Deborah L. McCarragher's Blog, page 8

Be My "First Love" - Valentine

Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages (written Valentines didn't begin to appear until after 1400), and the oldest known Valentine card is on display at the British Museum. The first commercial Valentine's Day greeting cards produced in the U.S. were created in the 1840's by Esther A. Howland. (courtesy Wikipedia)


If God were to send you a Valentine what would it look like?

That is not a difficult question to answer if you are a Christian, for He has already given you one...  God's Word is His Valentine to you and me.  Not just any Valentine - but one that transcends our ability to grasp it's full impact.  God's Love Letter is given to us for all time and for all circumstances.  It is not limited to a special holiday.

God's requirement for us as His beloved is that we make Him our "first love" - wholly committed to Him. Our heart represents our core being.  Loving God with our whole heart means our affections must be focused foremost and fully on Him first. Only then can we love others with the love He loves us...

Love is the highest form of affection.  Agape love is the highest form of love according to God's Word. In your spiritually uneven marriage God wants to love your spouse through you, and that means even when you don't feel like it. 

It is the volition of your will that will direct your emotional response. Decide now that you will show your love by your actions.  Remember your vows:  to love and cherish, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health...  Loving your husband needs to be unconditional and intentional.



When I write these posts I can honestly say I am reinforcing my own need to hear this.  I write and read these blog articles for my own admonishment and encouragement! I too struggle with emotions and the up and down feelings that accompany any marriage - especially when you are spiritually mismatched.  There is often a disconnect - a drifting apart that occurs with regards to spiritual intimacy.

This Valentine's Day do something special for your mate. .Sure - give them candy hearts and a card. Make them their favorite meal and spend quality time together.  Then give them something unexpected..

Give them a look in the eye honest thank-you for all that you have been through together. Men desire - no, men need our respect and love. Tell them that you’d marry them all over again – that they are just what God designed for you! Reinforce that through your marriage, children, family issues, parents' deaths, surgeries, illnesses, moves, remodels, and lots of other LIFE events, that you are totally committed to them!

What has touched my heart more than anything else over the years has been a consistent hand-written note in every Valentine card I receive from my husband, telling me that he loves me, and thanking God for me. This is a gesture of love coming from a man who has yet to make Jesus Christ the Lord of his life. How blessed I am!



In the book of Ephesians Chapter 5 commands us to walk in love towards one another. The Apostle Paul is teaching on submitting to one another in the fear of God. Husbands are admonished to love their wives just as Christ loves the church. Wives are taught to respect their husbands. 
This portion of Scripture is not just for Christian marriages - but for all marriages. Our submission to Christ in our marriage is key to pleasing Him and our spouse.  You can visit a previous post I wrote on the subject of submission  HERE .

Give your husband a Valentine straight from God's heart... give him love abounding from a grateful heart established in God's Word - full of peace and grace!










Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

A Valentine Gift Idea

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, I wanted to introduce you to an exciting line of jewelry that I recently discovered.





The Gracewear Collection is based on God's Word - specifically Ephesians 6:10-18. Gracewear encourages women to put on the full Armor of God daily for His protection, mercy, and grace. The signature design for Gracewear is the Shield of Faith . 


Their vision is to share with women about the gift of God's Grace, and His promise that there is absolutely NO sin- great or small -that His Grace will not cover. God calls us to be ambassadors for Christ and to let His love and light shine through us. The Gracewear Collection, based on Ephesians 6:10-18 is created to offer HOPE and LIGHT- through the Power of the Shield. 

Gracewear is the perfect gift for your mother, daughter, grandmother, granddaughter, aunt, niece, or any other special person in your life, (or maybe just for yourself).  

These quality pieces reflect Gracewear's commitment to affordable, stunning designs as well as honoring God through their message.

Check out their extensive collection of jewelry at my   Affiliate Link   below. Be sure to visit their "Sale" and "New Arrivals"  items.

I just love the pieces I ordered and will wear them proudly.  I will ..."always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you..." (I Peter 3:15)





Be Shielded with the Full Armor of God! Shop Now! http://gracewearcollection.com/








Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. 
Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

Are You Properly Dressed for Battle? Your Marriage Depends on it...

Do you find yourself battling your mate more often in the spiritual realm at home?  Are you being attacked by Satan in your spiritually mismatched marriage?

We all struggle with our thought life, but do you find yourself increasingly agitated around your spouse?

There are forces of darkness that are permeating your home and influencing your mate in a negative way. TV, movies, video games, the internet and other social media are gateways for negative spiritual advances.

As a child of the Living God - we will have times when evil spirits infiltrate our spaces and create a "tug of war" between God's Kingdom and the kingdom of darkness.  We must be aware of this fact in order to battle it effectively using God's weapons of warfare.

As believers - we are commanded to take up our spiritual armor and stand for righteousness! 

The Bible is replete with examples of taking up arms against the forces of evil.  Oftentimes the children of the Most High fought battle after battle as the underdogs - but they dutifully donned the right battle gear for the fight.

In biblical days the Israelites primarily had two types of armor they wore depending upon the battle at hand:  Light armor consisted of a sling, bow and quiver. Heavy armor included a large shield, helmet and spear (or sword).

Our spiritual armor for today's battles are both offensive and defensive in nature. It should be noted that there is no formal protection from a rear attack, confirming the assertion that we never retreat with the Lord. Isaiah 52:12 states, “For the Lord will go before you, and the God of Israel will be your rear guard.”

“The whole armor of God” conveys the message of a heavily-armed soldier. Paul describes in Ephesians 6:10-17 the various pieces of spiritual armor the believer should wear. Paul states in verse 10 and 11, “Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.”

Paul most likely thought of the heavily armored Roman guards as he penned his description of our battle gear. Of course, his concern was the spiritual battle the followers of Christ would encounter as they were persecuted for their faith. He understood the importance of praying and relying on God’s strength in times of trail.  He knew that Satan desired the destruction of the early church. Peter also wrote about evil and spiritual battles. I Peter 5:8 tells us to, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.”

The belt (girdle) was worn around the waist and held the sword in place as it hung ready for battle. Truth is our belt and it wraps around our very being, keeping us steady, sure, and grounded for God’s use. His Truth is His Word, and we must walk in it purposefully. Jesus is Himself the Way, the Truth and the Life (John 14:6). Truth sets us free from the bondage of sin and deception (John 8:32).

The breastplate covered the life-giving organs including the heart and lungs. The righteousness of Christ must be our covering. Our heart is the center of our emotions. We are to be strong and courageous, which involves the will. A soldier can be well armed, and yet venerable to destruction if he is timid or faint of heart. No physical covering can protect him from spiritual harm unless he is stout of heart and resolute. I Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

The sandals (greaves) covered the feet & shins, and prevented injury from sharp sticks and gall-traps. Spiritually speaking, the shoes carry the good news of the gospel and take us steadily on our way to the cross. Isaiah 52:7 says, “How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news…who proclaims salvation.” We should step mindfully towards the world with the gospel of Christ in our journey with God.

The shield is invaluable as a defensive weapon. Ephesians verse 16 tells us that “above all take up the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.” It is the most important piece of armor we possess in order to combat the enemy effectively. King David equates God Himself to a shield, as he found solace in His Presence. Psalm 18:2 tells us, “My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” And again in Psalm 91:4, “His truth shall be your shield and buckler.” 

Our shield of faith enables us to stand firmly without fear or worry concerning our destiny. We have but one thing to do, and that is to stand, therefore, and observe God’s sovereign action on our behalf. This is one piece of armor that needs to be “well worn” – pitted and dented from scores of lethal arrows repeatedly assaulting our person. The enemy of God’s children never ceases to war against us, and so we must keep our shield up, strong and steady.

The helmet was worn to protect the head from physical harm. We must wear our spiritual helmet and have “the mind of Christ” as we clash with the enemy. The mind is the battlefield where we must “cast down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ” (II Corinthians 10:5). I Thessalonians 5:8 declares we should, “put on…as a helmet the hope of salvation."  As believers our salvation assures us of the hope we have in Him.

The sword is the first weapon mentioned in the Bible. Genesis 3:24 describes, “a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.” Revelation 1:16 states, “He [Jesus] had in His right hand seven stars, out of His mouth went a sharp two-edged sword, and His countenance was like the sun shining it its strength.”  

In Hebrews 4:12, the Apostle Paul tells us, “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”

The sword in our arsenal of weapons is razor-sharp and makes a clean, swift cut. God’s Word penetrates and stabs at the evil intended for our harm. It disarms the enemy with one quick blow, severing its demonic head. Our Lord Jesus always used the Word when speaking to Satan. The gospels record the dialog in Matthew, Mark and Luke as Jesus repeated the phrase, “It is written…” Be sure to use your sword often and with deadly precision.


In II Corinthians 10:3-4 Paul writes,  “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds.”  God’s arsenal of weapons is powerful and decisive. James says to,  “Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you”  (James 4:7).

 Remember, it is God who goes before you in battle.  “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment you shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is from Me, says the Lord”  (Isaiah 54:17).

Be sure your armor is effective:
Inspect it often.  Adjust it properly.  Wear it always.






Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others. 

3...2...1... HAPPY NEW YEAR !!

Just like Groundhog Day - it's a replay from the year before... New Year's Eve and all the anticipation that it brings...

We make resolutions, start diets & exercise, begin healthy habits, quit things that we've decided not to do anymore, all in an attempt to start afresh with a clean slate...

So - why do we feel like all the effort never pays off?  What can we do differently THIS YEAR to make our goals and dreams a reality?

Remember, you are in control of your own spiritual destiny with God.  Your mind, will, and emotions play an important part. Your volitional level involves your will (or willingness).  Your emotions and intellect carry out your desire. Make sure you aim for success by making the decision to follow through with your plans.  Here are a few tips to get you started...

First of all ---  Don't stress out about it!  God's Word declares His mercy and compassion are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23).  When we fail (and we will) we know He is a God of fresh beginnings and second chances.  These are two of my favorites verses for encouragement:

Isaiah 43:18-19 “Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”  

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, go give you a future and a hope."

Secondly ---  Map out your overall strategy for the year ahead. Start out with small steps towards your goal. Keep reminding yourself that you're doing better than the previous year. Stay focused on the "big picture" and not on your failures. You will have setbacks and disappointments, so be ready for bumps in the road.  Thank God for your progress and ask Him to help you in your spiritual journey.




Thirdly ---  Keep on keeping on! Don't give up or let the enemy of your soul taunt you. Every day that you set your mind and affection on Jesus Christ is a winning day. Bask in His Word, keep on praying, and stay in fellowship with other believers. Isolation is one of Satan's greatest weapons. Encourage yourself daily in the Lord.  Ask Him to help you succeed by producing good fruit in your spiritual life (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control).


As we walk day by day through the year 2015, let us be comforted by this great hymn.
Leaning on the Everlasting Arms
What a fellowship, what a joy divine,Leaning on the everlasting arms;What a blessedness, what a peace is mine,Leaning on the everlasting arms.
   Leaning, leaning,   Safe and secure from all alarms;   Leaning, leaning,   Leaning on the everlasting arms.
O, how sweet to walk in this pilgrim way,Leaning on the everlasting arms;O, how bright the path grows from day to day,Leaning on the everlasting arms.
What have I to dread, what have I to fear,Leaning on the everlasting arms?I have blessed peace with my Lord so near,Leaning on the everlasting arms.
(Elisha Albright Hoffman)

In this new year resolve to make forward progress towards Christ:

As the Apostle Paul states in Philippians verse 13-14, “but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”  


Enjoy two of my favorite New Year's Eve posts from years past:
The New Year - Time For a Change

A Sure Foundation for the New Year





Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com
If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others. 

A Child Is Born - A Son Is Given...

For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given; And the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called  Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,  Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace… (Isaiah 9:6-7)

A Child is born Immanuel ~ God with us - the Word made flesh.Birthed in Bethlehem among the shepherds.Born of a woman - her womb His home.God incarnate - His cries pierce heaven.The promise of Israel - chosen and manifest for us.
A Son is given Son of the Living God, beloved of His Father.The son of a carpenter, beloved of his earthly father.The Son of Man - given for all mankind.
The government will be upon His Shoulder Ruler of all - King of kings and Lord of lordsThe earth is His in all fullness and form. He rules in righteousness and His judgments are just.He reigns with love and bears our burden.
His name will be called Wonderful He is wonderful and too lofty to comprehend.His works are marvelous and beyond words.Mercy and grace are His manifold gifts.
Counselor His Spirit guides us into all truth.His ways are higher and His wisdom is renown.His counsel is wise and His thoughts are pure.He advocates for justice and fairness.
Mighty God His name is El Elyon - our God Most High  He is Elohim - Creator of all things.He is mighty to save - a strong tower of refuge.
Everlasting Father He is the Eternal God - from everlasting to everlasting.Father of the living - now and forevermore.
Prince of Peace He is the Prince of the earth - keeper of all things.Love is His scepter and healing is His balm.His peace shall increase and abound more and more.His peace is desired above all treasures on earth.

What does this Child mean to you?  Does Christmas warm your heart and stir your spirit?  Does Jesus Christ fulfill your longing and comfort your soul?  This Child is like none other...


 What Child Is This?
What child is this, who, laid to rest,On Mary's lap is sleeping?Whom angels greet with anthems sweet,While shepherds watch are keeping?
   This, this is Christ the King,   Whom shepherds guard and angels sing;   Haste, haste to bring Him laud,   The babe, the son of Mary.
Why lies He in such mean estateWhere ox and ass are feeding?Good Christian, fear, for sinners hereThe silent Word is pleading.
So bring Him incense, gold, and myrrh,Come, peasant, king, to own Him;The Kings of kings salvation brings,Let loving hearts enthrone Him.
William Chatterton Dix  (1837-1898)





The holiday season is often stressful and especially so if you are living in an unequally-yoked marriage. Here are a couple of my favorite past Christmas blog posts to enjoy:
The Magnificat - God Had a Plan All Along
Mary, Did You Know?

If you do not yet have a relationship with Jesus Christ - please take a moment to visit the Billy Graham Evangelistic Assoc. website for an introduction on how you can know Him personally 
and begin a new life as a Christian believer.
Billy Graham - STEPS TO PEACE WITH GOD








Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com
If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

The Walking Dead

Zombies are all the rage now... 

With the success of popular TV shows like AMC's  The Walking Dead  - our fascination with death and corpses is on the rise. Based on a comic book series by the same name, The Walking Dead focuses on a post-apocalyptic world where flesh eating zombies rule.  

Night of the Living Dead was a popular horror movie made in 1968 featuring zombies, and still boasts a cult following today.  So what fuels our culture's obsession with death?  Could part of it be denial of our own mortality?  

Halloween seems to bring out the worst in morbid costumes and decorations. Death and gore are glorified. Zombies, demons, witches and spooky monsters abound. What are Christians to do with this "holiday" that is celebrated from infancy to adulthood?

First of all - a little history lesson on Halloween:  It was a Celtic pagan festival, and then became the Christian holiday known as  All Saints' Day , but later morphed into the secular celebration of today. 

Halloween  activities include trick-or treating, wearing costumes, carving Jack-o'-lanterns, apple bobbing, visiting haunted attractions, committing pranks, telling ghost stories or other frightening tales, and watching classic horror films.



In traditional Celtic festivals, large turnips were hollowed out, carved with faces and placed in windows to ward off evil spirits.  The carving of pumpkins is associated with  Halloween  in North America where pumpkins are both readily available and much larger – making them easier to carve than turnips. Many families that celebrate Halloween carve a pumpkin into a frightening or comical face and place it on their doorstep after dark.  

The practice of dressing up in costumes and begging door to door for treats on holidays dates back to the Middle Ages.  Trick-or-treating resembles the late medieval practice of souling, originating in Ireland and Britain.  Poor folk would go door to door on Hallowmas (November 1st), receiving food in return for prayers for the dead on All Souls Day (November 2nd).

The early Christian church moved a festive celebration called All Saints' Day from May to November 1 and renamed it   All Hallows' Eve , from which we get the word Halloween .  This was an overt attempt on the part of believers to infiltrate pagan tradition with the truth of the gospel.  It was a bold evangelistic move designed to demonstrate that only the power of the resurrected Christ could protect men and women from the destructive ploys of Satan and his demons.

An article posted on ChristianityToday.com  in 2009 cited a Barna Research study which had this to say:
“The majority of American Christians do not believe that Satan is a real being or that the Holy Spirit is a living entity, the latest Barna Research survey found. Nearly six out of ten Christians either strongly agreed or somewhat agreed with the statement that Satan “is not a living being but is a symbol of evil,” the survey found.  40 percent strongly agreed with the statement while 19 percent of American Christians somewhat agreed.  In contrast, about 35 percent of American Christians believe Satan is real.  20 percent strongly disagreed with the statement that Satan is merely symbolic and about one-tenth (9 percent) somewhat disagreed. The remaining 8 percent of American Christians responded they were unsure what to believe about the existence of Satan.” [image error]
Anyone who is not in Christ is one of the "walking dead" already (in the spiritual realm).  What can we as believers do to counter-balance a society that deems  Halloween  “harmless?” For starters, we can have an open door for evangelism and education. The deception of a holiday such as Halloween, with its witches, vampires, demons, skeletons, and overall theme of evil, can become an opportunity to demonstrate the dynamic power of Christ to redeem us from death.   Halloween  distorts the reality of true spiritual warfare, and glorifies the dark side of the under world.  
Although death and the grave are very real, evil has been defeated by Jesus Christ through His death on the cross. We are more than conquerors over the powers of darkness, demonstrated by Jesus’ resurrection Colossians 2:15, and the Holy Spirit’s power in us as believers Ephesians 6:11-17.
Jesus is the Resurrection and the Life  – He is Lord of the living, as death has no power over those who believe on His Name. If you want to have a life changing personal relationship with Jesus Christ - please visit  Steps to Peace with God
“For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus… For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God.  And the dead in Christ will rise first.”   I Thessalonians 4:14; 16





Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together. Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com
If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

Left Behind or Forward March?

With the premier of the new movie LEFT BEHIND - I was again feeling a bit uneasy. If you are a believer in Jesus Christ, then most likely you have family members who aren't. This is especially difficult if you have a spouse who doesn't yet profess the name of Jesus as Savior.

I asked my husband if he would like to see the much anticipated movie at the theater near us next week. His mother had read many of the books years ago and enjoyed them from a "fiction" standpoint. I don't recall that he ever read one himself.  However, he just might go see this movie with me out of nothing more than obligation and sheer curiosity.

He did surprise me this summer when he came home with the DVD  SON OF GOD .  He said we could watch it together. I couldn't believe my ears. I had watched the entire mini series on the History Channel when it originally aired and he had often watched portions with me.  He never discussed them, but continued watching nonetheless.

God is always working behind the scenes.  In my book MISSION POSSIBLE, I mention the fact that your spouse will unknowingly be drawn "to the things of God in you" - completely unaware of God's sovereignty in all circumstances. Our "fruit of the Spirit" (Galatians 5:22-23) all serve to point your spouse (unaware) to God. They will notice the difference, but not be able to pin-point when it happened or why.

So - as time marches on I continue to hold onto the hope that he will indeed ask Jesus into his heart.  I and many others have "planted seed", another will "water" and God will "bring the increase." My husband's salvation is nearer now that it has ever been.

If you are married to someone who doesn't yet know the Lord, or you are not really sure about their salvation - my previous post A Bona Fide Convert  will give you something to think about.

Only God knows the condition of their heart. Only He knows what it will take to soften it and move mightily in their particular situation. Our duty is to pray and live out our life as a testimony of God's goodness and grace in action.

Are you waiting for your miracle? Do you tire at the thought of attending church alone or longing for a true spiritual leader in your home? Put your faith in God's faithfulness and His promises.


"The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance."  (II Peter 3:9)







Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com
If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

You need to check your eye --- I think I see a speck...

"I bet he is enjoying the fact that I made a mistake!" I thought to myself. 

How often do I imagine the wrong response and correlating reason for it?

We all do it - married or not... We play Holy Spirit junior (as it were) in an attempt to filter someone else's actions through our own imperfect lens.

The following passage in Matthew 7:1-5 is a familiar one. Jesus Himself is calling out the hypocrites in the crowd. He is teaching on judging others. It is one of the most misunderstood and misinterpreted scripture references:
     
"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the same measure you use, it will be measured back to you.  And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?  Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck out of your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye?  Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother's eye."

There is only one Righteous Judge. When we judge another according to our own standards - we invite the same standard used against us.  Reaping and sowing is an eternal law.  How foolish of us to think that we can withstand judgment according to our own making!  There is a time for judgment with regards to a believer when they are in sin.  The bible devotes passages to church discipline and admonishment. Jesus' own words appear in Matthew 18:15-17.

We think we know why people do or say what   they do or say.  We play amateur clinical psychologist and do a quick analysis of their actions.  We filter their words through our own auditory prism instead of a grace filled ear.  We must be careful when we overextend our comments and thoughts - especially in our marriage.

Oftentimes we are guilty of actually judging their motives - not their actions.  That in and of itself is dangerous, and is outright unspiritual in nature. First, it speaks to a "trust" issue.  Not only do you question their trustworthiness, but you assign a wrong motive to their deed or words. God alone knows the heart motive and sees their intent.  We are better served by extending grace (undeserved favor) to the person and let God bring conviction when it is necessary regarding the circumstances.


In Oswald Chamber's The Utmost for His Highest, he writes the following,

"The average Christian is the most penetratingly critical individual... the Holy Ghost is the only One in  the true position to criticize, He alone is able to show what is wrong without hurting and wounding... There is no getting away from the penetration of Jesus. If I see the mote in your eye, it means I have a beam in my own. Every wrong thing that I see in you, God locates in me. Every time I judge, I condemn myself (see Romans 2:17-20)."

If I examine my spouse's motives, I risk projecting my own thought process onto their actions.  If I tend to be a bit more defensive when confronted - I might unfairly assign defensiveness to his words or body language. If I downplay their enthusiasm for a particular event, plan or purchase - I risk hurting their feelings and injuring the relationship.  I must stop criticizing the "why" before I know the "what" .

Make certain that you refrain from lashing out when you are on the receiving end of criticism and anger. There is often another hidden reason for their outburst and sarcasm. We never really know what has transpired during their day or just before the incident that left you feeling wounded. It might be best to separate yourself for a brief period of time before you respond in a manner that is anything but Christ-like.

I often have to send up one of those "SOS" prayers to the Lord, asking for wisdom and for help with keeping my mouth shut when it is needed.  I don't need to irritate and agitate - I need to disarm and chill out!
I need the Holy Spirit to take over and bring calm to a situation that is spiraling out of control.

Extending grace is not focusing on the faults of others - but rather covering them in love. 






Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

Labor Day - Work is a beautiful thing...

Copyright: 123RF Stock Photo Work is the natural exercise and function of man... Work is not primarily a thing one does to live, but the thing one lives to do.  It is, or should be, the full expression of the worker's faculties, the thing in which he finds spiritual, mental and bodily satisfaction, and the medium in which he offers himself to God.
~ Dorothy L. Sayers


Work is to be celebrated. Work is a God given privilege - bringing with it much satisfaction when it is tempered with wisdom.

Abraham Lincoln once said, "The desire to work is so rare that it must be encouraged wherever it is found."

In the Kingdom of God - we are His fellow workers. Paul tells us in in I Corinthians 15:58, "Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord."

Labor Day is celebrated in many ways across America. Here is a link to one of my favorite posts from last year:       Labor is Hard Work


Work is viewed differently depending on your perspective. Here's a great example:
A stranger came to three workmen all of whom were employed on the same job.  He asked each worker what he was doing.  Growled the first man: "I'm breaking rocks."  Said the second:  "I'm earning a living."  But the third man replied with a smile, "I'm building a cathedral."



Enjoy the Labor Day weekend - but most of all - thank God for your ability to do a good honest day's work. A laborer is surely worthy of his or her wages.  Keep up the good work!





Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com

If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.

Are You "Missing In Action" ?

There’s nothing worse than missing church and feeling guilty. Well, that is what the enemy wants me to focus on.
I have had an unusual situation arise since my husband had back surgery in mid-May.  We have two large dogs that require a morning walk.  Now that we have downsized to a condo, we no longer have a yard to let them out. We have to take them outside on leash and walk for a while. I have created my own monsters by walking them every morning – thus they expect it! (weather permitting)  However, my husband cannot physically take them on their walk alone until his back gets stronger.
So – the enemy has taken great delight in making me feel like a backslidden Christian for missing church for so long. You and I know that is baloney – but it does affect your thinking nonetheless.
My husband generally does not attend church with me.  During my hiatus from my local church I have fallen prey to the idea that I am a bad Christian – a slacker for staying home.  Of course, there have been many instances where I read my devotionals and listened to sermons online, did personal Bible study, or walked and talked to the Lord instead. 
My being a Christian has more to do with my mind, my heart and my relationship with my Savior than it does with church attendance.  

I have a personal relationship with Jesus - not religion.  I wrote a Blog post about this subject and you can read it here:   It's All About a Relationship With Jesus
Ministering to my husband and meeting his needs right now are more important to me (and certainly to the Lord) than my desire to be in church for my own pleasure and fulfillment. Don’t get me wrong, I worry about staying away from the fold too long.  I don’t want to be complacent about missing the fellowship, Sunday school time, and corporate worship.  My spiritual gifts are needed in my local church.
However, I know that there is a season for everything, and I will make my way back to the flock soon.  I have already signed up for a Ladies Bible Study group starting up in August when school is back in session.  I really miss my woman to woman time in God’s Word with God's people.
In the meantime, I am struggling to find my own balance between quiet time and husband time.  Since his retirement I have struggled to get into some type of daily routine with the Lord. 

But alas, flexibility is the key to harmony within a spiritually mismatched marriage.  There are many times I just have to go with the flow and plug into Jesus when I can do it.
Here is a brief excerpt from my book MISSION POSSIBLE:
Chapter 6 ~  In the Meantime - Serve
Balance is crucial when  it comes to home, church, and work.  Pray that God will prepare their hearts and give you that understanding and favor regarding “God assignments”.  Use  spiritual sensitivity  and  discernment  when it comes to volunteering yourself for everything that comes your way at church.  
God will affirm to you the “right things to do”, and conversely, He will squelch those things which are “wrong” for you at the time.  You must stay in touch with God on a daily basis through prayer, reading the Word, and the Spirit’s leading  in order to know His will for you and your household.   
There were many times I would talk to my husband, asking him if he would mind if I went to a conference, or took a class, or volunteered for a project.  I believe respect went a long way…  He knew if he really didn’t want me to do something (within reason),  that I would decline.  However,  if God made it clear to me that I “must” do something for Him,  I would risk the flow of harmony in the home and pursue it with gentle love and understanding.

Do you struggle with similar circumstances in your marriage? Do you find yourself reeling in guilt because you missed another church service? Will God understand again this time?
Oh yes… He understands.  He knows your heart’s cry and your deep desires.  He extends His mercy where pain and heaviness resides.  He is ready to infuse you with His Spirit and enfold you in His grace.

 


Deborah is the author of a Christian non-fiction book titled “Mission Possible”. It is written for women who love the Lord Jesus, but their spouse doesn’t share their passion.  It will encourage and challenge the reader to embrace God’s promises for their spouse and future together.  Visit  http://www.spirituallyunevenmarriage.com
If you have been encouraged by this post - please take time to share it with others.