Kristin van Ogtrop's Blog, page 378
January 13, 2011
How to Say "I Don't" (Want to Be in Your Wedding)
My own wedding was perfect. Of course, we ran out of quiche halfway through the reception, and come to think of it, some relatives got into loud fights...and half the guests missed the ceremony because they were in a traffic jam on the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway.
Luckily, I wasn't aware of any glitches at the time. How would I be? I was a bride, floating around the room in a Glenda the Good Witch dress while everybody hugged and congratulated me and said I looked beautiful. I bring up this story because lately I've been hearing from readers who are worried about wedding etiquette.
Of course you are. A wedding is our culture's most portentous social occasion, the one fraught with the most emotion, and there's always a higher risk of offending when sentiment runs high. So I understand why readers like Hatton2be are agonizing over whether it's rude to invite shower guests who won't be asked to the wedding and why Trillian72 worries it could be a mortal offense to RSVP "no" to a ceremony after verbally promising to attend.
The details seem so important—before the wedding. But on the big day? What I remember is looking at my husband, after it was all over, and how we both blurted out simultaneously, "Getting married was a great idea!"
What matters, in the end, is marrying the right person, for the right reasons. The rest is a momentary distraction.
With that in mind, the way to navigate past social pitfalls is with honesty and heart-felt declarations about your warm feelings. Yes, Hatton2be, you can invite shower guests who won't be at your intimate "destination wedding." Just explain, ahead of time, the reason you chose to have a 30-guest, out-of-town ceremony—and emphasize that a shower will be an opportunity to share your joy with a wider circle. And Trillian72, you need to say, as soon as possible, that while an unforeseen schedule conflict will make it impossible for you to attend, you are looking forward to seeing the wedding photos. (And send a gift early.)
A slightly trickier dilemma is one that JoAnn793 wrote to describe:
I have been a bridesmaid more times than I want to remember. Now well, well into my 40's and still single (never been married), I have decided that my bridesmaid days are over. Or are they? I heard recently that a younger (no less) family member is thinking of asking me to be in her bridal party. I'm still licking my wounds from my last bridesmaid experience. Even though I appear to be an independent, confident and happy single person, who I basically am, I also long to be a bride and be married, and it hurts to be so closely involved in other people's weddings. How do I graciously decline a request to be a bridesmaid without hurting the bride's feelings? I want to be as honest as I can about the reasons.
You can handle this fine, JoAnn793. While I would never turn down an offer to be a bridesmaid -- frankly, I think I look pretty good in lime-colored taffeta -- it is not a command performance.
The reason hardly anyone ever says no is because being asked is an honor that's typically not offered lightly. It usually means the bride considers you a core part of her new life. But if she is close enough to ask you, you should feel close enough to her to explain your reasons for refusing, especially since it has nothing to do with her and everything to do with you. Emphasize how excited you are for her, and how much you look forward to sharing her happiness...just not as someone who has to walk down the aisle on public display.
So, what do you think? Can you suggest other ways for Hatton2be, Trillian72 and JoAnn793 to handle these situations? And... have you ever turned down a chance to be a bridesmaid?
(image courtesy of Digital Sextant, via flickr)
January 12, 2011
Which Do You Prefer to Write With: Pens or Pencils?
Ever since we were allowed to make the switch in late grade school from pencil to pen for our homework, I've stuck almost exclusively with pens. But lately there are some things that are just better in pencil (like my ever-morphing to-do list.)
So, because I'm an office supply addict, I started a search for pretty pencils to have on my desk (and a few new pretty pens for good measure).
Pencils
See Jane Work Basics Pencils, $7 for 12 pencils
Stay Classy Silver Pencils from Earmark on Etsy, $6 for 6 pencils
(I would love it if Earmark did custom orders. These pencils would be even better in gold. Check out the rest of the shop for equally fantastic engraved pencils.)
Pencil Tips from Schooled, $5 for 5 pencils
(Perfect for any graphic designers you know!)
Iomoi Solid Pencils, $12 for 14 pencils (These also come in bright pink, orange, yellow, sky blue, navy, kelly green, pale pink, grey, black, and gold.)
Pencil Set from Russell + Hazel, $35 for the leather case and 4 bejeweled pencils (Also comes in black and gold.)
And now for the pens:
Iomoi Gold Pens in Zig Zag and Bamboo, $20 for 14 pens (choose between the patterns)
Seven Year Pen from See Jane Work, $8 each (They have enough ink inside to last for seven years, hence the name.)
Le Pens from See Jane Work, $20 for 8 pens in assorted colors. (You can also buy individual colors from Paper Source.)
Don't forget to tell me in the comments below which you prefer: pens or pencils. And a little bonus: Try this activity to see what your handwriting says about you!
Totally Cute Tote Bags!
Confession: I'm obsessed with tote bags. I have between 12 to 15. Eek!
There, I said it. Not that it's something to be ashamed of. However, I do admit it's a bit excessive. But, I see my tote bags as yet another way to express my individuality (there are so many styles/designs to choose from). Plus, they are a perfect example of "function meets fashion."
I love that tote bags aren't just for the gym, library and grocery shopping anymore. Obviously, these are still amazing places to use them...but I'm noticing more "serious" styles popping up that are made with materials like leather and wool. In fact, the bag I have been carrying to work on the weekend is just that...leather, wool and all-around fabulous!
It's made by Graf & Lantz...What do you think? Chic, right?
Here are some more totes I have my eye on (the collection continues)...
These simple cotton totes are super fun and personalized by "hood!" Find your city/town and start representing in a very fashionable way.
Timeless, chic and made in the USA...all amazing reasons to invest.
Don't you love these whimsical bags that turn objects and things into letters? Here are my initials...
This is deemed the "Homework" bag-- and it's so cute, bringing work home never looked so good!
These bags have been the talk of town since the Brooklyn company's beginning in 1990--and they come in an array of vibrant colors!
Happy toting!
Kick-Start Your New Year: Perfect Your Posture
Not to sound like your mother, but today we're gently reminding you to sit up straight. Not only will it benefit you in the long run, but you'll feel better (and look slimmer) all day long.
Here's how to adjust your desk to help with your posture:
Sit in your chair with your back pressed against the chair back. Place your feet flat on the floor and look at your computer monitor. Your eyes should be level with the center of the screen. If they aren't adjust the monitor until they are. If you can't change your monitor height stack large books or reams of computer paper underneath until it reaches the proper height.
Follow @Real_Simple on Twitter for more. And share your tips using the hashtag #simpletip.
Related:
15 Minutes to Better Posture
6 Ways to Avoid Bad Posture
I Tried It: iPosture "No Slumping" Gadget
January 11, 2011
Roasted Salmon and Potatoes With Dill for Dinner
I had a bunch of leftover dill in the fridge, so I decided to follow through on one of my New Year's resolutions and make Roasted Salmon and Potatoes With Dill—a simple yet tasty-looking recipe. I stopped by the farmers' market to stock up on potatoes (I bought Red Thumb potatoes, which are sort of like a red-skinned version of fingerling potatoes), then grabbed some wild salmon from the market.
The prep for this recipe was almost too easy—I just cut up the potatoes, smashed some garlic, and tossed it all on a baking sheet with olive oil, salt, and pepper (I made sure to line the pan with aluminum foil to make cleanup much easier). After the potatoes spent some time in the oven, I put the salmon fillets on the same baking sheet, since I was halving the recipe and had room to spare. The salmon cooked beautifully without overcooking—there's nothing I hate more than dry, overdone fish—and the potatoes turned out crisp on the outside, tender on the inside. The garlic was a great touch; it turned golden brown and crispy and added a wonderfully pungent bite to the dish.
I always like to serve something green with every meal, so I had bought some asparagus (out of season—I know, terrible, but I really had an asparagus craving) and tossed it on another baking sheet with some olive oil, salt, and pepper. I happened to have some leftover grated Parmesan so I threw that on top, then popped it into the oven with the salmon and potatoes for about 15 minutes.
This is pretty much my ideal meal—some starch, a healthy protein loaded with good fats (salmon is one of my favorite things to cook and eat), and some lovely green vegetables. Everything roasted together in the oven, so it was a cinch to make, and lining the baking sheets with foil made cleaning up a breeze, too. I chopped up some of that dill and sprinkled it on top for the final touch. Delicious!
What's your incredibly easy yet tasty go-to meal?
Kick-Start Your New Year: Take Time to Plan Your Meals
Dinnertime can be a bit of a scramble, but planning out your meals in advance can cut down on the craziness and make getting food on the table manageable.
Start by filling our our easy weekday meal planner and hitting up the grocery store. Dividing the ingredients you need to buy by section, means you're less likely to miss something and have to backtrack before the checkout line.
What's your meal planning strategy? Share in the comments below or by following @Real_Simple on Twitter and using the hashtag #simpletip.
Related
6 Ways to Save on Groceries
30 No-Fail Chicken Dinners
Pantry Staples Checklist
Methods for Organizing Children's Toys
My 18-month-old son's toys are currently residing in our living room. We are rearranging all of the bedrooms in our home, so everything except for his crib has been moved into our main living space. Seeing his toys heaped into a giant pile has made me realize that we already need to unclutter his collection. He has toys he hasn't touched in months, and he has a new cousin who would love to play with them.
I've also noticed that my son has difficulty recognizing his toys when they're in a giant pile. He simply sees a mound of stuff, not dozens of individual toys. This is normal for children at his age, and even some adults. The aphorism related to this that you commonly hear is: "He can't see the forest for the trees."
Although traditional toy boxes are great for storing toys when not in use, they're not necessarily developmentally appropriate for children. Additionally, little pieces of toys (like doll shoes and Lego bricks) fall to the bottom of the container, never to be touched again.
Instead, it's better for toy storage containers to be smaller and dedicated by type of toy and/or activity. All dress-up clothes can be in one container if your child has just a few, or you can separate shoes, hats, and clothes into three containers if there are many. Label each storage container with the word describing what is in the box ("Costumes," "Train Engines," "Coloring Crayons and Books") and an image of the toys if your child is still developing language skills.
Also, be sure that all toys are accessible for your child so she can get them out and put them away without assistance. Let your child know that playtime isn't over until all toys have been returned to their storage container.
One storage solution: Ikea has a two-level Expedit bookcase (put it on its side, instead of vertically) for $70 that can attach to the wall and hold eight storage boxes.
How do you organize your child's toys? Share your methods in the comments.
Pros and Cons of Hiring an Upholsterer
A couple years ago I purchased a side chair for my living room that I absolutely loved. I was most excited to have found the chair on Craig's List with a very wallet-friendly price tag. It's been almost two years and that side chair has become permanent fixture underneath my husband. His daily plopping has caused the colorful detailing to fade and the cream background to turn a dingy gray color. The structure of the chair is still great, so I'm now contemplating having it reupholstered. Since I got such a great break on the price when I first purchased it, I'm not as reluctant to spend the money to have it redone. I'm going back and forth on whether or not reupholstering this chair is worth it. So far here's my pro and cons list:
Pros:
There are endless customization options when re-upholstering.
Custom upholstery is typically better quality than mass produced pieces.
Having a one-of-a-kind item is much nicer than purchasing something that someone else may have.
Many upholsterers will pick up and deliver pieces for free, saving money in the end.
The most expensive elements of reupholstering are fabric and labor. Having the option to purchase my own fabric can help save a great deal.
Cons:
Upholsterers can be very pricey.
Sending a chair off to be redone means a temporary void in my living room decor.
There is always a chance that what is envisioned is not what I will get in the end.
The busiest times of year for upholsterers are before and after Christmas, followed by springtime. I will have to wait until the summer before checking this project off of my to-do list.
What has your experience been. Have you hired an upholsterer? Was it a better investment that just buying a new item?
January 10, 2011
Kick-Start Your New Year: Ditch Your Junk Mail
One easy way to be more organized is to bring less clutter into your home. Take the first step today by getting off all those pesky junk mail lists.
Visit optoutprescreen.com to stop receiving pre-approved credit card offers.
And catalogchoice.org to cut down on the number of catalogs you get.
For that junk mail that you can't eliminate, install a recycling bin in your entry way so it can go directly in, and won't sit around on your desk for weeks.
How do you keep junk mail at bay? Share your ideas in the comments or follow @Real_Simple on Twitter and use the hashtag #simpletip.
Related:
25 Easy Ways to Help Save the Planet
5 Rules For Working From Home
4 Super-Organized Women Share Their Secrets
Editor's Pick: The Style Checklist, by Lloyd Boston
Happy New Year, fashionistas and friends!
'Tis the season for recharging, restarting and those good ol' resolutions. So while you're listing all of those amazing self-improvement goals like losing weight and being better about reaching out to friends/loved ones...don't forget to add one about style! Yes...style.
I'm not saying you need to resolve to shop more, but I am suggesting that you think more about your personal style and looking your best. Each year I try to make a style resolution like:"I resolve to purge all the ill-fitting clothes in my closet," "I resolve to find and wear the right type of bras/undergarments," or "I resolve to only invest in classic pieces and stop spending money on fleeting trends."
With that said, we'll need some help along this more stylish path and I can think of no better person than the brilliant Lloyd Boston, aka your BFF ("Best Friend in Fashion").
From the Today Show to Oprah, Boston has been inspiring women everywhere to cultivate their individual style. But beyond his countless TV appearances and his own show, "Closet Cases" on HGTV, Boston has authored four style books. His most recent, "The Style Checklist: The Ultimate Wardrobe Essentials for You," is my current obsession. (Yes—even fashion editors need expert guidance!)
The book outlines the key wardrobe pieces that will keep you in style, no matter the decade or occasion. Boston dispels the notion of "the more clothing you have, the better off you are." He unveils a defined checklist of clothing and accessory must-haves that will make each and every woman's closet a personal style treasure chest.
Here's a small sampling of the gems you'll find throughout the book:
- Why the black skirt is the key wardrobe piece that "grows you up," and how to determine the best silhouette for your body type.
-How to choose a good-quality, statement handbag without spending beyond your budget.
- What a woman's eyewear says about her and the five rules to follow when selecting a new pair.
-Why the white button-down shirt is the best fashion leveling device ever, how to select the right one AND how to care for it so the blouse remains white.
Happy style resolving!
