Kevin L. O'Brien's Blog: Songs of the Seanchaí, page 35

The Town of Ulthar

As soon as a Dreamer enters the Land of Dreams through the Cavern of Flame, and once he passes through the dangers of the Enchanted Woods, he usually proceeds directly to the town of Ulthar.

Ulthar lies in the northwest corner of the Six Kingdoms, nestled in the valley of the River Skai. Though sometimes referred to as “The City of Dreamers”, it is not a true city and lacks a defensive perimeter.

Ulthar stands at the gateway between the Six Kingdoms, and all lands to the north, west, and south; only the Land of Ooth-Nargai has no direct contact. Though the port cities of Hlanith, Dylath-Leen, Creachabh, and Gades handle all trade from over the seas, all land commerce into and out of the Six Kingdoms passes through Ulthar. As well, being as Ulthar is the first community encountered by Dreamers entering the Dreamlands, most make it their home or their base of operations. As such, Ulthar contains virtually all the services and amenities that can be found in cities. However, Ulthar is also the center of a thriving farming economy and supplies much food to the whole region.

In Ulthar, no man may kill a cat. As a result, it is the center of feline power in the Dreamlands, being home to the High Queen of All Cats and her Council of Elders. It is also the location of the main Temple of the Great Ones, The Little Gods of Earth. The town is ruled by a Diet of Burghers; its leader, Burghermaster Kranon, serves for life. He is aided by a council of advisors and Atal, the High Priest of the Great Ones. It has no standing army, but is protected by a volunteer citizen militia that doubles as a constabulary, led by the noble youth, Commander Jer’d. It is also protected by a garrison of cats, and in an emergency nearly every cat and most Humans will heed a call to arms.

The town is comprised of two-story frame buildings with stucco walls, decorated with colorful murals, ivory, horn, and gold leaf. The second story invariably overhangs the first. The streets are paved with cobblestones and well-drained, and most have sidewalks.

Never Mess With a Mad Scientist

Dr. Elizabeth Rebecca Mabuse, Caerleon Order Chief Science Officer

Mad scientist, certified genius, border- line sociopath, and sex addict, Dr. Mabuse remained the nemesis of Team Girl, until they proved to be too clever and resourceful for her to defeat taught her the magic of friendship, and so she joined forces with them to rule the world work for the betterment of mankind. Later she became fascinated with paranormal creatures and agreed to become Sir Differel Van Helsing’s resident mad scientist scientific advisor for the Caerleon Order. Differel allows her to work on whatever projects she deems fit provided she supplies the Order with new weapons equipment and comes to her rescue solves mysteries no one else can as needed.

Some of her scientific breakthroughs include artificial brains, autonomous robots, memory recorders, Schrödinger wavefunction transmogrifiers, Kirlian transfer devices, transdimensional gates, time machines, blank clone bodies, particle beam deathrays, matter transporters, and the perfect moist cat food.

One Tough Mother Substitute

Master Gunnery Sergeant Eugene Clement "Gene" Houlihan, USMC (Ret.), was born in 1946 to Staff Sergeant Nathanial Greene Houlihan, US Army, and Katrina Houlihan née Briggs in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He was raised by his mother in the Springs while his father was rotated through various postings around the US and Europe. Even so, his father used his leaves to return home as often as possible, and Gene never felt neglected for want of a male role model. His childhood was fairly normal, with school and sports, and his father pushed him to physically train himself and to over-achieve. Despite this, he enjoyed working out and contact sports, especially boxing and wrestling. At the same time, his mother taught him restraint and respect, and instilled in him a deep and abiding spiritual and moral sense. As such, while he grew into a tall, muscular, tough young man, like his father wanted, he never felt the need to prove his toughness except in competition. His philosophy was that he would never start a fight, but he would always finish it.

From an early age he felt he was different from the other boys, but he didn't understand why until he reached puberty. He found the other boys much more attractive than the girls, and it soon hit him that he was gay. Living in a conservative locale and time, he realized he could not make his proclivities public, but he found other boys who felt the same, and he was able to experiment sexually the same as the straight guys did. Inevitably, rumors of his sexual orientation would circulate, and at such times he valued his physical size and prowess, which either convinced some the rumors were not true, or allowed him to defend himself well against attacks.

Wanting to follow in his father's footsteps, but also wishing to make his own career, he joined the Marine Corps at age 18. He served six tours of duty in Vietnam, the first mandatory, the remainder voluntary, during which he won several awards for bravery, including the Silver Star, the Navy Cross, and the Medal of Honor. He was also captured once and made a POW, but he managed to escape with six others. He also served as a security guard, a recruiting officer, and a drill instructor. After American involvement in the Vietnam War ended, he served in various billets throughout the Pacific and the US, receiving training in computer programming towards the end of his career.

He was injured while engaged in a natural disaster relief effort, and while convalescing, was diagnosed with very early Alzheimer's. Though he had at least two decades before the disease would manifest itself, he was placed on medical leave pending a review, and finally honorably discharged in 1979. In addition to his military retirement pay, his medical benefits, and the pension received as a Medal of Honor winner, Colorado Representative Pat Schroeder pushed through the State Legislature a bill that granted him a stipend for life. As well, a corporate sponsor gave him a townhome in Denver in anticipation of his endorsing products using his celebrity status as a hero, but he declined, though not before securing the deed to the home.

During his career as a Marine, he was continually praised for his initiative not only in advancing his own career, but also in support of his fellow soldiers and the Corps as a whole. He always took on advisor or leadership roles whenever opportunities permitted, even when he wasn't sanctioned to do so, and he rose through the ranks from Private to Sergeant mostly on his own. He was promoted from Sergeant to Staff Sergeant after winning the Medal of Honor, and received subsequent meritorious promotions to Gunnery Sergeant and Master Sergeant. He served as a Platoon Sergeant and a Company Sergeant, and was assigned to various battalions in training, administrative, and promotional roles in his later years. He was also the Corps boxing champion for many years, and often fought charity matches against the Navy and Army champions.

He was finally promoted to Master Gunnery Sergeant on being discharged, both in recognition of his service and to obtain a higher pay and benefits grade. There was talk for some years of making him Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps, but it was never taken seriously, and he had himself debunked the idea by stating he was neither qualified nor capable of serving, and if offered the position would refuse it, since despite the prestige it would have few tangible benefits. His sexual orientation was an open secret throughout his career, but was largely, if not consistently, tolerated for three reasons: his tough demeanor, his initiative and discipline, and his numerous awards. The fact that he behaved in a moral manner and did not openly flaunt his orientation helped. Nonetheless, he made numerous male civilian friends during leaves, most of whom were entertainers. Many continued their relationships with him after his retirement.

He went to a technical school under the GI Bill to learn computer programming, hoping to make a career of it, but despite his service record, his sexual orientation, his status as a Vietnam veteran, and his Alzheimer's diagnosis worked against him; no one would hire him. A friend cosigned a loan so that he could acquire computer equipment, and he managed to support himself as a freelance programmer from home. His father died in 1981, and while he was proud of his son, he never knew he was gay, being as Gene never told him, believing he would not accept it. Gene regretted he could not confide in his father, and it haunted him for years afterwards. That same year, his mother fell down a flight of stairs and went into a coma. He never knew if she had done it on purpose out of grief.

In 1983, he gave away his sister, Constance Louise, ten years his junior, in marriage to Carlton Santanna Chica, and a year later they had a daughter, Eile Marelys. Before her first birthday, however, Carlton had shot Katherine to death, then committed suicide. The authorities could not discover an explanation, and Eile was taken by child services and placed in a foster home, since Gene was her only living relative. He could not, however, abandon her, so with the help of a friend, he successfully sued for custody and became her guardian. Though social services had been drastically cut by the Reagan administration, and there was opposition due to his sexual orientation, he managed to win a child support award, enough for him to hire a live-in nanny and housekeeper and provide for the extra food needed. And he settled into the life of a single parent raising a loveable and active little girl.

That Eile turned into something of a tomboy was entirely his fault. Not having the faintest clue of how to raise a girl, he chose instead to raise her as he had been, emphasizing sports and boxing, along with discipline, respect, and moral sense. He also taught her what he knew of computers. However, when she reached puberty he understood that she needed some form of female role model to emulate, and having nowhere else to turn, he asked a friend, a female impersonator, to teach her how to be girly. Though he remained celibate while she lived with him, he never tried to hide from her his sexual orientation.

However, they encountered hard times when his state child support was cut off, requiring him to let the nanny/housekeeper go. On top of that, his health began to decline, making it difficult for him to work, so Eile was forced to take over doing the household chores and the cooking. As money became even tighter, she started working part-time jobs to help make ends meet. It pained him to see her working so hard, when she should have been out partying with her friends and going on dates. Nonetheless, they persevered, and his two proudest moments came when she graduated high school magna cum laude and later from college with an MBA, and then was hired by a Fortune 500 company. It seemed to him his hopes for her were finally being realized.

Then disaster struck when he suffered a stroke. After a short initial period of unconsciousness he awoke, but was almost completely paralyzed on right side. His veteran's benefits could not cover all his expenses, and he was forced to allow Eile to take out a loan to cover the rest, being unable to object. Then things went from bad to worse when the Veteran's Administration denied his claim for nursing home coverage. Once again, he was forced to endure her sacrificing for him, this time quitting her wonderful job so she could take care of him, as well as watching her being fired from a series of part-time minimum wage jobs when his needs took precedence over them, placing her deep into debt. Even after he recovered sufficiently to help with his own care things did not improve, because he could not be left alone for very long. Finally, one of his friends managed to get the Veteran's Administration to reverse its original decision, allowing him to enter a veteran's nursing facility. Nonetheless, the damage had been done, and he had to live with the guilt of having ruined Eile's life.

The stroke exacerbated his Alzheimer's, and the disease began to progress rapidly. Medical tests that indicated his Alzheimer's was linked to Agent Orange secured him better benefits and allowed him to be placed in better care, but he was told that ultimately there was no hope. By the time Eile met Sunny in person, he was slipping in and out of lucidity. There are times he doesn't even recognize her, and of those times he does, an ever increasing percentage are spent in a state of emotional instability. His guilt and anger over having hurt Eile's chances for a good life, and his upset over her relationship with Sunny, sometimes spill out in emotional tirades, when he blasts them with the full force of his Marine drill instructor persona. Even when he is in control of himself, his guilt and fear override his better judgment. He doesn't want to spend the remainder of his days as a virtual infant, unable to respond to people or take care of even his simplest needs. And he wants to be able to interact with Eile as a person, to mock-terrorize her boyfriends, to give her away at her wedding, and to play with his grandchildren. Unfortunately, he believes that is now impossible.

Legal Tender in Ancient Ireland

The Irish monetary system was supported by two pillars. One was personal wealth. To the Irish, wealth was determined by possessions, not money. In fact, if we could transport an Iron Age Irishman into our time, he would be astonished at how wealthy all Americans are, even those whom we would consider to be below the poverty line. The reason is because, in our industrialized society, even if we cannot pay the rent or the utilities or buy food, we can still have numerous possessions, which is to say goods we own and can take with us rather than goods that are provided to us by, say, a landlord as part of a lease agreement. As such, an Irishman's wealth was determined by how many goods he owned, which included anything whether it was valuable or not, including such mundane items as clothing, linens, utensils, pots and pans, drinking vessels, etc. It also included livestock, slaves, and treasure.

The other pillar was the honor price (log enech) of the individual. Every person had an honor price determined by his or her position in society, and this price determined his or her worth. This price was independent of wealth; though rare, it was not unheard of for a person with a low honor price to have more wealth than a person with a higher honor price. Its main use was in determining the fine (dire) that had to be paid for committing a crime.

See the rest of the article.

Next eBook: Inseparable

The next story in my schedule to be published through Smashwords will be:

Inseparable

Donall the Red alone knows that the revenant that leads the army of the dead was once his own bosom warrior companion, Somhairle the Black, the one person he loves above all others. The Morrigan has charged him with laying Somhairle back into his grave, but he isn't sure he can do it, or event wants to.

This will be another free ebook.

New eBook: The Beast of Exmoor

I have just published my latest ebook:

The Beast of Exmoor

As the United Kingdom's monster hunting bureau, the Caerleon Order will go after any paranormal creature that becomes a threat to Sovereign, Church, and Country. However, it serves as a defensive paramilitary organization, not an investigative agency, so it normally ignores cryptids, creatures whose existence have been suggested but are not yet recognized by scientific consensus, unless they go on a rampage.

The Beast of Exmoor is a famous legendary phantom big cat that haunts the moors of Devon and Somerset in southern England. Reported sighting became national, then international news starting in the mid-seventies, but except for some wild deer and farm animals, it had never attacked a human being, so far as anyone knew.

However, during the latest rash of sightings and animal maulings, a little farm girl has disappeared, rumored to be a victim of the Beast. In response, the Queen has ordered the Caerleon Order to hunt it down and destroy it. Sir Differel Van Helsing has decided that the best tactic would be to deploy snipers around the area, with herself as one of them, using farm animals as bait to lure it into rifle range.

She has every reason to believe her plan will work, given time. But what she and no one else can know is that she is hunting the wrong monster.

This ebook is free and can be downloaded from Smashwords.

Why Did My Story Get Rejected?

Essay by Marian Zimmer Bradley

The first sad truth about marketing fiction of any kind is this, and you are just going to have to deal with it:

EDITORS DO NOT BUY STORIES BECAUSE THEY ARE WELL WRITTEN.

Accept it. Memorize it. Put it up over your typewriter. Yes, it's unfair. And editors have no objection to "well written" stories. Between two salable stories, one well written and one badly written, most editors would rather buy the one that is better written. But if an editor has a well written story that does not meet her requirements, and a BADLY written story that DOES meet her requirements, she will buy the badly written story that does meet her requirements.

Read the rest of the article.

Idiosyncrasies of the Dreamlands

The Dreamlands have a number of idiosyncrasies that make the place seem odder than usual considering its dreamlike nature.

Aside from the wonky process of time and the technological restriction, there are five aspects that strike many Dreamers as particularly unusual.

One is that Dream-bodies tend to be younger and healthier than their Waking counterparts. Most Dreamers appear to be mid 20's to mid 30's (but there are numerous exceptions), and any imperfections are lost. For example, Sir Differel is very myopic in the Waking World, but in the Dreamlands her eyesight is normal. However, sometimes a Dream-body will possess a Waking trait if it is part of the Dreamer's identity. For example, Eile has enhanced strength, endurance, speed, and heat vision from a resident population of vampiric parasites sequestered in her bones, and Sunny has enhanced hearing, smell, and agility from cellular modifications caused by a lycanthropy virus, but these traits carried over into the Dreamlands.

Another idiosyncrasy is that all Dreamers arrive knowing how to understand, speak, read, and write the common language of the Dreamworld. To a Dreamer it looks and sounds like his native tongue, but to the few non-Dreamers who cross over bodily, it sounds like a recording run backwards at a speed that makes the speaker sound like a chipmunk, and looks like chicken tracks. Numerous Waking World languages exist in the Dreamlands, and sound and look normal, but in cosmopolitan areas almost everyone speaks to each other in the common tongue.

Still another seemingly minor idiosyncrasy is that, while Dreamers need to sleep in the Dreamlands, they do not dream (note the lowercase "d"). However, considering that humans at least suffer hallucinations and psychotic breaks if they don't dream at night, it is in fact a major mystery why Dreamers do not dream in the Dreamlands.

The next idiosyncrasy is that, like time, distance is subjective. A city on the far horizon might only take a few hours of travel to reach instead of days or weeks, while a cottage at the foot of a hill slope might retreat further into the distance the closer you get, so that what should have been only an hour stretches into a week. Area is equally affected: the town of Ulthar is bigger on the inside than its external circumference would suggest, and while on a map a village may seem to have only a few dozen acres of arable land around it, on the ground the inhabitants are nonetheless able to effectively farm what seems like hundreds or even thousands of acres.

The last idiosyncrasy is the selection of animals in the Dreamlands. For example, there are no horses, cattle, dogs or wolves, or tigers or lions, but there are zebras, yaks, foxes, jackals, elephants, camels, llamas, rabbits, pigs, sheep, and goats. There are also cats, giant spiders, and dolphins, but these are Dreamers as well. However, there are strange and unusual creatures, such as Zoogs in the Enchanted Wood, unique big cats that never existed in the Waking World, and legendary and mythical creatures, such as dragons, manticores, mermaids, and basilisks.

As a side note, it should be pointed out that Dream-mermaids may resemble the nubile buxom fish-women of Waking World legend, but they are vicious carnivores that like to eat men (literally, not figuratively).

Kiss the Cook

Madam Phillipa Trumbo, Executive Chef, Caerleon Hall

Up until World War II, the servant staff at Caerleon Hall, Differel's ancestral manor, lived in the house just as the family did, with each generation succeeding the one previous. The parents would serve, they would train their children to serve, and when they retired their grown children took over and restarted the cycle. Though compulsory education required that all children ten or younger attend school, active training did not begin until age eleven or twelve, and opportunities outside the estate were so few that service was still one of the best ways for a young person to achieve a good life. Though there had been previous times when Caerleon servants left to seek better opportunities --- World War I, the Industrial Revolution, and the colonizations of India and the Americas --- the cores of the families remained at the manor, and when needed new help could be hired from the surrounding villages, since service offered better opportunities than farming.

This changed after WWII. During the war, most of the servants, women as well as men, volunteered for military duty, and those who survived returned with better opportunities due to the skills training and experience they had acquired. As well, educational opportunities were extended to those who did not choose a career in the military, making it possible for them to leave the manor to make better lives. Sir Miles, Differel's grandfather, tried to stem the steady trickle of servants leaving the manor by offering for the first time in house history first benefits, then salaries, and for a time that worked, but as word came back about how well those who left were doing, the trickle increased until it became a flood.

Matters became worse when in 1972 compulsory education was raised to age 16, delaying the onset of service training for children until a time when they were more likely to decide to go on to college to make different careers. Sir Henry, Differel's father, finally bowed to the inevitable. He not only formally released all servants from compulsory service, he offered to fund their children's college educations, and he began hiring outsiders to fill staff positions. Differel continued this practice, until today the staff is almost entirely made up of non-family hirelings, except for Aelfraed and Mrs. Widget, and when they retire, they will be the last of the family servants.

One area hardest hit by leaving servants was the kitchen staff, being as, while the executive chef, assistant chef, and the station chefs were treated with some prestige, the apprentice chefs and assistant cooks were treated little better than maids or footmen. As well, a talented chef could command a higher salary at a restaurant, hotel, or resort. At Aelfraed's suggestion, Sir Henry decided to hire an almost completely outside staff (at the time, the executive chef and two of the station-chefs were family). Aelfraed assumed that he would hire British or perhaps French chefs and cooks, but Sir Henry surprised him by searching America as well. There he found Philippa Trumbo, a recent graduate of The Culinary Institute LeNôtre in Texas who specialized in pastry, and he hired her to be an assistant cook in charge of pastries and desserts.

As a young girl, Trumbo had always been fascinated with cooking. A scion of an old, prestigious Southern family, she was suspected by other family members of being a mulatto. In any event, she learned early that she couldn't count on support from her family, as much because they had been impoverished during the Civil War and never fully recovered, and would have to make her own way in life. Throughout high school and college she specialized in home economics and domestic sciences, classes normally reserved for girls in any event, but they were the only formal classes that taught cooking in public schools at that time. She also worked as a dishwasher at diners and small restaurants in exchange for tutoring in cooking skills.

After graduating from college with an associates degree in domestic science, she applied to LeNôtre and was accepted based on the strength of her interview. She supported herself by working as a short order cook at a diner. In two years she earned an Elite Diplôme de Cuisine and an Elite Diplôme de Patisserie, qualifying her to perform any form of cooking, but she excelled at pastries.

Her adviser told her about the positions open at Caerleon Hall and she applied hoping to make a fresh start in a country where her ancestry would not be a concern. She interviewed in Houston and was surprised when she was hired on the spot. Surprise turned to shock when her airfare and moving expenses were paid and she was given a bonus for making the move. She soon found out why: she would be expected to live at the manor, which wasn't an altogether appealing prospect because the room was small, she would have to share bathroom facilities, and she had to contend with the high security. Later she found out about the Caerleon Order, which greatly unnerved her, but finally she decided that she need only put up with it for a few years and she could move on to a job in a restaurant or hotel.

Differel was 10 when Trumbo came to work at the manor. As an assistant, Trumbo was expected to help with general meal preparation when she wasn't making pastries or desserts. The little gray-haired girl that kept coming around to the kitchen annoyed her at first, and to get rid of her she started giving her treats, but that only seemed to encourage her to come more often. She started letting her help, which appalled her fellow cooks, but being as she tended to work at odd hours, most of the time there were only maids around to see, and they were more amused than upset. Oddly enough it was some time before Trumbo was advised that the little girl was Differel, the daughter of Sir Henry and the heir to the baronetcy and the Order. That made no difference to her, being American, but afterwards Differel's aunt and guardian, Miranda Pendragon, gave her permission to allow her to help Trumbo whenever she wanted.

Trumbo had no connection with the Order, hence she was never involved with any of its operations except when the manor needed to be evacuated. She was as surprised as anyone when she learned Miranda tried to kill Differel and take over the Order. Dracula unnerved her as he did everyone else, but she was one of the first to accept him being as she hadn't been steeped in Van Helsing and Caerleon Order lore since she was a child as most servants had; to her, Dracula was a stock horror character, even a figure of parody. As well, after the dust finally settled, she was shocked when Differel promoted her to station chef in charge of pastries, with the approval of the executive chef. That entitled her to a higher salary and better benefits, a larger room with a private bath, and greater responsibilities. Though she had considered moving on, having little desire for monster hunting and family intrigue, her promotion convinced her to stay. That, and she had grown fond of Differel over the past two years.

Trumbo was largely content over the next ten years. Differel's training regimen meant she no longer had time to help out as she had before, but she made time once a week to have Trumbo tutor her in cooking. Meanwhile, Trumbo developed a friendship with Mrs. Widget, the housekeeper, while becoming something of a protege to the executive chef. Other than him, she was the only member of the kitchen staff to be formally trained in the culinary arts; the rest had either been apprentices in the manor or had learned from a parent or relative. Part of her responsibilities included being in charge on the off hours and training the other kitchen staff. However, the one person she should have had the least contact with seemed to be in her hair the most.

Another of her responsibilities was to prepare Differel's meals; however, since Differel was the only family member left, Aelfraed had taken on that duty himself, which irritated her to no end. Besides which, they formed a natural rivalry. In addition to being American versus British, with their different cultural attitudes regarding food, and being female versus male, with his belief that the best chefs were all men (Julia Child excepted), she was LeNôtre trained and a devotee of Gaston LeNôtre, whereas he was Le Cordon Bleu trained and a follower of Auguste Escoffier. Then too, Differel had a taste for 'plebian' British cuisine and pub food, including black and white pudding, haggis, welsh rarebit, and fish and chips. Aelfraed was extremely reluctant to make such fare, but Trumbo was willing to experiment with local foods. This caused a number of arguments between them (which the executive chef wisely stayed out of), in which he often lost his butler's cool. The first time Differel heard them go at it, she tried to put a stop to their rivalry, but when she failed, she ordered them to make all future altercations in private.

Despite her problems with Aelfraed, however, she was quite happy at the manor, because she was doing what she loved most. Though she stayed uninvolved in the Order's business, she managed to save Differel's life once, by distracting a hag with food long enough to give Differel a chance to kill it. That may have been the primary reason Differel promoted her to assistant chef when she assumed full control of the estate and the Order, but as well the executive chef was looking to retire and wanted Trumbo to replace him, which she did three years later. She came to an understanding with Aelfraed then, allowing him to make all of Differel's meals, but she still made the foods Differel liked that Aelfraed refused to make (except he learned to make haggis after discovering a recipe invented by his Scottish great-great-grandmother). She doted on Victor, making all his favorite dishes herself, and years later she became very fond of Henry, spoiling him with treats as she had Differel years before.

Now Madam Trumbo, she rules over the kitchen like a tyrant. She largely supervises, but she still acts as pastry chef. Her staff consists of an assistant chef, a half-dozen station-chefs, three apprentices, and a dozen assistants, all with degrees or certificates in the culinary arts. Only a few of them live in the manor, but despite this, she keeps cooking going almost non-stop sixteen hours a day, and sometimes twenty-four when there is a party or other special occasion. Though technically she cooks the same meal for both the staff and the family, Differel keeps her own schedule, and it is easier to let Aelfraed prepare her meals, the exception being supper, when generally Aelfraed serves her whatever Madam Trumbo made for the staff, unless she wants pub food.

Despite her demanding, authoritarian manner, she is well-respected by the staff and very patient when training. She still maintains a rivalry with Aelfraed, but they have developed a deep respect for one another, even a form of affection. Some of the staff believe that if he marries anyone, it will be her, and there is a betting pool as to when he will propose. Differel has £100 on 'Never'. One area in which they cooperate is discipline; a disobedient footman is likely to be demoted to 'kitchen boy' for a week, and she can deal with him rather harshly. Also, she shares jurisdiction of the kitchen and scullery with Mrs Widget, in that scullery and kitchen maids are on duty in those areas as well as cooks, especially the scullery. Their friendship is such that their relationship is fairly cordial, but sometimes they do have disagreements over who's authority predominates.

The Bio of Uallach Ruadhrion

Uallach Ruadhríon was born in Ireland around about the year 3000 BCE. At that time, the only people who inhabited the island were the Hibernians. These were an ancient people, descended from three races of the Hyborian Age: the Bossonians, the Cimmerians, and the Picts. Tribes of these ethnic groups survived the collapse of the Hyborian Age and found themselves isolated on Ireland. Though suspicious, in the press to survive they began to cooperate with each other, and soon intermarried. The result were the Hibernians. Though for many generations different regions of the island had strong racial trends within the Hibernian people — Cimmerian in the northeast, Pict in the northwest, and Bossonian in the south — by the time of Uallach's birth such distinctions had largely been forgotten. The Hibernians formed the genetic and cultural bedrock of the modern Irish people, evidence of which still exists in the mitochondria DNA, language, art, and mythology. They were the peasantry who absorbed the aristocratic invaders, up to and including the British in more modern times.

One minor chieftain, whose name has been lost to history, took a woman for a concubine and she gave birth to a girl. What name her mother gave her has been forgotten, but when she became a teenager, the chieftain acknowledged her as his child and named her Uallach, which in the Hibernian tongue meant "The Proud/Arrogant One". She grew up a member of the privileged noble class, and learned armed combat, singing and poetry, law, and druidry. As the by-blow daughter of a chieftain, however, the best she could hope for was to be married to a retainer, which was far less than what she wanted for herself. As such, she struck off on her own. She traveled the length and breadth of the island, selling her talents — soldier, bard, judge, or priest — for gold, hoping for a break that would place her in a position of power and authority. Along the way she developed an interest in magic, and apprenticed herself to any sorcerer who would accept her. Her break came when she discovered a copy of the Book of Skelos. After studying it, her sorcerous powers increased ten-fold, but that still wasn't enough. Within the book she found a recipe for a potion that would grant eternal life. One ingredient was the blood of a slumbering Vampire, and during her travels she had learned of an ancient one that lay within a tomb at Newgrange. She found his chamber, took a sample of his blood, made the potion, and drank it. Too late she realized her mistake: the potency of the potion lay not in any mystical power, but the Vampiric blood itself. It gave her eternal life as promised, but as a Vampire.

Once her transformation was complete, there was no going back, but once she reconciled herself to her new life, she reveled in its power. She realized she could now fulfill her dream in a way she had never thought possible before: she could rule Ireland as High Queen, and in time the whole of the world. Taking the title Ruadhríon, which meant "The Red Queen", an allusion to both her wine-red hair and her thirst for blood, she set out to conquer an empire, but found the path more difficult than she imagined. The Hibernians opposed her, having no desire to serve merely as her cattle. Her only allies were other Vampires, and many of them would not accept her rule. In desperation, she turned to the only aid she could think of, the ancient Vampire from whom she took blood. She awakened him, and with his support she brought all the other Vampires under her sway. But it was still not enough, and after the Hibernians decimated their numbers, the survivors fled Ireland.

Now on the run wherever they went, Uallach and the Ancient One decided that the only way to survive was to go underground, to hide from those they had to prey upon. And the only way to make that work was to force all Vampires everywhere to do the same. To accomplish that, they needed a central governing body to make laws, with sufficient power to enforce them. Getting rank-and-file Vampires to cooperate was difficult enough, but powerful Vampires sharing power was almost unheard of. However, the Ancient One, being a sorcerer himself, knew how to summon and control the Nosferatu, Vampires so old and powerful they were no longer human. With these, he and Uallach were able to convince the twelve oldest human Vampires to form the Conclave, and they used the Nosferatu as enforcers. Uallach was not invited to join, but being one of the instigators for its formation, and knowing how to command the Nosferatu, she was made the Conclave's messenger and spokesperson.

For the next three millennia she proclaimed and enforced the Conclave's will, becoming in the process the acknowledged queen of the Vampires. She in turn served as liaison and ombudsman to the Conclave for the rank-and-file. As a result, the Conclave came to depend upon her reports, and took her recommendations seriously, adopting many as policy. And she was rewarded when the Ancient One "retired" and returned to slumbering by being appointed to replace him on the Conclave, thus becoming its youngest member. Yet being the most energetic member, she continued as its face and voice, though now she could appoint other Vampires to assist her. And while the other members are content to live within their Transylvanian fortress, she continues to travel the outside world, keeping the Conclave up to date on its ways and development.

Though a strong supporter of the need for anonymity from humans, Uallach has not always been the best role model. Her lust for power has prompted her on a number of occasions to attempt to take over the world in one form or another. One effort brought her into direct conflict with Medb hErenn. They have been enemies ever since, but being as both adhere to the Warrior Code, they respect and admire one another. Over time they have become evenly matched in power, such that a direct, toe-to-toe confrontation would result in a stalemate and a great deal of collateral damage. This has led to them calling an informal truce, which essential amounts to leaving each other alone, provided Medb does not attack Vampiric interests and Uallach doesn't try to take over the world again. This in turn led to a formal treaty between Medb and the Vampires, in which Medb promised not to interfere in Vampiric affairs in exchange for the Vampires leaving her alone.

By nature Uallach is orthodox, and has left it to younger Vampires like Giovanna Mencia Borgia to use human-bred innovation for the betterment of Vampirekind. She would still prefer to hunt than drink donated blood, since she has never gotten used to the taste of the preservatives, but mainly because it is traditional for Vampires to hunt humans, and she is a staunch traditionalist. However, she has little time for it now. Even so, compared to the other members of the Conclave, she is a radical progressive. She has had to fight hard for the adoption of those innovations she comes to believe in, such as the use of computer, telecommunication, and information technology, or integrating Vampiric financial matters into the human global economy. Though not every innovation is adopted, she has been successful with most largely because she is well respected and her suggestions and proposals have worked out well in the past. Because of her own hidebound nature, she has come more and more to rely on knowledgeable and perceptive younger Vampires for evaluating new ideas.

Her relationship to Eile and Sunny is complex. Up until now, Vampires have had only three uses for humans: food, pets, and cannon fodder. The Girls are the first humans Uallach and the Conclave have been forced to recognize as true allies, and it's still an alien concept. It wouldn't take much for them to turn against the Girls, yet as long as the Girls remain loyal, the Conclave is willing to extend to them much of the respect and consideration it feels for other Vampires. And still, no one has forgotten that the Girls are little more than cattle. It would be as if Humans recognized as persons a couple of cows. This tension is ever-present, and many Vampires resent it. Uallach's honor demands that she treat the Girls with respect, but she finds it difficult to think of them as anything more than glorified mascots, and she is appalled when other Vampires like Giovanna treat the Girls as equals and friends. To make matters worse, the Girls have involved her with Medb again, and that relationship is still volatile and hair-trigger. Add to that such unknown factors as Dr. Mabuse, Sir Differel Van Helsing, and the Serpent People, not to mention Dracula, and Uallach is afraid her people are in for a disruptive, possibly violent, even explosive, upheaval.