G. Michael Vasey's Blog: The Wacky World of Dr. Vasey, page 112

The Inner Child

Some of us grow up different. Don’t ask me why.

Things started when I was a very small boy. One night, when I had been put down to bed in the back bedroom of the small semi my parents owned in west Hull, I recall watching a little blue man jump out of the mirror of the kid’s wardrobe I had in there. As if that were not enough, this little blue guy pulled out a gun, shot at me, and then leaped out through the window (through the glass). If I had been a bit older, I might have seen where things were headed generally, because my Dad was in that room so fast I don’t think I had even yet started to scream. I was so shocked. He, and my Mum downstairs, heard the bang of the gun shot!

I still don’t know what or who that little blue man was or why he was shooting at me in my room that night but I have long suspected he was a nature spirit; an elemental.

Such events continued from time-to-time. It’s funny how a small child sees things and I saw a lot. The world to me was magic, not in the way that all kid’s think the world magical when very young. No, I mean my world WAS magical. The dreams that I had and the things I saw…

By the age of 11 or 12, I was reading voraciously. While I will admit to the odd Enid Blyton, the books I read were by Madame Blavatsky, Denis Wheatley and, I am pretty sure, Franz Bardon. I started attending a group at the local Methodist Church called the Church for spiritual and Psychical Research (or similar). There wasn’t a soul under 55 except me and yet, my Dad was OK with this…. In a way, he encouraged it asking me about what I had learned and discussing many things with me.

I discovered somewhere in my mid teens that Dad was scared by the occult and spiritism. He did tell me why one day and I understood. He told me that when he was a small boy, his mother – a medium – had asked him and his brother if they would like to meet her spirit guide. They did. He recalled that his Mother literally changed into a Chinese gentlemen sitting in front of them. Quite naturally, he wanted no more to do with such things.

Many other such tales are told in Inner Journeys. The book tracks my love/hate relationship with my innate psychism and continued fascination with the occult and nature of reality. It discusses how I finally joined and studied with the Servants of the Light and what an impact that had on me. How I was able to finally bring things under a modicum of control.

Since then, I have continued to chip away at myself and investigate this topic. Of course, many things have changed. The internet, quantum physics, science… it’s easier these days to gain access to information and people. Easier to discuss, talk about and yes – write about.

Me? I’m still on a journey. When I was a 6-7 year old I knew things. I didn’t get this from books, the internet, or TV. I got it from me and my dreams. In all honesty, I feel as if I know less now than I did then and I know why. The world drags us in. It forces us to adapt, change and become ‘normal’. It places us in stressful situations where, if we conform, all is more or less acceptable whereas, if we fight to be US, we get trouble. In the process, we are told what is normal and what is not, what we should see and what we shouldn’t, what exists and what does not…..

So, there you go. I am trying to re-learn what I knew when I was a small boy. I am trying to relearn how to be a child. How to imagine with total clarity and see the hidden things, the magical things that exist all around us.

I was reading the Gospel of Thomas again last night. There is so much to learn and contemplate in that one document so consider this…

Jesus said, “The man old in days will not hesitate to ask a small child seven days old about the place of life, and he will live.

I am asking. I am asking my Inner Child.

The Gospel of Mary

The Gospel of Mary (Magdalene) is a fascinating but incomplete document that we have only recently had an opportunity to read since it was only relatively recently published. It makes you wonder what else is laying out there in the desert yet to be found?

This is a very esoteric document in which Jesus says there is no sin except that which we introduce, He discusses the nature of reality too! In fact, this is worthy of multiple reads and consideration.

I am one who thinks that Jesus did exist and was a Master. His message has been hijacked by evil dry men who use it to control us through fear unfortunately (You will go to Hell!!) when it should have been a liberating and magical message. Luckily, blind people cannot eradicate what they do not see and the New Testament still remains full of esoteric and occult knowledge. Of course, the discovery and bringing to the light of day texts like this and the Gospel of Thomas add to the idea that Jesus was an adept.

For what it is worth, despite those evil old men casting Mary M. as a whore and a prostitute, this text suggests that she was the better student among the Apostles and probably was truly the Disciple that Jesus Loved from the Gospel of John (no matter how hard this was hidden, it is still obvious).

I reproduce the Gospel of Mary below….

[. ..] (pp. 1-6 missing) will matter then be [destroyed] or not?” The Savior said, “All natures, all formations, all creatures exist in and with one another, and they will be resolved again into their own roots. For the nature of matter is resolved into the (roots) of its nature alone. He who has ears to hear, let him hear.”

Peter said to him, “Since you have explained everything to us, tell us this also: What is the sin of the world?” , The Savior said, ” There is no sin, but it is you who make sin when you do the things that are like the nature of adultery, which is called ‘sin.’ That is why the Good came into your midst, to the (essence) of every nature, in order to restore it to its root.” Then he continued and said, “That is why you’ [become sick] and die, for [. ..] of the one who [. ..He who] , understands, let him understand. [Matter gave birth to] a passion that has no equal, which proceeded from (something) contrary to nature. Then there arise a disturbance in the whole body. That is why I said to you, ‘Be of good courage,’ and if you are discouraged (be) encouraged in the presence of the different forms of nature. He who has ears to hear, let him hear.’

When the blessed one had said this, he greeted them all, saying, “Peace be with you. Receive my peace to yourselves. Beware that no one lead you astray, saying, ‘Lo here!’ or ‘Lo’ there!’ For the Son of Man is within you. Follow after him! Those who seek him will find him. Go then and preach the gospel of the kingdom. Do not lay down any rules beyond what I appointed for you, and do not give a law like the lawgiver lest you be constrained by it.” When he had said this, he departed.

But they were grieved. They wept greatly, saying, “How shall we go to the gentiles and preach the gospel of the kingdom of the Son of Man? If they did not spare him, how will they spare us?” Then Mary stood up, greeted them all, and said to her brethren, “Do not weep and do not grieve nor be irresolute, for his grace will be entirely with you and will protect you. But rather let us praise his greatness, for he has prepared us and made us into men.” When Mary said this, she turned their hearts to the Good, and they began to discuss the words of the [Savior].

Peter said to Mary, ‘Sister, I we know that the Savior loved you more than the rest of women. Tell us the words of the Savior which you remember – which you know (but) we do not, nor have we heard them.” Mary answered and said, “What is hidden from you will proclaim to you.” And she began to speak to them these words: “I,” she said, ” I saw the Lord in a vision and I said to him, ‘Lord, I saw you today in a vision.’ He answered and said to me, ‘Blessed are you, that you did not waver at the sight of me. For where the mind is, there is the treasure. ‘I said to him, ‘Lord, now does he who sees the vision see it (through) the soul (or) through the spirit?’ The Savior answered and said. ‘He does not see through the soul nor through the spirit, but the mind which [is] between the two – that is [what] sees the vision and it is [. ..].’ (pp. 11-14 missing)

“[. ..] it. And desire that, ‘I did not see you descending, but now I see you ascending. Why do you lie, since you belong to me?’ The soul answered and said, ‘I saw you. You did not see me nor recognize me. I served you as a garment, and you did not know me.’ When it had said this, it went away rejoicing greatly.

“Again it came to the third power, which is called ignorance. [It (the power)] questioned the soul saying, ‘Where are you going? In wickedness are you bound. But you are bound; do not judge!’ And the soul said, ‘why do you judge me although I have not judged? I was bound though I have not bound. I was not recognized. But I have recognized that the All is being dissolved, both the earthly (things) and the heavenly.’

When the soul had overcome the third power, it went upwards and saw the fourth power, (which) took seven forms. The first form is darkness, the second desire, the third ignorance, the fourth is the excitement of death, the fifth is the kingdom of the flesh, the sixth is the foolish wisdom of flesh, the seventh is the wrathful wisdom. These are the seven [powers] of wrath. They ask the soul, ‘Whence do you come, slayer of men, or where are you going, conqueror of space?’ The soul answered and said, ‘What binds me has been slain, and what surrounds me has been overcome, and my desire has been ended, and ignorance has died. In a [world] I was released from a world, [and] in a type from a heavenly type, and (from) the fetter of oblivion which is transient. From this time on will I attain to the rest of the time, of the season, of the aeon, in silence.’

When Mary had said this, she fell silent, since it was to this point that the Savior had spoken with her. But Andrew answered and said to the brethren, “Say what you (wish to) say I about what she has said. I at least do not believe that the Savior said this. For certainly these teachings are strange ideas.” Peter answered and spoke concerning these same things. He questioned them about the Savior: “Did he really speak with a woman without our knowledge (and) not openly? Are we to turn about and all listen to her? Did he prefer her to us?”

Then Mary wept and said to Peter, “My brother Peter, what do you think? Do you think that I thought this up myself in my heart, or that I am lying about the Savior?” Levi answered and said to Peter, “Peter, you have always been hot-tempered. Now I see you contending against the woman like the adversaries. But if the Savior made her worthy, who are you indeed to reject her? Surely the Savior knows her very well. That is why he loved her more than us. Rather let us be ashamed and put on the perfect man and acquire him for ourselves as he commanded us, and preach the gospel, not laying down any other rule or other law beyond what the Savior said. When [ ...] and they began to go forth [to] proclaim and to preach.

Dad

Last night I dreamed we played

Model airplanes and such

I heard your laugh again

And felt your company

Special, so very special

Since you left it’s been a bit harder

I guess every son misses his father

It’s not the same you see

No one to ask now when needing advice

No special moments of devilish fun

No more beers down the pub

No trips full of historical interest

Just a dream or two

and a face that looks enough like you

to warrant a second glance

Where did you go?

Cos I really miss you you know.

Peter the Roman, Fatima, and The Truth

I am stuck at home sick. Apparently, it is inflammation of the lung so I am miserable because, not only am I under the weather but, I have to quit the cigs! At times like these, I don’t have much energy and resort to browsing the internet mainly because Czech T.V. isn’t much fun. I often end up chasing down topics across the net and last night was no exception. For some reason, I found myself reading about the Fatima children and the three secrets. I started searching on the fact that the Pope is resigning, found all kinds of doomsday nonsense about the Last Pope – Peter the Roman, and from there, went to the Fatima stories.

My initial thought, trawling through this material on the web, was good grief, no sooner is the whole 2012 thing finally dead than here we go again with more doomsday, end-of-the-world, nonsense. I worry about this constant need to have the End times just around the corner. I mean, people are thinking and willing this stuff. Sweating over it. Eventually, they will create it in reality. I lay in bed last night, next to my daughter, who migrated from her bed to ours as she tends to do, thinking about it. Stroking her hair wondering what she will face in her lifetime? Looking around, I do worry.

You know, if you read all sides of these stories, and you can on the internet, I come to the conclusion that its all nonsense. The Malachy document, which lists all the Popes to the last in Peter the Roman (The next Pope by the way), was almost certainly created by some Papal candidate in the dim and distant past who hoped it might be the tipping point in getting him elected (nothing has changed sadly has it?). Now, it will be picked up and waved around, and used to worry everyone as the latest and greatest Doomsday scenario……. lovely!

But, back to Fatima. I read all sides of this story too. There are hundreds of variations each supporting someone’s point of view. The truth, if there ever was any at all, is long gone and what we are left with is the dry skin of a hollow lie propagated to create fear. I read three variations on the so called Third Secret along with endless discussion and arguments about which was the correct one, why the Church hadn’t released it etc. ad naseum. There are those who believe the Church shouldn’t compromise and stick to its Guns (they should in my opinion, as this is their Dogma and it shouldn’t be changed. If people don’t agree, they should move on). There are those who say the whole thing was a plot to end Communism, or a plot by the Soviet Union to ensure that Communism couldn’t end…. my head spins.

As I have said many times – there no longer is any truth – just someone’s version of it. TRUTH has been lost across the board in politics, marketing, opinion mongering, and yes – Religion. These days everyone is so busy shouting out their version of the truth that no one is listening. In the good old days, there was just one version of the Truth. It may not actually have been truth but, if you didn’t accept it……..

In the end, what got me more was how some people speak about God. The Fatima prophesy (and others like it), were used to say that ‘Mary the Mother of God and Jesus have really tried hard to keep the Father’s temper in check over our continued behavior, but, they need our help in the form of penance, Hail Mary’s, and sacrifice, to stop Him up there going totally overboard and bringing fire from heaven on all of our heads such that millions upon millions of us (Good or Bad), die every second.’ Oh, and btw…. the Protestants will go first and even more dreadfully.

You know, I am sorry, but I don’t believe my God acts like a jealous and angry human. I think God is God. Beyond comprehension and not prone to retribution. I don’t think he has a Family that is interceding on our behalf either. Why? I mean, is the Deity living in some heavenly Soap Opera then or what? Neither do I think He/She/It takes sides, or favors one religion above another (In fact, I suspect, It thinks they are all foolish). But then, who am I to have an opinion?

As thinkers probe reality (I say thinkers not scientists because Science is also a religion of sorts these days), we seem to be coming to some surprising and startling pictures of how reality is. It appears to be turning out that we are all one thing, inter-connected, and creating this reality (and possibly an infinite number of others) every step of the way. It seems that Love really is the way to approach life and people. That whatever this force is, it works and it influences what is created and how. Right now, while everyone is shouting at each other about the Truth, the Truth is actually right there in front of us waiting for us to be quiet enough for a minute to see it.

I just hope enough of us see it quickly enough.

Books, Work and Judgement

Just recently, I have been busy writing and editing (and editing) The Last Observer while living my normal demanding life. I probably submitted the manuscript to a publisher too early in my excitement for being ‘finished’. For finished, read unedited spillage onto page as I feverishly wrote the thing, night after night, wondering where it was coming from! I’m like that. Impatient. It is actually one of my strengths but also a significant weakness. It is my impatience, you see, that drives me day-by-day, multitasking like crazy to achieve my goals. It’s a fact, that I have achieved much much more than many who knew me at the age of 12 would have thought and it is this impatient drive of mine that I credit for it.

The downside of this is that I tend to rush things. I don’t savour anything. I rush and rush meeting goals and objectives only to discover that, once I do so, there is a new goal! This is not a good thing as I am never satisfied and I am always judging my progress against my goals. This impatience also tends to show itself as starting well and finishing weakly or as developing the big picture but not wanting to involve myself in the detail. Believe it or not, these are also strengths of a sort that I can utilize everyday in business if I am shrewd enough.

Someone I recently started communicating with regarding Bardon’s work read this self-judgement and goal-orientation immediately in our email communication. He told me that I should not judge and should plod along with magic and take whatever comes along. He is right of course. Judging your self or others is actually a terrible way to lead your life and causes much unnecessary unhappiness and stress. But… this is what is demanded of you if you serve as an executive or manager in a business. This is one of the key’s to success!

So there it is again. This dilemma of trying to have a foot in the real world of business and the need to make a living and the other foot dipped into magic. It’s a polarity that needs to be resolved but, you know, it is difficult to do so.

I have found myself in recent weeks trying not to make judgements in some areas of my life while continuing to do so professionally. I have compartmentalized things. I’m not sure if what I am doing is correct but it seems to be working a little. I am afraid that I will lose my judgement skills at work but then, at 53, maybe it doesn’t matter anymore? There is then a daily battle of polarities at play in my life right now. I think that’s good. Its a dynamic that lets you know that you are still alive.

Meanwhile, all is not lost with the book. The publisher likes the story but criticized the manuscript. Its 50:50 I would say. If its rejected then there are more publishers and I am editing the book now in a serious way. Funny thing is that, to do so requires judgement. Maybe I will be lucky next week and hear some positive news. Maybe not. I am not going to lose any sleep over it. The book will see the light of day and I enjoyed writing it as it discusses the nature of reality and I am passionate about that!

Talking of which. Have you ever put on some really amazing music? Something that really moves you or holds great memories for you? If so, play it through head phones and walk or travel to work. Tell me, that as you look around you with the feelings stemming from the music, that you don’t see the world a different way? It’s magic you see. You changed your reality.

Kindle Weird Tales for FREE

Can’t ever be a bad deal to get something for free. This weekend, Weird Tales for Kindle is FREE…..

Why not download it and maybe write a review?

Weird Tales – an Amazon Error

I discovered about a year ago that the listing for the Kindle version of Weird Tales had a typo on the authors name… it is listed under Dr. G. Micahel Vasey. Its a bit of a blow really because it means it doesn’t show up at all with the softcover book and so people don’t even know there is a Kindle version! Yes, I have told amazon multiple times about the mistake but have never heard a word back nor has it ever been changed. Nice eh?

Well, at less than $2 for the Kindle book, it’s not bad value and can be loaned as part of the Amazon lending scheme for Kindle for zero dollars! If you might be interested, you can find it here….

Books and Stuff

After finishing Inner Journeys: Explorations of the Soul (Thoth, 2005), I became obsessed with the hexagram as a symbol. My meditations were focused on it and whatever I read seemed to resonate with it – including books like Comte de Gabalis. For 5-years I continued thinking about, meditating on and exploring the hexagram and its relationship to the elements, the tarot, the tree of life, to alchemy and to astrology. Periodically, I sat and wrote. But for some reason, I could not finish the book. Whatever I wrote, it seemed not to capture adequately the mysteries of the symbol and it seemed the book would never be finished.

Initially, I sought information from other books that would back up what was coming through about the hexagram. In the end though, I gave this up. Much of what i found was the same material recycled over and over again and never really penetrating its true mysteries. In the end, I decided to rely on my own thinking; the information that was coming through via meditation and the odd eureka moment when puzzling over diagram after diagram that I drew of this shape. It truly was an obsession. Then, in 2010, I asked SC Vincent if she would help me with some diagrams and illustrations, test some exercises and edit it for me. She became the catalyst that I needed to finally complete the book as she wrote chapters and helped shape what would finally become The Mystical Hexagram: The Seven Inner Stars of Power (Datura, 2012).

Around the same time as I was beginning my obsession with the hexagram, I had an idea for a novel. I discussed it one night with my eldest son in a pub in London. He thought it was a great story and told me I should write it. I ended up writing 2-pages and left it on my PC as a small Word file. When the Mystical Hexagram was published I thought about that novel idea again and just before Christmas I opened that Word file and re-read what I had written. Four weeks later, I had completed my first novel. It wrote itself as they say and even I was surprised at how it ended! The Last Observer hopefully will be published also in 2012. The question is why did one book take 5-years to write and the other 3-weeks? Guess I will never know.

The Last Observer

The Last Observer is coming along quite nicely and seems to have a life of its own. 25,000 words already and probably halfway done. Already have a mainstream publisher interested in the novel too which is good.

The Last Observer is a tale of magic, alternative realities, murder and conflict. An ordinary man is abruptly dragged into a violent battle between black and white magicians because he has an imagination capable of co-creating reality. He soon learns that reality is not at all what it seems and that he will be called to play a decisive role in determining whose reality will prevail.

Hopefully, it will be out later this year.

It’s Not Over

There’s a place in your heart

It’s so cold, it breaks me apart

what’s the good

I know I should

But I don’t want it over

I don’t want it over

No, It’s not over….