Andy Rivers's Blog, page 4
March 17, 2015
Special - Kindle promo
I've been messing about with videos - what do you reckon to this?
Cheers
Rivs
My old man's a club man...
An (extremely) irregular series showing life as seen through the eyes of the regulars at a Northern Working Mans Club
Sid
It’s that Mugabe that’s to blame like. Oh Aye, that bugger and his power hungry ways. That’s why we cannit get a cheap pint in here any more. I saw it on the news last neet that the knacker’s driven that many farmers out of business in Zimbabwe that ye cannit get a loaf of bread ower there for less than ten million poond or summat.
So, I was talking to Knocker like, ye kna Knocker man his dad’s an ex-pitman and his mam was a land girl, you dee man he sells them Viagras on a Friday night to the lads with the droop at closing time? Anyways I was talking to him aboot it and he reckons, and this is gospel cos he heard it at Morrisons on Shields Road off that bloke who’s in the TA and he knas a couple of the special squad who’ve been parachuted into Africa a couple of times, he reckons that this means the price of yeast has went right up roond the world and all.
That’s why the brewery has put the price of special up to seventy eight pence, SEVENTY EIGHT Pence you kna, I’m a bloody pensioner me. It’s disgusting it is. I’ll have to turn the heating doon again if I want to keep drinking.
Aye it’s all that Mugabe’s fault the bastard – nee wonder they want him oot!
March 5, 2015
Kindle edition available for 99p!
It's true, 'Special' is available for pre-order on your Kindle now before the release date of 23rd March for ONLY 99p! The price goes up to the normal rate of £1.99 then so don't miss out and order your copy now by clicking this link.
March 1, 2015
It's HERE! 'Special' paperback available now with FREE gift!
It's my usual whirlwind of violence, swearing, sex and drugs so here's some blurb to whet your whistle :-
'Behind every tough, rundown, drug and crime-ridden estate there's always an untouchable hard-case controlling it. In Byker that person is Falcus...or so he thinks. His crown is slipping, the challenges are constant and a new face is making himself known. He's a vigilante, he's gunning for the main man and he's picking off the scumbags one-by-one while he does it.'
'Special' is a gritty crime drama that's set in a world where unemployment is rife, your wallet will be taxed, your car will be TWOCed and, if your face doesn't fit, it'll be punched.
This is Byker; this is real life.'
Or, if you're more of a fan of electronic reading, you can pre-order the Kindle edition for only £1.99 to ensure you get it on the release day of 23/3.
What are you waiting for man - get some sweary Geordie goodness in ya lives! ;-)
December 9, 2014
IT's HERE! Signed copies available now...
My new book is now available. You can get it from Byker Books (just click here to be taken through to their site) where they have signed copies and free P&P in the UK or you can get it from Amazon...where they don't!
It's my usual whirlwind of violence, swearing, sex and drugs so here's some blurb to whet your whistle :-
'Behind every tough, rundown, drug and crime-ridden estate there's always an untouchable hard-case controlling it. In Byker that person is Falcus...or so he thinks. His crown is slipping, the challenges are constant and a new face is making himself known. He's a vigilante, he's gunning for the main man and he's picking off the scumbags one-by-one while he does it.'
'Special' is a gritty crime drama that's set in a world where unemployment is rife, your wallet will be taxed, your car will be TWOCed and, if your face doesn't fit, it'll be punched.
This is Byker; this is real life.'
September 10, 2014
A 'Special' new book is imminent...
Alreet kids,
How's your summer been? I hurt my back so I haven't been about much, however, this has meant I've knuckled down and did some of that 'writing' stuff I hear so much about.
In fact I've done so much that I appear to have finished my latest novel ("Special") and, after mithering my publisher (the mighty Byker Books), it should be out for Christmas and, after much discussion, we've decided to make it worth the while of anyone who pre-orders.
That's all I'm telling you for now but it's important to note that EVERYONE on my mailing list (see the link at the topt of the page) will get first option on this so if you think you might like a little bit extra from your favourite foul-mouthed author (that's me by the way) then you need to register yourself onto my list and I'll contact you personally when the time is right.
I'll leave it there for now but remember - YOU NEED TO BE ON MY LIST TO GET FIRST REFUSAL!
So do it now before you forget...you know you will...do it now!
Later
AR
September 2, 2014
Smashing Windows!
June 10, 2014
I believe I can fly...
I bloody love BA!
You don't hear that often do you? But, after years of budget, cheap and generally customer unfriendly air travel I ended up on a British airways flight to Verona (Mr. Shakespeares 450th birthday you know - cultured as owt me like!)
Anyway, It started when I was online checking in the day before. Pick your seat, so what? That's all pretty standard you might think - aye?
So did I, then, out of curiousity, I clicked on the emergency exit seats...and got them...at NO EXTRA CHARGE!
I'm a big lad so that's the equivalent of a bloody upgrade to a backstreets Byker boy I can tell you.
Then, after being ripped off at Gatwick for a coffee and a sandwich (it was five o clock in the morning so fuck off with your 'get a proper drink you soft shite' bollocks) I boarded my plane to be met by a smiling crew member (smiling! Its like they value my custom!) who, once we'd taken off gave me muesli, juice, a filled croissant and coffee FOR NOWT!
I could certainly get used to this like - in fact i think this could be the next big thing, I tell you, customer service...its the future.
ps...and the 'proper' drink was free an' all...mint!
March 21, 2014
Why Kate Bush Can Stick Her Tour Where The Sun Don't Shine...
I love music. I particularly love live music, however, recent excitement on the social networks about Kate Bush touring again has left me cold. In fact, cold isn't the right word but I don't think there is one for bitterness combined with historic anger, humiliation and an eight year olds first experience with being let down. Let me explain before the trolls start yelling for attention. My primary school wad selected to be the audience on 'Razzamatazz' back in the days of only three channels and a 50p slot on the back of your telly (no? Just us?) things like this didn't happen often to an unremarkable working class school populated by the council estate kids from all around it in the '70s. Those of us actually selected to go bigged it right up to our under-performing, truanting and downright naughty classmates.
"Ha, you've got to work while we're meeting pop stars!"
"I don't care, theyll be shit!"
"Ha, it's Kate Bush! She's skill man!"
"Waaaahh. Its not fair."
Brilliant.
So after many weeks of one-upmanship the great day arrived and we were shuttled to the mighty Tyne-Tees studios to meet a genuine A-list celeb, oh how we preened and postured to our unfortunate classmates as the bottom of the range bus coughed its way out of the yard. Our excitement was dashed however when word filtered round upon our arrival that Miss Bush simply couldnt be arsed to travel to the frozen North.
"Not to worry," said my mate big Deka, "there's bound to be someone else good on and if I win the top twenty singles in the competition you can have the Boris Gardner one."
Smashing. We couldn't afford a record player but stil a nice touch from the big lad.
Except...Deka wasn't even in the competition and Kate's replacement was someone that left me with a sinking feeling when contemplating my left behind classmates the next day.
"Now children, Kate Bush sadly can't be here today but instead we've got a great replacement..."
"It'll be The Jam."
"Nah man, It's probably The Sex Pistols."
"I hope it's Roxy Music me."
"No children, it's better than that - we've got Bucks Fizz! Hooray."
Oh for fucks sake.
So instead of 'Wuthering Heights' we got a badly mined rendition of 'Making Your Mind Up' (I wasn't even old enough to appreciate the skirts being ripped off!) and I got a complex about KB that lasts to this day.
I'll probably give her tour a miss.
March 5, 2014
Under The Hammer!
In an effort to send me to the poorhouse (they've made a comeback right? Cheers Tone & Nick!) my publisher - the redoubtable Byker Books - has decided to give another of my books away for free.
Maxwell's Silver Hammer will be gratis on your Kindle from Tuesday 11th March to Saturday 15th March - make sure you get your mitts on it for nowt and tell all your mates as well...maybe they're trying to tell me something...
Cheers
