Debbie Russell's Blog, page 3

Three Things I'm Grateful For

I need to begin by acknowledging the possibility that preaching gratitude forces a sort of toxic positivity on people who aren’t ready to receive it. I heard this on a Brené Brown podcast some years ago.

But… this week is Thanksgiving here in the U.S., so here I am with a platter of gratitude for your consumption. If you follow me on Instagram, you know that I post a reel every morning while the dogs and I engage in the first of our daily walkabouts. I call it my “morning musing,” and I riff on whatever I happen to be thinking about as I start my day. Over a year ago, I started to include “gratitude Wednesday” as a way to share my practice of gratitude with others. It landed on a Wednesday, because on one particular Wednesday in 2023, I went through a surgery that I’d been afraid of, and successfully came out the other side.

On one not-long-ago Wednesday, I could barely muster the energy to get out the door to record a reel, much less find anything to be grateful for. After pondering a bit, I found gratitude for having learned about stoicism. I’ve written previously about the concept of “Amor Fati”—the love of fate, and on that particular Wednesday, I dug in deep to try to express it in a way that felt authentic.

Not easy by any means.

But… by the end of the day, I felt much better. Not in a Pollyanna sort of way, but in an ability to sit with profound discomfort and be okay with current circumstances. Now, what works for me, may not work for you, so I encourage you to think about what would work as self care for you, and then jump on it!

It can be as easy as buying yourself a little treat…

Now… looking ahead to Thanksgiving… I thought I’d share three things I’m grateful for at the moment.

1. Vulnerability

I know this one sounds weird, but hear me out. By writing my book and sharing it far and wide, I basically ripped myself wide open for the world to see. Readers called me brave, but in the end, the catharsis it provided for me personally was well worth the pain I endured while putting the words down on paper.

But that wasn’t the end of the road, not by a long shot.

Me being vulnerable in a very public way encouraged numerous others to do the same, by sharing their own stories with me—both privately and in front of others during book club meetings and during my presentations.

Which brings me to the second thing I’m grateful for:

2. Community

Last month, the dogs and I road-tripped to Wisconsin to celebrate some sixtieth birthdays. Hard to believe we’re all in that zone! The weather was perfect. The highlight was a couple of wonderful visits with people I didn’t know all that well. One was with a woman I’d gone to high school with forty years ago! While at the time we were friendly, I wouldn’t say we were good friends. After high school, we went our separate ways, until reconnecting via Facebook. She was a very early and kind supporter of my book, so I wanted to spend some time catching up with her. It was a remarkable visit, one I hope to write about soon.

The other visit was with someone I really didn’t know at all. She’s married to a college friend of mine. We planned for the three of us to get together, but at the last minute, my friend couldn’t make it. While I’d have loved to have seen him, I was delighted to have such an extraordinary conversation with her. She demonstrates a courage and wisdom to which I was fortunate to be exposed. As we parted ways, she commented: “I took a chance coming here and I’m so glad I did.”

I couldn’t have agreed more.

3. Opportunity

Have you heard the quote “if you don’t ask, the answer is always no?”

I’ve been asking about presenting Crossing Fifty-One at libraries, and just recently, I’ve received two YES responses! One is close to home at the Big Lake Library on Monday, February 10th and the other is through the Fort Worth Historical Society/Library on October 11th! I’m super excited to share my book with more readers.

Another great opportunity has been the continued publication of my essays in the Minnesota Star Tribune. I’m calling myself a “regular contributor,” which has a nice ring to it! Here’s my latest about my work in community engagement with the City of Minneapolis.

What are you grateful for? Share it in the comments!

See you next month!

~ Debbie

Three great things I found this month:

Skip this if you don’t want any more post-election analysis. But perception was a key element, and understanding that can help all of us move forward.

Oliver Burkman writes a great newsletter called The Imperfectionist and here’s a post I found that presented a great way to move forward when you have tons to do and don’t know where to start,

Normally I wouldn’t share a video, but this one warmed my heart as a perfect example of the joy that follows overcoming fear.

Writing/Book Updates:

I’m very excited to share that I’ve hired a narrator to produce an audiobook version of Crossing Fifty-One! I was motivated by those of you who told me you mostly, or even exclusively consume audiobooks. Cassandra Parker, my narrator/producer, is amazing and I can’t wait for the launch, which is tentatively scheduled for sometime in January.

If you’re interested in being part of my launch team, reply to this email! I’ll have a few promo codes to share with team members.

Also, if you haven’t had a chance to rate or review Crossing Fifty-One, you can do so right HERE. Every rating or review helps boost the book in the vast world of Amazon, which is where I get most of my sales.

NOVEMBER PODCAST RECOMMENDATION:

Just in time for the holidays! Understanding loved ones who may be suffering from personality disorders or other mental health issues can make family gatherings much more tolerable:

NOVEMBER BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS:

Fiction: The Family Fang by Kevin Wilson

“You think we damaged you? So what! That’s what parents do.” 

Yikes! But that’s sort of the point of this book, which takes turns being hilarious and heartbreaking. Just the sort of warmup you need for the holidays!

Nonfiction: The Gratitude Diaries by Janice Kaplan

Did you know that studies show that the person expressing gratitude toward another benefits even more than the recipient? The author does a good job of describing her year-long experiment with being more grateful and the surprising results.

An Epic Suspension of Disbelief

The meeting with my new financial planner had been scheduled for Friday, without regard for what was to have transpired on the previous Tuesday. I’d entered a note on my phone with some mundane questions about my accounts and whether or not I could afford to hire a quality narrator for the audiobook version of Crossing Fifty-One.

The Wednesday morning following that particular Tuesday, I fought off the head-throbbing and stomach-churning, and added to the note:

“Elon Musk.”

You see, I have an almost irrational fear of Elon Musk. I say almost because, although the things he’s done over the past few years are freaking me out, I’m also painfully aware of how people end up in QAnon chatrooms and are lost forever. So my current goal is to not lose my ability to think critically. To that end, I asked my conservative friends to help talk me off the ledge of what I believe is going to happen in a Trump 2.0 regime. Rather than turn away from them, I wanted to understand them and their thought process as they proceeded to vote us all right into hell. The first response I got was to just breathe and maybe try to not be so attacking.

His perception, not mine.

But I digress…

In 1817, the English poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge coined the phrase “suspension of disbelief” in his work Biographia Literaria, where (according to Wikipedia) “he suggested that if an author could infuse a ‘human interest and semblance of truth’ into a story with implausible elements, the reader would willingly suspend judgement concerning the implausibility of the narrative.”

As someone who exclusively writes nonfiction, I recognize how my perception of things can be quite different from that of someone else in the exact same situation. As a trial lawyer, I often had to explain to jurors how two witnesses to the same event testified inconsistently. It never occurred to me then, nor does it now, to ask anyone to suspend disbelief.

You’re probably wondering… what does any of this have to do with the meeting with my new financial planner? In a nutshell: as I prepped for the meeting, I didn’t have talking to him about trans kids on my bingo card.

I need to say this: I’m not always super intuitive when I interact with people I’ve just met. Lately, though, it’s become easier, because we’re all dropping a bread crumb or two in conversation that can signal whether we can keep talking about certain things, or whether it’s better to simply focus on the weather. What’s been more challenging for me since Trump first came down his gold escalator and called all Mexicans rapists, is how to think about the people I genuinely care for and respect, whose perception of the world is very different from mine.

What is it the Christians like to say: “love the sinner, hate the sin?”

But I digress…again.

On that post-election Friday, when I sat down with the new guy—I’ll call him F.P.—it didn’t take long for me to realize that we were not feeling the same way about the election results. For one thing, he’s a huge Elon Musk fan. He launched rather jubilantly into a lengthy explanation about how FINALLY, we will start reining in all this terrible government spending.

Believe me, I have no quarrel with spending within one’s means. But when I asked F.P. about articles I’d read like this one which basically demonstrated how Trump’s plans will increase the deficit in numbers we’ve never seen before (to borrow one of Trump’s own favorite phrases), he hadn’t seen it. I then asked him about a rumor (which I’m careful to identify as one) that the “little secret” Trump has with House Speaker Mike Johnson is about shutting down the government in December. As F.P. admitted he wasn’t aware of that one either, he looked at me in that same sort of patronizing way of that friend who suggested I “just breathe.”

To be fair, how many times has Congress done this to us? Threaten to shut down the government, default on our debts, etc. only to have a last minute and short lived reprieve? At some point, we just need to get used to it, right? Which is why, when confronted by all the truly terrible things Trump has promised to do on Day 1 or shortly thereafter, his supporters insist that he doesn’t mean what he says.

Which brings me to the transgender issue. Apparently, the notion of men and boys in women’s bathrooms, locker rooms and sports is top of mind for many, if not all conservatives. Trump says on Day 1 he will ask Congress to pass a law stating that the only nationally recognized genders are male and female. Don’t believe me? Read it here. F.P. identified himself as a conservative Christian, as he asserted that our schools are “encouraging” kids to be trans. He believes the trans kids are just trying to be cool.

Like being trans is a fad. Or a choice.

Deep breath here.

Somehow, I have to believe F.P. barreled through some professional boundaries in his quest to share some of those deeply held religious beliefs I’m always hearing about. Although it came as a shock, I wasn’t entirely unprepared, having just that morning read an opinion piece in the Wall Street Journal by a St. Paul author and life-long Democrat who voted for Trump as…a protest? Here’s a snippet:

Sigh.

Back to the meeting: conservative Christian F.P. went to great lengths to try to convince me of his benevolence and compassion toward trans people by suggesting that they suffered from some sort of mental illness. As the professional boundaries continued to blur, I learned he is 47 years old, which puts him on the young end of Gen X. I’m also Gen X, but twelve years older, so I reached for any common ground I could find. When he wanted to say there weren’t any trans kids when we were in school, I reminded him that it wasn’t safe to be gay or trans when we were young. I didn’t mention that as more people started coming out, the AIDS crisis hit, which allowed conservative Christians just like him to declare that the gays had brought this on themselves.

I suggested he watch the Will Farrell documentary Will and Harper. If you haven’t seen it, check it out. It dispenses­—quite handily, in my opinion—the notion that anyone chooses to be transgender.

But before this essay becomes a full length book, I need to try to find the point I wanted to make. And it hinges on F.P.’s suspension of disbelief:

Schools are encouraging kids to be trans.

As I cut him off, he backtracked almost immediately, as if even he knew he was telling a lie. But the cat was out of the bag, and I realized that he and I couldn’t even start from a common truth.

In Trump’s rallies toward the end of the campaign, he included a warning about the dangers of sending your little girl to school and her returning home as a boy. Or vice-versa, I don’t remember. I found it laughable, but in light of F.P.’s use of the word “encourage,” it all points to a suspension of disbelief.

So many lies just like that one became the basis of perception through the powerful rightwing echo chamber built by Elon Musk and others. You can read about that phenomenon here. The ideas swirling in those spaces are based on victimhood, misogyny, casual racism, trans-bashing and conspiracy theories about vaccines and globalism.

The truth was never going to prevail, because of the existence of an unyielding wall of perception that had been carefully built—brick by brick—since the days of AM talk radio. All the prior military and Cabinet officials warning us that Trump was a danger were not patriots, but rather, disgruntled employees. An apartment complex in Colorado was overrun by illegal immigrant gangs. The Haitians in Springfield were eating people’s pets. The Biden family was corrupt. The economy under Trump was so much better than the economy as it exists today. They’re coming for your guns!

This suspension of disbelief is how a complete lunatic like RFK Jr. acquired so much appeal, right before turning over all those voters to Trump. And now Trump will kick him to the curb. I wonder what his supporters think of this turn of events.

The fact that F.P. could blurt out—to a complete stranger no less—that schools are encouraging kids to be trans, is my Exhibit 1 in support of the suspension of disbelief. It helps him to be the victim of the “woke mob,” just like the St. Paul author and others who used their vote to protest the war in Gaza, or send a message to the intolerant party of tolerance. Whether they are all in or simply oblivious to the extraordinary human cruelty and economic disasters that are about to be unleashed, I have no way of knowing. For those closer to me, it’s easier to believe they have been duped, because I can’t bear to believe otherwise. The question I now face is: what do I do about these relationships?

Right now, I feel like I need to conclude my listening tour with the conservatives in my life and go back to just talking about the weather. Because at the end of the day, they didn’t bother to take the time and effort to consider their own suspension of disbelief; choosing instead, to cast a vote for a cruel, corrupt felon, whom ordinary Americans, (after an actual trial!) found liable for sexual assault.

And if you want to fall back on “policies” or the economy or “woke-ism” as the reason why you voted for the candidate whose only plan was Project 2025, Google oligarchies. It’s where we’re headed. JD Vance and Elon Musk are in charge. Hungary and Russia are providing the blueprints.

Now if you’ll excuse me, the dogs are pestering me for a walk and I need some fresh air.

Some Thoughts About Domestic Violence Prosecution

My first experience with domestic abuse came when I was a child. Hearing my mother scream at my father, demeaning him, while he declined to respond in any sort of significant way, well…it just broke my heart.

I next witnessed domestic abuse in my twenties, while visiting a friend whose partner, when drunk, would yell at him, hurling insult after insult. It would happen again, this time with a different friend, whose husband yelled at her and called her a moron…right in front of me.

It was a shock to my system then, and something I’ve never quite gotten over.

As a prosecutor, realizing that this kind of behavior could escalate to actual violence—with injury and death resulting—stirred in me a sort of desperate desire to hold those offenders accountable.

Easier said than done…

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Lawyer Turned Writer

Thirty years ago, I (along with three other young lawyers) was sworn in as an Assistant Hennepin County Attorney. I stuck with that job for twenty-six years, more than one hundred jury trials, and a ton of conflict and stress.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved my job and—most of the time—believed that I was doing the right thing. At the very end of my career, I represented the county in tax appeal and eminent domain cases. It didn’t take long for me to loath civil practice, and thankfully, my retirement date came along just in time…

As of the first of this month, I am no longer authorized to practice law.

I did not pay the annual renewal fee. It’s been four years since I last practiced law, and exactly zero opportunities for lawyering have presented themselves. It’s time. The weird thing about the Minnesota Bar is that there’s no way to gracefully exit the practice of law. I was given four options, and the only one that would work for my actual situation cannot occur until I’m sixty-eight years old.

It’s obvious they’d prefer I just continue to pay each year for the privilege of being in good standing, even if I checked the “INACTIVE” box, which I’ve been doing for the past four years. I’ll say it a different way: it’s been costing me exactly the same amount of money to be an inactive lawyer as it would if I were practicing law.

I could have “resigned,” but apparently, “resigning from the Minnesota bar is a major professional decision and is not an effective strategy for avoiding registration fees.” (They added the bolding for emphasis!)

Ultimately, in Minnesota, there’s no winning strategy for walking away from the practice of law, so I’ve taken the one that required the least amount of work. Of course a week later, I received a notice in the mail that a $75 late fee was now tacked onto my bill. Good grief. Some may consider the annual fee insignificant. I do not.

Instead, I used part of my lawyer registration fee to pay for a membership in the Author’s Guild. It’s like being in a union for authors! I wasn’t even eligible to join until I’d published a book. The timing has worked out. On the same day I got my late fee notice from the Minnesota Bar, I received a welcome email from the Author’s Guild. 😊

One of the first things I learned when I began my author journey in early 2021, was that I needed to “brand” myself. I came up with Lawyer Turned Writer, and I think it’s a good one!

BOOK NEWS:

I’m having a blast working on my next book, tentatively titled “Consciousness of Guilt.” I’ve reconnected with the lead investigator on the case, and we’ve surprised each other with tidbits one of us knew or remember, that the other did not. I think this story will be a fun read for all readers who enjoy true crime! I plan to share progress updates with my paid subscribers, so if you want to be among the first to get that news, upgrade your subscription today!

Upgrade to Paid

Crossing Fifty-One continues to amaze me with its appeal to readers. In a couple of weeks, I’ll be participating in a book club with members of my former office and I’m looking forward to the discussion. I’ve also gotten notes from readers letting me know they’re recommending my book for their book clubs! Thank you all so much for the support!

Ratings and reviews continue to be the most important tool for getting the word out. If you have a minute, you can leave a rating at Amazon right here:

Leave a Review Here

In other news, the Minnesota Star Tribune recently published another piece I wrote. In this one, I reacted to a report on a murder case from 2009 that had been prosecuted by my former office.

You can read the whole thing here:

A former colleague contacted me, expressing outrage. The comments were decidedly mixed. Fellow lawyers wanted to debate. Debate is fine, but sometimes it should just be okay to agree to disagree. I’ve discovered that asking lawyers to do that can be challenging, especially if they’re enmeshed in the situation. After all, we’re conditioned to be zealous advocates! 🤨

These days, I’ve discovered that time and space has created an evolution of my opinions about the criminal justice system generally, as well as some of the work of my former office more specifically. I sometimes think if I hadn’t ended up being a lawyer, I’d have enjoyed working as an investigative reporter. I love research and digging out facts, and the new book is providing plenty of opportunities for that kind of work!

Do you ever think about doing a different sort of job? Let me know in the comments…

~ Until next month!

~ Debbie

An interesting thing I read this month:

This article in the Atlantic caught my eye. I remember being assigned to read Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy in high school. I loved reading, but struggled with Tolstoy. Now, it seems, kids are reading less and less, and that makes me sad.

October Book Recommendations:

Fiction: The River We Remember by William Kent Krueger

I read this book in July after buying it almost a year ago to support a local bookstore. Hardcovers aren’t cheap, but I wanted to reciprocate the store’s support of me as a local author, and also to support one of Minnesota’s most beloved authors.

It was my first Krueger book and it did not disappoint. I especially enjoyed the depth and complexity of the characters. It didn’t hurt that it was a murder investigation!

Nonfiction: Unnecessary Roughness by Jose Baez

In retrospect, I believe this book influenced my thinking for my opinion piece in the Star Tribune. The facts of the two cases were quite similar: 1) drive-by shootings with a bunch of unreliable witnesses, and 2) focus on a certain suspect with very little supporting evidence. The difference? A REALLY GOOD defense attorney.

Answering the Why Question

What’s the age when we start asking “why?”

All you parents out there will probably have a better answer than me, as I don’t recall how old I was when it became prominent in my communication arsenal. I’m sure members of Gen X will relate when I tell you that a common response from one or both of my parents when I’d ask “why?” was: “BECAUSE I SAID SO!”

I may be mistaken, but my sense is that modern-day child rearing experts frown on such an answer.

Why is the why question so hard to answer sometimes?

I’ve thought about this frequently in the last year as I find myself pivoting on aspects of my life I once viewed as set in stone. Here’s an example:

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Crossing Fifty-Nine

This week I turn fifty-nine. It’s an interesting milestone. First, it’s my last birthday in my fifties. Second, it’s the same age at which my physician grandfather succumbed to an asthma attack and passed away. When I was writing the end of Crossing Fifty-One (btw, Amazon has really slashed the prices), I used my grandmother’s diaries to track the last year of his life. He turned fifty-nine in April of 1959 and died the following December—just a few days after filling out an application to be one of the attending physicians at a prominent hospital in San Diego.

The unexpectedness of his passing stings… and I didn’t even know him.

I never considered fifty-nine to be that old, but when I look around and see people much younger than me losing their lives to cancer or car crashes, I realize that each day is precious and tomorrow is not guaranteed, no matter how many days I’ve already put in at this thing called life.

Admittedly, I’ve held myself back with a fair amount of fear around the inadequacies of my physical structure. Some years ago, I was informed that my lumbar spine is about fifteen years older than my chronological age. One knee is bone-on-bone. I walk like (no offense intended) an elderly man, stiffly, with a slight stoop. More recently I started freaking out about what I considered to be excessive hair loss, until I realized that it just feels excessive because my hair is so much longer than it ever was when I was still being a lawyer.

It doesn’t help that we are programmed to view youth with a sort of longing—as if everything would be great if only we were twenty-nine again.

We can approach aging in denial, or we can embrace it. There’s something to be said for weathering storms—whether physical, mental, or emotional. As long as I can get out of bed in the morning, I’m calling it a win. I’ve come to revere those in my life who are older and wiser.

Because my birthday is in September, it’s also the time I pause and take stock of the past year. Summer’s winding down, and I can see what’s worked and what’s failed in my actual gardens, as well as the metaphorical garden of my life.

After conducting my analysis, I’ve concluded that year fifty-eight will finish in the top five of my lifetime. I have no regrets, and can honestly say I’ve made the best of every situation and opportunity that has presented itself—the good, bad, AND the ugly. I’ve also learned how to take full responsibility for the care and feeding of my soul. I’ve left nothing on the field and am so excited for the year ahead.

How do you feel about aging? Let me know in the comments!

~ See you next month!

Debbie

A HUGE THANK YOU!

I just wanted to thank all of you who upgraded your subscriptions in August! I so appreciate the support and am excited to share additional exclusive content with you throughout each month!

Two great things I read this month:

Do you finish every book you start? Here are some arguments for both sides.

What do you think about AI in the arts? Here’s an article from the New Yorker opining that it’s never going to be an adequate substitute.

PODCAST RECOMMENDATION:

I’m a huge Ryan Holiday fan, and what I like about this podcast is that he intersperses longer interview episodes with shorter snippets that are easily digested.

BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS:

Fiction: The 100 Years of Lenni and Margot by Marianne Cronin

It’s been a minute since I’ve read a book that moved me to tears. This story provides a wonderful example of how short lives can be as meaningful as long ones and how meaningful friendships make our lives so much better!

NONFICTION: The Happiness Equation by Neil Pasricha

A friend gave this to me some years ago and while I initially resisted its simplicity, it turns out, simplicity is what makes it so good. Pick what works for you, leave the rest.

Severing Ties

I recently took stock of the following unpleasant fact: over the past three years, I’ve lost three friends. To make matters worse, they weren’t casual acquaintances by any estimation. No, they were people I valued highly in my life. People who taught me things. People who were there for me.

Until they weren’t.

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Managing Envy

Let me just start by saying I’m rarely prone to envy. But like most people, it pinches me now and again, usually when I’m comparing myself/my situation/my finances/my dog training/my master bathroom to others.

What’s the saying, “comparison is the thief of joy?”

These days, I’m much better at catching myself in the act and allowing myself to process the feeling. In the old days, I’d sink deeper and deeper into some sort of negative quicksand—ultimately generating some pretty unhelpful feelings about the source of my envy.

Ugh.

Recently, I’ve battled feelings of envy when I hear about friends’ fantastic trips, new kitchens, fun concert experiences, and success in dog competitions.

I’ve also found myself just a wee bit jealous of all the successful authors out there—with their huge followings on social media and all sorts of opportunities to make a difference. Some of them churn out a new book every couple of years and it’s an instant best seller.

What’s different for me these days, is I’m much more quick to notice the feeling.

And when I notice the feeling, I ask myself about it: why do I feel that way? For example, when I find myself envious of someone’s fabulous trip, I review the choices I’ve made that make such travel unavailable to me. I have two dogs that need care if I want to jet across the pond—or even just to San Diego—and and they are more important to me than seeing the world. I’ve spent (what there is of) my discretionary income on things that bring me joy, like my gardens and my camper. I chose to leave my high-paying job rather than work longer for a bigger pension.

I haven’t regretted that choice for one minute. The best way to empower myself and show envy the door is to simply remind myself of all the joy that choice has provided.

I also remind myself that I don’t really like big concert events anymore. In fact, my low back hates them. 🥴

When I’m envious of other authors, I stop to think about how they all started with much less than what they have currently. They’ve also worked really hard. Maybe they have connections that I don’t have, but they worked those connections to their advantage, and so can I.

I ask myself constantly how hard do I really want to work? After taking a couple months off from promotion and marketing, my envy of other authors finally motivated me to get back on that horse and push for more opportunities to get Crossing Fifty-One into the hands of readers. If I don’t, who will? Certainly not envy! 😜 I’m also invigorated by my current work in progress, which feels really good. Being an author involves playing a long game and I’ve recommitted to staying the course!

If I feel envy creep in, I also remind myself that someone once left a comment on one of my Instagram reels that said: “you lead a charmed life.” Yes, indeed I do. 😊

How do you manage envy? Let me know in the comments!

See you next month!

~ Debbie

Upcoming Events:Summer Book Fair at the Northtown Mall in Blaine

Come see me this Saturday! I’ll be selling and signing books! 😊📚

[image error] August 30th: White Bear Lake Farmers Market

I’m grateful to Lake Country Booksellers for the opportunity to sign books from 10-11:30 a.m. as part of White Bear Lake’s weekly Farmers Market! They are one of the oldest indie bookstores in Minnesota!

Two great things I read this month:

Here in Minnesota, we are in the prime of sweet corn season. Corn is my favorite vegetable, except I’ve always thought it didn’t really count as a vegetable. Then I read this article which encouraged us to eat more corn!

If you’re like me, and struggle to believe your friends really like you, this is a perfect guide on how to strengthen friendships.

August Book Recommendations:

Fiction: Wish You Were Here by Jodi Picoult

For those of us who left the Covid-19 pandemic in the rearview mirror, this book will drag you right back into the thick of it. I was impressed with the amount of research that went into the writing of the book and, to be honest, a bit envious. 😉

Nonfiction: Factfulness: Ten Reasons We're Wrong About the World--And Why Things Are Better Than You Think by Hans Rosling

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This book is data-driven, which may be a little dry for some, but data is what shapes my understanding of many things. These times seem extra stressful and scary, so why not get some data on how things really are?

My Reaction to the American Monster Episode

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One Fine Summer Morning

I awaken most summer mornings at a time I once thought unthinkable.

My first conscious thought is: eastern phoebe. Or: chipping sparrow. Either one has fully mastered the sound of an alarm clock. Loud and shrill. Occasionally, a robin beats them to it. On those mornings, I smile. It’s a gentler start to the day.

Light sneaks through the skylights at 5:30 a.m. The coffee maker starts percolating—filling the house with that wonderful fragrance that even people who don’t like the taste of coffee will admit is pretty fine.

By the time I make my way out to the back porch, more birds are announcing the arrival of a new day. An oriole lands on the bracket holding the hummingbird feeder and softly squawks at me. Then, he flies back over to the oriole feeder.

It’s empty.

Point taken.

Do you all talk to your neighbor birds? Because I do. It seems polite. This summer, with the help of an app, I’m memorizing bird songs. Many of them won’t come to the feeders where I can see them, so I have to learn their identities some other way.

This year, I’ve learned the song of the veery. The veery is a smaller, brownish bird who, from a distance, probably looks like many other smaller, brownish birds. But its song is quite distinctive. I remember last summer learning the sound of the song sparrow, and these days I notice it’s become quite rare. When I hear birds singing, I wonder what they are saying to one another.

These are the things I think about on this fine summer morning.

When I left my old job three summers and four winters ago, I plunged right back into being busy—spending the bulk of my time focused on all sorts of things quite unrelated to bird songs. When Crossing Fifty-One came out last summer, I would sit out on the porch with the birds now and then, but it was different.

I was different. Preoccupied with the launch, the marketing, the sales, the advance reviews, the party—all of it. I also stressed about the drought and its impact on my gardens and the wildlife. So much worry over so many things I had absolutely no control over.

I recently finished reading Wish You Were Here by Jodi Picoult and this brief passage hit me hard:

Busy is just a euphemism for being so focused on what you don’t have that you never notice what you do. It’s a defense mechanism. Because if you stop hustling—if you pause—you start wondering why you ever thought you wanted all those things.

It’s taken me until now to stop with the hustling.

This summer is different. I’ve taken back control of my life, starting with my mornings.

Along with my coffee, I drink in the cool crisp air. I survey my gardens—the gardens I spent the busy time designing, installing, and cultivating. Now is the time to enjoy the fruits of my labor. The continued deterioration of my body (another casualty of the busy time) tells me that later today I will weed…but only just until I become a bit uncomfortable. No more pushing through pain and sweat.

I accept that there are aspects of summer that I will always loathe—namely humidity, sweat, bug spray, sweat, sunscreen, sweat, bug bites, sweat, rodents, sweat, and especially the amalgam of sweat mixed with bug spray and sunscreen that stings my eyes.

On this fine summer morning, there is no humidity…only a light breeze and a freshness that fills my soul with joy for what lies ahead. So I will move slowly and mindfully through it. I still have things to do, namely, that next book. I much prefer wintertime for writing. So for now, I will watch the birds.

Because I can.

Thanks for reading! See you next month.

~ Debbie

Two great things I read this month:

Anne Lamott recently wrote about the joy that comes with slowing down and finding gratitude in aging.

Check out this piece in the Washington Post about the do-nothing vacation. It makes a lot of sense!

Podcast recommendation:

I haven’t recommended a podcast in awhile, and I’ve been remiss in overlooking this one! Lizbeth is a lovely human, who had me on as a guest last year, and recommended me for another podcast, which I’ll be recording in the next couple of weeks.

Personally, I love podcasts that inspire, and this is one that fits that criteria:

Book recommendations:

Fiction: The Seed Keeper by Diane Wilson

A friend recommended this book and I was so grateful for the opportunity to be transported into a part of Minnesota and Native American history that I believe is sorely overlooked. The clash between cultures and livelihoods could not be more painful, but the only way we will ever understand is to allow ourselves to face up to it.

Nonfiction: Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

I read this book last winter, and now, during our all-too-short Minnesota summer, I find myself thinking about it, as I contemplate my own relationship with nature. We all can and need to do better.