Hannah Braime's Blog, page 19
May 6, 2016
94: Want to Become More Self-Expressive? Try Doing These 5 Things
Our level of self-expression defines how much of ourselves we share with the world. It’s vital to our wellbeing and sense of wholeness, yet a lot of us also struggle to become more self-expressive. We worry that parts of ourselves could be judged or rejected by others, so we hide or change these parts to try to better fit in. We might assume other people know better, or place their opinion as more important than our own, and so hold back when it comes to expressing our opinions or ideas.
In this episode, I’m talking about why self-expression is so important, and sharing 5 things we can all start doing to become more self-expressive in our daily lives. You can find the resources and links mentioned in this episode below.
Episode: Want to Become More Self-Expressive? Try Doing These 5 Things
These suggestions are:
Know what it is you’re expressing (which means knowing yourself)
Start noticing where you hold back
Watch how you label yourself
Follow your curiosity
Assume the best
Want to become more self-expressive? Start doing these 5 things.
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Useful Links
Download Daring Greatly by Brené Brown for free with Audible.com
Join the BWYA Community and download the Discover Your Values workbook
The VIA Strengths Test
(Unofficial) Myers-Briggs test
The Ultimate Guide to Journaling by Hannah Braime
750words.com
Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
The Powerful 3-Word Phrase That Makes Me a Better Person
Say Hello
Hannah
Twitter: @hannahbraime
Facebook: facebook.com/becomingwhoyouare
Website: becomingwhoyouare.net
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Intro and outro: Stephanie Murphy
Image: Marion Michele via Unsplash
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May 3, 2016
The Self-Kindness Kit is Here! Save 90% on 21 Ebooks, Courses & Programs
Do you find it natural to show kindness and compassion towards others but struggle when it comes to yourself? Do you devote time and energy to your relationships with other people but forget to nurture your relationship with you? Would you like to feel compassionate, confident and accepting towards all parts of yourself (not just the comfortable and shiny parts)?
If you answered “yes” to any of the questions above, you’ll love what I have to share with you this week.
The Self-Kindness Kit is a digital bundle containing 21 products from coaches, writers, and health and well-being experts that will help you deepen the most important relationship in your life—the one with yourself.
I’m contributing my multimedia e-course How to Start Journaling for Personal Growth, plus a brand new guide called How to Create Your Own Self-Kindness Kit, which you can purchase alongside 19 other ebooks, e-courses and programs for just $79 (a 90% saving) for 72 hours from today.
Here are all the fabulous products you get in the Self-Kindness Kit:
Brave Love by Mara Glatzel (value $39)
Beloved Beginnings: A 10-day Journey to Spark Your Self-Compassion Path by Vivienne McMaster (value $29)
Relax and Write Combo: Creative Wellness Guided Meditations & Life Source Writing Ebook by Lynda Monk (value $23)
Stand Tall & Speak From the Heart: How to Find Your Way by Arianna Merritt (value $14)
Love Your Body the Way It Is by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt (value $9.99)
23 Days Self Discovery Journaling Challenge by Mari McCarthy (value $23.97)
The Complete Self-Care Toolkit by Ellen Bard (value $97)
The Gratitude Project Digital Book by Eli Trier (value $5)
Write Your Way Whole by Claire J DeBoer (value $147)
Living with Ease: The Mindful Way to Dissolve Stress by Sandra Pawula (value $19.95)
Devoted to Self-Care: The Essential Guide to Enriching Your Life and Taking Care of You by Erin Williams (value $22)
The Happiness Habit: 21 Days from Blah to Blissed Out by Michelle DeSpain (value $149)
How to Start Journaling for Personal Growth by Hannah Braime (value $31)
Growing Gratitude: Kickstart an Easy-to-Keep Gratitude Practice by Wendy de Jong (value $29)
The Mindful Body Program by Paige Burkes (value $47)
Hella Metta: A 10-day Meditation Course to Cultivate Fierce Lovingkindness by Christy Tending (value $39)
Breathe Acknowledge Release: 3 Steps to Stress Management by Lara Heacock (value $30)
Love This Journal and Yourself by Raewyn Sangari (value $10)
How to Create Your Own Self-Kindness Kit by Hannah Braime (value $20)
21 Days of Radical Self-Care Rituals: Simple Daily Shifts for Divine Alignment by Elena Lipson (value $22)
Prepping Your Kitchen for Plant-Based Wellness by Grace Quantock (value $43)
You’ll also get five bonus products, including a suggested lesson plan so you can work through these delightful books and courses without feeling overwhelmed.
The total value of The Self-Kindness Kit is $855, but right now you can get these products for just $79.
Self-kindness is a powerful force in our daily lives, so we’re paying it forward with this sale. 10% of each purchase goes to the fabulous charity To Write Love on Her Arms, which offers hope and support to people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide.
The bundle is only available until 11.59pm PDT this Thursday (5th May). Find out more about the products in the bundle here, or click the button below to get your copy:
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April 25, 2016
20 Uplifting Quotes on Self-Compassion for a Rainy Day
Rainy days don’t just happen on the outside. If you need a quick pick-me-up this week, here are 20 quotes on self-compassion that will inspire a deeper sense of self-acceptance and peace:
1. “Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with myself.” —Nathaniel Branden, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
2. “To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.”
―E.E. Cummings
3. “Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.”
—Christopher Germer, The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion
4. “If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.”
—Henry Thoreau, Walden
5. “You’ve been criticising yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”
—Louise L. Hay, You Can Heal Your Life
6. “The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”
—Carl Jung
7. “Our task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
―Rumi
8. “Being human is not about being any one particular way; it is about being as life creates you—with your own particular strengths and weaknesses, gifts and challenges, quirks and oddities.”
―Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind
9. “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
―Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
10. “Feeling compassion for ourselves in no way releases us from responsibility for our actions. Rather, it releases us from the self-hatred that prevents us from responding to our life with clarity and balance.”
—Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance
11. “When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs, and habits – anything that kept me small. Now I see it as self-loving.”
―Kim McMillen, When I Loved Myself Enough
12. “Compassion isn’t some kind of self-improvement project or ideal that we’re trying to live up to. Having compassion starts and ends with having compassion for all those unwanted parts of ourselves, all those imperfections that we don’t even want to look at.”
—Pema Chodron
13. “An important aspect of self-compassion is to be able to empathically hold both parts of ourselves–the self that regrets a past action and the self that took the action in the first place.”
—Marshall Rosenberg, Non-Violent Communication
14. “There’s no amount of self improvement that can make up for a lack of self acceptance.”
—Robert Holden
15. “People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”
—Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
16. “Most unhappy people need to learn just one lesson: how to see themselves through the lens of genuine compassion and treat themselves accordingly.” —Martha Beck
17. “You can have compassion for yourself-which is not self-pity. You’re simply recognizing that ‘this is tough, this hurts,’ and bringing the same warmhearted wish for suffering to lessen or end that you would bring to any dear friend grappling with the same pain, upset, or challenges as you.”
—Rick Hanson, Just One Thing
18. “Self-care is not selfish or self-indulgent. We cannot nurture others from a dry well. We need to take care of our own needs first, so that we can give from our surplus, our abundance. When we nurture others from a place of fullness, we feel renewed instead of taken advantage of.”
—Jennifer Louden, The Woman’s Comfort Book
19. “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
—Steve Furtick
20. “When you say ‘Yes’ to others make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself.” —Paulo Cohelo
Having a rainy day? Brighten it up with these 20 quotes on self-compassion.
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What are your favourite quotes on self-compassion? Leave a comment and share your thoughts!
Further reading: Why I don’t talk about self-love & how to stay optimistic when bad things happen
Image: Matthew Wiebe via Unsplash
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April 21, 2016
93: 5 Powerful Questions for Clarity, Confidence & Self-Connection
We tend to place more value on having the right answers than asking the right questions, but really it’s the other way around. The quality of our life is defined by the quality of the questions we ask ourselves so it’s important to make sure our questions are helping, not hindering, us.
In this episode, I’m sharing 5 powerful questions for clarity, confidence and self-connection. These questions are some of my favourites, both for personal exploration and in coaching sessions.
Episode: 5 powerful questions for clarity, confidence and self-connection
These questions are:
What’s missing from your life, and how are you keeping it out?
If I live every day in the same way I did today, what kind of future would that create?
What do you need to believe about yourself and the world to make your biggest goal/dream a reality?
What if everything that’s happened in your life up to this point was perfect preparation for what’s coming next?
What appearances are you willing to shed to pursue your dream?
5 powerful questions for clarity, confidence & self-connection #journaling
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Useful Links
Michael Neill
The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo
The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
Say Hello
Hannah
Twitter: @hannahbraime
Facebook: facebook.com/becomingwhoyouare
Website: becomingwhoyouare.net
Subscribe to the Podcast
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Intro and outro: Stephanie Murphy
Image: Ananda Escudera Gomes via Unsplash
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April 18, 2016
Let’s All Stop Apologising for These Things…
How often do you say “Sorry?” when you haven’t done anything wrong? I know I’m tempted to do it all too often (This lovely cartoon inspired me to start watching my language and got me thinking of some of the times we say “sorry” out of context and things it’s time to stop apologising for:
Defending what’s right.
Speaking our truth.
Making our own decisions in life.
Having our own opinions.
Speaking up (even when, especially when no one else does).
Having all the feels.
Expressing those feels.
Disagreeing with someone.
Asking a question.
Saying the hard thing that needs to be said.
Taking up space in the world.
Being happy and sharing our joy with others.
Being visible. Really visible.
Having boundaries.
Communicating boundaries.
Challenging ignorance.
Living with integrity.
Our values.
Being “sensitive.”
Not smiling when we don’t want to.
Having a bad day.
Needing support.
Not being able to do everything ourselves.
Desiring alone time.
Making a request.
Being the full-fat, concentrated, 100% everything version of ourselves.
Other people’s feelings in response to any of the above.
Never apologise for having feelings, it means you’re human.
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What would you add to this list? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.
Further reading: The art of the meaningful apology & 4 things to do for a happier, brighter year
Want more? Join the Becoming Who You Are community for free access to our library of DIY personal development tools. Inside, you’ll find tools and resources on authenticity, goal-setting, self-kindness, journaling, creating meaning and purpose, and more.
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April 11, 2016
10 Lessons from The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo
For the last year, it feels like I’ve seen and heard about this book everywhere. In book stores, online, in articles, on podcasts, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up seems to have achieved near world-domination.
Initially, I wasn’t interested. Since Mr BWYA and I travel a lot, I don’t own a lot to begin with (currently slightly more than will fit in a suitcase). My approach to home-making can be described as “fairly clean-ish, likes plants.” It’s just not a topic I care that much about. But after hearing about this book for what felt like the bajillionth time, I decided to give it a go and see what it was like.
In general, I had mixed feelings about The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. On the one hand, it does contain some useful ideas about the relationship between our values and our possessions, and how something as simple as keeping a tidy environment can have a big impact on our sense of confidence and wellbeing. It also offers common-sense practical suggestions that run counter to the usual tidying/decluttering advice. I learned some things that have been genuinely useful. In particular, I liked her deeper insights into the psychology behind tidying and clutter, and noticed how many of these apply to other aspects of life too. For example, she invites readers who struggling to control their clutter to think about why they might be distracting themselves from and to consider what they might have to face in their lives if they had a clear space (and therefore mind).
At the same time, Marie Kondo is not easy to relate to, for me at least. Her theories about, for example, why we shouldn’t ball up our socks are pretty far out (because they need to rest and they can’t do that when they’re scrunched into a tense little ball. What?). She takes tidying very seriously and advocates readers strive for no less than perfection when it comes to their homes. At times, this comes across as preachy, if not slightly condescending.
With an unsympathetic view, it’s easy to see why this book has been just as scorned and lampooned as it has been praised. As the book progresses, though, the more you start to glimpse why she’s so fanatic. Frequently ignored by her family, she entertained herself by organising everyone’s rooms and belongings (usually without their permission or willing participation). From the age of five, she opted to organise her classroom instead of playing with other children. As much joy as she seems to get out of tidying now, I couldn’t help but feel a little sad for her.
Discover 10 key lessons from ‘The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo’
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For me, one of the hallmarks of a worthwhile book is I find myself thinking about it as I go about my day-to-day life afterwards. Despite my reservations, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up has been one of those books for me. It’s definitely not going to be everyone’s cup of tea but it shares some valuable suggestions about changing your relationship to mess and clutter. As with all personal development books, approach with an open mind and cherry-pick the bits that are going to work for you.
Overall, I’m glad I took the time to read it. And I will continue to ball my socks.
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April 7, 2016
#92: Turning Dreams into Adventures with Paula Schramm
In this episode, I’m talking to Paula Schramm, who has just embarked on a months-long journey along the Camino Way.
Paula has been on a long journey to find what is good and true. It took her through a PhD candidacy in science, yoga teacher training and also, through Santiago de Compostela. Along the way she found a many strategies that not only helped her recover from her own mental health issues, but to thrive in a world that is often hostile to personal growth.
At the center of all of these is fundamentally accepting the individual power to take control of one’s own life and to exert influence in the world. As a coach/superhero/guide, working from Stuttgart, she shares these strategies with individuals and companies.
Episode: Turning Dreams into Adventures with Paula Schramm
Topics we cover include:
What inspired Paula to embark on the Camino Way
How to deal with uncertainty and not knowing how big dreams and journeys will turn out
The value of visualising your journey beforehand
The importance of not only knowing why you’re doing something but building systems and routines that help us keep doing it.
…and much more!
Share the Wisdom
“It’s not enough to dream if you want a fulfilling life. You also have to take action.”
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“Look for the evidence of all the times asking for what you want has been successful.”
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“Ask yourself ‘Who will I be after I’ve done this?'”
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“Not having to question every part of my day means it’s easier to make important decisions.”
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Useful Links
Beyond the Field of Stars – Paula’s Zine. Issue one takes its theme from life: it is a great adventure. Contributors range from Chris Guillebeau, bestselling author and worldwide adventurer to mindfulness coach Kim Nicol; they tell us why deep commitment and sacred curiosity is essential to living a meaningful life.
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Paula
Twitter: @MzPaulaS
Facebook: facebook.com/beyondthefieldofstars
Website: paula-schramm.com
Hannah
Twitter: @hannahbraime
Facebook: facebook.com/becomingwhoyouare
Website: becomingwhoyouare.net
Subscribe to the Podcast
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Intro and outro: Stephanie Murphy
Image: Death to the Stock Photo
April 5, 2016
7 Must-Read Books That Will Help You Better Your Relationships
Despite what Disney might have led us to believe, it takes work to better our relationships. Anyone who says otherwise is either lying (at least to themselves) or divorced from reality (pun intended). Whether we’re talking partners, friends, family, colleagues, flatmates, or another context altogether, relationships are a skill.
The good news is this means we can get better at them. The bad news is it can be haaaard, you guys. But it’s totally 100% worth it. After all, relationships are the lifeblood of our existence and they teach us more about ourselves than we could ever hope to learn on our own.
Being married all of 18 months, I don’t consider myself anything close to an expert in this field but luckily for me (and my relationship), plenty of wise and knowledgeable people have written useful books that attempt to answer the perennial question of “how to relationship.”
Here are a few of my favourites:
7 must-read books that will better your relationships
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
The 5 Love Languages has a simple but powerful concept: each one of us has one of five possible dominant “love languages” and most issues in our long-term romantic relationships are caused by mismatched languages. The good news is we can easily figure out what our love language is, along with that of our partner’s, and learn to speak each others lingo.
In my (totally amateur) opinion, I don’t share the author’s conviction that just speaking the same language is enough for a relationship to thrive, but this book is an interesting read and offers a useful and practical insight into simple improvements we can all make.
Best for: Ironing out those “What is this really about?!” conversations where you just seem to keep missing each other, learning simple but effective ways to do nice things for each other.
Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin by Anne Katherine
This book (along with Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day by the same author), is a great primer in what healthy boundaries are all about. Anne Katherine explains the different kinds of boundaries we encounter in all kinds of relationships. As well as giving a clear breakdown of what boundaries look like in practical terms, she also gives examples of how to communicate boundaries in different circumstances (including with people who are totally oblivious to social cues).
Best for: A crash course in boundaries 101, how to say “no” in a firm but respectful way, permission to have standards when it comes to relationships.
Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships by Eric Berne
This classic psychology book is an eye-opener, both regarding why certain kinds of interactions are so frustrating, and also to our own unconscious-but-less-than-constructive behaviour.
Before I read this book, I found the “Yes, but…” game incredibly annoying when it came from other people (you’ll know what I mean when you read about it), but upon reading I realised it’s something I totally do myself at times too! Shadow side much?
As well as describing the most common “games” and giving practical examples of what these look like, Eric Berne (the grandfather of transactional analysis) also shares how to disengage from each game and get the interaction back onto a more equal footing.
Best for: Minimising drama, learning more about your own communication, getting clarity on odd relationship dynamics.
Getting Real: 10 Truth Skills You Need to Live an Authentic Life by Susan Campbell
This is another practical no-fluff book about how to be more authentic in relationships. Susan Campbell explores why we struggle with this and sets out 10 skills we can all cultivate to enjoy more real and fulfilling interactions with others.
You can check out our Psychology Book Club conversation about this book here and my interview with Susan about her latest book, Five-Minute Relationship Repair, for the Becoming Who You Are podcast here.
Best for: Showing up more fully as yourself, learning to resolve conflict in a constructive and growth-inspiring way.
Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix
This book goes deep into the origins of common relationship issues and sheds light on how you can heal and resolve them. It’s not an easy read per se, as a lot of the concepts challenge traditional ideas about relationships and can deal with painful topics. It is, however, a valuable tool for any couple who wants to communicate better and show up with more empathy and understanding.
The book is marriage-focused but the concepts apply to any partnership. As well as plenty of theory, there are also 16 useful exercises you can do with your partner
Best for: Learning how to revitalise relationships once the initial “buzz” has worn off, improving communication and emotional intimacy.
Want to better your relationships? Here are 7 must-read books that will help you do just that.
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Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg
This book seems to be a bit like Marmite: people either love it or hate it. In my experience, a lot of the hate comes from listening to people proselytising “NVC-speak” (and doing a hack job at it), at which point it just sounds contrived and a tad pretentious.
Regardless, I love this book (even though it’s endorsed by Deepak Chopra). Not only has it helped me in my relationships with others but it’s been invaluable in the context of my relationship with myself too. As someone who never even consciously considered having needs until well into adulthood, the concepts inside have been a gateway to a deeper understanding about myself and helped me become a more empathic and understanding towards other people too.
Just remember to use the language sparingly, and don’t hide behind it to avoid saying what you really mean :)
Best for: Getting in touch with your feelings and needs (dude), learning how to tentatively “read between the lines” when it comes to what other people are saying, becoming a black belt empathy ninja.
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead by Brené Brown
Daring Greatly isn’t a relationship book per se, but it is a wonderfully inspiring read about vulnerability—a key ingredient when it comes to any relationship. If you’ve been around the personal development world all of five minutes, you’ve probably heard of Brené’s work, if not her infamous TED talk, so this book probably doesn’t need much introduction.
Suffice to say: read it. It’s a moving, heart-warming battle cry to show up with more courage in our relationships.
Best for: Those times when you need to get back in the relationship arena, a gentle nudge towards showing up with more vulnerability and authenticity in your relationships.
What are your favourite books on relationships? Leave a comment and share your recommendations!
Further reading: The best books on personal development and creativity & the powerful 3-word phrase that makes me a better person
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March 28, 2016
52 Easy & Inspiring Ideas for Artist Dates (+ Free Planner!)
In the last post, I shared the powerful magic and science of artist dates (if you’re not familiar with the concept of artist dates, I recommend giving that post a quick read before continuing here). As an additional note, it feels important to clarify that artist dates are not just for artists. They for every single person who wants to honour and nourish their creativity.
In this post, I have 52 ideas for artist dates to help you get started with your own practice, plus a few ideas about how to create your own store of inspiration so you’ll never be stuck for artist date ideas in the future. At the bottom of this post, you’ll find a free planner you can use to plan, schedule, and rate your artist date experiences so you know which ones you might want to revisit in the future.
Looking for artist date inspiration? Here are 52 easy & inspiring ideas (+ a free planner!)
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52 ideas for artist dates
If you’re brand new to the concept of artist dates, one of the biggest challenges is knowing where to start. This can be especially tricky if, like most of us, you were taught that play is for children and adults have responsibilities and serious things to do instead. If you’d like a little helping hand, here are 52 ideas for artist dates to get you started. Feel free to pick and choose the ideas that work for you.
Making and Creating
1. Create a vision board (Pinterest is useful for this!)
2. Organise your wardrobe. Bag anything you no longer wear. Arrange your clothes by category, colour, or however else you want.
3. Turn one area of your home into a creative corner. What could you do there? What can you add to make the space inspiring and inviting?
4. Enjoy an adult colouring session. I got this book for Christmas and it’s great.
5. Create a mini herb garden in your kitchen. What do you have space to grow?
6. Try your hand at a new kind of art. Look up a few tutorials on YouTube or book a local class. What calls to you?
7. Visit an art, bead or craft shop and browse, letting your imagination run away with you.
8. Make your own self-care kit.
9. Make your own journal or notebook.
10. Collage! Get some old magazines (if you don’t have any, charity and second-hand shops sometimes sell them in bulk) and cut out any images and words that resonate with you.
11. Spend an afternoon making part of your home as beautiful as possible. Choose an area that could use some TLC and go to town.
12. Make a meal with courses from different countries.
13. Set yourself a creative budget of £10. Visit your local craft shop and see what you can create within this constraint.
14. Spend a couple of hours taking self-portraits. Play around with light, colour, background, expression and image filters.
15. Try your hand at writing poetry. Stuck for where to start? Try creating a few haikus.
16. Buy a couple of plants for your home (make sure they are suitable for the environment and will survive!). Research how to care for them.
17. Make your own Christmas decorations. Instead of buying new decorations this year, make a pledge to DIY.
18. Create an upbeat playlist and hold your own solo dance party. Spotify is useful for this.
19. Try baking something ambitious. Stretch your cooking skills to their limit!
20. Spend an afternoon window shopping. Stop at stores you usually walk straight past and take the time to browse and notice what they’re offering.
Trips and adventures
21. Visit a local museum.
22. Visit a historical building and imagine what it must have been like to live and work there back in the day.
23. Visit a local (or not so local) park and sit for a while, people watching, reading and enjoying nature.
24. Walk through a new neighbourhood and take in the ambience.
25. Visit a local flea market.
26. Spend an afternoon in the countryside (if you’re a city dweller), or your nearest town (if you’re a country dweller). Change your scene for half a day.
27. Visit a local farmer’s market. Take in the sights, sounds and scents.
28. Research self-guided walks around a local area. Do one.
29. Take your camera for a wander, especially if you don’t consider yourself to be much of a photographer. Look out for interesting views, angles and subjects.
30. Spend a couple of hours at your local coffee shop. Use snippets of conversation you hear to create doodles or short stories.
31. Take a trip down memory lane. Return to one of your favourite places from childhood.
32. Find a couple of unusual “hidden” local attractions (for example Postman’s Park in London) and visit one.
33. Look up top-rated attractions on TripAdvisor in your local area. Pick one or two to visit today.
34. Copy random pages of a novel, or take yesterday’s newspaper, and create blackout poems.
Reflective activities
35. Write a gratitude letter to someone who has had an impact on your life. You don’t have to send it (but you can if you want).
36. Spend an afternoon looking at beautiful homes on Pinterest. What is beautiful about them to you? How can you recreate some of that beauty in your own space?
37. Create a written vision of your dream life at your next -0 age (I.e. 30, 40, 50, 60, etc.).
38. Visit your nearest shoreline and spend a couple of hours watching the waves, noticing what thoughts dance through your mind.
39. Make a “love list” of activities you’d like to try in the future.
Expanding horizons
40. Watch a foreign movie. Pick a country whose films you’ve never seen before.
41. Go to your local library and pick out 3 books on a topic that sounds interesting.
42. Go shopping and try on 3 items of clothing that you would never, ever wear. What do you notice? How do you feel wearing them?
43. Go to a second-hand book store. Choose a book that catches your eye and spend a couple of hours reading it.
44. Look up lists of classic books and movies. Choose one you haven’t seen before and start watching or reading it.
45. Revisit a toy or tool you loved to play with when you were a kid (e.g. play dough, silly putty, lego). Get some and spend an afternoon indulging in this childhood pleasure.
46. Go for a walk in a nature spot (think beach, countryside) and pick up two or three nature souvenirs for your home space. My favourite? Quartz pebbles from the beach. Remember not to take anything that’s protected or could have an effect on the local ecosystem.
47. Create your own learning curriculum for the next couple of months using resources like Coursera, iTunesU, Open2Study and similar. Choose courses that pique your interest.
48. Take a trip down the Wikipedia rabbit hole. Look up something that interests you and see where your curiosity (and all those web links) lead!
49. Focus on learning (or relearning) a new physical movement, such as a headstand, handstand, cartwheel.
50. Try a new language. Duolingo and Memrise are helpful tools to start.
51. Start a new (and big) jigsaw puzzle. Notice how it feels to watch the pieces come together.
52. Write down 10 new things you’d like to have experienced before your next birthday. Plan to do the first thing now.
Want a done-for-you artist date planner? Head on down to the bottom of this post to grab your copy.
Creating an Idea Bucket for Artist Dates
Good ideas rarely arrive at opportune times. Even when they do, we need to have a system in place to capture them otherwise all we’re left with later is a vague sense of “I know there was something I wanted to remember…”
For quick inspiration, I recommend having one place you store all your ideas and making that place as easy to access as possible (I usually have my phone and/or computer with me, so having a single way to collect ideas that syncs between both these places keeps me covered). I use a tool called Omnifocus to manage to-dos and projects. It’s pretty complicated, but I keep most ideas about anything and everything related to work and life there so the artist date inspiration goes in with the rest. If you don’t use to-do or organisation software, you can use something free like Evernote, or carry around a few index cards if you’d rather stay offline.
The more artist dates you do, the more open to artist date ideas you will become. The more you honour your creativity, the more you’ll notice what you’re drawn to and curious to try. So create a place now to keep those ideas for inspiration later.
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March 25, 2016
The Powerful Magic (& Science) of Artist Dates
Last week, I was talking with a creative coaching client about the importance of artist dates. If you’re not familiar with the concept, artist dates are a weekly commitment to take yourself out and do something that interests and intrigues you. They are a window for inspiration, rejuvenation and remembering how to play—something most of us forget to do as adults.
An artist date might involve taking a trip to a local art gallery to peruse at your leisure for a couple of hours. It might involve setting aside an afternoon to cut interesting words, phrases and images out of magazines and create a collage for the fun of it. Artist dates do not have to involve “serious” creative endeavours (in fact, it’s better if they don’t).
As Julia Cameron, creator of The Artist’s Way (and the concept of artist dates) explains: “The Artist Date is a once-weekly, festive, solo expedition to explore something that interests you. The Artist Date need not be overtly “artistic” — think mischief more than mastery…When choosing an Artist Date, it is good to ask yourself, “what sounds fun?” — and then allow yourself to try it.”
Why (and how) Artist Dates Work
Artist dates are fun and a great opportunity to explore our curiosity, but I’ve also found them to be a useful in other ways too.
Want to deepen your creativity? Try these tips for going on an artist date.
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They are great for getting clarity on sticky situations and decisions—simply because they give us a solid window of time when we’re not thinking about that particular thing. I know when I do regular artist dates, I feel far more grounded, together, clear and confident.
These dates help me get out of my head (which is where I can spend most of my time if I’m not careful), and shift from intellectualising everything to relying on my intuition (which I also call my “internal GPS”). This sounds a little esoteric, but psychologists have a name for those times when we step back from a project and problem and focus on something else unrelated for a while: the incubation period.
In this way, artist dates also deepen our creativity. One definition of creativity is that it’s making connections where previously there were none. In certain contexts, this is also called problem-solving. Research suggests when we take breaks and focus our attention on something unrelated, our creative output increases and, with it, our ability to solve complex problems.
How to Create Your Own Artist Date
Julia Cameron offers a few useful guidelines for artist dates:
1. An artist date is a solo activity (a date with yourself, not an opportunity to hang out with friends, something fun to do with the kids, or quality time with a significant other).
2. An artist date lasts for at least 2 hours. This might require advance planning. Put an invisible wall around your artist dates and treat them as you would an important meeting—with yourself.
3. An artist date is a stand-alone activity, not something to combine with running errands, popping to the supermarket, or other things on your to-do list. See above about the invisible wall.
4. An artist date is most effective when done once per week. When life gets busy, this kind of activity can be the first to slide to the bottom of the priorities pile, but that does us more harm than good. For maximum benefit, make time for one artist date each week.
Choose an activity (pick something that draws your curiosity or sparks your interest, one of those “wouldn’t-it-be-lovely-to-“ things), schedule it in, then do it.
In the next post, I’ll be sharing 52 ideas for artist dates (that’s one per week for the next year) to get you started, as well as a customisable planner you can use to schedule and rate each activity.
Do you want to reconnect with your curiosity and deepen your creative bravery? Courageously Creative is a 4-week adventure in reconnecting with your creative self in an inspiring and encouraging environment.
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The Artist's Way: A Course in Discovering and Recovering Your Creative Self
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