G. Michael Vasey's Blog: The Wacky World of Dr. Vasey, page 94

The Anatomy of a Bad Review

If you take a look over on Amazon.com at the reviews for The Last Observer, you will discover a couple of 1-star reviews there. I’m not sure if these two people know each other but they sound remarkably similar. There is nothing wrong with bad reviews. We don’t all like the same things and constructive bad reviews are useful in growing as a writer or whatever it is we do. In fact, go to any book on Amazon with several reviews and you will find a range of reviews from bad to great. I was just reading Anthony Peake discussing a bad review he got for one of his books too. Sometimes, people are not just critical but personal and its then that I feel things cross the line to inappropriate. To make my point, one of the bad reviewers took the time to go through all of the good reviews and mark them as ‘unhelpful’. This is just vindictive.

Let’s parody these bad reviews just for fun….

“I actually picked up name of book here on the cheap. After reading the copyright information on the inside cover I immediately knew I had wasted my 99cents. What kind of publisher would take this nonsense I thought as I returned it to the second hand store and demanded my money back. I confess to flicking through the rest of the book just to confirm my views that this writer should never have learned the alphabet. It was all those 5-star reviews that tempted me into parting with my hard earned cash but now, I realize that I was conned by the fabulous job the author did bribing his family, friends and colleagues to write these brazen, gushing, deceitful and annoying lies. Buyer beware, no one who isn’t bribed by this author or currently sleeping with him/her would write anything positive about this book.

The story is non-existent and based on my 30-second flick through of the text over my cod and chips from the local chippy, if you have seen any of the Matrix movies, you will be sickeningly familiar with this type of book. Vasey – oh I forgot – that’s Dr. Vasey (always a give away of mostly illegible writing), can’t write and in my learned opinion, should never have graduated high school. I mean, exactly who actually uses terms like “Oh, I see!” or “Yes, I’ll have a beer please” or, even worse, “Hello”? There are no characters, nor any story of any value that is obvious to the 30-second flick through. Vasey obviously has grandiose ideas of himself and his writing that need to be nipped in the bud by someone sane and rational like me and I have made it my duty to protect you all from this kind of amateurish crap.

Trust me, don’t buy this book. It truly sucks and so does Vasey who probably should have been aborted before birth so that the rest of us wouldn’t have to put up with his horrible self promotion and ugly prose.”

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Trial by Social Media

There used to be a time when family matters were kept private. Perhaps that wasn’t a healthy attitude – sweeping things under the carpet and keeping it within the family but there were and still are appropriate channels via which people can get assistance and make complaints. Of course, there has always been gossip and gossip newspaper and magazines but by and large, people chose whether they wished to consume this type of frivolous nonsense by actually buying the magazine. Mainstream media, wary of legal action or a slap on the wrist from regulators, also (usually) maintained some element of restraint.

Like many things, social media and the internet has changed all of that.

Today, we see various ways in which accusations may be made, sides taken and people’s reputations ruined via a few choice words tweeted to the world or by posting a few inappropriate pictures to a revenge website. Its trial by social media these days…..

Let’s take the recent Woody Allen case as an example. A couple of tweets and all of a sudden people are screaming for the guy’s head on a plate. I’m not going to get into the details or take sides on this issue but just make the point that I don’t think deliberately tweeting this kind of allegation to the world and encouraging the sheep that follow such things into mass writhings and perhaps in some cases, dubious actions is at all appropriate. Plainly, there is agony in this family but I’m pretty sure its not my business because I cannot possibly know the facts and I cannot possibly be expected to make a judgement. Child abuse is a hideous and terrible allegation but resorting to social media is simply inappropriate at best and maliciously evil at worst. I did do some research prompted by this but I daresay I am one in a minority that didn’t just jump to a conclusion. My research tells me that this is not a black and white case. Again, its not my business and I am not qualified to decide.

In fact, I think what has been done to Woody Allen is the equivalent of an equally ugly trend on the net – ‘revenge porn’. I do have an opinion on this and that is it should be illegal and those that run such sites should face prosecution and personal liability. Those injured by such activity should be able to claim damages from the sites and whoever sent the pictures in.

I was raised in a world where people had rights. They were innocent until proven guilty by a trial of their peers. These days, people are hung drawn and quartered by hysterical masses of no nothings who browse social media and believe that they can and should have an opinion on everything. They are neither qualified nor competent to hold such opinions or make judgements.

I worry and you should also be concerned about Woody Allen. No, I’m not making any suggestions as to his innocence or guilt but to this case as an example of how, under the wrong control, the internet and social media is being primed as a tool to control and direct mob behaviour.

We are the mob.

The question is, who is pulling the strings?

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People….

You have to wonder sometimes exactly how people think. We own (well the bank does actually but that’s by the by) an apartment in Brno. We will be moving back there in a couple of months. It’s the ground floor flat in a four story building meaning that we have three neighbors above us. Various services are shared between the tenants and accounted for at the end of each year such as common power, water and a cleaning.

Really, the building is a microcosm of the world I should think. It’s like a bloody soap opera as well.

The people who live at the top of our nice building seem to believe that the common funds are there to pay for their improvements. In the hallway outside of our front door is a door frame and nearby a pile of bricks, plaster and dust. Apparently, our nice neighbor replaced his front door frame and deposited the unwanted materials there because…. ‘the hallways will be redecorated shortly using the common funds and whoever does that can dispose of his crap at the same time’. Can you believe the sheer cheek!

You see, we have been away and renting out place out. He is in for a shock on our return because its all going back up the stairs to be dumped outside of HIS front door.

Now, for some unknown reason our WC and the WC of the people two floors above us share a meter. Every year, the meter is split based on the number of people occupying each apartment by month. Since ours has been lying empty for several months, you would think there could be little question about the relative shares of this bill given that an apartment is charged for one person per month even if its EMPTY by house rules. I.e. we are helping pay for our nice neighbors flushings. You would think they would be grateful right? Nope.

You see, we renovated our place before moving in and then promptly moving out to come to Prague and they suggest that during this reconstruction, we had the builders tap into said WC water supply for other ‘usages’. They claim that they have been watching the meter (its buried in the basement) and that strangely usage has gone up significantly whenever our place is occupied. Of course, they can’t actually show us any evidence of this as they didn’t actually write down meter readings but just ‘observed’ this. Furthermore, they suggest that when our apartment was rented, it was occupied by three not two people as we suggest and therefore, we should be charged more of the meter.

Well, they are right. Sometime during our renter’s stay at our apartment, his wife gave birth. We, as yet, haven’t had an answer to the question we naturally posed – ‘how does a new born baby flush a toilet?’.

Anyway, to return to the main thrust. Of course, there were no changes to the arrangement whereby the WC is served by one water supply and the rest of our flat by another – independently metered and paid for by me. Its just a matter of inviting them down to our place next time we are there and showing them the meter going around when we turn on the shower, bathroom faucet and/or washing machine!

Now apparently they dispute 2012 and 2013 allocations of water charges. They are due to pay around twice what we will. They comprise 5 adults there all year long, we comprise two adults there for 6-months of the year. Yes, it sounds unfair. I think we are paying too much.

The lady who does the accounting for the building as a service has decided to get this resolved she needs to call a meeting of the owners of the building – all four owners! Of course, we were quiet puzzled as to why this involves anyone but ourselves and the sharers of the meter and, just exactly why would we spend 2000CZK in petrol and lose a day at work to drive down there for a meeting over a 500CZK dispute? Yes. Can you believe it – they are disputing $25 over the two years! That’s TWENTY FIVE dollars.

For said $25, our neighbor has been recording the comings and goings of our tenants – she knew the exact date they left – we didn’t. Recording our comings and goings and whether if we visited we were there long enough to possibly flush the lav. She visits the filthy,. cobweb infested cellar to check that meter all the time. And all for $25. What is wrong with this woman??? Especially since its pretty obvious that it is us that overpay. So far our suggestion that they invest in their own separate meter has fallen on deaf ears.

So, you see, I sometimes wonder about people I do. Luckily, the people above us have so far been as sweet as can be….. but you never know do you.

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London and the Brits – Observations

I had a quick trip to London this week and I have decided that London is almost unrecognizable to me these days. So much development work and a real shift in eating habits over the last 20-years means that I really am lost there.

I started my career as a Geologist with BP and after moving down from Aberdeen and a spell at the BP Research Center, I was moved to Britannic House – the tower block on the edge of the City of London. Being in the City, I retraced my steps from the Bank tube station as I would have walked to work some 20+ years ago and not only did I recognize very little but I couldn’t find Britannic House at all! I came home thinking it must have been demolished. A little bit of research this morning shows it was redeveloped and is now called CityPoint. No wonder I couldn’t find it as it looks nothing like the building I worked in. In fact, that whole area around the Barbican is a mess of new office blocks and is completely changed.

The Britannic House I recall.

Back when I was working in and around the City (London Bridge, Shaftesbury Avenue included) lunch was a sandwich usually made as you waited in a small newsagents or similar. These days it seems to be all sushi and bento box, Pret a Manger and noodle and soup places. If you want a sandwich its Tesco’s or M&S. Coffee shops abound too. It’s rather nice actually to have a great choice of good food at reasonable prices.

CityPoint…

In fact, London is a nice city. It has been dramatically improved over the years and while I know folk think Prague a nice place, its got nothing on London! Prague is smaller, less busy and easier to get around but if you want the big city – London has everything including history, architecture, excellent entertainment and dining…..

I’d almost move back except that, I’m sorry to say it but its true, the Brits have to be the whiniest people on the planet. Constantly moaning and complaining about everything from the weather to the Government. I think it comes from watching British TV as it seems to me that British news and documentaries are a constant stream of things you should be moaning about. It has become a real British cultural thing to moan about everything – very noticeable to an outsider or visitor. Maybe it was always that way and its me that’s changed having lived overseas these last 23-years…..

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All at Sea

See, I have this dream

We are all at sea

Wet, cold bloody misery

Massive waves throw us

From side-to-side

It’s simply a hellish ride

But when the Sun shines

We can dry out on the deck

Singing what the heck

Cos it’s a fine old day

Sailing through our allotted time

Seeking meaning or sign

What a wonderful ride

Following a golden sunbeam

Tumbling through life’s dream

If you enjoy my poems you may like to purchase one of my three books of poetry?

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Taking Responsibility

Last night I saw someone had shared an “Occupy Democrat” post on Facebook. I find it quiet interesting how such political propaganda (from all sides) like this gets air time and even more interesting are the comments. However, these things are lies designed to manipulate, polarize and alienate. I will use the words of someone else to describe what I mean…

Lies and Deception are the enemy of the Truth. They are put forward into the minds and hearts of the people of Earth by those who rage against what is. They are spoken, propagated and acted upon by those with a vested interest in keeping the understanding of the Truth from reaching the Consciousness of each individual.

Lies and deception are insidious, for once they have been believed and accepted by well-meaning individuals, these individuals, in their ignorance, become agents for the spread of these falsehoods. This is how lies and propaganda are spread from generation to generation. A parent is indoctrinated into the lie, and then the parent indoctrinates their children, who in turn indoctrinate their children, and so on, down through the generations.

(From Whatonearthishappening.com – Note: I do not suggest that this website is worth visiting but these words struck me as very well written).

I particularly like the phrase ‘rage against what is’. Just take a look at Facebook or any activist website and you will see that these people ‘rage against what is”. I fall in to the same trap at times as I rage against the ignorance and total lack of thinking of people who simply accept this stuff without question.

We all spread these lies often in a well meaning and well intentioned way – but they are insidious lies and propaganda and we need to really take responsibility and stop.

Back to the ‘Occupy Democrats’ propaganda I started with. The crux of the matter is that industry and the jobs have been lost to the USA because ‘big evil money making corporations, supported by their partners in crime, Republicans (crosses himself vigorously) have progressively destroyed US industry via free trade agreements and their greed. Sorry, thats not true.

Here is the truth.

You – yes you. You want more and more consumer goods and luxury items. You want them cheap, you want them now. When you tire of them, you dump them but you dump them for the next best thing because you want more and more for less and less. That’s you in a nutshell right? Well, guess what, this means that you buy cheaper goods from places like China, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Philippines, even Japan. You don’t buy more expensive goods produced in the US or the UK. Spotting this, business owners try to satisfy your craving by finding ways to bring you those goods at the price you want to pay. So they move the production of the goods to a cheaper location. Hell, it might even by your job that gets moved to China. So you see, the truth is you are to blame. Only when you stop trying to blame everyone and everything and perpetuate political parties that help you think its someone else’s fault, will things get better.

You want a revolution? Start with yourself.

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Thrilling, Enjoyable, Classy, Fun, Fast-paced….

There is a common theme to the reviews of The Last Observer – see if you can spot it! Here are a selection of snippets – to read more please visit the publisher’s page.

..script-writers alert; this would make a cracking film! I enjoyed it immensely

..if you just want a great ride, this book will thrill you..

Really enjoyed the book..

The Last Observer is a classy, well crafted novella which leaves the reader satisfied and hooked. Great read.

..a small part of me would love to see the dialogue in Chapter Twenty – Zeltan Speaks performed by Al Pacino just as he did his famous defense of the human condition as Satan in the movie version of The Devil’s Advocate. If you liked that scene, you’ll enjoy this strikingly honest appraisal of modern magic.

..I couldn’t put the book down once I started reading it!!

.. I am still pondering the surprising ending,..

I had trouble putting it down to go to work or sleep.

.. keeps you turning the pages..

The Last Observer is a fun adventure..

It was a captivating mystery from the start with an unexpected twist at the end.

It is a very fast paced read with more emphasis on action than on detail… or so it seems until you realize that along with the dose of entertainment you’ve been drawn in to an intense lesson on the nature of reality.

Definitely a recommended read!

Come on Gary can’t leave it there!

So why not write your review of this talked about and unusual magical tale – buy it here.

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Ice Symbols

Finally we have some snow here in Prague. As I look out of the window today of the room that serves for my office, it is that beautiful grey sky, leaden with intent, snowflakes falling gently and undisturbed whiteness everywhere. I love such days. Its forecast to be this way for a few days too so maybe we will get some sledging in before it all melts. Snow is marvelous if you think about. Unique crystals of the stuff that show the miracle of creation in every flake. A warm blanket of cold stuff for Mother Earth. Initially perfect in every way.

I say initially because it melts eventually turning into freezing cold puddles of brownish mess. Before it melts, it gets hardened and compacted and covered with yellowish patches where the dogs melted it. Sometimes the whiteness is washed with dirt and mud from passing cars and the snow becomes a collector of dirt. Eventually, it all melts away and disappears revealing once more the green fecundity it once hid.

It’s all cycles. Birth and death. Freshness and staleness. Freezing and melting. It’s the natural way of things and if you contemplate it, you will find that like everything else, it is a symbol with many meanings and much to be learned…..

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The Journey Home

Did you think there was no coming back

Did you think I was digging my own hole

Eyes seeking eyes lips seeking lips

Anger rises and with words on the attack

Come on surely you didn’t think…

But of course you did, didn’t you

It’s raining memories now as I understand

My dreams and my thoughts just made that link

Insane, it’s just another bloody mess

Life is like that when we truly do learn

Hanging upside down to see you right

Is there something you’d like to confess?

Hand in hand, walking through stills

Pictured the way the lens remembered you

It’s a slog, a long climb towards the Sun

A life rich in bumps, holes and hilly hills

Drenched in salty sweat and tears

Life goes on and on (and on)

I’m drifting, simply drifting away

Carried there by the words of an ageless seer.

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The BIG questions

I found myself thinking deep thoughts for much of this last weekend. You see, I can’t just live my life and not ask What am I? what is this all about? Knowing that most likely I will never actually know just makes it worse for me. Strangely perhaps, these questions have arisen in my mind all of my life – even when I was a small boy.

Though I know that I may never actually find an answer doesn’t stop me from searching for one (or many). It is what has driven me to meditation and contemplation. I also suspect that if there were an answer, it would simply be impossible to describe it to anyone else and that I may not even by capable of understanding.

Given that this was my theme for the weekend, I wasn’t surprised to see this posted by somebody on Facebook….

The Egg

By: Andy Weir

You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.

And that’s when you met me.

“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”

“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.

“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”

“Yup,” I said.

“I… I died?”

“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.

You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”

“More or less,” I said.

“Are you god?” You asked.

“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”

“My kids… my wife,” you said.

“What about them?”

“Will they be all right?”

“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”

You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”

“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”

“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”

“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”

“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”

You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”

“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”

“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”

I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.

“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”

“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”

“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”

“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”

“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”

“Where you come from?” You said.

“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”

“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”

“So what’s the point of it all?”

“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”

“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.

I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”

“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”

“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”

“Just me? What about everyone else?”

“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”

You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”

“All you. Different incarnations of you.”

“Wait. I’m everyone!?”

“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.

“I’m every human being who ever lived?”

“Or who will ever live, yes.”

“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”

“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.

“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.

“And you’re the millions he killed.”

“I’m Jesus?”

“And you’re everyone who followed him.”

You fell silent.

“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”

You thought for a long time.

“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”

“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”

“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”

“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”

“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”

“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”

And I sent you on your way.

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