Jude Stringfellow's Blog, page 72
July 12, 2022
I Won't Be Moving To Scotland Afterall
After another round of Mental Mathematics in my head, I have come to the conclusion that living in the Great State of Oklahoma is probably where I'll be until Jesus comes back for me. Now, after the Tribulation, when we all come back with Christ, I may decide to settle near Edinburgh if it is still standing. I can't imagine Arthur's Seat going anywhere, but you never know, it could blow and there goes the neighborhood! After putting the pencil to it, and doing the whole Ben Franklin Pro/Con type lists, I just can't justify leaving Oklahoma on a permanent basis for Edinburgh Scotland, or anywhere else for that matter. Boomer Sooner.
I have gone over this a thousand times in my head and I have to be honest, I like driving my car to the nearest Braum's Ice Cream and Dairy Store. I like being able to drop what I'm doing and drive the said car to the Big Lot store to pick up Dr. Teal's bath supplies, or to Winco to pick up chocolate turtles in bulk. Can you believe they're only $4.98 a pound? Seriously, you can't expect this sort of thing anywhere else. Also, and this may or may not have much to do with anything, but so much to do with mental health, Oklahoma has (on average) more than 40 more days of sunshine than what the folks in Edinburgh receive. That's more than a month! There are another (over) 40 days that have more sunshine through partly cloudy days - - so another month or so with partly sunny days when the skies of Edinburgh seem to be overcast with grey clouds. It really is a big deal.
Although I HATE the heat in Oklahoma, and will likely visit my beloved Scotland during the summers, Oklahoma has warmth from April to November and we have more outdoor activities because of it. I tend to walk more than 7 miles a day in the summertime and the only way I could do that in Scotland is to go to the mall or something. I would have to be near one in order to do that, and I can't guarantee I would be able to find a place. Just finding a place is harder too. You have to pay way over the asking price to outbid someone else, and if the landlords don't want to remove their furnishings for whatever reason, you have less of a chance of being chosen to rent their lettings. It's just so different. Here, if the place is open there is a fee to pay down, and you fill out the application, you're approved, and you move in the same day you're approved. You could wait weeks to move into an apartment in Scotland simply because landlords want the most money possible and tenants are in bidding wars; giving the landlords all they want in order to be picked!
Without trying to complain too much, and in doing so, I'll even place the blame squarely on myself, I will not live in a place that doesn't have a bathtub. I won't live in a place that has tiny refrigerators, no dishwashers, no dryers, and/or where people don't understand the marriage between peanut butter and jam! Seriously, did you know that the average Scot does not (on any regular basis if ever) eat PBJ sandwiches? You mention that you do, and you're stared at. This is a minute and tiny reason not to go there on a permanent basis, but it is something to think about. (Not really, but we all deserve a bit of levity)
No, I think what it is (is) that I am really quite spoiled, and I'm so used to doing (going) what I want to do when I want to do it. If in Scotland I won't be driving and I would have to rely on public transport. For example, here I have lizards and need to run up to PetSmart to get a bunch of crickets. I get up, go to the car, crank it over, drive to the store about 1.5 miles away and I buy the crickets. I drive back home, it takes a total of 15 minutes if I just do that. Of course, I rarely ever just do that, I always buy a tea somewhere, or pop into another store to pick up something I may think I may need.
Let's pretend I just pop into PetSmart for the crickets to feed the lizards. Fifteen minutes tops is the amount of time it would take. If I were to do that same thing in Edinburgh I would have to go to the bus stop (maybe 2 blocks away) wait on the bus (they aren't usually on time) ride the bus to the store which may or may not be on the route, get out and walk to the store from the nearest stop, get the crickets, leave the store, walk to the bus stop, wait on the bus, ride the bus home, walk two blocks home - - seriously, the day is wasted! (OK, I'm exaggerating) It could take well over an hour if the store was close! What if it were further away?
By the time I got to my apartment, the crickets could be dead if I didn't take their carrier with me; in Oklahoma, I can drive home with them in their little plastic bag because it's only going to be 5 minutes from the store to my house. I have used the same type of scenario with me wanting ice cream, me wanting a burger, me wanting to do anything really - - I do things on the fly here - - I don't know that I could stop doing that. I don't know that I would ever want to stop doing that. I could get a car there, but they drive on the other side, gas is higher, insurance is higher, and I'm not going to trust myself to parallel park -- it's never going to happen! I suck at it.
There are other reasons that involve more Math. My cost of living is lower here. The size of my house/apt for what I pay is an enormous difference and not something to be overlooked. My 1200 sf 2 bed 2 bath apartment with 2 walk-in closets is $680.00 a month, the same size unit in Edinburgh would likely not have closets, possibly not have a tub, but just a shower and a random toilet in the hall, and it could possibly be on the 4th floor without a lift to get the price down, but the price would still be twice that of what I am paying now! No thank you. This news should make one particular Scot smile -- smile on, Tex...smile on.
Don't get me wrong; I love love love Edinburgh. I just don't know that I could trade Oklahoma City for it on a permanent basis. Our laws are so vastly different, our expectations, our politics, our world views, and the fact that I really won't compromise my opinion, or refrain from giving my opinion if challenged. I think it's a good thing that I just want to visit a few times, maybe even for a month each year until Jesus comes back, and then maybe, like I said, after the Tribulation, if it's still standing and I can manage the correct VISA (that's a joke) I will do it. I may even ask Jesus if I can run a doggy daycare or something relaxing - - then again, I could see myself teaching Ethics at the University of Edinburgh too. Just sayin'.
So, that's it then. My plan to move has been squashed and replaced with my new plan to stay put, teach, invest, buy and sell on Forex, probably buy a house, and write that murder book - - you know, the one where I throw the handsome Scotsman off the side of Arthur's Seat but I spare his guitar. I don't do it, I'm the author, but I do know who will do it - - trust me, the boo bear could use a bit of tumble down the hillside. I just haven't decided if he actually dies or if he's found three days later by a wandering Jack Russell terrier. So many decisions to make about this book! OK, yep, I gotta go. I have to feed the lizards! Num num!
Photo Credit: wallpapersdsc.net (Blue Tongued Skink)
Words Can Hurt
A couple of days ago I wrote a blog about having or carrying extra baggage around with you. We all do it, but for some, it seems the mere mention of it can trigger anger and upset feelings. I could say, "Buck up" or "Get over yourself", but the truth is, that there are some who are so internal with their emotions that even reminding them of their flaws seems to create a real tidal wave of frustration within them. For that, I am sorry. What I mean when I say I'm sorry, is that I'm sorry my friend felt the way he felt after reading my words. I wasn't talking about him, per se, although for some people you can mention the slightest similarity and they are so sensitive they simply KNOW you are talking about them! This was not the case, but it did lead me to write this blog, after taking down the other one.
I am an American, but when I get online and voice my opinion in a group that is primarily (and created for) Americans who have Scottish ancestry, I am immediately met with vicious (and I mean vicious) comments from native Scots who feel that anyone who was not born in their country can't possibly have an opinion about their country. This is so funny, as they have no problems spewing their opinions about what they think of us! Bit of a double standard that I think I've had to accept as being normal. Their words hurt me, but I'm again, not allowed to say it without being called out as a liar or being too soft.
Perhaps we could all do well by just sort of prefacing our words. Perhaps I could have said, "This blog deals with unsettled feelings and things we carry around with us needlessly as humans". This would allow someone who is overly sensitive the opportunity to bail before reading more and becoming upset. I think the blog was meant to showcase the fact that there are OTHER people who have baggage, but that they are willing to sit with you, hold your hand, be there to listen, and just try and be comforting. It didn't come off that way to ONE person, so since I was made aware of it, I did take that blog down. I won't be doing that in the future. It doesn't make sense to censor your work. It makes sense to buffer it maybe, but people do need to know there are others who will help in a crisis. (and face it, sometimes there are times when some people just need to buck up and get over themselves, as well.)
Another thing I noticed about the blog I took down, was that while I was general in my description of my friend who lives in Texas, another friend who lives in Scotland was upset about the fact that he thought I was talking about him because the two men had similar backgrounds. Seriously? Do you know how many singers and songwriters there are in Texas and also in Scotland? I can't go look at a house or flat for sale on RightMove without seeing a guitar or piano in the rooms! Texas, Tennessee, Oklahoma, and California produce more singers and songwriters than any other part of the world! What if I said my friend was six feet tall, had brown eyes, and a beard! He does! He also has tattoos, he drives a Ford pickup, owns about three guns, and he has a big pit bull! I'm just saying there's no way someone in another country should EVER accuse me of calling him out for his baggage simply because I wrote about my friend who gave me permission to talk about him without giving his name. He recognized that there will be those who relate to him and could use the help I was suggesting!
I think my point has been made. We all have things we don't like about ourselves, and things from our past (and in the present) that we can't really deal with, but we are saddled with them. I can't change the fact that I'm divorced, but it's been 25 years. I've never been to rehab, but I've broken down a few times and really had a time of it getting back on track. I had kids to raise, a job to keep, and an education to maintain. I sucked it up, and no it was not fun, but those kids depended on me being the strong one. Jesus had to be the strong One as I couldn't do it alone. That was my point in the blog -- it was not meant to send someone to the Moon with anger or emotions. EVERY LAST ONE OF US is carrying something. I just choose to give it up so I'm not burdened with it. The fact that I've NEVER cared what others think of me may be a good thing - - I just don't have to worry about my reputation!
Reputation is something you have because of what others think of you. Your character is so much more important and if we're all honest, a character flaw is worse than a rumor about you. We need to work on our characters and give up the hope of being Mr. or Ms. Popular! Who gives a damn about being liked to the point of being the social center of attention? Not me. If I make Jesus happy I'm good. He's the one that died for me so I can enter into Heaven, not these other people who couldn't hold a flame to what Christ has done for us. Anyway, I didn't mean to upset anyone, and though it is never my intention, it is still a fact that words can and do hurt, but we can't censor them or not use them. We can choose them. We can apply them, but we can't stop using them. I won't offer an apology, but I will say that I hope I can be more thoughtful in the future. Then again, I have no idea who may or may not read the blogs, and speaking the truth is just that, speaking the truth. I'm not going to be able to please everyone. Pleasing God is enough.
Photo Credit: AskGramps.org
July 11, 2022
Weird Dream: Deception, Kiosk, Fried Chicken, and Asphalt
You just need to really pay attention to the details when you dream because you may not remember them when you wake. They make a HUGE difference. Let me give you an example. I dreamed another person, not me, was dressing up in a school marm dress and pretending to be pious. I wondered why it mattered, but "they", the others, were calling her out for it, and saying she was pretending to be a nun. We all know that nuns don't dress in that fashion, but that was in my dream. These are the things you need to try to remember because when you look it up to see what it means it really does matter who is doing what, and who is saying what about it. You (me) are the observer at times, not the participant.
So, in my dream, I was watching the woman who was being called out at a meeting of some sort. They were telling her that she was pretending or being deceptive. She was arguing about it and saying it was her right to dress the way she wanted to. She was trying to get the attention of a man. (who would really want a delicate woman dressed in an old-fashioned dress?) She was being deceptive. That was the notable part of the dream. I needed to pay attention as it deals with my surroundings, the people around me, and so forth. I wasn't the deceptive one, but there must be someone in my waking life who is being deceptive.
After the meeting, of which I was a part of that, I drove to the hill to get my lunch you know. That's where they serve lunch. They served it from a kiosk and it was fried chicken and mashed potatoes. When I started to pay for it the cashier rang it up as $21.99. I said, "No, I won't pay that, it's too much." So she put it back and I walked away. I'm not stupid! It should have been about $4.00 maybe $5.00 tops. I drove my car home and because the traffic light was red I stopped. I do that. I obey traffic rules in my sleep. Then I turned left after getting into the middle of the intersection. That move, according to the dream books, means that I am in the middle of the chaos of life, I see it, I manage my way through it, and I successfully meet my goals. Yea!!
By the way, the mashed potatoes were in another dream this past week. They represent the steady and slow grind for all of your accomplishments in your job. The fried chicken was interesting. It represented the heart of the matter, the down to Earth morals and thoughts that I carry around. I think it's comfort food, a staple, and it's good for me, (maybe not the fried part) and it's good stuff, but the lady wanted way too much for it, so I didn't pay for it. I just went on my way. The hill my car had to climb was dark asphalt and again, asphalt deals with employment. It's a new road in an old place. It's a new beginning. The hill was steep! I had to really push my car hard to get to the top of it, but I did manage. I know there will be new challenges, but I'm willing to make it happen.
I've already told you what the dream means really, so I don't have to go over it again. I think I'll be doing OK soon in my new job and I'll work through the challenges. I did buy a Ravenclaw House banner to put up in my new room. It's lovely. I knew I was a Ravenclaw the instance I saw the Sorting Hat. I have taken about 6 different quizzes (Hogwarts games online) and each one says the same thing. I am a Ravenclaw! I raised three Gryffindors. Crazy.
Photo Credit: Qfeast.com
July 10, 2022
Excess Baggage
This blog (semi-rant) will be dedicated to those people who have what the world calls "baggage", or even excess baggage because they come to the table with crisis after crisis. You know these people. You may be one of these people. I can't say no one really starts life out with baggage, but that's not true. There are kids being born who are literally hooked on crack, heroin, whatever, and yeah, that would qualify as being loaded down at an early age with something they did not deserve, but there it is. It's just there, you can't change it, you can't do anything about it, but you can deal with it. You can handle it; you can try to find ways to control some of the problems you come with in order to have a better outcome.
I'm divorced and I realized this year that I will be "celebrating" the 25th anniversary of that divorce. I originally divorced my husband in 1995, but due to the critical timing of that divorce (Oklahoma City Bombing) we were sort of thrown back into the marriage out of a sense of guilt -- it didn't last even a year before the shenanigans continued; our divorce was final in November 1997. Believe me, I haven't looked back. I won't be sending the man silver to commemorate the date either. I only brought it up to say that after 25 years, I don't consider my divorce to be legitimate baggage should I enter into another relationship. However, a more recent divorce could certainly evolve into being baggage or something the other person would have to deal with or overlook in order to pursue a relationship with someone. You should never begin a new relationship right after breaking up since it could lead to a mix of confusion both mentally and emotionally for both parties. (My opinion)
More people have so much to consider these days after a divorce than I can possibly imagine. A friend of mine in Texas is not only recently divorced, it is his 2nd divorce in 10 years. He has two children with his first wife and another child with his second wife. He has child support payments, has one alimony payment, and he dodged a bullet on the second wife since they were only married two years. His first wife has no intention of marrying again, and he'll be stuck paying about one-third of whatever he can earn to her for probably another 10 years. Talk about baggage, the poor man isn't mentally healthy, he's lost job after job, but luckily for him because he does reside in Texas, he doesn't have his wages garnished. He pays what he can to support his children.
Let's say that man decides to date again (because he likely will), and the new woman he finds decides to count up the luggage being dropped on her from his past. She's going to have to be some sort of a saint in order to put up with different-aged kids, two ex-wives, in-laws, family, church friends, and anyone who has an emotional tie to the man, not to mention the fact that currently, he's on disability because he has anxiety and can't work. How is he going to take her out to dinner? Oh, well, he may not be taking her, she may be taking him. She would also need to realize that over the past twenty or twenty-five years of this man's life he's been in and out of a few rehabs for drug and alcohol use. He's sober now, he's been sober for over four years, but it's still a long and heartbreaking battle for both the addict and their lovers.
Many times we, as humans, start to look at our lives and we take inventory (even if only mentally) of all the crap we've been saddled with, the things we brought on ourselves, the things that were thrown at us because of circumstances or situations we had little to no control over, and we get really frustrated. It's not uncommon for people to just give up, get depressed, have breakdowns, and throw away the good with the bad when they choose to just start completely over. I've known men and women (more men) who have literally just taken off for greener pastures, leaving families, debts, and everything behind so they can break free of the chains they're shackled with. When that happens the families die, relationships die, and communities suffer -- we have to know we all have something in our past that keeps us from being pure and untouched by sorrow. Not one of us is completely baggage free.
As always, Jesus is the answer. You knew I was going there, right? I mean, we don't need to think about what we're going to do because it's already been settled at the Cross! We weren't meant to take it all on for ourselves alone. We weren't meant to take anything beyond the Cross without prayer and obedience. If we find ourselves at the end of the rope we have a Rope Maker right before us, around us, through us, in us, and near us. He specializes in saving lives and souls. Why would we fret? If you know me, you know I don't want anyone to fret unless they're holding a guitar! By the way, if you can play the guitar you can erase a few of those bags!! Just sayin', guitars work miracles too in the hearts of many a fair maiden. This is a fact.
If you were to sit yourself down right now and write out all of your claims to all of the bad things, the negative things (or seemingly negative) that you are toting around, could you come up with more than 10? I bet you could if you're over the age of 40! We get hit pretty hard between 25-40, wouldn't you say? Mortgages, lost wages, Covid, custody battles, friends dying by accident or disease, anxiety, loneliness, you can't get away from the tragic parcels strapped on your back and sliding around to the front to load you down! It's no wonder people gain weight, lose weight, binge drink, use drugs, and do so many things to just escape - - but where are you going to run that Christ can't be found right there when you arrive? Nowhere! He is EVERYWHERE. That's Him, over there with His hands out waiting for you to take them and hand over the gear you've been dragging about.
Buck up, friend! I love the song by Mercy Me where part of the lyrics is "Well, let me introduce you to Amazing Grace!" Jesus also did the unimaginable. He created people who are capable of helping you (and others) unload some of that weight that has been burdening you for years. He's created those people who He knows are the best for you; even if you don't think so. He can't lie. He can't and won't suggest, He gives. He is not going to ask you "What do you think about so and so?" He'll just say "Hey, here's your new partner, pay close attention to the way I created her/him because they have an uncanny way and means of helping you relax and resolve your every issue, but it all starts with you listening to Me! I love you. Your prayers have been answered." The thing about Jesus is, He's always perfect, not partially perfect. He's flat out, every time, all the way, perfect. If you listen to Him and do what He asks, and you are sincere in your requests, He'll supply what you need, not always what you want; but it will be PERFECT.
This didn't turn out to be a semi-rant at all. I think I like this blog. I hope you'll take it to heart, maybe make your list(s) and then surrender them to Jesus asking Him to provide whatever and whomever He deems to be the right person to help you through the next chapter. If He and/or you feel that you can make it on your own, that's cool too -- I've been solo for 25 years and I'm still going strong. I wouldn't mind being the helper this time around -- but that's 100% up to Jesus at this point. I'll sit back and watch the fireworks for now. There are usually some pretty good things to think about while I thank Him for all He's done for me these past 782 years I've been roaming the Earth.
Be Blessed....and be relieved. Drop your bags and pick up the Cross. (Hint: He's on the other end of that too, helping you walk your walk)
Photo Credit: IrishNews.comJuly 9, 2022
New Job: Teaching English at Hogwarts!! FINALLY!!
It's one of those things when the employer has offered me the position, I have accepted the position, but now I have to pass the drug test and the background check. I can honestly say there should be (and will not be) any issues with these two checks. Since I don't do drugs and will be laying off the poppyseed lemon bagels for a few days, I should not have anything pop on a drug screen. What I do think is hilarious, is that every time I am offered a teaching position the new school or district wants to do yet another background check. Maybe since the last time I was employed by a school (September 2021) I've robbed banks, murdered people, left myself open to being recruited as a mule for drugs, you just never know. I would say "it could happen" but no, it can't happen. Not with me anyway. I'll pass the background check.
The new place is not a school, per se. I won't go into many details because I never want to give anyone a reason to know who my students may be. They don't need to be subjected to anything negative; they're already suffering enough. My new students will be the ones who have no options left. They are not forced to be there, they choose to be there, and they are under contract to be there, so they will try a bit harder. It's not exactly a prison, it's not exactly a regular district. It's run by the federal government, and it is subsidized by an outside corporation that deals with many of these types of facilities where students try a bit harder to achieve since they have instructors who do give a damn, but will also enforce rules, regulations, laws, and policies. I am nothing if not a rule enforcer - - a Commander. Not a Demander.
There is a running family joke with this one. First, I said I wouldn't go back into the classroom unless Dumbledore called me and asked me to teach English at Hogwarts. That was my only hope to ever teach again. I'm simply (absolutely) fed up with the attitudes of the kids today, their parents, the administration, and even the districts. It's a money-grabbing, non-educational place these days. The districts in my state literally crank out kids by the thousands who can't read, can't write, and don't understand simple or basic Math, but there they are graduating. Then they can't even muster up a resume to save their lives! If they do work they suck at customer service, they disrespect their employers, they hate their customers, and it all boils down to not being prepared at school.
Teachers (like me) have flooded the streets tearing up our teaching certificates and exchanging our instructional hopes for wealth management, corporate work, and even retirement. I'm also trading Forex on the side, learning Options, and I am getting my P&C Adjuster's license so I can do that on a privately hired basis. I accepted this position because it was a sort of a Dumbledore who called, and I will be teaching English at a pseudo-Hogwarts, but maybe more like a Hogwarts of the Hood. Due to my many (many) years of teaching in inner urban school districts my son has dubbed me a Hood Teach. I accept that. I even embrace it because I am one who gives a damn. I want my thugs, sorry, students, to achieve. I won't lie, more than 30 of my students over the past 20 years have been arrested for rank felony charges. It's really tough out there! Kids deserve a better education.
The problem with Oklahoma education is the State Department doesn't listen to the thousands of teachers who have asked for stricter guidelines regarding communication devices, cheating, smaller class sizes, and the right to discipline. Forget asking for more money, money can't solve those issues. On a DAILY and even HOURLY basis you're dealing with fighting, violence, sexual assault, cussing, biological hazard, and worse -- and that's not counting the fact that the average 9th grader in Oklahoma reads at the 3rd or 4th-grade level. I'm not talking about those kids who come from another country folks; I'm talking about home-ground kids who were born with a phone shoved in their face! Their parents (mostly) do not give a damn and expect the teacher to teach basic fundamental behavior and understanding. It's way past crisis levels in our state.
I accepted the position. I will be a Reading Instructor. Not a teacher. I am instructing. I am guiding. I am directing. I am not teaching. I am facilitating. I am putting it up on the board and watching them struggle. I am not hand-feeding these students. They must sink or swim, and I am NOT their life safer. I am the boat coming at them at full speed willing to pick them up but they have to want to be helped. If they don't grab on with both hands and pull themselves up to the deck I can't do much more for them. Does that sound mean? No. It sounds like these kids are willing to stop talking on their phones long enough to listen. It sounds like (and is) what it is, a true form of education!
This place does it right! Everyone learns at their own pace. They all start with an assessment test, and they are placed at the module level they need to be at so they can begin their lessons. They go from A-Z and after a set amount of hours they take a test. They don't have to pass it. They can take it again. No one holds it against them. When they get to the end they have completed the course. BAM! That's the way it should be. If a kid doesn't catch on he/she continues to research the part they don't understand and go back to and back through it. I LOVE IT.
Since I am a Reading Instructor we will read a book as a class and we'll read something classic so they can get a taste of culture. I am also teaching/instructing on the History of America as well as the History of Scotland, to show a connection between the two countries. I don't have to, but I am allowed, so yeah, I'm doing it. I was told that the students can ONLY speak English on campus and that it is a HUGE problem for them if they are caught speaking any other language as that may have been the reason they failed to begin with. Families in Oklahoma who refuse to speak English in the home cause a learning barrier for the student. We as teachers can't change that. We instruct in English. The way I handle it (and have in the past) is to speak Scots Gaelic to a student who speaks another language to me. They do it to be funny or disrespectful. I do it to show them I'm not laughing.
The new assignment is a harder or tougher type place, but I'm used to that. I don't break, I bend a little, but I stand up and make myself clear when I'm in the classroom. When asked what my leadership philosophy was I told the employer that I am the Queen in my room, and I don't expect or accept any other rulers only those who will do what I say because I said it. That being said, I won't ask anything of anyone that I would not subject myself to. I don't demand, I command. I have a clear understanding and goal for the student, and I fully expect them to either get with the program or leave the room. I don't have time for arguments, just workers. I was hired on the spot and we'll see if I can pass that drug test! (anticipating that I will, I've been loading my car trunk with the things I'll be taking to the classroom next week.) I think I'll hang a Ravenclaw banner next to the American and Scottish flags! If my boss can be Dumbledore, I can be McGonagall.
Photo Credit: DreamsTime.comWeird Dream (Showers, Stars, Condom?)
Well, well, well, here we are at another odd dream. I have them. Sometimes I can remember them, sometimes I can't. This time I saw things and I remember thinking I need to write this down and then I woke up and couldn't remember all that I wanted to write down. Therefore, because I couldn't force myself to get out of bed to write down what it was that I saw, I will have to recall only that which I can recall. I still think it's pretty interesting. After going through the dream books of symbols and whatnot I have come up with a fairly decent answer to any questions I may have. I can tell you this, I had NO IDEA what it meant to see a condom covering the shower head. That was a new one for me.
I was outside. I was looking up at the skies and noticed not only that they were full of stars, but they were also becoming more and more full as I watched. More stars appeared while I stood there gazing upward. I saw dark pretty blue clear skies with thousands of bright twinkling stars. There were no shooting stars, there were no planets such as the Moon, Venus, or Mars. I only saw the twinkling brilliant stars. Then, out of nowhere, the number three was formed in the void of stars. You could see the stars surrounding the number, and the number was visible in the blue sky.
I then proceeded to the obstacle course which was mostly uphill. I don't know where I was, but it was on flatland after I climbed a hill. Then, the obstacle course had a lava rock climbing element to it that I had to master. I wasn't allowed to use any safety net, ropes, or anything. I simply had to climb to the top of the lava rock structure, and I made it! I was so proud of myself. The stars were still out and I could still see the number 3 over my head. It was time to go "back to the public place" and take a shower. My friends were talking openly about the public place as if it were something sort of like the Public Market in Seattle.
I walked to the "public place" (I love how we know what it is in our dreams.) to take a shower. I didn't have a towel so I wrapped myself in my striped bedsheets. I hung the bedsheet over the door so people would know I was occupying that particular shower stall. I was in the shower and trying to get the showerhead to work correctly, but it was being stopped. I couldn't figure out what was on the end, but upon closer examination, I found it to be a condom! What? Yep, a condom on the showerhead, catching the water, but not bursting. I removed it, threw it away, and took my shower without any other hindrances. When I was finished, I wrapped myself in my bedsheet and met my friends to go to the store.
There you go! Certainly, that makes a whole lot of sense to anyone!
Stars appearing in multitudes: money, fortune, good tidings, happinessDark Blue Sky: Deep feelings, sentimental feelings, all-around goodThe number 3: Unity, Trinity, protection from all sides, again, goodUphill: I have to work for it.Obstacle course: self-explanatory, I have to work through the challengesLava rock: Comes out of the ground, organic, from the soul, from my mindMaking it to the top: Achieving all goals set and others expectedPublic Place: The world at largeBed sheet: my personal convictionsShower: cleaning myself of my pastTHE CONDOM? What? It represents a new job! Who the hell would have thought that? If a woman finds a condom in her dream it is not the same as if a man finds it. It was being filled up and it was for me. The world was giving me a new beginning, a cleaning, a fresh start, and the symbol was for employment. I actually accepted a new job just yesterday!My friends: My friends are with me through it all.Going to the store: Refresh, replenish, stock up.These dreams are so much fun and I love them. I hope I keep having more. I will note that Arthur's Seat is a volcano in the middle of Edinburgh, Scotland. If I wanted to start my new challenges uphill and with lava rock that would make sense! I did get over all the humps and bumps. I did make it to the top! Woo hoo!! Let it be, Jesus!! Let it be!
Photo Credit: TripSavy.com
July 5, 2022
Weird Dream: Making Decisions on Tuesday
It's kind of funny how I am now remembering the dreams I had the night before and writing them down. What I find myself doing is remembering them just as I am waking. I try to stay semi-awake to go back over them so I can recall details of conversations, colors, dates, times, and such. Last night I had a bit of a nastier dream in terms of dealing with people. There were quite a few liars and manipulators in the dream. I was successful in thwarting any of their plans, but it was a bit crazy at times. I had to really think quickly a couple of times. I do hope most of the dream doesn't come true. I wouldn't mind the last part being real!
There was no beginning to the dream, I was in a situation with others wherein I was being asked to sign a contract. They were being asked to do the same. We were in a group setting, and the people in charge were aimlessly walking around sort of trying to keep our eyes moving. They were trying to distract from what was really happening. There was an RV in the parking lot, and it was absolutely full of newly washed t-shirts that were new, but were not folded. They were just sort of crammed into the RV. One lady was saying there were 3600 of them, and we'd be obligated to pay for that when we signed.
At first blush, it looked as if it was a partnership-type contract, and my buy-in would be that I bought the t-shirts, then sold them for whatever profit I could make. That's not a bad thing, but I wasn't into selling t-shirts. I wanted to do something else. I put the people off, and I continued the tour. I watched and observed as others signed, but I didn't want to. There was a soccer game going on, so I pretended to be interested in it so I wouldn't have to sign or be pressured into signing.
I left the area, but not before picking up a trashcan full of information. I said to the man who was pressuring me that I would let him know by Tuesday. He wasn't happy with my answer and he followed me out to my car. I left the trashcan there and drove off. I came back later and I saw everyone sort of hanging out and talking. They had a food spread, and they were watching another game. I took two chicken tacos and smiled. I walked away. That was it.
When the time is right, and it will be soon, I will decide to use my own resources and be my own boss in the world of Forex. I may trade options as well. I think I will at least try to diversify and keep my own options open!! This was a good dream.
Photo Credit: Modelcarsmag.com
July 4, 2022
Weird Dream: Parking Lot, Blue Car, Laundry, Coins, and STUFF
Dreams, because they are unique and often strange, can be interpreted in so many ways. The best way to think about the meaning (or possible meaning) of a dream is to take the entire dream in context if you can and decide if it was an overall happy dream, a sad dream, a warning dream, and so forth. This dream that I had last night was not instigated by something I ate just before bedtime. I think it's ridiculous when someone tries to analyze a dream using that sort of logic. If you don't know what you're doing when it comes to dreamscapes, it's best you don't even try.
Dreams are found not only in the Bible but in literature and reference books as well. As long as people have been sleeping people have been dreaming. Some of us, for whatever reason, are able to remember these dreams in both vivid colors as well as in detailed details. For instance, I know that the blue car I was driving was not just a blue four-door sedan, I know the make and model. Does that matter? It may. I don't drive an Audi, I drive a Nissan Versa. Here we go. Try to keep up if you can. I'll explain it at the end.
In my dream, I drove my car (a blue four-door Audi sedan) into the parking lot of a business. The parking lot was empty. I didn't enter it using the correct ingress, instead, I used the egress, and had to sharply turn my car's wheels, but I got into the parking lot. I had my choice of places to park, and I chose the center of the parking lot for some odd reason. You would think I would have parking closer to where I was going. Not me. I wanted to be smack dab in the very middle. I parked and I walked inside the building.
Once in the building, I was doing my laundry. I hadn't brought my laundry with me, but there I was doing it. The machine was massive and very open. I put the clothes in, and then I started looking in my big glass jar for the quarters I would need to start the machine. The machine was actually already going at that point, but I was still looking for quarters. I found a coin in the slot, but the coin was not American. It was in fact, a square coin, it was gold, and it had the number 1 on it. That will come into play later. I'll explain.
I dug through the coins trying to find the quarters I would need. I found a few, but I also found banana peels. I didn't find any bananas, just the peels. That was in fact odd, even inside the dream, I found that to be odd. Usually odd things in dreams don't make you flinch, but the banana peels gave me cause for pause, and I did. I moved them and picked up (and picked out) the quarters. I stacked them so I could easily put them into the slots. I took the one gold coin out, and I pocketed it. I didn't try to find the owner as it was a public place. There would be no way of knowing who it belonged to. It was now mine.
My friend from my childhood and teen years (Kathy) was there, and she was standing with another employee. Apparently, Kathy worked there. I assured the other lady that I knew Kathy, and I told the woman that I could tell her great stories about Kathy, and what she looked like wearing mashed potatoes on her face. Yes, that is what I said. That line "I can tell you what she looks like wearing mashed potatoes on her face" was odd for a dream as well - - I told myself I needed to remember that, and I did.
I left the building, and I was not in my car. I was walking down the road with my first boyfriend John Love. (Hi, John) John was somewhat beside me then he was behind me. He was holding my hand and trying to help me put my red zip-up fleece jacket on; the jacket was upside down, but that didn't matter to either of us. He took me to another building and I told him I needed to go to the bathroom.
I did go to the bathroom, (#2) and in the feces (sorry, it's a dream) there were pieces of corn. I don't eat corn. I've not been a corn eater for a very long time. I will eat cornbread, but the last time I had corn on the cob or corn casserole was well over 3 years ago. I just don't eat it as it's used to make pigs and cows fat, so why eat it? Why was it in my poop? I'll tell you later. It's a good thing.
After going to the bathroom and washing my hands (even my dreams I'm a good girl) I spoke with John about the electric panels he was working with. I tried to pick one up, but he yanked it from me and said sternly that I could not only bring something bad to the Earth, but I could also bring a demon if I didn't know what I was doing. Then he quickly apologized to me for being so blunt and aggressive. I didn't think he had been either. I thought he was just caring and concerned, maybe a bit jumpy, but he didn't upset me.
OK. That's the dream. I looked up every detail I could from several places I trust with good reputations. I don't do the tarot card reading places, and if it says it is an Islamic or Hindu site I don't read from there either.
Photo Credit: Pinterest July 3, 2022
Why I'm Not Married (Yet)
The list of reasons I am not interested in being married is longer than the list of why I'm not married (yet). I say "yet" because God isn't finished with me, and I could actually end up being married again if HE, God, were to decide I need to be married. I personally am not seeking a marital relationship at this time. What I am seeking is to do the things God wants, be the person God wants me to be, and if that includes being a wife, then by God, and all things Holy, they (the Trinity) will need to make that happen by opening every last door necessary; a lady never has to open doors you know. (That's a little added Southern hospitality for those of you who don't know me. I'm absolutely from the South, which is a place where we honor God and expect men to be men.)
It won't make me the least bit popular with the women folk when I say this, but believe it or not ladies, God made the man to be the head of the family, therefore, as a wife, I would understand that. I'm not all that easy to wrangle, manage, control, or handle, so God will need to provide a man who is capable of actually performing that duty before I can submit to him as God would have me to do. First things first, he has to present me without blemish and without blame. Once he can do that, hold his hands up to God and dedicate his life to me both monogamously and show the same love for me that Christ has for the Church, I will have zero reasons not to submit to him the way a wife is intended to submit.
Again, I won't win any friendly smiles or nods from the ladies who have suffered at the hands of the wrong man (me included) but if I were to marry again that man (my husband) would have the final say over our finances, and that means if I am the one earning those finances, he would be given the last word there as well. That's not something most women in 2022 are willing to consider let alone do, but if God picked the man for me I would have no reason to doubt that God would also train that man in the ways and means of how to be the best decision-maker after we had dutifully (as a couple) discussed what we both this is best for our family or union. He would have the last word in all things; that's a hard thing to give up, but if you think about it, he has it so much worse than I ever would. I am only submitting to him, a man, but he (a man) is submitting to God, and he's 100% responsible for the decisions he makes, and guess what, he's (the man) responsible for the decisions I make too! He's the head of the household. It ultimately falls on him to discuss these things with me and to make sure whatever we do it's the right thing!
I can't think of a better thing to be than free from having to be responsible for the decisions being made. I have a great mind, and I am a very very strong-willed woman, so I'm not going ot just let any ol' man come along and be the head of my household, take control of my finances, my choices, my desires, and my decisions. No, that's not what will happen. If God, and God alone, decides to make me the EXCEPTIONALLY wonderfully dutiful and respectful wife that I know I would be, and could be, He (God) will have to provide the ONE man who I can be subjected to, who I can submit to, who I can follow, who I can uplift, who I can support emotionally, spiritually, even financially if he needs to work on whatever it is that God wants him to do - - that's a very unique and one-of-a-kind man. There aren't two out there. God knows that.
The list of reasons I'm not married is LONG indeed, but the list can be summed up by saying this; I am not willing to submit until God brings me the one He wants me to submit to. I won't be doing the choosing if there is another one. Nope! He'll be dropped in my lap, and I've said it before; God will write "This one's for you Jude, you're welcome" in purple lettering on some random wall. He'll make it so clear that I won't even have to wonder -- don't you kinda feel sorry for that guy right now? I mean, he's possibly out there minding his own business, just going what he thinks God wants him to do, and maybe he's thinking he can't do it alone, and maybe he could use a really good wife to both help him and support his passion for the ministry God has chosen him for. Don't you think he's gonna be in for the shock of his life if he does ask God for me? LOL...I mean, he may not realize it's me, but yeah, God will know.
To be honest, I think I'd be OK with it. I know I've learned a great deal from life and could be the helpmeet someone needs; love will grow. Honor, respect, communication, all of that will happen -- if it is to happen. The list is short really, it's because God hasn't said yes yet - - just "wait" and when He says to wait it's a yes just waiting to manifest -- So yeah, I'm open for a discussion on the matter (as long as the man is right with God and right for me...and has a guitar. There will be a guitar in this union, or else, I'm not doin' it! I've gone long enough without one! I can't play one, but I damn sure want to listen to one being played!) Smiles. There will be dogs too, and chocolate. There will be kilts, there will be coffee, there will be beaches, and there will be beards. There will be great sex, and....did I say that out loud? Well, I should probably stop before I truly say what I want to say - - I do that from time to time, but it's OK, God will tell the man that too. He'll know. He may already know. Who knows? (God knows.)
Photo Credit: dreamstime.comThe Blood of a Lamb
Just this past week I was reading an article about how a lamb or sheep in a woman's field had been severely bitten by a rattlesnake! The poor sheep was in terrible pain, and though she swelled up and could hardly move for 2 days, going into the 3rd day she revived. Not only was she able to return to the herd, but she also seemed stronger, even more, "alive" if you will. Her attitude (did you know animals have attitude?) seemed to be uplifting. What happened? The woman said she never took the sheep to the vet because when she called the vet she was told that the blood of a sheep can actually neutralize the venom of a snake! WHAT? Say that again, but this time, say it with a Biblical inflection. The Blood of The Lamb neutralizes the bite of the Serpent!
God is so so so so so wonderful. He did this on purpose folks!! I am and have been, a Baptist all of my life, but I never knew this to be so. I am flat-out amazed, and I'm humbled to the point of tears just relaying the facts. God, in His infinite wisdom, created the anti-venom materials needed to sustain the bite of a poisonous snake inside the body of a lamb! It just goes to show you that He knew all along what His plan was for Christ. He knew all along what His message was for us. God (through the Creator side, Jesus) made the sheep and He made the serpent KNOWING that the blood of the lamb would prevail. I am raising my hands, but when I do that I have to stop typing!
So overwhelmed am I, that I have been tweeting, texting, calling, and bothering just about anyone who will agree to listen to me. I am just blown away by this fact. It could not be more clear. It does make me wonder why the damned serpent we call Satan chose the snake as a means to lull and lie to Eve if he also knew what could and would happen. I can only imagine there would be sheep in the Garden of Eden were he to bite one or the other of the first couple. It also blows me away that Jesus created the trees that would become His cross. He allowed them to be watered, to have sunlight, to thrive and grow strong; strong enough to hold a man's full weight as He was nailed to it and bled for my (our) sins. People say "He could have called 10,000 angels" but you know what, He could have just skipped that seed altogether and that tree would never have been planted!
Most of my ancestors are from the UK area, mainly Scotland, but also England. This is where an amazing new anti-venom testing and study is taking place. More than 2000 sheep are injected with venom on a monthly basis, and one of the main (main) reasons the study is allowed to continue is that the blood never fails to do its job. Did you hear that? The Blood never fails. Oh, I am just so happy right now, and I'm thinking more people need to hear this. I think I'll send my blog to about 1000 churches this weekend to see if any of them wish to do a bit of research on the matter and do a bit of educating - - and witnesses, all at the same time.
Here is an article that talks a bit about it. You can find more. Be blessed. Be covered! The Blood of the True Lamb covers every sin.
Photo Credit: FBCTexarkana.orgJude Stringfellow's Blog
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