Kevin L. O'Brien's Blog: Songs of the Seanchaí, page 33

Sir Differel's Personal Property

The Van Helsings were not typical aristocrats in that they were not landed gentry with a long, cultured pedigree, but more like wealthy bourgeoisie. However, neither were they typical plutocrats in that they did not engage in the sitting-room culture, conspicuous consumption, and the display of wealth expected of such a nouveau riche family by British nobility. Considering that nearly all their energies were spent fighting monsters instead of engaging in elite social events or jet-setting around the world, that would be expected.

However, early on Sir Differel Van Helsing had realized that in the modern world, she could no longer afford the complacency of restricting the Caerleon Order to the British Isles as her ancestors had done, but needed to expand its activities to cover more of the globe. Technically, the Order defended the Commonwealth as well as the United Kingdom, but until after World War II, it had never had the resources to travel where needed or the strength to fight on its own, and previous Directors had relied on the local militaries to deal with any incursions. That and the years after Sir Abraham Van Helsing's death had been relatively quiet, with only minor outbreaks occurring at long intervals.

Sir Differel knew from her analysis of past incursions that her tenure would be unusually active, so starting early on she worked to build up the Order's strength. Part of that involved purchasing items that would normally be associated with conspicuous consumption, such as castles, homes, ships, and airplanes, but almost every purchase was made with an eye towards its use in support of the Order. She purchased them as personal property simply to avoid bureaucratic red tape and government regulation, but in her will all these items will be donated to the Order upon her death.

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Team Girl Superthief Team Gemini

Some time ago, I got the idea to write some Team Girl Alternative Reality stories with Eile and Sunny as villains rather than heroes, but I wasn't sure how well that would go over, since I had portrayed the Girls as being righteous up until then.

So I polled my deviantArt Watchers, and it turned out the idea was sort of popular. They did, however, help me set up two ground rules.

The first is that they will be pure villains. Not bad gals with hearts of gold, not antivillains who fight for justice, but totally despicable (if still lovable and adorable) characters who do bad things which just happen to produce good ends.

In other words, they'll steal from orphans, but in doing so reveal that the governess is using them for child porn. Stuff like that.

The second is that they always win. No matter how reprehensible their goal, they will achieve it no matter what.

Which I think is a challenge, because it requires that in winning, they still save the day.

So here the first of the Team Girl villain ideas I created.

Team Gemini --- Superthieves

Eile Chica is a master thief, who specializes in high-risk, high-reward capers, especially second-story jobs or anything that requires a lot of specialized gadgets and electronics. She prefers a challenge, and has passed up more lucrative targets because they were too easy. She also prefers high-profile targets, since she enjoys the publicity that surrounds the theft. She targets objects almost exclusively --- art pieces, jewelry, collectables, etc. --- and almost never steals cash or credit

Sonne Hiver is a conman who targets the superrich with stings and blackmail. She is old-school, preferring to enact her cons with disguises and acting, and at best a few props. She also prefers a challenge, but in her marks, going after dangerous people who could kill her if they found out. She also prefers marks who will not call in the authorities or publicize their loss.

They first met when they targeted the same item, an exquisite diamond sculpture being auctioned off for a childrens' cancer charity. Sunny bid for it against a crime boss and won it using a fake bank account, but Eile stole it before she could claim it. She had made a deal with the crime boss to sell it to him for his maximum bid before he bowed out, but to save her life she had to get it from Eile. It passed back and forth between them as they each restole it, until the crime boss got tired of their game and ordered them killed. They then joined forces to take him down, robbing him of his jewel collection and collecting evidence that got him convicted of murder. After that, they became partners and never looked back.

They sold the jewels, paying the charity what Sunny bid for the sculpture, and used the rest to start a casino, Zodiac, in Cairnsford, Colorado. Though at first they used their thievery profits to support it, it has since made them millionaires and now supports their thieving. It also serves as their cover. They often discuss retiring and going legitimate, but then a new challenge comes along and they decide to do "one last job". In reality they can't stop stealing because they love the thrill. Their calling card is a gold-plated poker chip engraved with the enamel image of two nude korai standing arm in arm.

Only three other people know their secret. One is Wendy Cleasa, the casino manager. They saved her when she embezzled money from a banker laundering terrorist funds. At first she worked for them out of gratitude, but now is virtually a full partner, providing administrative, logistical, and intelligence support. They know she is embezzling from them, but look the other way because her support is valuable.

The second is Sir Differel Van Helsing, a minor bureaucrat who nonetheless keeps the British government working. She framed them for stealing the crown jewels, then blackmailed them into stealing counterfeit pound note plates from a terrorist group. Since then she has provided support whenever they have jobs in Europe, in exchange for information and an occasional favor.

The third is Medb hErenn, who has been their confidant, supplier, and fence since each started their respective careers. Now successful enough to return the favor for other beginning thieves, they still look to Medb for advice and counsel whenever they need it.

Their two biggest enemies are Dolores Cadera-Hueso, an agent with the FBI, and Flann Chromain, an agent with Interpol. Cadera-Hueso has a vendetta against Eile, as she believes she tried to kill her at one time (in reality, it was Eile's employer at the time who ordered the agent killed, and it was Eile's anonymous warning that had saved her), while Chromain has one against Sunny for swindling funds from a philanthropist seeking to aid disaster victims (in reality, the philanthropist was using the disaster to funnel funds to terrorist groups). They have worked for years to discover their identities and collect enough evidence to put them away for life.

They also have two allies. One, Lt. Gen. Morgan Leia Ross, Ret., who now runs a defense industry company, has used them to steal secrets from rivals, and has provided them with leads to tempting targets owned by corrupt government and military officials. Their contact with Ross is her one-time adjutant, Torain Thegn. The other ally is Marseilles Sheraton, a criminal leader who acts as a broker providing them with information of possibles heists and acting as a go-between with possible clients, for a percentage fee.

The Faerie Lore of Ireland

Faeries are not unique to Ireland; however, the Irish did not develop a ghost tradition until the coming of the Anglo-Normans in 1171, or a demonology until the imposition of continental style Roman Catholicism circa 1000 C.E. Until then, their supernatural lore centered on Faeries.

The term Faerie is derived from "Fé erie", meaning the enchantment of the Fées, while Fé is derived from Fay, which is itself derived from Fatae, or the Fates. The term originally applied to supernatural women who directed the lives of men and attended births. Now it has come to mean any supernatural creature tied to the earth, except monsters and ghosts. In Ireland, the Faeries are called the Aes Sídhe (singular Aes Sídh). Sídhe happens to be the name for the earthen mounds and hills that dot the Irish landscape. Irish mythology, legendry, and folklore claim the Faeries live under these mounds, so the term "sídhe" has come to mean Faerie in general, but it more properly refers to the palaces, courts, halls, and residences of the Faeries. However they are known by a wide variety of euphemisms, including "the Fair Folk", "the Good Neighbors", "the Little Folk", "the Little Darlings", and "the People of Peace". This is done for two reasons. The first is to avoid attracting their attention, and the second is to avoid insulting them.

The modern term "fairy" is not used on this website, because of its link to "fairy tales", which in their modern form have little to do with actual Faeries, and its connotation with homosexuals. Similarly, the term "elf", is not used primarily to avoid confusion with the Quendi of J. R. R. Tolkien. While his elves have characteristics in common with Faeries, they are still living, breathing beings. Also, in legends and folklore, elf was used in Scandinavia the same way Aes Sídh was used in Ireland, to refer to any Faeries, and it was introduced to Britain by the Anglo-Saxons, but in English literature it came to refer to the diminutive fairies of Spenser and Shakespeare, which in conventional Faerie lore would be the equivalent of the little nature spirits.

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Next eBook: One-Percenter Vendetta

The next story in my schedule to be published through Smashwords will be:

One-Percenter Vendetta

After the death of her husband, Sir Differel Van Helsing decided to take some time off and tour the English back-roads on a motorcycle, and rethink her life. Unfortunately, paranormal threats are everywhere, and she cannot ignore them.

This will be another free ebook.

New eBook: The Temple of Ubasti

I have just published my latest ebook:

The Temple of Ubasti

During their first Dream-year in the Land of Dreams, Eile and Sunny were mentored by Medb hErenn, who taught them about the Dreamworld and trained them in how to conduct adventures and to defend themselves. By the end of that year they had learned enough and gained enough experience to adventure on their own, but Medb sometimes still accompanied them, both because she enjoyed their company, and because she found their choices of adventures intriguing.

One of their favorite pastimes is looting lost and abandoned temples, castles, and other ruins, both because they tend to be lucrative, and for the excitement of discovering something no one else had. So when they heard about the legendary temple of Ubasti, they decided to try to find it, and Medb volunteered to come along.

They did find it with relative ease, and discovered the treasure was real, but a booby trap separated Sunny and Medb from Eile, and guards attacked her, forcing her to flee for her life.

Now she must find a way to save herself and rescue the others, before some awful fate befalls them, but she will need help. Fortunately, she is able to find some, but it comes from the most unlikely source imaginable.

This ebook is free and can be downloaded from Smashwords.

The One True and Only Way -- To Become Published (Part 2)

Continued from Part 1:

[Note: Something I should have mentioned in my previous post was that the belief you should not start a story until you know how to finish it is by no means universal, despite the claims of the HWA. See, for example, this article.]

Continuing where I left off, my major concern regarding the idea of a One True Method to Get Published is that the one promoted by the HWA didn't work for me. Normally that would be taken as evidence that the One True Method was anything but; that it might work for many people but it wouldn't work for everyone.

Unfortunately, the members of the HWA discussion board took the attitude that the problem wasn't with the Method, but the people who tried it and failed to make it work. To make matters worse, they didn't sound like they were affirming the obvious fact that some people simply don't have a talent for writing. Instead, their words strongly suggested they were making a predestination argument: more than one stated quite clearly that anyone who couldn't make the Method work was not meant to be a professional writer.

One individual stated this opinion succinctly in a slightly different context. He was editing an anthology and had posted the guidelines to the board. When an Affiliate asked for clarification on one point, he replied that anyone who couldn't understand the guidelines as written wasn't meant to be published in the anthology and shouldn't submit. When I admitted at one point that I had spent three decades using the Method and hadn't published anything, he responded by saying, "Enough said." His implication was that I wasn't meant to be writer, probably because I was bad at it.

Naturally, his response is ludicrous, because there are any number of reasons why I didn't get published other than the one he supposed. In point of fact, I couldn't get published because I couldn't finish anything, but not because I never knew how to finish my stories. It was because of the Method rule that I had to knuckle down, discipline myself, and write like a professional. Unfortunately, whenever I inevitably became bored or frustrated with one story, I got an idea for a new one, so I abandoned the old story and started on another.

[I should note that I was able to finish a few stories during this time period, but I did so, not thanks to the Method, but because of a different tactic I will describe in Part 3.]

The cycle repeated itself endlessly, with me becoming more frustrated and depressed every time it happened. By the year 2000, I had almost concluded that maybe I wasn't meant to be a writer, even though I felt compelled to write. I simply didn't know what to do.

To be continued

Meals in the Dreamlands

Kuranes, king of Celephaïs and thereby ruler of Ooth-Nargai, once remarked that the inhabitants of the Dreamlands are like Hobbits, in that they love food and drink. He was specifically referring to the fact that most people eat as many as seven meals a day. There are three primary reasons for this. The first is that almost everyone in the Dreamlands works hard for a living, so eating numerous meals provides them the energy they need all day without getting full and lethargic. The second is that, while food preservation is fairly sophisticated, once a meal is cooked it cannot be kept for longer than a day. As such, having numerous small meals rather than a few large ones keeps the amount of food prepared limited, so that there are few if any leftovers. Also, the leftovers of a previous meal can be eaten as part of the next, or a later meal.

Finally, the third is that even though food is plentiful in the Dreamlands and readily available, it still is not possible to pop down to the corner grocer and pick up something for dinner. Rural families acquire their food at harvest time, and however much that is, it has to last them an entire year until next harvest, minus what they sell at market. Eating numerous small meals makes it easier for them to ration their stored food than eating a few big meals. Meanwhile, urban people have to rely on markets to acquire their food, and even during the summer and fall they do not operate every day. They must buy enough food to last until the next market, and since not every market stocks the same foods, they have to buy enough of each foodstuff to last until it is available again. As such, they too need to ration. Add to that the fact that few preservation methods can provide shelf lives longer than several weeks, as well as how expensive food can be, and urban dwellers have to be rather frugal with their food, so that they do not waste it to spoilage or preparing meals they cannot finish in one sitting. Similarly, both urban and rural folk tend to eat smaller portions at each meal.

Though not everyone eats exactly seven meals every day, there are seven that are commonly consumed: first or dawn breakfast, second or morning breakfast, morning tea or elevenses, luncheon or lunch, afternoon tea or fourses, dinner, and finally supper. In some locals people combine second breakfast and morning tea into brunch, while elsewhere afternoon tea and dinner is combined to form high tea (often with lunch being the main meal of the day). Most other types of meals are simply different expressions of these nine, but a few unique ones persist: cinq à sept, which is a kind of formalized cocktail party held between five and seven in the evening; iftar, which is a meal eaten after sundown after a day of fasting; and Sunday roast, a large meal eaten once a week that combines lunch and afternoon tea. There are also special meals served for social occasions, such as banquets, barbecues, buffets, luaus, picnics, state dinners, holiday and religious feasts, and birthday and wedding parties, not to mention wakes and other funerary meals. It should be noted, however, that while some of these meals are little better than snacks, snacks are considered different from meals in that snacks can be eaten on the run while meals are more sedentary, if not actual sit-down, affairs.

First breakfast is, as the name implies, the very first meal eaten during the day. In fact, the word 'breakfast' derives from the phrase "breaking the fast", or a period of time in which someone refrains from eating, such as while sleeping. First and second breakfast are tied to one another, in that they tend to be opposites. For example, in rural areas a family may have what is known as a continental breakfast consisting of a pastry with jam and perhaps a slice cheese and even meat with tea or coffee as soon as they get up, then have a full breakfast consisting of a fried egg with bacon and sausage early-mid morning after completing the first chores. Whereas in urban areas people usually do the opposite, such that second breakfast becomes more of a snack with sweet pastries or a small cake. In some locals, first and second breakfast are combined into a single full breakfast that can also include kippers, mushrooms, hash browns, black and/or white pudding, and toast and marmalade, sometimes with fruit.

Morning tea is another snack-like meal that consists of biscuits, pastries, or cake with tea or coffee. It is called 'elevenses' because it is usually served late morning, often around eleven.

Brunch is more substantial than elevenses, because it offers a combination of foods from a full breakfast and lunch. It also tends to be served mid-morning, later than second breakfast but before morning tea. Diners can have a full breakfast or lunch, or mix and match. Even so, the dishes tend to be lighter than either would normally offer because of the greater variety.

Lunch is the midday meal, and serves as a convenient break between morning and afternoon activities. It can be either a large meal or a small one. In rural areas, it tends to be large, both to satisfy famished appetites after the morning work and to fortify the family for the often heavier afternoon work. In urban settings, however, it tends to be light, just enough to fill the stomach until the larger dinner in the evening. Large lunches tend to be no different from dinners, but light lunches typically offer dishes that are easier and quicker to prepare. Sandwiches are common, but people also eat salads, soups, tacos, sushi, pizza, or what would amount to dinner side dishes. Lunch is also a good time to consume leftovers from breakfast or brunch, or the previous day's dinner.

Afternoon tea is another snack-like meal. It is called 'fourses' because it is generally served mid-afternoon around four. However, it is typically more substantial than the light breakfast or morning tea in that small sandwiches, scones with jam and clotted cream, and pastries are offered. The dishes served usually compliment lunch, such that if lunch consisted of sandwiches tea will concentrate more on baked goods; otherwise, there can be more sandwiches than pastries. A simple meal of tea and scones with clotted cream (and jam) is often called 'cream tea', though the name comes from the scone spread and not that cream is used in the tea (which it is not; milk is used exclusively).

High tea is a meal served in early evening if lunch was practically dinner. However, unlike brunch it is not a combination of afternoon tea and dinner, but a substitute for both. If anything it is more like an evening lunch. It is sometimes called 'meat tea' because hot dishes that feature meat are usually served. However, the food can be characterized as 'pub grub', such as fish and chips or meat pies, and on warm days cold meat dishes are substituted. As with lunch, what amount to dinner side dishes can be served as well, but bread with butter and jam and cakes almost always accompany the main dishes.

Dinner is the largest meal served during the day. If lunch is small, dinner occurs in the evening after fourses, sometimes late evening. Aside from the amount of food, what distinguishes dinner is that usually it is the only meal that has multiple courses; at least three—an appetizer, an entrée, and dessert—though sometimes many more, and the entrée itself usually consists of two or three courses: meat, starch, and a vegetable. It is also usually the most formal meal. It forms the basis of more extravagant meals, such as banquets and feasts, where the number of courses can be as many as twenty-one. And it tends to be the social highpoint of the day, whether for the members of a family or of a community.

Supper is the last meal of the day. It is commonly a snack eaten before going to bed. The food can be as simple as bread and butter or a baked good and jam, to as elaborate as a lunch dish; it is also a good opportunity to finish off leftovers from a previous meal. How large the meal is generally depends upon whether dinner or high tea preceded it, with more food being served if less was eaten a few hours before. While the 'logic' of supper is based in part on a folk belief that the body is active during the night and needs energy, it is also partly based on the fact that eating before bed reduces the amount of hunger a person wakes with. There is also some truth to the rural legend that it helps people sleep better.

It should be pointed out that, while the listed foods are traditional, there can be considerable variation in the dishes offered at any meal, depending upon personal tastes, local cuisine, and what's available. In fact, many of the names for these meals in other cultures are based on the alternative foods served.

As a final note, there is one more meal the people in the Dreamlands commonly eat, and that is the midnight snack. Though this is written with tongue firmly planted in cheek--consuming food during a temporary period of wakefulness in the middle of the night has never been recognized as an official meal--it is an activity almost everyone has engaged in at once in their lives, and it is a habit many people have acquired and enjoy.

Sir Differel's Favorite Weapons

As Director of the Caerleon Order, Sir Differel Van Helsing was trained in weapons and hand-to-hand combat. Because of her unique situation, however, she was probably taught more extensively than any previous director. Though she understood the necessity of the training—as the last of the Van Helsings her life had to be preserved at all costs to retain control of Vlad Drakulya—she found she enjoyed it, especially the swordwork. Over time she has collected a group of weapons which are her favorites. These are the ones she uses in preference to all others, though she is trained in a wide variety of different types of weapons.

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Bio of Pastor Sjauken

John Edward Sjauken was born in 1908 in New York state. He graduated from Concordia College in 1929, then went to the Lutheran Theological Seminary at Philadelphia, graduating with a Master of Sacred Theology. His first church posting was to a mission church in the Bronx, New York City. Being during the Great Depression, he joined the Army Reserve to supplement his income. When the US entered World War II in 1941, his unit was called up, but he decided to serve, and he went with the Second Army Corp to Africa as a chaplain. He later served in Sicily and Italy under Gen. Patton, and participated in the D-Day invasion, coming ashore at Omaha Beach. In France he received the Bronze Star and the Chaplain's Medal for Heroism, and was promoted to Major before retiring in 1945. Upon his return to the States, he went back to the seminary and received a Doctor of Ministry with an emphasis on education, and taught Religion at Hartwick College in Oneonta, NY. In 1949 he took a church in Syracuse, NY, and became the Fire Department chaplain. In 1956 he came to Denver to found the Sunday School Wing of the Denver Trinity Evangelical Lutheran Church, and acted as its director until he retired in 1978. Yet he remained active in the church, conducting visitations with seniors and shut-ins. In 1987 he left the church entirely to start a homeless shelter, catering to families and single parents with children. Though there was no shortage of people needing assistance, he has been able to help a large number of them turn their lives around and get off the streets.

Pastor Sjauken first met Medb hErenn in Europe and he helped her stop the Fomorians from using the war to reclaim their rule over the world. She was instrumental in helping him get his shelter started, and continues to fund it to this day, and she is the primary benefactor behind his efforts to rehabilitate his patrons. He first met the Girls when Sunny came to Denver looking for Eile, hoping she could protect her from the people trying to kidnap her. She hid out among the homeless for a time, and one of the few places where she felt safe was his mission. Later, the Girls hid out there together, but left when they thought he would betray them. However, he had alerted Medb they were there, and that made it possible for her to rescue them later. Since then, he has helped and advised them on a number of occasions, and they contribute time and money to his shelter whenever they can.

Pastor Sjauken is a kind, gentle, patient man, understanding, compassionate, and tolerant, but uncompromising in his belief and faith. He is pious and devout, but he does have some unorthodox ideas, and he is somewhat liberal in his outlook. For example, he is not bothered by the fact that Sunny and Eile are lovers, even though they are both girls, but he has explained that it is because he believes they are in love, not lust, and where there is true love there is no act that is inappropriate. Besides, in the end, he believes it is a matter between themselves and God, and they are the only ones who can know whether their actions are truly right. What really amazes the Girls, though, is that despite being over a hundred years old, he is still energetic and spry and shows no signs of slowing down.

The Supernatural Beings of Ireland

The supernatural is not unique to Ireland, but it can sometimes seem that way, thanks largely to Hallowe'en. A contraction of "Hallow Even", and derived from All Hallows Eve, the night before All Saint's Day, it is based on the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain. This was the Celtic New Year and signaled the start of winter. It was the time when the livestock were rounded up and slaughtered. It was also the time when the barriers between the world of the living and the Otherworld -- the abode of Faeries, monsters, and the dead -- weakened and allowed the respective inhabitants to cross over. The Gaels of Ireland lit bonfires to keep supernatural creatures at bay, carved lanterns with scary faces out of turnips to frighten off goblins, and wore masks and costumes if they had to go about during the night to placate any beings they might encounter. These traditions were brought to America by Irish immigrants and became part of Hallowe'en, thereby infusing American culture with Irish supernatural traditions. Many of the folkloric creatures we now strongly associate with the supernatural, including ghosts, goblins, were-creatures, and the undead, have been strongly influenced by Irish folktales and legends.

Below is a list of Irish legendary creatures. Unless otherwise indicated, all the beings listed actually exist in Irish or Celtic traditions. In some cases, the spelling has been changed to conform to the Pronunciation Guide, and some details have been altered to conform with the background mythology of the Medb hErenn universe, but otherwise the information presented here is true to Irish and Celtic stories.

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