Dawn Metcalf's Blog, page 28

First Shot

There are things I never thought I'd do. This is one of them:



On Friday, I held a gun for the first time in my life. It was part of advanced martial arts training, the next step after learning how disarm someone with a weapon is knowing what to do with it once you have it so you don't hurt someone or yourself accidentally. While an obvious next step, this *terrified* me. I don't like guns and while I respect and uphold that anyone has a right to own a gun, I was never interested in exercising that particular right myself. Still, I'm a big believer in facing your fears if you care to conquer them and here was an opportunity to learn from with instructors I knew and trusted in the crown jewel of the local NRA, Smith & Wesson.

Knowing I'd never held a gun before, I was told I'd start with a .22 but actually, the first thing placed in front of me was a .40 and I stared at it like it might come alive; a black semi-automatic viper with bullets the width of my little finger. When the first shots rang out further down the line, the sound wave punched my chest and, despite the safety glasses, I felt it flutter against my eyelids. Some Bambi-instinct made me flinch. Shells rained down on me from the next booth, popping off my baseball cap and the fluff of my hair. The room quickly filled with noise and smoke and the sharp smell of hot metal, paper and lead. It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced and I held my hands in front of me trying to be as small and polite as humanly possible as I was shown again how to load and sight my weapon and when I snapped it live, my limbs didn't work quite right. The weight of the thing was a live promise of something going *boom* and I respected that with equal amounts wariness and fear. I choked my hands as high as I could, lifted the gun, positioned my feet, and took a long, slow breath.



As you can see, my first shot was (pardon the pun) "dead center" & I don't know who was more surprised: me or my instructor. However, if you notice, a lot of the next attempts didn't come close; even if they were in the "kill zone" they weren't grouped anywhere near my first shot and, in fact, my aim got worse as the night wore on. The instructor had warned us of this happening, but it was frustrating to have it play out all the same. Strangely enough, it wasn't due to anything like nerves or fatigue, but something he described as "anticipating" the shot. When we first started, it was a surprise and we had better aim because we didn't know what to expect, but once we'd gotten a taste for what the gun could do, we started to try to out-guess ourselves, aiming for what we thought was the target instead of our first gut reaction of making our best guesses, which were usually more correct. We trusted ourselves more than the gun, which we held with a higher (and wary) respect. The more we thought we knew, the worse the result, the more frustrated we'd get and so on unless we "reset" and reached back for that original mindset.

And that reminded me of writing.

I once believed that when I got an agent or an editor, once I got a contract, once I got those first edits, once I got that first check, that first ARC, that first glimpse of my finished book on the shelves, it would all be easier. The journey was over, the race had been won. Repeat after me now: HAHAHAHA! Not so. I already had another book to shop so when it went out, I felt absurdly confident and then upset anew when that wasn't snapped up instantly. And when it sold, I had the daunting prospect of writing a sequel. But no problem, thought I, I've written books all my life. How hard could a sequel be? Repeat after me now: HAHAHAHA!

Writing a sequel has been the biggest challenge thus far and I'm no longer naive in thinking that this will even be the biggest challenge I have yet to face. In the wake of thinking I knew what to expect, having more trust in the system then myself, I began fighting it--stuck for months in a fledgling draft going nowhere and second-/third-/thirteenth-guessing myself as I wrote because now I had some inkling what the stakes were, what people might expect or want, how the system worked, why these dates were called "deadlines" and I panicked. My aim was off. I wasn't hitting the target. I was anticipating instead of writing.

So I had to get back to my original mindset: back to a time where I was wholly ignorant of the greater process and simply playing in the story, carefree and careless and typing away where all things were possible. I had to try hard to forget and that's tricky, but *so* worth it! I'm looking forward to reinventing this draft after its 4-6 week marinade and promised myself that my summer project will be one just for me, silly and playful and strange, to cleanse the palate and clear my mind. I want to be surprised again. Life (and writing) has a way of surprising you because life (and writing) is funny that way. I'm testing myself to see if I can make the target blurry, set my sights, and see what happens.

I'm going to write like it's my first shot all over again.

Here's wishing you fears and forgetfulness and a whole lot of fun at the keys this summer. And stay tuned! At the end of the week I'll be announcing my 1st anniversary LUMINOUS SUMMER GIVEAWAY CONTEST! Pretty and tasty prizes coming soon!

P.S. I moved from the .40 to the .45 and then the 9mm. Later, the .22 felt like Pop Rocks in my hand and the .357 Magnum kicked me in the bones--I felt the recoil in the cartilage of my elbows. I vastly preferred the .45.

Another Luminous Summer: Full of Pretty!

One week from today will be the 1st anniversary of LUMINOUS which is both hard to believe and incredibly exciting! This is also just about the exact time when I'll be launching my next book, INDELIBLE, in July, 2013. What better way to celebrate than having another LUMINOUS SUMMER GIVEAWAY CONTEST!

Stay tuned for details here on June 29th! I promise it'll be full of pretty.

TGIF & Go Write Now!

Endings Are Easy

It's the last day of school around here. I didn't have to drag the kids out of bed this morning, no crankiness or moodiness at the bathroom sink, they were singing and happy all through breakfast, practically bouncing through the chants of "Last Day of School! Last Day of School!" with mouths full of pancake syrup, gummi vitamins, and juice.

And since I'm in the mindset of writing the last two chapters of my WIP, swimming in the luxurious almost-doneness of it, knowing how it all works out, it hit me: endings are a lot easier than beginnings! And now I know why.

Like the past school year and other works-in-progress, we who have undergone the journey have endured the struggles, the hard work, the unknowns, and came out the other side, triumphant. Things we had to do weren't fair and they were hard and we had to change something inside ourselves to adjust and it wasn't always the way we wanted it to go, but that was in the past--in retrospect, we became better for having gone through it, found out more about our friends and ourselves and what we're capable of beyond what we thought we already knew. We learned. We grew. And now, looking back, we can see how we're better for having enjoyed a good story and a good year. We'll look back on this and remember the highlights, looking forward to the next step along the way. This last, little bit is just the icing on the cake.

Mmmm. Cake!

The First Day (like the First Page) is always exciting and new, but because we don't know what we're getting into, and we don't know exactly where we're going, there's a little bit of fear and anxiety, a little bit of "I Don't Know What the Heck I'm Doing!" that is fun in its stumbling recklessness, but far from our comfortable ordinary days. Surprises are adventurous, but also scary, and while we can try to anticipate the unexpected, we know that--by definition--we can't. Only when we've passed the test, done the deed, risen to the challenge and made it out again can we look back and see how far we've come, what we've accomplished, and how our story has shaped itself. As Alanis would say, the only way out is through.

My kids are living up their Last Day, beaming and smiling and laughing over boxes of teachers' gifts and worn, saggy backpacks filled with barely more than extra-special lunch treats. I get to enjoy it, too, without the strain of prodding kids awake or nagging about missing homework; we all know how this goes and we're enjoying the very end because it is the end. We're savoring the last dregs.

I'll feel the same when I sit down to the keyboard later to write. For me, endings are easy, it's beginnings that are hard. (But I'm still looking forward to the next project!)

So, at the end of the week, I'm asking: What's easier for you to write, beginnings or endings?

The Power of Words (and Music!)

I'm in the final stretches, lunges and hurdles of my beloved #WIP right now so am not online as oft as normal*, but since I always like to share the bits and bobs that excite and re-energize me with a smile of creative inspiration and silliness, I thought I'd pass along this little video tidbit I got from my Mom. As a HUGE fan of flash mobs and things like Improv Everywhere, (and Young Frankenstein happens to be a family favorite), I couldn't resist:



It's been over 80 years and this song still ROCKS! May our words stick around and inspire gleeful madness across the globe!

Enjoy!


* Or should I say "Abbe Normal"? ;-)

Divide & Conquer

One of the biggest things folks talk about in writing is cause & effect and the transition of the main character changing from Who They Were into Who They Are (at the end of the story). No good story is without change, conflict & tension rise like good dough from this battle between stasis and action, but it's the getting there that makes it happen. The story is in the journey.

So here's a neat little cheat-concept to help you out when you're writing something fresh (or something not-so-fresh? Sourdough perhaps? They're notoriously tough to start!) to make certain that there is progression based on those two lovely words: cause & effect:

Imagine a line. (You're going to have to imagine it because I'm dreadful with online graphics of any sort.) Okay: a line. It's the shortest distance between two ideas and these are the ones everyone dreams of as they begin with "The Beginning" and end at "The End." I presume that when you have an idea for a book, you as the author know when it begins (most often with your Main Character on the day that starts the ball rolling, although not always as J.K. Rowling proved, you can break any and all rules if you know a) what you're doing & 2) what the rules are). The ending is when everything's resolved, when the conflict is over and your MC has changed and the story is (at least for now) complete. You can see that, can't you? That's your proverbial "end of the line."

Great. Now you have a line with a Beginning and an End. See the rest of that line? It's the rest of your book, that Big Swampy Middle that Jim Butcher's always talking about, that dash on the headstone that encompasses an entire life between birth and death. (Sort of humbling when you put it that way, eh?) ANYway, mark a midpoint and think: what is the THING THAT HAPPENS that changed what happened that first day into what will happen at the end? i.e.: What is the cause set up in the beginning whose effect is felt at the end? Here is where we are tempted to write the entire omnibus and try to smush it into one line, this is also when someone asks the deadlie questionne: "What's your book about?" that we are tempted to blather on a rambling hour instead of having our handy-dandy 10-second elevator pitch. I'm asking for the elevator pitch, here: what is the one thing or instance that happens that makes The End possible. All tension and growth will lead up to this. This is your climax. (Technically, it won't happen midway through the book but more like 3/4th of the way through the book, but this is just a concept game. Bear with me.)

Got that? Now look at the space half-way between the climax and the beginning: What happened there to get your wide-eyed MC at the start of all this to the climax? What was the turning point that lead them to get into this awful jam, making the Big Decision or Taking the Big Leap? Plunk that cause that lead to the effect here. Now do the same half-way between the climax and the end: what happened after the dust settles and the MC blinks about to bring everything to its merry/tragic conclusion? (This latter half, by the way, ought to be a very short trip.)

You're getting the gist of this: for every line of Action to Action there is a midpoint of "What got us there?" Keep dividing the distance in half and you'll have an outline of scenes, decisions, and reactions to actions that carry both the reader and the MC forward from beginning to end. If you have a "straight line of thinking" that leads you from one point to the other along the journey of the book, you create the core of the story, the spine around which all the juicy bits can cling to creating foreshadowing, red herrings, subplots, mini-arcs and full-reversals; the basic line of your logic will hold things together and you can confidently write along the path of A to B because you know that whatever you've set up has a reason and a payoff that comes at the next juncture, placed along the path like regular breadcrumbs, pointing inexorably towards the climax as if your hero(ine)'s feet were always destined to go there, which, indeed, they were. By you.

Maybe this is a little trick that helps you think of your story in a whole new way. Maybe this is just a bunch of words to take up space on my blog. The end is the same: Go! Write! Now! ;-)

Follow Your Heart(s)

I'm not going to BEA this year and, yeah, it's a bummer. There's nothing quite like basking in the rock-n-roll glow of the Javitz Center's yearly celebration of All Things Books, checking out the covers of this year's brand new releases, grabbing the newest ARCs, hearing the latest Buzz Panel, checking out Teen Author Carnival, seeing fellow author pals getting their smiles on, waiting to get some fresh copies signed, and generally having a blast. But this writerly Dream-Come-True happens to be at the end of a busy school year and I will be taking the time to be there for my kids.

There is a lot of talk about balancing a writer's life and career, folks like Sara Zarr and Maggie Stiefvater have both posted about what it's like to discover that sweet spot on the teeter-totter between Real Life and Writing Life and let me tell you, it's hard! It's a very selfish thing to leave my family to spend time with (albeit imaginary) people who do everything I tell them to, however I want, whenever I want, who never talk back or leave their room messy unless I say it's okay, where the universe bends to my every whim and when I walk away, it all stops and waits for me. It's a heady sort of power that we must voluntarily set aside to deal with real people and real consequences, to give up control, to do the dishes and wipe up the spills and chase dust bunnies all over the house and do all those less-than-epic things that make up daily, mundane life.

And, really, that's okay.

Because I have to remember, this isn't just my life, but one I happily share with Better-Than-Boyfriend and the two small people who look vaguely like us and keep asking what's for dinner. (As if I know!) I try to keep my keyboard obsession to myself, quietly locked away in my office, sequestered in the wee hours when they are either at work, at school, or asleep, but it leaks out on the edges like the proverbial PB&J (verboten in school now due to severe peanut allergies) as I disappear into the office to draft a blog post or scribble down an idea that just came to me, attend a tweetchat or webinar, update my status, or scramble for a higher word count when the deadlines loom. It's tricky and I'm still trying my sea legs at this funky trapeze act called Being An Author while at the same time answering to the call of Being Everything Else.

Elizabeth Stone said, “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” Right now, I am choosing to ignore my more Kermit-With-Envy feelings and instead choose to follow my heart(s). And luckily, I don't have to miss much. (Click here for livestream!) And, now, neither do you!

Be sure to follow the action from generous authors, editors, book bloggers, and readers on Twitter at hashtag #BEA2012.

Lightbulb

Having just read SAVE THE CAT + having just read THE FAULT OF OUR STARS = bizarre revelation:

John Green actually wrote a character with an accent, a character with an eye patch, and a character with a wooden leg.

Coincidence? Hmm.

Jostling Structure

I've been reading a lot of good books lately. This is always a good thing, but one of the shared characteristics has been an interesting twist in the Space-Time Continuum, i.e. the structure of the novel. I find it interesting to read a book that could have started another way, gone in a linear fashion from start to finish, but instead chose somewhere pre-story or mid-story and bounced around from there. When you're reading and think, "Oh, now I get where this story started in order to bring us to Page One in order to bring us to this magic moment" is something that always makes me smile, feeling suddenly smart and knowledgeable and in on the author's plans all along. It's something I didn't know I liked until it struck me like a chord again and again.

When I was strategically withdrawing in Vermont, the great and awesome Alvina Ling spoke about structure, how an "ordinary story" can become extraordinary if you mix things up a bit, either with the timeline or POV, including a countdown to a crucial event or reflections being chronologically out-of-order. It keeps things interesting by keeping the reader on her/his toes, creating tension and surprise where ordinarily there was a steady build-up and reveal. These things came back to me while I was reading the latest in my (very long) TBR pile.



THE SPACE BETWEEN by Brenna Yovanoff features the luscious prose and gorgeous covers I've come to expect (and yearn for) but also had the sort of pre-story beginning that hit me as both artistically and cinematically brilliant. The tale could have started as many YAs do where the ordinary mortal is going about their everyday existence and *poof* the otherworldly hottie pops in and changes his/her life. In while that happened, Brenna took the less traveled path, as she did in her debut THE REPLACEMENT, by stealing in through the eyes of the Other and giving that story first as a prelude to What Happens After. Given the POV and tense switch, it was enough to keep me turning pages like gaining purchase on a ship bound for adventure. I couldn't put it down. It reminded me a lot of another book I raved about, DAUGHTER OF SMOKE AND BONE, whose mid-story saga revealed an entire book "pre-Chapter One" whose discovery completely changes the reading; from that point onward, it's a different book.



Yovanoff also used the "countdown" wherein chapters gave a ticking clock number to something that was going to happen if you just keep reading! I think the first to do this was John Green's LOOKING FOR ALASKA, but it's become a really effective way of hooking the reader and pulling them forward knowing that something's coming but we don't know what. It *feels* a lot like a movie where we know the title of the film and suspect every dark and shadowy corner will reveal it to us in a rush of color and noise. It sneaks up on us because we're all too aware of it. The anticipation does the work of tension for us and the payoff comes after the event has finally struck. We sigh and glance around: What Now? We are begging to be lead to the next step of the journey towards a satisfactory conclusion promised at the very first chapter heading.



John Green's latest novel, THE FAULT IN OUR STARS, begins as a reflection but moves chronologically forward although retains some of the "jumping" quality by changing settings dramatically and often. This montage effect works amazingly well when it messes with the timeline, something that works amazingly when done well like in THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE by Audrey Niffennegger, THE BOOK THIEF by Markus Zusak, CRACKED UP TO BE by Courtney Summers and 13 REASONS WHY by Jay Asher. Shaking up the past, present and future does a lot to hold our interest and make what might have been a linear story one with untold surprises and discordant revelations that keep me up til 4am.

None of these stories were "ordinary" from the start, already amazing ideas that were taking shape on the page, but the order in which they were revealed to us, the readership, raised the bar and the story to dizzying heights, begging questions and answers and just-one-more-page and really, who could ask for anything better than that?

If you have any other favorite books that jostled the timeline, thus changing the whole story, please plunk them in the comments--it's more fun to share!

Creative Refueling

This past long weekend allowed for some much-appreciated creative refueling and Paradise City Arts Festival is something I look forward to every year. There are those artists I love to see again and new ones to discover; it's like visiting a museum crossed with a Renaissance Faire with better food. I thought to pass along some of the things that inspired me and perhaps they'll inspire you as well (I take no responsibility whether you are inspired to write some more or pick up a credit card--don't say I didn't warn you).

We started off with the first booth in the barn being the one we stopped by three times later! Artist Christina Meyers creates gorgeous fabric collage landscapes, a sort of visual quilt of autumn leaves and birches and winter rivers trimmed in gold. It's a great balance of color and texture and nature. The more I looked, the more I discovered in each picture.


October River by Christina Meyers

Daniel J. Ricco's is someone whose booth I visit each year and come away with another purchase. His bronze and silver pieces capture everything I love about miniatures, fantasy themes, and attention to detail. Everything from teeny tiny figurines to fairy bells and thimbles makes me want to pick it up and marvel. The animals are the sizes of bugs and the bells barely bigger than thimbles. It's like all of it belongs in a fairy tale princess's dollhouse. (And the artist himself looks like he should be a steampunk-y mad scientist! Always a plus in my book.)


I cannot adequately express how cool and tiny these things are!

From itty bitty to giant pieces, Stephanie Young's carved-porcelain urns were something to gawk at: somehow capturing "nouveau" style with ancient-feeling themes, I was tempted to build a shelf just to display her work. Something like Greek or Atlantis plays in her watery patterns with butterflies, fish, shells, octopi and jellyfish (a huge theme this year throughout the festival), but her porcelain held something ancient in the pale blues and greens and chocolate browns...it's hard to describe, but worth more than one look! I could write entire books inspired by any one of her pieces.


It was hard to choose just one to show here. Go click the link!

Ever see something that reminds you of someone else? Well, Robert Alan Hyde's work reminded me of all things Stiefvater: from wolves playing to swirling waves of horses to satyrs and fairies peeking through entire forest landscapes made of thin lengths of wire littered in gold leaves, I was awestruck by the complex beauty of these metal sculptures. Unique and intricate, his style managed the feeling of motion, line by line. I was utterly blown away!


Unbelievable forest landscape, "At Forest Edge" by Robert Alan Hyde


This is a FULL SIZED wolf sculpture, each hair and nettle in place!

And, yes, there was one thing I got for myself, an unexpected treat from Sue Lances whose playful, colorful wearable art had long "leaf scarves" on display, adding a touch of color that felt like costuming, which is always a winning combination. (No pretty online pic, we'll just have to meet up in person one day!) I have a hard time buying things for myself as opposed to gifts for other people or something for the house, but thankfully, my husband knows me too well and bought one for me.

*GASP!* So many pictures! Methinks I hear Tumblr calling if I keep this up...

Hope you had a lovely long weekend & found something to inspire YOU!

Gay And

Last Wednesday's #yalitchat featured an interesting discussion about diversity and authenticity and it was no surprise that this included the call for more LGBTQ characters in YA books. This is not a new topic and we're all pretty much preaching to the choir. However, the most interesting part of the discussion (at least to me) was the fact that people didn't want "token" gay characters, we wanted meaningful characters who also happened to be gay.

Grok the difference? Let me 'splain:



What immediately popped to my mind was a graphic novel in the post-punk series HOPELESS SAVAGES, specifically Vol. 2: GROUND ZERO. (Haven't read them? Click the link!) In the introduction, Andrew Wheeler writes that, while talking with creator Jen Van Meter, said "what I really wanted to see was a gay character who was not only permitted a love life, but permitted a kiss, and not only permitted a kiss, but permitted a love story." And my thought upon reading that was, "Well, sure. Why not?" Maybe I'm naive, but the characters in this series are all so completely and wholly people in their own right, each with a solid back-story full of motivations, dark pasts, passions and dreams that it made total sense that each of them would have a love story. Why not Twitch? Because he was gay? That'd make no sense and I was happy to see it play out on the pages (even though the main love story was Zero's, we got to peek at Mom, Dad, Twitch, and Arsenal getting "pashed damp" over their honeys as well. Heck, it's a family show!) and Twitch indeed reflected on the incredibly touching story of the "one who got away" in a way that all of us who have ever loved and lost could completely understand. Twitch is an artist, a dreamer, a drug addict, a brother, a Mod, a classicist, and gay. Guess which aspects of his character I find the most interesting?

The bottom line is that I don't want to read about a character that's gay and, well, that's it, any more than I want to read a character that's described as any one word (heterosexual, red-headed, Jewish, handi-capable or ADHD) and then left to my own devices to guess what they're like otherwise. That's as sloppy as giving a physical description based on eye/hair color alone. No. Real people are multi-faceted folks and I like to read about the girl who colors in her own canvas shoes with Sharpie markers and dreams of being a concert pianist and the guy who is the sixth of ten children and whose most prized possession is a fossilized turtle skull. Their hair and eye color is possibly the least important part of their character makeup; their race, religion and sexuality is a much larger part of who they are, but it's not *only* who they are. To designate a character's defining quirk as their sexuality alone is ridiculous. Even in John Green's novel, WILL GRAYSON, WILL GRAYSON, which features a gay main character as well as G/Q secondary characters, it is Tiny who is the "biggest and gayest" of Will Grayson's friends--not just gay, because there may be gayer, and not just big, because there may be bigger--but to Will, there's no one "bigger AND gayer" than Tiny Cooper, and that defines the flamboyant football player/actor better than anything else could. We get Tiny from the start because while being a gay male is certainly part of his character, it isn't by far his ONLY defining characteristic. That's what makes him such a character!

What I'd like to see is a gay character who collects stuffed penguins or takes ping pong waaaaay too seriously, draws star charts, or practices yoga in the park as their defining quirk. Being gay is a big part of Who They Are but it's only "part" (as opposed to the "whole picture"). Not every gay character's story is a Coming Out story any more than every latina-American story is an immigration tale; there are a lot of great ones out there, to be sure, but diversity--true diversity--isn't defined by skin color or genital plumbing, but by what music we like, what causes we fight for, our choice of friends, our deepest beliefs. No two people are alike, no matter how much we like to stick them in the same box. The truth is, human beings will always surprise us because the labels we've stuck on them are OUR labels and it's a wake-up call to our central P.C.-processor when they are being true to themselves as opposed to who we thought they were/should be.

It's the exceptions that make us exceptional.

For full disclosure, I have gay characters in all of my published books. In the latest WIP, there is a "coming out" aspect to one person's story, but it's far more about secrets and family dynamics than it is about being gay. And for fully full-on disclosure, I am a rabidly passionate GLBTQ advocate who studied sex and sexuality as part of improving youth self-esteem and body-image. I was raised believing that everyone has the right to be whomever they want to be, have the freedom to believe what they want to believe, and certainly to love whomever they want to love. It flummoxes me that some people feel differently, but hey, that's diversity, too.

Those characters that move me, the ones that live closest to my heart, are the ones that I believed in, cried for, wanted to follow through hundreds of pages, the ones I most admired for their tough choices and stuck to their personal beliefs even in the face of overwhelming odds. Those were the characters (and authors) that most inspired me. Oh, yeah, and some of them are gay.