Jude Stringfellow's Blog, page 71

Rescinded. (Not Cool)

 A friend showed me today something that I knew, but maybe I wasn't really willing to look hard enough to make it stick in my head.  She showed me a map of the United States as it pertains to educational levels and ranking. Guess where the State of Oklahoma fares on that map?  We are dead last at #50!  We are the WORST state as far as implementing our educational instruction to students. I know why, I absolutely know why, but we're not allowed to say it. We're not allowed to voice our opinion or show vital evidence as to why it is that kids in Oklahoma (and most all of our states) can't and won't receive a good education.  We can't say it because it's considered racist. We can't say it because it would mean admitting our folly.  We can't say it because the higher-ups will only poo-poo us, fire us for saying so, and nothing will be achieved. NOPE...just let the kids stay ignorant, that's their plan, it would seem.

    Yesterday, I had the privilege of running into a student I had taught at an inner urban district. I hadn't seen the kid in three years. I hardly recognized him, he had grown so tall. He recognized me immediately and gave me a hug. "Dr. Stringfellow!" he said, "I thought I would never see you again, someone said you moved to Scotland!"  He's not wrong, I almost moved to Scotland a few times between 2018 and now.  He and I talked for about thirty minutes really, and he had things to say about his education. He thanked me for being a hard-ass teacher. He claimed out of the several teachers he had in high school, I was the ONLY one who demanded that he get his work turned in and that it be complete.  He said without me encouraging him to read he would not have, and now he reads about a book every two weeks just for fun.

    After he left the school in 2018 he decided to not return to classroom study, but to take the rest of his courses online. The Pandemic helped with that decision of course, but by that time he was already involved with learning through online coursework.  He graduated in 2021 and has been going to college recently, and again, he chose to do it online for the cost and convenience.   When I told the kid that I had just accepted a position with a federally run program up north of our city, he knew exactly where I would be teaching. He laughed and said "Yeah, with my attitude and everything, if I had not chosen to finish online my parents were going to make me go there! It would have been funny to have you as my teacher again! I would love that."  He was a typical kid with angst, no worse, no better than most, but he was smart. I liked that one. He had potential.

    The thing is, I don't have that job up north now. Today, the HR department decided that since the State hadn't gotten around to giving me my updated license to teach, they would offer the job to someone who had the license in hand. WHAT? Are they nuts? Just because it hasn't been processed doesn't mean it's not binding, legal, and authentic.  They didn't want to "take the chance" of being audited by the same state or even the Department of Labor and they claimed if they were I would have to have a copy of the license framed and posted. I have a COPY of it, but the state is 8-12 weeks behind in processing, and they can't give me the original. That is NO REASON to rescind an offer? Not when I've already turned other offers down, and I've paid for the renewal of the license on their word that I had the job. I am FURIOUS with these people.

    I guarantee you they are going to offer the position to someone who doesn't care and won't care, and won't find ways to encourage the students to do their work. They'll pick an introvert who can't find their ass from a paperweight, one who won't get off their bum and walk around the room to help the students. How do I know this? Because 90% of our teaching staff is like that in our state. We have so many couch coaches and so many don't-bother-me-I'm-on-my-phone teachers, that the kids are forced to find answers on their own phones, and most of the time they give up after a minute and go back to playing games or looking at things they shouldn't be engaged in looking at in the first place. This state has REAL PROBLEMS and they won't let us say anything or do anything to fix it.

    What could we do? Well, to begin with, only allow students into an English-speaking and taught classroom who have the ability to speak, read, and write in English. If they can't, they need to have other facilities for them to learn so they can participate rather than pulling the scores down collectively for the entire school, district, state, region, and even at the national level. Did I say that out loud? I did. The next thing(s) they could do is limit the classroom sizes to 20 maximum, and level those students out to have the more progressive students in one class, while the others are categorized into classes with students who are at the same level so that the teacher isn't trying to teach 11 levels in one classroom! It's impossible! Don't give a damn about people thinking a child is singled out. If they can't meet the cut, they go to another classroom where they can!  

    They could also enforce discipline and consequences for poor behavior and poor performance, you know like we had when we were growing up? When Oklahoma wasn't number 50 out of 50 in educational rank.  Discipline and accountability for performance is what is utilized in Japan, China, Russia, Israel, Germany, and many other countries that produce great scientists, writers, and mathematicians. It's crazy to me that they even allow the Arts or sports to any child who can't read or write at the school grade level he or she is enrolled into. Why would we want students to yes, WASTE THEIR TIME, on Arts and/or sports if they can't first read, write, and do simple or basic Math?  Arts are GREAT and should be taught but not to those who can't muster enough common knowledge to even survive in the big bad ugly world. If they can achieve at their stated school grade levels, by all means, introduce them to the Arts. They can only become better by doing so.

    Who am I?  I only have a Ph.D. in Leadership of Higher Education. I may as well be spitting in the wind before thinking the people in the position will do something will do anything whatsoever. We have one-third of the teachers this year waiting for the State to do their job. One whole third of the teachers in the WORST educational state, just waiting to be given their certificates so they can teach. One-third will not be hired or allowed into the rooms until they have their certificates. We can't force the State to push them. We can't do anything but wait, but you would THINK that those in a position to do something would REALIZE that we are still certified. We just don't have the PAPER in our HANDS. We have the education in our hearts and our minds and the experience(s) on our resumes.  Torpedoes be damned! I'm so sick and tired of the chaos and the moronic mindset that those with positions have, while those of us with the willingness to make a difference are told to sit this one out.

    Let me tell you about another student I ran into last week. She was in another class, another year from the kid I saw at the mall, but she was nevertheless my student.  She didn't and wouldn't speak English. She refused. She faked or cheated her way through classes. I stopped her in my class. She was expelled from my class after I proved more than 10 times (ten) that she was cheating. It took 10 times before they decided to move her to another class, where she cheated of course, but she was not called out for it.  Where did I see her? She was waiting tables at the restaurant I was eating at. I left her a tip of course, and in her native tongue, she thanked me.  She used broken English to tell me she has five children now. She has no husband and this is her own means of employment. I was kind, but I was firm. I told her to go back to school and learn a skill.  She told me TO MY FACE, that she would but she doesn't speak English well enough to go to college because college professors can insist on students speaking English. (Yes, we can)

    I'm not being mean. I'm not being nasty. I want a good education for everyone, literally EVERYONE to be given the best education, but that will not happen if we don't do something about it right now! We have to get off our own stupid asses and fix this before it turns in the bottle and all we have left is the damn dead worm! Will I be heard? No.  Why won't I be heard? Because there's still money being given to school districts who crank out what they can without checking to see if they have the ability to even know how to spell Oklahoma!

    

Photo Credit: Lumenlearning.com

Naming the Characters in the Murder Book

 This part can be tricky.  You don't want to just come out and say the name of the person or persons on who you base (some of) your characters, you want to allude to them rather than state it. For instance, I wouldn't call the dead guy Steve. Steve is just so...used. It's not a name that would stand out, but then again, the guy taking his last step over the edge of the cliff at the start of the book isn't really known. He's in fact rather bland. He's made mistakes, he's lied, but he's not quite popular enough to be any more than just a corpse, so maybe I will call him Steve. Is Steve a Scottish name? The man is a life-long Edinburgh citizen, born just before the 20th century. I may even allow him the courtesy of having been born in a hospital. Maybe he'll be less exotic than some, but not as blase as "Steve".  We know his wife, the "Plain Jane" isn't really called Jane. She'll be given a suitable boring name for her suitably boring existence. She did murder a man, so there's that, but she's otherwise as entertaining as mud. 

    Niki, my friend Niki, is in the book, as are my friends Jeannie and Robin. They will have to be given great names. Niki is Greek. We say she's "Greekian", so she'll be given a Greek name suitable and worthy of a more mature woman who runs a tavern and digs up dirt to share with the locals.  Vibrant and mysterious, a Greek goddess to some, at least one, (oh my, a clue) she will be honored with both a good name and a good position.  Jeannie is an American, she's exciting, she's fun, she travels, and she is the life of the party on the ship that leaves New York harbor for Glasgow.  She may even find the murder weapon that Nick is accused of using; one he may have tried to hide before returning to the shores of the mob-ridden city where he did or didn't do what others say took place.  Robin will probably be named Robin. It's a good solid British name.  Robin is both an American and a citizen of the UK, she is married to a handsome horseman, and together they ride, rescue, and rehabilitate old racing horses. How exactly does that fit into the murder? You'll just have to read more to find out, won't you?

    Most of the names of the characters are already known to me. I am not going to put too much of an effort into the names of the peripheral people who either show up and make arrests, hold court, or are witnesses in the case(s).  I will try to keep their faces straight so that if there is a movie made, no one will look too much like the other guy. There won't be a Tommy Lee Jones type because Nick Posh is rather hard, rather smug, and rather tainted. He's not as handsome as other men, but his body language drives women to dream of him, and a few to approach him. Niki may have a thing with Nick; that could be fun. I think he does play guitar, so there's that. Remember the guitar was left behind when soon-to-be-not-named-Steve took a header over the cliff.  He may not be the brightest bulb out there, but he set the thing down to relieve himself.  She survived.

    After the names will be the actions. I'm developing more every day and changing what I initially thought should happen.  I've got to come up with the name and characteristics of the man Nick is accused of killing. I have to tie him into the mix and create a creative way of disposing of his body. I think Dunbar had an expensive hotel on its shores at that time. I'll check to see if there was a back entrance to the kitchen. I'd not want the guests to feast on him necessarily, but it would make good conversation at trial; the faces of the witnesses could be priceless.  There will be no hiding or challenges with "Steve". He simply hits the ground thudding, tumbles, and breaks painfully.  The book isn't about him, but he'll be remembered, not only for the way he ended but for the exposure of his sins during his wife's trial prep. I have already decided she may never make the docket - - did I mention she had family in Glasgow? 

Photo Credit: Pinterest.co.uk

Character Flaws (We've all got them)

 As I'm building my novel, the one I call the "Murder Book", I have to be honest and say that I'm not completely sure I want to make some of the characters as cliche as they may already be developing.  I mean, I have a "Plain Jane" type woman whom I haven't named yet. She's Scottish, possibly from up around Aberdeen, I think I want her to have a Doric accent.  She's taller, thinner, and somewhat strong physically, as she's the one who pushes her bi-sexual husband over the edge of Arthur's Seat.  She'd have to have some sort of backstory to explain her abilities to do it. Maybe she works on the wharf. Maybe she's in healthcare and handles some of the larger more dense patients when others can't.  Maybe, just maybe, she's boring to look at, boring to speak to, boring to hang with, and her husband found as many excuses as he could to be away from home. Maybe.  I haven't decided.

    The year is 1931, and the story's locations span the globe from Chicago to Edinburgh, but there will be at least a layover in New York City's harbor area. The characters travel by ship rather than aeroplane; there has to be some romantic encounter at sea. I don't believe the wife would or could handle a torrid sexual affair, but the man could - - Nah, it will probably end up being my detective Nick Posh who has the love scene(s).  Nick is full, chock full, of character flaws, believe me. He himself is suspected of murder in a town just east of Edinburgh called Dunbar. Dunbar is a coastal city really, with plenty of great hubs and piers to hide a body if one needed to. Remember, it's not the act of murder, but the disposal of the body that really matters. Nick is a pro. He both tends to business and he knows his business. His return to Scotland wasn't accidental, discovering the body of the singer-songwriter was in fact, accidental.  

    The murder was just that, a murder. It really isn't the focus of the book. I still haven't decided if I'll keep the singer dead or have him found by Nick's terrier-dog "Hyde" (for Hyde Park) maybe three days after the fall. Maybe Hyde pisses on the man's face and we see him twitch? I may just leave him dead. He's not a good guy. He's not a truthful guy anyway. He lied to his wife, their families, the church, the parishioners, and the folks who tuned into their radios to hear him singing live at various times throughout the years.  Most Christians would have little to do with the man in 1931.  Should I throw in a bit of repentance? Maybe some tolerance? Should he be forgiven or given another chance? How many character flaws can one recovering addict have?

    The murder isn't the focus of the book. It's hardly a part of the book at all. It's like the first three minutes of a good cop show where the real or meaningful characters gather for the intel to be shown and seen; the real story is how Nick can find a way to escape returning to the scene of a previous murder and solve the one he found without being caught; without being another tight white curl on the Lord Justice's powdered wig! Nick's ability to weave in and out of trouble is amazing. For years he's avoided being connected to the gangster life of Glasgow by hiding in and/or around Edinburgh. When the mood hits him, or the timing is right, he books an overseas board on whatever ship is sailing at whatever hour is best to make his exit. Can there be a bribe offered for the Lord Justice this time?  We'll have to see.

    One thing is for sure, the singer-songwriter has run out of hymns and prayers with me. His best bet now is to cry to God before he gives up that last breath of his. The pen is not the sword they say, no sir, it is far more brutal and carries with it deeper cuts than any blade.  You may have pissed off your Plain Jane and received your rightful judgment; it was my pleasure as the author to see to it that the docket never carries her name within its bounds. Perhaps meaningless is just that, meaningless. Of no consequence whatsoever.  We'll have to see.

Photo Credit: AustralianDogLover.com

New Plot Twist for the Murder Book (fiction)

 You know how you're just looking through old connections, wondering how they have been after several months or even years? You start to think things like "Did I know they were that handsome?" or maybe "Were they always gay, or did I just never see it?"  Truth is often stranger than fiction, but I think I'll let truth have this one. I'll add the truth to the book so that in so doing the world at large can do their own due diligence as I have; they can find out the dark and torrid secrets that hang just behind the grey eyes of the fallen master who once held one of the highest of positions in his church.

    Mind you, the master, as I may call him, didn't start out at the top! No, his was a sorted story to be sure. There were years of self-abuse, family corruption, pain, and suffering from his inability to face who he was and what he wanted to be. Rather than standing firmly in a decision, he chose to hide and to drag countless others into the charade! It's no wonder he ended up taking a head-long plunge over the cliffs of Arthur's Seat at the hands of his homely "Plain Jane" wife, who while she knew he was gay, had also kept his secrets and the truth now shown so dingy and tacky upon her reputation as well.  Better a dead husband who no one knows has lied than to let him tell all and jam her gears as well.  The year was 1931 after all and homosexuality was still both an offense against the Crown, but also quite disgusting in the eyes of most civil-minded in Edinburgh!

    Was it just that he was gay? Could that be enough of a reason for the petty-minded soon-to-be-widowed wife to shove her glorified babysitter over the edge? She never really loved him, but he was useful in some ways. When she found him wallowing in the streets from drunkenness and from long-standing opium addiction, he was at least grateful to be inside, being fed was nice, even if it did mean he had to sleep beside her and pretend he was attracted. Her young son was fun enough and who knows, over time perhaps he could be "useful" as well. Could she have even imagined the influence her new husband would have on her boy? Was it safe to leave them alone? Was it true what the boy tried to explain a few times? Were they just "games" between "father" and son? I'd have cut him hard before the push! I might have even called the cops myself to admit I did it; I rid the world of yet another grotesque child molester! She couldn't face herself. She simply walked away.  No one even noticed. 

    Just before the end, just before her hands last felt the hardness of his flesh as she heaved with all she had, she remembered a letter her husband had written to her son as he was graduating from prep school. It said something about how brave the boy was; how he was in fact the "bravest man I know", and the thing is, he was hardly a man! The fact that her son had decided to live the life of a decadent was not necessarily appalling to the woman, but she couldn't convince him that good Christians would wrestle constantly with the Spirit inside of them if they were Christians at all. The boy wasn't wrestling with anyone. Was her husband? It didn't seem like he was to her -- it seemed as if he had set the stage for the boy.

    There wasn't even so much as a thud. She waited long enough by the side of the crag, to be sure he wouldn't be able to get a grasp and hold onto something or somehow manage to stand or climb back to the top. There wasn't much of a chance of his surviving the fall. She had truly meant to kill him.  In the shadow of the twilight skies, however, she hadn't noticed that he had sat his guitar down; he had laid it against the side of a tree. Though his crumpled body may soon be found, bloodied and broken, at least the innocent one would be spared. The music would live on. The notes would be played by someone, someone else whose fingers were not as deceptive as his when the old hymns were strummed across six inviting strings. 

    He ruined everything, she thought. He didn't deserve to share in this life now. Hadn't she saved him from the streets? Hadn't she given him a roof over his head, food, love, not to mention a child of his own? Would their daughter now wonder if her father was even telling the truth when he'd hold her and tell her he loved her? Was this new life he was choosing more important to her? She was only a child, but she would have questions. She would grow up believing Daddy jumped. Why should the little girl lose two parents over the choices of one? 

DISCLAIMER:  No, this wasn't about you, Tex!  It's fiction.

Photo Credit: Stargatecinema.com

Chatters

 I finally found the button (or toggle) I needed to employ on Instagram to stop the would-be chatters from phishing while chatting with me. It's just been amazing how many single men in their 40s, 50s, and 60s, have been writing to me who are all widowed, and who are all either in the military, or they happen to be surgeons. Wouldn't you know it, they all have children who are of tender ages still.  Even the ones you could allege would be at least 60 years of age and have daughters (never sons) who are 8 or 9 years old. They either have private accounts so you can't see their 17 posts, or they have several (usually under 10) posts all of which were posted within the past couple of days.  Oh yes, there's the rub!  New accounts, lame photos of these seriously rich and handsome men, standing in front of exotic cars, brightly colored vacation spots, or beside their pools with a cool drink. GIVE ME A FREAKIN' BREAK!

    I suppose there are millions if not hundreds of millions of women on Instagram (and now Twitter is being hit up with them too) who are just waiting and hoping to meet up with these disguised idiots who think and feel that they have even the slightest chance in Hell speaking to me after they start their first initial introduction piece with "Hello Dear" or "You're so beautiful".   Take a number, or better yet, go fly a kite! Wasn't that polite? I could have said something more dramatic, but in case my grandkids are reading this I don't want them to know exactly how rude their Gramma can be. These phishers are not necessarily bots, but they have no good reason to write to me. If any of them, and I mean ANY ONE of them had taken two minutes to read through my posts they'd know straight up I don't play that game...or any other game for that matter. I'm not the nicest Belle at the Ball. I don't even go to Balls, but I'll cut off a pair if I need to.

    About a year ago I began writing up posts that clearly state I don't chat. That didn't help.  I then began blocking anyone and everyone who tried to follow me if they had a private account. If I can't see their posts, they aren't going to see mine. I didn't join Instagram to date. I didn't join it to chat. I didn't join it to get to know anyone better, become friends, or hang out. I'm not about to get on an app to exchange information. I'm not giving up my bank information. I'm not getting anyone out of trouble, or allowing them to put their money in my bank just long enough for it to clear customs! Why women (or men) fall for these lines I'll never know. Why people have allowed themselves to be so lonely as to think that even one of these schozes could be real, I don't know. It's so blatantly obvious to anyone with a brain that they are con-men, users, and probably from Russia, Romania, or China, somewhere where their broken English is acceptable. 

    The ones that really chap my butt are the ones claiming falsely of course, to be military, and not just any military, they are claiming to be AMERICAN military. I shut them down faster than any others. I turn them in to the FBI and other authorities as well for Valor Theft as well as cyber false statements. Did you know when you sign up for these social media sites you pledge to tell the truth? You do, so when you get caught in felon lies it can actually work against you. I don't know if the leads ever get followed, I don't know if Homeland Security is keeping the records, but I send them every time. I can't stand it when someone tries to say they are from the precious and most wonderfully protective military in the world when they are cowards, liars, thieves, and more.  Don't even get me started.

    Just so they know, and I hope they do, I will never date someone online. I won't chat with them, I won't try to find out even what their favorite color is because I do not care. I used to say we can talk about Forex, but you know what, I don't want to even do that. I found the toggle switch that lets me SHUT OFF their ability to write to me or send messages and that's a great thing. Hopefully, it should stop. I hope it does. I mean, I realize there may actually be someone who wants to get to know me for real, but after they read the 3500+ posts and my blogs, they'll find out I'm not only a stubborn, hard-headed woman with conservative and Christian views, I'm just not that nice - - I think I said that before, but it bears witness again. Nope, not this woman. I make up my mind, I spend my money, I do what I want to do, and there isn't a man out there that I would listen to if I didn't want to....it is what it is. My son has first shot at trying to get me to do what he thinks is good for me. My Daddy is in Heaven.  That narrows the list down to ONE (besides Jesus).

ENJOY!  There's not a single reason I would change my mind. MOVE FORWARD.

    

This man! This man, and this man ONLY. Discussion closed.

Hoop Jumping!

 If hoop jumping was a sport I would be an All-Star!  It never ceases to amaze me how other people can get away with not working but I usually end up doing not only my own job but their job(s) as well.  I end up finding the way, pushing the agenda and making things happen. I never sit around waiting on things to happen. If it can be expedited I'm on it! Today, was no exception!

    I am working toward being hired again as a teacher, but this time as more of an instructor and through a federally run program. It isn't the same as being a teacher for an independent school district where the principal and/or superintendent can abuse their employee without being held appropriately accountable for having done so. The reason more and more teachers are walking out of their school districts is not because the kids refuse to learn, but because their administration has not only tied their hands behind them in terms of being able to actually teach, the administration(s) do not back up their professionally trained employees when the teachers bring adverse information to the front office!  When kids are allowed to spit, have tantrums, throw things, cuss out a teacher, push or lay hands on a teacher, there is a real issue.  What I received as a "warning" from the admin when I turned kids in for gross misbehavior, was to go back into the room and either find a way to deal with the issue or leave. I guess we all know what happened.  I left!  I am NOT alone.

    The hoops I am jumping through now deal with the State Department of Education being so backlogged that they can't get the teaching certificates into our hands before the beginning of the academic year.  It is NOT our fault as educators that the State can't hire enough people or make those who are working from home actually do their job.  I was literally told by a supervisor at the State that they are 8-12 weeks behind in their work due to employees refusing to do more than the very base minimum and they cannot or will not enforce a mandated regulation as to how much work is expected. This is so freaking liberal that it makes me sick to my stomach!  To think that literally 1/3 of the teachers in Oklahoma will not be starting on time this year due to the State not being able to enforce regulations is beyond me. I say FIRE THEM ALL and start over with regulations and expectations of these employed ADULTS!  The WOKE younger set is really digging America into a hole!

    I've had to call the State, leave messages, and wait. When they don't call back, I call them back. I write more messages, and I don't stop annoying them until someone takes the time to actually listen to me. Then I have to force them to add to my certificate the information that is required; I have to prove my status because they can't or won't use their own government database from home! I have to contact my soon employer to tell him/her to send a message to the State themselves because the State won't accept the message from me. I have to explain this as if I am the authority because the STATE won't get off their butts to make the calls or send the messages to the employers to say the requests must come from the employer not the teacher! 

    The STATE demanded that the TEACHERS report their hours of professional development to the State, but the teachers were never given those hours by their employers. The State never demanded the schools to send that information to the database, nor did they make it a mandate to give the hours (in writing) to their teachers, but yet, the State demands that the teacher have it in writing from their school districts. Do you see my point? I then have to call the school and have the poor secretary go back over old logs and old books to prove I had the professional hours, but the secretary then tells me she doesn't have time. I inform her/him that I will have to report them to the State for non-compliance. This is a rat race! This is absurd and I'm telling you, I'm really tired of this crap! I need to be in charge!

    If the State requires it from the teachers then the State needs to make it mandatory for the schools to record and upload those hours so that a teacher can access it from his or her human resource page(s) on the website, or it could be sent to them upon request. There should be a TIME LIMIT on when the request will be filled as well, as it is NOT the teacher's fault that these schools are not doing what is MANDATED or expected.  We are just people, and when we separate from a district the principals and secretaries are not happy about it. They don't and won't cooperate with us in order to fulfill a State requirement. IT MUST STOP.

    I'm not sure I can force anyone to do their job, but I sure can make a fuss, and I can go to the Board Meetings, I can go to the public forums, I can talk and I can bring the news media into the mix if that's what is necessary.  We need to be a unified group, not at each other's throats because we disagree politically about something.  Kids need to be taught behavior at home, and if they can't be taught at home and they are forced to behave at school, the districts need to uphold that and not blame a teacher or say she/he is a bully when they are tired of being kicked, hit, punched, spat on, cussed out, and otherwise disrespected. It is NOT OK to treat professionals this way. Any other profession would never allow it. Can you imagine what would happen if a dental patient spat on the dentist? Can you imagine what would happen if a medical patient cussed out their surgeon? Teachers are the front line of education. Literally, ALL IGNORANCE begins with and can be solved with education!

    I'm super excited about going back into the classroom and I am looking forward to being with a group of really great professionals who not only back the teachers but have the kids' backs as well.  We want these students to achieve. We want them to go forward, and because of it, we don't tolerate the misbehavior they put out when they were in independent school districts. This is their last chance to become good citizens, and I thank God I am going to be a part of that. JUST AS SOON as the damn State can get the paperwork in order - - I paid for it, I should be able to use my receipt as proof that it's a done deal, but no, I have to wait until someone somewhere is told by someone else that it's done. I need to be in charge, I really really do.

Photo Credit: Atriumset.com

Touring with Joakim - Part 2 (Norman!!)

 Laura was pretty busy today with personal commitments so I took Joakim to the best place in Oklahoma to see Sooner things; I took him to Norman, OK.  There, we visited the National Weather Center where NOAA, the National Oceanic Atmospheric Administration is, and Norman just happens to be the home of the great University of Oklahoma!  He loved it all.  First, when we went to the National Weather Center, with it being a Sunday, we didn't know if it would even be open to him to be able to see what it looks like inside. The thing is, he's with me.  When you're with me, sometimes you just walk through open doors. I used to crawl through windows, but I don't do that anymore.  Doors need to at least be cracked open a bit now, and it was. We went inside.  I told him we'd stay until we were asked to leave. He agreed. We stayed about five minutes!  The guard was really nice.

    He took photos of the inside of it, and I took photos of him being inside of it so he could brag about it when he gets back home and all of his weather buddies will see that he really did go to Norman, OK and he really did go inside the National Weather Center and see NOAA!  We have to brag sometimes about something, so why not that? It was actually my first time going inside the building as well.  It has a few really cool-looking gizmos, let me tell you!

    After NOAA we hit up the campus of the University of Oklahoma.  You can't visit Norman, OK, and not go to the stadium! C'mon now. We're civilized folk, you know. We have six (6) Heisman trophy winners from our university, and they are all captured in bronze outside the Memorial Stadium that houses about 80,000 of your closest friends on any given Saturday in Autumn.  We walked around a bit, but with 102-degree weather, it was too hot to really do more than just a brief glance around the place.  Next, we headed up to Denny's restaurant so we could have a great lunch. He had the steak, I had pancakes!!  You can do breakfast all day at Denny's and the portions are wonderful. 

    After lunch, I informed Joakim that he would be face-to-face with the best-looking man ever to walk the face of the Earth, and I hoped he was OK with it.  He laughed, but then later admitted that my son was in fact an amazingly handsome man. No one has said otherwise!  He enjoyed meeting Reuben and his wife Josie. He was able to see how Josie decorated the house in true Americana style. He loved it. We headed off to the mall, but not before we visited a western store called Atwood's. I tell people Atwood's is half livestock and half human. You can get your feed, tack, and medicines there for animals, but you can buy boots, hats, guns, and ammo as well.  He hadn't really handled a gun before today, not really, and he was able to do that. He didn't get to shoot it though. We may have to go to the gun range someday. It may be a few visits down the road.

    After Atwoods we walked the mall in Norman to not only show him the smaller pleasures of middle-class living but also to get my steps in! I can't really walk at night right now due to the heat, so we put in about 5000 steps or so there. That was really great.  He had never seen rolling animal carts that people here rent to trolly around the mall when their kids are really tired or just want to have fun. The little slow-moving trolly-type carts are dressed up as bears, lions, elephants, and such, and they are just really fun for kids to ride and wave at people. We always try to make it as fun as we can for the kids when we see them.

    Home it was!! Eventually, all things come to an end, but we did stop by Sonic for a cold one before taking him back to the hotel.  You're not going to do yourself a favor if you visit Oklahoma and don't visit Sonic at least a couple of times. I bought him a slushie and we headed back! He can't say he didn't have a very fun day. I may not be the most entertaining tour guide, but I did make him laugh, told him lots of stories, and let him know about Jesus.  You can't come to Oklahoma and visit me without hearing about Jesus, it's a thang - - my thang!  Gonna happen.

    Overall, I think it's fun having guests for a few days. It would be exhausting if I had to do it for a living, but I bet I'd be really good at it if I did get paid to do it. I could maybe even manage a costume or two. LOL...just kidding. It is FAR too hot to even think about it - - nope, just going with the shorts and t-shirts. I think the most important takeaway from today's visit(s) is that he has photos of himself at OU's Memorial Stadium and with the bronze statues of our 6 Heisman trophy winners. He's been to the NOAA, the Lloyd Noble Center, and he met the most handsome man to ever walk the face of the Earth! Not everyone can say that - - he can.

Good day!!  Good company!!

Joakim with Baker Mayfield!!

Photo Credit: Me

Touring With Joakim!

 If you ever come to visit (first, I have to know you) you'll be subjected to doing what real Oklahomans do, not necessarily what the world thinks we do.  I mean sure, there will be horses involved; that's a given.  We took Joakim (I call him Dwight because "Jo-a-kim", when you say it out loud sounds like "Yoakum") around the city again today. He's here from Sweden to visit Laura and since she's not the happiest of campers when it comes to driving, I drive.  He's not a driver at all, so there's going to have to be a day when I take him to the parking lots and let him try. That's something he can't do in Sweden!

    Today, we went to Alligator Alley, a famously wonderful little shop that houses a few interesting reptiles including actual alligators. You can get right up next to them (they are in sealed tanks) and you can see for yourself why it is that you don't want an alligator as a pet.  The store is a go-to when you want a lizard, snake, tortoise, or even a ferret. I told you, I think I told you, yesterday, that we took Joakim to the pet store. We do that. We go to pet stores a lot!  Laura has her lizards and we are constantly in and out of these stores buying crickets.  While we are there we may or may not happen to pick up a Ball Python or two. I do anyway.  Today it was the Uromastx!  Laura bought it. OF COURSE, SHE DID!!  I was teasing Joakim and telling him that his main job today would be to stop Laura from purchasing another lizard. He failed. I mean, he did try, I have to give him that much credit.

    After Alligator Alley we hit up another Oklahoma store, Hobby Lobby! If you have not been to one, you need to set aside time and money. Both time and money will be spent when you go to a Hobby Lobby store. If you're into making things, or just having really cool home decor, you'll find Hobby Lobby is chock full of ideas to both imaginatively create, and/or just to buy already made.  They always have candles and things on sale, so you can't walk out empty-handled. Today, July 16, they were busy loading up the west side of the store, which is their seasonal side, with all the pumpkins and pumpkinny things out there! It is FALL/AUTUMN in Hobby Lobby, but you have to get it quickly, as Christmas will be there in September!

    After Hobby Lobby we tackled EARL'S BBQ!!  As mentioned in a few blogs, when you come to or through Oklahoma City, you must, must, must, stop at Earl's on Reno and Meridian. You have to say hello to the manager and operator J.T. Simmons, and get the state's best-smoked ribs and/or pulled pork or brisket sandwiches. His menu is basically the same as any BBQ joint, but there is no beating his slaw! Joakim tried the Earl's Binge, which gave him a sampling of all the meats including brisket, ribs, pork, and smoked bologna. It came with a few sides. He'll be stuffed for a minute. You have to do okra if you come to our state. It's the law.

    We'll let the man rest for a while, get him over his food coma before we take him to the Arabian Horse Show down at the Fairgrounds. That may be something he and Laura can do without me. I am not a foo-foo horse person. I prefer dirt and western rodeo-type shows. The Arabian Horse Show is rather formal. The audience doesn't have to dress up of course, but the animals and their people are gussied up pretty well.  They'll enjoy the beauty and the elegance of each horse. Laura will likely walk him back through the stall areas so he can see what really takes place. We are nothing if not thorough with our guests!

    One thing Dwight saw today that they don't have in his country is panhandlers. We forget about the details here. I wouldn't have thought to ask if he had them. He was wondering why they were walking in and out of traffic and begging for money. I wish I could tell him we didn't have this problem, but we have this problem. Most are respectful of the motorists.  I do think that in this heat, they need to wear ball caps or hats and have water to hydrate. I may go back and take them some! We just never know what another person will see that we take either for granted, or we're a bit jaded and just don't want to see it anymore. (Guilty)

Photo Credit: Me

Moon Pies, Mexican Food, and Swedes

 Laura has a new boyfriend, sort of. She's been online dating him since about February, and this is now mid-July, so they're officially a couple I suppose. He's from Sweden, and I call him "Dwight" because his first name sounds like "Yoakum" when you say it out loud.  He's the best, really, and I don't mind bragging a bit about him. To be honest, he's young and handsome, two great traits a woman like Laura should consider in a man. He's also bright, intelligent, hard-working, and really funny. He doesn't always know he's being funny, which only endears him to us even more. We are very happy he's here for a visit.

    Since Dwight is going to be with us for a little over a week, we have decided to take him to all the places he would be subjected to going should he decide to make Oklahoma his permanent residence.  We think he will, eventually, decide to move to Oklahoma, as he is a Ph.D. student at the University of Stockholm, where he is studying to be a meteorologist.  You'd be hard-pressed to find a better place to practice that particular line of work than on the plains of the Sooner State.  I laugh when I say "Sooner State" because where that is what we call Oklahoma, my daughter attended the OTHER university in Oklahoma, and she was MOST upset with me when I began training (teaching) Dwight the fight song for the University of Oklahoma. Anyone can sing it really, it goes like this: "Boomer Sooner! Boomer Sooner! Boomer Sooner! Boomer Sooner!" and then you repeat that a few more times and yell really loudly at the end! It is one of the most recognized fight songs in the world! 

    We took Dwight straight from the airport to Braum's Ice Cream and Dairy Store because...well, because Braum's.  Braum's is an Oklahoma-based restaurant and store with fast food such as burgers, fries, chicken strips, and salads, and it has a grocery store attached with more than 31 flavors of ice cream, it's closer to 80 flavors if I had to guess.  We bought a new flavor none of us had tried, it's Neopolitan Cookie Dough. It's awesome.  We also bought burgers, fries, and the obligatory soft drink, soda, or pop, whatever you want to call it. In Oklahoma, they are all called Coke, even if it is Sprite or Dr. Pepper. It is what it is, you don't need to worry about it.  I drink unsweetened tea anyway, which is so far from being Southern that it's sad.

    Today, we woke the man up pretty early so we could take him to a few more places and do a few more Oklahoma and/or American things. He was bowled over by the heat, which is 101 today.  He was really impressed with how many pickup trucks are on the road, and he thought the fact that nearly every business flew the American flag was something to be seen for sure. He wondered if there was a special reason for it - - to which I answered, "Yes, there is a special reason for it. We're American".  He understood.  Laura smiled and said she really hadn't noticed, but she would have noticed if they weren't out and flying! She's not wrong.

    We went to Winco, a grocery store, and we bought a few things he needed to try. One of those things is a Moon Pie! You can't come to America's South and not have a Moon Pie. I think it may very well be illegal, and your hosts could be imprisoned for a while if you don't at least try one.  He liked it.  He had seen bulk groceries before, but nothing like they have at Winco.  Winco is famous for having aisle after aisle of so many bulk foods. The three he was most impressed with were the chicken gravy powder, the blueberry muffin powder in bulk, and granulated sugar.  I don't usually use real sugar, but since he's here we'll do that. I don't want to force my Stevia on him.  He tried Kool-aid for the first time too.  Loved it.

    One of the most important firsts for Dwight was his very first PBJ sandwich! In Sweden (and most of Europe) they eat peanut butter with bread of course, but they don't add jelly or jam to it.  Today, he has conquered the PBJ, and again, he's a big fan!  He will never again be able to eat just a lonely peanut butter sandwich without adding the jam to it. He may be exactly what Sweden needs to bring that sandwich to the forefront! Let's make this happen people!!  

    He came back to the apartment with us and we ordered Mexican food from an amazing local restaurant called Ted's.  You can search the state over and even dip into Texas and you won't find better authentic Mexican food. You can get it hot, but we don't like it that way, so we didn't force that on him. We did buy him some Tums just to be safe.  Again, they have antiacid in Sweden, but not Tums! He is just learning so much.  Over the course of the week, I'm sure Laura has a lot of plans for him. She should take him to the lake, to the ballpark, downtown to walk the river walk, and she should take him to a few museums since it's so freaking hot she can't really stay outside very long with him. Both of them are as pale as ghosts! (Laura is a ginger)

    Pretty sure he's going to go back to Sweden with 1000 stories to tell his friends and family, and I'm pretty sure he'll have to explain to them why it is that I call him Dwight.  If nothing else, I'll end up buying him a hat to dip down over his face and teach him to "day-nce" a little -- just a little, we don't need the man buying cowboy boots, chewing straw, and threatening to buy a gelding in the next week. He'll have plenty of time to do that when he comes back to stay a minute.  I teased him when we were in the pet store.  He said he doesn't normally go to the pet store and I laughed because we go 3x a week for something. If you're going to be with Laura you're going to have cat hair, dog hair, ferret hair, horse hair, and lizard poop on you most of the time. It's just a given.  Welcome to Oklahoma Dwight! We already love you buddy!!

    

Photo Credit: Me

The Blue Tongued Skink

 If you saw or read my last post you likely saw the photo I posted with a gorgeous Blue Tongued Skink!  I have owned them in the past, but it has been a minute. I will buy one again soon!  One does not just pick oneself up and drive to the pet store to pick up a Blue Tongued Skink, mind you. Where these lizards are not rare, they are certainly not common either. They are available, but they do come with a hefty price. The average BTS is demanding around $350 at the moment. The lizard is one cost, and the enclosure is quite another.  

    The BTS is such a simple lizard pet. It really isn't hard to keep at all. One of the best things about them of course is their brilliantly colored tongue, but they are also just too sweet for words. They actually like to coil and cuddle with you. They even recognize faces and voices. I love these guys.  I think my last one was about four years old and I had her when Caity was in kindergarten - - Caity turns 32 in about 2 weeks, so yeah, there's that. It's been a minute....or more.

    The enclosures for a BTS need to be at least 36-40 inches long and another 18 inches wide. They don't climb a lot, so the enclosure doesn't have to be tall. The average terrarium is about 15 to 18 inches tall, and that's high enough. The ground is the most important part of the enclosure. It needs to be big enough so they can move around and for me, I think I'll end up with a very big tank, if not an actual enclosure made specifically for the animal (once I move).  The enclosure (cage) will be either an 80 or 100-gallon tank, not something small, I want to spoil the Dickens out of my new boy/girl.  

    The BTS isn't necessarily a fussy eater either, and this is what makes keeping them so easy. If you are lucky enough to find one that is older, say over 9 months to 12 months, you can start with the salads, greens, a few fruits, and only a few proteins such as crickets, raw chicken, mealworms, etc.  The raw chicken (for me) is the way to go because I can simply cut off a slice when I'm about to cook my own! I love that. I can mix up a good green salad (sans spinach) and throw in a strawberry slice or two. Let me tell you, a lizard will do backflips for fruit!! I may need to video that so I can prove it!

    The general stats on a BTS are this:  They can live to be 18-20 years old. They can grow anywhere from 10 inches to 28 inches, depending on the species. They come in all colors really, but the basic colors are black on white, grey on black, brown on white, and grey on white.  They are found in Indonesia, Tunisia, Australia, New Guinea, and the surrounding areas. They are not poisonous, they are not biters, though any animal can snap. They are friendly, take their time, are quiet, and they are reserved. They basically hang out and look really pleasant.  My girl was 23 inches long and weighed just over 5 pounds I think. She was about four when I had to find her a new home; that was a sad day!

    I'll have to come up with a really good Celtic name for my new one. I don't know if it's a boy or girl yet, so I will come up with two names. I'm thinking of calling it Inverness if it's a girl and Culloden if it's a boy.  The Blue Tongued Skink is NOT from Scotland, mind you, but I like my Celtic names!  My last BTS was a girl and her name was Mary Scot for Mary Queen of Scotland.  It's just something I do. I had a horse named Eoghan and one named Niall.   If you've never been introduced to a Blue Tongued Skink before, or if you've never seen one in person, I would encourage you to find a place where they may have one. There are some really cool things to be learned from loving a reptile - - they aren't all fluffy and spunky like dogs, but they are capable of being social and even prefer human contact! Most reptiles are loners and can't be with other reptiles; the BTS is no different. Having a friendly face to spy on from their enclosures makes them happy.

    I'll have an outdoor enclosure built on wheels and keep it in the garage or in a storage shed.  It will be about four feet by two feet and another 15-18 inches high. It will be so the animal can go out and enjoy the sunlight. I will spoil my BTS! It will happen!! I can't wait to bring her or him home, but I have a few things to iron out in the house first, such as where I'm going to put the tank!!  These things take time if you want to do them correctly.  

Photo Credit: Pinterest