Jon Acuff's Blog, page 71

Coffee houses: Bars for Christians

(It’s guest post Friday! Here’s one from Drew Marshall. You can check out his blog here or follow him on Twitter. If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)

Coffee houses: Bars for Christians

As single Christians, we are told time and time again that, in order to meet our future husband/wife, we should scour the church, because that’s really the only place to find good spousal material. But finding your Boaz or Ruth can be tricky on Sunday mornings, especially since it’s a difficult transition from a sermon about Stephen’s martyrdom to “Hey, uh, can I get your number?” Singles groups can be nice, but the sheer awkwardness of such a forced environment isn’t exactly conducive to getting a date. So where else are Christians to turn? Luckily, there is a highly caffeinated haven for singles activity: the coffee house.

The coffee house is essentially a bar for Christians. While a real bar can sometimes be trashy, loud, and full of alcoholic beverages that we would dare not consume (uh-huh), the coffee house is the far more wholesome alternative. Some churches now even have coffee houses that they financially support, and while they are open to the general public, Christians flock to them like crazy. And why not? There’s always a bunch of single people there who are “doing homework,” “meeting with mentors,” or “visiting with friends.” I use quotes because, while these might be the stated reasons for visiting the coffee shop, the real reason is to get the digits from the cutie in the booth by the creamer.

As a single Christian law student, my game plan would be to wear some sort of law school t-shirt, carry around the biggest Bible I have, and make sure to sit somewhat close to the table full of girls doing their “Jesus Calling” devotionals. “Oh hey there girl with ‘Campus Crusade Winter Conference 2012’ t-shirt on, I couldn’t help but notice you reading your Bible. What’s your favorite chapter?” And just like that, you’re in.

So next time you feel as though the crop on Sunday morning is like a Star Trek convention, rest easy that there is almost certainly a local, hip, Christian coffee house where your future spouse awaits.

For more great writing from Drew, check out his blog!

Shoot Christians Say.

My friends Tripp Crosby and Tyler Stanton are hilarious. You should follow them on Twitter because you would love them.

A few months ago, they made a video introduction for my speech at Catalyst.

Without further adieu, I give you “Shoot Christians Say.”

The end.

Lately I’ve been thinking about a few simple things. Lately as the volume of things turned up, there’s a bit of a whisper that won’t leave me alone. Here’s what’s bouncing around my head:

If at the end of my life, the only thing I’ve accomplished is a comfortable life, my days have been wasted.

If at the end of my life, the only thing I’ve fought for is my own name, my days have been wasted.

If at the end of my life, the only thing I’ve cared about is my own care, my days have been wasted.

If at the end of my life, the only thing I’ve stood for is my own reputation, my days have been wasted.

If at the end of my life, the only thing I’ve traded are works for rewards, my days have been wasted.

May we not go to the grave quietly.

May we not make refuse of the gifts we’ve been given. 

May we never chase the shiny in place of the holy, the trend instead of the truth, the immediate instead of the eternal.

Arrive empty to the grave, having given all you were given, stewarded all you were tasked with.

Give the grave only bones.   

I knew this was a trick!

Dear college me,

You were right. This is a trick.

Sincerely,

Older, cooler you.

P.S. Be honest. Have you ever said this? Has anyone ever said it to you?

The one place you hope your kid doesn’t end up.

If your kid ends up in the vehicle pictured at the bottom of this post during Sunday School, one of the following things has happened:

1. They bit somebody.

2. Somebody bit them, at which point they started crying.

3. They are crying uncontrollably, hoping to slam shut your 32-minute long window of worship.

4. They have eaten their bodyweight in goldfish crackers and have a stomach ache.

5. They sass-mouthed their Sunday School teacher and said, “Oh jeez, another story about Noah? What else ya’ got?

6. Your church doesn’t tag kids like whales and can’t therefore alert you that “child #2453″ needs to be picked up ASAP.

7. Your kid whipped some other kid with a palm branch, celebrating WWE wrestling, not Palm Sunday.

8. A volunteer remembers your kids from VBS and started crying silently in the corner of the Sunday School class in the fetal position.

Bottom line: You never want your kid in the bye-bye buggy, but it happens.

Has your kid ever been kicked out of Sunday School?

The Ultimate Church Potluck Menu

(It’s guest post Friday! Here’s one from Stephen Pepper. You can check out his blog here. If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)

The Ultimate Church Potluck Menu

Something all Christians love to do is have a church potluck. It gives us a great opportunity to fellowship and do life together while sidehugging in our V-necks.

But do you ever feel though like we’re not always fulfilling our potluck potential? Is there a hole that two crock-pots of chili doesn’t seem to fill? That there’s got to be more to potluck life than just another spoonful of potato salad?

If so, here’s my guide to the Ultimate Church Potluck Menu.

Appetizers

Chips & no salsa dancing

Omelet the children come to me

For my yolk is over-easy

Calimary

Mozzarella cheesus sticks

Soar on buffalo wings like eagles

Meat

Adam’s spare ribs

Lamb-entations

Blessed be your game

Like a beef in the night

BethleHam

Abrahamburgers

Rock of saus-ages

Pork (back)sliders

Elijah’s fire-roasted steaks

Deer Lord

Fish

Almighty cod

Amazing plaice

Salmon on the mount

It is well with my sole

Trout to the Lord

Side Dishes

Simon Pita bread

Teachers of the coles-law

Sanctifries

Gnocchi and the door will be opened to you

Stephen’s stoned-baked pizza

Tobymac n’ cheese

Soy to the world

Guacamole spirit

I will give you the quiche of the kingdom of heaven

Vegetables

Lettuce pray

Caesar Augustus salad

Peas on Earth

There’s no mushroom at the inn

Jonah and the kale

The gourd is my shepherd

Rahabenero peppers

Brussels sprouting Thomas

Shallot’s wife

Corn again

Desserts

How great’s thou tart

Pumpkin Pilate

Take this cupcake from me

Jars Of Creme Brulee

Ap-Paul pie

Leviticustard

Fruit

Passionfruit of the Christ

The Lord’s Pear

Fruit salad of the spirit

Walk on watermelon

Mango and make disciples of all nations

Beverages

TriniTea

Philemonade

Christal Light

Love your chardonneighbor

Items that didn’t quite make the (crinkle) cut

Abedn-Eggo’s waffles

Milky Way, the truth and the life

Land of milk and honey nut Cheerios

John The Baptist’s platter

Question: What other items would you add to the Ultimate Church Potluck Menu?

(For more great writing from Stephen, check out his blog.)

That time you got Joe Jonas a date.

Recently, a college senior asked Joe Jonas, of Jonas Brothers fame, to a dance.

She made a video describing why he should go with her. Joe Jonas loved the video and made his own. He then said yes to her on The Today Show.

At minute 2 of her original video, she points out that she knows he has a girlfriend. She promises that they can leave enough room for the Holy Spirit. She doesn’t say those words, instead she shows the picture of how to properly dance from the Stuff Christians Like book.

So I guess what I am trying to say is, Joe Jonas, I’m teaching the youth of this country how to dance.

You’re welcome.

 

A Letter From Dave Ramsey

(A few days ago my friend Dave Ramsey asked if he could stop by and share a few words with you guys. I thought that was a great idea. So without further ado… Mr. Dave Ramsey.)

WOW! That just about sums up how I feel about the incredible success we’ve had with the release of Jon Acuff’s latest book, Start. This thing debuted on the New York Times and Wall Street Journal best-seller lists and Amazon’s overall Top 10 list. It totally dominated Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and just about everything else on social media! This thing is on FIRE, and I can think of two reasons for that.

First of all, Start delivers a message that the world is hungry for. I talk to people on the radio every day who are frustrated and miserable with their careers, and they honestly think it’ll never get better. They’ve settled for average, but they dream of awesome. This is the book that can take them there.

Second—and this is the really important part—the reason Start came out of the gate so strong is because of YOU! You guys bought into the message, and you told a LOT of other people about it! Maybe you saw some things on Jon’s blog or Twitter feed, or maybe you heard us talking about it on the radio, and something just clicked. Something inside of you woke up, and you decided to START! By the time we dropped the book into the marketplace, tens of thousands of you had already pre-ordered or you lined up to buy it the day it released! That’s incredible! We’re already hearing stories from some of you about how you’re flipping the switch from average to awesome in your own lives by putting this material into practice. You guys rock! Thank you for making Start such a big success!

Of course, we’ve been doing our part to get this life-changing message out there too! Jon was locked in his office for months getting the message just right. Literally dozens of people on our team have spent the better part of a year getting the edits, design and marketing ready for Start to hit the street. We even took over Times Square with enormous billboards and a huge wrapped bus for our live launch event! And then we kept Jon on that bus for two weeks on a massive book tour to keep the momentum going.

This book release has been a pretty wild ride, and that means there are ups—and downs. The down side right now is that some of you haven’t been able to get your copy of Start yet because several stores sold out so fast. That was never the plan! We had pretty big expectations for the book, but the response has been mind-blowing. If you haven’t been able to get your copy yet, we’re sorry! Our team is working like crazy to make sure your local stores and Amazon have Start back in stock as soon as possible. And if you want it before they get it, we’ve got plenty of copies on hand in our online store at daveramsey.com. There’s little chance WE’LL run out!

Thanks again for everything you’re doing to help us get the message out there. I really believe that Start is one of the most significant books you could ever read, and I can’t wait to hear your own Start story soon!

—Dave

It could have been a hairy-nosed wombat

In Matthew 6:26, Jesus tells us to look at the birds of the air. He intones that “they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”

It’s a powerful passage about worry and the future. I’ve written about it before and will write about it again, but something new recently struck me.

Have you ever thought about how common birds are?

We have some in our backyard, and they sing all day and most of the night. They are in the bushes and the trees and the grass and the everywhere.

You probably have birds near your house, too. You can find them on every continent. In fact, scientists estimate there are 200 to 400 billion birds on the planet.

Have you ever thought about the kindness of Jesus, using birds as his example?

He could have picked the clouded snow leopard. There are less than 10,000 of them.

Or the Javan Rhino. There are only 60 or so of those.

Or the hairy-nosed wombat. There are only about 120 of those.

He could have picked any rare animal in the world, but he didn’t. Instead, he picks one that blankets the planet. One you’d find in Antarctica or hundreds of miles out to sea. One you’ll see in the city or the suburbs, the desert or the jungle.

He picked one that’s everywhere.

Why?

Because that’s where God’s love for you is too.

Look at the birds.

Breakdancing.

Turns out someone took a photo of me breakdancing last summer at camp. Whatevs.