Lisa Knight's Blog, page 32

STEVE GILMORE’S MUSIC REVIEWS: GEM WATSON/WATSONICA – TALKING BACKWARDS

You can listen to this artist on Soundclick

There’s an old quote from somewhere that goes ‘all human life is there’ and in this case I refer to Soundclick’s forum life. Hang around on there long enough and you get to meet a HUGE amount of people, and some who I am not sure what form of life they are… :D Now normally I don’t really get to hear anything outside of a very, very tight reviewing schedule (oh oh poor me) but knowing Watsonica through the forums I got suckered…… errrr I mean enticed to listen to one of his tracks… No wait, I remember now. Someone said his work sounded like (gets down on his knees) Jeff Beck. As fekkin IF, sez I and I march full of my usual pomposity to prove him a lyin’ blaggard, downloaded the track and had a quick listen and decided right there and then to look at this a lot further. See, Mr Beck is like God to me. The man has such mastery of his instrument it’s ridiculous, and if I am in need of something REALLY mental to listen to, I reach for the Truth album…

Aaaahhh, Rod and Jeff in their prime…

Watsonica (or Gem Watson) is responsible for this track and I can’t seem to find him anywhere on Soundclick other than on the Sound Aid page linked above, which has A Watsonica track but not this one. More to the point, I thought I had downloaded a track called Selah, and I seem to have something called Walking Backwards instead. Whatever I was on that night must have been heavy duty. I was struck by a fairly immediate Beck reference in the tone and style of both the music and the guitar playing. Like The Man, Watsonica uses the guitar to express mood by using (among other things) the whammy bar (tremolo arm to us brits) and drenched in effects lead lines that ripple through it like nervous tics.

I know that not everybody holds the same opinion as me on most guitar players, but I know what I likes, ya know what I mean? Even if it does happen to come clothed in an almost new-age-y chill out track that I wouldn’t normally glance at if the star attraction hadn’t caught my attention. What we end up getting, of course, sure sounds like something else, but only if you let it. What I get out of this track is that here is a tasteful, refined lead guitarist who is sophisticated enough to be able to pull off the trick of having people say he resembled so and so – whether in style or performance. It seems to me that a really good guitarist is a really good guitarist no matter what he plays. The musical reference is apt, but I’m sure Watsonica has a lot more going on than a passing resemblance to a rock god.

Your mission? Track this man down and make him get a proper page!!! It’ll be worth it.

Written by Steve Gilmore

Newsstand Comics Vlog – 24/11/14

FREE DOWNLOAD: VOICES FROM A COMA – ISSUE TWO

The Zombie Blackmailers of Panocadia Three by Dave Fragments

The Train Set by Matthew Wilson

The Chalice by Paul Melhuish

Sylvia’s Pictures by DJ Tyrer

Burned Toast by Michael McGlade

Mum’s the Word by Bryn Fortey

Siphon by Kerry Lipp

Edited by Shaun AJ Hamilton

Artwork by Iestyn Rhobet

You can download this issue HERE: VOICES FROM A COMA – ISSUE #2 or on Smashwords

STEVE GILMORE’S MUSIC REVIEWS: STARTING OVER – YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND (WHAT’S ON MY MIND)

You can listen to this artist on Soundclick

Way back in the mists of time (Ed: he means 2003) I heard a track called Are You Going To Be Around (December 2003) and I’ve still got it on my hard drive while I type this, so the obvious answer is that yes, it IS going to be around. Moreover, it’s been joined by a few of its mates too which should tell you something about my feeling about this artist. More rocky country with West Coast vocals than dandruff and headbanging but it all still fits neatly into my overall ‘rock’ worldview. Matter of fact, I have a most definite taste for the kind of music Dan Epps (for it is he) pumps out on a regular basis. Having said that, it’s been a while since I heard anything from Dan or Starting Over (he is known by both names and releases under both).

Yes, dear, do keep taking those pills, the end is not in sight just yet….

Firmly rooted in the fertile ground (still) of the late 1960′s, Starting Over’s music is very, very accessible, and I’m sure there aren’t many people who would disagree with that. In that first ever review I compared him to Neil Young but that impression no longer holds true, at least not when you consider the body of his work, it has more to do with the Jeff Lynne/Travelling Wilburys good time rock and roll. You Don’t Understand (Whats on My Mind) brings with it an immediate whiff of ‘elo elo’, it being a far more rockier Starting Over performance than I have heard from him for a while. It’s pretty much your usual workout, the kind of music you would associate with the above references.

Where it does gel, however, is when you take into account Dan’s amazingly accurate vocal performance and the backing vocals of course. To my mind, Dan and Starting Over are carrying on a grand tradition in music and one I can always find a lot of time for. His vocals on this track are a meld of Beatles/Elo, which does – I admit – back up the rock track admirably, making for yet another excellent SA addition. Right now, after having lived with it for a while, I don’t think it’s as immediate as some of his other tracks but you never know, it may be sneaking up for the sucker punch as I type this… Nope. Not yet. Waiting. What a newcomer would find here would be a charming song, delivered in a timeless manner by a very competent musician who knows what he wants to hear and generally gets it.

Recommended Retro that’s bang up to date…

Written by Steve Gilmore

STEVE GILMORE’S MUSIC REVIEWS: SOUNDBOI – DUB STEP/SOUNDBOI SURRENDER

You can listen to this artist on Soundclick

This new name to me came onto the list this month and directed me to a track that wasn’t on Soundclick. Now I see nothing wrong with that because I believe it shouldn’t matter where the tracks come from. Although it does cause a problem. Where can you, the loyal but tested reader, hear this track? That’s why I have included two tracks in this review. One from the review list on another site and Soundboi Surrender which you will find on here. It’s probably a good job too because to be honest if I only had Dub Step to go by; I might well be dissing the man right here. Dub Step isn’t dub, unless you count the sub bass as being dub, which it ain’t.

The first thing that struck me about Dub Step was that it almost doesn’t register on my VU meters at all meaning it was mastered at an absurdly low rate. It means you’ll either have to crank your system or tweak the ol’ EQ to get any decent volume out of it and then be very, very careful because that sub bass I mentioned eats worlds. I guess the reason this track is mastered so low is to make headroom for that bass because when it drops in the world shakes. Once you get past this, Dub Step turns out to be a decent enough slice of hard DnB with enough technical tricks to keep even the most fanatical of techno heads satisfied, but those sub-bass moments are all consuming and for sure this WILL blow some speakers if not handle properly. The piece works though, so if you can manage to tweak it enough AND like the style; this is well worth a listen – when Soundboi puts it on SC that is.

Soundboi Surrender sounds like a much more business-like proposition from the get go. None of the fidelity problems of Dub Step and I guess that must mean Dub Step is a demo of some kind. Soundboi Surrender treads much the same ground as Dub Step and is a skillful blending of hardcore DnB with some neat Dub/ragga overtones that screams dancehall. Put it like this, if you like your music really mixed up then you are going to rave over this. I love a bit of musical jiggery pokery, and this track certainly does that from the bass sweeps and the ragga vocal snippets and the (very loud) bass runs. I do like good Drums and Bass and Soundboi definitely falls into this category whatever reservations I may have about the production style or lack of it. Fans of the genre will like it, and I guess that’s all Soundboi wants. I’d say it was well worth checking out if you like music that keeps you guessing…

Interesting DnB excursions.

Written by Steve Gilmore

FAN FICTION: EXILES #1 THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS BY ADRIAN J WATTS

She remembers dying.

It wasn’t painful, nor was it particular slow. Her life didn’t flash before her eyes, but there was an intense white light before she faded into oblivion. The moments before her death were a bit of a haze, but she remembered a big fight, and seeing utter terror on the face of the man she loved the most*.

[ * - in GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY #75 ]

The next thing she knew, she was here – a barren world, devoid of life, with the stench of brimstone permeating the air. The hard, rocky ground was scorching hot beneath her feet, forcing her to utilise her power of flight to keep from burning off the soles of her feet.

This must be Hell, she thought. Not surprising that I’d end up here – but I was always positive that Stakar would get here first…

She drifted along on the slight breeze that blew across the land, surveying everything in sight. She drifted for hours before she felt a stabbing pain in her chest and dropped, hitting the ground hard. She didn’t get back up.

Her name is Aleta Vaughn, and she remembers dying… twice.

Warworld

Twenty-five years ago, the planet that had come to be known as Warworld was the site of one of the most cataclysmic battles ever in the multiverse when dozens of Earth’s superhuman heroes and villains, spirited away by the extra-dimensional entity known as the Beyonder, were forced to do battle in order to get home.

The battle raged for several weeks, culminating the world-devourer Galactus constructing his matter transmutation device seemingly for the purpose of devouring the planet and thus putting an end to the fighting, winning safe passage home and his greatest wish – and end to his all-consuming hunger.

The heroes of the world, led by Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four, launched an assault against Galactus that resulted in the destruction of his device. The Beyonder, enthralled, arrived in person, to survey the outcome of the battle – that was Galactus’ goal all along. With Richards’ help, Galactus channeled all of his cosmic energy into a blast directed at the Beyonder. The Beyonder disappeared in a bright flash and Galactus, his energy spent, faded from existence.

With the Beyonder gone, the heroes lost their most viable way home. Reed Richards was succumbing to radiation poisoning from the battle between Galactus and the Beyonder, and the only other scientists on the planet with a hope of finding a solution to the problem were too consumed with perpetuating their war to focus on anything else.

After a further five years of fighting in which many heroes and villains needlessly died, the two warring factions agreed to set aside their differences and resolved to live out their lives on the Warworld. In the twenty years that followed, various superhuman couplings resulted in a number of children, most of which possessed startling powers of their own.

And even super-children need to go to school.

At Reed Richards Memorial High School, class was in session – not that Matthew Henry Storm had noticed.

Man, if Kendall Monroe keeps looking at me like that, he thought, looking up from the book that he was supposed to be reading, I’m liable to – oh man, she’s staring…

Across the room, the mutant girl Kendall Monroe – the daughter of Storm and Wolverine of the X-Men – stared blissfully in Matthew’s direction. She’d been doing that a lot lately, and Matthew couldn’t yet decide whether he liked it.

He turned away, peering out of a window embedded in the wall beside him. As he watched, the window began to become opaque, but before he could comment on it, he disappeared in a bright flash of blue light.

The Xavier Institute, Salem Center, Westchester

The Morlocks and X-Men assembled in the Westchester mansion that served as the X-Men’s home were shocked as they listened to Professor Xavier speak. The aliens that they feared were about to strike against Earth, and the Sentinels that had been hounding for the last few weeks were one and the same?

“This threat concerns us all,” the Professor addressed the assembled mutants. “We are facing not just any Earth built robots, but an entire, and deadly, alien race focused solely on conquest. We are facing… the Phalanx!*”

[ * - see MV1's X-Men #70-71 ]

“This new twist has thrown me off guard,” Xavier announced. “I am not – we are not – ready to take on the Phalanx. I must revise our plans. Please, all of you, retire to your quarters. I will transmit all data that we have on the Phalanx to the personal computer terminals in your rooms. I suggest you study the information carefully.” He paused for a moment, and then spoke again.

“For those of you that cannot read, the computers have speakers attached. Thank you.” Xavier nodded to the crowd and moved away from the podium as the assembled mutants retired to their rooms. He headed for the control room, followed by Joseph.

“Magnus, my friend,” Xavier said as they entered the control room, “thank you for all your help.”

“It is an honour, Professor,” Joseph replied.

“I am sending the rest of the X-Men out to ‘collect’ some more mutants. I would like you to stay here with me.”

“As you wish.”

“You see, there are three mutants that will be a great help in our battle against the Phalanx: the teleporter Gateway, Magneto’s former Acolyte Scanner, and Madison Jeffries of Alpha Flight. Gateway’s power can get us where we need to go as quickly as possible, Scanner’s ability to disrupt electro-magnetic fields and skill as a scout will serve us well when it comes to both reconnaissance and battle, and Madison Jeffries’ power to transmute metal is instrumental to my plans.

“To defeat the Phalanx, we must destroy the core. When the Phalanx last attempted an invasion, Cameron Hodge was tricked by Steven Lang into destroying the core*. When this was successful in driving the aliens away, we had Forge create a virus that, when injected into the core, immediately destroys it,” Xavier explained. “However, before being destroyed in their last encounter with us, the Phalanx sent a beam off into space. Presumably that is what summoned the current force.

[ * - see Cable #16 ]

“We are to attack en masse. Gateway will teleport us to Spain, where the Phalanx force is currently assembled, Scanner will find the core, and Madison Jeffries will transmute the core, allowing you to inject the virus, Joseph.”

“Uh, okay…” Joseph said. He was beginning to feel nauseous. It wasn’t anything the Professor was saying, it was something else. Something inside him… in his stomach…

“Please brief the other X-Men.”

“Okay, sir, but what about…. ARRRRRGH!” Joseph convulsed, clutching his stomach in great pain. As the time-travelling security enforcer Bishop ran into the control room to investigate the scream, the roof parted with a sound of bending metal. The three mutants looked up and saw floating above them none other than… Magneto!

“W-what…?” Charles stammered.

“How…?” Bishop asked.

“Do not fear me. I am here to help you,” Magneto assured them as he majestically descended to the ground.

“But if you’re Magneto, then who…” Xavier turned to where Joseph was standing, but the man was gone. In his place was a tiny baby, and for a moment, Xavier thought he saw a minute flash of blue light.

Elsewhere

Aleta got back onto her feet, nursing her right arm. She’d hit the ground hard, and while she was fairly sure nothing was broken, she felt a damp patch on the left flank of her uniform that she believed was rather bloody.

The ground no longer burned her feet. In fact, it was quite cool where she was now. Cold, even. She considered taking to the air again when she heard an unusually soothing voice emanate seemingly from nowhere.

“Wait, Ms. Vaughn. You will be joined presently.”

The soothing tone of the voice calmed her nerves and she waited, as patiently as she could, to be ‘joined’. A few moments later, six separate flashes of blue light lit up the horizon. The lights came hurtling towards her, but stopped a few feet away before resolving into the images of six people.

One was a man with long white hair and a hard face; another, a young, shy-looking girl with brown hair; an eight-foot tall green giant with biceps larger than Aleta’s head; a dashing and charismatic blonde man; a plain-looking young boy; and last of all was a pale man with a thin scar running down the right side of his face.

As Aleta looked the new arrivals up and down, she noticed the pale man’s scar vanish very quickly. It has appeared so briefly, in fact, that Aleta doubted that any of the others had seen it.

All six of them looked bewildered as they surveyed their surroundings and one-by-one turned to look at Aleta. They were waiting for an explanation, something that she did not have.

“I don’t know about everyone else,” the formerly pale man, whose skin was now the most well-tanned that Aleta had ever seen, began, “but I’m confused. Care to explain what’s going on, little Miss Blondie?”

As Aleta began to form a reply, she noticed that the green giant seemed to be getting a little restless. His leg was twitching, and he was eyeing her strangely.

“I’m as in the dark as the rest of you,” she finally replied. “The last thing I remember is – “

“I stopped listening five minutes ago, Blondie,” the man said. “Anyone else have any idea what’s going on? And what’s wrong with the Hulk? When did he develop the appropriately sloped brow and ridged forehead that all big galumphing giants should have?”

“NOT HULK!” the green giant roared. “SAVAGE!”

“What’s a Hulk?” the blonde man asked. “And who, exactly, are all of you?”

“The Hulk is just a story parents tell their kids to scare them into doing what they’re told. That’s why no-one’s ever seen him,” the young boy remarked.

“NOT HULK! SAVAGE!” the giant repeated. He was getting angry.

Oh, no, Aleta thought. This better not be what I think it is… not again…

“It is precisely what you think it is, Aleta Vaughn. Perhaps you should explain it to everybody else.”

Aleta prepared to address the group, but was interrupted by the white-haired man before she could say a word.

“The laws of physics are askew here. This planet has no magnetic field,” he said calmly. “We are far from my native Earth.”

“Magnetic field…?” the shy girl asked. “I thought you were him! You’re Magneto!”

“So I’m told.”

“You killed my mother! You slaughtered Rogue in cold blood!”

The man looked surprised. “I have never killed anyone. Especially not Rogue. In fact, I was speaking to her less than a week ago.”

“LIAR!”

The girl lunged for the white-haired man and struck a hard blow to his chin. She was going to swing her fist again when Aleta intervened with a solid light barrier between them.

“This has nothing to do with you, woman!” the girl screamed. With a touch, Aleta’s barrier disappeared, and enough feedback passed through her body to knock her to the ground.

“Ah-ha! Cat fight!” the formerly pale man exclaimed in delight. Beside him, the blonde man and a young boy were smirking. “Just like home!”

“STOP!” Aleta said, climbing to her feet. “I know what’s happened here. I don’t know why, and by the Hawk God I certainly don’t know how, but you all need to stop and listen!”

“WHY SHOULD WE LISTEN TO YOU?” the green giant roared. “SAVAGE NEVER LISTEN TO NOBODY!” He reared back, preparing to charge at Aleta. The giant’s sudden attack shocked the white-haired man and his assailant enough that their altercation ended, but Aleta discovered that she could do nothing to defend herself. Her powers were gone.

“Whoa there, big boy!” the pale man said. He brushed his hand across the giant’s forearm and with a whisper it calmed down and sat, cross-legged, before Aleta.

“Ah, thanks…” Aleta said.

“Don’t mention it. You can repay me later, if you know what I mean,” the man said with a wink.

“No, I don’t,” Aleta said. “Now listen, all of you. I’m not absolutely certain, but judging from my own sudden appearance here and the bewildered looks you all had on your faces when you arrived, none of us came here of our own volition. I’ve been trying to raise my companions using my communications badge,” she pointed to a red, white and blue star pinned to her costume, “but they are not replying, and they can detect the signal from anywhere in the known universe. We’ve been kidnapped, and if I’m right, we’ve been brought to another universe.”

“Kid-napped?!?” the pale man cried. “But my girls…!”

“You have daughters?” Aleta asked.

“No, I have sex slaves, but I love them as if they’re my daughters. No, wait… that’s just sick…” He let his voice drift off, and kept muttering to himself.

“Oh, shut up,” the blonde man said. “How do we know we can believe you, miss…?”

“Call me Aleta, and to answer your question, I don’t know. If my fiance were here, I’d just have him scan my thoughts and relay them to each of you, but he’s not here.”

“Well ah think you’re lying!” the shy girl said. “You were here before us, and we were drawn to you. Ah, think you brought us here!”

“Hey, perhaps I can help,” the pale man said. “The name’s Ph-Eros. As you saw with Hulky here, I have the power to make people do what I want with only a touch and a whisper. I can make Allie-girl there tell the truth.”

“How do we know the two of you are not working together?” the white-haired man asked.

“I can prove it,” Ph-Eros said, “by making anyone who doubts me do something.”

“Very well,” the man said. “Prove it.”

Ph-Eros walked over to where the man stood and gently touched his hand. He leaned forward and quietly whispered into the man’s ear before stepping right back.

“To dream, the impossible dream,” the man sang, “to fight, the unbeatable foe…”

“Ah, trust you,” the shy girl said. “Name’s Scamp, by the way.”

“Anybody else doubt me?” Ph-Eros asked. No-one answered affirmatively. “Good.” He stepped past the Hulk’s calm form and touched Aleta’s only exposed skin – her face. He quickly whispered something into her ear, and then stepped back. “She’s good to go.”

“I am now taking control of your body, Aleta.”

No! Aleta thought, whoever you are, you can speak through me.

“That is exactly what I plan to do, now that you have earned their trust.”

“As I said before, my name is Aleta,” Aleta began. “Like you all, I have been plucked from my universe and brought here. And now I have been told why. We, I am told, are the wisest beings in our respective time periods. We have been brought here by forces unknown to experience all that we can and, eventually, return to our homes to lead our people into new ages of enlightenment.”

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Were you bound by Ph-Eros’ power?

“…”

Well?

“Well, Aleta, while you’re still bound by my power, I have another question. Will you have wild, passionate sex with me tonight?” Ph-Eros asked.

“Not a chance.”

“Awwww….”

“Do we have a choice in this?” Joseph asked.

“None that I can see. But perhaps if we can find something that we all have in common, we may be able to find a way home. What was the last thing you all did before coming here?” Aleta asked.

“I was in class,” the young boy said, “and got sucked through a window. My name’s Firefly.”

“My name is Daywalker,” the blond man said. “I was watching television when the screen developed a silver sheen and literally drew me in.”

“I was, uh, playing with my friends,” Ph-Eros said, “when I got sucked into my own mirror.”

Aleta nodded as each person explained their situation.

“I was speaking with Professor Charles Xavier of the X-Men when I was attacked by Magneto. I then arrived here,” Joseph explained.

Was he attacked by Magneto? Scamp thought. Does that mean he isn’t the monster that killed my mom?

“Scamp? What about you?” Aleta asked.

“Me?” Scamp asked. “I’d rather not say if it’s okay with y’all…”

“I can’t really see any – ” Aleta began.

“What about the Hulk?” Ph-Eros asked. “I have ways of making him talk…”

He approached the green giant a third time and grabbed its thick shoulder. He whispered into its ear for several minutes before stepping back and watching, with everyone else as the monster’s body receded into the form of a thin old man. A naked, thin old man.

“Ewwww!” Ph-Eros cried. “Wrinkly d – “

“Ph-Eros!” Aleta snapped.

“Sorry, mom.”

“Sir?” Aleta asked. “Are you well?”

“No. I am most certainly not,” the old man said. Without so much as a glance at the other assembled beings, he levitated a few feet off the ground. “My name is Doctor Stephen Strange. I am a scientist. I am also a sorcerer. I was brought here as a result of peering into a crystal ball that I was using to divine the cure to the curse that turns me into the brutish but appropriately monikered ‘Doc Savage’.

“Even while in the form of the beast, once calmed by Ph-Eros I was using the considerable magickal talents at my disposal to find a mystical means by which to return home. They are all blocked. We are at the disposal of whomever brought us here until they deign to return us to our homes.”

He finally turned to face Ph-Eros and said, “Thank you for returning me to my true form, but I am afraid that it is a temporary measure at best. Within the next hour, I will once more revert to the form of the malevolent Doc Savage, and this time I fear even your power will prove insufficient to help me.”

“Perhaps we can all help eachother,” Firefly said. “We’re supposed to be the ‘wisest beings in our respective universes’, right? I’m sure we can find a way to help the Doc.”

“Thank you, my friend, but I know from experience that we should not take the words of the cosmic entities that cause events such as these at face value,” he said. “Even if they speak through a friendly face,” he added, staring straight at Aleta.

“What happens now?” Joseph asked.

“We are supposed to experience things, right? Well, I have dibs on experiencing Scamp!” Ph-Eros said.

“Ph-Eros, I swear to God, if you don’t shut the frak up I will let you experience my – ” Daywalker began before he and his six new compatriots all disappeared in a flash of blue light…

NEXT ISSUE: Earth: 8162!

Written by Adrian J. Watts of SoftPixels.net

STEVE GILMORE’S MUSIC REVIEWS: GOOD FRIDAY – THE FIRST CIRCLE

You can listen to this artist on Soundclick

I love Robert Zimmerman(or Bob Dylan as he is better known) and have done ever since my world was changed by Blowing In The Wind so many years ago. I loved his playing, and I especially loved his sure way with words; words that changed millions of people’s lives. Not a bad lifetime achievement by anybodies standards. The debt Good Friday owe to Bob Dylan is immediate and obvious, at least if this track is anything to go by. Best not, therefore, expect some rocking out and pin-me-to-the-wall riffs because you are likely to be disappointed. The First Circle is billed as Alternative: Indie and I don’t know what this means but I do know a classic folk style when I hear it – alternative or not.

So what does your time get you by listening to this? Well, you’d have to have as much an appreciation of Dylans work and style as I do, and know that all you are getting is a guy, a guitar and a SONG. It takes a HUGE set of stones to be able to pull this off successfully which usually depends on two things: great arrangement and lyrics and the same standard of performance. Surprisingly enough Good Friday (aka Jonah Pascal) manages to pull it off, and very well too. There a couple of things about the sound I could mention but that shouldn’t detract from what we are looking for in material of this type; a good song, delivered with conviction and authority. After all, what can you expect technically when you are talking about an essentially live recording?

The First Circle IS delivered well and the lyrics pay off and – to be honest – I’m not sure whether that is down to my liking for material like this or the fact that I sandwiched it up against The Shed in my review schedule and that track inclined me to be a bit nicer about this unashamedly retro (classic even) folk song. Whatever it is, I do like this track, and I think it will probably grow more on me because I’m going to have it on my playlist for a while. So, it IS extremely folky, and I’m sure there are loads of people who cannot abide whiny-voiced, harmonica playing acoustic guitarists but I ain’t one of them. If this is a nod to Dylans work that I have to say it’s a very respectful nod indeed, if it isn’t then I’ll be very surprised. Coming from a musician who is 18 just boggles my mind; there is is a maturity and depth of songwriting here that belies his tender age.

Recommended. (but only with the above provisos)

Written by Steve Gilmore

POETRY: YOU’LL DISAPPEAR QUICKER THAN GNAT SHIT BY PAUL TRISTRAM

I’ve learnt my hard lessons well!

I’m painfully aware of most peoples

meanness, tricks and cruel games.

You hold no power over me anymore.

The first trace of deceit or falseness

and you are gone from around me

with no forgiveness, 2nd chances or mercy.

The moment that you stop acting the Gentleman

(and that goes for you too, ladies) so do I.

Written by Paul Tristram

STEVE GILMORE’S MUSIC REVIEWS: JOHN AND LUCIE COLLINS – OPEN UP YOUR HEART

You can listen to this artist on Soundclick

Open Up Your Heart is my third encounter with John and Lucie Collins and – judging by my present state of mind – by far the best track I have heard from them so far. Their Voice In The Night (February 2006) put me in mind of the sublime Billie Holiday and was a very enjoyable listening experience whereas I Am Here (March 2006) exhibited all the signs of being a ‘show tune’ which is something I absolutely don’t enjoy although I could still appreciate the skill and quality these artists bring to their work. After all, there was nothing wrong with I Am Here, just me balking at my intense dislike of anything that reeks of modern day ‘musicals’, especially the staged variety made popular by Sir Andrew Lloyd ‘aren’t I so clever’ Webber.

No such prejudice clouded my enjoyment of Open Up Your Heart because it is a very modern sounding, infectious pop song that presses all my pleasure buttons. As the song comment says ‘listen, feel good and sing along’. There’s no doubt that this track has that elusive sing along factor and is a fine example of the skill, dexterity and sophistication this duo always bring to their music whatever the genre. As I’ve said a million times I am a sucker for a good good song and this one is a doozy of the first order, beautifully scored and arranged in a wide open, warm mix that draws you straight into the centre of the action.

I’d try a stab in the dark here and say that this is John himself on the vocals and seeing as this is the first time I have heard him emote, I’d say his wife has competition. The kind of Carribean style and tone of the track perfectly suits his chocolate flavoured vocal chords, the mix complimenting those tones and smothering them with warmth and friendliness. What won the track that final spurt was, for me, the backing vocal which at times adopted a gospel-like quality that curled up my toes and made my neck hairs stand up. It is fair to say that John and Lucie have a decidedly middle of the road approach to their music but equally fair to say that it does throw up some interesting and very worthwhile moments and this is assuredly one of them. A top notch song with all the trimmings and then some although not without a couple of niggles (backing vocal too low as it begins, a bit of odd extraneous noise) but that’s chump change. Grab it now because Open Up Your Heart may make your summer feeling come on that little bit faster.

MUST HAVE.

Written by Steve Gilmore

FAN FICTION: GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY #80 – Crazy Days BY ADRIAN J WATTS

What has come before….

LAST ISSUE: The Guardians of the Galaxy were whisked off to various points in MV1 Continuity, only to return to the middle of a battle between Galactus and Thanos, in which their ship, the Icarus, was blasted to shreds! Meanwhile, Doctor Doom seemingly went mad and fired Latveria and the two conquering behemoths, sending them out of our solar system for good.

Limbo

“Man, this just keeps gettin’ weirder and weirder!” Charlie-27 yells as he finds himself drifting in the endless wastes of Limbo. “Is everyone okay?”

One by one, the group, the Guardians of the Galaxy, responds. And each one thinks how weird their day has been. They learned that the “god” Yondu had been looking up to since they met him was, in fact, the mad Titanian, Thanos. And then, they were popped back to the twentieth century, to a wedding between Firestar and Justice of the New Warriors, where Vance Astro, their ally who they had left to lead a superteam one year after the wedding should have taken place, collapsed! Then, just as suddenly, they returned to the thirty-first century, where they found themselves here.

“So, um, what do we do now, Chunks?” Nikki asks. “‘Cause I don’t have a clue.”

Doomstadt, Earth, 31st Century

The Galactic Guardians and Guardian Force recovered from the shock of the very land they were standing on blasting off from beneath their feet. It had been a huge jolt, but they had been slightly warned by Doom and Mainframe slightly before it all went off.

“Uh, what was that?” Replica asked with a look of shock on her face.

“Perhaps we can explain,” Replica turned around to face a short alien, green like herself, but about half a foot tall. “We are the Impossi-people.”

“But there’s only one of you,” Replica said, her voice catching the attention of Firelord, he leaned over her shoulder and let out an audible groan. “Is there a problem, Firelord?”

“Not them…” Firelord said. “I hate these creatures.”

“Yeah, and we hate you, too, Flamey. Anyway, Skrull, would you say it’s impossible for me to be more than one person?” the little creature asked.

“Of course!” Replica said.

“Then I must be more than one person because we are the Impossi-people. Get it?” the creature asked.

“No,” Replica said.

The creature signed. “You Skrulls are so dense sometimes. We are the Impossi-people. We embody everything that is impossible. You say it’s impossible for Latveria to really be able to launch itself into space? It was us who made that happen, to protect you from Thanos and Ultron. You say it’s impossible for Hollywood to come back to life – again?” He waved his little green hands, and Hollywood appeared next to Replica. “We make the impossible possible,” the creature finished explaining.

“You can see why I dislike these creatures,” Firelord explained. “However, it is good to see you return, Hollywood, although I had not been made aware of your death.”

“Long story,” Hollywood explained.

“Now do you understand?” the creature asked.

“Not at all,” Replica answered. “But I don’t care. You brought Hollywood back!”

Firelord watched as Replica gave Simon Williams a big hug, then turned his attention to the Impossi-people… er, well, Impossi-person, perhaps?

“Creature, you claimed to be able to explain why Doctor Doom just rode his nation into space?” Firelord asked.

“Oh, that. That’s just part of the many ways we’ve helped you and the Guardians and the Galaxy over time,” the Impossi-people explained.

“How else have you helped us?” Firelord asked.

“Many ways. You would have died when you landed on that uncharted planet, had we not shielded you. Starhawk and Kismet would never have wanted to return here with you, and attack Era, inciting the appearance of cosmic awareness inside Gan-Vell, descendant of Genis-Vell, had we not implanted the idea in their minds. We protected the Guardians of the Galaxy from coming across a fake Barbara Morse Barton in New York City by tricking Martinex and Charlie-27 into visiting hell for a few moments before Kristoff Vernard could teleport them away.”

The Impossi-people gasped for air, then continued. “We made Galactus turn Alkhema into his new herald, in order for her to one day travel to the past of another reality and create an army of robots who we hope will one day be ‘more than meets the eye”. We made Galactus betray Ultron so that you could capture the adamantium robot, ending his threat to humanity. We used Vance Astrovik and Angelica Jones’ wedding as a place to transport your erstwhile allies, and even as we speak, the Guardians of the Galaxy from three months in the future have swapped places with them. And finally, when the Guardians of the Galaxy were struck by Thanos and Galactus, we transported them to limbo, to keep them from dying. Oh, and we did the whole Doc Doom riding on a country thing, but Doom was really one of me.”

“Oh,” Replica said. “How… daunting.”

“Yes…” Firelord said. “Now, can you transport us to Limbo, with sufficient equipment to return with our teammates?”

“No,” the creature said.

“No? What do you mean, no?” Firelord shrieked.

“You don’t think we would have helped you without reason, do you?” the Impossi-people asked.

“There is always a catch with you things,” Firelord said.

“Yes. And this time, the catch is – you must save my people!” the Impossi-people demanded.

An oddly green planet on the edge of the galaxy, 31st century

“Come on, Impossi-people! I will beat me now!” said an Impossi-people.

“No! That’s impossible! I will beat me!” said an Impossi-people.

“That’s exactly why I will succeed!” said the first (or were they the same one?). The Impossi-people struck each other, and they both popped out of existence in a blue flash… only to reappear, moments later, split into ninety-six separate beings!

“I will beat me!”

“No, I will beat me!”

“Wanna bet? You shall beat you!”

In truth, it was quite maddening.

Limbo

“Guardians, Martinex has a plan, right, Martinex?” Charlie-27 announced, not even trying to sound confident.

“No, Charlie, I don’t. Unless… hey! Immortus lives here!” Martinex answered.

“Immortus? The Master of Time?” Yondu asked. “And how will that help us?”

“Limbo is a state of time, Yondu. Immortus has the power to alter it, and thus remove us from it,” Martinex answered again.

“Sounds doable,” Nikki said. “But how can we find Immortus’ house, or whatever it is he lives in?”

The four Guardians of the Galaxy scratched their heads. None of them had any idea.

“Loki,” Nikki said at last. “Maybe he can help.”

“But he’s trapped in a helmet. How the heck do we get him out?” Charlie asked, only to be responded to by an angry, booming voice.

“THERE IS NO NEED, CHARLIE-27, FIFTH GENERATION MILITIAMAN AND PRESENT LEADER OF THE GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, FOR I, IMMORTUS: MASTER OF TIME, WILL TRANSPORT YOU TO MY CITADEL MYSELF. IN RETURN FOR ONE SMALL FAVOUR, OF COURSE.”

“And that is?” Charlie found himself asking.

“YOU MUST DESTROY A PEOPLE.”

The planet K’Rann, 31st century

Thor and Sif, with the blue-skinned wizard Meran in tow, stormed into the royal castle.

“What is the meaning of this — oh, it’s you, my lord Thor,” the king cried out.

“Where hast thou kept Loki?” Thor asked.

“Loki…? Why, you took him, master Thor,” the king answered. Thor immediately turned to face Meran.

“Where is he, wizard?” Thor asked.

“Er…” Meran tried to think of an excuse. He couldn’t tell them that he had given the helmet in which Loki was trapped to Vance Astro, now could he?

“Er… perhaps he is in the castle dungeon,” Meran suggested.

The Impossi-people Homeworld, 31st century

“It’s impossible to destroy me! You die, now!” someone said.

“No, you die!”

“But that’s impossible!”

And the planet’s population was multiplied by 96 again…

Immortus’ Abode, Limbo

“So you see, Guardians of the Galaxy, the Impossi-people must be stopped, to preserve the timestream. Their ability to make the impossible possible would be powerful enough to collapse the walls of reality in on themselves! This cannot be allowed to come to pass.” Immortus said.

“But how can we beat them? With power like that, they could easily put an end to us.” Charlie asked.

“You can use this.” Immortus concentrated and into his hands appeared a weapon, apparently made of concentric circles of various sizes travelling infinitely in all directions. “It is a portable Microcosmos. Simply activate it and throw it at the Impossi-people’s planet, and he will be captured.”

“Why can’t you do this yourself?” Martinex asked.

“I am forbidden to alter the timestream in such a way myself,” Immortus answered. “And besides, Ms. Marvel Adventures is about to be on TV!” He pressed a button on his control panel, restoring the Guardians – with a brand new ship to boot – back into real time.

“Wow! Look at this ship!” Nikki said. “It’s amazing!”

“Yeah.” Martinex agreed. “But now, we have a mission to accomplish.”

Meanwhile, on Earth, the Galactic Guardians were hearing more of the Impossi-people’s tale.

“Even as we speak, Immortus has sent the Guardians of the Galaxy to destroy us,” the Impossi-people said. “All 9564773547354563562465242 of I will die if you don’t help.”

“We’ll help,” said Phoenix IX, hearing the end of the explanation. “Let’s go.”

The Impossi-people merely blinked, and the Galactic Guardians appeared on the Impossi-people’s planet. It looked eerie, with the billions of trillions of zillions of creatures writhing over the planet’s surface. But merely a second later, the Guardians of the Galaxy, in their new ship, appeared over the planet.

“My god!” said the Impossi-people. “They have a portable microcosmos! We’ll ALL be trapped!”

The Impossi-people looked in terror as the portable microcosmos hurtled toward the planet’s surface. All but one, who, at the second of impact, remained outside of the device’s sphere of influence.

“Look!” Nikki said, from the ship above. “The Impossi-people… they’re still there, with the Galactic Guardians. Let’s go down and see what’s going on.” Charlie-27 landed the ship, just in time to hear the Impossi-people’s explanation.

“So you see, I managed to keep myself free, but Immortus is a sneaky one. His microcosmos has limited my powers out here, so while I can do anything in there, I can only do nearly anything out here,” he explained.

“Oh maaaaan! This is toooo confusing,” Nikki said. “I quit.”

“What?!?” Charlie asked. “You… quit?”

“Yes, Charlie, I quit. I’ve been with you guys since the beginning, and I never have a clue what’s going on. I always pretend I do, of course, but I never really do. And this is the last straw. I’m going to go back to what I was good at,” Nikki said.

“You know, I can make her rejoin…” the Impossi-people said.

“You stay out of this!” Charlie shouted. “Listen, Nik, don’t go.”

“You can’t stop me, Chunks.” Nikki said.

“Yes, Charlie, and if she’s going, I too shall go. I will be needed to help my people, now that they know who Anthos really was,” Yondu said.

Next, Firelord spoke up. “And being a Galactic Guardian had become quite tiresome. I need to go find the Silver Surfer. Maybe he will be more fun to be around.” Firelord flew into the air, and off away from the planet.

“Don’t worry,” Mainframe said to Charlie. “We will stay. Hollywood and I need a purpose, now. Something we can do together.”

“Yeah!” Replica said. “Meet the new Guardians of the Galaxy – Charlie-27, Martinex, Mainframe, Hollywood, Replica, and Phoenix IX!”

“Wait a second…” Charlie said.

“What’s there to wait for?” the Impossi-people asked. “You all ready to go?”

Everyone nodded, except Charlie. The Impossi-people blinked, and everyone popped back to where they wanted to be, just as Charlie cried out a loud “STOP!”.

And in Limbo, Immortus chuckled. He had planned all this. The portable microcosmos was none other than a power control device, and he had seized control of the Impossi-people, using his power to make the Guardians quit, reducing the team to it’s weakest members. Yes… he would strike now. The Galaxy was ready for Immortus to become the MASTER OF ALL TIME!

NEXT ISSUE: New writer! New team! No more Impossi-people! Have fun!

Written by Adrian J. Watts of SoftPixels.net