Liisa Kyle's Blog, page 4
March 1, 2023
Transition Management for DaVincis
By UnknownUnknown author [Public domain or Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Here’s the funny thing about change: it doesn’t matter if it’s a pleasant or welcome transition — say a promotion or new relationship or a dream come true — or if the change is something scarier (e.g. job loss) or sadder (e.g. loss of a loved one) — we still tend to process them the same way. We tend to resist change — any change. Even good changes.Let’s say you’re starting a desirable new job — or commencing a great relationship — or expanding or family — or moving into a better location. You “should” be happy, right? Yes — and yet it’s perfectly natural to also experience a mix of random other emotions — both positive and negative. We can find ourselves being afraid. Or angry. Or sad. Or stressed beyond belief. Our inner selves can respond to change as if it’s ‘loss’ — because it often is. A new job may mean leaving people and tasks you care about. A new relationship can seem like a loss of your previous identity. Moving to a new location can be irksome as you navigate unfamiliar surroundings to sort out where everything is.
Whenever people experience a major transition — be it a job change, a relationship change, a change in homes or something else — it can be challenging. For DaVincis, it can be doubly so because the more we going on, the more talents or projects will be affected by any given change.
And resistance is a tricky thing. It can be disguised as any or all of the following:
– laziness (I just don’t feel like doing this right now)
– confusion (I just don’t get this; This is too complicated)
– excessive thirst for information (I can’t start this until I do another few months of research)
– fatigue (I don’t have the energy to tackle this; I need a nap)
– deferral (I’ll get around to this later/ tomorrow/ after I do my REAL work/ someday)
– excessive busy-ness (I don’t have time to do this; I’ve got too much going on)
– self-deprecation (I’m not good enough; I don’t deserve to succeed in this; I’m too young/old/stupid/serious/goofy to do this)
– avoidance (What’s on TV? ; Hey look at this cat on YouTube)
– despair (What’s the point? I’ll never make it; I’ve missed my chance)
– perfectionism (It’s not good enough; Mine is not as good as so-and-so’s)
– self-medication (Pass the tequila; Mmm chocolate).
So what’s a DaVinci to do when embarking on a major transition?
1. Recognize that you are embarking on a major transition.
Remind yourself of the obvious and cut yourself some slack.
2. Use the change as an opportunity to aim for more things you love and less of what you don’t
Clear some uninterrupted time to sit down and think about what you really want — and really don’t want — in this next chapter. A divorce can be stressful and gut-wrenching . . . and also a trigger to launch as-of-yet unlaunched dreams. A promotion can be thrilling . . . and consuming. Some conscious forethought can ensure some balance between your new work role and your health, your relationships and your extracurricular interests.
3. Expect random emotions to occur at random times.
Avoid judging yourself. Accept and understand that whatever feelings emerge — positive and negative — they are a natural reaction to change. Notice them and move on.
4. Be on the lookout for your favorite forms of resistance.
Review the list above. How do you tend to resist? As you go through this transition, recognize these behaviors for what they are: a signal that you are going through a big change.
5. Allow yourself more time than you think you need.
Getting comfortable in a new situation takes a while. Err on the side of expecting it to take longer.
6. Above all else, be very kind to yourself.
Be your own best friend. Anytime you’re going through a major change is a wonderful reason to treat yourself to your favorite simple pleasures.
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Activity: List a few of the major transitions you’ve experienced. For each, jot down things that worked well — things that helped you get through the change smoothly. Also write down some thing that didn’t work well.
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Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:
Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma
! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .
February 1, 2023
A Better Use of Downtime
By photo taken by flickr user *Micky* (flickr) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/...)], via Wikimedia Commons
“Downtime.” For some people, it’s a blessing. A well-earned treat. A chance to recharge. For DaVincis — smart, creative person juggling many ideas, projects and talents — downtime can be just plain awful. It’s difficult to take time off without fretting about the many things NOT getting done. Downtime can be guilt-ridden and stressful. It can be like gut-twisting procrastination. Or worse — when we “waste” time, we pay a double cost. Not only do we incur the penalty of an unproductive period — we punish ourselves for it. (“Arrgh! There goes an hour of my life I won’t get back . . . And I’ve got so much to do! I’m an idiot!”) This kind of rant is especially likely among perfectionists — those folks who tend to beat themselves up for not meeting their own sky-high standards every minute of every day).It doesn’t have to be like that.
Downtime can be expected or unexpected. It can occur for brief or prolonged periods of time. It might be self-imposed or caused by things out of our control. Whatever the kind of downtime, let’s consider how better to use it.
Expected vs Unexpected Downtime
If you know you’re going to encounter some downtime, it’s easy enough to make the most of it. Let’s say you have to go to the D.M.V. or the doctor’s office or somewhere else where you *know* you’re going to have to wait. You have a choice about how to spend that time. You can do “‘Something Productive” — make some phone calls or read or catch up on your email or attend to small, portable tasks on your “To Do” list. You can do “Something Fun” — like people watching or doodling or playing games on your iThingy. You can do “Something Relaxing” — you can sit there, doing absolutely nothing. Or daydreaming. Or meditating. Or jotting down things for which you’re grateful.
How to choose what to do? Do what makes sense for you at that moment. Do whatever you’d really love to do. If you’re tired, relax. If you’re bored or stressed, play. If you’re feeling a hankering to get something done, do so.
The trick is to be proactive about your choice. It’s fine to do ‘nothing’ — as long as that is your intention. Otherwise it won’t feel good.
The other trick is to make your decision as quickly as possible. It’s not helpful to spend those five or ten minutes in the waiting room agonizing about what you should be doing. Choose something — anything — and do it.
If you don’t already, make a new practice of preparing for possible down time. When you think you might have a lull, give some thought to the best use of that time. (Oh, I have to drop by the bank — let me grab a book to read in case there’s a queue.)
What if you find yourself with time to kill when you don’t expect it? Prepare for it now.
Activity: Right now, answer the following:
If I have ten or so spare minutes, what would be productive? (List at least five things).
If I have ten or so spare minutes, what would be fun? (List at least five things).
If I have ten or so spare minutes, what would be relaxing? (List at least five things).
Now capture your answers on an index card or an iThingy file so you always have it handy. The next time you find yourself with unexpected downtime, refer to your lists, take no more than five seconds to select an activity and do it.
Self-Imposed or Out of Your Control
It’s up to you to manage your downtime, however it arises. If you are planning to take off a few minutes or an evening or a month, you can give thought to how best to use it, based on what’s going on with you. It’s helpful to consider not only what you’d like to do, but why.
Be strategic about the downtime you choose to take. Reward yourself for good work with guilt-free play. Use down time to get more balance in your life — to take care of your health or your family.
If you’re burned out, use down time to refresh and recharge.
If you’re stressed, use down time to relax. To soothe yourself.
When you think about the purpose of this particular down time, it’ll narrow down which activities are most helpful at this time. It’s just as important to consider how you don’t want to spend this time. If you’re fatigued, it’ s better to choose to nap for an hour than to spend the time frantically internet surfing or cleaning the kitchen or downing a pint of ice cream.
Of course, some down time is imposed by things out of your control. How to make better use of it depends, in part on the amount of downtime.
Brief vs Prolonged Downtime
The techniques above work particularly well with brief downtime. Similarly, if you foresee a prolonged period of downtime, you can brainstorm your options proactively and act accordingly. Let’s say you’re planning a holiday. Why not embrace it as a chunk of welcome, expected downtime? Make of it whatever you wish.
Ask yourself: How would I like this period of time to be? What would I like to do? (Relax. Eat tasty treats. Explore somewhere new, etc.) What can I learn? What new things can I try? Equally importantly, what would I like to avoid doing? (I choose not to fret, stress, worry. I don’t want to think about work or situation X or person Y. I’m putting all that on pause for the duration).
When you are deliberately taking time off, be sure to park any guilt, misgivings or other unhelpful thoughts that will disrupt your downtime. What good is a day off if your mind is in the office? What good is a week away when you spend it dreading whatever it is that’ll be awaiting you when you return?
It’s a little different when you find yourself in the midst of unexpected, prolonged downtime. Sometimes things happen and find ourselves amid an unproductive period.
The first step is to recognize that that is what’s going on. Maybe your computer implodes or the power goes out or you break your arm. (Um, guess I’m done for the next while). Perhaps you’re affected by some personal situation or professional source or stress that is hampering your productivity. (The Jones account is in peril. I must pause progress on what I thought was my top priority). It might be that you find yourself in a strange new situation — it may take awhile to get back up to speed. If you lose your job or a loved one, for example, you need to allow yourself some time to react and recover.
Above all else, when you do recognize that you’re being unproductive, avoid beating yourself up about it. “Arrgh! I’ve don’t nothing for two days! I’m a lazy good-for-nothing” is not helpful. Instead, pat yourself on the back for noticing. Better to have lost two days than three or more. Now that you recognize what’s going on, you can move forward.
The second step is to accept the situation. (For whatever reason, I’m experiencing prolonged downtime. Nothing I can do about it so I might as well make the best of it). For example, last week, I found myself managing two large renovation projects. I had one crew jackhammering behind my building and another crew wielding nail guns right outside my window. It was noisy. It was stressful. We were running over budget, over time, and in bad weather. There was nothing I could do to change any of that. I had to accept the situation — and to accept that these days were destined to be less productive than I’d like.
The third step is to make the best of it. Right now, having recognized this period of downtime, what makes sense for me? What can I reasonably accomplish? What would be better to postpone? Is this an opportunity to do something else? (Okay, I’ve broken my arm. I can’t type. I’ve been meaning to try dictation software but never had time to get it set up. Seems like now would be a good opportunity to do so).
Prolonged downtime — expected or not — is a wonderful opportunity to learn something new. To try new activities ‘just for fun’, without expectation.
It’s also a way to adjust the balance in your life. If you’ve been working too hard, it’s a chance for R & R — and to reconnect with folks you care about. If you’ve been neglecting your health, you can give it some attention.
The point is that, once you realize you’re going to have some downtime — or if you find yourself in the middle of it — it’s better to make a choice about how you want to use the time at hand. Be strategic. Be kind to yourself. Use down time as a way of giving yourself what you need at the time.
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For more ideas on how to be productive, check out my book YOU CAN GET IT DONE: Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish
Available here in hardcover, paperback, and eBook formats: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone
***
Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:
Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .
December 1, 2022
Make the Most of 2023
What would you like to do with 2023?3
Some people like to set specific goals for the New Year. Others prefer to give some general attention to a particular area of their life. Keith’s priority in 2023 is to focus on his health. Maria’s is to relax. Maybe you’d like to travel. Or learn. Or create. Or do good deeds. Perhaps you’d like this to be the “Year of Fun”. Maybe you’ve been overly career driven and this is the year you’ve like to give more attention to your home life.
It’s entirely up to you: What would you like to experience this year? What’s important to you? What would you like to explore or learn? What would you like to accomplish, acquire, or complete?
The beginning of a New Year is a terrific time to pause and ask yourself these questions. New Year’s Eve is more than just a festive excuse to party…it’s a chance for a fresh start. Kinda like pressing a personal “re-start button.” If you choose to do so, you can use the opportunity to look back at the preceding year and take stock of your present circumstances. You can identify what’s working well for you and what’s not. You can make thoughtful, purposeful decisions about how to live the next twelve months. With a little forethought, New Year’s Eve can be a pivot point to do more of what you love and less of what you don’t.
If this sounds appealing, I’ve developed a workbook to guide you through a process to make the most of the coming year. It’s completely up to you: What would you like to do, experience, explore, learn, accomplish, acquire, or complete in 2023?
Note the emphasis on you. You. Not what your Mom or your boss or your childhood chum might want. What kind of year would you like 2023 to be? What matters to you at this point in your life?
What would it mean to you if you made the most of 2023?
Whatever your desires for 2023, I can help. I’m an author, life coach, and Ph.D. in Psychology who has spent the past twenty years helping people get things done, get organized, and get more out of life. I’ve coached individuals, facilitated groups, and taught inventive workshops on four continents.
I’ve designed this book so you can get the most out of 2023. Think of it as a personal seminar with a recognized expert, tailored to your unique circumstances and preferences. Inside this workbook are proven tools you can work through at your own pace to foster whatever is important to you.
That’s what makes this book special. It’s a flexible guide that will elicit different responses in everyone who uses it. It’s up to you to apply your distinctive perspective to create and implement a plan suitable to your particular circumstances.
Think of it as a Self-Guided Workshop you can work through at your own pace to:
understand and appreciate 2022generate ideas for all areas of your lifeidentify your true top priorities for 2023make achievable plans for 2023keep yourself on track all yearA Word About “Resolutions”
The way most people do traditional “New Year’s Resolutions” is not very effective. They tend to be overblown “To Do” lists that become a source of unnecessary frustration. They can be overwhelming or intimidating. They often become abandoned which can cause guilt, shame, and a sense of failure.
The alternative is to create a prudent plan that can be reasonably implemented, given your specific circumstances. That’s the purpose of this workbook.
If you’ve been disappointed by past attempts at “New Year’s Resolutions”, let me reassure you. As a life coach, I’ve developed proven techniques for you to figure out what you want and then devise achievable plans to make that happen.
Maybe you’d like to set some specific goals. Perhaps you’d like to solve a problem. Or participate in some key activities to enhance your life. Or establish new habits or practices that are uniquely gratifying to you. It could be that you have an unfulfilled dream or an unfinished project on which you are yearning to make some progress. Maybe you’d like to reduce or eliminate an unhelpful or unhealthy habit.
It’s up to you. Using this workbook as a guide, you have the opportunity to figure out what’s right for you, right now, to make the most of 2023 — then devise achievable plans suitable to your particular circumstances. The Planner/Calendar is designed to help you actually do what you intend.
Give yourself — or someone else — the give of a wonderful 2023. Hardcover, paperback & eBook formats available here: https://rebrand.ly/MakeTheMostof2023
November 2, 2022
How Do You Receive?
By asenat29 [CC BY 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/...)], via Wikimedia Commons
You’re probably aware of what kind of giver you are — how thoughtful or generous or spontaneous or conservative. But have you thought about what kind of receiver you are? When people give you gifts, how do you respond?It’s harvest time. Our apple orchard is overflowing with fruit, so we’ve been giving a lot away. It’s been fascinating to see how very differently people respond. Most people say ‘thank you’ (but not everyone, surprisingly). Some express specific gratitude by saying what they’ll do with the apples. “Oh, this is great — I’m going to make a pie with my grandma’s recipe!” A few take the fruit like it’s their due. (“Cool! See ya later!”) Some look a gift horse in the proverbial mouth (“Has this fruit been sprayed?” “Oh, it’s got some spots.”) A couple of people have used the opportunity to ask for something else. (“Thanks for the apples. Can I take that pile of kindling, too?”)
My neighbor Paul did something impressive: unsolicited, he offered something in return. He took a very small amount of fruit and immediately offered to help us prune our dozens of trees. He was sincere. Sure, he’s retired and kinda bored and looking for things to do but still — his knee-jerk response to receiving something was to give something back in return. He did so with grace and kindness and good humor.
“Wow,” I thought. “That’s the way to do it.” Not only do I want to give him much more fruit, I want to emulate him, going forward.
Let me be candid — and believe me, I’m cringing as I write this — I haven’t always been a good receiver. As a kid I was often disappointed, rather than elated at what lay under the giftwrap. As a perfectionistic, driven young adult, I found myself judging and dissatisfied with many presents. My husband became so frustrated with searching gifts that were ‘good enough’, he stopped trying altogether. (If this sounds like you, check out my book Overcoming Perfectionism).
Thankfully, I worked through all that. Now, when someone gives me something, I’m truly pleased. And fully appreciative of their thoughtfulness and efforts on my behalf. I’m a big believer in gushing praise and written thank you cards. Yet I have a ways to go to emulate my gracious neighbor Paul.
The absolute best gift receiver I’ve met was my grad school roommate Sharon. When you handed her a gift, her eyes literally lit up. Odds were high she would squeal with joy. She’d examine the gift wrap and compliment every element of it. As she undid the wrapping, she gave into the sheer delight of receiving — she savored the moment. By the time she actually got to the gift, you felt you’d done her an immense favor. The present itself was always perfect, according to her reaction. She’d spontaneously extol each of its attributes and virtues. Sharon would express not only her appreciation and her gratitude but her sincere joy — which would culminate with a hug and, often, another squeal of delight. Then, she would display or use or otherwise make use of whatever the thing was — and would continue to express her appreciation intermittently going forward.
Needless to say: her reaction was very gratifying. How wonderful she made the giver feel! We were highly motivated to look for the next opportunity to give her something, anything.
How do you react when you receive a present? What impact does that have on the giver?
Why am I taking about presents and gift wrap? Because it can give us insight into how we receive other things.
Specifically, how do we receive the metaphorical gifts we are given? The opportunities and pleasant events that come our way? Do we express true gratitude? Do we take them for granted? Do we receive with joy or with an air of entitlement? Do we look gift horses in the mouth? (“Sigh. Only one of ten cold calls made a sale today.”) Do we look right past the gift and start fretting about its implications (“Oh crap, I’m nominated for an Emmy — now I have to hire a publicist, campaign, lose weight, tone up, and find a kickass outfit to wear”).
Beyond expressing gratitude, the actions of my neighbor Paul have reminded me: when good things happen, there is an opportunity to give back. When you get that new client, you can write a check to charity. When you get that book deal, you can volunteer a few hours at the adult literacy program. When you come home to find the stove was left on but nothing is on fire, you can makes some cookies for your local firefighters.
Responding to good events with good deeds feels great. I also believe it’s the right thing to do. Any good deed puts more good in the world and attracts more of the same. Call it karma. Or ‘law of attraction’ or ‘the golden rule’ or a ‘mitzvah’. It all means the same thing: doing good leads to more good.
So let’s now turn to our personal gifts. How do we receive our talents and skills? As DaVincis, we have more talents and ideas than we know what to do with. To what extent do we appreciate them? Do we take then for granted? Do we focus on their benefits or their costs? I hear different versions of ‘talent complaints’ from my coaching clients all the time: “(Well sure, I’m an acclaimed singer and I write beautiful children’s books and am a gifted educator…but how am I supposed to juggle the three. And damn it’s tiring. And still I”m not famous enough in any of the three areas. Sigh.”)
To the extent we can focus on our personal gifts — to truly appreciate them — the challenges they invoke become manageable details. That’s the whole point of this website. Discover your Talents. Enjoy your Talents. Having talents doesn’t have to be painful. There are proven tools and techniques to Direct Your Talents effectively, to Work with your Talents, to get Organized and to manage whatever DaVinci challenges you encounter along the way — fear, procrastination, perfectionism, distraction, motivation issues, regrets, maintaining life balance and handling technology.
The follow-up question, compliments of my neighbor Paul: Do we use our personal gifts, our talents and our skills to give back — to foster good in the world?
Activity: Clear some uninterrupted time to think about how you receive the gifts you’re given.
When someone hands you a present, what’s you’re typical reaction? What do you feel inside (really)?
How do you tend to respond when you open the gift?
To what extent to you feel the need to reciprocate? Why or why not?
What are some metaphorical gifts you’ve been given — opportunities, pleasant turn of events, etc?
How did you react? To what extent did you express your gratitude?
Now: think about your talents, skills and other personal gifts.
Think about each one in turn: To what extent do you express appreciation for this talent/skill/personal gift?
What other actions could you take to honor what you’ve been given?
***
Check out my book YOU CAN GET IT DONE: Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish. Available here: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone
***
Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:
Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .
October 1, 2022
Five Ways to Blast Creative Blocks
At some point, most DaVincis get stuck on a project. Sometimes we can’t think what to do next — or we encounter a seemingly insurmountable obstacle — or we find themselves paralyzed by indecision. Creative blocks are a painful yet common part of the process.
Should you find yourself blocked, the first thing to do is to remain calm. This is a temporary situation, even though it may not seem like it at the time. Next, try any of the following five proven ways to blast creative blocks:
1. Take a break.
Do something — anything — else. Put your project on your brain’s “back burner” while you carry on with other things. You could take a *real* break to do something pleasant or soothing — have a nap, go for a walk, have a fun night out. You could toggle to a different productive activity by shifting focus to something else on your ‘to do’ list. You could give some attention to a new creative project…or to an area of life you’ve been neglecting.
Pick something — anything — else and do it.
What often happens is that right when you least expect it — in the middle of cleaning the kitchen or walking the dogs or driving to a business meeting — poof! the answer to your creative block materializes. A solution may appear in your dreams or a friend’s offhand remark or between the lines in an internet article you stumble upon.
This is one beautiful feature of the creative brain…it’s always working for us in the background. Sometimes we just need to get out of its way — to distract ourselves with something else so it can work its magic.
One caveat: set a time limit for yourself. Depending on your particular circumstances, it might be find to take off an hour, a day, a week or more. Only you can know how long of a break is ‘too long’. You’ll know it instinctively. It won’t feel comfortable. It will feel more like avoidance or the agony of procrastination than a ‘break’.
2. Replenish your creative well.
For the most part, DaVincis are challenged by having too many ideas. Yet sometimes the flow of ideas dwindles. Occasionally they might stop altogether — which is a particularly painful kind of creative block for someone with a very busy, very productive mind.
If your font of ideas evaporates, you’ll feel unusually fatigued and cranky. You won’t feel like yourself.
Should this happen, rely on the creativity of others to rekindle your own.
Note that this is both a remedy for a creative block as well as preventative measure. To the extent possible, it’s very helpful for DaVincis to enjoy a regular stream of creative input.
This includes not only exposure to the arts — music, books, visual media, performing arts, etc — but also to new ideas and perspectives. Watch a TED talk about innovations in a different field — ideally something you know nothing about. Go to the library or a book store and browse random topics.
To this end, creativity guru Julia Cameron recommends that we treat ourselves to weekly ‘Artist’s Dates’. These might be a trip to a gallery . . . or an hour spent foraging in a hardware store. It might involve a walk in the woods or a day trip to a nearby town or an hour exploring random subjects on the internet.
It doesn’t really matter what you do –just put yourself in a position to experience fresh ideas, perspectives and creativity.
3. Be childish.
Consider an eight year old — a naive youth unaware of the vagaries of life. How would they approach the project?
If you don’t have handy access to an eight year old, re-awaken your past: Think about aspects of your life when you were eight or so. What were your favorite foods? Clothes? Friends? Activities? Did you have pets? What were your favorite games or toys? What did you like best and least about school? What were your favorite books, music, films and television programs? What did you wear?
Ideally, jot down everything you can remember about being eight. What gave you joy at that time? What issues did you face? What was your personality like? What was a typical school day like? What was a typical summer day for you? What about your birthday? Family gatherings? Special occasions? Describe your home. Your neighborhood.
To enrich your recollections, ask a friend or family member what kind of kid you were. Inquire about things they recall from your early childhood.
Bonus points if you take any actions to replicate experiences from your youth. Prepare a favorite childhood meal (Cheese and pickle sandwich, anyone?) Watch your favorite Disney film or sit-com. Play a round of your favorite boardgame. Ride your bicycle with no destination.
Once you’ve revived your inner eight-year old, take a fresh look at your project. How would your eight-year old self proceed?
4. Try something new.
When was the last time you tried something new, just for fun?
When was the last time you tasted a new food or listened to a new musical artist or went to a new location? When was that last time you learned a new skill or tried a new activity?
Our brains are wired such that any new input is processed in relation to what we already know. Whenever we experience something new, it’s like a taser-like blast into our brains as new mental links form and spark new ideas and insights. “New” is a de facto creativity prod.
Thankfully, there is a limitless array of new things to try. The world is bursting with places, experiences and activities awaiting discovery.
Activity: Today, make a point of trying something new.
5. Be selfish.
Forget logic for the moment. Complete the following prompts as quickly as you can, as many times as the answers keep flowing:
If there was nothing riding on this, I’d ______________
If it was only up to me, I’d _______________
If nobody cared, I’d just ______________
If I was only thinking of myself, I’d _____________
If I was being true to myself, I’d ___________
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Creative blocks can be annoying, frustrating and concerning — but they are also temporary and solvable. Try any of the preceding five techniques to see what works for you.
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For more tips and techniques, check out my workbook BE MORE CREATIVE: 101 Activities to Unleash and Grow Your Creativity
Available here: http://bit.ly/BeMoreCreativeBook***
Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:
Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma
September 1, 2022
Project Management for Creative People
By Mapto [Public domain], from Wikimedia Commons
How many major creative projects are you juggling these days? How are you keeping tabs on each of them? How are you managing each project’s scope, resources and timelines? Do you have systems in place to keep your efforts on track and on budget? If so, congratulate yourself and carry on — and please consider writing articles for us here at DaVinci Dilemma. If, however, you are less adept at project management, consider the consequences.Perhaps you have a vague, intuitive sense of your creative activities — of where you are at in a given project and what needs to happen going forward. It might be a gut feeling of being ‘behind’ or a indistinct intention to finish ‘sometime’. And this can be such a tenuous sort of monitoring that things fall through the cracks or are done inefficiently.
Sometimes we waste resources or time — and probably other people’s time — because of missed deadlines or miscalculations or errors in sequencing which activities need to happen in which order.
Sometimes we can’t find work we’ve already done…so we are forced to do it again, costing us more time and effort.
Sometimes our communications are weak or ineffective because we don’t have an adequate grasp on our project.
Sometimes our progress is derailed because our understanding of our project is too vague to solve challenges or obstacles that arise.
Without adequate monitoring, our activities on a given creative project can wane or cease.
Sometimes it’s been so long since we worked on something, it takes a great deal of momentum to bring ourselves back up to speed, let alone proceed.
Sometimes entire projects become forgotten. Have you ever discovered a partially completed project…and you can’t recall starting it, nor can you fathom why or when you stopped working on it?
To the extent that you can keep good track of your major creative projects, you can avoid all these costs. You can get more done, more efficiently with less stress and less waste. You can put your time, efforts and creativity to good use, rather than squander it. You can identify challenges and solve problems you encounter . You can assess and manage risks as they arise.
Effective project management involves keeping track of the Holy Trinity — the time frame, scope and resources — of our creative activities. Time frame is straightforward: what needs to be done by when. Scope includes the size and nature of the project — as well as it’s purpose. Resources include not only the financial costs and necessary materials but also the people involved — the customers, colleagues, service providers and stakeholders.
If we are launching a major new creative project with foresight and purpose, it’s easy enough to give some thought to how it makes sense to monitor our progress. Maybe there are particular milestones or deadlines or audiences to target.
But sometimes creative endeavors begin with less foresight or fanfare. We start off writing a blog post and before we know it we realize we’re four chapters and four months into drafting a new novel. Or a brainstorming session leads to some general inquiries and random conversations and poof! two years later we’re somehow filing a patent for a new product.
It doesn’t matter how or when you realize you’re working on a major new creative project, the point is that once you recognize it, you have an opportunity to manage the project more effectively. With just a few minutes of attention, you can instigate some project management techniques and reap their benefits.
Let’s start right now.
What major creative projects are you working on these days? Make a list.
Pick your most important project. Define its scope, including its purpose. Describe your time line. What are your major milestones and deadlines? What resources are being invested in this project — financial, materials, and personnel? How are you keeping track of your progress — your activities, your costs, your communications? How are you monitoring what you’ve done and what you have to do?
If you detect some gaps in your project management, commit to finding solutions that will work for your unique situation and personal preferences. There are all manner of apps, websites and software available to keep track of projects, if that appeals. Some prefer charts and visual representations to see ‘at a glance’ the status of different aspects of the project. It can be as simple as dedicating a computer file or journal to record of all aspects of a project — your ideas, your plans, your activities, costs and goals. Ideally, you’re seeking a handy, easy way to capture all thoughts and ideas about the project; to make notes about what you need to ask or discuss with whom; to keep track of what you’ve pitched to whom, when.
If you are working on more than one major creative project, set up relevant systems to manage each of them. In each case, strive for something simple and easy. The goal here is to keep yourself aware, informed and on track. It’s not helpful if your project management is unduly taxing or stressful.
Personally, I like using hard cover journals for each project. It may seem old school but its served me well for decades. I can write, sketch, color code; glue in clippings and pictures, draw graphs and timelines, log communications and meetings — all without relying on electricity or risking electronic failures. (Having lost electronic files, have hard drives crashed and even lost all the data in an electronic organizer, I’m comfortable using Luddite methods to keep tabs on my most important projects). These journals are easy to carry around, easy to shelve and always at the ready. Tucked inside the front of each is a single piece of paper to represent the overview of the entire project — usually festooned with post-its. “To Do Today”; “To Do This Week”; Questions; and so forth.
The other important piece here is to establish a regular review of the project. Spend at least a few minutes on a regular basis — daily or weekly or whatever makes sense — to take stock of each of your major creative projects: where are you at? What’s completed? What’s next? What’s working well? What’s not? What adjustments need to happen going forward?
Activity: Review the project management of your most important creative project. Commit to finding solutions to keep track of your project’s scope, including its purpose. Describe your time line. What are your major milestones and deadlines? What resources are being invested in this project — financial, materials, and personnel? How are you keeping track of your progress — your activities, your costs, your communications? How are you monitoring what you’ve done and what you have to do? What will be an easy way for you to monitor these aspects of your project going forward? What would be an effective interval to have a regular review your your project — daily, weekly or something else? Schedule it and make it happen.
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Want more tips and techniques for getting things done? Check out my book YOU CAN GET IT DONE: Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish
Available here in paperback and eBook fomats: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone
***
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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma
August 1, 2022
Gratitude 2.0: An Easy, Effective Daily Gratitude Practice
By Moeez [CC BY-SA 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/...)], from Wikimedia Commons
Do you practice daily gratitude? Or perhaps you’ve tried it in the past but soon got bored with activity of jotting down a daily ‘laundry list’ of the things you appreciate. In either case, there’s an easy, effective way to super-charge your gratitude practice.Why bother?
Making a daily practice of expressing gratitude may seem childish or ‘woo-woo’ or self-indulgent . . . but this habit has a ton of practical benefits. Taking a few moments to appreciate even small things can:
* help you feel better about your circumstances — whatever is going on
* combat frustration or a sense of being overwhelmed
* shift your focus to the here and now (rather than fretting about the future or regretting the past)
* elevate your mood
* improve your relationships,
* balance your life, and more.
This is especially true for DaVincis i.e. smart, creative people juggling many ideas, projects and talents. With so much going on, it’s easy to be overwhelmed by all that isn’t done or isn’t going well. It helps to start each day reminding ourselves of what we *have* accomplished and what *is* working well in our lives. It gives us firmer footing to tackle the day’s agenda.
I’ve done this for years and advise my friends, colleagues and coaching clients to do the same.
Recently, I discovered I’ve been doing it wrong. Well, not ‘wrong’ — there’s no wrong way to express appreciation. But I’ve found an easy, effective way to make my daily gratitude practice far more powerful.
Here’s how to super-charge your gratitude practice:
Step 1: Clear a few private, uninterrupted minutes for private reflection.
Step 2: Write down (at least) seven things for which you are grateful. As you list each item you appreciate, state why.
“I’m grateful for X because…”
“I’m so thankful for Y because…”
This small alteration — the additional explanation of why we’re grateful — elevates and deepens each item exponentially. Rather than jotting down “my home office” on a laundry list of bullet points, it’s much more powerful to specify the reasons. (“I’m grateful for my home office because it’s comfortable and well organized and pleasingly decorated and is full of books I adore plus it provides a pleasant, quiet space to accomplish my work efficiently and effectively.”)
Step 3: Read your list out loud.
As you do so, pay attention to how you’re feeling. (Hint: you’re apt to feel great!)
Be sincere. To the extent that you can suspend any judgement or pride to utter your thanks aloud, the more powerful the practice and the deeper the sense of gratitude.
Step 4: Do the preceding steps each and every day, choosing (at least) seven NEW things to appreciate.
That’s it. Easy, efficient steps to establish a powerful, rewarding practice of daily gratitude.
Do yourself a favor. Try it right now. Jot down seven things for which you’re grateful — and why. Re-read your lists aloud. Note what happens.
Beyond the initial mood lift, you are apt to find gratitude seeping into more of your day. Even a mundane observation can trigger a brief burst of gratitude. (“I’m grateful for this alarm clock because I can sleep soundly knowing that I won’t be late in the morning.”
It’s a way to acknowledge and reinforce things that are working well in your life. (“I’m thankful my dogs need to be exercised daily so that I get to go for a walk every day — to move my desk-bound carcass to spend time outside, in nature, enjoying my neighborhood while keeping my dogs healthy and happy.”)
It’s also a way to re-frame things that aren’t going so well into a different, more palatable perspective. If a day is challenging, it’s helpful to pause and think about what *is* working well before pressing the re-set button. When we go through difficult experiences, it’s helpful to mine the experience for whatever good might have come out of it. (“I’m thankful for that crazy-making client last year because he taught me to write contracts differently so I will never go through that again”).
So whether you’re already committed to a daily gratitude practice…or if the ‘laundry list’ approach doesn’t do much for you, try this new enhanced Gratitude 2.0 technique for a more effective experience and to reap profound benefits.
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Want more tips and techniques on getting things done? Check out my book YOU CAN GET IT DONE: Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish. Available here for only $3.99: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone
***
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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at
http://www.davincidilemma.com/
.
July 1, 2022
Stress Reduction Techniques for Multi-Talented People
Are you under stress? Of course you are! You’re a DaVinci — a smart, creative person juggling many talents, projects and ideas. By definition, you are experiencing different tensions and responding accordingly.
Some stress is good — it helps us get things done, make deadlines, be excited about a project, even develop innovative solutions to challenges. Without a moderate amount of stress, our lives would be boring and unproductive.
However, given all we’ve got going on, DaVincis are likely to dip over the edge into excess stress. This is a less helpful, less healthy state in which our circumstances seem overwhelming, our brains frazzle and our bodies rebel.
Step One is to recognize how you respond to excess stress. This varies from person to person, so take a moment to reflect on your own unique responses to excess stress.
Activity: Imagine a time when you were under undue pressure. Pretend you’re back in this situation. Answer the following:
1. How do you feel, physically? What parts of your body bear the burden? Do you get headaches? Stomach trouble? Difficulty catching your breath? Do you experience any ‘fight or flight’ rushes of adrenaline?
2. How does your mind respond? Any repetitive thoughts? Do you dive into problem solving or scenario building…or does your brain seem to shut down? Does your thinking become scattered? What happens to your concentration or focus?
3. How do your behaviors change under stress? What actions do you take? Is your sleep disrupted? Are you prone to stress eating? Do you self-medicate with booze or something else? Do you avoid what’s going on? Do you procrastinate? Is it hard to sit still?
4. What is the first symptom you tend to notice? One coaching client finds himself napping for no apparent reason. Another one feels an overwhelming need to clean and organize her workspace. My own first tell-tale sign is an unhealthy, mindless consumption of popcorn. Lots and lots of popcorn.
Once you recognize your own unique signs of stress, you can address it.
For most DaVincis, it’s helpful and important to include stress-reduction activities into your regular schedule. By doing so, you can avoid or minimize the psychological and physiological consequences of excess stress.
Here are some examples that my coaching clients find effective:
* take five minute mini-breaks every 60 or 90 minutes
* get moderate exercise every day. Make a point of standing up when possible. Take stretch breaks. Find ways to walk more — even fifteen minutes a day can make a difference. A pedometer is a great way to aim for a target distance or number of steps every day.
* take 2 or 3 minute mediation breaks several times a day.
* indulge in regular simple pleasures
* take good care of your health
* spend time in nature
* indulge in good self-care. For some this might be a weekly massage or other pampering. For others this might mean allowing yourself to nap when needed.
* do something that makes you laugh — watch a comedy or get together with fun friends or find other things that make you laugh our loud
* socialize. Connect with people you care about. Express affection. Cuddle your pets.
By making regular stress-reduction a part of your week, you’ll feel happier and healthier — and you’ll get more done.
Yet there will be times in your life when stress amps up beyond the norm. Major changes — both good and bad — can become overwhelming. Maybe someone close to you become injured or sick or dies. Perhaps you experience an upheaval at work or a job loss or are thrust into a new, unfamiliar role that’s overwhelming. It could be a relationship shift — falling in love and getting divorced can be equally disruptive. Maybe a project implodes — or you move — or a new family member becomes part of your life.
Any of these things can cause a tsunami of stress requiring a different kind of intervention.
Here are some recommended techniques to manage excessive stress when it arises:
* recognize what’s going on — that you are in an excessively stressful situation. To the extent possible, define the boundaries. For example, when starting a new job or a new relationship, allow an appropriate ‘introductory’ period when you know you’ll be in for an onslaught of information and random emotions. When challenges arise, remind yourself of the short-term impact . . . and if possible, the long-term benefits.
* understand that you will be experiencing a random mix of thoughts and emotions. There’s no logic to it. It just is.
* be very kind and gentle with yourself. Be your own best friend. Treat yourself the way you would treat a loved one going through the same circumstances.
* do less . . . ideally as little as possible. When my mother passed away, I was incapable of handling my normal ‘to do’ list. Instead, I focused on one essential task a day — and some days it was something like ‘shower’. If I happened to get something else done, that was a bonus. Rather than beating yourself up, accept that it’s okay to be off-track for the short-term. As things stabilize, you can take more on.
* do what soothes you. For some it’s exercise or time in nature. For others it’s petting their dog or cuddling their child. Some paint or listen to music. For me, curling up with a book is calming and also a way to override whatever jumble of thoughts are in my head.
* understand that it’s natural for your sleep to be affected. There’s no need to panic if you experience sleep disruption. Here’s what to do if you can’t sleep.
* get help. Under no circumstances do you need to go through uber-stressful times solo. Tell your friends, family and colleagues what you need. Be open to assistance that comes from unexpected places . . . and be forgiving of those who don’t step up.
* get support. Find the community, spiritual, personal or professional help you need. There are support groups and professional services for every conceivable challenge.
Stress is a part of human existence. When it flares up, take good care of yourself. When things get back to normal, look for ways to reciprocate to those who got you through.
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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma
June 1, 2022
Listen to Yourself
Nobody knows us as well as we know ourselves. No person on the planet is as cognizant of everything we’re juggling — which, for DaVincis can be a heckuva lot. No-one else is as invested in our own success or well-being. Accordingly, there’s a lot to be gained from talking –and listening — to yourself. It’s part of being your own best friend.
The challenge for most of us is that life intervenes. We tend to get waylaid by our many projects, ideas, talents and responsibilities. We tend to put everyone else before ourselves.
It’s important, then, to clear some uninterrupted time, every so often, to check in with yourself. To listen to what’s going on…and to remind yourself of what’s important.
This is not rocket science. It’s not complicated. In fact it’s so simple and so easy, few of us do it. We let random excuses intervene. (“I can’t possibly sit down for five minutes to think — I’ve got to make this phone call/drive my kid/pay this bill.”) Perhaps it feels selfish or silly to give ourselves a few moments of quiet contemplation.
Just do it. Give yourself a few uninterrupted minutes to check in with yourself. And experience the rewards.
Activity: Remove yourself from distractions or potential interruptions. Close the door. Turn off your phone and all electronic devices. The time frame is up to you — five, ten or fifteen minutes works well for most people. Set a timer if you wish. Now, take out a pen and paper and put it beside you. Close your eyes and just breathe for a minute or two. Relax and settle yourself. Now: ask yourself “What’s going on?” Wait until a thought burbles up. If it seems valid, write it down. If it doesn’t, gently push it aside and keep listening. If no thoughts are forthcoming, you can try prompting yourself further with questions like ‘What’s working well?” and “What’s not?” . Or phrases like “I’m concerned that…” or “I’m happy that…”. Write down whatever messages seem meaningful.
When you’re done listening, read what you’ve written. Ask yourself, “What do I need to do with this information?” Take action, accordingly.
Maybe you need to dispute unhelpful thoughts or beliefs. Perhaps you need to remind yourself of what’s important. Possibly there are some actions to take.
The point is that until you stop and listen to yourself, it’s difficult to address whatever’s going on.
Try this activity a few times and see what happens. My coaching clients have found it so helpful, they’ve made this activity a daily, weekly, or monthly practice.
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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at
http://www.davincidilemma.com/
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May 1, 2022
How to Overcome Fear of Success
CCO creative commons image via pixabay
Fear of success is puzzlingly rampant among DaVincis — i.e. multi-talented people juggling many projects and ideas.
Occasionally it’s obvious. But often fear of success is disguised.
Sometimes, it manifests as a few tingling background thoughts such as “Won’t Mom be embarrassed if this gets published?”
Sometimes, it looks like procrastination. You’re going along, great guns on a project when suddenly it comes to a screeching halt for no apparent reason.
Sometimes it hurts. Physically. The first time I gave a script I’d written to a major producer, I was happy. For about two minutes. Then an intense sensation began in my solar plexus, accompanied by a persistent shortness of breath. This continued for two days before I consulted with a writer friend.
“Oh, that’s just fear of success,” he counseled. “Perfectly normal.”
“But this makes no sense,” I said. “It’s a great opportunity. Why am I so afraid? And why is it this intense?”
Over the years, I’ve learned a lot about fear of success in my own life and also from coaching smart, creative people. If you suspect you’re experiencing fear of success, here’s what you need to know:
First, realize there are legitimate reasons to fear success.
* success may change you
* success may change expectations about you
* success may change how others view you
* success may change your relationships with others
The key word here is ‘change.’ Success may indeed lead to change. Change is good . . . and change is also terrifying. Especially to your brain — your mind wants to protect you from harm, so it devises clever ruses to thwart your progress.
So it’s important to recognize fear of success in it’s many disguises. How does YOUR fear of success manifest?
Read the following list of possible symptoms of fear of success. Which sound familiar?
– laziness (I just don’t feel like doing this right now)
– confusion (I just don’t get this; This is too complicated)
– excessive thirst for information (I can’t start this until I do another few months of research)
– fatigue (I don’t have the energy to tackle this; I need a nap)
– embarrassment (This is just a cliche/so bad/amateur; What will Grandma say when she sees what I’ve made?)
– deferral (I’ll get around to this later/ tomorrow/ after I do my REAL work/ someday)
– excessive busy-ness (I don’t have time to do this; I’ve got too much going on)
– self-deprecation (I’m not good enough; I don’t deserve to succeed in this; I’m too young/old/stupid/serious/goofy to do this)
– avoidance (What’s on TV? ; Hey look at this cat on YouTube)
– despair (What’s the point? I’ll never make it; I’ve missed my chance)
– perfectionism (It’s not good enough; Mine is not as good as so-and-so’s)
– self-medication (Pass the tequila; Mmm chocolate)
– physical pain, shortness of breath
Once you recognize what’s going on, you can take action. And that’s really what you’ve got to do: take some action, despite the fear of success.
Approach # 1: Feel the Fear & Do it Anyway
Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. has made a career out of helping people overcome fears. In her many, terrific books are numerous, helpful tools to manage and reduce fear. In a nutshell, she says EVERYONE is afraid, so it’s no biggie that you are. Your fear will grow until you take action. So…’feel the fear and do it anyway’. ANY action will reduce your anxiety. It’s better to do something/anything than wallow in helplessness. Her recommended mantra: “whatever happens, I’ll handle it”.
Say it aloud: whatever happens, I’ll handle it.
Approach #2: Use Logic
Would you rather be unsuccessful? If so, there’s no reason to be reading this article.
If you do want to be successful, then you need to overcome your fear of success. Write down the reasons you want to succeed. Be as detailed as possible.
Write down at least ten reasons why you deserve to be successful.
Now: address your symptom head on. If you’re procrastinating, stop. Take action. If you’re fatigued, get a good night’s rest and start fresh in the morning.
Approach #3: Trick yourself
Pretend that you have already accomplished what you want. Practice acting successful. Act ‘as if’ you were successful. Fake it ’til you make it.
But what if I become successful and my worse fears come true?
Let’s say your real fear of success is that you don’t want to deal with the negative consequences — the haters, the jealousy, people wanting things from you, people wanting to take advantage of you and so forth.
Well maybe it won’t. The truth is you can’t predict what will happen when you become successful. It does you no good to be sabotaging your own success based on a fear of what *might* happen in the future. All you can do is carry on, best you can. When challenges arise, deal with them. Whatever happens, you can handle it.
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Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:
Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at
http://www.davincidilemma.com/
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