Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 490
August 1, 2012
August 1, 2012: Days of Stargate: Atlantis Past! SGA’s Season 3! No Man’s Land! We check out Minami! The Olympics Update!
Our trip down Stargate: Atlantis memory lane continues as we dedicate August to SGA’s third season. We kick things off with….
NO MAN’S LAND
(301)
The enemy of my enemy is my friend. Or, in this case, at the very least, a most unlikely ally. I’ve always loved characters that inhabit that grey area between black and white, not quite good yet not quite evil either – colorful, unpredictable, and oh so dangerous. With the hive ships headed for Earth, Sheppard, McKay, and Ronon have no choice but to thrown in their lot with the mercurial Michael. Meanwhile, in the midst of a crisis situation, Dr. Weir is recalled to Earth where she faces off against representatives of the I.O.A., proving herself more than a match for her critics. Instances like these showed Weir at her best – as a civilian commander alternately diplomatic yet determined and unwavering in the face of a challenge.
Throughout the show’s run, those wraith sets were in a constant state of development and improvement. Compare the cocoons or the walls of the hive ships from early episodes to the versions here – or in much better versions in season 4 and 5. It wasn’t just textural issues (we needed the ships to look organic rather than plastic) but color and lighting as well that really sold the alien feel. At this point, I don’t think we were completely happy with what we had.
Guest starring Robert Picardo and Tamlyn Tomita! Robert reprises his role as Richard Woolsey – and what a long way the character has come since his introduction as a pencil-pushing trouble-maker back on SG-1. Still, it would be a couple of more years before the character would be fully redeemed, assuming command on the Atlantis expedition in the show’s fifth season and showing a vulnerability and sense of humor that eventually endeared himself to viewers. Tamlyn, meanwhile, plays the role of Chinese representative Shen Xiaoyi who will put in appearances in a total of four episodes of the franchise, most notably in SGA’s fifth season mind-twister Remnants.
Favorite exchange -
Michael: Good luck.
Sheppard: Thanks, it’ll be a walk in the park. A very scary park, filled with monsters who are trying to kill me.
The other night, we checked out Miniami the sister restaurant to our favorite Japanese sushi spot, Miku. Some of the photo highlights…
Steve and Jodi came along for the ride.
The Jidori chicken and foie gras gyoza in truffle dashi consomme
The spicy pork gyoza with savoy cabbage, chill oil, soy, and vinegar.
Sushi
Minami’s menu is similar to Miku in many respects with some of the standard favourites (ie. the Aburi Oshi Salmon Sushi pictured above that is nothing short of spectacular in its spicy, peppery, aburi presentation), but it also offers a few unique items all its own (like the outstanding gyozas pictured). The room is less noisy and brighter than Miku and, for that reason, Akemi actually preferred it.
The desserts were overwhelmingly weighed toward the fruit-heavy so we wrapped things up early and took our show on the road, over to Giovane Cafe for a trio of sweet treats:
Growing up, this is the cake my father would get me every birthday. G’s version is more mousse than cake and, I dare say, an improvement on the original.
The Peanut Butter Hedgehog. I’m a sucker for any peanut butter-themed dessert and this one doesn’t disappoint.
And, of course, my favorite – the chocolate zepole.
We were only two doors down from Bella Gelateria so we figured “Hell, why not?” and headed over for a scoop -
Or four.
Operation Stuff-Your-Face was a resounding success.
A special thank you to Jodi and Steve for helping us attain our lofty goals.
And, of course, Akemi, my culinary wing-gal.
Let’s leave you with a few Olympic-related updates. In case you missed it:
Badminton Players Kicked Out Of London Olympics For Trying To Lose
NBC Edited Out Women’s Gymnastics Fall To Create Fake Gold Medal Suspense
Olympics 2012: Medal tax is all the thanks US Olympic athletes get
South Korean fencer turns down special medal at the Olympics
Today’s entry is dedicated to blog regular and birthday gal, sis! Happy Birthday! And don’t forget to make reservations for us at Au Pied de Cochon and Garde Manger this Christmas!
Tagged: Atlantis, Days of Stargate Past, Minami, No Man's Land, science fiction, scifi television, SF television, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis
July 31, 2012
July 31, 2012: News of Note!
Hey, when do the Olympics start?
Oh, really? Well, don’t say anything. I’m recording them so that I can sit down and watch them in one sitting whenever my schedule clears up. Maybe later this year or early 2013.
I’ll spare you my biennial Olympic rant and leave you with a link that does a wonderful job of encapsulating why I hate the Olympics so much. A South Korean fencers years of training are no match for technical glitches and suspect judging: An Olympic Fencer Refuses To Leave The Floor After Getting Screwed www.buzzfeed.comIn the match that would decide who would fence for the gold, Germany’s Britta Heidemann landed a match-clinching touch. But was it in time? South Korea’s Shin A Lam didn’t think so. So …
Ah, the pursuit of excellence. And tasty, tasty flesh: Greek Olympian says competitor bit her in fight
Which brings to mind: Top 10 Summer Olympic Controversies Throughout History
Yep. Nothing quite like the celebration of amateur sports…for those lucky enough to get tickets…and actually use them: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/olympics/london-2012/9434744/London-2012-Olympics-Empty-seats-on-the-opening-day-prompts-investigation.html
Start planning for the 2014 Games: The 7 Easiest Olympic Events to Win a Medal In
Hmmm. Interesting: NIELSEN Sued for Allegedly Manipulating TV Ratings…
Upcoming Science Fiction and Fantasy Movies That Aren’t Remakes, Sequels or Prequels Yes, apparently there ARE some.
Quick Meme: Which SciFi Shows Had the Best Endings?
I bet it smells like that crappy dinner I had in Kits last year: Company unveils first weight-loss fragrance ever
And they keep forgetting to rewind their videos after viewing: Who still uses AOL dial-up Internet service?
Take a moment to help save this dog: BC Provincial Court Kelowna, Regional District of Central Okanagan: Rule against euthanizing innocen www.change.orgThis dog is been kept in inhumane conditions in solitary confinement for 17 months. Diesel is being accused of being aggressive and dangerous….
And this dog and potentially many more: Case of Wicca raises serious concerns about … – SPCA Montréal
My mother’s favorite author, Maeve Binchy, passes: Maeve Binchy, Writer Who Evoked Ireland, Dies at 72. Last year, blog regular Shirt’n'Tie was kind enough to arrange for my mother to receive a signed copy of one of her books. Thanks, Paul.
July 30, 2012
July 30, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club Reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Mystery Men!
Awesome! Fantastic! Amazing! All words monster use to describe The Mystery Men. Soundtrack. Some terrific tunes in dis movie. Terrific!
On de other hand, words monster use to describe de aktual movie = Meh. Okay. And Didn’t-make-monster’s-eyeballs-bleed-so-dere’s-dat.
Movie offer promising premise of second tier superheroes who always being upstaged by top-tier hero, Captain Amazing. But when Captain Amazing captured by his arch-nemesis, Cassanova Frankenstein, our second tier heroes have to step up and save de day.
Plot pretty linear but problem not so much predictability of story but fakt dat movie not all dat funny. Dere be a few funny moments but, mostly, Mystery Men made up of lost opportunities and lame gags. Charakters, for de most part, are interesting – even tho deir superpowers aren’t. But me tink dat de point.
Blue Raja. Hey. He not blue!
Blue Raja have power to trow cutlery wit more or less deadly precision. And also have power to talk like Stewie from Family Guy. He live at home wit his mom and, in one of movie’s high points, he reveal his secret superhero identity to mom who give him de speshul silverware for his big mission.
Shoveler!
Shoveler just hit people wit shovel. Me like his superpower best as it someting us regular folks can aspire to. He have a family who care about him and his superhero job cause lots of friktion wit his wife (note: not de good kind). Me liked what we see of his home life and nice pay-off wit proud family at end of movie.
Mr. Furious. A.k.a. Mr. Annoying-Douchebag.
Mr. Furious superpower is explosive temper dat never really amount to much. He played by aktor Ben Stiller who keep his streak alive of being Super Irritating in every movie he ever been in. Congratulashuns to Mr. Stiller. Dat very hard to do. On de one hand, he not funny, not a very good aktor, and incredibly annoying. On de other hand…uh, on de other hand…hmmm, where de other hand?
The Bowler!
The Bowler trow bowling ball (containing skull of dead dad) wit deadly accuracy.
Rounding out de crew is Invisible Boy (who got his powerz becuz nobody notices him and can only turn invisible when no one looking – an idea “borrowed” by de show Misfits), and De Spleen who knock people out wit his fartz (in movie’s lamest running gag).
But dey face formidable opponents in -
- Cassanova Frankenstein and his lootentants, Tony P. and Tony C., leaders of De Disko Boyz!
Sorry Mystery Men. You may be heroes of dis movie, but Tony P steal de show. Check out his awesomeness…
Anyway, Mystery Men crash party Cassanova Frankenstein is hosting in bid to reskue Captain Amazing. Dey get off to a rough start by accidentally killing Captain Amazing, but finish strong by stopping Cassanova Frankenstein from unleashing his ultimate weapon…De Psyko-Frakulator!
Verdikt: Great potenshul but weak exekution. Less high points (“You must lash out with every limb, like the octopus who plays the drums.”) den low points (Every scene wit de Spleen, humpy skunk, surprizingly unfunny superhero try-out sekwence). Ben Stiller consistently terruble. But Eddie Izzard as Mr. P be absolutely fabulous!
Still, like me said – monster’s eyeballs didn’t bleed.
Rating: 6 chocolate chippee cookies.
Tagged: Comic Books, Comics, Cookie Monster, Cookie Monster reviews Mystery Men, Mystery Men, superhero movies, superheroes, SuperMovie of the Week Club
July 29, 2012
July 29, 2012: Snapshot Sunday! The results of The Greatest Season-Ending Cliffhanger in Stargate History Poll! And lucky winners!
Bubba says: “Come on in! The water’s fine!”
Today, I was up at the crack of dawn – ish, at a little after 9:00 a.m., so that we could pack up up all three dogs and head on over to the beach for the monthly Pugs on the Beach gathering. Lately, there hasn’t been much of a turnout, but that hasn’t stopped the Jelly, Lulu, and Bubba from enjoying the sun and sand…
Bubba and Lulu. A romantic walk on the beach.
Lulu was particularly excited today, scrambling up onto every lap in sight, charging up and down the sandy expanse, and even venturing into the water. A first!
Lulu even inspired Bubba to take the plunge.
Ah, forget it.
As usual, Lulu was the life of the party. Bubba, her wary sidekick.
While Jelly stuck with routine: hobbling about, barking at the other dogs playing around her, and getting winded a lot.
We brought the dogs home, gave them a quick bath, then headed over to the Kitsilano farmers market. As is often the case, we were on a mission to locate a food item we’d watched someone prepare on Food Network the previous night. In this instant, it was zucchini blossoms. And I’m proud to report we found them! More on their preparation below.
For brunch, we stopped off at Fable Kitchen where I enjoyed -
The smoked salmon eggs benedict.
The rossti with chive cream
The homemade sausage with tomato jam
And, for dessert, a surprise from the kitchen, delicious home baked cookies
On our way out, we stopped to talk to former Top Chef Canada contestant Curtis Luk, the man behind the restaurant’s outstanding desserts (including the killer lemon pot de creme and assorted macarons), who suggested I check out a recent addition to the dessert menu, chocolate pudding (!), the next time I’m in. Most definitely.
Akemi does her Ultraman imitation.
We returned home and got right to work – washing, slicing, cooking, seasoning…
Akemi on onion duty.
We didn’t have enough mayo so I ended up making a batch:
One egg, a cup of oil, a teaspoon of dijon, a teaspoon and a half of rice vinegar, and season to taste.
I stuffed the zucchini blossoms with a mixture of crab, mayo, sweet onions, choco-sweet peppers, and zucchini stems, rolled them in olive oil, then baked them for about twenty minutes at 350.
Akemi made a crab mousse (my mother’s recipe), a wonderful corn soup -
I like to add a touch of chili.
And a kohlrabi salad. I sauteed the leaves with a little garlic.
I spent the rest of the day putting together the package for Immigration Canada – printing up more photos and blog entries, asking more friends to write letters confirming our 2+ year relationship, and even gathering up last year’s Christmas cards that were addressed to both of us. My trip to L.A. has been pushed – and it’s just as well. I have a busy week ahead.
But, hey, enough about me. What of you? Specifically, those of you who won signed scripts and the security badge of your choice in the Greatest Season-Ending Cliffhanger in Stargate History poll.
There were a little under 800 total votes cast, with one season-ending cliffhanger receiving the lionshare. The winner with 41% of the vote, more than tripling the 13% garnered by second place Camelot (SG-1, season 9):
Gauntlet (SGU, season 2) !!!
And the winners of the signed scripts and security badges are:
Joan Chem_Is-Try
and
Shane Cossever
Drop me a comment with your email and choice of security badge and I’ll get the ball rolling.
Congrats to the winners and to everyone else – don’t despair! Plenty more chances to win! Later this week, we continue our trip down Stargate: Atlantis memory lane as the focus shifts to SGA’s third season.
Tagged: Atlantis, Dogs, french bulldogs, pugs, Pugs on the Beach, science fiction, scifi television, SF television, SG-1, SGA, SGU, Stargate, Stargate Universe, Stargate: Atlantis, Stargate: SG-1, stuffed zucchini blossoms, Universe 
July 28, 2012
July 28, 2012: Hoarders Vancouver: Season 1!
Holy crap do I have a lot of crap! I mean stuff. Well, stuff and crap. It’s a fine line. I spent much of today going through my office, throwing away paperwork I’ll never need again and filing away paperwork I may – just maybe – need some time in the distant future. While skyping with my buddy Alex the other day, he advised me to throw away anything I haven’t used in a year. Hmmm. On the surface, it seems like a good rule of thumb. I mean, I’ve got boxes sitting in my crawlspace that I haven’t opened since I moved into this house – back in 2004! Still, just because I haven’t needed it in eight years doesn’t necessarily mean I eventually won’t. Alex was quick to concede the point, recalling a stack of script notes he discovered and subsequently threw out since it was from a project that had moved on without him a year earlier – only to be contacted days later and told they wanted him back and could he resume his work?
Anyway, a few of the things I came across during my late spring/midsummer cleaning:
Oh, I know. The first thing that crosses your mind is “Stalker Alert!”, but I assure you these aren’t mine. They were actually left behind by our former Stargate script coordinator (and, before that, former producer’s assistant) Lawren Bancroft-Wilson whose job it was to coordinate the signing of posters, team pics and, evidently, dreamy photos of a young RDA. Either that or HE’S your stalker!
Now this is kind of interesting. It’s a brand usage manual put out by the studio back in SG-1′s ninth or tenth season.
Check out all the SG-1 taglines. How many do you remember?
A list of the aliens SG-1 has encountered over the course of their many off-world missions. I’m sure there were more.
Vehicles and weapons. Hey, where’s the pain stick?
Oh. Here it is!
And the People’s Choice Award for Favorite Sci-Fi Show!
AAAAH! It’s the bugs from The Scourge!
Hey hey! Check it out.
I’m Danger Beckett!
Let’s go with Dr. Mallozzi. Or MacMallozzi.
Heeey. I remember this script. I’ll share in more detail when our trip down Stargate: Atlantis memory line takes us to the end of season 5. Oooh, in fact lots of interesting tidbits to discuss around that time.
Sadly, that was more or less it. No zat guns. No kino. No puddle jumper. Though, in all fairness, I’ve yet to do a thorough search of that crawlspace.
Only hours left to cast your ballot for The Greatest Season-Ending Cliffhanger in Stargate History!
Take Our Poll
Vote now and leave a comment for a chance to win a signed script and official (looking) Stargate security badge.
Use this one to visit the ruins of the Icarus Base, or get into Homeworld Command where you can use the communication stones to check out Destiny and give Eli a break from figuring out how he can get one of the damaged stasis pods working again.
Or use this one to visit Stargate Command and see how the old gang is doing. Maybe join Sam, Cam, Daniel, Teal’c, and Vala on an off-world adventure. Say hello to General Landry. Steal Walter Harriman’s lunch.
Or use this one to gain entrance to Atlantis where you can pitch in with the science team and help get the city back to the Pegasus Galaxy!
Tagged: Atlantis, SG-1, SGA, SGU, Stargate, Stargate Extinction, Stargate Universe, Stargate: Atlantis, Stargate: SG-1, Universe
July 27, 2012
July 27, 2012: You’re all awesome!
A HUGE thanks to everyone who took the time to leave a comment on yesterday’s entry. Akemi and I greatly appreciate each and every one. Next week, amid the documentary evidence of our relationship that I’ll be sending out will be said blog entry – and all of your accompanying kind words. It’s been a bit of a frustrating/maddening/depressing week on my end (fodder for a terrific blog entry some day) so your responses and support were greatly appreciated. And yeah, I’ll admit it, kind of touching.
So thanks again.
And, as a thank you, I’m thinking of doing something a little difference for an upcoming blog entry. I think I’d like to go interactive in the form of a (sort of) chat. I’m going to pick a date and time and have a little real-time Q&A session in the comments section. Post your questions and I’ll answer. Post any follow-up questions and I’ll answer those as well. To make things easier for our friends overseas, I’ll probably do this more than once. The session (s) will last for about an hour and, once completed, I’ll publish the whole as a dedicated blog entry.
Sound good? Alright. I’m thinking sometime next week. Since many of you work, maybe weekends would be better? Evenings? Let me know.
Hey, a reminder to vote for The Greatest Season-Ending Cliffhanger in Stargate History! Cast your ballot and then leave a comment on the poll page for a chance to win a signed script or one of these Stargate security badges that should grant you access to Stargate Command, Atlantis, or Homeworld Command. Provided you look anything like the picture:
Polls close tomorrow at midnight:
Another little reminder, this one from resident film critic Cookie Monster, who reminds everyone that our Supermovie of the Week Club (in which we watch, review, and discuss a difference superhero-themed movie every week) will reconvene on Monday when Monster will review Mystery Men. He is downright excited at the prospect that “Dis one may not suk!”.
Tagged: Mystery Men, SG-1, SGA, SGU, Stargate, Stargate Universe, Stargate: Atlantis, Stargate: SG-1, SuperMovie of the Week Club 
July 26, 2012
July 26, 2012: Support Akemi! Leave a comment!
Sometime last year, Akemi and I started the process that would hopefully see her gain permanent resident status here in Canada. It’s been a looooong and winding road and it seems that, every time I think we’re “almost there!”, we encounter a speed bump or, more appropriately, somebody who waves us down to inform us “Oh, you’ve still got a ways to go.” So it was back in Tokyo when I received notice that my sponsorship of Akemi had been approved (Hurrah!) only to learn that this was only a preliminary step in the process (Boo!). And so it was when we were directed to forward Akemi’s fingerprints to the embassy in Asia for a police check, what I thought would be the final step in the long journey. But no. Today, we received an email from our immigration lawyer informing us that the embassy has requested more documentary evidence of our relationship: proof of travel together, joint accounts, letters from friends and family regarding our ongoing relationship, and maybe a couple of blog entries.
Letters from friends and family regarding our ongoing relationship? Blog entries? How about all in one?!
I mean, who better to provide written declarations on my relationship with Akemi than the people who are privy to its details – our outings with the dogs, our trips to Tokyo, our dinners together, the amusing/curious/awkward adventures we’ve shared. I’m talking about YOU GUYS!
Take a moment to leave an Akemi-related comment. When did you first read about her here on this blog? What was your favorite Akemi-related blog entry? Why do we make such a great couple?
A little overview of our relationship:
I was with my ex for about 11+ years before splitting up with her in February of 2009. At that point, it was just me and the dogs. Now, I can’t speak for the dogs and I certainly don’t know if they preferred one living situation over the other, but I will say that they seemed pretty happy to finally be allowed to sleep on the bed. And so, we settled into a routine. Every morning, we would wake up and head downstairs where I would take them out, feed them, workout and shower, then drop them off at the doggy daycare on my way to work. After work, I would pick the dogs up, bring them home, feed them, feed myself, do a blog entry, then cap the night off with a second work-out and a little reading. I’m a guy who grows quickly accustomed to routine and while, on the surface, it may have seemed like a solitary existence, I was quite content.
Ten months later, it was time for my annual culinary journey to Tokyo. It’s a trip I’d made in the past (and many times since) that inevitably involve me checking out a host of fabulous restaurants with the friends I happen to make over the course of my travels. One of these dining companions was Akemi who I met through our mutual friends, Moro-san and Keiko, at the Pierre Marcolini Cafe where she worked. I asked her out for dinner, she (warily) accepted, and we ended up going out on our first date (November 30, 2009: Tokyo Travel Day $6 – Ginza La Tour, Michel Troisgros).
In my remaining days in Tokyo, we got together a few more times, for a stroll through Shibuya (December 1, 2009: Tokyo Travel Day #7 – Gordon Ramsay, Mo Shibuya Stroll, Ishikawa (and I mean it this time!), more memorable meals (December 4, 2009: Tokyo Travel Day #10 – Quintessence, Monnalisa Marunouchi, I hit the wall – and I’ve still got 11 restaurants to go!), culminating in a bittersweet goodbye yakinku (December 9, 2009, Part II: Final Feasts and Fond Farewells). I was a sad to leave her but suggested to Akemi that she consider visiting Canada some day.
Fast-forward two months and Vancouver was celebrating the Olympics. I also had cause for celebration because Akemi had decided to come visit for a week or so. This time, it was my turn to play host (February 16, 2010: Playing Host). Akemi met the dogs (February 17, 2010: Dog time! Dim sum! And your Olympic update!), made herself comfortable in the kitchen (February 20, 2010: Gusto di Quattro! We get cookin’!), enjoyed the sights (February 22, 2010: Out and about! Ganache Patisserie! Bistrot Bistro! Narrowing down our next book of the month club pick! And an Olympic update!), and checked out some of my favorite haunts (February 23, 2010: Akemi calls the shots! Tojo’s! We do lunch!) before heading back home (February 25, 2010: Goodbye, Akemi!) and then on to six weeks in Perth to learn English.
But she wasn’t gone for long. After those six weeks of Aussie language school had concluded, she hopped on a plane, returned to Vancouver, and we’ve been together ever since. We’ve enjoyed the Vancouver nightlife (June 27, 2010: Night Market Report!), attended foodly events (October 28, 2010: Refuel’s Annual Whole Hog Dinner!), celebrated her first Christmas in Canada with my family (December 26, 2010: Christmas snaps! Another mailbag!).
In 2011, when I got a job in Toronto, she moved with me. We settled in and, in no time, we were having dinners with old friends (June 21, 2011: Chat and Chow with Alaina Huffman!) and enjoying the local eats (August 21, 2011: Daredevil Eats at the CNE! The Return of the Weird Food Purchase of the Day!) while she continued to learn suspect English from me (April 5, 2011: Joe’s School of Language!) and worried about her visa situation (July 5, 2011: Sad Rabbit).
Eventually, we bid Toronto a fond farewell (September 26, 2011: The Final Goodbye Dinner!) and moved back to Vancouver where we became reacquainted with the city (October 28, 2011: The Great Vancouver Food Truck Tour #3!), entertained friends from out of town (November 22, 2011: Either a power line’s down or someone’s coming to kill you! A leisurely day with the Europeans!) and did a little cross-cultural learning (October 29, 2011: Things not Japanese! Or maybe they are!).
Akemi got her first taste of Canadian winter (December 24, 2011: C-c-c-c-c-cold! Home cookin’! Maximus chills! Dark Matter tidings! And my Snow Monkeys on the verge of a championship!) when we went to Montreal to spend the Christmas holidays with my family – and, of course, check out some of the best my old hometown has to offer (December 28, 2011: Welcome to east coast winter! Garde Manger!).
We kicked off 2012 by going back to Tokyo where I met her family (February 3, 2012: Tokyo Day #7! Braving the cold! Kaiseki! Football Avenue! And it’s all business! Sort of!), then settled back in to life in Vancouver with Akemi showing off her cooking prowess (March 17, 2012: Kitchen triumphs! Out and about! How to treat a migraine?! And a mini mailbag!). In April we celebrated her birthday by having her favorite chef come to the house and cook us a very special dinner (April 27, 2012: Akemi’s Birthday Dinner!).
Most recently, we enjoyed a wonderful time in San Diego for Comic Con (July 13, 2012: Comic Con!) and followed that up with a few days in Vegas (July 16, 2012: From Comic Con to Vegas!).
And those 2+ years were just the beginning!
So help a couple out. Leave a comment!
July 25, 2012
July 25, 2012: Things that really piss me off!
In no particular order:
1. Receiving alarming news during dinner from someone who then leaves the office, ruining my meal and leaving me to stew all night over the particulars.
2. Presumably progressive laws that treat women like they’re in the 1950′s.
3. Competitive reality shows that offer previously eliminated contestants the opportunity to return to the competition.
4. Creative executives who insist on imagining the “worst possible” execution of any given idea.
5. Creative executives who only only want more of the same.
6. Most creative executives.
7. Really thin crust pizza that approximates the textures and flavor of eating ketchup on a saltine.
8. Drivers who race up the parking lane to cut in front.
9. Drivers who don’t honor merge etiquette.
10. Clueless drivers who don’t realize an inoperative traffic light is equivalent to a stop sign.
11. “What have you done for me lately?” attitudes.
12. Delusional individuals.
13. People who order their steaks medium.
14. People who pretend to really “dig” jazz.
15. People so desperate they’ll laugh at absolutely anything to endear themselves to painfully lame comedians.
16. People who invite you to dinner and then keep you waiting.
17. Waiting staff who show off their incredible mind skills by not writing down your order – and inevitably screwing up your order.
18. Individuals who try to take advantage of you assuming you’ll think it too much trouble to oppose them.
19. Those same individuals who seems surprised or upset when you oppose them.
20. Pathetic excuses for human beings who claim to LOVE dogs, and then end up giving theirs away.
21. Losers who consider themselves smart and fiercely independent who consult psychics, attend endless self-help seminars, and get suckered into pyramid scams selling everything from super juice to vitamin packs.
22. People who don’t take responsibility for their sorry, sorry lives.
23. Really great books with really shitty endings.
24. Sears Home Services who you hire to install new window blinds, forget to install two of them, and then don’t call you back for two days and counting after you leave a message at their call center.
25. People who die too young.
26. People who don’t die soon enough.
27. Vitamin water.
28. Salesmen eager to sign you up to a “new contract” who seem genuinely puzzled when you request more information on the penalty incurred for breaking said contract.
29. The Vancouver real estate market.
30. Characters in film/television/books/comic books who constantly refer to each other by name.
31. The officiating in the NBA.
32. The NBA in general.
33. Biting the inside of my cheek.
34. Cell phone plan providers.
35. Junk.
36. Liars.
37. Hypocrites.
38. Deceivers.
39. Lazy parasites.
40. Suicidal nutjobs who decide to bring innocent people with them.
41. Any competitive reality show episode that DOESN’T end with someone being eliminated.
42. People who who insist they can’t taste the chlorine in tap water.
43. Parents who let their kids run wild.
44. Kids who run wild.
45. People who don’t clean up after their dogs.
46. Bouncing a two and a half pound metal bar off my face.
47. Not being able to sleep.
48. Thieves
49. Ungrateful ingrates.
50. Home or office pools that reward second place finishes.
51. Or worse! Third place finishes!
52. Clutter.
53. When someone promises to get back to you but never does.
54. And then contacts you later asking for a favor.
55. When the sexy chef is eliminated from that cooking competition.
56. Flat just-opened Perrier.
57. People on flights who take any seats, assuming that the people actually assigned to said seats won’t kick up a fuss.
58. Fair weather friends.
59. Cheap Q-tips that go all bendy and shit.
60. Filtered bottled water.
61. Banging my elbow.
62. Stubbing my toe.
63. Not being able to find something I just saw the other day.
64. My home theater system.
65. Individuals who claim they love original ideas, but really just want more of the same.
66. Individuals who can’t be bothered to fix bad writing.
67. DVR screw-ups.
68. Uncomfortable hotel beds and/or pillows.
69. Crappy customer service.
70. Crappy customers.
71. People who smile way too much.
72. People you barely know revealing way too much about themselves.
73. People who act A LOT more important than they really are.
74. People who charge into traffic in a panicked life-or-death rush to catch a bus.
75. Almost every superhero movie made prior to 1999.
76. Nickel-and-dimers who fancy themselves high rollers.
77. Paying for wifi at upscale hotels.
78. Waiting.
79. Adding pickled rhubarb to anything.
80. Bookstore staff recommendations.
81. Forgetting poopie bags when I take the dogs out.
82. Driving around looking for parking.
83. Resident Only parking.
84. Dog-killing Belfast City Council.
85. Vancouver’s narrow parking spots.
86. Those seemingly endless battle arcs in Gintama.
87. Accounting.
88. Taxes.
89. Wire coat hangers.
90. This douchebag: Owner of dog found in Kitsilano dumpster arrested on unrelated charge
91. Moving.
92. Blu-ray.
93. Worsening vision.
94. Undercooked brussel sprouts.
95. Remakes.
96. Dropping my cell phone.
97. Trying to deal with any sort of computer issue.
98. Being served a moscow mule NOT in a copper mug.
99. The bullshit many of my friends are going through.
100. The Real Housewives of Vancouver
Just off the top of my head. Feel free to add to the list.
Tagged: Things that really piss me off
July 24, 2012
July 24, 2012: Dessert and a sandwich and dessert. And more desserts. And Alexander and Sarah!
Cookies for everyone! Compliments of Akemi.
Seriously. How can anyone say no to freshly baked cookies, even if it means having them for breakfast? In retrospect, they were the perfect food for what lay ahead, full of the carbohydrate and sugar energy I would need to get me through a grueling day of eating.
Akemi and I met up with our foodie friend, Simon, aka JYS, for a little culinary excursion, Vancouver-style. The plan was to check out the new pasta place in Gastown, but it was closed, so we opted for my favorite sandwich place in town: Meat & Bread. And, as usual, whenever I go, I always get…
The Porchetta
One of the many great things about this sandwich (beside the juicy pork, salsa verde, and fresh bun) are the bits of crisp crackling. I know, I know. I’m sure the daily sandwiches are equally fantastic – but I go with what I know.
The Day’s Special – beef. Don’t recall the specifics but it looked delicious.
Simon throws caution to the wind and goes for it.
We strolled over to Vancouver’s best dessert shop, Cadeaux Bakery, for lunch – only to discovery it was closed as well. So we hopped into my cover and motored on over to Cordova Street for a sweet one-two (three, four) punch.
We started at Giovanne Cafe (better known as G) for three terrific desserts:
The Chocolate Zeppolle. It’s about the size of a softball. My favorite.
The cream in this one is very subtle but its buttery finish contrasts nicely with the sweet, fine sugar exterior.
The Hedgehog – Simon’s favorite. Peanut butter, chocolate, and hazelnuts.
And, since we were right next door, we decided to check out the best gelato place in Vancouver: Bella Gelateria.
He’s gonna eat that.
I don’t mind admitting that, by this point, I was stuffed. So instead of going with a particulate-heavy selection, I decided to go with a light palate-cleanser…
A little palate cleanser: vanilla gelato.
Well, I had planned to launch into that rant today but an early morning skype session with my old friends, Alexander and Sarah, temporarily defused much of the simmering anger. I’m sure it’ll only be a matter of time before it comes to a boil though so don’t mope, the rant has been postponed, not cancelled. Anyway, it was great to catch up with Ruemy and Sarah. She, sweet and upbeat; he, bitter and blase. They’re the romantic equivalent of the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. Akemi and I were hoping to go down to Berlin for the wedding and maybe do a little Madrid and Paris (actually, a lot of Madrid and a little Paris) but it seems unlikely we’ll be able to swing it. Still, I’m hopeful we can make it work later this year. And, hopefully, Alex and Sarah will be able to reschedule their wedding accordingly.
A reminder to cast your ballot (and leave a comment for a chance to win a signed script) in our Greatest Season-Ending Cliffhanger in Stargate History poll. Vote!
Tagged: Bella Gelateria, Meat & Bread, SG-1, SGA, SGU, Stargate, Vancouver dining, Vancouver Restaurants
July 23, 2012
July 23, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Steel!
Making fun of dis movie be like taunting Grover’s cuzin Edwin, de one who eat candles and walks into walls. Too easy. And where de fun in dat? Well, okay, still some fun – but well below average.
Monster have to admit, aktor Shaquille O’Neil be perfekt choice to play role of Steel. Who better to play lamest superhero in comic book history den one of de worst “aktors” in movie history?
In Steel, Shaq play part of genius weapon designer John Henry Irons. Dis bear repeating. SHAQ play part of a GENIUS. He design weapons for army. Anyway, movie begin wit one of his weapons test gone awry. Ceiling collapse, kill gabby senator and injure Shaq’s friend, Sparky, de girl wit de dog’s name. All de fault of Evil Judd Nelson who try to act tough and get in Shaq’s face – tho dis very hard to do when guy you’re trying to stare down be two feet taller den you.
Shaq John Henry quits army and heads back home. Judd goes too. To Bust a Move! While Judd gets job wit arms dealer, Shaq visit his sassy grandma.
On ride-along wit his cop sister, Shaq stumble on bank robbery by gang using bazooka lasers. Hey! He recognize dose weapons!
Shaq report dis to his commanding officer – who not all dat interested, mirroring general attittod of audience watching dis sad piece of film making. So, Shaq say “F him” and put together his own cliche team: wheelchair-bound Sparky, kid, and old man (who, at one point in movie, aktually use de line: “I’m getting too old for dis!”). A-Teamesque building montage ensue. Dey forge supersuit of steel (dat look suspishushly like hard plastic). Armed wit giant hammer (Not for hitting bad guys. It just a magnet of course!) Shaq John Henry Irons is Ironma Steel!
Uh, how much does dis ting weigh?
Gang chasing down other gang. Bulletproof Steel show up (luckily, nobody smart enough to shoot him in de face) and give bad guys de old one two: 1) Stop car wit his sonic weapon and cause occupants to fly thru windshield. 2) Deliver cheesy line: ” “You should always buckle up.” He den use electromagnetic lock to take everyone’s weapons. Cops arrive. Steel escapes by jumping between buildings.
Jumping between buildings? Exacktly how much dat suit weigh?!
He lower himself down side of building and and end up in garbage container. When Sparky contakt to ask him how he doing, he respond: “Just a little trashed”. Ho ho ho. Not only he be a genius; he be a comedy genius!
Bad guys triangoolate signal back to his home base. Evil Judd Nelson frame Steel for bank heist. He arrested! But Sparky a computer tech expert (Naturally. She a movie/television charakter in a wheelchair, duh!) and get him released.
Steel crash weapons auktion. But evil Judd Nelson has Sparky hostage! Steel tell Judd NOT to use his hammer. Whatever he do, don’t do it! Don’t do it! Don’t flip de red switch!
If monster was Evil Judd Nelson, me would say “Okay” and shoot Steel in de face instead. But monster not Evil Judd Nelson. Me just movie reviewer wit average intelligence, not movie villain wit below average smarts. Of course Evil Judd flip de red switch. And electromagnetic lock cause hammer to fly back to Steel. Ha-ha! Who saw DAT coming?!
Everyone except Evil Judd Nelson.
Sparky have her wheelchair outfitted with machineguns. She shoot up warehouse, den use rocket jets on wheelchair to get away in sequence dat is both surprising and weird and really stoopid.
Movie end wit big shootout and Evil Judd Nelson getting killed by lazer dat deflect off Steel’s, uh, steel outfit.
Counting Blue Chips, Kazaam, and now Steel, Shaq hitting 0.00% from de field.
Verdikt: Monster want to use Steel’s hammer to beat on whoever greenlit dis movie.
Rating: 1 chocolate chippee cookies.
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