Alexandra Katehakis
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November 2011
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“Pretend that you are the soul inside everyone you meet.”
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“I once heard a sober alcoholic say that drinking never made him happy, but it made him feel like he was going to be happy in about fifteen minutes. That was exactly it, and I couldn’t understand why the happiness never came, couldn’t see the flaw in my thinking, couldn’t see that alcohol kept me trapped in a world of illusion, procrastination, paralysis. I lived always in the future, never in the present. Next time, next time! Next time I drank it would be different, next time it would make me feel good again. And all my efforts were doomed, because already drinking hadn’t made me feel good in years.”
Heather King |
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“Many partners of addicts have told me they feel bad about themselves for staying in the relationship because of the betrayal they’ve experienced. They imagine that the people who know their past judge them to be stupid for staying with the person who’s caused them so much pain. I often counter this thinking, explaining that leaving may seem quick and easy because they can pretend they’re okay and the problem has disappeared. However, if you leave your relationship, you’ll be stuck with your pain and sorrow without the person you loved to help you sort it out. Why is this true? Because even though it feels as if your pain comes from your partner, it’s actually coming from inside you.”
― Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction
― Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction
“The process of dissociation is an elegant mechanism built into the human psychological system as a form of escape from (sometimes literally) going crazy. The problem with checking out so thoroughly is that it can leave us feeling dead inside, with little or no ability to feel our feelings in our bodies. The process of repair demands a re-association with the body, a commitment to dive into the body and feel today what we couldn’t feel yesterday because it was too dangerous.”
― Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence
― Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence
“When you are secure in yourself, know what turns you on, and enjoy watching your partner watch you experience sexual pleasure, you have a highly novel relationship grounded in love. The experience of seeing and being seen fuels lust and desire. This is exactly the way you integrate healthy lust and love into your sex life. It’s relational sex, not the old pornographic sex of past addictions.”
― Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction
― Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction
“Once it arrives, erotic sex cannot be chased or grasped at, for it shows itself when you’re not looking.”
― Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction
― Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction
“Spiritualizing sex is actually a movement of energy—feeling and emotion—that rises within you and moves into your sexual physicality as an alive, tender, erotic, or passionate expression. Your bodies move without inhibition so all the energy can flow out of you and between the two of you. You allow spiritual energy to express its dance through you. Sexuality can be a profound demonstration of your love, and especially your freedom, to express and bond. Spiritual sex, then, combines how you express your love with the intentions or blessings you bring to your partnership.”
― Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction
― Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction
“When you are secure in yourself, know what turns you on, and enjoy watching your partner watch you experience sexual pleasure, you have a highly novel relationship grounded in love. The experience of seeing and being seen fuels lust and desire. This is exactly the way you integrate healthy lust and love into your sex life. It’s relational sex, not the old pornographic sex of past addictions.”
― Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction
― Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction
“Sexual energy between two people is a primal force comprised of power (energy that moves toward another) and virtue (knowing the energy between the two is right).”
― Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction
― Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction
“Many partners of addicts have told me they feel bad about themselves for staying in the relationship because of the betrayal they’ve experienced. They imagine that the people who know their past judge them to be stupid for staying with the person who’s caused them so much pain. I often counter this thinking, explaining that leaving may seem quick and easy because they can pretend they’re okay and the problem has disappeared. However, if you leave your relationship, you’ll be stuck with your pain and sorrow without the person you loved to help you sort it out. Why is this true? Because even though it feels as if your pain comes from your partner, it’s actually coming from inside you.”
― Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction
― Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction