Michelle Gordon's Blog, page 3

Into the Woods

Over the last couple of years, I started a podcast where I would record my ramblings while actually rambling through the woods with my doggo. I would just hit record and talk about whatever came to mind, hoping a topic would emerge.

Which is pretty much what I’m doing in this blog post!

I am actually walking in the woods right now, it’s way too early to be out but Chouli was keen for once (she’s not a morning dog!) So we are in the woods, listening to the morning birdsong, talking to random dog walkers.

It’s not as easy to write this as it is to record a podcast, but I am determined to blog more, so here we are!

I had a great conversation with a guy yesterday who helped me to get some of my marketing mojo back (he clearly loves it, unlike me!) and one of the things we discussed was how important location is. That depending on where you grow up, your success in certain careers may be limited. That unless you surround yourself with people who are doing what you want to do, then it’s difficult to succeed. The example that comes to mind is Ed Sheeran. He wanted to sing, so he hung out at gigs, then started gigging, and he made sure he was in the right places to learn, to grow, to improve and to hone his craft that he loved. He literally put himself in the way of greatness. He didn’t stay at home, hoping and dreaming and wishing that maybe one day, someone would find him and make him a star.

Which I can confirm is not the route to stardom! Of course, becoming a successful author is slightly different. It’s a pretty solitary endeavour, there aren’t gigs to attend, but there are book fairs, festivals, workshops, courses, etc. The London Book Fair was an eye-opener, so many writers and publishers in one place. It was quite overwhelming, and though there was a sense of being amongst my people, there was also a sense of complete inadequacy.

Wow, a writer with imposter syndrome? How original!

It’s a weird thing, to have written books, but to not feel like an author. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t write every day, or because my books don’t pay me a living wage, or because I’m not surrounded by other authors. It may just be because authors don’t actually feel any different! Maybe they just feel like regular people who tell stories that get printed.

Hell, maybe it’s just because I’m a woman from the South Wales valleys, where dreams were simply not catered for.

But whatever the reason, it’s no excuse. Because I have written books, and I have amazing readers waiting for the next ones, and they don’t care if I feel like a real author or not, they just want the next story.

So all of that ramble to say, I plan to get writing, and thanks to that chat yesterday, I feel like I’ve got some of my marketing mojo back too. So be prepared, if you’re on my mailing list or social media, you may be seeing a lot more of me!

My preferred kind of web!

Oops I did it again

So last year, (how was it that long ago?!) I started blogging again, determined to get back into writing posts regularly, and strengthening my writing muscles while connecting with you, my readers.

But somehow, it’s been nearly a year since my last post. What the actual?

To be fair, it’s been very busy, I have published several more books for clients, become a step-grandma, moved my print studio and opened a shop, and published book 3 in my children’s series, The Magical Dragon Mirror.

So it’s not like I’ve been particularly lazy, but goodness, I wish I could stick to the things I’ve decided to do!

But I have also filled my time with random shit that I didn’t need to be doing, like scrolling insta, watching reels, and zoning out in front of Netflix/prime/disney. I once had an app on my phone that calculated how much time I spent on apps. I worked out that in one month, I wasted the equivelant amount of time that I could have written 150k words.

My whole life, I have thought that I was just a bit crap with making good habits, with sticking with things (I’m most definitely a quitter) and then, thanks to my hours and hours of scrolling, I started to realise that actually, the likelihood is that I have ADHD.

Now I’m not a label fan, and I’m not rushing to get an official diagnosis (nothing against it, just not something that would help or benefit me personally) but the realisation and the understanding of the underlying reasons for certain behaviours has helped me immensely. Mainly with just being a bit kinder to myself. I’ve also stepped up my supplement game and found that I’m not quite so exhausted, and I can recognise the approaching burnout and rest before I get ill.

I have gone through periods of anger and mourning. Anger that no one ever saw it, including me. Yet when I say it to people I know, their response is ‘well of course!’ And mourning for all the lost potential, and for the support that I could have had, that might have meant my finances weren’t such an atrocious mess for so long.

But then, the flip side is that not knowing meant that I pushed myself harder to do the things I found so difficult. I set deadlines and wrote whole novels. I completed projects after the initial dopamine hit wore off. I pushed through the tiredness and exhaustion. So, in essence, I got things done that many with ADHD cannot.

Because I assumed I was a regular human with a terrible memory and little sticking power, so I had to override these things. Now there’s a reason for it, I do find myself not pushing so hard, so of course, things don’t get done.

I’m still learning so much about myself, still learning the ways that work for me, how to best take care of myself, and how to not annoy the people around me. But I know that the label won’t do anything for me other than help my understanding of how I approach life, and how I interact with the world.

So I’m not going to promise to write this thing regularly, because I hate breaking promises, even though I seem to do it a lot.

And I’m not going to say that book 11 is coming soon, or the six other books I want to write. To be honest, I’m just doing my very best to keep creating an income, keep surviving, and not burn out. So, really, any content I create is a bonus, because honestly? Writing has not been a lucrative thing for me. I don’t make my living from it. In fact, it’s probably cost me more than it has made.

Of course, that’s because I suck at marketing and find it completely impossible to do anything consistently, which I think I’ve demonstrated with this blog!

So if you want to read more of what I write, please buy my books, if you already own them, buy them as gifts! Or you can just chuck me a few quid to paypal.me/theamethystangel

Or if you live near Hereford, pop to my new shop and buy some cards. Would love to see you! My insta is @wishyouwerehere.store

So that was a bit of a rambling info dump, but hey, welcome back to my blog! There may or may not be another new post soon.

Just in case no one has told you this recently. Xx

NaNoWriMo 2022

It’s been a long time since I did NaNoWriMo properly, or have actually won it. But considering all the books waiting for me to write them, I figured it was about time.

So I’ve done it. I’ve signed up to NaNo 2022, and I plan to get book 11 written by the 30th November. It’s day one, I’ve written 1242 words, it is riddled with typos and other issues, but it has begun.

I feel it is likely I will regret announcing this, but seeing as I said book 11 was ‘coming soon’ about 18 months ago, I know I owe it to my readers to get my butt into gear and get it written. Because the story is ready.

Even if I’m not!

Wish me luck. And send me snacks!

Hang on to your hats

So three years ago, I filmed and released the episode below of Season 2 EarthAngelTV, about how we were ‘reality hopping’ and how a circle of friends and I had set the intention to merge realities so that we each became whole beings again.

Well we have been doing a considerable amount of hopping again in the last couple of years, and looking back, I think we only had a few months of the single reality before it split again into a number of realities.

The shifting/hopping has increased in speed of late, with sometimes several shifts a day, and it’s quite interesting to see the effects of this, but it also causes something of a headache! So if you’ve been feeling a bit out of sorts lately, you may be feeling the effects of the many shifts, and the fragmenting of your energy.

Remember to stay grounded, being barefoot on the grass helps, as does imagining root coming out of your feet and anchoring you to the Earth.

Have you noticed the shifts? What’s your view on reality hopping?

I wrote about reality hopping in my novel, The Girl Who Loved Too Much, so if you’re interested in the concept, check it out!

Maybe I am a Seer…

The other day I started compiling a list of release dates for my books, because we were considering doing fun posts on the anniversaries of each book. Of course, I used this blog to determine most of them, because this has been a diary of sorts throughout the whole publishing journey.

That meant that I found some funny tidbits, one of which I thought I’d share, because I laughed when I read it. It was in a post called ‘Just Keep Writing‘ written in August, 2015, when I was starting to write The Twin Flame Retreat. I had decided that instead of spending so much time trying to market my books, I’d keep writing new ones instead (a realisation I’ve had many times since, still not properly implementing) and then I said this:

Also, my numbers for the Earth Angel series have changed. I am now thinking that there is likely to be thirteen books in the series in total, and if I were to stick to my current formula of publishing one Earth Angel book per year, I figure it will be 2023 before the final book is released. That is just too far away!

Seems I may have been spot on. Because there will be 13 books in total, so far there are 10 novels and the handbook, so book 11 and book 12 (handbook is book 13) will be coming out, and chances are, at this rate, they’ll be coming out next year. In 2023.

So prehaps, like Velvet, I am a Seer. Who has forgotten she can See. Which makes me wonder what else I might have predicted in this blog…

But yes, books 11 and 12 will come. And I promise there won’t be too much longer to wait. I know how frustrating it is to wait for the next book in the series, there’s a book by my favourite author in my teens that I’m still waiting for. It’s ben 22 years. And that’s far too long to wait for the conclusion of a series!

I won’t do that to you. Promise.

You made me ink!

You made me ink!

I bought my first tube of copper ink at the end of 2020, around Christmas. And I ain’t gonna lie, it has been my favourite. It finally squeezed its last the other day and I replaced it immediately, knowing I couldnt be without it.

Thought it made a funny meme, summing up my state of mind, but after posting it on its own, it just looked odd. So now I’m writing some weird long-winded explanation which is probably wholly unnecessary and ruining any kind of humour.

Ah well!

Letterpress is my favourite obsession to date, of which there have been many. I will probably post more about printing in the future, hopefully you’ll find it just as interesting as my book posts, recipes and other random ramblings!

Nothing Matters

I ran out of room in my inbox yesterday, and my clients’ emails were bouncing. So I began the mammoth task of deleting some of the eight thousand unread emails.

Several hundred deletes later, and I’d only freed up 2%. So I thought I’d tackle my sent box. I started from the oldest emails, which went back to 2008. But of course, curiosity got the better of me when I spotted one I sent to a friend titled ‘My Life’s Purpose’ so of course I had to open it! And I found the text below:

“I had been writing in my journal that I needed to know why I am here, in this time in this life. And I have to admit, I always assumed that I would find out my life’s purpose through someone else, I don’t know why. I also assumed it was something that was already set, not something we had much say in. Anyway, I read this book, Bringers of Light by Neale donald walsh (convo with god guy) and one of the things he says is: “Life in pointless, and that is Gods greatest gift” AT first the idea depressed me, if there’s no point to life, why bother with anything? But he goes on to explain that we are not assigned a purpose, we may choose one before we get here, that we’ve forgotten about, but ultimately, we CHOOSE. Which means that the only purpose we have in life is the one we choose. So it wasn’t a matter of me finding my life’s purpose, it was a matter of me CHOOSING my life’s purpose. Then of course I was thinking, oh crap, I’m useless at making big decisions! Then the other day, I was sitting outside, crocheting, and I was having conversations in my head as per usual, and in answer to the imaginary questions of what are you going to do in the future, the reply that came to me was: I am not here to drink and party, I am not here to settle down, have kids and a career, I am not here to do what would seem to be the normal thing to do. I am here for you. You are my life’s purpose, you and every other person I encounter along the way. Something i do or say to you might mean something to you, or trigger something in you that changes your life in some way. That is why I am here. And so I figure that if my life’s purpose is in every person that I meet on a daily basis, I am fulfilling my life’s purpose every single day. No matter what I do. And this, I think, is the most amazing part to me. It doesn’t matter what I do in the future, what matters is every person that I come across. I was halfway there in my thinking that I would be happy to live the rest of my life traveling from place to place, meeting new people, bringing people together and imparting whatever thoughts or wisdom I can. This is my life’s purpose. If I do all the ‘normal’ things people do, and settle down and get sucked into the illusion of every day life – work, sleep, tv, eat etc, then I wont be fulfilling my life’s purpose.”

My 24 year old self had some interesting revelations! I shared this on instagram with the photo I found in another 2008 email, this time to my mum, a selfie to show her my new haircut. I was living in New York at the time, so we emailed a lot!

2008 me

I got a few comments on the post, mostly that people resonated with the message. I guess the reason I’m sharing it here, is because this evening I watched perhaps the strangest movie I’ve ever seen – Everything Everywhere All At Once. And the message in that? Nothing Matters. Do what you want to do. Which is what Neale was saying in his book that I read in 2008.

Nothing matters. In the best way possible. The only meaning things have are the meanings we give them. You make things matter. So what matters to you? What do you choose to give meaning?

It really is up to you.

h.Art aka Herefordshire Art Week changed my life!

So I’m taking part in an open studio event again this year (did it for the first time last year) and so far it has been busy!

The first time I visited studios during h.Art week was in Sept 2019, when my friend Lu and I decided it was high time we follow some bright pink signs and have a nosey around artists’ studios.

One of the venues I visited was Berrington Press, where I met Sarah and Francesca. It was there I tried letterpress printing for the first time, and I can honestly say it was love at first clunk.

The first poster I saw printed at Berrington Press

I immediately commandeered an Adana from my dad’s antique collection, and got myself kitted out with ink and type, and it has been an obsession ever since.

I’ve now had my studio in Hereford for nearly 18 months, and have sold my printed work at fairs and in shops, as well as in my studio in The Apple Store Gallery (venue 3), and at Sacred Tree Spirit (venue 73).

Such was the obsession that my last novel for adults, The Girl Who Loved Much, had a letterpress theme, and the cover was a photograph I took of my own printing blocks in my studio. I also did a limited edition print run of extras to go with the book.

I have had many, many hobbies in my life, but I can honestly say that I feel that printing was what I was looking for all along. It helps that the printing community on Instagram and in the British Printing Society are the loveliest people I have ever known!

So if you’re local, do check out h.Art, and if you’re a reader wondering why I haven’t written so many books lately, this is one of the reasons why!

A Long Pause

I’ve had quite a long break from blogging regularly. There have been a myriad of reasons, work, relationships, moving home, etc.

At first it was nice to have a break, then after a while, I missed it. But it seemed too difficult to get back into the habit, as so many other things had taken its place.

It also felt impossible to try and catch you up on the many happenings of the last 4 years, I just didn’t know where to start.

So I’ve decided not to try to. I will just start again from where I am.

I’ve been reading a book called Do/Pause – You are not a to-do list by Robert Poynton. It seems perhaps I needed this long pause from blogging. For what reason, I may never know. But from now on I hope to write more regularly, though I’m warning you now, my posts will likely be riddled with typos, as I am now blogging through the app on my phone and my autocorrect hates me quite passionately.

So hello there, thank you for reading this, I hope to see you again very soon.

The Magical Mermaid Portal

So happy and excited to reveal the cover for my newest book, The Magical Mermaid Portal! Here it is! It will be available in paperback, hardback and Kindle on the 20th July, 2022. I will get the pre-order online as soon as possible, and am planning a special pre-order of signed copies (signed by me and illustrator Lucja Fratczak-Kay) with a little gift, so do keep an eye out for that announcement!

Here is the full cover!

I really can’t wait to get this book out! I will be releasing some excerpts on videos on Instagram over the next couple of weeks, will reveal a few more details about it. Though the reading age is aimed at 8-12, this story really is perfect for all ages. Fans of The Magical Faerie Door range from age 6 to 66!

What do you think of the cover? Are you excited? Let me know!

You can also now get The Magical Faerie Door in paperback as well as in hardback and on kindle.

The Magical Doorway Series is published by Amber Beetle Press, an imprint of Not From This Planet