Kristin van Ogtrop's Blog, page 379

One Day, Part 2: Late Twenties

Hi there, Bookies!

It was nice to see so many comments from folks who could relate to some of the book's situations. Nothing can really prepare you for the anxiety that settles in once your young hope and enthusiasm has been replaced with life and all that it throws at you. And, yes, many of us know someone like Emma, who spends what feels like an eternity trying to save someone, trying to change someone, trying to have that person be the best person he or she can be, as opposed to the "shell" that he's/she's become. What is it about us that we do that? That we ignore all the signs, we ignore warnings from friends and family, and try to see the good in someone who can be so bad?

I found more symbolism about the "yin and yang" with the fact that just as Emma starts to get her life together, Dex's life starts to fall apart. Is anyone else getting that symbolism or those signs? There was one point that really gnawed at me—the fight that Dex and Emma have, where she finally asks how she could love someone but not like him was heart-wrenching. The irony that she cared and felt so strongly about someone that she couldn't like and didn't respect. She finally saw Dex for what he had become and not what she wanted him to be.

Dex treated everyone like garbage—including Emma—yet he tried desperately to hold on to her. Am I giving Dex too much credit in thinking that he actually experienced some heartbreak by watching her walk away?

Let me know what you're thinking. Next Monday, it's Part 3, Early Thirties.

—Danielle

Are you reading this via an e-mail or RSS feed? If you wish to comment, please click here.

Need Inspiration to Make That Final Chop?

From Twiggy to Emma Watson (the Harry Potter starlet with an infamous curly mane), the pixie cut came, went, and made its way back. It's quite the style statement, but from what I've seen it seems to look great on every woman who has tried it—Hollywood or not.

 

I sat down with the man behind Emma Watson's cut to find out why this look works, who it's good for, and how to keep it looking great.

 

 

Rodney Cutler, who is originally from Australia, has a long history in the hair industry. After starting his career at Bumble and Bumble, he went on to work for Redken and now owns self-titled salons in New York and Miami. He has most recently styled and cut Rachel Ray, Fergie, and (of course) Emma Watson, with her epic transformation. I asked about this fabulous haircut and why women should follow suit.

 

Real Simple: What do you love about a short hair on a woman?

Rodney Cutler: Short hair is really liberating and it shows a confidence in a woman. It's defining. The perception you get when you look at woman with this cut is confidence and style. Shorter hair can sometimes be softer and it depends on how it done. It's all about timing, it can reinvent a person.

 

RS: How can a pixie cut look good on different face shapes and hair textures? What makes the cut so versatile?

RC: It's all about customization. For a square jaw make it curvy on the front. For a round face give it softness and make the hair less bubbly so it doesn't mimic the shape of the face. For a narrow face add more width around the ear. There is a lot you can do to make it work for you.

 

RS: If a woman wants to go short, but she isn't sure how short to go and may not be prepared to go for a pixie cut, what do you advise? 

RC: There is a lot in between. When you're making a change, the point is to find your comfort zone. Everyone's perception of short is different. How far can we stretch this level?  Then we can go, okay, this is how the shape is going to change. The best way is to bring in multiple pictures of haircuts you like. This will insure that you and your hairstylist have the same visual understanding.

 

RS: With a shorter style, how often should a woman get it cut to keep it trimmed and tamed?

RC: To keep it the exact same, two to three weeks. Although, if you go five to six weeks there is that little phase where it changes and you tap into a different look. Don't feel like it has to look the same every day. Let it go through periods. If you don't have time to get it cut, go three or four weeks and it becomes a very likable look. It's a nice phase. 

 

RS: Are there particular products that you love that to use to style shorter hair?

RC: You want to give hair movement and let it breathe a little bit. Our own Cutler Fly Away Control Stick is lightweight paste that comes in a deodorant-like stick. It will give you pieces, separation, and some shininess to the hair. If you want a textured, polished, and groomed Halle Berry-esque look, try Redken's Structure Wax. My best advice is to play around with it to get your perfect hairstyle.

 

 

                                                

 

    To buy: $23, Dermstore.com                                              To buy: $17.85, Beauty-mart.com

 

What length is your hair? Do you keep it short or long? Tell me about your short (or long) comfort zone!

Weekend Project: Etching My Glass Soap Dispenser

In hopes of providing a little inspiration for any weekend projects you might be tackling, I wanted to share one I did a few months ago with you.

 

I have these lovely soap dispensers that I use for both dish soap and hand soap. They originally held Cucina hand soap (one of them still does), which is some of the best smelling hand soap ever.

 

 

I decided to etch the words "dish" and "hand" on the containers so that we could tell them apart when they are both eventually filled with clear soaps.

 

To do this, I needed a few things:

 

the words I wanted to use printed out
an x-acto or utility knife
contact paper
a cutting mat
etching cream
a paintbrush
and a pencil

 

 

The first step was creating a paper stencil to make the contact paper stencil from.

 

 

Then I used the paper stencil to create the contact paper stencil that I could stick directly on to the glass container.

 

 

Once I cut out the letters from the contact paper I applied it to the soap dispenser.

 

 

*A hint on the step above. Make sure your contact paper is completely smooth around the letters. I should have used a bone folder to make sure it was perfect. That way none of the etching cream can seep through.

 

Time to etch!

 

 

Once you've applied a thick layer, it's time to wait. Supposedly, you can wait as little as 5 minutes. But when I did my last etching project, the lines were two faint, so this time I left it on for 15 minutes.

 

 

After 15 minutes, simply rinse off the cream and remove the stencil .Here's how mine turned out:

 

 

As you can tell, it's hard (at least given my rudimentary skills) to photograph etched glass. But you can see the final result pretty well. I'm pleased with how this one turned out, and the "hand" soap dispenser will be even better.

 

Do you have any projects planned for the weekend? I'd love to know what they are.

 

 

Kick-Start Your New Year: Wash Your Hats, Scarves, & Gloves

Hats, scarves, and gloves have likely been in heavy rotation for the past couple of months. (Those of you in warm climates, try not to rub it in.) And this weekend is the perfect time to pop them in the laundry.

 

 

Hats and scarves, because you wear them close to your face, can have makeup or oil that rubs off on them. And, well, your gloves could always stand to be washed—who knows what kind of germs you've picked up on them. So your winter accessories should be washed somewhere around 3 to 5 times per season. Including right before you put them away in the spring.

 

Follow washing instructions carefully depending on the material. Hold back a machine washable set of winter accessories in case you have to go out before your others are dry. Then you can just toss those in with your next load of towels.

 

Read this for more about when to wash winter clothes and click here to find great deals on winter staples (including the scarf in the photo above).

 

 

Are you tackling any new year's goals this weekend? Let us know what they are!

 

Follow @Real_Simple on Twitter for more. And share your tips using the hashtag #simpletip.

 

Pretty and Useful Makeup Bags, Help Me Choose One

 

My makeup area usually looks like a hurricane went through it (see example below). So I've finally decided I need to invest in a beautiful bag to put all the products that make me look put together on a daily basis. I need to take better care of those magic wands!

 

 

 

I've scoured the web for a make up bag that would be perfect for my (little) shelf and will help me not only fit my cosmetics, but organize them. Help me choose from my top choices!

 

These are my 3 favorites:

 

If I want to splurge, I've fallen in love with the stylish gold and white strips and the mini-bags. This Trina bag would match the other bags I have and would help declutter my shelf, while creating easy storage.

 

To buy: $70, ThePicketfence.com

 

 

If I want to be practical, this Target brand bag will not only fit everything inside the large bag but it also includes the airport size friendly tubes. Perfect for a last minute getaway!

 

To buy: $24,

 

If I want to be eco-friendly and chic, this Ecotools hemp cosmetic bag has a beautiful floral design and the smaller bags on the inside also pop out. Simple, useful and pretty to look at!

To buy: $15.99, Drugstore.com

 

Which one should I choose? What do you use to hold your make-up products? Please share your solutions!

 

 

The February Book Poll Is Open



And an interesting one it is. Hi, Bookies!

For her debut next month as book club leader, Maggie Shi, a deputy editor and food blogger here on RS.com, offers for your consideration two works of nonfiction, one of fiction, and one book that lies somewhere in between. Vote below for your favorite by 11:59 p.m. EST on Sunday, January 23.

Half Broke Horses, by Jeannette Walls

The follow-up to Walls' best-selling memoir, The Glass Castle, is a novelistic re-creation of the amazing life of her intrepid, indomitable grandmother.

Born Round, by Frank Bruni

Candid, sweetly sad, and hilarious, Bruni writes of his life as a chronic overeater, serial dieter, and lover/hater of food who finds professional success as—ironically—a restaurant critic.

Enduring Love, by Ian McEwan

The great McEwan, author of Atonement and other modern classics, crafts a tricky tale of love and obsession.

Closing the Food Gap, by Mark Winne

In a country as rich in resources as the United States, a shocking number of its citizens go hungry. Why? Winne, the former head of a nonprofit agency that deals with food and hunger issues, offers an insider's take on the failings of America's food system.

What Should We Read in February?online surveys

Supermarket Sarah

I wrote about an amazing online vintage shop based in London called Supermarket Sarah nearly a year ago on decor8 but I continue to be impressed by her clever things. Would you like to see why? Well founder/shop keeper Sarah Bagner lives near the great markets of Portobello Road where she scours for treasures to put in her online store and she has a rather interesting concept... She styles walls in her home and photographs them to put on her site. Magnificient, right!? Here are some exampes...

As the shopper, you simply click on her various "themed" walls and purchase what you see -- each item is one-of-a-kind and fixed price so you don't have a ton of time to think things over either. If you like it, grab it! Just like shopping at a real flea market.

About Sarah, at least when I wrote about her last year her bio said, "Sarah decided to leave the corporate world behind her and has set up shop in her own home. Her home, round the corner from Portobello Market where she has a stall, is now overflowing with treasures and delights and she welcomes visitors with tea and cakes."

Now, read her bio today. Wow! "

Sarah's "walls" started in her living room but have now spread into public spaces; galleries, shop fronts, bars, receptions and most recently Sarah curated a 30ft high wall at Selfridges London Concept Store. The walls have taken on collaborative formats and so far Sarah has worked with brilliant designers including Fred Butler, Patternity, Donna Wilson, Tatty Devine and many more, forming a super network of young talent. Supermarket Sarah has become the place to go for inspirational delights and is regularly featured in media across the board from Style Bubble to the BBC news."

From January 2011 Supermarket Sarah will be launching her super range of items in Selfridges London, on the ground floor, too. She's grown to be quite popular in the past year...

(images: supermarket sarah)

Financial Regrets of a Stay-At-Home Mom

 

In an article in Salon this week, Minnesota journalist Katy Read writes about her decision to become a stay-at-home mom for 14 years after her children were born. She has serious regrets -- namely, financial ones  -- following a recent divorce. The headline reads: "I opted out...now I'm broke." Although she freelanced, her 14-year resume gap is a giant hurdle in finding a new job.  "Now I lie awake at 3 a.m., terrified that as a result I am permanently financially screwed," she writes, urging new moms not to make the same choice. "This is not a plea for sympathy. More like a warning from the front lines."

I was struck by the story because my oldest child was born a year after hers. I took 12 weeks of maternity leave and went right back to work full-time. I worked the night shift (1am to 9am) as a television producer of a morning news program, so we got by with a part-time nanny for a while. Then she disappeared, and my husband went part-time. I had another baby 2-1/2 years later and again went right back to work (this time taking an extra month unpaid for a total of 16 weeks). I stayed full-time for another two years before the company laid me off with hundreds of others following a merger.

The generous severance gave me just enough support to start my own business, and I continued to work full-time but with a great deal of flexibility (and often in pajamas). Some weeks I worked 90 hours (there were a couple bouts of carpal tunnel), and some 20 hours, but over the next decade I doubled (and one year tripled) the salary I had left at my television job. My husband was completely supportive and continued a reduced schedule for a year or two before ramping his work back up, which was not easy. (The truth about having children is you either find Mary Poppins, have a family member living with you, or someone's career suffers.)

 

My third was born in 2002. I did a lot of shifts between 2am to 6am so I could work uninterrupted, and patched together a string of part-time sitters. The period before they were all in school full-time was incredibly stressful, and I think if I could do it differently, I might have hired full-time help and saved less for retirement and college, or even taken on a little debt.

 

I would have enjoyed their toddler years a little more, and it probably would have been a easier on my marriage, which thankfully endured through that lap of the marathon. (Both my husband and I are Catholic, and the divorce rate among practicing Catholics is just 23 percent, according to the General Social Survey. Irish Catholics learn early about bearing their crosses with humor, or as a friend of mine likes to say, Catholics know how to suck it up.)

The good news is, it got better. A decade after my first daughter was born, all three were in school full-time. There are still the organizational demands of school conferences, enrichment activities and doctors appointments, and the demands of household management. (And don't get me started on the summer camp juggle.) But I hired a college student during the school year to come several days from 3-6pm to help out with the driving, and all of us, kids included, cook, clean and do laundry. When my husband has a huge job or I do, we cover each other. When we're both under the gun, we do the best we can.

That would be my message to Read: You did your best with the information you had at the time, you were true to yourself, so no regrets. Don't be afraid. Step into the void, and have faith in yourself and your decisions. Continue to do and say what is authentic and true, do your best, and the money will come. This is the uphill lap in the marathon, but it will get better. You and your kids will figure out how to pay for college. And there are a million creative ways to get the life you want without a lot of money.

Do you have advice for Read or others about the decision to work or stay home with children?

Dept. of Bad Manners: My Dog on a Plane

I'd like to apologize to anyone who sat near me in Rows 16 or 17 last week. You know who you are. You are the ones who heard my little dog, Sticky, yip and moan and wheeze theatrically. For six hours. All the way from New York to California. And back.

Come to think of it, Row 18 had it pretty bad too.

I started having flashbacks, halfway through, to the time in 1989 when I made the mistake of traveling with a (human) baby. The infant in question spent much of the trip sobbing, and the rest of the time she mashed peas into the hair of a sleeping passenger in the row in front of us. (This was when airlines still served meals, and peas.) I vowed never again.

But I thought traveling with Sticky would be easier. She's a dog, after all, and the vet said you can drug a dog. I did a dry run, giving Sticky a dose of Benadryl a few days before traveling. She slept all afternoon on the couch.

On the day we flew, however, Sticky remained painfully alert and whiny and freaked out. Picture your most neurotic, most afraid-of-flying friend locked up in a crate under a seat.

Passengers kept hitting the Call button to complain to the flight attendants. 

I spent six hours with my hand in the crate, petting her, as I whispered, "It's OK, Sticky. Shh, it's OK."

Sticky has some good qualities (loyal, cute ears). So instead of strangling her with my bare hands as soon as I got off the plane, I took her to a vet in California.

"I'm terrified," I told him. "I have to fly back in six days."

"She looks relaxed now," the vet said.

He's a real cut up.

Then he said she could have a dog version of Valium. I did a dry run. She was blissed out for an entire day, napping in the sun on the front porch.

On the flight East, however, Sticky reprised the bad behavior—with a twist. She had the munchies, and I had to feed her an entire Italian sandwich, bite by bite, through a tiny hole in the crate. After she sharked that down, I turned in desperation to a mini-cereal box of Cheerios, which I fed her one by one. In between Cheerios, she yipped.

I'm home now, and nearly a week later am starting to feel a little better. Sticky looks relaxed.

Have you ever taken a dog on an airplane? Or had to sit near one? What would you have done differently? And if you were on my flight, have you forgiven me?

(Photo of Sticky in happier times, courtesy of Quittner family archives)

 

Emerging Organizing Products

One of the great contradictions about my life and career is that to be able to help people unclutter and organize their lives, I have to spend a lot of my time researching and learning about products. There are months when I visit The Container Store five or more times, and every day I'm "shopping" online. I help others eschew extraneous possessions, but spend my time focused on physical stuff.



One of the sites I regularly visit is Quirky. This site works with independent inventors and product developers to crowd-source ideas that may eventually lead to real items on store shelves. A product is put up for public review, and if it gets enough support, it will actually be made. You can learn more about Quirky on their FAQ page.



I check the site to see what useless trinkets are headed for stores. Every now and again, however, an actual useful idea pops up and impresses me. This weeks was one of those rare times when I was impressed by a future product: The Style File Closet Clothing Organizer. It's presale price is $12.95, and it needs 1250 committed buyers to move into production.

Style File is a closet storage solution that instantly creates garment shelves in any open space. Gone are the days of toppling your whole stack of clothes when you want to pluck something from the bottom of your pile. Style File gives you easy access!

I think you could easily repurpose office supplies to do a similar function, but they're usually more expensive than $13. I liked this idea and thought it would be fun to share with you.