's education, health and welfare. I'm also pretty sure that neither of them realized when they were vehemently putting down Uncle Sam and rattling on about their entitlements, that Uncle Sam stood right behind them.
Unless it isn't clear, let me state the obvious. I'm Uncle Sam. It is MY (and all the other Uncle Sams out there) hard-earned money that pays for all these entitlement and social programs. I pay for the roads, schools, police and fire departments, our military, our hospitals and even our politicians. So if you don't like me, want to steal and take advantage of me, complain about me...THEN STOP driving on my roads, don't send your kids to my schools, don't call my police when you're in trouble, don't expect my fire department to save your house or life, don't go to my hospitals, don't accept my hand outs, go fight your own wars and don't vote.
I'm also a strict parent. I care about my children and their well-being. I set down rules and regulations BECAUSE I care and want the best possible life for them. I make them go to school and study hard to receive the best education they can obtain.
Worst of all... I'm a Christian. I believe in something or someone higher than myself; a being that loves me and my family and cares about me and wants me to have the best possible life (sounds like a strict parent to me.) My children are not babies anymore and are old enough to make their own decisions about God. Some believe as I do, some don't. It's their choice - and I thank God that I live in a country where they have the freedom to make that choice.
I'm not a rich fat heiress sitting on her gold throne. I'm a middle-class mother who has worked hard her whole life, who has struggled in a man's world, who has studied hard, and has a giving heart. I feed the hungry, I care about the animals, environment and future and do what I can, when I can. I visit the elderly and believe my elders have earned my respect, and support their needs. My family is honest, hard-working and diligent, yet due to the high cost of living we can't afford but very few groceries a week, very limited amount of gas for our fuel economy vehicles - often car pooling, and had to cut out health insurance altogether because the new HMO policy (thanks to Obama Care) increased so much we couldn't afford the extra $80 a month to be taken out of our paychecks. What good is the additional health coverage for my 21 year old son when can't afford coverage at all for anyone? We don't go to the movies much anymore, we hardly ever go out to eat and we buy our clothes at the discount stores or wait till we can catch an extreme sale. Unless something changes, I'm soon looking about scaling back to basic cable and losing all but basic functions on my Internet and cell phone. So forgive me if I'm just a little bit fed up with people who are constantly putting me down.
A friend of mine recently brought it to my attention about how wrong it was that the world thought it had free reign to dump on blondes with their constant prattling of blonde jokes. I'm one of them. I've always loved a good blonde joke and never really thought about how blondes might have felt. Since then, I quit telling blonde jokes and have since turned the same jokes into "TWILOCS" (Those Who Insanely Lack an Ounce of Common Sense). Yet the world seems to think it's open season to degrade fat people and Christians. I'm out of luck on both.
Well, that's my grocery store gripe for this morning. I had gotten over it, but then I wrote this blog and it all came rushing back. I suppose it's time I went and had another cup of coffee and another half hour of meditation to simmer down. After all... I'm responsible for my own attitude - or else I haven't got the memo yet from my government telling me it's their job.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
January 3, 2012
Congratulations Give-A-Way Winners!
Thank you to everyone who registered to win 1of 5 free copies of
Keezy's 10 Awesome Rules for Teenaged Dating.
There were almost 400 entrants for the give-a-way. That was nearly 400 people who were interested enough in reading Keezy's story to take the time to enter, and that is the true treasure of this whole experience.
So here's a big "CONGRATULATIONS" to all the winners. Your autographed copies will be shipping out this week.
Our winners are:
Brittany Ziegmann from Rapid City, South DakotaLisa Fosburg from Mossy Rock, Washington Randy Smith from Louisville, KentuckyStacy Robinson from Bath, MichiganBlaire Johnson from Cape Coral, FloridaI really hope you all enjoy Keezy's adventure and are able to apply some of her advice into your everyday lives. I can't wait to read and share your reviews with my readers.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
So here's a big "CONGRATULATIONS" to all the winners. Your autographed copies will be shipping out this week.
Our winners are:
Brittany Ziegmann from Rapid City, South DakotaLisa Fosburg from Mossy Rock, Washington Randy Smith from Louisville, KentuckyStacy Robinson from Bath, MichiganBlaire Johnson from Cape Coral, FloridaI really hope you all enjoy Keezy's adventure and are able to apply some of her advice into your everyday lives. I can't wait to read and share your reviews with my readers.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
December 28, 2011
Truth and Deception
In every-thing, every-decision, every-choice there is the Truth, and then there is our knowing, understanding and revelation of that truth. We can sometimes find that Truth, but often we only know small bits of it – sort of like how we only know small bits of the workings of our universe. Bottom line: we only know part of anything and to believe different is naive and a form of deception.
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:9 – "For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when that which is perfect has come (the revelation of the Holy Spirit), then that which in in part will be done away. When I was child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I am known."
When we are Born-Again of Spirit and Truth, we enter in the BEGINNING stages of our training and knowledge, being relegated to children of the Faith. We are wowed by the revelations, teachings and truths we receive, which are only first-level teachings, and begin to build our little boxes of faith – expelling anything outside our boxes. Most often these lessons consists of our dos and don'ts, our habits, our environments, our friends, our practices – what we watch, what we sow into our lives, what we cut out of our lives, and begin to see the world differently – in black and white. The problem with all this: the world isn't black and white, nor is it various shades of gray. It's colorful, with every hue and brilliance imaginable. With our new found fragments of revelations of Truth, come also bits of misconception and deception. Just as much as the Truth is filled with power, so too are the deceptions.
King Solomon begs for understanding and wisdom all through the book of Proverbs. Read Chapters 1-4.There is clear warning of the dangers of simply being alive in a sinful world, and ignorance of the Truth is the weapon often used for our destruction.
When we are babes in the Faith, we are told of the might, majesty and power of God. We're told to trust in Him, believe in Him and run to Him for our provision, safety and deliverance. As a child, we needed Him completely. However, as we grow, as we are nurtured and instructed, we MUST come to point when we have to begin exercising the doctrines, beliefs and truths we have been instructed – we MUST be tested. Until we are tested, EVERYTHING we believe is only theory.
You don't know how many times I've discovered what I truly believed. I thought I fully believed and understood certain truths – was fully convinced – and knew enough Scripture to back them up. When the storms came, what I believed was washed away with the tide, and only the Truth remained. I thank God that I had been securely tied to a solid foundation or I would have been swept away. This is what happens to many people who fall away from the Faith. This is why there are more churches closing faster than bookstores; why more pastors are stepping down from their calling, and why more people walk around with these big holes in their hearts feeling a failure, dejected and disappointing. We have deceived ourselves in many areas of understanding. The Holy Spirit will purge those deceptions out of lives one way or the other – through testing, through trials and through tribulations.
I've noticed that most people believe God is some great magician – that if they say certain words, they go through certain motions and believe – God will move on their behalf, wiping away their troubles with a wave of His mighty hand, clean up their mess in a poof of smoke, and remove all responsibility or recourse of their actions. It's nice as a child to believe in magic, but the God I've come to know doesn't perform magic. He's not my fairy Godfather to make all my wishes and dreams come true or have the answer to make all my problems disappear. He is my Father. He understands this world is a cruel and sinful place and because of His love for me, He doesn't solve my problems FOR me, but makes me face them. He uses discipline, chastisement, rebuke and Truth to instruct me. (Hebrews 12:6) He encourages me, empowers me, protects me and shields me from the dangers that surround me. He equips me with the weapons I needs for protection and then trains me how to fight, defend, and strike at my enemies. He has given me the Holy Spirit – who reveals the Truth of this age. He searches all things, especially the deep things of God. No one but the Holy Spirit knows the things of God. With the Holy Spirit, we will have access to the knowledge of the Truth. The Holy Spirit compares the natural things (wisdom) of this world with the spiritual things (wisdom) of God. (1 Corinthians 2:6-16)
We deceive ourselves more than the enemy deceives us. When we falter under our own self-deception, we then blame God, the Church, or our brothers and sisters for our mistake. God NEVER promises that our lives are always going to be 'peachy'. In fact, He constantly warns us to be ready, to be prepared, and to be equipped to stand in the midst of our storms. In Ecclesiastes 3 we learn there is a time for everything. Don't deceive yourselves into thinking that tragedy will escape us as long as we walk the straight and narrow. On the contrary - the more mature we grow, the stronger we become - the bigger the storm.
What I've come to understand is this: We cannot control what happens to us; what storms we enter, by what trials we are tested, or what tribulations come upon us. No matter how faithful or how disobedient we choose to be, we have NO control. We sow seeds of life or death into our lives with every thought, decision and action we take; and we reap the consequences of those seeds – no matter how much grace and forgiveness we receive. Grace and forgiveness from repentance covers the spiritual price (spiritual death) of our actions, not the natural consequences. This is a truth; most often being the reasoning behind many of our hardships. However, we Christians are the most judgmental of one another – (as Job's friends were of him) determining in our own partial understanding that people going through such trials and tribulations in their lives MUST be the result of sin and disobedience – a judgment of God, instead of a growing pain sent by God. We deceive ourselves with our godly knowing of good and evil into thinking we understand everything – and make judgments against one another. I'm guilty most of all. I'm LEARNING to judge fruit, not circumstances. Hating the sin and its consequences, yet loving the sinner and the available redemption.
I have seen evil happen to the righteous, and good happen to the evil. It rains on both, the good and the evil; the righteous and the sinner. I have seen good parents with rebellious children, and bad parents with faithful children; I have seen a miserable rich man, and a happy poor man. I have seen natural disasters, diseases; accidents and acts of terror take the lives of both the wicked and the righteous. I have witnessed justice and injustice. I have seen those weak of faith receive miracles, healings and deliverances stand beside the faithful who continue to suffer. I have asked "Why is it this way?" This doesn't fit my little box. In my black and white world – the faithful always receives blessings, the victim always receives justice, and the innocent always receives freedom. But that's not always true.
It is not what happens to us or what we experience that makes us who we are: It's how we respond that separates us and sets us apart. It's not material possessions, success in our careers, obedience of our children, our degree of study or our position in church or in life that distinguishes us. It's our ability to forgive when we are abused, to give when we've lost everything, to stand when the world is set against us. It's our ability to HOPE regardless of the situation, to have FAITH in a faithless society, and to LOVE in in a loveless world. What good are a Strong Tower, Fortress of Strength, Weapons of Warfare, and the Armor of God except in the midst of a battle? To believe that our life will always be 'peachy' as long as we're obedient, faithful and attend church on a regular basis (which is the elementary doctrine of most beliefs) – these being the fruit of our labors, is deceptive. While at times we will enjoy peace, prosperity and blessings, we will also experience storms, trials and tribulations – growing pains. These storms will either strengthen us or destroy us. As the Apostle Paul encouraged the Corinthians – let us not deceive ourselves. Seek the Truth and hold onto it with all our might as we bear our storms.
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:9 – "For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when that which is perfect has come (the revelation of the Holy Spirit), then that which in in part will be done away. When I was child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I am known."
When we are Born-Again of Spirit and Truth, we enter in the BEGINNING stages of our training and knowledge, being relegated to children of the Faith. We are wowed by the revelations, teachings and truths we receive, which are only first-level teachings, and begin to build our little boxes of faith – expelling anything outside our boxes. Most often these lessons consists of our dos and don'ts, our habits, our environments, our friends, our practices – what we watch, what we sow into our lives, what we cut out of our lives, and begin to see the world differently – in black and white. The problem with all this: the world isn't black and white, nor is it various shades of gray. It's colorful, with every hue and brilliance imaginable. With our new found fragments of revelations of Truth, come also bits of misconception and deception. Just as much as the Truth is filled with power, so too are the deceptions.
King Solomon begs for understanding and wisdom all through the book of Proverbs. Read Chapters 1-4.There is clear warning of the dangers of simply being alive in a sinful world, and ignorance of the Truth is the weapon often used for our destruction.
When we are babes in the Faith, we are told of the might, majesty and power of God. We're told to trust in Him, believe in Him and run to Him for our provision, safety and deliverance. As a child, we needed Him completely. However, as we grow, as we are nurtured and instructed, we MUST come to point when we have to begin exercising the doctrines, beliefs and truths we have been instructed – we MUST be tested. Until we are tested, EVERYTHING we believe is only theory.
You don't know how many times I've discovered what I truly believed. I thought I fully believed and understood certain truths – was fully convinced – and knew enough Scripture to back them up. When the storms came, what I believed was washed away with the tide, and only the Truth remained. I thank God that I had been securely tied to a solid foundation or I would have been swept away. This is what happens to many people who fall away from the Faith. This is why there are more churches closing faster than bookstores; why more pastors are stepping down from their calling, and why more people walk around with these big holes in their hearts feeling a failure, dejected and disappointing. We have deceived ourselves in many areas of understanding. The Holy Spirit will purge those deceptions out of lives one way or the other – through testing, through trials and through tribulations.
I've noticed that most people believe God is some great magician – that if they say certain words, they go through certain motions and believe – God will move on their behalf, wiping away their troubles with a wave of His mighty hand, clean up their mess in a poof of smoke, and remove all responsibility or recourse of their actions. It's nice as a child to believe in magic, but the God I've come to know doesn't perform magic. He's not my fairy Godfather to make all my wishes and dreams come true or have the answer to make all my problems disappear. He is my Father. He understands this world is a cruel and sinful place and because of His love for me, He doesn't solve my problems FOR me, but makes me face them. He uses discipline, chastisement, rebuke and Truth to instruct me. (Hebrews 12:6) He encourages me, empowers me, protects me and shields me from the dangers that surround me. He equips me with the weapons I needs for protection and then trains me how to fight, defend, and strike at my enemies. He has given me the Holy Spirit – who reveals the Truth of this age. He searches all things, especially the deep things of God. No one but the Holy Spirit knows the things of God. With the Holy Spirit, we will have access to the knowledge of the Truth. The Holy Spirit compares the natural things (wisdom) of this world with the spiritual things (wisdom) of God. (1 Corinthians 2:6-16)
We deceive ourselves more than the enemy deceives us. When we falter under our own self-deception, we then blame God, the Church, or our brothers and sisters for our mistake. God NEVER promises that our lives are always going to be 'peachy'. In fact, He constantly warns us to be ready, to be prepared, and to be equipped to stand in the midst of our storms. In Ecclesiastes 3 we learn there is a time for everything. Don't deceive yourselves into thinking that tragedy will escape us as long as we walk the straight and narrow. On the contrary - the more mature we grow, the stronger we become - the bigger the storm.
What I've come to understand is this: We cannot control what happens to us; what storms we enter, by what trials we are tested, or what tribulations come upon us. No matter how faithful or how disobedient we choose to be, we have NO control. We sow seeds of life or death into our lives with every thought, decision and action we take; and we reap the consequences of those seeds – no matter how much grace and forgiveness we receive. Grace and forgiveness from repentance covers the spiritual price (spiritual death) of our actions, not the natural consequences. This is a truth; most often being the reasoning behind many of our hardships. However, we Christians are the most judgmental of one another – (as Job's friends were of him) determining in our own partial understanding that people going through such trials and tribulations in their lives MUST be the result of sin and disobedience – a judgment of God, instead of a growing pain sent by God. We deceive ourselves with our godly knowing of good and evil into thinking we understand everything – and make judgments against one another. I'm guilty most of all. I'm LEARNING to judge fruit, not circumstances. Hating the sin and its consequences, yet loving the sinner and the available redemption.
I have seen evil happen to the righteous, and good happen to the evil. It rains on both, the good and the evil; the righteous and the sinner. I have seen good parents with rebellious children, and bad parents with faithful children; I have seen a miserable rich man, and a happy poor man. I have seen natural disasters, diseases; accidents and acts of terror take the lives of both the wicked and the righteous. I have witnessed justice and injustice. I have seen those weak of faith receive miracles, healings and deliverances stand beside the faithful who continue to suffer. I have asked "Why is it this way?" This doesn't fit my little box. In my black and white world – the faithful always receives blessings, the victim always receives justice, and the innocent always receives freedom. But that's not always true.
It is not what happens to us or what we experience that makes us who we are: It's how we respond that separates us and sets us apart. It's not material possessions, success in our careers, obedience of our children, our degree of study or our position in church or in life that distinguishes us. It's our ability to forgive when we are abused, to give when we've lost everything, to stand when the world is set against us. It's our ability to HOPE regardless of the situation, to have FAITH in a faithless society, and to LOVE in in a loveless world. What good are a Strong Tower, Fortress of Strength, Weapons of Warfare, and the Armor of God except in the midst of a battle? To believe that our life will always be 'peachy' as long as we're obedient, faithful and attend church on a regular basis (which is the elementary doctrine of most beliefs) – these being the fruit of our labors, is deceptive. While at times we will enjoy peace, prosperity and blessings, we will also experience storms, trials and tribulations – growing pains. These storms will either strengthen us or destroy us. As the Apostle Paul encouraged the Corinthians – let us not deceive ourselves. Seek the Truth and hold onto it with all our might as we bear our storms.
December 14, 2011
Open Rebuke is Better...
Ever had a friend that ALWAYS agreed with you? No matter how much you swayed in your opinion or actions, they were there to lend their support, letting the words you wanted to hear fall from their lips like dripping honey?
I've had a few friends like that, and know a few acquaintances who are similar. However, they don't remain my friends for long. Not because I don't like what they have to say, on the contrary - their words are soothing, comforting and encouraging - but because flattering words are not what I NEED in my life. I need truth, honesty and a little bit of common sense.
There's a old proverb that speaks this truth much better than I can. Proverbs 26:5-6 - "Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful."
Of course my pride and selfish ambition doesn't agree with this statement. Who likes open rebuke? Who likes to be told they're wrong or being stupid? Nobody I know, especially me. Just because I don't like it, doesn't mean I don't need it from time to time. I'd much rather know the truth of a matter than be allowed to walk around in deceit.
Telling the truth to your friends and family is a sticky mess. You run the risk of them getting angry with you, even to the point of breaking all communications. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten angry at my husband, friends or Pastors when they've brought some things to my attention in an open rebuke. I think for several years I lived in the land of "Tonya, Honey"... which was always the precursor of an oncoming rebuke. But, I can't express to you how much I appreciate and love my husband, my friends and my Pastors for being honest with me. Their actions showed me they loved and cared for me.
Being a writer is no different. When I put my first novel attempt out for critique, what I received was not what I had expected. I was waiting on the accolades and tinker-tape parade in celebration of my genius. Instead I got line edit after line edit of red-marked rebukes. I chose not to allow the critiques to stop me from doing what I loved most in the world and took a step back from myself and examined my work with a new set of eyes. I'm a much better writer today because a handful of wonderful people opted to tell me the truth instead of allowing me to embarrass myself in foolish deceit. Now, no matter how much I like my other writer friends, I return the favor with honesty. I'm not mean about it, and hopefully give more encouragement than I do rebuke, but I love them enough to tell them the truth. Remember that it's a show of love the next time a friend offers you a rebuke.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
I've had a few friends like that, and know a few acquaintances who are similar. However, they don't remain my friends for long. Not because I don't like what they have to say, on the contrary - their words are soothing, comforting and encouraging - but because flattering words are not what I NEED in my life. I need truth, honesty and a little bit of common sense.
There's a old proverb that speaks this truth much better than I can. Proverbs 26:5-6 - "Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful."
Of course my pride and selfish ambition doesn't agree with this statement. Who likes open rebuke? Who likes to be told they're wrong or being stupid? Nobody I know, especially me. Just because I don't like it, doesn't mean I don't need it from time to time. I'd much rather know the truth of a matter than be allowed to walk around in deceit.
Telling the truth to your friends and family is a sticky mess. You run the risk of them getting angry with you, even to the point of breaking all communications. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten angry at my husband, friends or Pastors when they've brought some things to my attention in an open rebuke. I think for several years I lived in the land of "Tonya, Honey"... which was always the precursor of an oncoming rebuke. But, I can't express to you how much I appreciate and love my husband, my friends and my Pastors for being honest with me. Their actions showed me they loved and cared for me.
Being a writer is no different. When I put my first novel attempt out for critique, what I received was not what I had expected. I was waiting on the accolades and tinker-tape parade in celebration of my genius. Instead I got line edit after line edit of red-marked rebukes. I chose not to allow the critiques to stop me from doing what I loved most in the world and took a step back from myself and examined my work with a new set of eyes. I'm a much better writer today because a handful of wonderful people opted to tell me the truth instead of allowing me to embarrass myself in foolish deceit. Now, no matter how much I like my other writer friends, I return the favor with honesty. I'm not mean about it, and hopefully give more encouragement than I do rebuke, but I love them enough to tell them the truth. Remember that it's a show of love the next time a friend offers you a rebuke.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
December 13, 2011
Birds of a Feather
I love hanging out with other writers. There's nothing more exciting than seeing a writer's face light up when they start talking about their latest adventure, or seeing the inspiration of hope take hold of their heart and their faces begin to glow with anticipation and excitement. Nothing gets my heart pumping, my adrenaline flowing or my creativity buzzing like talking with a bunch of writers. Well, that is besides having lunch with them. We might be a bunch of nuts - but hopefully we're screwed on the right bolt.
I thank all my lunch buddies for the creativity they shared today around the big table - and the great Italian meal at La Trattoria; Tom Cook, Joann Dunn, Dawn Goodwin, Frank Rogers and Bob Covel. I want to especially thank new members Sue Lee, Lorien Forrest, Dawn Perry, Chuck Wanager and Maggie Lisiecki for their inspiration and encouragement at my end of the table. You guys are the reason I love the Carrollton Creative Writer's Club so much. I'm blessed just to be acquainted with you.
I also appreciate everyone who took the time out of their busy schedules to attend the Carrollton Creative Writer's Club meet today to attack all the tough issues that were brought to the table. I was so impressed with the professional and courteous attitudes. I'm excited about this club and know there are some big things in store for it's future.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
I thank all my lunch buddies for the creativity they shared today around the big table - and the great Italian meal at La Trattoria; Tom Cook, Joann Dunn, Dawn Goodwin, Frank Rogers and Bob Covel. I want to especially thank new members Sue Lee, Lorien Forrest, Dawn Perry, Chuck Wanager and Maggie Lisiecki for their inspiration and encouragement at my end of the table. You guys are the reason I love the Carrollton Creative Writer's Club so much. I'm blessed just to be acquainted with you.
I also appreciate everyone who took the time out of their busy schedules to attend the Carrollton Creative Writer's Club meet today to attack all the tough issues that were brought to the table. I was so impressed with the professional and courteous attitudes. I'm excited about this club and know there are some big things in store for it's future.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
December 12, 2011
Writing & Parenting
I look at the various pictures pinned to the wall of my office and I can see how much I've changed over the years; not just physically, but in every way. I don't think the same way I used to think, and I certainly don't act the same. In many ways, I believe I've improved. I've grown in maturity, increased in wisdom and flourished in knowledge. In other ways I could use some reminders of first loves, fluttered emotions and youthful excitement. But, I'd never trade what I have now with what was. I'm not one of those people who wish they could go back because their glory days are behind them. On the contrary, I'm excited about what lay ahead of me - especially when it comes to my writing.
I love to write. I love to create new worlds, give life to new characters, and then watch as they grow, mature, conform and flourish. I find inspiration in their stories; a hope to overcome and succeed in my own story. I'd be lying if I told you that everything was always easy when it comes to exercising my skills. On the contrary, it's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. It's a lot like parenting. I pour everything I have into my proverbial children, but they have their own lives and sometimes go in a direction I never wanted or intended. The wisdom I have in dealing with my latest children has matured greatly from the first.
Like many parents, I sometimes wish I could correct mistakes I made with my older children and manuscripts, and apply the new methods and understanding I've since gained. However, as it is with parenting and writing, I can't go back. What's done is done. What's published is published. All I can do is start from this point, apply my "now" wisdom to the current situation and state of things, and make different choices/changes/corrections. Reconciliation is never off the table. I only lack wisdom - and wisdom can be gained.
I'm proud and sincerely love every story I've ever written, no matter how full of flaws they contain. The same goes for my children. In my 40 years of existence I've learned a few things, picked up a few skills, tested the waters more times than I can count, and I'm satisfied with the knowledge that I did my best. My efforts may not have been THE best, but they were MY best.
I've come a long way as a writer and as mother. I still have a lot to learn about both, but I'm determined to enjoy the journey along the way.
I love to write. I love to create new worlds, give life to new characters, and then watch as they grow, mature, conform and flourish. I find inspiration in their stories; a hope to overcome and succeed in my own story. I'd be lying if I told you that everything was always easy when it comes to exercising my skills. On the contrary, it's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. It's a lot like parenting. I pour everything I have into my proverbial children, but they have their own lives and sometimes go in a direction I never wanted or intended. The wisdom I have in dealing with my latest children has matured greatly from the first.
Like many parents, I sometimes wish I could correct mistakes I made with my older children and manuscripts, and apply the new methods and understanding I've since gained. However, as it is with parenting and writing, I can't go back. What's done is done. What's published is published. All I can do is start from this point, apply my "now" wisdom to the current situation and state of things, and make different choices/changes/corrections. Reconciliation is never off the table. I only lack wisdom - and wisdom can be gained.
I'm proud and sincerely love every story I've ever written, no matter how full of flaws they contain. The same goes for my children. In my 40 years of existence I've learned a few things, picked up a few skills, tested the waters more times than I can count, and I'm satisfied with the knowledge that I did my best. My efforts may not have been THE best, but they were MY best.
I've come a long way as a writer and as mother. I still have a lot to learn about both, but I'm determined to enjoy the journey along the way.
December 9, 2011
Developing Individual Characters
Ever picked up a book and the beginning started off with a bang, had a great concept idea, the action was well crafted to find the story quickly fizzled because all the characters were one-dimensional and had the same personality? I've ran into that one too many times of late, it seems.
Most often this happens with new writers or books that have been self-published - lending support to the main reason for finding themselves of the self-published rack with dozens of rejection letters from traditional publishers. I can only imagine the turmoil a publisher goes through reading these cardboard characters, seeing as they make me want to pull my hair out because of the blatant waste and misuse of a great idea.
I'm currently reading such a book now, read another a few weeks ago, and another one a few weeks before that. I'm not sure yet if it's part of some grand conspiracy or if perhaps they have been brought into my life to help me gain a grateful appreciation for the well developed characters I've met in the many stories before them. I suppose it's not ever day we get to understand the misunderstood Mr. Darcy, experience the maturity and growth of Harry Potter or learn to step into greatness like Eragon. Don't even get me started on George R.R. Martin's all-star cast of The Game of Thrones - where I've never met so many characters in all my life in one book and each one of them had their own distinct personality.
The stories I love most are always "character-driven". When I relate to a character, feel what they're feeling and come to care about the outcome (whether for or against - because I LOVE-TO-HATE a great villain), then that is what I call a successful story. I also believe the lack of such characteristics is the reason why these good-concept books with cardboard characters fall by the wayside.
So, for all my writer friends out there, let me give you this little piece of advice. Go back to what you're working on and read the dialogue of all your characters. Ask yourself the following questions:
Do they talk the same; use the same words, expressions and exclamations?Do they use the same body language in the dialogue tags?Do they 'think' the same way as the other characters - or are they different in style, speech and resolve.Is everyone as smart as the other characters, have the same values, choose the same options and solve problems in the same manner? Giving them different clothes, hair color and eye color doesn't make them different.Now, look around you at all your family, friends, co-workers and associates and tell me that everyone is the same. It's our differences that make us interesting. It's what we can learn from one another that make us a better person. How can we learn something new if all we see is the same?
Let your characters develop themselves. Don't force them into a mold of your making, because all you'll get is multiple versions of your conceited self. A true writer doesn't use their gift of writing to reveal themselves through their characters - but has the power to give life, color and fullness to a character of their imagination.
Please, please don't let the next book I pick up be filled with cardboard characters.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
Most often this happens with new writers or books that have been self-published - lending support to the main reason for finding themselves of the self-published rack with dozens of rejection letters from traditional publishers. I can only imagine the turmoil a publisher goes through reading these cardboard characters, seeing as they make me want to pull my hair out because of the blatant waste and misuse of a great idea.
I'm currently reading such a book now, read another a few weeks ago, and another one a few weeks before that. I'm not sure yet if it's part of some grand conspiracy or if perhaps they have been brought into my life to help me gain a grateful appreciation for the well developed characters I've met in the many stories before them. I suppose it's not ever day we get to understand the misunderstood Mr. Darcy, experience the maturity and growth of Harry Potter or learn to step into greatness like Eragon. Don't even get me started on George R.R. Martin's all-star cast of The Game of Thrones - where I've never met so many characters in all my life in one book and each one of them had their own distinct personality.
The stories I love most are always "character-driven". When I relate to a character, feel what they're feeling and come to care about the outcome (whether for or against - because I LOVE-TO-HATE a great villain), then that is what I call a successful story. I also believe the lack of such characteristics is the reason why these good-concept books with cardboard characters fall by the wayside.
So, for all my writer friends out there, let me give you this little piece of advice. Go back to what you're working on and read the dialogue of all your characters. Ask yourself the following questions:
Do they talk the same; use the same words, expressions and exclamations?Do they use the same body language in the dialogue tags?Do they 'think' the same way as the other characters - or are they different in style, speech and resolve.Is everyone as smart as the other characters, have the same values, choose the same options and solve problems in the same manner? Giving them different clothes, hair color and eye color doesn't make them different.Now, look around you at all your family, friends, co-workers and associates and tell me that everyone is the same. It's our differences that make us interesting. It's what we can learn from one another that make us a better person. How can we learn something new if all we see is the same?
Let your characters develop themselves. Don't force them into a mold of your making, because all you'll get is multiple versions of your conceited self. A true writer doesn't use their gift of writing to reveal themselves through their characters - but has the power to give life, color and fullness to a character of their imagination.
Please, please don't let the next book I pick up be filled with cardboard characters.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
December 8, 2011
War Wounds
Have you ever found yourself smack dab in the middle of war and suffered a massive injury? Have you ever been in a situation where retreat was out of the question, but going forward was excruciatingly painful? That's the way it is sometimes - that is if you're alive and breathing. Life is a battlefield, and we're all soldiers. The war wounds we receive are not just flesh wounds, many times the most damaging injuries occur in the heart; deep into the soul. Trying to move with such deep seared injuries, exudes pain with every step. But what option do you have but to press forward?
Our first natural instinct when we obtain an injury is stand still and assess the situation and severity of our wounds. Often we are in shock, and unbelief spreads through us like a disease causing us confusion. We allow this deception to color our perception and misdiagnose our true state of being.Our second natural instinct is to remain still in fear of increasing the damage, but that's the wrong move. When we're in the middle of a battle field - we need to seek shelter, avoid further attack and obtain medicine - seek out our Strong Fortress and our Tower of Strength. The only way we can do that is to keep moving forward; keep pressing on - even through all the pain. Our third natural instinct is to retreat into ourselves and give up. When has ever putting our lives into the hands of our enemies ever benefit us? If our enemy allows us to live, we become their living prisoners; slaves to the things which have wounded us and will continue to wound us periodically at their choosing. All battles leave scars known as war wounds. Who we are is not determined in how we obtain our scars, but in the decisions we make after the attack. I look back at the white faded lines of my past wounds and realize how far I've moved forward from that moment. While I was "IN" that pain and torment, I couldn't see what lay ahead of me - but I'm so glad I took the steps that brought me to where I am today.
The enemy is still dropping bombs all around me, shooting arrows at me and plotting against me, but I'm still pressing on. I'm sure I'll obtain some more war wounds until my mission is complete, but I know that other days like this - a day when I can look back and see how far I've come - are on the horizon.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
Our first natural instinct when we obtain an injury is stand still and assess the situation and severity of our wounds. Often we are in shock, and unbelief spreads through us like a disease causing us confusion. We allow this deception to color our perception and misdiagnose our true state of being.Our second natural instinct is to remain still in fear of increasing the damage, but that's the wrong move. When we're in the middle of a battle field - we need to seek shelter, avoid further attack and obtain medicine - seek out our Strong Fortress and our Tower of Strength. The only way we can do that is to keep moving forward; keep pressing on - even through all the pain. Our third natural instinct is to retreat into ourselves and give up. When has ever putting our lives into the hands of our enemies ever benefit us? If our enemy allows us to live, we become their living prisoners; slaves to the things which have wounded us and will continue to wound us periodically at their choosing. All battles leave scars known as war wounds. Who we are is not determined in how we obtain our scars, but in the decisions we make after the attack. I look back at the white faded lines of my past wounds and realize how far I've moved forward from that moment. While I was "IN" that pain and torment, I couldn't see what lay ahead of me - but I'm so glad I took the steps that brought me to where I am today.
The enemy is still dropping bombs all around me, shooting arrows at me and plotting against me, but I'm still pressing on. I'm sure I'll obtain some more war wounds until my mission is complete, but I know that other days like this - a day when I can look back and see how far I've come - are on the horizon.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
