Liisa Kyle's Blog, page 7

You Can Cope with the Covid Crisis

https://bit.ly/CopingWithTheCovidCrisis

We are living through the first global pandemic of modern times. It’s a time of unprecedented uncertainty, overwhelming challenges, and profound changes in our lives, our society, and the world. But while no one can control the coronavirus, you absolutely can control how you respond. There are concrete and simple steps you can take right now to better cope with the Covid-19 crisis. You can choose to thrive, no matter your circumstances.

Liisa Kyle, Ph.D. is an author and life coach who has spent the last twenty years helping people navigate challenges and times of crisis. She’s written this book so you can meet this and future crises by guiding you to:

Tend to the basics SafetySelf-CareFundamental needs  (physical, mental, spiritual, and social)Handle your emotionsExamine and manage strong feelings such as  sadness, grief, anger, fear, and anxietyReduce stress and cultivate calmManage your mindCultivate positive thoughtsCounter negative thoughtsTake actionMake the best of the situationIdentify opportunitiesMake desired changes in your lifeImprove your relationshipsPut things in orderNavigate the New Normal Examine lessons learned Identify your values and prioritiesExamine your personal resources and liabilitiesMake conscious choices

Available in paperback or eBook format here: https://bit.ly/CopingWithTheCovidCrisis

It’s Only Too Late If You Don’t Start Now

By The Photographer [CC0], from Wikimedia Commons

I know from personal experience that midlife crisis can hit at any age.  I earned my Ph.D. at 29 and have gone through midlife crises about every five years ever since.  Now I prefer to frame them as “new chapters” rather than “crises” but the mechanics are the same:  You find yourself in a life situation that feels ‘wrong’.  You figure out something more palatable and motivational . . . something more ‘you’.  You implement a plan and try it on for size.  It’s scary and exciting and yet much, much healthier than stagnating in an unhappy situation. This is especially true for DaVincis (multi-talented people).  Sometimes the best way to honor and manage your many talents is to devote different life chapters to each. Often a new life chapter is a great way to improve your life.

Age isn’t the issue.  It’s how you feel about your life.  So ask yourself:  how fulfilled am I these days?  How happy?  How balanced is my life?  How much energy do I have?  What’s working well?  What’s not?

It might be that a few minor adjustments will improve your life in a big way.

If, however, it’s time for a big change, fear not.  It’s possible to start a wonderful new chapter at any age in life.

Now if you’re really ready to start a second (or third) life, I highly recommend It’s Only Too Late If You Don’t Start Now by the wonderful, wise Barbara Sher.  She gives detailed guidance as to how to transform apparent midlife crisis into a great new life chapter…and to improve your life in the process.  My purpose today is raise awareness that if there’s a second (or third) life you crave, it’s not too late.

It’s Not Too Late

History is full of examples of folks who started successful new chapters later in life:

Andrea Bocelli began singing opera seriously when he was 34.

Julia Child was almost 40 when she learned to cook and found her true passion.  It took another decade for her to publish her classic cookbook and she didn’t start her seminal TV show until she was 51.

Laura Ingalls Wilder began writing a newspaper column in her forties.  She didn’t write or publish her  Little House series until she was in her sixties.

Colonel Harland Sanders was 65 years old when he launched his Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) restaurants.

Peter Mark Roget didn’t start compiling his Thesaurus until he was 70.  It was first published when he was 73.

Grandma Moses began painting when she was 76.  She created more than a thousand paintings over the next twenty-five years.

Is there something that you’ve always wanted to do…but haven’t got around to yet?  Maybe you have childhood dream that you’ve given up on.  Perhaps there is a particular creative project you have shelved over and over again…about which you feel guilty and heartsick.  It could be that you’re yearning to develop and hone a new talent…or unearth an old talent you’ve been neglecting.  Whatever it is, if it’s important to you, it’s only ‘too late’ if you don’t start now.

***

Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in Paperback or Ebook format: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

Lessons Learned While Learning Lessons

Mosaic by Liisa Kyle, Photo (c) Liisa Kyle

When was the last time you took a class or a workshop to learn a new skill?  As a multi-talented person,  you may well balk saying, ‘The last thing I need to to acquire yet another skill — I can’t manage the ones I’ve already got!”  Yet DaVincis can benefit a lot when they learn something new — which is why I often recommend doing so to my uber-talented coaching clients.

Full disclosure:  There are many ways to learn and my favorite is via school.  I loved it as a kid and I adore it even more now. I can’t decide if I prefer teaching or taking classes.  Either way, I get a certain happy tingle whenever I’m on campus.  Every semester I sign up to take one or more courses.  Most of what I take is focused on deepening my existing skill set.  But I’m also keen to learn something new, so I keep an eye peeled for those opportunities.

Recently, I signed up for a mosaic workshop.  It reminded me — again — why venturing into new terrain is so beneficial for DaVincis:

1.  It’s good to remember that you don’t know everything.

Talented as you are, there’s always more you can learn.  There are always experts who know a subject better than you.  When you learn something new, you have the opportunity to appreciate others’ skills.

I’ve made mosaics in the past. I figured, how hard can it be?  You slap down some grout, push some broken bits of pottery into it and voila!  You have a mosaic.  Well, you do have a mosaic..and the quality is apt to be iffy, if my past efforts are any indication.  It didn’t take long under the tutelage of someone who actually knew what she was doing before I realized that I’d been going at all wrong.  I had been using the wrong materials, the wrong tools and the wrong techniques.

2. Learning something new can build on and enhance the skills you’ve already got.

Acquiring new techniques can draw from your current skill set, consolidate them, and expand them.

It was easy to incorporate my design, collage, mixed media and glass working techniques into my new mosaic project.  My new mosaic project gave me an opportunity to extrapolate these older skills in the context of a new medium.

3. When you learn something new, you will make mistakes.

It is unreasonable to expect that you will be speaking fluent French after one lesson.   If you take up piano, it will require a fair bit of effort and practice before you play passably, let alone flawlessly.

It can be odd for someone who is used to doing things well to be put in a position in which their results are likely to be sub-par.  That’s why perfectionists often get very frustrated when they learning something new — they’re used to being competent and they have sky-high standards for themselves — so doing things imperfectly is unnerving.  They are self-conscious that their initial attempts to parlez francais invite an unfortunate comparison with native speakers…so decide they ‘can’t learn French’ or ‘don’t have a talent for languages’.

However, if you let it, the experience can be freeing.  Rather than getting all caught up in how you sound during your first French class, give yourself permission to make mistakes for the purpose of learning.

Rather than obsessing over the quality of my first (real) mosaic — or fretting over the quality of the final product — I halted these unhelpful thoughts by saying, “Hey, this is not a product, it’s an experiment.  It’s a chance to learn.  It doesn’t matter how it turns out or how many mistakes I make along the way — it’s my first such vessel.  The next one will be better.”

Which, when you think about it,  is a far healthier, far more helpful internal dialogue during ANY project than, say, constantly evaluating and judging your work as you do it.  If you’re constantly scrutinizing your efforts and working in fear of making mistakes, that can squelch your creativity…if not utterly paralyze it.

4.  You may discover a new talent.

It may be that you have an affinity or flair for what you’re learning.  You may find yourself with a burgeoning new talent.

I enjoyed my first (real) mosaic so much, I set up a new, properly stocked mosaic station in my studio for future such projects.

5.  You will generate more ideas.

Anytime you learn something new, it stimulates your brain.  You can’t help but conjure up many ideas — ways to improve your existing work, exciting new directions they could turn as well as plenty o’ potential new projects.

In my case, my recent mosaic workshop sparked refinements in a glass fusing project I’m doing.  It generated this blog.  And my newfound interest in mosaics plus my existing passion for welding has sparked a completely new project:  making an outside patio set.

*****

Activity: Look for classes or workshops on new topics.  Review your local college, Parks & Recreation, and/or Learning Annex offerings.   What would be a fun new skill to acquire?  What new techniques would you like to add to your creative toolbox?

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For more tips and techniques, check out my workbook  BE MORE CREATIVE:  101 Activities to Unleash and Grow Your Creativity

Available here in Paperback and eBook format:  http://bit.ly/BeMoreCreativeBook

***

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

Balance Rx for DaVincis: Simple Pleasures

By Daniel Skorodjelow [CC BY-SA 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/...) or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], from Wikimedia Commons

You’re a creative, multi-talented person.  To what extent are you enjoying your life?  If you’re feeling more burdened or stressed than delighted these days, ask yourself:  what simple pleasures can you give yourself?  And when was the last time you did so?

As creative people, we have the imagination to find creative ways to deny ourselves simple pleasures.  You should hear the convoluted excuses my uber-talented coaching clients devise as to why they couldn’t possibly, say, sit outside watching clouds for half an hour.  It’d be funny if it weren’t so sad that they are denying themselves such basic human treats.

Even though I know better, sometimes I catch myself doing the same thing.  (“Oh no, I can’t go for a rollerblade this morning . . . it’s a workday!”)

Why do we do it?  Sometimes it’s guilt.  Sometimes it’s low self-esteem (a sense that you don’t ‘deserve’ a treat). Sometimes it’s because you put everyone else’s needs first.  Sometimes it’s a societal dictum or an unhealthy belief like, ‘I have to work hard and earn X before I deserve a treat.”

Whatever the reason, the truth is that not only do you deserve to treat yourself to simple pleasures – it’s essential for your health, well-being and creativity.

Right now, take a moment to list ten simple pleasures you love.  Forget about cost or time or practicalities.  What are ten simple pleasures that give you joy?

It might be particular activities like walking on the beach or reading outside.  Perhaps you’re craving certain visual treats found at an art gallery or garden center.  It could be a particular food – something from your childhood or something you just plain adore.  Maybe it would be a treat to take a few hours and daydream…or do nothing at all.    What are YOUR simple pleasures?

(If you’re completely stuck, here are some more examples).

Next question:  How often do you treat yourself to these simple pleasures?

Go down your list and write down, beside each item, the last time you indulged in this simple pleasures.

If it’s been a while, you owe it to yourself to work some simple pleasures into your life.  Starting today.

What’s that you say?  You can’t possibly.  You have too much to do.  You don’t have enough time.

I don’t believe you.

Ask yourself this:  what do you spend time doing that you really don’t enjoy – and that you really don’t have to be doing?  What isn’t particularly healthy or helpful?  What could you be doing less of, if you were honest with yourself?

Maybe you’re a workaholic spending many more hours on the job than is really required.  Perhaps you spend time worrying or stressing or complaining.  It could be you’re running errands you really don’t need to be doing. Maybe clutter is making basic tasks take twice as long as they would, if your space was more organized.  Maybe you’re wasting your evenings watching television programs you don’t really like.

Whatever your day is like, you have an opportunity to do less of what you don’t want – and more of what you do want.

So what’s stopping you?

Have you got into a rut?  Have you developed habits that need to be disrupted?

Are you being unnecessarily strict with yourself out of some need to punish yourself for something?

Do you believe you have to work hard to earn X before you deserve a treat?

Whatever’s going on I promise that if you work some simple pleasures into your day and your week, every day and every week, you’ll be happier, healthier, less stressed, more productive,  and more creative.

Now it could be you’re completely convinced and have already stopped reading to head to the beach.  (Wouldn’t that be wonderful?).

But if that’s not the case — if you’re having difficulty indulging in some simple pleasures, it may be helpful to dig deeper – to examine why you are treating yourself the way you are.  There may be unhelpful, false beliefs underlying your behavior.  Why are you being so hard on yourself?

For example, I have a coaching client who spends hours every day surfing the internet…checking her email and Facebook news feed . . . reading multiple versions of the same news.  Does she need to spend hours doing this?  No.  Does she enjoy spending hours doing this?  No.  She feels awful.  Stressed out and guilty.  Are there other things she’d rather be doing?  Yes!  She’d rather be writing or making crafts or taking classes or working out or doing twenty other things. So what’s stopping her from doing any of this?

Well for one thing, surfing the internet gives the illusion of being busy and active and worthwhile.

Digging deeper, she realizes that she is punishing herself for not making more money.  Her underlying belief is that she doesn’t deserve to have fun because she hasn’t earned it. Note the irony:  rather than devoting time to entrepreneurial activities that would actually generate income, she fritters away hours a day on an unproductive, unhealthy habit…as punishment for not earning enough.

How about you?  What’s really going on?

Whatever it is, I invite you to address it and to look for opportunities to indulge in regular simple pleasures.

*****

Activity: What simple pleasures do you enjoy?  List as many as you can, as quickly as you can.

Activity: Re-read your answers.  For each, identify the last time you experienced this simple pleasure.

Activity: This week, make a point of experiencing at least one simple pleasure every day.

Activity: Schedule an appointment for one week from today.  When that time comes, review how many days during the past week  you experienced at least one simple pleasure.  If you did so seven days out of seven, pat yourself on the back and carry on doling out regular treats.  If you didn’t, ask yourself, why not?

*****

Check out my workbook: YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE:  A Workbook to Become the Person You Want to Be.

Available here in Paperback or eBook format: http://bit.ly/ChangeYourLifeWorkbook
 

*****

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

Overcome Regrets – Forgive Yourself & Others

One of the most effective ways to overcome regrets or to overcome events your past is to forgive yourself and others for whatever happened.  Forgiveness and self-forgiveness aren’t always easy, but the benefits of doing so are many and profound.  Today’s post highlights the benefits of forgiving yourself and others as well as providing some detailed tips for doing so.  (Please note that this material is excerpted and adapted from my book Get Over It: Overcome Regret, Disappointment and Past Mistakes.)

Regardless of how kind we try to be, each of us have been hurt by someone else  — and each of us has hurt someone else.  Just as we must apologize and ask forgiveness when we do wrong, it’s only fair that we forgive those who wrong us.

Sometimes that’s not easy.  When someone hurts us, there is a natural resistance to responding with kindness.  But forgiveness is not approval for what occurred.  Forgiveness is not ‘letting someone off the hook’.  Forgiveness is an acknowledgment that we all make mistakes.

“But you don’t understand,” you may protest.  “They were wrong!  They hurt me badly!  Why should I forgive them?”  Well, ask yourself this:  would you rather be right or would you rather be healed?  If you want to heal, you must forgive them.

Truthfully, forgiveness is letting YOU off the hook:  it’s a way to release the pain, the anger, the fear and the resentment we experience when someone hurts us.  Forgiveness gives us the opportunity to heal and move on.

The alternatives don’t work.  Lashing back or seeking revenge is never as satisfying as we imagine.  Harsh actions injure us in the long run.  Holding grudges and hard feelings against those who have harmed us hurts us much, much more than it affects them.

The longer we let resentments and regrets fester, the more we are damaging our own happiness.  It’s impossible to be happy if we are bearing burdens from the past. Who does it serve if you are walking around, bitter and seething about something that happened a decade ago…while the person who hurt you can’t even remember your name, let alone the incident?  Grudges hurt you, not them.

“But it’s too late,” you may say.  No, it isn’t.  When you hurt someone, it’s better to apologize immediately, of course.  But it’s better to apologize late than not at all.  Forgiveness works the same way.  We can be way overdue when it comes to forgiving others.  But as soon as we do, we can heal.  And we can’t move forward until we forgive.

“But I don’t even know where they are, what they’re doing, if they are even alive,” you might counter.  It doesn’t matter.  If you can forgive someone in person, it’s powerful.  But you can also forgive someone without them knowing anything about it.  It doesn’t matter where they are or what they’re doing — you have the power to forgive them, right here, right now.

Forgiveness is really a gift you give yourself.  You’ll feel the difference in your own heart when you truly forgive someone.  There’s a little shift, deep down.  It feels like relief.  It’s the first step to replacing the pain of the incident with peace and joy. Imagine what it would feel like to erase your regrets!

Now, it’s one thing to forgive someone else – it’s another to forgive yourself.   Many of us are hard on ourselves.  We expect perfection.  We punish ourselves for mistakes we’ve made.  But if we insist on carrying negative experiences and regrets from our past, we are needlessly denying ourselves happiness in the present.

We need to forgive ourselves.  We deserve being treated kindly and compassionately – even by ourselves.  As human beings, we all make mistakes.  Whatever it is, forgive yourself.  You deserve the same courtesy you would give someone else.  Imagine the relief of truly forgiving yourself!  Picture yourself laying those unnecessary burdens down…and stepping into happiness.

That is the power of forgiveness.

*****

Let’s say you’ve been wronged.  Someone did a bad thing.  Now what are you going to do about it?

You can stew — keep it all inside, festering.  That only hurts yourself.
You can play the victim. You tell everyone what a horrible thing happened to you – spread the word about what a terrible person the perpetrator of the incident is.  This only foments negativity and spreads the pain.
You can lash back — seek revenge or payback.  This may give you momentary satisfaction but it won’t feel nearly as satisfying as you anticipated – and it will not heal your pain.
You can forgive them and move on.  If you want to heal —  if you want to be happy, forgiveness is the answer.

Activity: Take a moment to make a forgiveness inventory.

1. Who do you need to forgive?  What grudges are you holding?

2. Choose someone from your initial answer

– What is it costing you to hold these resentments?  How does it make you feel?  How does it affect how you are living your life?

– What benefits might there be to forgiving them?  How would you feel?  How might it improve your life?

     – Imagine this person as a child, helpless and alone.   Could you have compassion for them in that circumstance?  Can you acknowledge that they are a fallible human being, susceptible to making mistakes?   You don’t need to justify or approve of what they did.  But can you forgive them?

3.  Forgive them. Take a moment and release the burden you’ve been carrying.

Activity: Forgive yourself.

1. What do you need to forgive yourself for?  What regrets are you holding?

2.  Select one item from your list.

– What does it cost you to carry this burden?

– What benefits would there be to forgiving yourself?  How would you feel?  How would it change how you are living your life?

– What’s stopping you from forgiving yourself?  Why are you denying yourself this relief?

– What can you do to forgive yourself?

3. Take a moment.  Acknowledge that you are a fallible human, that you make mistakes and that you deserve forgiveness for them.  View yourself with compassion and kindness.  Forgive yourself.

*****

For more, check out my book “GET OVER It:   Overcome Regret, Disappointment and Past Mistakes”.  Available here:  http://bit.ly/GetOverItNow

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If you’d like to share or publish this article, you may, if you include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

This material is excerpted and adapted from my book “GET OVER It:   Overcome Regret, Disappointment and Past Mistakes”.  Available here:  http://bit.ly/GetOverItNow

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The Da Vinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

Organizational Products — A Love Story

A confession:  I’m an organization nerd.  Call me crazy but I enjoy being able to find what I need when I need it — be it a particular tool, invoice, ingredient or garment.  It feels good to have my ‘to do’ lists prioritized, to know that the important things are not falling through the cracks.  A well organized drawer gives me tingles. Given my tendency to be a neatnik, I adore organizational products of all description.  Anything that helps capture ideas or manage tasks or impose some order on a project is a beautiful thing, in my book.  It’s difficult for me to go to an office supply store or IKEA or a discount store without browsing for new ways to get organized.  When I discover a new organizational product — like I did this week —  that will help a coaching client or friend or colleague manage their talents more effectively, it makes me very, very happy.

So what’s my newest discovery?  A strong but flexible plastic box, about a foot square by 4 inches wide that buckles closed.  It has a strap for carrying — meaning that the contents are contained and portable.  Inside is a plastic accordian file — a dozen separate polymer slots for organizing their contents, each with a tab you can label.  These slots are perfect for capturing  and sorting bits of paper or files or sample materials or photos or clippings or ticket stubs or napkins with great ideas scrawled on them.  At the back of the box, there’s an empty wider space — perfect for toting bulkier items like tools, books and supplies — or more files if you prefer.  This is the kind of organizational product that would be perfect for housing photos, recipes, financial papers, etc. — not to mention the purpose for which it was designed:  scrapbooking.  For DaVincis — creative people managing many talents, ideas and projects — it could be used to organize and manage things like:

* creative ideas

* items relevant to a particular talent

* ideas, plans and resources for a particular project

* a “Balance Box” in which each section is devoted to an Important Area of Life

* a special event

When I espied this device, I actually squealed with joy, scooped up an armload and sprinted to the cashier.  Within an hour of arriving home, I’d customized one for a colleague and devoted another to my home renovations.  A third one became “Control Central” for my metal creations.  A fourth is devoted to songwriting…and that’s just the beginning.  I may well replace my hanging file folder system with a sequence of these boxes, they work so well.

Now I’m telling you about this box, not as an endorsement of a particular company or product, but rather as a way of demonstrating the delights and utility of an excellent organizational aid — it’s practical, functional and can fulfill a zillion functions.  It reduces stress, imposes order and enhances efficiency. These are but some of the benefits of being organized.

In my coaching practice, I’ve helped a lot of DaVincis get organized.  My recent discovery of the box prompted me to think about other organizational products that work well for creative people.   Here are some of my favorites:

1.  The Stationary Sorter

If you are a visual organizer — more of a ‘piler’ than a ‘filer’ — then I hope you have a stationary sorter.  This is a nest of cubbyholes into which you can stack  materials and ideas. You can have different cubbies for different talents — or different projects — or both.  This practical alternative to file folders has transformed the lives of many of my coaching clients.  There’s no law that says you must organize things into files.  Piles work just fine, assuming they are orderly piles, like those you create in a stationary sorter.

2. Book Shelves

Oh sure, you can use your bookshelves to store your books — but they’re also a highly effective way to store your projects in progress.  Think of them as huge ‘stationary sorters’.  You can use each shelf to hold materials and equipment for a given project — or you can devote each shelves to house the works, materials and tools of a particular talent.

If, like me, you don’t like the messy appearance of your project piles — or if the sight of them is a distraction for you, guess what?  You can put opaque doors on bookshelves.  When you close the doors, you hide mess and avoid the distraction.

This is a point worth emphasizing:  putting things in order is a way of reducing stress and visual chaos.  An orderly work surface is less distracting.  It’s also more efficient because you can work without first (a) locating the approximate position of your desk, (b) relocating the clutter that’s on it, (c) fighting whatever tempting distractions and new, tangential ideas that emerge as you unearth your work surface and (d) digging back through the clutter, seeking relevant materials and supplies for whatever it was you wanted to sit down and do…if only you can remember what that was.

3.  Lidded Cardboard Storage Boxes

Think of a generic version of the cardboard boxes that photocopy paper comes in:    plain cardboard boxes with built in handles and removable lids.  I usually buy mine in flat packs of ten.  They store easily until they’re needed, when it just takes a few seconds to fold the flat pieces into boxes and lids.

You can use these to hold whatever fits in an 10 ” x 12″ x 15″ space — things like files or tools or projects or supplies.

To the extent that you have the space to store them handily, I recommend you devote a separate box to every project that’s important to you — past, present and future.  Start by taking all your current projects.  Label separate boxes for each project.  Now load them up with their relevant materials.  (It’s fine if a given project requires more than one box).  Got an idea for a new opera you want to tackle next year?  Label a fresh box with its working title.  As you collect relevant ideas or materials for your opera, add it to your ‘new opera’ box.   What about that half-done novel you stopped writing five years ago?  Put your most recent draft plus any relevant files, materials or resources into it’s very own, labeled storage box.  It’s at the ready if ever you want to re-start it — and if you don’t choose to finish it, that’s fine too.  DaVincis would be sad indeed if we ‘had’ to finish everything we start.

Cardboard storage boxes work well with DaVincis who are overwhelmed or resistant to get organized.  Getting organized doesn’t have to be big deal.  Just shovel your stuff into separate, labeled boxes.  You’re done.  If you so desire, you can further organize the contents of each box — but it’s not required.  Just putting your things into relevant boxes will help tremendously.  NOW, when you need a particular tool or invoice, your don’t have to search through everything you own — your search is limited to the interior of one box.

4.  The Labeler

When I mention the labeller as an organizational product, some clients scoff.  (I scoffed myself, before I actually tried using one, so I empathize completely).  Here’s what I know:  the labeler is a magical device that will bring newfound order to your world, if you let it.

For years, I used calligraphy to make my file folders, idea books and scrapbooks neat, well organized and attractive.  Or so I thought.  Then I got a labeler and my world was rocked.  I can’t explain why but proper printer labels make all the difference.  There’s a certain peacefulness about plain type, perfectly proportioned.  It’s clear, easy to read and visually soothing.  Now I begin each year and with fresh manila folders, each plainly labeled.  My pantry items are in clear jars, each with a labeled top.  Labels grace my storage bins, project shelves, tool drawers, stationary sorter cubbies and art supplies.  I even use it in my scrapbooks to add titles or background information — so much faster than using alphabet stickers and so much neater than handwritten notes.

5.  Sticky Notes and Sticky Tabs

Keeping your activities organized doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated.  My main organizational aid during graduate school was a piece of 8″ x 11″ paper, covered with sticky notes.  One sticky note was a ‘to do’ list for one research project; another sticky note were my ‘to dos’ for a different project.  A third sticky note captured ‘Coursework’ items while a fourth listed “Teaching” tasks.  Other stickies recorded my progress on daily and weekly quotas as well as my ‘domestic to dos’.   As new projects or priorities emerged, they got their own new sticky.

What works about this ‘system’ is that it’s fast, cheap, easy, infinitely flexible, portable and visual:  you can see at a glance, everything that needs doing — but these things are contained on separate stickies, so they are orderly and manageable.  You can color code your activities if you wish, using different colored stickies for different lists.  Best of all, every day you’re guaranteed to get the little thrill inherent in literally crossing items off your ‘to do’ lists.

Sticky tabs are for more than just flagging a book passage or indicating where a signature is needed.  Sticky tabs are great for organizing idea books.  If you take any blank book and slap some sticky tabs on it to divide it into relevant sections, you can use it to simultaneously capture and organize your ideas.

*****

This is not an exhaustive list of organizational products by any means, but it does highlight some of what seems to work well with DaVincis like you.   If you are wanting to get organized, give them a try and see what you think.

*****

Activity: Think back — what organizational products have worked well with you at different times in your life?

Activity: Review this list of organizational products.  Is  there something mentioned that you haven’t tried yet?   Why not give it a spin?

Activity: The next time you’re in an office supply store or IKEA or a discount store, browse the aisles for other organizational products.

***

Want more tips and techniques for getting things done? Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in Paperback and Ebook format: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

 

***

If you’d like to share or publish this article, you may, if you include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

Make the Most of 2020

Paperback available here:  http://bit.ly/MakeTheMostOf2020

What would you like to do with 2020?

Some people like to set specific goals for the New Year.  Others prefer to give some general attention to a particular area of their life.  Keith’s priority in 2020 is to focus on his health.  Maria’s is to relax.  Maybe you’d like to travel.  Or learn.  Or create.  Or do good deeds.  Perhaps you’d like this to be the “Year of Fun”.  Maybe you’ve been overly career driven and this is the year you’ve like to give more attention to your home life.

It’s entirely up to you:  What would you like to experience this year?  What’s important to you?  What would you like to explore or learn?  What would you like to accomplish, acquire, or complete?

The beginning of a New Year is a terrific time to pause and ask yourself these questions.  New Year’s Eve is more than just a festive excuse to party…it’s a chance for a fresh start.  Kinda like pressing a personal “re-start button.”  If you choose to do so, you can use the opportunity to look back at the preceding year and take stock of your present circumstances.  You can identify what’s working well for you and what’s not.  You can make thoughtful, purposeful decisions about how to live the next twelve months.  With a little forethought, New Year’s Eve can be a pivot point to do more of what you love and less of what you don’t.

If this sounds appealing, I’ve developed a workbook to guide you through a process to make the most of the coming year.  It’s completely up to you:  What would you like to do, experience, explore, learn, accomplish, acquire, or complete in 2020?

Note the emphasis on you.  You.  Not what your Mom or your boss or your childhood chum might want.  What kind of year would you like 2020 to be?  What matters to you at this point in your life?

What would it mean to you if you made the most of 2020?

Whatever your desires for 2020, I can help.  I’m an author, life coach, and Ph.D. in Psychology who has spent the past twenty years helping people get things done, get organized, and get more out of life.  I’ve coached individuals, facilitated groups, and taught inventive workshops on four continents.

I’ve designed this book so you can get the most out of 2020.  Think of it as a personal seminar with a recognized expert, tailored to your unique circumstances and preferences.  Inside this workbook are proven tools you can work through at your own pace to foster whatever is important to you.

That’s what makes this book special.  It’s a flexible guide that will elicit different responses in everyone who uses it.  It’s up to you to apply your distinctive perspective to create and implement a plan suitable to your particular circumstances.

It’s actually two books in one.

It begins with a Self-Guided Workshop you can work through at your own pace to:

understand and appreciate 2019
generate ideas for all areas of your life
identify your true top priorities for 2020
make achievable plans for 2020

The remainder of this book is designed to keep you on track throughout the year.  You’ll have the opportunity to customize the Planner/Calendar to:

implement your plans for 2020
monitor your progress
make adjustments as needed

A Word About “Resolutions”

The way most people do traditional “New Year’s Resolutions” is not very effective.  They tend to be overblown “To Do” lists that become a source of unnecessary frustration.  They can be overwhelming or intimidating.  They often become abandoned which can cause guilt, shame, and a sense of failure.

The alternative is to create a prudent plan that can be reasonably implemented, given your specific circumstances.  That’s the purpose of this workbook.

If you’ve been disappointed by past attempts at “New Year’s Resolutions”, let me reassure you.  As a life coach, I’ve developed proven techniques for you to figure out what you want and then devise achievable plans to make that happen.

Maybe you’d like to set some specific goals.  Perhaps you’d like to solve a problem.  Or participate in some key activities to enhance your life.  Or establish new habits or practices that are uniquely gratifying to you.  It could be that you have an unfulfilled dream or an unfinished project on which you are yearning to make some progress.  Maybe you’d like to reduce or eliminate an unhelpful or unhealthy habit.

It’s up to you.  Using this workbook as a guide, you have the opportunity to figure out what’s right for you, right now, to make the most of 2020 — then devise achievable plans suitable to your particular circumstances.  The Planner/Calendar is designed to help you actually do what you intend.

Give yourself — or someone else — the give of a wonderful 2020.  Paperback available here:  http://bit.ly/MakeTheMostOf2020

 

Find Inspiration (and Treasures) in Your Own Home

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By Clker-Free-Vector-Images on Pixabay (Pixabay) [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons

If you’re seeking inspiration, try browsing among your belongings.   Unless you are living a fairly monastic life, odds are that your bookshelves, closets and cupboards hold items you’ve forgotten about  — or that you see in a new light.

If you’re a bookworm like me, you may be delighted at what, exactly, is on your bookshelves.  If you take time to review what you own, there are probably gifts or books you bought to read ‘someday’ that you haven’t got around to.  There are also old favorites that will read like new — because you’re a different person now than you were when you last read them.  Scanning your bookshelves is like browsing in our own personal bookstore — and it’s tailored to your literary tastes.

It’s kinda like a book version of ‘shopping in your own closet’. Which is another fun discovery.  There are probably some cool items hanging in your closet, unbeknownst to you. In my case, I’m the opposite of a clotheshorse. I don’t enjoy clothes shopping, so I don’t do it very often — and still somehow I’ve managed to acquire hidden treasures among my wardrobe. 

Or what about your art and craft supplies?  It can be inspiring indeed (not to mention ecologically and fiscally responsible) to identify and re-purpose what you already have.  “Hmm, what can I make out of this?” may well lead you to create something unexpected and satisfying.

And as you go through your belongings, as you identify what’s pleasing or useful to you, why not take note of what’s not? Donate or dispose of what’s not serving you.   Someone else might find your trash a welcome source of inspiration.

*****

Activity:  Go through your books.  Find something to read that you didn’t know you had.

Activity:  Re-read a favorite book you haven’t read in a long time.

Activity:  Go through your clothes.  Find at least one thing that you didn’t know you had.

Activity:  Go through your arts and crafts supplies.  Make something fun with what you’ve already got.

***

For more tips and techniques, check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in paperback and eBook formats: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

 

 

***

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

 

Re-Label Yourself For Fun & Profit

By Eviatar Bach [Public domain], from Wikimedia Commons

How do you describe yourself?  How do others label you?  The  words you choose shape how we think about others — and how others think about us.

The most powerful words on the planet are the ones we use to describe ourselves.  We might not even be aware of what those words are — or where they came from.  As DaVincis — multi-talented people juggling many ideas and projects — we are likely to have internalized others’ complaints about our diverse activities.  “Dilettante!”  “Flake!”  “Irresponsible!”  “Unrealistic!”  “Grandiose”  “Dilly-dallier” are just a few of the brands we’re apt to have attracted.

One helpful task in Julia Cameron’s Vein of Gold is a two-part activity that addresses these negative labels we may harbor deep down.  The first part of the assignment is to identify ten of the derrogatory labels we recall from childhood.  You know — those hurtful things someone branded us when we were young — things like “dreamer” or “foolish” or “not focused”.  Those spoken syllables that chided us when we were too naive to know that such descriptors were just that person’s opinion — and probably said more about that person’s issues and personality than it did about our own.

The second step Cameron prescribes is to convert these negative labels into something more positive, helpful…and probably more accurate.  For example:  “Dilettante converts to interested in many things.  Dreamer converts to powerfully imaginative…. Eccentric converts to original.”

It takes courage to dredge up the complaints that people had about us when we were children.  For example, my father used to call me “Lady of Leisure”.  I don’t know why.  I had a ton of extracurricular activities and part-time jobs and volunteered on top of it all. Yet every time he caught me daydreaming, he’d call out, in a teasing sing-song voice, “Hello, ‘Lady of Leisure’!”  He probably meant it jokingly, but it stung every damn time he said it.

Or, I distinctly recall the afternoon when one elementary school chum, with whom I’m still pals, expressed her exasperation that I “start all these different projects and never finish any of them!”  Now the truth is that I started many different projects and I finished many of them — and the cosmic Truth is that no-one HAS to finish EVERYTHING they start.  In fact, the physical reality is that it’s absolutely impossible to do so.

It’s painful to reflect on those labels that stuck through adulthood — in my case, things like being called ‘intense’.  I don’t enjoy being branded ‘intense’.  It makes me wince.  And yet, when I think of the people in my life I would describe as being ‘intense’, I don’t mean it as a complaint.  For them, I think of ‘intense’ as a synonym for ‘passionate’ or ‘scary smart’ or ‘focused’.

Which leads nicely into the second part of the Cameron exercise:  turning, in her words, “dross into gold”.  Reframing the negative labels into something more helpful and positive.

This is a very gratifying — and beneficial — activity.

Okay, my dad implied I was ‘lazy’, but really, any downtime he witnessed was me “thinking” or “reflecting” or “imagining” or, in my own way, “trying to heal”.

My schoolchum thought I was a flake (and probably still does), but I’m perfectly content to be called “interested in many things.”  It’s true!  I am interested in many things!  I’ll shout it proudly!

When I’m slammed for being ‘intense’ in the future, I’ll translate it internally as a complement that I’m passionate, smart and/or focused.  I’m comfortable with any of those three descriptors.

And that’s the point:  when we can re-label ourselves in a more positive light, we feel better about ourselves and whatever we’re doing.  Our quirks become ‘features’.  Our ‘secret shame’ becomes a ‘hidden strength’.  THAT’s the power of words.  We can wield words to heal ourselves.

Try it yourself:  see how transformational it is to identify the negative labels you’ve internalized, to exorcise them and to transform them into more helpful, pleasant entities:

1.  write down ten negative labels you recall from childhood.

2.  convert these negative words into more helpful interpretations of your behavior.

Bonus activity:  post your ‘golden words’ places you will see them.

What about you?  What unhelpful labels have you been branded?  What’s a different way of looking at them?  What happens when you re-frame these negative words?

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For more, check out my book “GET OVER It:   Overcome Regret, Disappointment and Past Mistakes”.  Available here for only $3.99:  http://bit.ly/GetOverItNow

 

 

***

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at  http://www.davincidilemma.com/  .

Add Structure to Your Schedule to Be More Creative

By Midwich Cuckoo [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC BY-SA 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/...)], from Wikimedia Commons

For those living a creative life, the absence of an externally-imposed schedule is both a joy and a delight.  How marvelous to know we have the entire day (or much of it) to frolic among our creative pursuits!  Yet at the end of the week, should we survey our accomplishments, we may find them lacking. (“How could it be another month gone already?!  I haven’t even drafted that chapter.”) While creative minds balk against restrictions of any kind, the truth is that some kind of structure or routine gives us the framework within which to be much more creative.  For DaVincis — creative people with multiple talents, many projects and thousand ideas — it’s even more important.

Why Add Structure to Your Schedule?

* To reduce stress, guilt and frustration

Have you ever frittered away a morning (or a day or a week) trying to choose what, of the available million options, you should do?  The stress, guilt and frustration of this kind of indecision isn’t pleasant.  Structure gets rid of all that by pre-deciding how you’re going to spend a given time period.

* To waste less time

A structured approach means you’ll spend more time actually doing the things you want to be doing…and less time procrastinating or agonizing over options.

* To be more creative

Structure creates the time, space and opportunity to go ahead and use your talents.  The more you use your talents, the more creativity you will unleash.

*****

How to Add Structure to your Schedule

Below are some options for adding structure to your schedule.  Review this list and see what appeals the most.  Which of the following options is apt to work well, given your unique circumstances?  Commit to try it for at least seven days – and ideally thirty.   Thirty days is the recommended target to cement effective practices as long-term habits.

Option 1:  Daily Morning Decision

Upon waking, first thing each morning, set a timer for five minutes.  Use this time period to decide which talents or projects you’d like to pursue during the day.   Pick one thing to focus on during the morning.  Would you like to focus on that during the afternoon also or would you prefer to shift focus to something else?  What about during the evening?  Before the timer goes off, make your decisions and write it down.  That’s your structure for the day.

Note that  this technique requires that you must make your decision as soon as you get up.  It doesn’t help to putter around for six hours and then think, ‘Hey, let’s break out the paints’.  Well you can…but in doing so you experience six hours of unnecessary guilt and pre-creative angst.

The advantage of this approach is that it is infinitely flexible.  You can work on your novel this morning, your business plan this afternoon and practice your trombone after dinner.  Tomorrow you might get up and decide to spend the entire day felting fabric.

This technique is guaranteed to thwart needless procrastination — the kind of procrastination that looks like indecision or paralysis (and that feels like hell).

It’s also a way of sidestepping perfectionism.  There’s no benefit (and plenty of costs) to agonizing over what to do for longer than five minutes.  Whatever you decide to do before the timer goes off is ‘good enough‘.

Option 2:  Pre-plan your Week

Make a fifteen minute appointment with yourself for first thing Monday morning.  (You may wish to set a timer to keep your planning restricted to only 15 minutes).  Sketch out what you’d like to accomplish during the week.  Bearing in mind your existing responsibilities — work, domestic, relationship, health, etc. — find blocks of time for your most important projects and talents.

Caution:  avoid over-scheduling yourself.  Leave some breathing room.  The goal here is not to plan activities for every moment of your entire week.  The purpose here is to schedule time to do what’s important to you.

The trick is that you must actually keep the appointments you’ve made with yourself.  If someone wants to interfere with the time you’ve selected, you can defer and demure, politely and in full integrity by saying you have a previous appointment scheduled at that time.

To further ensure you keep you creative appointments, be sure to remove potential distractions —  turn off your phone, unplug your internet connection, close the door and focus on the task at hand.

One advantage of this technique is that it allows you to arrange a more balanced week for yourself:  you can accommodate your creative projects in the context of other life domains.

Option 3:  Quotas

If the notion of actually scheduling specific times to do specific things repels you, consider using quotas, instead.  Rather than assigning specific activities to specific times,  simply decide what tasks you want to complete during the week.  It doesn’t matter when you do them, as long as they get done. These might include  regularly recurring quotas (e.g. write X pages or Y articles, make Z  necklaces, spend at least X hours in the studio, etc) plus unique tasks for that particular week (e.g. purchase needed supplies, submit slides to that competition, etc.)

The advantage here is that your week is infinitely flexible.   It really doesn’t matter when you do the things on your list, so long as they get done.  If you so desired, you could do nothing all week, then pull an all-nighter on Thursday to complete everything.

If you’re the kind of person who likes to ‘keep ahead’, you may well find yourself exceeding your quotas, which can be quite satisfying.  The caution is that you don’t become a workaholic — addicted to that groove of getting more and more done.  It’s important to build in some regular playtime…or your creativity, well-being and relationships may suffer.

*****

Activity: Pick one of the three options and try it for the next month. Monitor your productivity and general level of satisfaction.

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Want more tips and techniques for getting things done? Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here for only $3.99: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

 

 

***

If you’d like to share or publish this article, you may, if you include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.