Nikko Lee's Blog, page 7

July 28, 2017

Am I a writer if I don't write?

Days, go by without writing. Then week and months. How long can I keep calling myself a writer if I'm not writing.


Life is busy. That sounds like a poor excuse. But with a toddler, a nursing infant who doesn't sleep through the night, a long commute, working full-time, trying to grow my teaching experience, a bedtime routine that now takes up to 2 hours... I just can't find even a spare minute to orient myself to writing.


That's not to say that I don't think about it. I have a novel that's been in revisions for nearly 3 years now. I have two novels that need to find new homes after my publisher closed at the beginning of the year.


I try to hold onto what I heard an author say. 'When the time is right, you will write.'


As I struggled to collect myself (this morning included a literal wrestling match get my daughter dressed) so I could write a summary on the commute in and failed, I couldn't help but wonder when will the time be right? And until then am I still a writer?

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Published on July 28, 2017 04:48

June 23, 2017

There's a monster

About three weeks ago, my 2.5 year old's normal bedtime delay tactics took on a more urgent tone. She became desperate to keep me in the room. Every time she was about to relax she would say she wasn't tired or that there was a monster.


Imagination is both a blessing and a curse. This is a typical stage toddlers go through when they start having a hard time distinguishing between reality and imagination. But that didn't make the bedtime struggles any easier.


We tried sitting with her.


We tried letting her cry.


We tried shooing away the monsters with her monster-fu fighting teddy bears or the fly swatter.


We tried monster hunts.


We tried sleeping in the same bed.


We read 'Monster at the end of this book'.


We made bedtime later.


We left her closet light on.


We left the door open.


We left her alone for increasing intervals and put her back to bed when she came out of her room.


Like so much of development, it was just a thing we had to get through. There are still monsters now and again - like at 4AM when she can't find her pacifier - but they are fewer and further between. 'There's a monster' is just her way of saying that she's scared and doesn't feel brave enough to be alone.


After three weeks of bedtime tears and begging for one more snuggle, we are finally back to the normal bedtime routine with a few extra steps. Time to enjoy the return of a little free time in the evening before the next sleep disturbance hits her or her younger brother.

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Published on June 23, 2017 16:51

May 24, 2017

Scared to vaccinate? So am I, but there is something I fear more.

Today was my son's six month wellness check. I knew what to expect having gone through the same thing with my daughter two years ago. I booked the day off of work because I know there's a chance he'll get a fever and an almost certainty that he will be uncomfortable, refuse to nap and want to be held.


No parent wants to cause their child pain. Lucas spend two days in the NICU after he was born. I could only hold his hands and sing to him as they made several attempts to set an IV. He doesn't remember those needles, but I do. I've never been fond of needles - who is? Add to that a lingering doubt, what if I'm choosing something that will harm my child and I could have prevented it?


We are luck to live in a country and time when many major childhood illnesses have almost been eradicated. I grew up in a time when everyone was vaccinated because one or two generations ago, children died of these disease or were permanently affected.


As long as there is one case in the world, a disease can always make a come back. We are seeing it currently with the drop in vaccination rates. Measles, mumps, whooping cough outbreaks are becoming increasingly common in the USA.


I'm a scientist. I understand there is no link between autism and vaccination. I know that my children do not have an allergy to ovalbumin. I know that the preservative in the vaccines will not harm them. Still there is always that lingering doubt. What if I'm making the wrong choice?


Parental guilt is inescapable. No matter what challenges our children face, we will always ask ourselves 'what could I have done differently'? I've watched the videos of mother's convinced that vaccinations caused or contributed to their child's development of autism. They are sincere in their belief and love their children very much.


There is just no science to back up their beliefs. In fact, there is ample research showing the effectiveness and safety of modern vaccines.


Yet it doesn't stop me from wondering 'what if'? But I know that the risks of a preventable outbreak grow with every year that the vaccination rates fall. And there is a proportion of children who cannot be vaccinated due to illness, immune disorders or allergies


So I vaccinate my children because I believe it is the best way to keep them and the children in our community safe from preventable illnesses.

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Published on May 24, 2017 10:51

May 9, 2017

Is there a middle ground between normalization and siloing?

Lately I've been confronted with views - political, social, intellectual and personal - from the opposite end of the spectrum of where I normally inhabit. As a scientist and contrarian, I value opposing views as they often force me to look at issues in a different light. In this brave new world of retro-romanticizing and granola glorification, the ideas gaining ground are often ones that I struggle to understand and value.


For the record, I am pro-vaccine, pro-science, pro-evolution, a climate change believer, pro-GMO, pro-choice, in favor of a separation of church and state, pro-public schooling, pro-fluorinating public water supplies and pro-social democracy.


I've generally tried to avoid engaging people with opposing views in their own homes. The old adage of not talking religion or politics in polite company is one that I've tried to integrate into my social media activities. I don't go to my conservative, pro-Trump friend and rail against the current administration just as I don't harangue my anti-vaxxer friend who posts memes about fluoride being added to the water supply to pacify the masses. I keep my views on my own and topic friendly forums.


After the election, I realized that I needed to take a more active role in advocating for the values I believe in. That has meant calling state officials, adding a countering view on news social media sites and not supporting companies and groups that propogate views that I believe to be dangerous to the general public and myself. The last thing I want to do in this current political climat is normalize a growing trend of anti-science, ultra-conservative, difference intolerant, quasi-religious views. I realized that there is really no way to change anyone's mind, especially not online.


But by withdrawing from these circles and conversations I wonder if I'm not guilty of intellectual siloing. Essentially isolating myself among my similarly believing peers.


I've been horrified by the animosity and paranoia spread by the right-leaning media. I've been shocked to see left leaning media engage in exaggerate headlines and fear-mongering.


I might not agree with anti-vaxers, but I know there are children who cannot be vaccinated for medical reasons. I also see the value in forcing the FDA to continue to re-examine the safety of widely administered agents. I've watched the videos of the moms with autistic children grasping at what they believe is the culprit of their child's illness without understanding that coincidence is not causation and that anecdotes are not evidence.


I have no problem with GMOs, but I can understand people wanting to make the choice of what industries to support and knowing what they put in their bodies. Just like the gluten-free labels, which were a real benefit to people with celiac disease, there may be people who are potentially allergic to some newly introduce component in their food. However, just like the gluten-free label, GMO-free has become a trendy marketing term and people rarely understand what it is they are so afraid of.


I fully support ourKatahdin Woods and Waters National Monument in Maine. Listening to an On Pointe discussion of the subject I was astounded by the opponents hyperbolic language that equated supporting the establishment of monuments by the federal government as being akin to supporting feudalism. His language completely undermined the very valid arguments about reducing taxible land bases in states with limited property taxes to support their public school systems.


Opposing views are good in that they force me to re-examine my position and often teach me about consequences I had not anticipated. That is the balance between opposites that established a common middle ground. Unfortunately, we seem to have lost our middle ground. Every outcome seems to be the end of the world for one view or another instead of being a working point for moving forward.


However, there are some views for which there is no middle ground.


Find a way of engaging people in calm rational discussions seems to be harder and harder. But avoid conflicting view points risks narrowing our knowledge. So I keep searching for a middle ground to stand on and simply have a conversation.


 


 

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Published on May 09, 2017 16:39

April 5, 2017

Immigrant among US

I was in high school when I became obsessed with genealogy. While writing a paper about the Salem witch trials, I came across a witness who shared my surname. I knew little about my paternal family history other than we were descended from loyalist.


I am Canadian. Half French-Canadian. Half American-loyalist. There is little to mark me as an immigrant. I am Caucasian. I speak English (and a heavily-accented French). I was raised half-Catholic, half-Protestant. And even though my ancestors first settled in Ipswich, Massachusetts, in the late 1600's, I am a foreigner in my country of residence.


A few weeks ago, I started the process of naturalization to become a US citizen. I first came to the USA as a dependent on my mother's visa. As a nurse, she and so many thousands of other nurses trained abroad obtained visas under NAFTA to work in the USA stemming a shortage of nurses. I attended high school in the USA but returned to Canada for my post-secondary education.


My post-doctoral research years were spent in the Ekker lab at the University of Minnesota under another NAFTA-generated visa. My first job was obtained using an H1B visa and later sponsored me for my green card application.


While I have watched the political process with interest, I had not felt the need to participate until this last year. However, green card holders cannot vote.


Even though I pass for an American, I am keenly aware that I am not - yet. I married an American and have two American-born children. Not having permanent status in the USA makes me a little nervous. Although I wouldn't mind returning to Canada, I have made my life in Maine and want to stay here. I also want a say in who runs the city, state and country.


So when someone asks what good NAFTA and H1B programs serve, I tell them my story. I am an immigrant.

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Published on April 05, 2017 16:43

March 29, 2017

What are you reading?

I've had precious little time to even think about writing, let alone put words to paper. I long for some energy and space to write. It will come. Right now my babies are my focus while I let my imagination percolate.


So I am trying to read. My stack includes:


-Finishing One Day As A Tiger by John Porter which I started two years ago about the evolution of speed mountaineering.


-The Precipice (Mike Bowditch, #6) by Paul Doiron (I'm about 2 pages into it)


-Widowmaker (Mike Bowditch, #7) by Paul Doiron


-The Chosen (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #15) by J.R. Ward (pre-ordered... I've missed severa; books in this series but this one looks promising)


What are you reading?

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Published on March 29, 2017 06:49

February 24, 2017

Writing in my spare time

Although I dream of one day making more than the odd dinner bill from my writings, I am one of those authors who writes in their spare time. This week I returned to work after 6 weeks of maternity leave plus 6 weeks of working from home part-time. My commute is an hour in each direction. I have a two year old and a 13 week old. So when do I find time to write?


I'd like to say that I stay up late to write, but my little nurseling gets me up several times a night so I need as much asleep as I can squeeze in between the time I turn off the lights and the alarm clock goes off. I'd like to say I wake up even earlier than my normal 4:45AM wake-up (usually after a 4AM feeding), but that's not going to happen. So do I write on weekends? Neither. My weekends are filled with chores and spending time with my children who I normally only see awake for 2-3 hours a day during the work week.


Don't get me wrong, I do have free time. After the kids are in bed and I've washed all the bottles and my pumping equipment, I have about 1 hour before bed time. During that time I can make calls to my members of congress because the current political system is just too FUBAR'ed to not say something. I plan to start throwing in some exercise during that time once I'm getting enough sleep to be coordinated. Eventually I may write again once I get enough mental and physical capacity to do anything other than crash on the couch beside my husband who pretty much runs the same schedule as me.


Right now, there just isn't any spare time to be had. Someone asked me when I will write again. It might take me a few months or even years, but I will write again.

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Published on February 24, 2017 16:33

February 6, 2017

Planned Parenthood Benefit: Divided We Fall By Lisabet Sarai

With all the recent political turmoil, it's important to support the causes we believe in. Planned Parenthood's funding is in jeopardy. This organization is often the only place some women can go for affordable health care including birth control and gynecological services. So I'm sharing Lisabet's latest benefit publication in hopes of helping her raise some money for this crucial organization.


All proceeds benefit Planned Parenthood!



Please note: This book includes racial slurs that might not be considered acceptable by some readers.  Using these terms was deliberate, and necessary, since they are symptoms of the inter-group prejudice and suspicion that provide the main conflict in this story.


Blurb


Linh’s three year old brother has wandered out of Viet Village into Niggertown. Despite the danger, she has no choice but to go looking for him in hostile territory. She manages to convince the rifle-toting guard at the entrance to the black ghetto to help her search, using a mixture of bribery and bravado. As they comb the desolate streets of Niggertown, seeking any trace of Duy, Linh discovers that the barrio’s inhabitants aren’t necessarily the violent, drug-addled brutes she’s been taught to hate, and by the time Linh and Steel have rescued the injured toddler and spent a long night hiding in a derelict building, she has come to understand who are their real enemies.


 


Buy Links


Amazon  US –  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N163BNU/


Amazon UK -   https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01N163BNU/


Smashwords –  https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/699997


Barnes and Noble -  http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/divided-we-fall-lisabet-sarai/1125594805?ean=2940153989365


Kobo - https://www.kobo.com/th/en/ebook/divided-we-fall-7 


Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34053587-divided-we-fall


 


PG Excerpt (no racial slurs) 


“Can’t go nowhere now. Gonna be dark in quarter of an hour. And believe me, girl, you don’t want to be out after dark around here.” Cradling Duy in his arms, he climbs the iron and concrete steps leading to the first floor apartments. In the old days, they would have had a view of the swimming pool.


He nudges one door open with a sneaker-clad foot. “This place is in pretty good shape.” He must have done some exploring, I realize, while looking for first aid supplies. “No electric, but the roof’s solid, and so’s the lock on the door."


I step into what had been the living room. It’s been totally stripped of furniture, aside from a broken dinette chair in one corner. The looters even tore up the carpets, exposing the rough wooden planks underneath. Through the uncurtained picture window beside the door, I can look across the courtyard to the corresponding apartment on the other arm of the U. Behind the building, palms make graceful silhouettes against a purple-streaked sky.


“Throw the bolt,” Steel orders, already headed for the bedroom with my unconscious brother. I follow his instructions, then join him. There’s no bed, either, but a tangle of towels, sheets and blankets cover the floor.


“Found these in a locked closet,” he says with a grin as he arranges Duy’s body on the nest of moderately clean fabric. “Guess the looters were too lazy to get it open.”


I sink to my knees next to the plump three year old. He lies on his back, the improvised splint resting on his chest. Although he’s totally motionless, his breathing is deep and even. “How long will he sleep?”


“Dunno. Don’t usually give oxy to kids. We carry it in case something happens on a foraging run.”  He reads the concern in my face, even in the dim light. “Don’t worry, Linh. He’ll be okay.”


It’s the first time he’s called me anything but “girl” or “bitch”. Shows he’s paying attention, too. It turns me strange for a moment, soft. And that sets alarm bells ringing in my head.


 


About Lisabet


Lisabet Sarai became addicted to words at an early age. She began reading when she was four. She wrote her first story at five years old and her first poem at seven. Since then, she has written plays, tutorials, scholarly articles, marketing brochures, software specifications, self-help books, press releases, a five-hundred page dissertation, and lots of erotica and erotic romance – nearly one hundred titles, and counting, in nearly every sub-genre—paranormal, scifi, ménage, BDSM, GLBT, and more. Regardless of the genre, every one of her stories illustrates her motto: Imagination is the ultimate aphrodisiac.


You’ll find information and excerpts from all Lisabet’s books on her website (http://www.lisabetsarai.com/books.html), along with more than fifty free stories and lots more. At her blog Beyond Romance (http://lisabetsarai.blogspot.com), she shares her philosophy and her news and hosts lots of other great authors. She’s also on Goodreads and finally, on Twitter.

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Published on February 06, 2017 04:37

January 24, 2017

Finding new homes for Wolf Creek and Spar

I received my return of rights documents faster than anticipated. The good is that I can start looking for publishers to print my novels. The bad is that I actually have to find a publisher that is willing to reprint a novel. For one publisher I will need to add new material to the existing manuscript. This is challenging because I'm so used to the flow of the stories at this point. But it is also exciting that I will get to create at the very least a few new scenes and possibly add in new elements to the story.


Motherhood and working part-time from home are keeping me too busy to write. The stories are never too far from my mind. Even Safe Word runs through my mind occasionally.


Soon it will be the right time to write. Until then I am trying not to worry about my abandoned literary children.

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Published on January 24, 2017 16:14

December 30, 2016

Return of Rights and What Happens Next

I've recently learned that my publisher is closing up shop next year. This means that soon Wolf Creek and Spar will no longer be available. Within the next 90 days or so, I should receive the rights to the works returned to me and I'm left wondering what happens next.


Do I self-publish?


Do I resubmit to another publisher in the hopes that they will pick up a story that's already been published?


In either case, I need the return of rights documentation. Then I need to see about the rights to the final copy verses the original and the cover art.


This isn't the firt time I've had to deal with a return or rights when a publisher closes, but it is the first time that it's for published works. I hate to think of my two novels disappearing from the shelves never to be seen again. However, I am dreading that will be their fate. Either way, if you want a copy of their, pick it up now before it is no longer available.

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Published on December 30, 2016 17:33