Mark Simpson's Blog, page 11
January 7, 2020
Psycho Somatic
On New Year’s Day I rewatched Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho. As you do. Released in 1960, Hitchcock’s low-budget, shockingly deviant, uber-Freudian masterpiece is sixty years old this year. Pensionable, almost. In a worrying development, suggesting I may be due early retirement myself, I discovered that I’d completely forgotten how fit Marion’s boyfriend Sam is, played by [...]
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November 20, 2019
Midway to Paradise (So Near, Yet So Far Away)
Mark Simpson finds Midway ‘dumb, numb and empty of cum‘ When I went to see Roland Emmerich’s teensploitation flick Midway this week I had low expectations. In fact, they were so low I almost ran aground on the way to the multiplex. Emmerich, the director-writer responsible for blockbusters such as Independence Day, Stargate, and The Day After [...]
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October 12, 2019
Smart Spornowear
‘Every time I bend down I feel I’m going to bust through the seams.’ I had no idea that ‘hockey butt’ was such a pressing problem. In fact, I’d never heard of hockey butt before I saw this viral ad. Dylan discusses his ‘big butt’ But it’s my new favourite word for big round muscle [...]
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smart Spornowear
‘Every time I bend down I feel I’m going to bust through the seams.’ I had no idea that ‘hockey butt’ was such a pressing problem. In fact, I’d never heard of hockey butt before I saw this viral ad. Dylan diicusses his ‘big butt’ But it’s my new favourite word for big round muscle [...]
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September 29, 2019
Forbidden Nights Leave Ladies Short-Dicked
Went to see male strip troupe Forbidden Nights at a theatre in North East England this week – I’m a sucker for a bit of culture, me. And who could resist an evening billed as a ‘spectacle of desires, passion and excitement’ filled with ‘acrobats, fire acts, aerial artists and world-renowned circus performers’? Especially when [...]
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July 30, 2019
Top Gun Reloaded
Maverick is back. Though of course he never went away. Since he appeared in that film back in 1986, making him one of Hollywood’s biggest box office draws, Tom Cruise remained forever Maverick for the next three decades or so. Captured like a Mayfly in director Tony Scott’s amber filters, frozen with that boyish grin [...]
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July 29, 2019
Drunken Sodomy
‘Beer before wine makes you feel fine, wine before beer makes you feel queer.’ That old drinking adage may now finally have to be officially amended to wine and beer – and anything else alcoholic – in any order, make you feel queer. A recent study published in The Journal of Social Psychology claimed to [...]
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Drunken sodomy
‘Beer before wine makes you feel fine, wine before beer makes you feel queer.’ That old drinking adage may now finally have to be officially amended to wine and beer – and anything else alcoholic – in any order, make you feel queer. A recent study published in The Journal of Social Psychology claimed to [...]
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May 18, 2019
Danish spornosexuality
According to a recent article on male image from DR, the Danish version of the BBC, ‘From Hippie to Sex Symbol‘, the 21st Century belongs to my Rocky Horror-esque creations – the Metrosexual (‘metroseksuelle’) and the Spornosexual (‘spornosexsuelle’). Although I might quibble with some of the things the article says – at least as filtered [...]
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May 3, 2019
Hold the Baby Gravy: KFC’s Indigestible Chickendales Ad
Colonel Sanders has really upped his abs game. In a new Mother’s Day-themed KFC ad he leads a selection of prime succulents: stripped, battered and deep-fried, covered in MILFy sauciness – just begging to be eaten. ‘I LOVE you mom!’ So many baskets and buns – so little time. OK, it’s fingerlickingly awful. Mind you, [...]
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