Jude Stringfellow's Blog, page 74

Odd Dream Last Night.

 So, if you want to interpret my dream and tell me what you think it means, you'll have to email me at: jude.stringfellow@gmail.com rather than leave a comment. I've turned off the comments of my blogs for obvious reasons.  I'll listen and read all of your comments that are emailed to me, but I don't want the world to see them necessarily.   Feel free to let me know your thoughts.

    Last night I dreamed and as usual, the dreams were mixed together, they could be separate, they could be combined. I never know. One seems to go into the next. I have more details from one or two than I do the last, but it is what it is. I'll try to recall all I can. Nothing makes sense, but that's the way it is in dreams.

    I saw a room where a man and a woman were seated at a small table. They were dressed in costume really, in robes and pretty clothes to mimic the person they were to honor in a few minutes. The man they were going to honor on camera, was a man who was an entertainer. He was at least a great pianist and he may have been a songwriter or more, I don't know.  I was (as an outsider) aware that this would be the last thing the man did before his death. He was to be killed there in the room (and I don't know about the others) when an explosion outside the building took place. The explosion was to be an older white Mercedes, perhaps even the entertainer's car.

    The man and woman sat down, I was observing, but not there. I could see it happening.  She was wearing a genie-type outfit, but she put a green shiny robe/cape around her shoulders. She was in her mid 40's and had dark hair. She wore a sort of crown on her forehead like Woman Woman. It wasn't Wonder Woman, but she resembled Lynda Carter in ways.  The man was nondescript and he was older. He had his back to me, I couldn't see much. They had a cake in front of them on a small table and on it was the name of the entertainer and it was something like "Giovanli".  The woman was impressed that they had gone "all-out" for it, she laughed thinking it was a bit tacky but fun. 

    The entertainer, Giovanli, walked into the room through a curtain.  They were being filmed. He was being openly polite. He was standing. He had several robes on, and this was the reason the woman had added one to her wardrobe.  It was again, to show solidarity for the entertainer.  When he turned to sit, I could see he had multiple lightweight robes and I began to count them. He had 17 robes on his body! They were thin, light-weight, and so colorful. It was beyond obvious that his thing was to wear robes and do things with them when he entertained.  That much was known to me.  

    The woman began to talk and it was mundane. I was now aware that I was in the room. I knew there was about to be an explosion, but I was not allowed to talk about it or warn anyone.  I began talking to Giovanli and telling him how very impressed I was and how appreciative I was of his work. I decided within myself that his last things to hear shouldn't be empty praise from those who didn't really love and admire him, but out of duty decided to give him a bit of recognition. Who knows, they could have lured him to his demise. That was my other thought process.  I "heard" later on that he was injured but did not die. That was good news to me.

    As I held Giovanli's hands and talked with him he listened. He was happy to know his work was important to at least one person. I assured him I was not alone in my thinking but knew these people were just paid to do their thing and move forward. They knew of him, but they were not fans and they were not even kind enough to get their facts correct for the presentation. This is what led me to think they were behind the explosion.

    I knew I had to leave and I did. I forgot my pink big purse and had to go back. Then I realized I didn't have my keys and had to go back. So annoying!! I was leaving when the explosion happened. It was terribly agonizing, time stood still, it was bright, it was hot, it was loud. I left the building and saw the white Mercedes. I couldn't figure out how the explosion of a car could be so devastating on the building if the car wasn't in or near the building. I looked for my own car. I couldn't find it. I walked the lots, and I went to the other lot. I finally saw my son driving my car. I could see he was "over there" and wearing a red OU baseball cap.  

    When I saw my son I tried to call him, but my three-inch by three-inch square telephone wouldn't work. Phones never work in dreams. I asked my daughter to call her brother. She tried, and her walnut telephone wasn't working either.  Finally, my son caught our eyes and he picked us both up. He was interviewing people to live with him, and I was not sure I wanted to hang out and do that. He was interviewing a man with a wife and two kids. My thought was that he shouldn't have a family move in with him and his wife, but it wasn't my business really to say much about it.

    That's when I woke up and I knew there were about 1000 different things to pull apart. There were colors, there were numbers, and there were symbols. I don't know all about dreams, but I do wonder sometimes why we see specific things such as the cake with the name, or the number of robes, or the fact that I had a big, fat, pink, square purse. I don't have one in my waking life.  My son does wear a red OU baseball cap, but I assure you my daughter does not use a walnut to call people. 

    An oddity is normal when we're sleeping and the fact that I didn't wake up until after 10:30 this morning is odd as well -- I never do that. Strange all around.  I know the country of IRAN had something to do with the explosion as well, but I have no idea. It could be that I read about one in Syria and I know that the Iranians are hiding their chemical weapons in Damascus - - that's about to get real. No dreams are needed, we have Isaiah 17:1 for that!

Photo Credit: Unknown, found on Pinterest

Master Numbers and Me

This one is going to be a bit different from my other blogs.  This one is more inward and spiritual, not as religious or as some have said "pious" because it deals with the inner soul, the inner spirit of my being, and the literal make-up of who I am based on a strange but interesting concept of using numbers. I don't say "numerology" because of the connotation it has with Believers as being Satanic. Believe it or not folks, Satan had nothing to do with building and creating the universe, which of course, is chock full of numbers.  God numbered every tiny thing, He alone is the Ultimate Master of numbering. We'll give God the glory on that one before we dive into it.

    Masters Numbers are numbers that carry a higher degree of potential for one or more reasons. To have a Master Number in your "life path" or in the date of your birth is said to be a unique and wonderful experience.  There are three Master Numbers and they are 11, 22, and 33.  Each number has its own set of potentially great support in (and as to why) calculating who and what the person will become who is born with the numbers in their life path or birth date.  Often times a person may be born with these numbers in their birth date but have no clue as to the potential inside of them. Other times folks come across these numbers in their lives outside of their birth dates, and they seem to figure out rather quickly that these numbers play a significant role in their lives.  Jesus was 33 when He died. 

    I was born on the 22nd day of the 11th Month in a year that you can turn upsidedown and it is still the same freaking number. How is that for being unique? I was born on 11/22/1961  (In the UK that would be 22/11/1961).  The Master Numbers are considered doubled at this point, so I really should be honing in on some of my God-given talents and traits shouldn't I? I could spend hours just going over the things I should be doing in order to think of ways to be more productive for others and to be a beacon of light for someone. That's another blog. For now, I'll look at what I'm supposed to be and what I am (in my opinion). I'll use a website or two to support my research. 

According to the internet: People who are born with the number 11 should be:Spiritually motivatedIllustrators (teachers)LeadersExcel in matters of spiritual intuitionInspire othersThey are capable of literally making decisions instantlyCommanding but not demandingHave energy long after most others fadeThey seek a higher source of wisdomHave greater responsibility to societyHave deep feelings but hide their emotionsGifted with discernment Make excellent JudgesListen well and respond accordinglyProblem-solving mastersWill experience deeper depths of low and greater heights of successNo pressure there!  Damn!  Well, OK, I'm not going to lie. I could lie, but I'm not going to. I think this is really a good list that could basically describe my personality.  I was and am diagnosed by a professional psychologist as being an ENTJ on the Meyers/Briggs charts, most of these traits fall right into that testing as well. Gee, I wonder if they have something to do with one another? That's another blog too.    
    I was born on the 22nd of the month.  Twenty-Two is a double dose of the number 11. It is also a Master Number on its own and is double the number 2, which is a building number.  According to these charts and knowledge, I could be a carpenter I suppose. Maybe I just come up with really good structures and ideas to be built upon. I'm more of a foundations person.  Other traits and characteristics of those who have the number 22 in their birth date or life path are:
Master building skillsAble to see the end result before starting a projectTurns dreaming into reality through research and goal settingHardworking and expectant of all others to do the sameWilling to sacrifice for the cause they feel is importantDouble number 11 in spiritual matters (discernment from information)Teamwork and team leadDisciplined OK, there you go, more of the same really, but I guess I can see a few differences. I love the number 22 more than I do the number 11. I'm happy to have been born in November, it is my favorite month, but the number 22 brings more peace to me. My daddy was born on April 22.  My son was born on March 22. My best friend Jeannie was born on June 22.  My famous dog Faith was born on December 22. My favorite music man, Maurice Gibb, was born on December 22. Interestingly, so was his twin brother Robin! (LOL)  I love the number 22 and feel a closer connection to it.
    I am a team worker, a team builder, and a team leader. I do see the end results before starting a project, and I do remember my dreams and often question myself as to whether they mean something or if I simply remember them. I am absolutely hardworking, dedicated, and disciplined. I have a greater degree of being able to discern information from bits and pieces of social postings etc, and though others may think I'm guessing, I'm not guessing. There is NO guesswork in my mind. I always hunt it down, check it out, scope what I can, and run it through the logical wringers before I make it known. I am the hardest on myself, no one needs to be so.  If I say yes, I mean yes. If I say no, you better damn well know I mean no. I don't play games when it comes to that. You'll know exactly where you stand with me whether you really wanted to know or not.

    I find numbers to be really interesting.  Some people have taken to counting letters, words, sentences, and such in the Bible to decode some really cool messages.  I am not into that so much, but I find it really cool when things "line up" as they are supposed to and in ways that the odds of them doing so are too great to be ignored.   I wasn't due to be born until 12/19/1961.  That's another interesting fact. I guess God decided this little girl needed to be born a wee bit early and in a family where I could be brought to church on the 4th day of my life. I was born on a Wednesday and in church on Sunday. That may surprise most, but not my family.  I will never give a smidge of praise to anything or any other than to God (or Jesus) for the greater goodness and compassion He has shown me throughout my life. I don't need to seek a Higher Power, He has always been there. 
    
    Maybe all the Masters Numbers do is bring us to an awareness of how we should be. It is said also that those who have Master Numbers in their birth dates will experience greater lows and higher heights. I can attest to some of that. I've been privileged and hurt. I've been broken and mended. I can say with utter truth in my breath that I don't worry about anything. I literally give it all to God. Initially, I may falter, but when I settle down I realize I'm not the one who makes the pieces, the numbers, or anything else fall into place.  To God be the Glory. GREAT things, He has done.


Photo Credit: Numerology.com

"Surrender is the Answer"

 Scottish songwriter and singer Steph Macleod has achieved a great deal more than most in his career, and yet, he is not a household name. If you want the truth, I think I would prefer that if I were as successful as he has been.  Within his own career path as a folk singer, he has produced four really good, and critically acclaimed LPs (albums) with another EP (shorter album with 5 songs).  He was, for about four years, a member of a worship band called "Celtic Worship".  With the band he produced another two really amazing LPs and then, again, on his own, as a gospel singer, he put out a 2nd EP, titled "O Perfect Father".  All of Steph's work can be found online through your favorite music site(s) such as Spotify, Amazon, etc.  Why am I telling you all about Steph Macleod?

    Steph's album "Gold" has a song on it titled "One Day at a Time", a popular saying and mantra among people who are or have been through rehab or substance abuse counseling. One day at a time refers to how we are to look at life, think about how it is we will unravel the twisted knots we've tied ourselves in, and how we're going to survive the next day!  In the song, Steph proclaims over and over again that surrendering, to the Higher Power, is the answer.  FYI...it is the answer. Every time.

    As Believers, I can't speak for non-believers, we are to remember that the act of surrendering is really an act of returning. It is an act of repenting, it is an act of realigning ourselves with the one True pole in our lives; Jesus. He is the answer and it doesn't really matter what the question is.  Let's look at the lyrics of the song for a second, maybe that will help some of you out a bit.

"So let met tell you 'bout my weary soul

I lose heart when I lose control

Free falling, fantasizing

Reminiscing 'bout the days gone by when I

Drank heavy, and I popped pills 

With my fake friends for the cheap thrills

I cried out when I lost my way, 

Hands held high from the shadows of the valley.

Everything will be alright. Everything will be alright.

Everything will be alright, I'm living one day at a time.

Surrender, is the answer, I believe in a Higher Power" 

It's not easy to see yourself falling. It's not even possible at some point. We often have to hit rock bottom before we realize we're in the exact spot we need to be to have only one option left; to surrender!

    No one knows the words to this song better than the writer himself. He's been on a personal and spiritual journey for years, having been addicted to both drugs and alcohol.  His is not the easy road; the rocks, stumps, pits, and thicket seem endless at times. I've followed his social media for years now, and have been able to keep up with some of the things he's been facing through the posts and comments of others as well.  If I can say anything at all about him, and have him hear me, and understand that my words are genuine, it would be that he hit the nail on the head with this one. "Surrender is the answer, I believe in a Higher Power."  It's the epitome of truth behind lyrics. 

    When Jesus died some 2000+ years ago, He set in motion a way for us to not only surrender the big things we can't control but also the little daily things that we may need guidance for. His forgiveness on that day meant that no matter what we do it has already been taken care of. We aren't to use that as a means to continue our sin. Paul said "forbid that" but what it means is that we will sin, we will fall, we will stumble, we will need help, and it's always and already in place just waiting for us to ask for it. Surrender.  Even if we don't have the words to use to ask for it, we have a heart that speaks when our mouths can't. Jesus is into Heart Messages.

    My prayer today is for all of us. Any one of us, and every one of us. I pray that we take a minute to consider the benefits of letting go, of surrendering, and of taking the control back by giving it away to God forever. His is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. we can't argue with that reasoning. We really can't. Who do we think we are if we think we can outdo, outlove, or out-provide God?  One more quote from the song "One Day at a Time" I think says a great deal about our lives and what we can have.

  "I've been waiting for the rains to come. Now the river is rising high, and I'm moving on....everything is going to be alright."

Thank you, Steph.  

Photo Credit: Daniel Plan

 

Love and Ruin

 My eyes see things, my mind knows things, my ears hear things, and yes, my heart can feel things. We all have the same equipment to use and work with when it comes to being loved and loving others. We know what we should do, we know what we should say, but do we do it? I can honestly say that I'm finally at that point where I can say I can be honest and I can be open and I can be who I really am. I don't have to worry about lying to someone to impress them. I don't have to lie to someone to hide anything that I wouldn't want them to know about me. Part of the freedom of being single and staying that way is that I choose who I spend time with and if I simply don't want to be with someone I'll be upfront and say so. I'm not rude about it, and I'm certainly not overtly sweet about my exit either. I'll make it as cordial as I can, but I'm not about to spend time that I can't get back or feel I've not made the right investment. Sorry, we just don't have time to waste these days. 

    I watch people. If you know me you know that. I listen to people. I literally set myself down and listen, watch, observe, and sometimes I put myself there on purpose so I can hear, see, think, and feel about it. I do it because I'm (sometimes) paid to do it. I do it because it's a very cheap form of entertainment; albeit you never know if you're going to find yourself viewing a romantic comedy, a drama, or God forbid, a horror show! People are the worst; people need to learn a few lessons from animals, that's all I can say about that. Horses are rather blunt and upfront about things, but in the end, they usually settle down and can easily share a pasture as long as they understand the rules, and who is in charge.  I've seen men and women who are supposed to be IN LOVE and who are supposed to be one another's FOREVER mate, treat one another with such disdain and with such hatred, you'd think they were born mortal enemies!

    I know I go back to it over and over again, but vows are actually promises. Marriages don't have to be and probably shouldn't be, based on being in love with one another. A marriage is actually a contract, but people seem to forget that part of it. They have this notion that you meet, you date, you jump in bed, you exchange secrets, you push each other's buttons, and you introduce one another to the families. Then after a certain amount of time you decide if you should stick it out or try to start the process over again. Love is good, it's a good thing to have, but love starts with respecting one another and it's just really hard to achieve that when you jump through the hoops and skip over the process that God had in mind for two people who are and/or will be spending their lives together.  People don't even consult God on this matter for the most part, and well, it shows!

    Before we get too far into it, I have to confess that I am as guilty as anyone else who jumped the gun and forced a situation in order to please the family, keep up with the Jones, and all that. I got married because it was "time" to get married. I got married because I thought I "needed him" not because I loved him. No, there really wasn't any love to be had, but then again, LOVE isn't always the emotion we need to rely on when it comes to being compatible. Love will happen if respect and trust are given and earned. Love is a result and a product if you will, of trust and respect.  Waiting on God would have been such a better answer for me and yes, I can say with absolute certainty, that it is the best answer for anyone and everyone. 

    Today, while watching, I overheard a woman say to her spouse, her soon (very soon) to be former spouse that she was going to see to it that he was ruined. She was going to make it her life's duty and ambition to see him fail. She was going to take everything she could, everything he had, expose his every dark secret, and she hoped before God that he was punished and hurt worse than he could ever imagine.  I don't know if I breathed a really heavy sigh and she saw me, but she turned to me and she screamed at me as if I was a part of their conversation. To be honest, I was there first. I was sitting in that spot for at least fifteen minutes before she and her Mr. came out of the store and began or picked up their latest argument. 

    She was going to ruin him. She was going to see to it that she made it her life's ambition to see him ruined. Is this the same woman he held in his arms at night back whenever? Is this the same man who promised to cherish, love, honor, to forsake all others for her? Is this the way it's supposed to end? Absolutely not.  Something, and maybe a few somethings happened! No one wakes up and declares that their life will not be complete until they see their spouse felled and utterly destroyed without there being at least a few incidents that led up to the falling. Can someone please explain to the world that we really do have choices? We can either listen to God and do what He wants or we can fight and claw our ways out of situation after situation after situation. It doesn't have to be a bad marriage, it can be a job, it can be the way we go through relationships like water, it can be that we continue to use alcohol, drugs, weed, sex, or whatever, but in the end, isn't it the same? We aren't doing what we KNOW to do (I'm talking to Christians at this point. We can't expect non-believers to behave as believers.)

    Does it sound really churchy of me to say we need to listen to God? Well, I guess then we best be gettin' ourselves back to the church!  How's that sin working out for you? How is that failed relationship coming along? How is that repeated trip back to rehab doing? Is it working? Are you getting all you need out it?  Professional help is great when you take the information and apply it to the rest of your life without using it as a crutch to cling to. It's supposed to prepare you to walk on your own. I suggest you walk with God and let Him direct your steps. He did promise that He would if you asked! Take Him up on that! He's got a really good track record for telling the Truth and you know - - being the Truth.

    Love never fails. Where there is money, status, pride, sin, and lies, they are going to fail. You can bet your last hard-earned dollar on that one. You will be ruined either by your own actions or the actions of someone else who is bent on seeing you face down in the dirt for whatever it was he or she thought you should have been, said or done. God isn't like that. You know, I heard something just the other day that really hit hard -- a lie doesn't want to be challenged, but the truth doesn't mind it at all, in fact, the truth asks you to challenge it - - to prove its value. We run from what we know we are doing wrong, and we stand by what we know we're doing right. Let your yes be yes, and your no be no. It's good advice.  

    Wait on God. He will bring the right spouse if there is one. Wait on God. He will bring the right position if there is one to be had. Pray, ask through Christ, and let it go. There's absolutely no reason to become anxious, scared, or nervous. If He says YES, He says yes. If He says NO, He says No. If He asks you to WAIT, the answer is always going to be YES. He'd never ask you to wait to be told No. That's the beauty of it right there. We KNOW when the answer is NO, we don't have to wait to be told. We push, we pull, we prod, we force - - but the answer was NO and it will never be YES if it is NO. I think we all need to get a little of that in us from time to time. I'm absolutely including myself in that one.  I say it all the time; Psalms 37:4-5 is still in the Book.  No one has EVER taken it out, and no one ever will.  "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your ways to Him, and HE will bring it to pass."   The best part about it is, He can't fail. Ever.

Photo Credit: Keith McGivern

    

I Met a Former Prisoner Today.

 Though he never said he was recently released from prison, I met a man today that left little doubt that he had been incarcerated for maybe twenty to twenty-five years. He wasn't rude, mean, nasty, or in any way showing himself to have been an ex-con, but it was more in the way he asked questions, listened, and nodded his head when I answered. He was genuinely interested in the answer to the (several) questions that he had.  I'll try to explain it as best I can; it was a rather interesting exchange.

    The man wasn't flirting with me. If he had been, I would have walked in the opposite direction. He was curious about literally everything in the store. It was as if he hadn't been in Winco before. He looked out of place in other ways too. He watched people. He moved slowly around them, not to get too close to them, and he always listened before he spoke. He didn't want to impose or offend. He wanted to ask specific questions, but I could tell he had a few to ask.  It wasn't as if his wife had done all the shopping in the past. It was as if he hadn't seen a produce section of a store in a very long time. He was noticing the choices, the prices, and the way the bags are in rolls without ties, and he mentioned that he hasn't been shopping "in a while".  I took that to mean a long long while.

    My friend and I went to the grocery store today and we were in the produce aisle. People always, and I do mean always, stop me and ask me questions about food when I'm in the store. I don't work there, I don't have on an apron or a badge that states I work there.  While looking over the wonderfully ripe and unripe avocadoes, a man (from out of nowhere) asked me how I use or fix avocadoes. He was only familiar with eating them in guacamole.  I told him I cut them up to put on sandwiches, I put half of one in a smoothie in the mornings, and I often just cut them up as part of a  party tray to serve with chunks of cheese, and olives, crackers, etc. He all but stared at me.

    The man couldn't believe avocadoes could be used in smoothies. He then wanted to know what all goes into a smoothie. He wanted to know the benefits of them, he had been hearing about them and saw them on sale at places like Starbucks, Scooters, and Tropical Sun, but he said he had never actually had one. He wanted to know everything he could about them. I decided to answer him and to spend a bit of time with him because it was absolutely obvious to me that this man hadn't been inside a grocery store in years. If he hadn't been inside a store, he probably hadn't been anywhere else but maybe a prison cell.  I never got actual confirmation on that, but his white tucked-in tee-shirt, belted waist, and Dickie trousers told me that he was a bit old school. 

    When I saw him again pondering over the bulk section as if he had literally stumbled into Narnia, I asked if he needed help. He definitely needed a great deal of help. He was so surprised, so overwhelmed really by the choices before him. He couldn't figure out why someone would want to scoop out a bunch of raisins when they could buy them packaged already in nice little boxes.  I explained to him that the nice little packaged boxes came with a cost and advertising. These bulk raisins are just as good, but literally half the cost. Again, he couldn't stop staring. He just couldn't believe his own ears.

    I showed him what I was getting, and explained why I was getting everything that I bought. I make my own trail mix. He had never seen Oregan hazelnuts before, and he never knew peanuts came salted, unsalted, roasted, raw, and with chili.  So many choices. I showed him where the little containers are that can be reused. I showed him where the Sharpee pens are, and the tape I use to label my containers, and I showed him the cost difference not only on the raisins, but also oatmeal, flour, Stevia, and chocolate chips; and his favorite, the spaghetti.  A one-pound pack of regular spaghetti was about $1.99 whereas he could get the same amount for $.87 in bulk. He was sold.  He was flat-out amazed, and he was now a bulk fan. 

    I can't always go to prisons and minister. I can't sit down with the homeless in the streets and talk. I can't put myself in an unsafe environment even if I want to witness and talk about Jesus; it's just not safe.  However, in the bulk and produce sections of Winco today, I was able to help a man who I feel had been kept away from society for many years. When I told him to "be blessed", he said he was. He smiled and said "I am. I truly am."  I then said something I say to just about anyone who will listen. I said, "Jesus is coming back, and none of this will matter."  He smiled and said "Amen. I wish it was today."  Me too buddy, me too!

    If you make yourself available God will bring you His sheep to tend to. Just keep in mind you are one too.

Photo Credit: Healthline.com

My Opinion on People Who Love Black Licorice.

 Well, according to the all-knowing internet:  People who like black licorice, "Black licorice fans consider themselves more wild and crazy. They like spontaneity and the thrill of adventure and are more likely to be outspoken, freely share their opinions with others, and often feel as though they're going a million miles an hour."  www.licoriceinternational.com. Do I agree? I don't know, I think yeah, I'm rather wild and crazy at times, but I think also there is something to be said about those of us who like the odd-tasting things in life, and or those of us who don't like the taste of sweet sugar in our tea! Ewww...and I'm from the South!

    Black licorice lovers are apt to be brave, outspoken, and energetic, even to the point of being annoying at times. People often think that people who eat black licorice only claim to like it, but secretly only have the ability to stomach it so as to appear to be tougher, meaner, badder, and able to face more conflict. That's another sort of pseudo quote from an unremebered source. I was thinking about this months ago and had a conversation with a former colleague, and they read it somewhere. It's unofficial at best.  Take that with salt or any other seasoning you prefer.

    I think it's funny that someone will even ask me if I like black licorice or red licorice as if I can't like them both. I love them both. They both have their place in my life, and in my heart. I will eat both, and though it may depend on my mood as to which I prefer, I am usually truly loyal to the sticky-tar-like mass of candy (can we call it a candy?) if given a choice to take one or the other. I am a fan of Good and Plenty over the standard basic licorice pieces. I can tell you that. I do like the candy-coated pink and white pill-shaped pieces. They sell those in bulk at Winco. Yes, I do know this, and yes, I do shop this. 

    As far as I can tell, there are two types of people in this world. There are those who love black licorice and those who hate it. You really don't find many who are indifferent to it. I find that people make faces, turn their nose to it, and say nasty things about it, or they simply smile with their hand out. I'm of the ilk to ask for more; I even like NyQuil, which as you may or may not realize, has the flavoring of black licorice or anise in it to mask the medicine taste.  I think we're just a bit odd or different perhaps. The Licorice International folks did a study back in the day and found that only 3% of the surveyed thousands claimed to like black licorice as a kid and that they still like it.  One commenter said only folks over the age of 80 like it, that's not true.

    Growing up I remember very clearly that my mom not only hated it, she told us we hated it, too. I didn't hate it. I loved it. I had this sort of argument going on about it from time to time. She also said Dr. Pepper was made out of prunes. She was either lying to us intentionally or just repeating what others had said about it. Either way, I remember thinking I don't only like black licorice, I wanted it when I saw it, I bought it when I could, and I never had to worry about sharing it - - though you know I always asked. I was raised that way. (you might say I rather enjoyed that cordial chore because I knew their response usually, and it made me smile every time.)  At least I asked!

Photo Credit: Swanson Vitamins

    

Plans Change So Quickly!

 Like the freaking Stock Market, my life has its ups and downs. We call that Day Trading!  I am learning and practicing the high and wonderful traits and skills needed to be both a Day Trader and a Swing Trader. The difference really is time, patience, due diligence, and discipline.  For Day Trading you don't really care too much about the longevity of price, you're more about getting in, either selling or buying, getting out of the market, so you can enter again if the market shifts to the other side. In Swing Trading, you do care. You plan longer, take less risk, take more information (technical and analytical) into consideration, and you wait - - and wait - - and then you wait more.  Day Trading has its perks, nearly instant gratification, but it has its downside as well.  You may lose. We call that "learning" rather than losing. You never really lose, you learn not to fail.

    My life is like one big market right now. I was up, and now I'm down again. I'm about to go into consolidation and change the mode from day-to-day living to more of a strategy using a great deal more technical and analytical research and preparation. I'm about to take the summer off to learn more about Forex Trading and how I can make it my actual profession. This means I have to actually stop working in genuine and live off savings (etc) while I train.  It's not necessarily the best plan, but it is A PLAN.

    I've always said (well, for several years now) that I can only work for myself. EVERY last time I go to work for someone else either as a teacher, an analyst, an investigator, a consultant, or even a legal assistant (and believe me, I have many years behind me in these fields) I find myself out of a job within weeks, or sometimes months. It just breaks me that these employers will hire me, use me to catch them up or get them to a place where they can fly again, and then they release me. It's got to do with my salary requirement; that's all I can think of. Otherwise, I'd still be employed. NOPE. I'm flying solo!!

    Well, for the Summer of 2022 I think it may be best to sit back, relax, do the thing(s) I really want to do, and learn Forex both in and out, up and down, Bull and Bear, Swing and Day Trading. I have my demo account up and running. I've been working it, and I've been doing well on it, so now it's time to strike out and do the real deal but only using pennies, not dollars, until such time I know and can guarantee myself that I know what I'm doing. I won't be satisfied with a 65% win ratio. I want 70% even if the wins are lower than some of the numbers my scalper friends are proudly boasting. I'll get there, but I strongly (VERY STRONGLY) believe in trading the plan, not the emotion. I won't get caught in that rattle. (Yes, I stole that line - - sue me)

    For the next 8-12 weeks I'll live off the savings and study day and night, work the numbers, watch the charts, find the pairs that I think will work for me, and I'll shift the process from demo to reality trading so that I can begin to accumulate actual funding.  By October I should be working it in a more productive manner, and by April I should have enough funds in the account to both move to Scotland on a more permanent basis (9 months out of 12) and travel the other 3 months both in Europe and back to the States so I can satisfy any needed VISA issues. 

    For now, it is a plan. I know my plans have plans. My thinking isn't thinking unless it's overthinking and coming up with any and every scenario possible. I can do this. It will take a minute, but what a fun way to plan my next chapter.  As for that VISA thing; not a problem. I can go the first 6 months without one, the next will be on a research VISA for my book(s) and then a hop back and forth every 6 months for a month keeps the balls in the air as far as that goes - - it's a game, but one worth playing.

Photo Credit: Financial IT

Love Remains. (Dammit)

 If you know me, you know I am outspoken, upfront, blunt, bold, assertive, and in your face when it comes to both telling the truth and being honest about just about anything.  There is simply no reason to beat around bushes (I call that horticultural abuse) and there is absolutely no reason to ever lie about something just to cover your own ass. You either own it, or you don't answer. There's nothing wrong with not answering. You can always say something like, "You know, I would really rather not discuss it".  This helps you maintain your trustworthiness and it helps the other person realize you can choose not to answer a question that may upset the apple cart.  My dad's favorite saying was "Don't upset the apple cart." I guess you'd have to be born in those days to fully understand, but in short, it's best not to be known as a liar just because you didn't want to tell the truth.  Just don't answer!

    I was walking around the complex where I live and a friendly neighbor started to talk to me. I know they can see me in full walk mode, but that never stops any of them from chatting. So the woman asked me about a man I loved a couple of years ago. She wanted to know if I still loved him and if I still prayed for him; she hadn't heard me speaking about him recently.  Well, I suppose I could have lied and said something like "Oh no, he's history. Sorry I didn't let you know, busy I guess!"  I decided to not answer rather than to lie. Even something as personal and none-of-her-damn-business deserved to be addressed. You can't shut people out and expect them to still communicate.  I told her I'd come around in a few minutes after I walked a bit more and I'd answer.  I was secretly hoping she would forget about it and maybe go inside her apartment. That didn't happen.

    As I approached her place I thought I could just walk on, or I could go another way. I also thought I don't have to answer her, I can just pretend she didn't ask. If she asked again, well then maybe I'd say something.  God may not do this to you, but to me He always brings up the fact that I'm supposed to tell the truth no matter what the question is.  I saw my friend and I said to her "OK, about the man, (and yes, I said his name. I don't actually call him "the man") I think I do love him" I told her. I went on to say "I do still love him, and I do still pray for him, but I'm not going to even think of being with him, that's not reality. I think my love is a love for his spirit, his soul, his being rather than as a man." I asked her if that made sense.  She smiled.  She took my hand in her two hands and she said "I like your answer. I'm glad you're not giving up on him. I am glad he'll be in your prayers, that's where he belongs."  

    God has a way, doesn't He? I thought she would say something like "Honey if he's not here holding you at night he's not the one for you to waste your breath on in prayer."  I know a lot of people who would tell me that very thing except that's not the type of love I have for him. I couldn't describe it if I had to because it's not normal, it's not average, it's not routine, it's nothing of this world. It's NOTW, Not of This World. It's a love that was shown to me, and one that was asked of me. It's a love that I simply don't have the authority to release, and I don't have the power to do so either. I guess in the long run we'll find out what comes of it. We're both Christians. The Rapture is real, the coming of Christ will be the tell-tale for sure.  He may not appreciate my prayers but God does. I don't pray to the man anyway, I pray to God through Jesus, and if this man doesn't like it, he can...well, he has no say in the matter. I can pray all damn day if I want to.

    Believe me when I say there are times (very recently in fact) when I did not want to love him. I did not want to be near him or I would have spit on him. I know me. I was and I am quite upset with him, but then again, he's not mine to be upset with. He's not mine to have an opinion about. He's not mine to rule, school, teach, preach to, or even suggest. He's mine through Christ, and Christ alone. I wasn't asked to love, I was invited to, and I accepted the invitation. Love never fails. Even when we fail, love remains. If I needed to hear that more than anyone else I would say it out loud and in a whisper so I could be sure I hear it - - I am the one I'm talking to at this point. Love never fails.  Though the things of this world, the power, the status, the money, all of it will fail, we have the promise of Almighty God that LOVE remains.  Even if we're spitting mad - - Jesus.  Jesus.

    I know it has very little to do with it, but I tell people that Jack Ruby had Dachshunds, and Hitler had a dog or two as well.  Love is good. Even those who are doing wrong will receive love from someone. Love is from God. What we choose to do with that love can be both evil and good - - but God will make that known to those doing evil, just as He will bless and delight those who are choosing to do good.  Love is eternal and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. I guess I'll say "Thank you, Jesus" and continue to pray since that's the best choice there is and it's the choice I was invited to choose. Yeah, I still love him...dammit. 

Photo Credit: Shutterstock.com 88960597

Muscle v. Fat (It's REAL)

 I can't even begin to tell you how hurt and upset I was when I stood on the scale the other day and saw the number that represents the amount of weight I weigh in pounds! I'm going to start referring to my weight in either Kg or in stones because it really is so much lower than the number I saw; the number that was burned into my brain! AGONY!  Oh my goodness, I was upset. I actually sat on the bed crying and I was mostly upset about it because I had been (and have been) both really careful on my intake of calories and the output of energy through walking, dancing, riding my bike, boxing, you name it, I do it - - I jump rope, I climb, hike, ride horses too. About the only thing I can't do is run or jog because of my right knee being so useless, but there I was in absolute disgrace and tears after stepping from the scales. How could that be true?  I'll tell you how it's true. Muscle weighs so much more than fat.

    I know people say that, they say muscle weighs more than fat, but I thought really they were just saying that to make their friends feel better when they were asking "Do I look fat in these jeans?" You know, it was something or is something people say to be nice really, not making a show of the fact that they really wanted to say "You could stand to put the ice cream bar down and pick up a dumbbell every now and again." The problem with that would be that I've given up the ice cream and I've been working out so I don't get it!!  Now, I get it.

    After researching it for real, and then going back over it again, I can tell you with both confidence and authority that muscle really does weigh more than fat!  You can't say a pound of muscle is the same as a pound of fat without realizing that the measure you mentioned is the same...it's a POUND. A pound of feathers weighs the same as a pound of lead. A pound is a pound is a pound.  A cup of fat however weighs so much less than a cup of dense muscle. I just didn't realize how much more muscle actually weighed until I sat my dermatologist down and asked her to dig out her college manuals to show me! It didn't do her any good to try and convince me with her head knowledge. She's incredibly smart, but I wanted to see it in writing! Something about it being in print made it more real I suppose.  There it was!! 

    Basically, the example given in the textbook was that two people of the same sex could be the same height and weight but one could wear a dress size or jean size much larger than the other due to the fluffy fat content of their body.  The more fit person, whose muscles are dense and compact, would and could wear clothes that are much smaller. The example was that of two women both 45 years of age, standing 5'5" and weighing 150 pounds.  One woman wore a size 14 dress and the other wore a size 6 dress. WOW...that makes so much more sense now, and I had to pack away the tissue because I'm no longer crying about it. I am also no longer wearing a size 18 dress or jeans. I'm wearing a size 12 and on my way to wearing a size 10. I weigh more now than I did a year ago, a lot more. I weigh 14 pounds more, an entire stone more than I did a year ago. I thought it was supposed to go down to my "goal weight" but it didn't. I'm on my way to my goal size instead.

    When all is said and done, maybe in about 3 months or so, I will be in my size 8 jeans if I can find a way to get rid of the belly fat.  The hardest part of the entire body transformation is this belly! I'm doing literally everything I can to reduce it. I'm doing aerobic training, I'm taking raspberry ketones, I'm drinking green tea, using all the right methods - - it's coming off but so so so slowly. I may end up resorting to having surgery to get rid of the visceral fat I can't control or shed. I have been battling this for years and it may be time to call in the professionals. I'm doing all I can before that happens, but I won't let it stand in my way of meeting my personal goals.  NOPE.

    I did notice that I'm lifting weights while I watch YouTube videos. That's something I never did before. I am also walking upward and over 7 miles a day for the most part. I always do 5.5 miles, but I push for the last 1.5 if I can.  I used to be really happy with 3 miles a day. Now I think that's slacking off and I get that before noon. When you're working toward a goal you put in the work or you don't. It's either yes or no. To not do it to the fullest is to say no. It's do or don't do for me. You don't have to be this way, it's just me, but that's the way I've always been. Yoda and I see things the same way. Do or don't do, there is no try.

    OK that's about it for now, I'm about 30 minutes behind in my walking today but there was a huge rain storm, so there's that. Usually, when that happens I go to the store to walk, but we couldn't get out of the driveway to even do that!! Oh well, it is what it is. There's always another way to get the body moving. I can dance!  My poor neighbors. They know when I'm up here working out and punching the bag and they know when I'm dancing. At least I'm smiling when we pass each other in the commons!!

Photo Credit:  Real Mentor

Sorry. Not Sorry. Stop the Negative.

 Recently a man I know from the internet posted a meme about being grateful vs. being negative.  The meme showed about 6 or 7 different ways you could say something to someone in such a way as to leave the apologies out and add in a more grateful attitude. This works on so many levels.  The first one I remember was instead of saying "I'm sorry I'm late" a person would say "Thanks for waiting on me. Time got away from me."  Another good one would be, instead of saying "I know I complain a lot, but..." a person could say "You're always there to listen to me when I need to vent. Thank you."  Firstly, it just makes more sense (common sense) not to be negative all the time. We attract what we put out there. We bring to us what we bring.  If we carry baggage with us from years back and constantly talk about it over and over again, we not only relive it, we force everyone else to relive it as well. STOP! I don't want to have to be bold, blunt, or forward about it, but I don't wish to be a part of your pity party!

    I've not had the opportunity really to hire many people, when I was an employer I hired my own kids to assist me in my family insurance business.  I would, however, if I were to become an employer, wish for each and every last employee of mine to be both upbeat and positive. If I sensed negativity, overt apologizing, untimeliness, or even so much as cowering from a candidate who was applying for a job, I would not choose that candidate. I don't want that type of attitude near me, I certainly wouldn't want it near my business or my other employees.  Negative breeds quickly. Negativity is quite fertile!  It takes JUST as much energy to be positive as it does to be negative about an issue or situation. In fact, it may take more energy to constantly have to be down about something to the point of being a great drag! Who wants that?

    Yes, I know there are those who are depressed. Yes,  I am fully aware that people go through trauma, that they deal with it differently, that they need time to process, and I know that it's not going to happen overnight.  What I am saying is, if I were employing someone, and making a decision about who to hire, I would pick someone less obviously negative because it would and could have an impact on my business and that would eventually impact my livelihood. I'm not willing to sacrifice that for someone who can't control their emotions or bring a positive outlook to the forefront. I'm not saying I wouldn't personally care about that person, or that I wouldn't try to be there for that person if I could, but as an employer, I have more to think about than one person's self-appreciation issues. 

    Before you get upset with me, thinking I'm a total boo-bear and that I don't care about those with true mental health issues, please note that I am not saying that these things aren't real. They are real, but there are so many who refuse to become better. There are those who stay in the wallow and who choose to be down when they know they can lift themselves from the pits. There are those who need more help, yes, but there are so many who have through lifestyle and habit, chosen to be an Eyore when they could be a Tigger, a Pooh, even a damn Rabbit, but enough is enough and if it is within you to make a change you should do so if for NO OTHER REASON, but that it benefits YOU to be positive. You can't argue with me if I say it sounds better to say "Thank you" than it does to apologize constantly. 

    My son Reuben is training to become a First Sgt. in the Army (OKANG).  He was born with a blood type of B+.  I love to hear him tell people who don't know this fact, and who are questioning why it is that he's always smiling and seemingly over the top about a routine military chore, why he is so gleeful.  He smiles and gives them a wink before saying "I was born B+, I don't have a choice, do I?"  If it were always that simple we'd all be happy people.  There's something to be said about that though. We may not have B+ blood running through our veins, but I don't think that people with 0- blood are negative; it is truly a choice we make. We can't keep blaming the past, or the past experiences, or the past letdowns. We can't continue to think nothing will come of anything because it hasn't before now. MAKE THAT CHANGE! No, it's NOT easy - - yes, it requires more than words. Begin slow, steady, easily, and make a change or two every day - - note the fact that you have made changes, and build on it.

    Another point on the meme that I remember was this one, it said, "Thank you for being my friend" the person doesn't need to go on and talk about how they never had friends in the past, how they weren't allowed to have friends, how friends treated them poorly, and so forth. Know when to stop talking and just enjoy the company of another person willing to be there with you. If you continue to push the negative even the really strong-minded and good-natured person will consider it a lost cause to always have to remind you to be more positive.  Do the work for them, do the work for yourself. Treat yourself with the respect you deserve so that others will do the same. YOU are the one that must first create the need and the purpose in your own life -- saying THANK YOU more often can actually make a huge difference. 

      In some offices there is a sign in the kitchen or breakroom that reads "Your mother doesn't work here, clean up your own mess."  Well, it would stand to reason that a sign like that could hang in your head as well. Your mother doesn't live in this space. Your monkey, your circus...stop the crazy, and be thankful you woke up! Be grateful you have breath. Thankfulness is truly a gift you give yourself first. It's a good place to start.  What happened years ago was in fact, years ago.  Every day you are given a new opportunity to be the better and more opportunistic person you can be. Make it happen rather than cursing that it doesn't happen.  You're welcome.  (By the way, I'm a Tigger)

Photo Credit: The Oklahoma Blood Institute