Jude Stringfellow's Blog, page 87

Remind The Devil of His Future

 I love the meme I saw once that said "When Satan reminds you of your past, remind him of his future."  Think about it, we're human, we collide with disaster all the time. Even when we're trying our best to be good and behave ourselves we find that we just fall short of the mark that we often set for ourselves. We're the worst enemies we can have really; we're harder on us than most are.  I don't know exactly why that is, or why we think we're supposed to be so perfect just because we're saved by Grace. I mean,  HELLO, we're saved by GRACE! We are just not that wonderful by ourselves. (Contrary to what we tell ourselves about ourselves. We know the truth.)

    So, you woke up one morning expecting to have a really good day. You walked down the street with a big smile on your face, maybe your guitar on your side, your shoes were clean, you had your hair all clean and smooth. Nothing was out of place. You get to your destination, all goes well. You sing, you play, you have fun, you meet up with friends, and nothing could make the day seem dim because it's CHRISTMAS season! (Well, it's September, but you're filming for Christmas programs early so the editing can be done, but yeah, it's Christmas.) All the colors, all the lights, even the moving robotic reindeer make you giggle just a little because the fake snow is sooooo fake, but so very wonderful. You are so happy. Right up to the moment when you aren't.  Remember that?

    Maybe you took the same path home. Maybe you skipped calling because you were closer than you thought, and you couldn't wait to get home and share your experience with someone you love and care about only - - they aren't as excited about you being home as you are. Maybe they didn't really expect you so soon; maybe, just maybe they had a...well, a guest.  Suddenly, because you hurt so deeply, you can't even remember why the day seemed so perfect before. All of the lights dim. All of the snow melts. All of the friends simply don't matter and you know what, you think maybe now none of it matters. Fuck it. (Sorry, not sorry) You try to negotiate in your mind telling yourself that you didn't really see what you saw, it was just a mistake, a thing, it looked worse than....no, it was what it was, but now you're being reminded that you did it too, and you are just as much to blame as anyone and ... and...and....Satan won again.

    I can't understand it either. I hurt too. I think of things that I've seen, things I've heard, things I've done, and I know I'm nobody. I know I am absolutely NOT worthy of any of the glory I thought belonged to me and I'm patently reminded of just how sinful my own past is, so I can't go around judging others now can I? No. We don't judge. But we also don't have to take the new pain or stress with a grain of salt either. We can fight it by standing firm on what we do know is true, and that is if we are saved we are NEW creatures. ALL of the old passes away, and ALL of our backward ugly idiot sins from yesterday (yesteryear) are NO MORE. They are dead to God and our newness is covered and immersed in the Blood of Almighty God and NO NO NO NO NO it can't change, won't change, is not fake, and it's not going to have even one exception. YOU ARE NEW. Stop beating yourself up over it, and stop listening to anyone who says "You did it too", "You relapsed", or "Remember when you did this same damn thing? You can't judge me"  NO....it was dead, is dead, won't come back to life, it can't be resurrected, it is of Satan, and NOT of Christ. THEY, the people who are still sinning and hoping you'll just ignore their sin, THEY are the ones being used now by demonic powers to shut you down for your stand with Christ. 

    Count it all good. Count it all a blessing when this happens (and NO it is not easy) because they hated Jesus before they hated you. You just remind them of their sin. They see you, hear you, watch you, and they KNOW they are still deeply wrong inside themselves. You have a new spirit, they don't.  Your newness, your walk, your life for Christ, your devotion is their envy or their spite. They hate that you shine. They hate that you have a new jewel in your heart. They hate that you moved on and you are in fact being used of God. REMIND THEM that they are following Satan, and remind Satan that his end is HIS END and your beginning is your beginning. You can walk away, fly away in fact, but he will be caught, held, bound, and finally he will be thrown headlong into the Lake of Eternal Fire...with THEM if they haven't accepted Jesus.  

    Hey, they may be saved too, but they need to repent, not you. You already did that. Remember? Do you think that God only covered 94% of you? No. You are covered. You're gonna still screw up, yes you are. We do that. But we return to Him, don't we?  Gosh darn, it hurts. I know that too. I really do get it, and I really do understand the pain. TERRIBLE pain, but it's surrendered pain. Covered.  That loved one of yours likes to remind you that you're less than you are so she/he can be bigger, better, badder, more on top, and in control. Guess what, they need to be kicked to the curb they created for themselves and you can stand on the Word. You don't have to follow that line of thinking, and you don't have to worry that they'll spread stories and tell the truths about what you USED to do. Past is dead. It may be ugly, ugly, ugly, and it may even seem to be damaging beyond imagination "What will others think of me if they ONLY KNEW?"  No.  Dead.  It is gone. You get in front if it, own it, and let the world know that NEW LOOKS SO GOOD on you right now. Show them that they can be NEW too.  Maybe this wasn't exactly what happened. I don't know, but it is something that can happen to people who try to live new lives. 

    OK, that was longer than I thought it was going to be, but hey, you need to be lifted up today. You need to be held, rocked, loved, and prayed over. Know this. I know.  I pray and God tells me things through my meditation. I know... and I still love your spirit. I know that sounds or seems odd, and I don't really care because God didn't tell me these things to give me something to brag about. He gave them to me to give me something to pray about, to lift to Him, and to watch and give Him the Glory when I see that He has mended all things needing mending. Go God!  Go Go Go God!!  You'll be OK. Take a breath, eat a cookie, run a mile (because you ate the cookie) and just pet the dog. You know the dog doesn't give a damn about your past....nope.  That's why God made dogs.

Photo Credit:  Thrifty Fun

Shut Off - Shut Down (A Poem)

 Shut Off – Shut Down 

 

I look at you, I see your walls. 

So many varied bricks 

 

Layered injuries stacked inside 

Hardened over time 

 

I think I see or feel a way 

A way to guide you though it 

 

I hurt to hope and wish I knew 

A path to show your mind’s heart 

 

You don’t deserve the world today 

You’ve paid your dues in spades 

 

Each stone upon the other paves 

Protecting you from freedom 

 

If prayers were chisels – only if 

To break through would be best 

 

The sorrow bound within your eyes 

Reflects my prayers for rest 

 

Jude Stringfellow, November 26, 2021 

Photo Credit: George Hodan

The Tiger King Connection

 If you live in Oklahoma you know all about the Tiger King. You were either there when it all happened, or you were there before it all happened, but you can't get away from it now. No way.  I am absolutely no different than every other Oklahoman who has a story to tell about the now infamous wild animal breeder and convicted animal rights violator calling himself "Joe Exotic".  I have a really hard time calling him by any of his legal names really, not only because I'm really afraid I'll misspell them, but also because I don't recognize his marriage(s) as being legal and to use his new last name would be stranger still since he is now divorced from that man as well.  In the words of Dorothy Gale, "These change so quickly around here", and they do.  Let's just call the man Joe Exotic and go from there. Everyone knows who I'm talking about.

    In 2008, I moved to Gainesville, Texas to work for a studio production company that wanted to do a reality type documentary on my dog Faith.  The project later turned into a feature film, one with more fiction than truth, so I pulled out of the entire mess. When I made the decision to move out of the area I didn't want to go too far because I knew I'd be pulled in and out of court in Gainesville, so I moved just over the Red River into a semi-rural city named Ardmore. It has about 24,000 souls. Good people I might add. The City of Ardmore, Oklahoma is truly an interesting spot on your way to Dallas; about half way from Oklahoma City, and it has just about everything you need including a zoo.  Well, speaking of zoos, there was a woman in Ardmore who sold me a phone and wire service for U.S. Cellular, who just happened to be the niece of a man who recently took over the world renown wild life park known as G.W. Wildlife or something like that. The G.W. stood for the man's initials; his name was Gerald Wayne. The last name was a bit more challenging, it was Schreibvogal. (Seriously, it is.)

    I mentioned to the woman, I think her name was JoAnna, but I'm not sure, that I wanted to go to the zoo and see the animals up close. She mentioned the cost to go and I laughed.  I think it was about a week later, and she saw me in the mall where the phone store was, she told me she had a couple of free passes for me to go to the park!! What? That's awesome.  I think Caity, my wild child, was the first to volunteer to go with me, and there we went.  Wynnewood, Oklahoma is literally just a hop, skip, and a jump (maybe even just a skittle-wink) up the road from Ardmore on I-35. Boom! We were there in no time, and the weather was great. We went in through the gift shop, I think it was planned that way, and we met a couple of the zookeepers who told us as VIPs we were not to get off the paths, use cameras of any type including our phones, and we were just going to be allowed in the park for about an hour while the animals were fed. This was the type of pass we were given, and we had NO IDEA what to expect. 

    I think what I thought was that we were going to watch the keepers feed, we would be close, we would be expected to stay back a few yards, and just take it all in but that is not what happened. We held buckets of meat while the keepers dug through them, pulling out raw pieces of meat to feed. We had to help lift things, move things, push things, and really got into it for a minute. I was pretty impressed by the amount of food needed to feed all the animals of course, but not once did I feel threatened, scared, or that I was in any sort of danger. Believe me, my kid was just about 18 years old, and I would never have allowed her to be in danger.  If you know about Caity and zoos you know that there have been times I've worried for the animals, because she may get a wild hair and steal one, or maybe "steal" is too hard of a word -- she may permanently misplace one or two if she thought she could get away with it, but NO WAY would I have allowed a misplaced tiger, lion, cheetah, or even a full sized bobcat to find its way to my car. Not happening. Down Caity. Down!

    I know we met John Reinke because he is the man with two prosthetic legs. He was really kind. We may have met Ed Cowie the head zookeeper too.  I know we did not meet Kelsi "Saff", or Joe Exotic himself, but I remember hearing that "Joe" was on his way back from the store and would be there soon, so we needed to wrap things up.  At the time, I didn't know that Joe Exotic was the owner.  If there was drama, and I'm sure there was, I didn't know it. In 2008 I have no idea who was running the show. G.W. could have been alive at that time. I don't know. I haven't done any research on it because did it didn't matter.  It was a cool side of the road animal park that bragged about rescuing animals that would otherwise be put down for not being wild and not being tame. There wasn't a place for them. They had all been bred into captivity, but untrained. They had all been through the wringer is what we were told. Who were we to challenge the story? We just thought it was cool that the state allowed the sanctuary and we were going to be there for a minute.

    I remember a few things and over the past couple of years I tried to find the two pictures that I know my daughter took with her flip phone; even though she was told not to. I remember she took a selfie of herself with one of the chimps. I remember she took a photo of the alligators in the building that was secretly set aflame in the Tiger King docudrama. The reason she took the photo of the gators was to report the zoo for the way they were kept. I didn't want to get anyone in trouble, I remember that, but I also didn't think the encasement was safe for either the animals or the humans walking through it. Too many doors and too short of fencing. It was an accident in the making and all I could think of was some kid climbing over the fence to pet a gator - - I was actually happy Caity took that photo. But I can't find either photo now, and it's really a moot point, as the building was set ablaze and all of the gators were killed in the fire...very very sad. 

    I don't remember seeing Bone Digger and the Dachshunds because that would have made my day. I am the biggest Dachshund fan. I know that the big older lion was insecure if he didn't have at least one of his four fat weenie dogs to keep him company, it was the talk of the zoo, talk of the town really, and I remember I wanted to see it, but it was feeding time. I saw the dogs in the back of the gift shop on my way out, and I made sure to get a few kisses in; that was really probably, for me, the best part of the trip. I have never been a fan of anyone keeping wild animals caged up, but give me a few fat weenie dogs and I'm in Heaven.  Though I'm not a fan of seeing the animals in cages, I was impressed that they did do a great job giving them relatively good space to run. No, it wasn't the 400 miles of free open spaces that a giant cat deserves, but it wasn't a tiny 10x10 cage either. Each animal had a half an acre or so to roam (well, to pace). It's not ideal, and it was both sad and incredible at the same time, and something I won't forget.

    Another year went by and I moved from Ardmore, Oklahoma to Indianapolis, Indiana, and back again in 2015. I think, if I had to think hard, that I remember some of the spit-spat between the various big cat rescues being aired on television, there seemed to be a buzz about it. I just wasn't all that interested in knowing anything unless it concerned how to help the animals. That would have caught my attention.  When Saff lost her arm in the accident at the zoo I do remember my daughter saying we didn't meet her but saw her in the distance at the zoo when we had been there. Again, I couldn't tell you. Having seen her on the show now, I think maybe we did, but couldn't swear to it. Like EVERYONE else who was forced to stay home in the spring of 2020, I watched the Netflix super drama TIGER KING and couldn't keep my eyes off the set. I was glued and my jaw hit the floor with the full force of the magnitude of what was happening right before our eyes - - ON VIDEO. LIVE and UP CLOSE.

    The Tiger King put Wynnewood, Oklahoma on the map for sure! No one hears that I'm from Oklahoma now, without asking me if I've been to Wynnewood! Everyone wants to know if Joe Exotic is my next door neighbor, if I heard the tigers at night, or if I ever worked for the park. Why on this green Earth would anyone and everyone assume that because you're from Oklahoma that you're mixed up or messed up with the Tiger King? Don't they know we have football in this state?  Our own REAL zoo is world renown. The Oklahoma City Zoological Park is one of the top parks in the WORLD...G.W. was tiny and was insignificant as it was remote.  The show, and of course the owner, Joe Exotic, certainly turned things around for that tiny little dot on the map town. Yes, and yes Siree.

    Well, like most folks, I watched the Tiger King (Season One) at least a dozen times, shaking my head, but finding myself singing the songs Joe Exotic should have released. If the man had just let the whole Carole Baskin thing go, and released a few of his songs he could have been a gazillionaire. He's really a great singer (weird and bat-shit crazy, yes, but he can sing!)  If he had just let it go he would have all the world, not just the big cats, eating out of his hands. Somethings just aren't going to happen. The Tiger King is the biggest and most horrific train wreck you'll probably ever watch, but I absolutely recommend that you watch it.  Season Two is out now.  Only 5 episodes at the time of this writing, but it will be glorious to see them slap cuffs on Jeff Lowe, James Garretson, Lauren Lowe, and probably "Doc" Antle as well, as it's been proven now, or at least, I am told, that he in fact put young tigers and others down after they reached an age where they were just liabilities. Carole Baskin is herself an absolute MESSSSSSSS but her evidence is strong on most of these people and the way they (and she at one point) treated the animals.

    That's it. That's my Tiger King connection. Not a big one. I did take a minute to drive through the new zoo location in Thackerville, OK just before you hit the Red River, and it's not complete. They had to stop production on it. I somehow think the neighbors in that area couldn't be happier -- the plans Jeff Lowe had for it were to turn it into an extension of the WinStar Casino really, making it a place for Playboy Bunny types, sex games, and animals. Sounds exotic, wild, and free -- well, not free, I'm sure it would cost a pretty penny to party there. I'm thinking the tigers are better off NOT being exposed to the raw world of Jeff Lowe and company.  Maybe I'm nuts, but I sort of feel sorry for the would be hitman Allen Glover, he seems to be a true victim in this situation. He was used by Jeff, used by Joe, tossed about and thrown about due to his past and his inability to get regular work. He was smart enough to take the money Joe gave him to kill Carole Baskin, and he just left. I liked what Doc Antle said about it really.  Paraphrasing, he said you can't find a good hitman for $3000. Not one that you'd need to drive half way across the country, stake out the victim, kill her and then dispose of her body. Yeah, it would be a lot more expensive than that, but when you have meatheads like Joe Exotic and Jeff Lowe running the zoo - - things get wild.

Photo Credit:  Pin Su. Pinterest (John Reinke with Bone Digger and the dogs at G.W. Zoo)

    

Sometimes Discernment Sucks

 I'll keep this short, it is really just a message for one person. I don't know any other legitimate way to reach you other than this way; you know why.  I wanted you to know that I have been burning with a question as to why you stopped posting and what would make you stop so abruptly.  The obvious answer would be that you were physically unable to do so. You were taken away, or you were injured and couldn't reach the phone to post. That reasoning didn't set well, and I began to pray about it. I did a little recon and know now that I was right, you are actually physically capable and able to post, you just choose not to. That's fine, and I get it. It's really no one's business what's happening to you, but then again, it is.  Thousands of people follow you and thousands of people may wonder, but only a few of us will dare enough to care enough. That's a hard reality but it's a truth.  I am one of the few. I really do care. 

    I began praying and God has (through the recon and through simple deduction of reason) shown me what has probably taken place; if not the details, I at least know the culprit. I have to say, I can show you in my journal from this time last year, that I never trusted the man. I wrote it down. I do not trust M.C. I just do not. He's not (and never was) a man to be trusted. He's a poser, a pretender, a user, and in my opinion, he's not only self loving, he's deceptive as well.  To see that you no longer follow him spoke volumes. VOLUMES. I still follow him to see what he may do -- keep your enemies close they say. He is not my enemy per se, I just never liked him. Now I have another reason not to.  I will pray for him. I will of course pray for the entire situation, but Jesus understands I place you first in those prayers for wisdom, protection, and recovery of spirit.  I'm so sorry this has happened to you. 

    People will say so many things to you in order to make you "feel better" or "show you the light" and all the other dumb cliches out there, but you know what, I'm just sorry that you had to see it, had to deal with it, and that you were hurt. Your faith is strong even if you don't see it at this moment, it is. The words of the songs still mean something; sing them. Happiness is fleeting, but joy is chosen. I pray you find joy. I pray you find a means of peace soon and a path to His will.  It won't be easy it never is, but you are absolutely not alone. Please don't ever think you are. You are not. I can't reach out to you, but you are always welcome to reach out to me. You have my email. You have my IG. Know (KNOW) that you are loved and prayed over.  Something beautiful will come of this. Remember, (remember) "because He lives" you can face tomorrow. 

Photo Credit: Texas University

Even If - (Mercy Me)

 Oh, this is such a great song, and RIGHT NOW someone I know needs to read the lyrics and if he can, he needs to sing them. Please....remember, Jesus really is the answer every time.  Even if we don't see it. Praise Him anyway -- He is there.

EVEN IF -- by Mercy Me

They say sometimes you win some
Sometimes you lose some
And right now, right now I'm losing bad
I've stood on this stage night after night
Reminding the broken it'll be alright
But right now, oh right now I just can't

It's easy to sing
When there's nothing to bring me down
But what will I say
When I'm held to the flame
Like I am right now

I know You're able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone

They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
Good thing
A little faith is all I have right now
But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul

I know You're able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You'd just say the word
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone

You've been faithful, You've been good
All of my days
Jesus, I will cling to You
Come what may
‘Cause I know You're able
I know You can

I know You're able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You'd just say the word
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone

It is well with my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul

********************************************

Jesus, Thank you for the blessing who is my friend. Heal him, please. 

Photo Credit: Pavbca

Why Men Should Love Strong Women

 I say it all the time to myself, mainly because I would never expect anyone else to listen; I am a strong woman.  I am a very strong woman, and in these days and times being seen and known as a strong woman can be both a curse and a blessing.  I only count my strength as a blessing, and in fact, a blessing from the one who created me in the first place. We are told over and over again in the Word of God that we are to be strong, put our faith and trust in God, and not to worry about what the world sees, hears, thinks, reacts to, or demands of us. We are not to follow the leaders if the leaders don't follow God. We are to make our stand known and not compromise our spirit or our mindset as to what we know to be right and what we know to be wrong.  This is what being a strong willed and strong minded person is; one who knows the boundaries and won't compromise them for the sake of being accepted. 

    God Himself, Jehovah, made me.  This fact is known not only to Him, but also to me.  I was and am extremely privileged and honored to have been raised in a Christian home where it was literally drilled into my skull that I was in fact worth more than the world would ever give me credit for. If I did nothing in this world outside of honoring and loving God, I would be 100% sound and accepted to the only one that truly matters. It brings to mind the verse that says "What profit a man if he gains the entire world but loses his soul?" (Mark 8:36) There is no gain if you lose your soul. Eternal life is for EVERYONE. Eternal life with Christ is another matter. Only those who accept Him will see themselves at peace after this life; there is no true end to it.  Either we are or we are not going to be in Heaven. This fact is not dependent on one's belief system. You can believe that Bella Donna won't harm you, but the simple fact is that is a dangerously deadly plant. Your thoughts about it won't change a damn thing. Heaven is very real, and so is Hell.

    Women, more so than men, I believe, are often rejected and ridiculed for displaying strong attitudes and mindsets. We are literally called names, told we're "aggressive" or "obstinate" when the truth is we are quite in control and quite in line with what it is that we believe to be the right path to take. We understand and even calculate the risks before making decisions. We have the will and the authority to make our own decisions and we do so with confidence; not arrogance. I suppose the word "intimidate" comes up now and again when someone asks me why I'm not married, why I don't even care to date. I think the longer answer would be that I prefer to choose my mate rather than settling, and I won't be picked. I must do the choosing.  I haven't decided to choose yet (that's not entirely truthful, but I won't discuss who I've chosen). When it is time to marry I will marry. I won't date, that's not an option, but I will commit when it's time to commit, and God will be the only one who will need approve the union. I won't accept the opinion of a single person over God's nod.  I am intimidating, I get that. I am brash, I am bold, I am open, I am honest, far too honest in fact. I am brazen, I am steadfast, I am brutally blunt, and I won't tolerate even the slightest of lies. Yes, it's a difficult expectation, but it is mine.

    Perhaps rather than focusing on what the world would see as a negative connotation(s) for a woman being strong, we could now focus on what the innate benefits of her strength may be for a man. A strong woman will be able to follow a man's lead and support his decisions knowing that if he is unsure of his path she will be there to help him find it.  A strong woman will hold, protect, and defend a good man when he is outside of himself with anxiety, sorrow, anger, or depression.  A strong woman who you (a man) could trust to be the refuge you need to fall back on for opinions, argument, research and options would be a good thing.  A woman who reads, studies, and who delves into details to find the validity or a matter is a good prize indeed. A woman who won't back down, won't give in, or won't compromise her position to satisfy an insecurity is a good thing. Though she may go along with a man's poor decision so as to show him that she is in fact his partner, it doesn't mean she believes he is right. When or if the time comes that she can encourage him to make a better decision, it would behoove the man to remember that God made strong women for strong men. Strong women won't put up with a weak man. If a strong woman is praying for you daily she believes in you. She sees your strength, your worth, your value. Keep that in mind.

    If you are a man, and you are lucky enough to have a very strong woman in your corner, you are in fact blessed.  If your woman will pray for you daily, asking her God, your God (because a strong Christian woman won't put up with a man who isn't following Christ. If she does she's an idiot) to keep your heart on the right pathway as He renews your spirit to restore you to His will; you are in fact a very unique man. Women such as this are not only more rare and precious than rubies, they are few and far between in these days of liberal mindedness.  Our world tells us through every medium possible that a woman doesn't need a man, but that's not what God had in mind is it? Women were in fact made for men, this is true, not the other way around, but God's plan is not for either to be solo forever; but to work together, be together, be one, and in doing so, to honor Him. The world would tell the women today that they are to praise and honor themselves and to believe only in their own achievements. This again, is another lie from demonic powers. Strong believers know this, and seek the same like-minded partners who realize the man should be the leader and the head of the house, but that doesn't mean the woman is to be weakened. In truth and in fact, it takes a mighty strong woman to hold and support a Godly man.

    There will be times. There will be days. There will be weeks, even months when a man may find himself unable to stand on his own inner or mental stronghold and do what he is called to do. God never said that being a believer or a follower of Christ would be an easy journey; it is harrowing at times. The agony brought by stress of doing what is right can be excruciating. There will be times when a woman is softer and unable to pull it together; her strength must fall to her partner, and that partner must be grounded in his faith with Christ even if it isn't particularly evident. It must be real.  Strong women and strong men are meant to be powerful, but our power does not come from within our bodies, it comes from within our faith, and the One who has been sealed inside of us.  If I ever get scared or nervous about something I repeat this one thing over and over again, I say, "Greater is He that is living in me, than he that is in the world."   I look to the Lord and I cry out. He hears me.  I am never without that fact. I will be restored, or I will go home. Either way, He is in control. I don't mind being strong for Jesus, what I do mind is being questioned about it. I will not be moved.

    A strong woman is a good thing. Arrogance is not.  Know the difference.  

    
Photo Credit: Unknown

Clean Investment

 I wrote earlier about how I woke up and made the decision to make soap for profit.  Who knew that castor oil was the ingredient that could or would cause soap to lather? What?  I'll be honest with you, I may just end up making it for fun, but I want to be able to add it to my list of crafts that I can make and sell when I move to Scotland so I can have both work from home, fun work, and it will (hopefully) be enough to sustain me while I carry out my two-year VISA for researching and working on my books. If I can stay longer of course, I will. VISAs can vary from time to time, and I can get extensions if I need to through either employment or .... well, I guess I could get married and stay in the land of Heather, but employment sounds like the better end. Maybe some company will sponsor me for years and years if I don't ask them to pay me. LOL.  Why is it that I always get sidetracked when I open a blog? I really couldn't tell you -- rabbits!  

    I've spent the better part of the day researching my new hobby of soap making. I'll do the same when I decide to make candles, which will be a week after I make the soaps.  Candles only take a day to cure, you pour them and let them sit a few hours and they can be packaged immediately, where soap literally takes 24 hours to set, and another 3-4 weeks to dry out so you can package them and send them out for use. (Did you know that? I have to admit I did not know that) I watched three or four videos online for the process and the various recipes of both solid milled soaps and clear soaps. I worked my brain for several hours going through the cost basis of each; what it would cost per unit to make, package, and distribute.

    Without adding postage, as that can and will vary, I can tell you that the 3x3.5 or 3.4 inch bar that I will be creating will cost me about $.97 each to make before I mail it off, and that is if I use the ultra expensive fragrances.  I do plan on using only the best ingredients in my soaps; I know that. I know I can chinch here and there and make it more commercial. I may end up doing that in the long run if I don't have to compromise the integrity of the product. I am not above saving where I can as long as I don't do so at the expense of the client.  I think you know what I mean. There are too many products I once bought whose recipes have changed over the years.  The size of the products have managed to shrink in proportion(s) but yet somehow the price of the damn things usually go up, not down. Quite shocking! (smiles)

    For milled soap there are only three ingredients (types) to use.  You use oils, lye, and water.  For the clear soaps you use quite a few more ingredients and the are mostly chemical in nature. That didn't really surprise me, but I was happy to hear that the glycerin is actually vegetable based.  I understand there is a controversy now concerning the use of palm oil. I'm not really sure how to respond to it yet, I need to research more. If using palm oil will be a hinderance to my clients I'll use another oil, there are too many to choose from to be picky.  I have no problem listing every ingredient on the packaging. I may even go so far as to have little recipe cards created and included in each bar that I sell. That would be fun.

    The initial cost for me to start the hobby is going to be around $300.  I've set the limit at $300 so that it is not overly expensive, it's not a drag on my budget, and if I don't end up selling the product I can use them for gifts down the road. Soap doesn't depreciate in value, nor does it dissipate with time. You can leave a bar of soap in the cabinet for a 100 years and it will dry up a bit, maybe start to crack, but it will likely still be about the same size as it was when it was made. OK, maybe 100 years is too long, we'll cut it to 40.  I know it's at least 40 because I went to a thrift store the other day and found a bar of Irish Spring soap in its original box!!  I bought it for $1 and it was perfectly green swirly and smelled just as pretty and pleasant as it did back in the dinosaur age when it was first sold. Not kidding.  I only bought it to show my kids the size differences between bars of soap these days.

    The fragrance for the soaps are by far the most expensive part of the process. Water being the cheapest ingredient of course, then the lye, then the oils, and finally the scents.  Oils range of course, but you can buy 35 pound (5-gallon) containers of coconut oil for $75.00 and if you only use 1.5 ounces of it in clear soap the cost to you soap is less than nine (9) cents per bar.  I'm going to start out with only a gallon, so my cost will be closer to 18 cents per bar. Pennies for now, but in the future pennies will equal dollars if I am going to be making soap for a sustainable living. I will still use the best grade of ingredients, but I will buy them in bulk for sure.  There is an ingredient that I'm having a hard time finding anywhere but on Etsy or Ebay. It is Triethanolamine.  It's a detergent additive and you don't have to use it, there are other things you can use, and if it's not readily available I may have to. We'll have to wait it out and see. It's the only ingredient I can't get by this weekend and I want to make the soaps for Christmas. 

    If I make the soaps Saturday, November 20, they will have time to dry out by Christmas. I'll be giving the first 3 batches away as gifts to family members and friends. (If I have anything left over I'll actually use them myself, but I hope to be able to find enough friends and family to gift them to.)  Once I get the Triethanolamine I will make the clear soaps with the really cool trinkets, beads, herbs, and swirls. I want to try and make soap marbles for the grandkids. That would be really fun.  Have you looked at all the soap things you can do and make on Pinterest? I have to stop going there. Hours fly by and I've not done a damn thing but stare, gawk, oogle, and make plans. My little pencil was flying today!  My trip to Hobby Lobby was not only adventurous it was EXPENSIVE!  Well, I say that, it really wasn't. I decided to buy the supplies in smaller bulk for the weekend and then later I'll buy more and make more as I build up my clientele and even get business cards, set up a webpage, and try to market my wares.

    When I visited Whole Foods, Target, Walmart, and a few sweet gift boutiques around the city today, I learned the average price for the same size bar that I'm going to make is $4.99 - 8.99.  I'll charge $3.00 per bar, maybe $3.99, but shipping will need to be additional if I'm sending them off. I'll do a 3/$10.00 thing if I go up to $3.99.  That will help.  The little clear fish soaps that I saw at the boutique were about 2.5" long and about that wide. They were $5.99 EACH.  They weren't even an inch thick, closer to 3/4 of an inch.  My 3"x3.5" bar is about 7/8" of an inch thick and will be $3.99 tops (until inflation drives up the costs).  I may do molds such as fish, hearts, stars, etc. You have to have fun with it. Some of the molds were a bit naughty and I wasn't really sure what I was looking at until I realized what I was looking at. I decided against those molds. I'm not saying I'm a prude, but I don't think I want to be that person who make THOSE soaps.  I bet there's a market for it though.

    Well, that's about it for the clean investment tip for the day. I think the pots, the stick blender, the measuring cups, digital scale, and silicone molds along with the smoothers, the cutter, and the spray bottle to hold the Ever Clear in, will run me about $75.00, and the rest of the $$$ will come from buying supplies which will include a small bottle of Ever Clear. Who knew that you could and should spray a fine mist of Ever Clear on the clear soaps to remove any bubbles? CRAZY!  Chemicals are funny things -- just too fascinating.

WARNING:  If you decide to make soap you have to use LYE and it is DANGEROUS, so read up on it, use appropriate gear, ventilation is required, and you MUST keep it away from anyone who may mistake it for water.  NOT joking about that, and keep all of your soap supplies and tools separate from your other housewares and food supplies. You just need to be safe and smart.  If you do decide to do it, you can buy all of your supplies online at www.bulkapothecary.com and www.essentialwholesale.com.  Great places!!  You can use Amazon and get prime delivery faster, but the prices seem to be higher. Check and see; I don't want to discourage or influence anyone.  BE SAFE.

    

Photo Credit: pikadilly charm blogspot

    

Channeling the Pioneer Woman in Myself.

 Most of you know I'm from Oklahoma and that Oklahoma is part of the Great Plains region of America. Well, it's also a Southwest state, being on the eastern and norther side of the Southwest region.  We are an interesting state in deed and indeed.  We rival the bigger, more experienced states in sports, agriculture, technology, and you can't beat Oklahoma for call centers! Yes, yes, it's true, we do give good phone voice here in Oklahoma. Some say our accent (we don't have one) is not as heavy as those folks from Tennessee or South Carolina; and of course, we speak more clearly than our cousins down in Texas. 

    Well, today I woke up as I do most mornings, and thought out loud because I can. The dog seems to think I'm speaking directly to her when I do that, and she begins her morning routine of pestering me until I physically rise, dress, use the bathroom, weigh myself, and then take her for her stroll. While laying in bed petting the dog, choosing not to get out of the warmth of my incredibly smotheringly comfortable comforter, I thought I could do more in terms of sustaining my income and offsetting any debt that I may have. Maybe you don't think out loud about finances but lately I've been doing just that.  I decided that to have fun is just as important as covering the cost basis of sustaining a casual lifestyle.  I thought about what I could do from home to become both flush and feel good about life. It's a Southern Thang.

    BAM!  (I do say Bam a lot) Soap!  I can make soap.  I can make soap, and I can make candles. I can sell said soap and candles as a set or separately. I can easily charge a good amount and expect people to pay it. I can mail off said wares and expect customers to pay for the postage. I'm not like most people, I'm not going to rip people off with postage. I will consider the packing and the handling, but I'm not going to gouge anyone. That piece of morality may end up being the one thing that keeps the boats floating in my ocean. We'll have to wait and see.  Soaps and candles. Easy peasy.

    We have the world's largest hobby store here in Oklahoma, it's called Hobby Lobby.  You can find it easily enough at www.hobbylobby.com and when you go there, be sure to check out the clearance. Many people worldwide have NO IDEA how often Hobby Lobby places their every day things on 50% off, and you'd be surprised at how often they place out of season holiday items at over 70% off retail price. It's absolutely worth your investigation.   So, for the soaps that generally sell online for around $8 a bar, I can make the bar for less than .30 cents.  Packing, wrapping, and shipping costs will end up being another $3.00 in the US;  If I charge $3.99 a bar and actual shipping (around $1.80 and I'll charge $3 to include the labor and driving the product to the post office) the person will pay about $6.99.  My actual cost will be about .30 + $1.80 or  $2.10.  I make a profit, they save a $1 or so buying from me, and since I use Amazon to deliver, they can (if they have Prime) get their soaps faster.

    Candles are another matter because you have to buy the tins or the glass. Tins travel better in the mail of course, and you don't have to pack them in bubble wrap.  I think I will invest a bit on the candles and make them in two sizes.  Candles I sell online will be around $4.99 per tin, and again $3.00 shipping. So a $7.99 cost to the client and about a $1.00 investment for myself, since you buy the wax and/or soy cheaper than you can soap products. There are also little things you put into the soaps and candles, such as grasses, herbs, flowers, beads.  Hobby Lobby has all of these things, and yes, I can buy wholesale, and I will, but to start out to get the ball rolling, I'll hit up my local Hobby Lobby this weekend and begin the newest chapter of my life - - I can't call myself the Pioneer Woman, we already have one of those here in Oklahoma too.  She's really cool too, by the way. 

    Soon, and very soon, I'll come up with a recipe blog book, come up with ways to cook great food, desserts, roll out cookies, quiche, and even talk about making pottery, candles, jewelry, soap, and even butters. Yes, you heard me, butters. I will make the butter first, add seasonings, and then give them away to friends and family before trying to market them. Because they are food products I would need both a license, and more regulations. It may be that I just make the stuff to give away - - you never know. I like garlic butter, honey butter, lemon butter, and spicy red pepper butter. It could be a niche market for me, you just never know. Cooking, pottery, trading stocks, writing books. Something tells me I may need a bigger kitchen with an island.  Oh, and I could get a roaster and roast coffee!

    Now, that's an amazing idea too. Like with butter, I would need licensures and such, but I have enough friends who do this I can ask them what is required. I can do this. I can roast coffee out on my balcony and the entire neighborhood would be over ever day early for breakfast.  They could wash their hands using my soaps, eat whatever I cook and use a flavored butter perhaps while sipping rich amazingly roasted homebrewed coffee. I'm actually liking this fantasy. I can do this....right after I walk the dog. She's staring at me. 

Photo Credit: Wild Thymes Botanicals

Keeping in Touch

 I know I just wrote a blog maybe an hour ago, but one of my friends decided to go off the grid a few weeks ago and he's not been seen or heard from really.  He's not close enough that I could pick up the phone and call him, that wouldn't be appropriate, but I did want to reach out this way and let him know that he's not actually forgotten. I know that sometimes when people decide to stop posting on social media it's because they suffered an injury and they can't physically post. There are times when people have had enough of other people online, their nasty comments, the way their followers, friends, fans, or whoever, tend to give free advice to every situation under the Sun, and it just seems prudent to step away from the keyboard.  But....and this is a big but....most people let you know they'll be offline for a minute.  It's been a few minutes.

    When people just stop writing, stop posting, stop communicating in general, that seems to make the rumor mill crank up and then whatever the situation really is could become so much worse by loose lips, talking heads and/or anyone who thinks they know exactly what to do and how to fix the problem. Well, some problems aren't meant to be fixed online in front of God and the whole world. Some problems are only solved in quiet meditation and prayer.  That's my take on it anyway.  

    Since I don't know what exactly happened to my buddy, I'm just going to ask Jesus to be in touch, and to hover over his soul for the time being. It must have been something big or else he would have said something.  Whatever the reason(s) for him not letting the rest of us, and the world, know his personal business, I'm fairly certain he'll be keen to remember to clue us in the second he feels comfortable doing so. If that never happens then it's not really our place to meddle; it is our place however, to pray. Prayer is always expected, it is always made available, and with or without the permission of the subject, prayer is always offered from those who truly do care.  Silent prayers are heard too, so if you're out there friend, and you're reading this, I hope you'll join me in my prayers for you, and you'll agree with me that God has not only a rightful place in His plan for you, but that your time and His time may be different. Let's go with His time for the sake of the prayer union. He will deliver you.

    Being mindful is important. Knowing that others have your soul in their minds is good too.  We all, every last one of us, need help from time to time and we will learn to lean on others. I love the song you know, and my friend sings it often.  "Lean on me, when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on."  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't remember being in trouble, being in need, being so hurt and at the edge of the universe at times. I find it too hard to forget because of all the times someone was there to help me. JESUS saw to that. He will see you through -- if you just lean on Him. Lean into those everlasting arms. Pray. Cry, yes, don't forget to cry, don't hold back, let it all out, and do it again, because it just hurts sometimes. It really does. No one can judge. Let it go.

    Anyone out there who is suffering from sadness, depression, anxiety, or just stress - - c'mon, we can stress ourselves, we don't need all the external stuff too. Let it go, and let God have the reins. You don't need to be driving that carriage with tears in your eyes, you need to be faithful and let someone who knows all the answers to be in control right now. It's OK to not be OK, isn't that what you say? It is. It is perfectly good to be afflicted.  David wrote about it Psalms 119:71.  He said "It is good that I am afflicted as I then know the ways of God".  If you feel like the world is crumbling, it very well may be crumbling, and that's really a good thing.  We don't call this place home. We're passing through, and soon, very soon, we will all go home.  I know I can't  wait to fly.  Pray.  You'll be fine. I promise.  The reason I can say I promise is simple - - He said so.

Photo Credit: The Disciple Maker www.thedisciplemaker.org

Juice Diet Day 3 (November 16, 2021)

 Not going to lie about it, the third day is tough. You start to think about all the food you're missing out on and you think maybe this juice fast should be for just a day or so. I wouldn't be wrong for thinking that either. After doing a bit of research it seems that juicing is not always the better choice as it can lead to an inappropriate way of feeding yourself.  You have to have enough discipline to say you know when your body has reached a peak and it may not be the best thing to continue to force juices as they have more sugar than candy at times.  It's all about the calories and the nutrients when you juice. You don't want to ONLY juice fruit.  I try to mix two veggies for every one fruit. That's not always done, but that's my rule of thumb.

    Breakfast was an easy choice. I had purchased so many good fruits and vegetables yesterday that I had so many things just sitting on the counter needing to be juiced. Well, like an idiot, I had purchased a bag of plump juicy grapefruits but I didn't look inside the bag to see that they were green with spots. They had canker!! So sad!! I was really looking forward to a super powerful morning drink that would knock my socks off, but hey, I settled for romaine lettuce, grapes, and parsley. Of course I added the ginger root and I even threw in a touch of Maca and Papaya just for the heck of it.  It was sweet (purple grapes do that) and it was good. Very good.

    Lunch found me a bit hungry around 11:30 rather than later. If I put psyllium husk in my breakfast drink I don't feel hungry until later, but that wasn't the case today. Nope.  Oh, and I forgot to tell you, I did step on the scale today, and guess what? I had lost another 2.2 pounds. I'm not kidding. Yes, it may only be water weight, but it was weight that I was carrying around with me. I'm not carrying it anymore! Gone! I think I may do the juice thing tonight, and maybe through lunch tomorrow, but have an actual salad with cheese and chicken for dinner.  I may keep that sort of plan going for a minute to get the juices in but also keep the meat in my body. I'm seriously not a vegan and even my doctors tell me that my blood type (O+) needs meat protein, not just plant based protein.

    The most important part of my day is the afternoon. I tend to work through my snack and that's not good because it makes me go wild at dinner time. I can't remain objective and social if I'm on a wild bender for food, right? What do I do? Well, I returned a package to Amazon through the handy-dandy return desk at the local Whole Foods. Keep in mind, I don't ever shop that store, it's lovely, they have wonderful wonderful foods there, but if I wanted to simply throw my money away I would gamble. when I can buy $50 of produce at Winco for $50 and the same would cost over 3x that at Whole Food, I feel violated!!  I did look though.  I looked at ALL the lovelies. I looked at quiche, cheese, milk products, meats, cookies, candy, cakes, wines, and bread...I drooled a little over the pretzel cross buns. I did. I may have fantasized.

    After my trip to the neverlands, I went home and made myself a healthy and delightfully fresh carrot juice mixed with celery and blueberries. You gotta love the blueberries. It wouldn't matter what else you had in the juicer, your drink will be purple. My drink was a lovely shade of violet and I drank it down. That brings me to dinner, which was early. I typically (always) eat at 6:00 p.m. but I was allowing for a later consumption of food since it was juiced.  My body disagreed and I made my dinner drink at 6:15 which was (is) romaine lettuce, parsley and pineapple. So good. I told my daughter Laura and she said "Stop, you lost me at parsley".  Are you sure about that? Parsley helps with your heart rate, staves off cancers, and regulates blood sugar. Yeah, give me a bit more parsley. Thank you.

    So you don't get all upset with me for "giving in" or "giving up" after only 3 days, you should know I had to think long and hard about a 7 or 10 day juice fast due to my personal history with lower blood sugar. The parsley continues to help, sure, but I don't want to over do the blood sugar with all the sugars in both vegetables and fruit. I want to keep a good balance going. Water flushes just about everything, so after 6:00 p.m. I drink about 100 ounces of lemon or lime water every night. I've done that for a year now. It helps for so many things, too many to really get into, but you can imagine the sludge your body can store! Water, water, and more water.

    Monday is my birthday, and my daughter Caity bought me a really fun present today. (Strangely, that is what I took back to Amazon, but it was really cool!)  It was a weighed hoop that you position around your waist. It comes with 24 interlocking sections. I used 21 of them. She's uses 20 so it tells me that my waist is about 3" rounder than hers. Anyway, the thing is really fun, but I worked it for about 10 minutes and found that my motions are over exaggerated to get the bell/ball to go around. It wasn't really safe for me to try it. I think dancing will do the same thing, so she sent me a QR code to return the thing.  She is an amazing kid, and I really appreciated the gesture. 

    So, you may be asking how the poo was today? Awesome. Thanks for asking. I find it helpful to either journal or keep in mind when it is that I go so I can maintain a healthy regulation. Today's poo was softer than yesterday, but there was more of it. Interesting really, because I only drank juices and had a bit of a protein shake yesterday.  Maybe that's where the 2.1 pounds came into play.  We can assume.  I do wait to weigh myself after I go to the bathroom if I can.  Then again, if you wait too long you've had your coffee and morning drink so it offsets anything you expel. You have to think of these things you know. That's another reason journals come in handy. I laugh to think if anyone would ever actually read my writings. They may be used for fire starters after the rapture. 

    Well, that's about it. We'll pick up again tomorrow. I'll let you know how the salad goes and if I decided to totally cheat on myself and eat a piece of chocolate. I'm not above doing that. I swear, I'm not.

Photo Credit: Molandra Products