Kevin L. O'Brien's Blog: Songs of the Seanchaí, page 37

On Thud and Blunder

Poul Anderson's article on the inexcusable mistakes fantasy writers tend to make, even professionals:

1. Either they fail to create or abide by strict "rules" that govern how their world operates, or

2. They get important details wrong, or fudge them out of laziness, or treat them in an unrealistic or anachronistic fashion.

Both entertaining and educational. A "must read" for anyone interested in writing fantasy successfully.

"[E]very kind of writing is prone to special faults. [An example] is a frequent lack of elementary knowledge or plain common sense on the part of an author. A small minority of hf stories are set in real historical milieus, where the facts provide a degree of control — though howling errors remain all too easy to make. Most members of the genre, however, take place in an imaginary world. It may be a pre-glacial civilization like Howard’s, an altered time-line like Kurtz’s, another planet like Eddison’s, a remote future like Vance’s, a completely invented universe like Dunsany’s, or what have you; the point is, nobody pretends this is aught but a Never-Never Land, wherein the author is free to arrange geography, history, theology, and the laws of nature to suit himself. Given that freedom, far too many writers nowadays have supposed that anything whatsoever goes, that practical day-to-day details are of no importance and hence they, the writers, have no homework to do before they start spinning their yarns.

"Not so! The consequence of making that assumption is, inevitably, a sleazy product. It may be bought by an editor hard up for material, but it will carry none of the conviction, the illusion of reality, which helps make the work of the people mentioned above, and other good writers, memorable. At best, it will drop into oblivion; at worst, it will stand as an awful example. If our field becomes swamped with this kind of garbage, readers are going to go elsewhere for entertainment and there will be no more hf.

"Beneath the magic, derring-do, and other glamour, an imaginary world has to work right. In particular, a pre-industrial society, which is what virtually all hf uses for a setting, differs from ours today in countless ways. A writer need not be a walking encyclopedia to get most of these straight. A reasonable amount of research, or sometimes merely a reasonable amount of logical thinking, will do it for him. Let’s consider a few points."

Read the rest of the article.

The Rules of the Dreamlands

Taking "On Thud and Blunder" by Poul Anderson to heart, I have tried to give the Dreamlands as much verisimilitude as I can without destroying the dreamlike quality Lovecraft originally gave it. As such, I have developed specific rules that govern the Dream "verse", and I have extensively researched a number of social and technological aspects to get the details right.

The Rules

1. The Dreamworld operates by the same physiochemical laws that govern the Waking World;

EXCEPT

2. Strong-willed and disciplined Dreamers can alter portions of the Dreamlands' Schrodinger wave function to alter the features and characteristics of the Lands of the Dreams of Men (this also serves as the basis for Dream-magic);

3. Time operates in a different fashion, in that events cycle through day and night, the seasons of the year, and birth and growth and aging and death, but there is no discernible "arrow of time", and there are places where time itself does not seem to exist; and

4. Technology is limited to pre-sixteenth century devices; that is, nothing later than 1500 can exist.

[There are exceptions to Rule 4: ideas, such as interchangeable part; devices too simple in design to be restricted by era (they could have existed earlier than they were invented if someone had had the right inspiration), such as kerosine lamps; and devices that actually existed earlier than generally accepted, such as glasses. Nonetheless, some things just stubbornly refuse to exist, such as telescopes.]

However, the very nature of the Dreamworld, in which Dreamers from many eras, from the deep prehistoric past to the far future, mix together, encourages the existence of an Anachronistic Stew, Theme Park History, Politically Correct History, and Schizo Tech, though within the restrictions set by the Four Rules.

There are also a number of factors that are unique to the Dreamlands, which influence events. One is the fact that gold and silver are much rarer than in the Waking World, so coinage is limited to two types: silver tahlers roughly equivalent to dollars, and gold crowns worth 50 tahlers each. Platinum is the rarest of the rare; copper is plentiful, but is used for industrial purposes. By far the most common valuables are gems and precious stones.

Another factor is the existence of three rival Dreaming species -- cats, spiders, and cetaceans -- as well as several indigenous non-human cultures and many (literally) fabulous creatures. Not to mention the existence of the god-like Great Ones.

Gurney-Man

Giles Holt, RM
Master-at-Arms and Chief of Manor Security

Up until Aunt Mandy's attempted coup, the security force that guarded the manor and grounds was separate from the paramilitary troops that defended the estate. That grew out of the fact that it had been set up first, by Old Abraham after an incident in which a werewolf infiltrated the grounds, and only Dracula's presence prevented it from slaughtering the whole family. The troops were added during World War I after the raid by Sturmtruppen commandos to destroy Dracula.

The House Guard, as they came to be called, more closely resembled the American Secret Service, in that they wore civilian clothes, carried pistols and compact machine guns, and used personal communicators to coordinate their activities. They proved their loyalty and courage numerous times, especially during World War II, when they served as the last line of defense against an attack by the Brandenburg Battalion bent on exterminating the Van Helsing family. However, Sir Henry put Mandy in charge of the Guard, and she either seduced or replaced the members until she had secured their loyalty for herself.

However, it is possible that Sir Henry suspected something, because when Differel turned nine he reassigned a young Royal Marine, LCpl. Giles Holt, from the estate troops to the manor and stationed him outside the children's bedroom to guard Differel whenever he she was there. He kept Holt independent of the House Guard by making him answerable only to himself, and despite Mandy's attempts to gain some sort of hold over him, he remained steadfastly loyal to Sir Henry.

Whether purposeful or not, Sir Henry's choice proved fortuitous. His constant presence forced Mandy to create the ruse of an incursion to separate him from Differel, and later he reentered the state with Aelfraed and Mrs. Widget to rescue her. Afterwards, he saved her from a Fomorian through clear analysis and decisive action despite his own misgivings of his ability. As a reward, Differel promoted him to corporal and made him her Master-at-Arms, which placed him in charge of her personal security and training, and discipline. It also placed in charge of manor security, and he replaced the old House Guard (who had been slaughtered by Dracula) with estate troops. Over the years she has advanced him in rank to Warrant Officer Class One and appointed him House Sergeant Major. She hopes to eventually recommend him for the Victoria Cross.

Giles Holt was born into a military family. His father and grandfather had been Royal Marines and obtained the rank of warrant officer, and his great-grandfather, Montgomery Abernathy Holt, had been the most feared Regimental Sergeant Major in the whole of the British Army. He applied to join the Marines at 16, with his parents' permission, and handedly passed the entrance tests and interviews, and the Potential Royal Marine Course, then completed Basic and Commando Training before being assigned to a rifle company. When he turned 18, his squad was transferred to Caerleon Hall to become part of the estate troop, and at 19 Sir Henry had him reassigned to the house.

Compared to the duties of a riflemen, he found guard duty tedious, but Sir Henry had impressed upon him that his sole responsibility was the safety and welfare of his daughter, and he took it seriously. However, he found it disconcerting that she treated him more like a companion than a bodyguard. She had been so intrigued by his stern insistence at not being distracted that she tried to break his concentration, first by performing impromptu dance routines and quoting Shakespeare, and then later by telling him all about her day at school. She even gave him a standing invitation to have tea in her room whenever he wanted. When Sir Henry talked with him about it, he felt certain he would be disciplined, but instead he surprised him by encouraging him to spend time with his daughter, if he so chose. As such, the next time she invited him to tea, he accepted, and found himself sitting with her at her play table, with Winnie the Poo, Mrs. Snugglebunny, and Sooty the Bear drinking pretend tea and eating pretend biscuits.

Over the next year he played games with her, taught her chess and cricket, and acted as her audience when she practiced her Shakespearean recitations and later the cello. He recognized that she was developing a crush on him, but Sir Henry seemed unconcerned. It came to a head one day when she invited him to have real tea. He felt certain she would try to do something to win his affection, but as he waited for to finish a bath and dress, he heard what sounded like muffled cries for help. Breaking into the bathroom he discovered that some kind of creature had emerged from the tub drain and was trying to drown her. He managed to keep her head above water until help arrived, and then helped to kill the creature. Sir Henry rewarded him by promoting him to lance corporal, but Differel was so mortified that he had seen her naked that she stopped associating with him for a week. By the time she indicated she was ready to resume their previous relationship, she had gotten over her crush. They remained companions until Sir Henry's death, whyen he became more of a mentor.

Giles Holt is to Differel what Gurney Halleck was to Paul Muad'Dib Atreides. He was one of her teachers and trainers after he father died, the others being Aelfraed, Dracula, and Mrs. Widget, the housekeeper. Though their duties all overlapped to some extent, he was her primary teacher in weapons, armed, and unarmed combat. He also taught her chess, and handled discipline when she got out of line. He remains one her most trusted advisers.

He thinks of her as a kid sister. She treats him like an older brother, but aside from her childish crush, she made a pass at him when she turned 18 (all in the line of duty). She had nearly been killed by a baobhan sith that had infiltrated the manor and tried to rape her and suck out her life energy in the process. Dracula had destroyed it before it could, but only because Holt had returned from leave and, not being under its influence, could recognize the danger and take appropriate action. Afterwards, Differel considered that being a virgin made her vulnerable to similar attacks, and she asked him to deflower her. They were both very uncomfortable about discussing it, but he managed to dissuade her in a tactful manner that left her relieved rather than insulted. They agreed never to mention it again, but there are times when both have wondered what sleeping together would have been like.

Though professional, their relationship is fairly close; he calls her "Mum", even when on duty, and she occasionally calls him "Old Man". He also calls her "Little Wildcat", after a time when she was 16 she sassed back at him and threw a punch. He and Victor became close friends and often sat around after hours smoking, drinking, and bullshitting when Differel worked late. He now trains Henry and is his godfather.

In his leisure time, when not training, Holt plays chess and miniature wargames with Dracula, is captain of the guard cricket and rugby teams, plays the bassoon, and paints. He is also an avid reader of adventure novels and collects pulp magazine art.

The Bio of Giovanna Mencia Borgia

Giovanna Mencia Borgia is one of Eile and Sunny's BFF's. She is also a 500 year-old Vampire, and a Draculina.

Giovanna Mencia Borgia was born in 1504 to Gioffre de Candia Borgia, Prince of Squillace, and Sancia of Aragon. Her mother was the daughter of Alfonso II, King of Naples, and her father the youngest son of Pope Alexander VI, and sibling to Lucrezia Borgia, Cesare Borgia, and Giovanni Borgia. Though even then there was some question as to her paternity, since Sancia was known to have slept with both Cesare and Giovanni. That she was named after Giovanni fueled rumors that he was the father, but in fact he had died in 1497, some seven years too early. She is justly proud of her parentage and heritage, but has come to accept that these mean little in the modern age.

Her mother died in 1506 and she grew up in the comune of Squillace on her father’s estates. She was a privileged child of the House of Borgia, well educated in all the womanly professions at the time, and taught to be meek and subservient. She was a dutiful and honorable daughter, but she had a strong, rebellious will and a keen, intelligent mind. She chaffed under the restrictions imposed upon her by her family and culture, but she was intelligent enough to realize that only through marriage could she achieve some small measure of power and influence. Before a suitable match could be arranged, however, her father died in 1522 and she went to live with the family of Alfonso d’Este, the husband of her aunt Lucrezia.

Then, in 1527, when she was 23, she attended a party at her uncle’s palace in the city of Ferrara. There she met a visitor, one Vlad the Third, Tepes Drakulya, a voivode from the land of Wallachia, who was called The Impaler. He monopolized her time at the party, and she continued to see him for weeks thereafter. Eventually, he revealed that he was a Vampire, and when she scoffed he demonstrated his power. At first repelled, she became intrigued by the power Vampires wielded, and the fact that within Vampire society, females are equal to males. A Vampire’s status was determined by its strength, which grew with age, not gender.

Finally, she accepted his invitation to become a Vampire. He took her blood, then offered her his own. After the first feeding, however, another, older Vampire, Lucius Cornelius, drove him away and claimed her for himself. Because of the amnesic property of the parasite, she forgot all about Vlad and became enamored of Lucius. After her transformation was complete and she had proved herself, she and Lucius toured Europe and the Middle East as lovers. However, when after a few decades her memory of her Human life returned, she became enraged that Lucius had usurped Vlad and she left him, beginning a search for the Voivode Vampire that would last for two centuries. Unfortunately, she never found him and finally gave up.

While she traveled with Lucius, he had treated her much like a married woman of her time would be treated, as a show- and conversation piece, a servant to take care of his needs, and a concubine to satisfy his carnal lust. When her memories returned, she left him as much because she didn’t want to become some man’s chattel. She had become a Vampire to avoid that fate, not embrace it. Even so, the realities of Vampiric life caught her by surprise. They lived solitary lives, even from each other, holding hunting territories they defended against rivals and poachers. By tradition and law, they also avoided all contact with Humans, except when feeding. For the first few decades after her independence, she wondered as she wandered if she had made a mistake, both in becoming a Vampire and in leaving Lucius.

Then in 1571, while traveling in Greece, she learned that the Ottoman Empire was planning an invasion of Venice. Though the affairs of Humans had become of lesser importance to her, she still considered herself a Christian and had no desire to see the Muslims conquer Europe. She made her way to Venice and warned the Doge, who began to assemble a fleet and make negotiations with Spain, the Papacy, and others to form a league that could challenge the Muslims at sea. Giovanna discovered that her intelligence coupled with her Vampiric strength, dexterity, and endurance made her a natural spy, and she kept the Venetians supplied with intelligence. Though she tried to keep her nature a secret, the Doge discovered what she was, but she was surprised when he kept her secret. She realized then that there were Humans who would be willing to tolerate her despite being a Vampire, as long as she was of use to them. After the Battle of Lepanto, the Doge rewarded her with gold, and she understood that she could sell her services to the highest bidder. Nor was it lost on her that money also made it easier for her to live in the Human world, and she resolved to make herself wealthy enough to go where she desired and do as she willed. Her next coup came in 1588, when she learned of the launch of the Spanish Armada and got word to England. After the Battle of Gravelines, Queen Elizabeth not only awarded her with gold, but also made her a lady-in-waiting, to guard her person while she slept. While that did not last long, Elizabeth taught her that a woman could be well educated and powerful in a man’s world, provided she had the will and drive to go after it.

Her involvement with Human affairs put her at odds with the Conclave, but two things prevented them from punishing her. The first was that they were less concerned with individuals discovering that she was a Vampire than they were with the whole Human world learning they existed. As such, as long as she and her confidants were discrete, they were willing to ignore her activities. Nonetheless, they would have preferred she avoided Human contact altogether, but Uallach Ruadhríon convinced them that, with the Humans progressing, and developing more sophisticated technologies and increasing their knowledge, it was vital that they had members of their own kind living as part of Human society to advise them on possible advantages and threats. The Conclave was split over a decision and as a compromise, they adopted a wait and see attitude.

For her part, Giovanna decided that the best way for her to live was to participate in the Human world but not be an actual part of it. That required three things: money, a profession to obtain it, and an education to achieve it. The second she had already stumbled upon, and as she traveled she collected and sold information for profit, thereby acquiring the first. The last, however, was more elusive. Being a night creature, she found few universities offering classes she could attend; however, she did discover that many scholars were willing to trade teaching what they knew for information they did not know. In her travels, Giovanna had amassed an encyclopedia of knowledge about the peoples and places she had visited, but as a last resort she also told them about Vampires. She carefully mixed fact with legend and more than a few fabrications, so as to prevent any one person from obtaining a clear picture of the Vampiric nature, but still she knew she was walking the fine edge of a knife blade. Nonetheless, wherever she went, she took whatever opportunity was available to learn anything she could.

And as her knowledge grew, she put it to good use. In the seventeenth century she studied alchemy, even entering the service of the Elector of Bavaria. In the eighteenth century, she made a name for herself as a mathematician, philosopher, linguist, poet, theologian, and natural philosopher, and wrote a nine-volume compendium of all that was known about mathematics. In the nineteenth century, she did medical research into parasitology, writing a reference book on the subject, and discovering the existence of the Vampiric parasite. And in the twentieth century she did pioneering research into nuclear physics, including helping Enrico Fermi to create the first working nuclear reactor. She also performed research on biochemistry and molecular biology, developing a number of breakthroughs that would help create the biotechnology revolution and industry. All the while she continued her academic studies. She now has the knowledge equivalent of a dozen doctorate degrees in a wide variety of fields, though for obvious reasons she was never formally awarded with any of them.

But it was at being a spy that she excelled, and which provided the funds she needed to live on. She served whichever side paid her the most, and she had no qualms about switching sides. Her connection to Humanity had grown tenuous at best, and so she had no interest in Human politics or objectives. It made no difference to her why anyone would hire her services, just as long as she got paid. Though she has engaged in many espionage episodes in the years following being turned, her first really big involvement occurred during the Napoleonic Wars. She spied for France, the various Coalition forces, and even neutral countries. She helped Napoleon escape from Elba, but provided information to Wellington that helped him win the Battle of Waterloo. Ultimately, she didn’t care who won, and the pay she received was large enough for her to make her first large-scale investments that would set her up for life. She acted much the same during World War I, spying for both sides, sometimes acting as a double or even a triple agent. That ended when she was caught by a British captain who knew what she was without even having met her. In exchange for her life, she agreed to spy for Britain the remainder of the war, and they faked her death by firing squad to convince everyone else, including their own allies, that she was dead.

However, during World War II she broke with her usual method of operation. As a loyal daughter of Italy, she served Benito Mussolini’s regime out of patriotism. She aided the Italian campaigns in Ethiopia, Spain, France, and Africa before and during the early years of the war, but a chance meeting with Medb hErenn in 1941 convinced her that Fascism was a threat to Vampirekind, and she switched sides to the Italian partisans. Even so, she came to admire Mussolini’s attempts to protect Italy from Nazi repressions, and she pitied him as a lion enslaved to jackals. Eventually, she became disillusioned with the partisans, particularly the Communists, who saw her Vampirism as the ultimate in aristocratic exploitation of the masses, and in 1942 Medb took her through the lines to Allied Forces Headquarters in Algiers and introduced her to Gen. Eisenhower, who appreciated and made good use of her talents.

She helped with the invasion of Sicily and Italy, then accompanied Eisenhower to Britain in 1943, where she helped prepare for Operation Overlord. After D-Day, she scouted for Omar Bradley in Europe in 1944. She made a failed attempt to capture or kill Hitler, provided the Allies with evidence of the death camps and the Holocaust, and tried to rescue Mussolini from her former partisan comrades. She offered to make him a vampire so that he could escape and be free; his dignified refusal to avoid his fate impressed her and filled her with pride, and the partisans’ refusal to show him mercy turned her against the Allied cause. Nonetheless, she continued to work for them until an opportunity arose for her to cut her ties. She had been assigned to contact Werner von Braun and his staff and guide them to the Western lines. She in turn stayed with them as their Army escort took them to Allied headquarters, but along the way they were ambushed by an SS Werewolf division sent to assassinate them to keep them and their expertise out of Allied hands. She took them on singlehanded to allow the convoy to make its escape, and was reported killed, but she in fact survived and went underground. Eisenhower and Bradley knew the truth, but Medb convinced them to let her go. Nonetheless, Giovanna is rather amused that after the war she was declared a hero and “posthumously” awarded the British George Cross, the French Croix de Guerre, the American Congressional Gold Medal, the Soviet Golden Star, and the Italian Croce di Guerra.

Though she was often generously paid for her espionage services, and while as a Vampire many of her needs were simple, she liked living the good life, including using houses for sanctuaries and dressing in the latest and best styles. To provide her with a steady source of income, she invested as much as she could. Her choice of investments has changed over the centuries, from privateering, the fur and slave trades, overseas commodities trading such as tea, coffee, and sugar, and insurance underwriting, to technology, energy, and marketing, but two constants remain: banking and real estate. Her wealth has accumulated to the point where she can support her lavish lifestyle and still reinvest dividends to perpetuate her wealth without actually having to produce anything, but she enjoys engaging in business and keeping up with the latest research, and despite the way she dresses, she actually lives rather simply.

She retired to America in the 1950’s. Despite numerous requests, even from Eisenhower, she declined to spy for America against the Communists, believing it to be a largely futile effort in the Atomic Age. She gradually moved west, settling in Denver by the 1980’s. With the changes that have occurred in the Human World, especially the telecommunications and information revolutions, she has come to realize that she can no longer interact with Humans as she once did. She therefore has decided to live a quiet, and to Humans a reclusive, life. Yet she continues to involve herself with the world at large, behind the scenes. The investments she has made over the centuries have made her independently wealthy, and she continues to invest quite heavily, as well as manage a number of lucrative parcels of land. She also owns several banking and marketing firms, and runs a major biotechnology corporation and a few alternative energy companies. Nonetheless, she manages her businesses through proxies, who have no clue as to her true nature, she rarely makes public appearances and then only at night, and she never grants interviews. This public behavior, along with her lack of ostentation and people’s ignorance of her whereabouts, has fueled much wild speculation. She is especially amused by comparisons to Howard Hughes, though she would be the first to admit to a passing resemblance in that she often visits her companies late at night when no one is around to examine the records, make transactions, and do private research.

Oddly enough, even as she now shuns the Human World, her age and knowledge draws other Vampires to her. At nearly 500, she is one of the most powerful Vampires extant. Fully ninety percent of all Vampires are younger than her, with seventy-five percent less than a half-century old. Of the rest, five percent are within a hundred years of her age, while four and a half percent are a thousand years or younger. Only a half percent are older than a thousand, including the truly ancient ones like Uallach and the other members of the Conclave. As such, she is viewed with some awe and fear by the rank-and-file, and being as older Vampires tend to keep to themselves, the fact that she interacts with them has made her something of a leader among the younger Vampires. She has been instrumental in the creation of Vampire blood banks that make it possible for established Vampires to get blood without hunting. One of her major biotechnology projects has the goal of creating an artificial blood that can sustain Vampires as well as real blood. Even so, she is still something of an iconoclast among her own kind; for example, she is one of the few vampires who keeps an actual home for a sanctuary.

She has recently taken over the hunting territory of her former lover Lucius, now Lucas Cornelia, after he was killed over the turning of Eile, though she rarely hunts anymore. As this makes her the Vampire living the closest to Eile and Sunny, she has been assigned by the Conclave to keep an eye on them, both to see if they will keep their word and to protect them from rogues and newly turned Vampires. Though at first contemptuous of them as food animals and common sluts (she was particularly appalled to learn they were lovers), she nonetheless has become intrigued by them. They are the epitome of the kind of woman she wanted to be: independent, educated, and free-spirited. She feels drawn to them in a way she has never felt with anyone since meeting Vlad, and the fact that they seem unafraid of her and want to be friends (at least Sunny does) both excites and disturbs her. She would prefer to ignore them, but Sunny’s persistence is beginning to wear away her resolve.

Medb as Queen of Ireland

This is a summary of the information found in Book C of Volume I of the Leabhar Mhéibhe. It describes the life of Medb hErenn from her return to ancient Ireland until her "death" at the hands of Furbaidhe Ferbend. It takes place during the Irish Iron Age, when the Sons of Mileadh have become known as the Gaels. It is often called Ireland's Heroic Age.

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Medb traveled the globe for nearly 1200 years, but in 93 B.C.E. a chance encounter with Sulla convinced her that the Romans posed a sufficient threat of invasion to satisfy the conditions of her geis. She returned to Ireland with the intent of uniting the island under her rule to prepare for the day when the Romans would come.

Upon her return to Erin, Medb discovered that Eochaidh Feidlech, a descendent of hers through Amhairghin, ruled as High King in Tara. She made herself known to him and revealed his lineage as well as her own. Since he looked older than she did (she still appeared to be in her mid-twenties), he decided to adopt her as a daughter, in place of one that died when very young, but to her he granted the rule of Tara. From then on, no man who had not first mated with her could claim the rule of Tara and thus become High King. She then took Conchobar Mac Nessa, the king of Ulaidh, as her consort and she bore him a son, but he refused to acknowledge her suzerainty over him and so she returned to Tara.

At that time the coiced of Connacht, the former kingdom of the Fir Bholg, was ruled by Tinne Mac Conrach, a descendent of the Fir Bholg, and he too refused to acknowledge her rule over him. So she encouraged a minor chieftain, Fidig Mac Feicc, who was a close friend of Feidlech, to challenge Tinne's claim to Connacht. She then arranged for Tinne to hear about it. Tinne ambushed Fidig by the river Seanon and defeated him. Afterwards she encouraged Feidlech to invade Connacht, at which time he drove Tinne into the wilderness. She then demanded the kingship of Connacht, which Feidlech granted. But she took Tinne as her first consort.

Read the rest of the article.

Next eBook: Adventurer's Honeymoon

To my chagrin, I've discovered that when I created my publishing schedule, I accidentally skipped a week. My publishing schedule is closely tied to my schedule for having cover artwork created; so close, in fact, that if I advance my publishing schedule I will most likely not have artwork ready for some of my ebooks. However, I don't want to have a week go by without publishing an ebook if I can help it.

So I have decided to publish an ebook out of schedule to fill the gap, and I have selected a story that wasn't scheduled until near the very end. Even better, I had already created a cover, so I don't have to have one made.

Therefore, the next story to be published through Smashwords will be:

Adventurer's Honeymoon

When Differel married Victor in the Dreamlands, they never had a proper honeymoon. So when the opportunity arose for them to spend a week all alone on a deserted island, they jumped at it. Unfortunately, an old enemy has decided to crash the party.

This will be another free ebook.

New eBook: Gruff Tolls

I have just published my latest ebook:

Gruff Tolls

The Plateau of Leng in the Northern Lands of the Dreamworld is a most dangerous place. Few people dare to travel its interior except as part of large, well-armed caravans, but one exception is Medb hErenn. As such, people will hire her to escort them across the Plateau, or to act in their stead on some mission of personal importance.

Mephitis the Apothecary of Ulthar needs ingredients for her concoctions that can only be obtained from the Plateau and the surrounding mountains. She hired Medb to act as bodyguard and guide, and their mutual friend, Morgiana the Master Thief, to help her gather what she needs. In return, she will pay them a large remuneration, and they can raid the abandoned tombs and forgotten ruins to their hearts' content.

Their expedition has been successful, but a migration of the gargantuan Leng Spiders has cut off the usual routes out of the Plateau. In desperation, they make for a rumored pass bisected by a deep chasm, over which a Spider has spun a bridge. Supposedly, it allows travelers to use it, but they must pay a toll, and the gossip claims that it will eat whoever cannot.

They have no other choice, but the question is, can they pay its price? And if not, can they avoid the rumored fate?

This ebook is free and can be downloaded from Smashwords.

Sword & Sorcery Hero: The Coureur des Bois

I am not as well read in sword & sorcery (S&S) as I should be. (I know, I know; may Robert Howard have mercy on my soul.) Based on what I have, however, it strikes me that most S&S heroes or heroines are warriors armed with swords, whether they be barbarians, knights, or swashbucklers. Some are rogues, others are thieves, but nearly all I'm acquainted with are fighters of some kind.

However, it seems to me that, being as S&S stories deal with less mythic, more mundane, more personal story lines, that it should allow for a much wider variety of hero types. This is the first of what I plan to be a series of posts in which I describe some of these possible types. Maybe someone will be inspired to create a new character who becomes as famous as Conan.

One possible source for S&S heroes would be traders and merchants. I realize that doesn't sound very exciting, but science fiction has made use of such heroes for some time. The characters Nicholas van Rijn and David Falkayn, both created by Poul Anderson, are excellent examples. You could argue that space is vast enough and strange enough to allow traders and merchants to have adventures as they seek profits through commerce, but what needs to be kept in mind is that while fighters may be naturals for plot conflicts, it doesn't take much imagination to create conflict scenarios for a trader. Once you decide what kind of trader you'll create, opportunities should present themselves fairly readily.

A possible transition between a fighter and a trader could be the Coureur des Bois (coo-were deh bwa), since he would have the characteristics of both. "Coureur des bois" is French for "he who runs in the woods", and if that sounds vaguely familiar, the French trader and trapper Pasquinel from the novel Centennial by James A. Michener was described as a "coureur des bois". Essentially, a coureur des bois was a prototype mountain man, except he explored the woodlands of French Canada. More importantly for our purposes, he supported himself as an independent entrepreneur trading European goods for furs, and in so doing learned the customs and practices of the Native peoples he traded with.

Though there is no reason why a S&S story could not be set in French Canada between 1600 and 1750, I am using the title more broadly, to indicate anyone who spends his life exploring a wilderness region, and living and trading with the native indigenous peoples. A typical coureur des bois would be enticed by both the promises of adventure and freedom, and the profits to be earned from furs. He would combine the skills of an explorer and an outdoorsman, learned from the natives, and those of a businessman. His knowledge of the natives' customs and languages would allow him to travel among them and trade freely. As an explorer, he could travel to areas not controlled by fur companies or local rulers. If he worked with them, he could act as a scout, finding new people to trade with, but if he didn't, he could be declared an outlaw.

He would need to be tough and strong, because trading journeys could last for months and cover thousands of miles, he might have to walk or paddle twelve hours a day, and if he traveled by water he might have to make frequent overland portages. If he traveled by land but didn't bring any pack animals, he would have to carry his packs, but even with beasts of burden or canoes, packing his equipment and goods, or his furs for the return journey, could be arduous. Trade goods would have to take up the bulk of his pack space, so food would have to be compact and lightweight, and most likely he would have to hunt and fish or trade for food. The journey would also likely be dangerous, due to predatory animals, hostile tribes, and bandits, not to mention the weather, accidents, and sickness. Therefore, he would need to know how to take care of himself and defend himself, and he would have to travel armed.

Possible story scenarios for a coureur des bois character night include:

* journeying to a new unexplored territory when a current territory becomes depleted
* scouting or exploring for a fur company
* negotiating a peace treaty with an indigenous tribal nation
* trading illegally on the frontier of a kingdom
* helping a tribe overthrow and drive out unscrupulous traders
* or competing with a former partner-now rival for a unique fur only they can acquire

Entering the Dreamlands

There are two ways to enter the Dreamlands: bodily, through a permanent or transient gate, or through one's Dreams; such people are called Dreamers.

No one knows why some people are capable of Dreaming while others are not. It's generally assumed to be genetic, but it could be a mental or metaphysical predisposition. There are, however, certain talismans (devices) and potions (drugs) that can stimulate an ability to Dream in people who demonstrate no natural ability.

To enter the Dreamlands, however, one must first find them. This generally occurs by accident, while the Dreamer is having an otherwise pleasant dream of peace and rest. At some point, and in some fashion, he finds a stone stairway descending into the earth. Once he has found it, he can find it again whenever he wishes.

This is known as The Seventy Steps of Lighter Slumber, and if he descends it, he soon finds himself emerging into a cavern. At one time a natural formation, it has since been worked and smoothed, with painted bas-relief sculptures carved into the walls. These are depictions of the Great Ones, the Little Gods of Earth. The Dreamer arrives naked, even if he had been clothed, but it is a nudity of the soul. He also arrives alone, even if he descended with others. This last has been violated only once in the entire history of the Dreamlands.

This is known as the Cavern of Flame. There dwell the two priests, Nasht and Kaman-Thah. They look young, strong, and handsome, yet they are incredibly old, possibly older than the universe itself. They are omniscient and omnipotent; they could look upon the "face" of Azathoth itself without harm. Within the Cavern their word is law; not even Nyarlathotep can contest them there. However, they are gentle and peaceful. Their purpose is to guard the Dreamlands from evil and corrupt Dreamers, and to guard the dreams of men from the horrors of the Dreamlands. Whenever a new Dreamer appears, they examine his soul to determine if he is worthy. If he isn't, or if he is so foolish as to attack them, he wakes up in his own bed, and is never able to find the Seventy Steps again.

If, however, he is worthy, they welcome him. They can then answer any question on the Dreamlands he asks, though their answers may seem evasive or couched in riddles. If he decides to leave the Cavern, he can find it again whenever he wishes, but if he decides to enter the Dreamlands, the priests direct him towards the back. There the Sacred Pillar of Fire stands in the middle of an opening into a back chamber. The Dreamer can pass the pillar unscathed, and will find a small vestibule with two tables of green malachite. On one lies clothing and weapons; on the other food and supplies. Anything the Dreamer might desire, within reason, is available, and he is free to choose whatever he would like to take with him.

At the back of the vestibule is the Seven Hundred Steps of Deeper Slumber, and once he has dressed and equipped himself, the Dreamer can descend them. He soon emerges into the Enchanted Woods through one of the trees. The trees are cyclopean oaks, taller than redwoods, more massive than sequoias, and older than the world. Their crowns combine to form an unbroken canopy that closes off the sky. Their deeply gnarled bark, thick and strong as steel plate armor, is covered with bracket fungi that glow a weird, eldritch green, creating an environment as dim as twilight. A gravel path made from crushed pearly-white stones that shine with a black light fluorescence leads to the edge of the Woods. Despite its name, the Woods is a dangerous place, with Zoogs, and worse, ready to snatch the unwary, but if a Dreamer stays on the path and does not listen to the noises and voices around him, he can traverse the Woods unharmed.

Once he leaves the Woods, he finds himself on a gentle grassy slope leading down to a river in the distance; this is the Skai. At that point he may go where he wills, and he can stay as long as his body remains asleep. However, most Dreamers, at least at first, follow the Skai west to the village of Nir. There the inhabitants can feed him and direct him to Ulthar, the City of Dreamers, where no man may kill a Cat.

Eat Your Heart Out, Hawkeye Pierce

Maj. Thaddeus Carmichael, MD
Chief Medical Officer and Surgeon General of the Caerleon Order

For as long as she could remember, the only doctor Differel knew was Jean-Francois "Doc" LeClerc, then Chief Medical Officer for the Caerleon Order. Having grown up as his patient, she felt no modesty when he examined her, and he served as a surrogate grandfather. As such, it was with some surprise and private consternation that he announced his intention to retire in 2000. Putting a brave face on the matter, she asked him to name his replacement. Without hesitation he suggested Thaddeus Carmichael, a young but brilliant surgeon in the Royal Army Medical Corps.

Differel checked him out and according to his record he was everything Old Doc LeClerc said he was. The only thing that bothered her was that he was only a couple of years older than she was, but she finally requested his transfer. It was quickly granted and by mid-summer he was transferred to Caerleon Hall as LeClerc's assistant. By Hallowe'en LeClerc felt he was ready to take over. Differel then promoted him to Chief Medical Officer and named him Surgeon General, the first time the same doctor held both titles.

From the start it was not a match made in heaven. Part of the problem was certainly Differel's unconscious resentment that he had replaced her "family" doctor and her discomfort with him being so close to her own age, but a large part of the blame rested on the fact that, while dedicated and skillfully brilliant, Carmichael had a rather abrupt and unsympathetic bedside manner. Differel resented the often cold, staunchly professional manner in which he treated her and his oft-spoken contempt for prosaic family doctoring and "female complaints". It came to a head after she became pregnant, when he showed no sympathy for and some annoyance with her first bout of morning sickness. She essentially ordered him to shape up or ship out.

Fortunately her obstetrician/gynecologist was able to mediate a settlement between them. But Differel did not fully trust him until Giles Holt was critically injured during an incursion at the manor and Carmichael saved his life by performing emergency field surgery on him. After that they both relaxed somewhat and came to an understanding. Since then their working relationship has been cordial, even friendly, but it's Henry, and later Henry' children, who come to see him as Old Doc Carmichael.

Medicine runs in Carmichael's blood. His family has had army surgeons in every British campaign beginning with the Napoleonic Wars and nurses in most; they even provided one of the very first female army surgeons. All he ever wanted to be from the time he could first express himself was an army doctor. He graduated from the University of Oxford with a Doctorate in medicine with high honors specializing in surgery, then joined the army, progressing rapidly to captain. Though he only saw brief action during the Kosovo War as part of the British contingent of NATO forces, he was in his element and enjoyed his work, even if most of it was fairly routine.

He was preparing to be deployed to the Sierra Leone civil war when he was informed of his transfer. At first he thought it was a joke, and then he hoped it was a mistake. When he found out it was neither, he decided it must be some sort of disciplinary action despite that he received a promotion as well. He knew little about the Caerleon Order at the time, but assumed it was some sort of "home guard" and that he would be largely relegated to general practice duties, with little chance to perform surgery. Even after his orientation lectures and training by LeClerc, he was more appalled than excited. Being a hard-headed medical man, a rationalist, and an atheist, he didn't believe in monsters, paranormal or otherwise, so aside from the culture shock he also became fearful of encountering any. However, when he learned that the only way to refuse the transfer was to resign his commission, he decided to tough it out. He hoped that he might be able to request another transfer after a few years.

As such, he went about his duties with somewhat exaggerated professionalism. At least with the Caerleon troops he was on familiar ground; it was the family and household staff where he messed up. Though caring and dedicated, he didn't need much of a bedside manner because he could count on military discipline and training to solve most such problems, but the non-military people of the Order were a different story, especially the Director. On top of which, with the exception of the occasional accident, most of their issues were illness or stress from overwork. He even found himself acting as an ad hoc psychologist, something he felt ill-suited for. He was particularly dismayed with menstruation and contraceptive related issues. While he had female patients as an army surgeon, he never had to deal with those issues before, and he was somewhat embarrassed by them. The upshot was that he wasn't happy in his new post, but he couldn't think of an honorable way out of it.

When Differel gave him her ultimatum, he was of two minds. On the one hand he saw that as his opportunity to get out of an onerous duty, but on the other he was afraid the transfer would result in a demotion, perhaps even a discharge. Fortunately, he had recommended a friend from medical school as Differel's obstetrician. She liked her, and she was able to advise him on how to change his manner even as she explained to Differel why he acted as he did. As a result she agreed to have a number of informal conversations with him, during which she convinced him of her belief in the coming escalation in paranormal events, and that treating wounds delivered by monsters could be much more challenging than those delivered by bullets and shrapnel. They agreed to give it a year, at which point she would endorse his request for transfer without prejudice if he wanted one.

By the end of that year, however, he had learned how right she was and decided to stay on. Since then he has proven to be a valuable asset, not only for his great skill, but also for his ingenuity in devising treatments for the often savage wounds Order personnel often receive. As well he has reorganized both the manor infirmary and the mobile medic units that accompany the troops into efficient trauma and surgical units. Differel credits him with establishing a survival rate of over 93%, thereby saving hundreds of lives that might otherwise have been lost.

Though he has adopted a more friendly manner when dealing with patients, he still tends to be abrupt, but people now see that as gruff rather than rude. Outside of his medical duties he has also involved himself more in the manor's administrative and social circles. Differel counts him as part of her senior staff and a confidant. He has become something of a father figure and mentor to the young medical staff, most of whom can only take a few years of monster encounters before wanting to leave. The Armed Forces take advantage of this to rotate through personnel to be trained in treating monster wounds, but he has developed a prestigious enough reputation that doctors seek to train with him. Differel has been able to capitalize on that to acquire newer, better equipment.

He is on excellent terms with the rest of the staff, and has proven to be fun-loving and something of a prankster. Though still a bachelor, he is a ladies man; he has nothing but respect for the women of the medical staff, but he likes to flirt with the female staff, analysts, and guards; only Mrs. Widget is immune to his charms, and she has put him in his place a few times. He and Sharona Turing flirt outrageously, but he is genuinely friendly with Maggie King and Madam Trumbo. He is good friends with Holt and Aelfraed, as well as Victor when he was alive. His relationship with Differel is respectfully cordial, but most people agree they do genuinely appreciate and respect one another.

Since Dr. Mabuse became the Order's mad scientist-in-residence, he has taken somewhat of a back seat when it comes to studying monsters, but he doesn't mind, because biological research was never his strong suit. He also welcomes the new medical gadgets and pharmaceuticals she invents, though they compete with regard to developing surgical and standard treatments. However, she gladly defers to him in pure medical matters, especially surgery, and he is the only person, other than Team Girl, in whom she has confided secrets regarding the nature and function of her robotic body's artificial brain.

It should be noted that, out of Differel's entire staff, Dr. Carmichael along with Madam Trumbo are probably the most normal; that is, just regular folk who fell into the monster-hunting business rather than being super-gifted or having prior knowledge and volunteering.