Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 485

September 18, 2012: Recommend me a great mystery read! Days of Stargate Atlantis Past! Spoils of War!

Not a fine mystery read or a good mystery read.  I’d like you to recommend me a great one.  A couple of guidelines:

1. As much as I respect the classics, I’d prefer to read something set in our contemporary world.  Well, contemporary-ish.  I’ll pass on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Edgar Allen Poe but welcome anything in the Patricia Highsmith vein.

2. Nothing too noirish.  Dashiell Hammet, Raymond Chandler, Mickey Spillane – all terrific writers, but not my cup of tea.

3. No espionage (John le Carre), police procedurals (Ed McBain), cozies (Agatha Christie), legal/medicals, romantic suspense (Mary Higgins Clark), or anything that is part of an ongoing series involving a recurring investigator.  I’m on the fence re: mixed genres.  Yes to a whodunit set on an isolated space station but no to mysteries in which our inquiring protagonist is a vacationing housewife, precocious kid, or a surprisingly wry barnyard animal.

4. Something well-plotted yet pleasantly unpredictable with no annoying contrivances or conveniences (Hey, it turns out Sheila’s great-aunt’s long lost child is really Maureen who just happened to have been working at the estate as a fountain cleaner when Lord Waddlington was murdered!).

5. Something that starts off strong, engages the reader throughout, and pays off with a satisfying conclusion.  I’ve read quite a few novels that manage two out of three, starting strong and engaging the reader throughout, only to deliver a letdown of an ending (ie. In one case, the reason the mystery was so baffling was because the actual murderer wasn’t introduced until the last thirty pages and, oh yeah, two killers acted independently but just so happened to murder people in the same house on the same night).

6. Something with interesting and believable characters.  I don’t care what the protagonist’s schtick is.  If he’s not interesting, I lose interest and stop reading.

According to the Mystery Writers of America, these are the Top 100 Mystery Novels of All Time.  Agree?  Disagree?  Let’s hear from you. Especially if you’d like to recommend something on this list that meets the aforementioned guidelines:

1. The Complete Sherlock Holmes, by Arthur Conan Doyle (Included in this are The Hound of the Baskervilles, A Study in Scarlet, The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes and The Sign of Four, each of which garned a lot of votes on its own.)

2. The Maltese Falcon, by Dashiell Hammett

3. Tales of Mystery and Imagination, by Edgar Allen Poe (Includes “The Gold Bug” and “Murders in the Rue Morgue,” which also received a lot of individual votes.)

4. The Daughter of Time, by Josephine Tey

5. Presumed Innocent, by Scott Turow

6. The Spy Who Came in from the Cold, by John le Carré

7. The Moonstone, by Wilkie Collins

8. The Big Sleep, by Raymond Chandler

9. Rebecca, by Daphne du Maurier

10. And Then There Were None (aka Ten Little Indians or Ten Little Niggers), by Agatha Christie

11. Anatomy of a Murder, by Robert Traver

12. The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, by Agatha Christie

13. The Long Goodbye, by Raymond Chandler

14. The Postman Always Rings Twice, by James M Cain

15. The Godfather, by Mario Puzo

16. The Silence of the Lambs, by Thomas Harris

17. A Coffin for Dimitrios, by Eric Ambler

18. Gaudy Night, by Dorothy L Sayers

19. Witness for the Prosecution, by Agatha Christie

20. The Day of the Jackal, by Frederick Forsyth

21. Farewell, My Lovely, by Raymond Chandler

22. The Thirty-Nine Steps, by John Buchan

23. 
24. Crime and Punishment, by Fyodor Dostoevsky

25. Eye of the Needle, by Ken Follett

26. Rumpole of the Bailey, by John Mortimer

27. Red Dragon, by Thomas Harris

28. The Nine Tailors, by Dorothy L Sayers

29. Fletch, by Gregory Mcdonald

30. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, by John le Carré

31. The Thin Man, by Dashiell Hammett

32. The Woman in White, by Wilkie Collins

33. Trent’s Last Case, by E C Bentley

34. Double Indemnity, by James M Cain

35. Gorky Park, by Martin Cruz Smith

36. Strong Poison, by Dorothy L Sayers

37. Dance Hall of the Dead, by Tony Hillerman

38. The Hot Rock, by Donald E Westlake

39. Red Harvest, by Dashiell Hammett

40. The Circular Staircase, by Mary Roberts Rinehart

41. Murder on the Orient Express, by Agatha Christie

42. The Firm, by John Grisham

43. The Ipcress File, by Len Deighton

44. Laura, by Vera Caspary

45. I, the Jury, by Mickey Spillane

46. The Laughing Policeman, by Maj Sjöwall and Per Wahlöö

47. Bank Shot, by Donald E Westlake

48. The Third Man, by Graham Greene

49. The Killer Inside Me, by Jim Thompson

50. Where Are the Children?, by Mary Higgins Clark

51. “A” Is for Alibi, by Sue Grafton

52. The First Deadly Sin, by Lawrence Sanders

53. A Thief of Time, by Tony Hillerman

54. In Cold Blood, by Truman Capote

55. Rogue Male, by Geoffrey Household

56. Murder Must Advertise, by Dorothy L Sayers

57. The Innocence of Father Brown, by G K Chesterton

58. Smiley’s People, by John le Carré

59. The Lady in the Lake, by Raymond Chandler

60. To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee

61. Our Man in Havana, by Graham Greene

62. The Mystery of Edwin Drood, by Charles Dickens

63. Wobble to Death, by Peter Lovesey

64. Ashenden, by W Somerset Maugham

65. The Seven Per-Cent Solution, by Nicholas Meyer

66. The Doorbell Rang, by Rex Stout

67. Stick, by Elmore Leonard

68. The Little Drummer Girl, by John le Carré

69. Brighton Rock, by Graham Greene

70. Dracula, by Bram Stoker

71. The Talented Mr Ripley, by Patricia Highsmith

72. The Moving Toyshop, by Edmund Crispin

73. A Time to Kill, by John Grisham

74. Last Seen Wearing, by Hillary Waugh

75. Little Caesar, by W R Burnett

76. The Friends of Eddie Coyle, by John V Higgins

77. Clouds of Witness, by Dorothy L Sayers

78. From Russia, with Love, by Ian Fleming

79. Beast in View, by Margaret Millar

80. Smallbone Deceased, by Michael Gilbert

81. The Franchise Affair, by Josephine Tey

82. Crocodile on the Sandbank, by Elizabeth Peters

83. Shroud for a Nightingale, by P D James

84. The Hunt for Red October, by Tom Clancy

85. Chinaman’s Chance, by Ross Thomas

86. The Secret Agent, by Joseph Conrad

87. The Dreadful Lemon Sky, by John D MacDonald

88. The Glass Key, by Dashiell Hammett

89. Judgment in Stone, by Ruth Rendell

90. Brat Farrar, by Josephine Tey

91. The Chill, by Ross Macdonald

92. Devil in a Blue Dress, by Walter Mosley

93. The Choirboys, by Joseph Wambaugh

94. God Save the Mark, by Donald E Westlake

95. Home Sweet Homicide, by Craig Rice

96. The Three Coffins (aka The Hollow Man), by John Dickson Carr

97. Prizzi’s Honor, by Richard Condon

98. The Steam Pig, by James McClure

99. Time and Again, by Jack Finney

100. A Morbid Taste for Bones, by Ellis Peters, tied with Rosemary’s Baby, by Ira Levin

Our trip down Atlantis memory lane continues with -

SPOILS OF WAR (412)

Well, this one was a first – an episode that picks up NOT when we last left off but BEFORE we last left off, introducing a scene involving the wraith that we didn’t see during the attack on the Asuran home world.  It was not only unique in our playing with the narrative timeline, but also an uncharacteristic “cutting to the bad guys”, something we generally avoided on the show.  This scene was also notable for providing one of the highlights for that season’s blooper year when one of the wraith trips and almost falls flat on his face as he brings in the ZPM’s.

This episode was written and produced by Stargate veteran Alan McCullough who, after Stargate: Atlantis wrapped production, moved on to Sanctuary and Lost Girl.  When the time came, I was very sorry to see him (and Martin Gero) go.

Writer/Co-Executive Producer Alan McCullough

One of the standout moments in this episode was the destruction of the wraith cloning facility.  Our VFX department excelled at wholesale destruction:.

Art Department concept drawing of the wraith facility.

And the onscreen version compliments of our VFX department.

On the other hand, kudos to our Special Effects and Make up departments on the grotesque wraith drone birthing scene.  Yech.  It’s no wonder they all wear those masks.

Teyla’s pregnancy becomes an issue for Sheppard – and I believe rightly so.  Still, his decision to allow her to come along on the mission pays off when she ends up assuming control of the wraith queen to win their freedom.  Sure, it’s easy to say it was the right choice in retrospect but if you were leading the team, would you have allowed Teyla to tag along?

Tagged: Atlantis, mystery, mystery novels, SGA, Spoils of War, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis

September 17, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Spiderman 2!

Spiderman 2 be most disappointing sekwel since Grover’s little brother, Mervin, born. Unlike first solid outing, dis foray into web-slinging adventure be peppered wit WTF (What de Fudgee-o) moments and cheesy dialogue.  First movie skirted line between serious and fun, but dis movie veer into stupid-silly territory, at times reminding monster of Richard Lester Superman.  Anyone who say Spiderman 2 is better movie dan original Spiderman need to have deir head examined (becuz monster will headbutt him/her first opportunity me get).

Movie open wit fun sekwence of Spiderman swinging across city to deliver pizzas – but capped off wit painfully extended sekwence of Peter trying to push falling brooms back into a closet.  Dis sadly foreshadow more nyuk-nyuks to come.

Peter late for delivery, get fired, and go back home where – Aunt May, MJ, and Harry surprise him.   It be his birthday.  But he forget.  Seriously.  Who forget deir own birthday?  Sadness continue for Peter when he go back to his apartment and he haranged by landlord for rent – while landlord’s daughter makes googly eyes at him wit her googly eyes.  Peter try to make it to MJ’s play but he too late after foiling robbery and misses show.

Dr. Octoplotz – Why his spine not snap under weight of his mechanical arms?

Meanwhile, scientist experimenting wit cold fuzion and mechanical arms have experiment go awry.  Everyting made of metal (except his mechanical arms and his wife’s earrings) sucked into magnetized field.  Wife killed and he injured.  Mechanical arms fused to his spine and, in great horrific operating scene, he kill surgeons trying to remove dem and go on rampage.

Spiderman try to stop him and Aunt May get caught in de middle, giving rise to another silly sekwence where Dr. Octoplotz use her as hostage and she respond by hitting him wit her umbrella.  Spiderman manage to save her even tho he mysteriously run out of web fluid.  What up wit dat?

MJ. Stand for Mean Jezebel.

Meanwhile, MJ admit she love Peter.  And she prove how much she love him by deciding to marry J. Jonah Jameson son (?).

But MJ least of Peter’s problems.  He also notice he having trouble wit his wall crawling ability.  He go see doctor who tell him it be mental, dat he have “a choice”. So much for subtle psychological portrait of our hero’s dilemma.  And, just in case, it not obvious enuf, we cut to heavenly conversation where Uncle Ben tell him dat IT BE MENTAL, DAT HE HAVE A CHOICE!

Peter decide he not want to be Spiderman anymore and trow his costume away in de trash.  Costume found by guy who, for some reazon, believe it belong to de real Spiderman who must have quit his job (last night, monster find six rolls of gauze, loose sparkles and bag of chicken feathers in dumpster so automatically assumed Lady Gaga retired).  Dis become headline news!  Spiderman Quit!

While all dis going on, Peter’s best friend Harry wanting revenge on Spiderman for killing his dad, Norman (Green Goblin).  He tell crazy Dr. Octopolotz dat his buddy Peter may know where Spiderman be.  As Dr. Octoplotz head off to track him down, Harry call out: “Don’t hurt Peter!”.  Nononono.  Of course not.  Why you tink dis crazed homocidal lunatik will hurt Peter just becuz you tell him he be key to finding Spiderman?

Back at Peter’s apartment, we treated to completely useless scene where landlord’s daughter treat him to milk and chocolate cake.  Seriously.  What dis have to do wit anyting?  Why landlord’s daughter even in dis movie?

Aunt May. A little light in de neurons.

Dis followed up by so-weird-it-almost-feel-like-a-dream-sekwence speech by Aunt May in which she go on and on and on (and on) about de importance of being a hero.  Why she telling Peter dis?  Well, only one of two possible reazons: a) She know he really Spiderman b) She going senile.

Later, Peter decide to check if his webshooting abilities back.  How he do dis?  By trying to spin a web?  No, of course not.  By trowing himself off de top of a building. Unfortunately for him, webshooters still not working and he almost killed in fall.  On one hand, he look like a complete idiot and almost die.  On de other hand, scene is good for a few nyuk-nyuks.

Peter steal back his costume and, again as Spiderman, cross paths with Dr. Octoplotz.  Spidey save runaway train before it can ride off trail track dat mysteriously end in insane drop over city (dis gag was funnier in Blues Brothers, mainly becuz dat movie WAS a comedy).  He collapse but, in super cheeserific maudlin scene, he borne aloft by passengers who stand up for him when Dr. Octoplotz come back.

Hold still. Dis may sting. Me hope.

He deliver Spiderman to Harry who unmask to reveal: his BFF Peter!  Peter convince Harry to tell him where Dr. Octoplotz hiding.

Doc kidnap MJ and bring her back to his waterfront lab.  Spiderman show up as Octoplotz create new experimental reactor.  Dey fight!  For reazons known only to film’s writer, Spiderman reveal his true identity to lunatik supervillain and ask him nicely for help.  Dat seem to work and Dr. Octoplotz save New York by dumping reactor in east river.  Easy as dat.

Peter reveal his sekret identity to MJ and tell her dat he love her but dey can never be together.  MJ wait until her wedding day before abandoning her husband-to-be at de altar and running away, smiling, in her wedding dress.  What a bitch.

Harry, meanwhile, diskover his dad’s sekret lab – and identity!  Dis skillfully set up Spiderman 3.

Or maybe not.

Verdikt: CG shots of Spiderman swinging thru city be almost Hulk level quality but other sekwences pretty good.  Villain, Dr. Octoplotz, be more visually spectakular, but he a far less interesting charakter dan Norman Osborne/Green Goblin.  Why he do what he do?  Just becuz he crazy?  What de point of landlord’s daughter charakter?  De chocolate cake scene?  Still, some great action sewkwences and J. Jonah Jameson be terrific in all his scenes.

Rating: 6 out of 10 chocolate chippee cookies.

Today’s blog entry be dedikated to birthday boy, gforce.

September 16, 2012: Seattle Road Trip!

Hey, remember that movie Road Trip where a group of friends hop in a car and drive cross country?  Well, today, I experienced my own abbreviated version – minus the scene in which someone gets served a piece of french toast that took a ride down the back of somebody’s pants (although, to be fair, I can’t vouch for that stadium pulled pork sandwich).

This morning, Ivon, Lawren, Rob and I hit the road at 8:00 a.m. sharp and made the drive to Seattle in a little under two and a half hours.

We arrive in Seattle

We were there, of course, to take in the big game pitting the hometown Seahawks against Rob’s perennially underachieving Dallas Cowboys.  But Rob had high hopes for his Cowboys coming off their upset week one win over the Superbowl champion New York Giants. Maybe, just maybe, this is the season they’ll show some consistency and live up to their potential (spoiler alert: no, it isn’t).

Outside the stadium, craziness and carnitas abound!

We parked and walked over to the stadium where we checked out the various food stalls.  Our first stop:

Lawren presents: Taco Time!

The tacos were quite good.  Even though there was a line-up, it moved quickly.  And there was this guy to keep us entertained while we waited:

Then, we headed inside to check out the concession stands inside the stadium.  I have to say, I was very disappointed.  I was expecting a little more variety.  And, quite frankly,  a lot more tastiness.  The pulled pork sandwich was dry and the sausage sampler was only one third successful.  The cheese nachos suffered from a woefully uneven cheese to nacho ratio:

The area occupied by the nachos is where the cheese should be while the area occupied by the cheese is where the nachos should be. THAT would be perfect.

And, for dessert, I had one of those average chocolate-covered ice-creams on a stick.  I regret not having waited in line for the donuts.

Our seats were in the 300 section so named because it is located approximately 300 feet below the mesosphere.   Perhaps more alarming than the thinning air was how incredibly steep the seating.  I imagine many a drunken fan has taken a loooong ride down those steps.

Still, we had a pretty good view of the field.

We were in the standing-room-only section.  By that, I mean that even though we had seats, everyone in our section elected to stand for most of the game, forcing us to stand in order to see what was going on.

Boy, Seattle fans are dedicated.  And LOUD!!!!

Fortunately, they only screamed like this whenever Dallas had the ball. Or whenever the Seahawks did something good.  Which was most of the time.

As for the game itself – well, it wasn’t much of a game.  The Cowboys fumbled the opening kick-off – and it was downhill from there.

The game and the food may have been disappointing, but the high point was easily the cheerleaders who we got to see a lot of on the big screen – jumping and dancing and smiling.  I’m not sure, but I think I spotted CNN’s Nancy Grace among the boisterous pompom wielders.  I said to Ivon that dating a cheerleader must be great because they all seem so happy all the time.

We headed out as the clock was ticking down on the Cowboys’ 27-7 defeat, then stopped off for another round of tacos before piling back into the car and driving back to Vancouver.

In the end, great fun was had by all.  With the exception of the Cowboys.

And my Snow Monkeys who lost this weekend and now wallow in the misery of a 0-2 record heading into next weekend’s match-up against the equally winless Running Dead managed by Ivon Bartok.

Nooooooooooooooooooooo

Tagged: Dallas Cowboys, Seattle, Seattle Seahawks, sports, travel

September 15, 2012: Our Major Teldy! Days of Stargate Atlantis Past! Be All My Sins Remember’d!

One of the nice things about this blog is the sense of community that has developed over the past 5+ years I’ve been updating it.  Readers have come and gone but many have stuck it out and become regulars, distinguishing themselves through insightful posts, amusing anecdotes, or their single-minded devotion to the wraith. One such regular is Kelly Hurt who has been following yours truly since 2007.  Although the name may not ring a bell, her pseudonym probably does: Anne Teldy. Back in January of 2008, I held a contest to celebrate the 1 000 000th visit to this blog.  In my January 19th entry, I allowed our buddy Cookie Monster to announce the winner: 

“COOKIE MONSTER: Congradulation to Anne Teldy who post at 10:03 a.m. and be first comment after one millionith visit! Enjoy watch for tell time and hit people with! Also enjoy possible red shirt charakter Anne before she be eated by carnivorus space cow!”

Yes, that’s right.  Anne not only won a Stargate 10th Anniversary watch (not suitable for children under 12 since the damn thing was so heavy it would no doubt dislocate their fragile little shoulders):

A 10th Anniversary Stargate watch!

And a closer look. You have to open the iris to check the time.

- she also won a part on Stargate: Atlantis!  Sort of.  I ended up naming a character after her in an upcoming episode.  

And she was, naturally, pleased to hear it, leaving the following message in the comment section in which she thanked me – and then offered some constructive criticism for my upcoming script:

“Mr. M,

I was so excited I couldn’t sleep last night! I have a gabillion ideas for the character which I know wasn’t part of the contest and you couldn’t use even if I sent them to you. So I thought I’d ask for three small things which aren’t really ideas and which you are completely free to ignore.

1. If at all possible, please don’t make my namesake a ‘space bimbo’. I wouldn’t mind if she were pretty, but please not a slutty airhead. That could get a wee bit embarrassing if people thought the character was based on your actual impressions of me and was not just a random character you gave my name. That said, if needs must, go for it. Better a bimbo than nothing.:-D

2. If at all possible, please have Sheppard growl/shout “Anne!” the way he does “Rodney!” when he’s exasperated or frustrated with McKay. (Sheppard saying my whole name would be nice, too.)

3. If at all possible, have Rodney include “Anne Teldy” in one of his speed-speeches or rants.

That’s my top three requests for my namesake character. I will not say or ask anything further about my crazy ideas for her and you can just ignore them if you want. I trust you.

Thanks again for the marvelous prize!

Anne Teldy”

In the end, Sheppard didn’t yell her name and Rodney didn’t rant about her, but Major Anne Teldy was no airhead bimbo.  She was a pretty kick-ass character; the leader of an all-female team Sheppard teams up with in season 5′s Whispers.  

Major Anne Teldy

The plan was to eventually bring Major Teldy and a couple of her teammates back in a future episode but, unfortunately, time ran out on the series before we got a chance to see her again (frankly, before we got a chance to do a lot of things).  Nevertheless, I like to think that Major Teldy is out there somewhere, leading leading Porter and Dusty through the gate on all sorts of amazing adventures (Come on, people. Where’s the fan fic?).  

As it turned out, Anne Teldy was just a pseudonym, an online handle like the one Baron Destructo uses (Vince Ramone) to leave anonymous critiques on the Downtown Abbey fan forums.  Anne Teldy was, in reality, Kelly Hurt – as she revealed to us:

“By the way, “Anne Teldy” is just a nom de Internet I adopted years ago when I first came online. [It was the way my then not-yet-two-years-old niece said "Aunt Kelly".] My actual name is Kelly Hurt. I asked Mr. M. to use “Anne Teldy” for my character instead as I prefer it and, in a way, it honors my niece as well.”

It was a nice thing to do for her niece.  And, upon further reflection, made things easier for me since Major Hurt would have opened the character up to all sorts of ribbing.

In time, we got to know a little more about Kelly.  That she was unwell. That she was occasionally bed-ridden.  And that she was an avid reader.  This led a number of her fellow blog readers to send her well-wishes in the form of postcards and letters and, in a couple of instances, books!  

Over the past couple of years, Kelly has continued to visit this blog, but these visits have become somewhat infrequent owing to a recent downturn in her health.  Then, earlier this week, we received the following message:

“Hello All

This is Anne Teldy’s little sister. We received test results on Anne today. The news was not good. Her care will now be overseen by Hospice. Our information is sketchy at this point. We will know more tomorrow. What we were told today was at best we will have a couple of more months with Anne. A test will be done tomorrow morning that will let us know if we will be lucky enough to have that much more time with her. If Anne is up to it, she will pop in herself to visit. If she can’t, I will be her eyes for her and share the latest news from this blog with her. Anne is experiencing difficulty with spasms in her muscles making it hard for her to type. I will be happy to provide updates as time permits for those that are interested.

This blog has always meant a lot to Anne, and I will be sure she is able to enjoy it for as long as possible.

Anne Teldy’s Little Sister”

So, Kelly, please know (and I’m sure I speak for all of us here on the blog when I say) we are wishing our Major Teldy all the best and sending positive energy her way.

This entry is dedicated to all of the members of this extended blog family but especially to Kelly in this most difficult time.

And I’d like to cap off today’s entry by continuing our look back on one of Kelly’s favorite shows, Stargate Atlantis – and an episode that turned out to be a fan favorite:

BE ALL MY SINS REMEMBER’D (411)

Actress Michelle Morgan was originally cast as Linara, Davos’s grand-daughter in The Seer, but scheduling conflicts required us to recast the role.  Two episodes later, when we were looking for a Fran, we immediately thought of Michelle.  And her resemblance to actress Torri Higginson clinched the deal.  Michelle was great in her original audition and simply terrific as the friendly but doomed replicator.  Fran’s altruistic eagerness and ultimate sacrifice at episode’s end is truly heartbreaking.   

Another scheduling conflict through a wrench in the production when Chris Heyerdahl, who had previously played the part of the captive wraith, Todd, was unable to reprise the role.  As a result, actor Brendan Penny stepped in for this episode.  Chris later looped Todd’s dialogue during post-production.  Hats off to our amazing hair and make-up department.

The VFX budget for this episode surpassed those of any other episode of the series.  And, in my opinion, it was money well spent:

And another hats off to VFX Supervisor Mark Savela and the rest of the VFX crew.

Not surprisingly, Be All My Sins rates as one of the most popular episodes in Stargate fandom.

Tagged: Atlantis, Be All My Sins Remember'd, Days of Stargate Atlantis Past, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis

September 14, 2012: Feasting at Campagnola! Days of Stargate Atlantis Past! This Mortal Coil!

The other day, I received an email from my buddy, Rob, informing me that this was Passion for Pork Week in Vancouver.  What, exactly, that meant I had no idea, but I knew that if pork was the central theme, then the gang at Campagnolo Restaurant were the people to see.  I texted owner, Tom Doughty, to let him know we were coming.  He gave Chef Ted Anderson the heads up and – well, we ended up sitting down a spectacular meal.  Actually, I hesitate to call it a meal since “feast” would have been much more appropriate.  Rob and his wife, Hillary, ended up bringing home leftovers equal to the amount of food the four of us ate for dinner…

Chef Ted – the master of ceremonies.

To be honest, I didn’t think we’d ordered THAT much, but there were certain items we just had to have.  Add in a few specials, a couple of surprises from the kitchen and…

The homemade mortadella (one of the special’s that night).  My mother’s favorite cold cut.  This version contains pistachios for a nice textural contrast.  Mom would’ve loved it. 

Grilled beef tongue with watercress, warba potatoes, and pine nuts.  If you can get past the fact that you’re eating tongue, this is one of the most delicious of meats.  Back in University, I had a friend who worked as a waiter at a Jewish restaurant.  Once, when a customer ordered the tongue, my buddy quipped: “Would you like extra saliva with that?”.  That was his last night on the job.

The arancini (another special).  Not surprisingly, Akemi’s favorite: crispy rice balls, stuffed and breaded.

In addition, we had some marinated olives, a Stoney Paradise tomato salad (so sweet, they almost taste like candy), and a little something from the kitchen: some wonderful Buffalo Mozzarella.

Next up, the salumi platter.  We decided to go large so that we could try a wider variety of cured meats…

Alas memory fails me on the details of the various offerings but, suffice it to say, it was one of the high points of the night.  Next time, I could just come back and eat that.

From there, we moved on to pizzas: a simple but excellent Margherita, and -

Cipolle – walla walla onions, taleggio cheese, crushed potatoes and olives.  I’ve always been a huge fan of white pizza and this one did not disappoint.

We then moved on to an enormous portion of the tasty house lasagna which was followed by our main:

A pork trio on a bed of sweet corn polenta.  Not pictured: the pork belly tucked underneath.  Akemi was full and decided to pass on hers, took a bite and ended up finishing the whole thing.

Yes, we were stuffed.  But when have you known me to miss dessert? Keeping with the running theme, we ordered all three dessert selections:

Dark chocolate mousse topped with local strawberries.

Trifle alla Campagnolo – cornmeal cake, preserved fruit, and butterscotch.

Mascarpone cheesecake with lapin cherries and pistachio.

Wow.  What a feast.  Camp never disappoints.

If you’re in Vancouver, check them out:

Campagnolo Restaurant

1020 Main Street  Vancouver, BC V6A 2W1 2W1

(604) 484-6018

A big thank you to Tom Doughty, Chef Ted Anderson, Chef Rob Belcham, and the rest of the gang at Campagnolo/Campagnolo Roma/Fat Dragon.

Our trip down Stargate Atlantis memory lane continues with…

THIS MORTAL COIL (410)

I can’t recall a time I was more frustrating writing (and rewriting and re-rewriting) a script than this one.  On the surface, it seems like a straightforward enough story: our characters get into trouble but it turns out they’re not our characters, however they enlist the help of our characters who end up getting killed at episode’s end.  Except, it turns out, they’re not our characters.  It was one of those episodes that required a lot of explaining – which is something I’m averse to doing because I feel it slows things down.  I prefer to assume the audience is smart enough to piece it together.  According to Paul, however, I tend to assume way too much and, as a result, I kept receiving notes to “explain this” and “clarify that”.  The challenge, of course, was not in explaining and clarifying but in doing so in a way that was concise and entertaining.  How successful I was in the end is questionable since I tend to be my own worst critic and the frustration I experienced working on this script lingers.  Still, the episode has its highlights, among them some very nice character moments.

It was great having Torri return as Weir(ish) – although this, sadly, would mark her final appearance on the show.  Even though the assumption is that Elizabeth was killed by Oberoth (this was done to extinguish any hope for a successful rescue op since it would have been something that would have weighed on Sheppard moving forward), I never imagined she was actually dead.  In my mind, Oberoth respected Elizabeth too much – and found her far too useful – to simply kill her. The plan was to have the team uncover the real Elizabeth, in stasis somewhere, in a future episode – something we never got the chance to do.

One of my favorite moments comes at the end of the episode – or, more accurately, after the episode has ended.  McKay finally succeeds in tracking every Aurora class replicator vessel in the galaxy.  As he and Sheppard look on, we see the ships flash up on the star map.  BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP.  Six in all.  ”That’s not so bad,”says McKay.  ”I guess the wraith have really taken a toll.”  Suddenly, another eight BEEPS and the corresponding ships appear onscreen. Then, another fifteen leaves McKay and Sheppard staring, aghast.  I was very specific that I wanted to fade out on an ominous sting, wait a beat, and then hear another eleven BEEPS punctuated by Rodney’s “Oh, crap.”

[image error]

While Teal’c ending up at a reading of the Vagina Monologues was my favorite SG-1 ending, this was my favorite Atlantis ending.

Tagged: Campagnolo, Campagnolo Restaurant

September 13, 2012: My brush with the law! Days of Stargate Atlantis Past! Millers Crossing!

Technically, I was not operating a cell phone while driving.  I was checking a football score while stopped at a red light.  Still, there was no point in arguing with a motorcycle cop who, I suspect, was simply angry that I hadn’t allowed him to pass me on the right.  Boy, it’s been a while.  The last time I received a ticket was some five years ago when I was speeding down Granville Street in an attempt to get home in time to watch the season premiere of South Park (See?  It IS a bad influence!).  I’m not sure if this is the case elsewhere but here in Vancouver, police officers tend to step out onto traffic, stand directly in front of the offending vehicle, and point resolutely from the car to the curb.  That’ll certainly get someone to slow down but, at the time it happened to me, I had to wonder how many cops were hit by drivers whose reflexes were not as cat-quick as my own.  Judging from the handful of articles I’ve read since that day, I’d say at least three.

So when was the last time you received a ticket and what was the charge?  I’m going to guess lewd and lascivious behavior.  Am I close?

Anyway, we were driving home from dinner at Campagnolo where Akemi joined Rob and his wife, Hillary, for a feast.  No, really.  A FEAST: seven different types of cured meats, two pizzas, a pork trio, beef tongue, lasagna, arancini, cured olives, and a tomato salad (just for show).  And, of course, three desserts.  I had planned to upload the photos and descriptions of our meal but, frankly, am so thoroughly exhausted by the experience that I’ll have to save it for tomorrow’s blog entry.

Our look back on Atlantis’s fourth season continues with the controversial…

MILLER’S CROSSING (309)

Back when Martin came up with the idea for the episode that first introduced Rodney’s sister, he was spinning ideas for a title when he came up with McKay and Mrs. Miller – a tip of the hat to the movie McCabe and Mrs. Miller.  All he had to do was change Jeannie’s married name to Miller and, voila, the title worked perfectly.  When it came time to doing a sequel (of sorts) to the episode, Martin again wracked his brain to come up with an appropriate title and finally settled on Miller’s Crossing – a tip of the hat to the Cohen Brothers movie of the same name.  Granted, it’s a bit of a stretch but the siblings do end up crossing paths.  Right?

Some controversy surrounding Sheppard’s actions at episode’s end – specifically, his manipulation of Wallace that sees the desperate father sacrifice himself to save his daughter and Jeannie (and, indirectly, Rodney who was about to offer himself up to the wraith).  Dark?  Yes. Morally and ethically suspect?  Admittedly.  Defensible?  I would say, yes, absolutely.  We went back and forth in the room on this one and ultimately decided that, while a tough choice, it’s one that John would make if it meant saving innocent lives.  Still, the decision greatly troubles Rodney and, given John’s final scene, it’s evident that it doesn’t sit all that well with him either.  From a creative standpoint, I loved the dilemma and the moral murkiness of Sheppard’s call as I felt it added a darker dimension to his at times enigmatic character.

The director’s cut ran long so a couple of scenes were cut for time.  One involved Sheppard coming in on Ronon, sitting in their motel room, watching Battlestar Galactica.  Ronon’s reaction to the show: “We’ve got to help those people!”.  Sheppard explains it’s a t.v. show – but does concede that the lives of the Galactic crew do look a lot more exciting than theirs.

Tagged: Atlantis, Missing, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis

September 12, 2012: Conversations with my Japanese Girlfriend – Podcast #1 (the story of Noah)! Days of Stargate Atlantis Past! Seer!

Neko-chan’s first podcast.

The cultural divide between Akemi and I has made for some very interesting conversations.  More often than not, my attempts to explain certain facets of the Western world have only served to baffle her as she makes the all too innocent error of attempting to apply logic to such notions as tipping, fashion, and vegetarianism.  As a result, these chats have left me  amused, frustrated and, occasionally, genuinely disappointed there was no one around to hear them.  And then, the other day, I noticed the voice memo function on my iPhone.  I decided to test it out.  And the following is the result of that test: my attempt to explain the story of Noah to Akemi.

Podcast (Noah)

Granted, I could probably use a refresher on Genesis 6-9.

Continuing our stroll down SGA memory lane…

THE SEER (408)

As far as “prophetic visions” episodes go, I thought the show had done better – and would do better.  Still, The Seer was not without its merits.  There were a couple of standout guest performances on the part of the legendary Martin Jarvis, the always terrific Robert Picardo and, of course, Chris Heyerdahl as an enigmatic wraith looking to make a deal.  It had its fair share of action, adventure and humor but, at the end of the day, unlike episodes like SG-1′s Prophecy or SGU’s Trial and Error, the visions at the heart of the story don’t really pay off in a satisfying manner (until episode’s later).  Nevertheless, it’s nice to see Carter flexing her muscle in the face of some difficult command decisions, and standing her ground in the face of pressure from the IOA.

Today’s entry is dedicated to longtime blog reader Anne Teldy!

Tagged: Atlantis, Conversations with my Japanese girlfriend, Conversations with my Japanese girlfriend (Noah), Conversations with my Japanese girlfriend podcast, Days of Stargate Atlantis Past, Science Fiction Television, scifi television, Seer, SF, SF television, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis

September 11, 2012: Fantasy Ennui! Days of Stargate Atlantis Past continues! Missing! Mailbag!

What a difference a week makes.  Well, actually a weekend in which my Snow Monkeys were upset in fantasy football league play.  In the days leading up to the week one kick-off, I was incredibly excited, scouring the internet in preparation for the season to come – researching, analyzing, deciding.  Today, I could barely muster the enthusiasm to look into the waiver wire prospects.  My shocking loss all came down to two plays: the injury to my top-ranked running back, Fred Jackson, and a fumble by my top-ranked wide receiver Marques Colston.  In the first case, Jackson’s injury took him out of the game (and will keep him out of action for 3-4 weeks) and allowed backup C.J. Spiller to rack up 20+ fantasy points.  In the second, Colston fumbled the ball on his way into the endzone, costing me about 14 points (6 for his TD, 4 for Brees who I also have, and the 2 point penalty for the fumble).  So there you have it.  34 points.  34 points that would have handily given me the week one victory.  Instead, my Snow Monkeys are 0-1 and I’m heading toward a tough week #2 match-up without my #1 running back.

Oh, well.  On the bright side, all that time I would have spent on fantasy football can be put to more productive use studying Japanese or continuing my seemingly endless spring (through summer and heading into fall) cleaning.

And, of course, updating this blog with my reflections on SGA’s fourth season…

MISSING (406)

Girl power!  A great episode that showed off two of our strong female leads.  On the one hand, we have Teyla, the fearless warrior, who kicks ass and demonstrates the courage and poise of an experienced leader. On the other hand, we have Jennifer Keller, the young doctor who, overwhelmed and out of her element, still manages to step up and come through.  What really struck me about this episode was how reversed the roles were behind the scenes.  There was no way in hell Rachel was getting anywhere near that bridge, much less stepping on it (hell, I don’t blame her).  Jewel, meanwhile, not only stepped onto the bridge, she dispensed with a stunt double and gamely walked across it herself.

And, oh, that bridge.  I recall Carl coming into my office one day, shaking his head, rueing the day he wrote it into the script.  To quote from a past blog post on the infamous footbridge: “Carl envisioned a scene involving a rope bridge and, simple enough, the Art Department came up with a design, it was approved, the bridge was built – and then when we found out the cost, our eyes almost popped out of our skulls. As it turns out, it wasn’t the bridge that was so pricey but the added expense of paying security guards to stand watch, 24/7, to ensure no adventurous teens attempted to cross the damn thing while it was up. It was just one of many surprises that transformed this originally inexpensive episode into a $$$ spectacular.”

Space-gopher! An early concept drawing of the burrowing creature Teyla kills and eats.

Mailbag:

DP writes: “In the intro: “he eats six times a day. He has a thing for cats.”… did they want me to think he eats the cats? Because I did at first and I didn’t mind.”

Answer: Ha.  So did I.  I thought the saving the box of kittens at the subway station was a nice, silly touch.

gforce writes: “What exactly did the ex-Nazi’s hope to gain by all this, bring about the end of the world? How does that benefit them at all? Are they just being jerks?”

Answer: You’d think they’d have learned their lesson by watching the countless books, movies, and t.v. shows that have used this plot. Opening portals to Hell/other dimensions always ends badly for the guys doing the opening.  It’s not as if some gibbering, multi-tentacled hellspawn is going to waltz through and thank them for making it all possible.

anneteldy writes: “I liked Abe a lot and Hellboy himself was great but Liz? How does living in an asylum help you control your firestarting? I could see living in seclusion so no one accidentally pisses you off, but an asylum?

Answer: Good point.  Unless of course they happen to have someone who specializes in treating firestarters.

Wendy writes: “Huh? Any reason that my RSS reader decided to load feeds from your HK trip with Fondy back in the day? Strange, but kinda disconcerting how long I’ve been reading your blog! Lol”

and

JasonM writes: “Why is it that when viewing your blog via RSS I keep getting posts from November 2006 popping up as new and un-read?”

Answer: Apologies.  I’ve been going over my old posts, fixing some of the weird fonts and correcting spelling errors.  Please disregard.  Or, better yet, read ‘em again!

Randomness writes: “Speaking of your Japan trip Joe, you may want to visit Namja Town. It’s an indoor theme park that not only focuses on the fun aspect of things, but also is home to a million flavors of ice cream including stuff like Squid Ice Cream things like that.”

and

Maggiemayday writes: “Squid ice cream.. I have nothing left to add.”

Answer: I’ve got something to add.  Please go to this post and scroll down for a video of some of the unique ice cream flavors I picked up at Ice Cream City including crab, salt and the oh-so-memorable squid: November 26, 2008: Tokyo Trip Day #4, Kaiseki Feast, Porking Out, Sweets and Such, and The Weird Food Purchase of the Day – Japanese Ice Cream Edition

for the love of Beckett writes: “Joe, so sorry that things fell through for Dark Matter. Was it a deal for TV, feature film, or both?”

Answer: TV.  Ah, well.  If it can’t be done right, best not to do it at all – a lesson I’ve learned the hard way.

JeffW writes: “Sorry, I do have sympathy for Indy Colts fans, just no sympathy for the Irsays. This is why:

http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/baltimore-colts-move-to-indianapolis

I went to bed that night hearing Bob Irsay say the Colts were staying in Baltimore and woke up to news they were gone…left in the middle of the night.”

Answer: At least Modell was clear about his intentions and, after leaving, left Browns their identity.  Irsay simply hijacked the team in his infamous midnight move.  Classless.

Ponytail writes: “When are we going to Tokyo? November?”

Answer: That’s the plan.

Michelle writes: “Even better reason not to go back to Japan is their fishermen are again killing whales and dolphins for their (mercury-ridden) meat at The Cove.  I wonder what the average Japanese citizen thinks of this, if they even know. Real-time reports: https://www.facebook.com/SeaShepherdCoveGuardiansOfficialPage“

Answer: According to Akemi, whale meat was eaten by the older generation back in the day because it was cheaper.  Very few people eat it today.  It’s neither popular nor one of those “fashionable” dishes that might explain why it continues to be eaten.  Most consider its greasy, gummy texture unappetizing.  As for dolphins – the fact that they are being eaten in certain areas of Japan was shocking news to her and her friends.  Like the seal hunt, it’s a suspect activity isolated to a few places that excuse their behavior on the grounds that it puts money in the pockets of impoverished communities.

Tagged: Atlantis, Days of Stargate Atlantis Past, fantasy football, Missing, SGA, Stargate, Stargate: Atlantis

September 10, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club Reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Hellboy!

Smart, stylish, funny and romantic.  No, dis not Monster’s horney.com profile.  It be desktription of Hellboy, a movie me would call an anty-superhero movie.  Why monster call it anty-superhero movie?  Becuz monster’s Anty Florence not big fan of superhero movies, but she really like superhero movies dat defy de genre by taking established cliches and turning dem on deir head.  And dis be one of dose movies.

Movie begin during WWII when Allied forces led by nerdy young scientist stop bald guy in bathrobe and Nazis from…opening gateway to other dimension/Hell/apokalips.  Yeah, okay.  Not exactly original idea but, back in de 40′s, what a bad guy to do?  Conquer de world and open gateways to other dimension, dats what.  Anyhoo, gateway opened for only a few seconds before Allies attack and shut it down. Nazis eskape but soldiers discover someting dat came thru gate – someting from another dimension.  A weird and scary little creature dat look like…

DIS!

Oops.  Me sorry.  Not DAT weird and scary.  Monster try again.  A weird and scary little creature dat look like…

Dis!

Awwww.  Little creature so cute army decide not to blow its brains out. Instead, dey keep and call him Hellboy.  Hellboy raised by kindly brilliant nerd scientist who grow up to become…

Dis guy!

No, wait.  Me sorry.  Not dat guy.  Hellboy raised by kindly brilliant nerd scientist who grow up to become…

Dis guy!

Hellboy grow up too and, years later, he and Professor working for Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense (BURPD) along wit other crazy charakters like Abe Sapien (psychik amphibian) and Liz Sherman (firestarter-but-not-stopper who Hellboy in love wit).

“Dere’s gonna be Hell to pay!” Dis line not in movie.

Young FBI agent, John Myers, assigned to BURPD, but not exacktly hit if off wit Hellboy.  But no time to wallow becuz pesky Nazis resurrect bald bathrobe guy and release rasta alien on Earth.  Rasta alien very creepy and cranky and look like…

Dis!

No, wait.  Very close but dat not him.  Creepy and cranky rasta alien look like…

Dis!  Iree, me am a gonna eat yer veins, mon.

Hellboy chase it down and kill it – but when it die, it lay eggs dat give birth to two more.

While Hellboy follow agent John Myers out on a date, trying to make de moves on Liz Sherman, bald guy in bathrobe sneak into Professor’s study and, wit help of henceman, Slashy McStabby, he kill him.

Look. Nothing up my sleeves. Except dese GIANT BLADES!

Hellboy and co. travel to Moscow, land of vodka, caviar, and interdimensional portals where bad guys planning to finish what dey started back in WWII.  Hellboy forced to help dem to save Liz, but agent Myers tell him to remember who he really be!

Me be Hellboy, bitches!

Hellboy remember who he be – den take on giant octo-monster before killing it by blowing it up from de inside wit hand grenade belt.

Liz dead but Hellboy bring her back to life by threatening to kick demon ass.  Dey kiss.  De End!

Love is Hell!  Dis line not in movie either.

Verdikt: Sure, movie plot be a little cliche and some tings don’t make sense (“Here.  I’ll just duck around dis corner while you engulf chamber in flames.  I should be okay.”), but Hellboy have a lot of heart, humor and, most important of all, charakters you care about.  Like Hellboy, Liz, agent Myers, and, monster’s favorite…

Dis guy!

Oops.  Me sorry again.  Not dat guy.  Monster’s favorite…

Dis guy!

Rating: 7.5 chocolate chippee cookies.

Tagged: Comic Books, Comics, Cookie Monster film reviews, Cookie Monster movie reviews, Cookie Monster reviews Hellboy, film reviews, Hellboy, movie reviews, superhero movie reviews, superhero movies, superheroes, SuperMovie of the Week Club

September 9, 2012: The sweet taste of donuts, cookies and Philly cheesesteaks! And the bitter taste of defeat! Days of Stargate Atlantis Past! Tabula Rasa!

Oh, noooo.

A disappointing start to the (fantasy) football season saw my Snow Monkeys upset today in unspectacular fashion.  Looks like it’s going to be a loooong season.

Well, at least I was able to drown my sorrows – in Philly cheesesteaks, donuts, and chocolate chip cookies:

Rob, aka The Donut Man.

It was a lower than expected turnout (four of us instead of the expected ten) so I had a bunch of leftovers.  As Tobias was leaving, I made sure he took home a bunch of donuts and cookies, a package of bread – and a second package of bread I tucked under his warm as he headed out the door.  After all, the last thing I need are distractions. I’ve got to get in shape for Tokyo where I expect I’ll be doing a lot of eating (or, in a worst case scenario, running from Mount Fuji lava).

It was a better day for my frenchie, Lulu, who got to see her favorite guy, Ivon.  Don’t know what it is about him (really, I don’t) but she absolutely adores him:

Ivon and his gal.

I got a call from writing partner, Paul, who suggested we get together this week to discuss some of the series ideas we’ve been pitching.  I think he’s feeling a little antsy after our extended time off and would like to start work on a new project – specifically, writing another pilot we can go out with.  For my part, I’ve been enjoying my time off but, admittedly, feel the need to get back at it as well.  At the beginning of this year, I figured I’d enjoy my leisurely 2012 and, while I certainly have, I’ve also been surprised by how busy my presumably less busy days have been.  It seems like there’s always something that needs to get done and ever enough time in the day to do it.  How the hell did I ever manage it when I was working on Stargate?

Anyway, getting together to spin ideas for some new scripts sounds like a great idea, especially since some recent developments on the Dark Matter front (Paul and my comic book series) seem to have fizzled. Things had looked very promising and I was hoping to make an exciting announcement next week but, alas, as is often the case in this business, what seems a sure thing on a Monday inevitably becomes a longshot on Friday.  And on we go…

Continuing our trip down SGA memory lane…

TABULA RASA (406)

I liked this episode a lot but, and how’s this for irony, don’t remember that much about the production given that I had my hands full with Reunion at the time.  This was, of course, our version of memento with an SF twist.  Writer-producer Alan McCullough did a terrific job on the script and the cast (David Hewlett in particular) did an equally terrific job with the material.

I do recall this episode shooting during an international press junket (as they called it) that saw a number of reporters from European magazines descend on the Bridge Studios for an official Q&A with the show’s creators and cast – after which they hung around to do some cameos (they all appear in the big in mess hall scene).  Among those who put in an appearance was G4′s Zach Selwyn (Attack of the Show) who got a slightly meatier role as a result of this video: