Jennifer Slattery's Blog, page 39
April 5, 2018
The Result of Self-obsession
“You don’t have to be so down, you know.”
Perhaps I should’ve been offended, except I knew my husband was right. I’d been in a funk for a while. For no particular reason. Though I could’ve named numerous “causes”, I had to admit, I, not my circumstances, lay at the root of my gloom.
Bit by bit, one thought merging into another, I’d become self-obsessed, and it was making me miserable.
Our world tells us to focus on ourselves, to take care of number one, promising this is the key to happiness and fulfillment, but I’ve found the opposite to be true. The more I’m fixated on boring ol’ Jennifer Slattery—what I want or don’t want, what’s happened or hasn’t happened, what’s hard or disappointing—the more miserable I become. But when I take my eyes off myself, step out of my tiny little world and into someone else’s, the miraculous happens.
I experience joy. Peace. Fulfillment. And incredible intimacy with my Savior as He loves others through me. As some of you know, I routinely deal with pain and fatigue. When I was first diagnosed, I slipped into a funk, thinking of how difficult my days were and how unpleasant my condition.
[image error]For a while, I retreated further and further into my own, miserable world. That’s what self-obsession does—it inevitably leads to isolation, and often, bitterness soon follows. But then, I began to listen as others shared their struggles. Of arthritis. Cancer. MS. Clinical depression. And I realized, we’ve all got something, and in fact, many were suffering much more than I.
Over time, and by God’s grace, my view began to shift, and my world began to widen as love for others squelched my self-obsession. Allowing room for joy and contentment to grow.
In 1 Corinthians 10:24, Paul says, “No one should seek their own good, but the good of others” (NIV)
I’m convinced, not only is this a command and a tangible way to live out the great commission, but it’s also a huge piece of grabbing hold of joy.
Self-obsession is perhaps the most destructive, most insidious type of idolatry. There’s only one way to break this, and that’s by turning our view upward and outward—onto Jesus and those He loves.
I’ll still have down days on occasion, and there will be times when I regress to self-obsession, but I’m learning the more I lay my life—my wants, expectations, hurts and disappointments—down, the more I die to myself so that Christ may live unhindered through me, the more I experience the full and abundant life Christ died to give me.
*Please note, this post is not related to clinical depression. There are those with biochemical mental health challenges who need medical intervention. If that’s you, get help.
Let’s talk about this! Do you ever tend to self-obsess? What’s normally the result? Have you ever, while in the middle of a period of melancholy, focused on others? What happened? Share your thoughts and stories with us in the comments below, because we can all learn from and encourage one another!
Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version (R) Copyright (c)1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. (R) Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Before you go, I encourage you to sign up for my free, quarterly newsletter to receive short stories, devotions, recipes, and more sent directly [image error]to your inbox. When you sign up, you’ll also receive a free, 36-lesson study (ebook, sent separately) that springs from 1 Timothy You can sign up HERE. And make sure to visit me at JenniferSlatteryLivesOutLoud to read more encouraging messages from myself and other authors. You can find my site HERE! I also encourage you to visit Wholly Loved Ministries for more inspirational messages that can help you discover, embrace, and live out who you are in Christ. You can find us HERE!
And some fun news! Coming soon:
Dancing in the Rain:
[image error]On the verge of college graduation, Loni Parker seeks employment as a music teacher, but no one will hire her since she’s blind. Or so she thinks. To take her mind off her troubles, her roommate invites her to spring retreat at Camp Hope in the gorgeous North Carolina mountains. Unbeknown to Loni, Michael Ackerman, the director, is an ex-con responsible for the accident that caused her blindness. When Loni warms up to camp and wants to return as a summer counselor, Michael opposes the idea, which only makes Loni want to prove herself all the more. Though she doesn’t expect to fall for the guy. Still, her need for independence and dream of teaching win out, taking her far away from her beloved Camp Hope . . . and a certain director.
Camp director Michael Ackerman recognizes Lonie instantly and wants to avoid her at all costs. Yet, despite the guilt pushing him from her, a growing attraction draws him to the determined woman. She sees more with her heart than the average person does with his eyes. But her presence also dredges up a long-buried anger toward his alcoholic father that he’d just as soon keep hidden. When circumstances spin out of control, Michael is forced to face a past that may destroy his present.
Releasing the first week of June!
March 29, 2018
When God Says Give Up
Image by Abbie Bernet on Unsplash
I’ve tried running my life, and it landed me in a mess. The more I fight for control, the more that which I’m fighting for begins to control me. But surrender …
My guest today, novelist and pastor Nathan D. Maki, shares how God called him to give up something he held dear, and what resulted from that. Read his thoughts then share yours in the comments below.
***
Have you ever felt like giving up? Sure you have. Exhausted by the race, flattened by the burden, devastated by the loss…we all hit the wall at some point. If I can be perfectly candid, I’ve been teetering on the edge of giving up writing. Between pastoring a small church, managing a business to pay the bills, and being husband and father to my wife and son the thought of releasing one thing – my writing – is seductive.
“It’s more of a hobby anyway,” I told myself. “It’s not really taking off or paying off for the amount of work and time involved. Maybe you’re a hack anyway.”
Yes, that kind of uplifting, positive self-talk.
But then God told me to give up.
God told me to give up my selfish struggle for success. To relinquish the dream of quitting my day job and just writing and pastoring till He comes or my days end. To give up this book, The Keeper’s Crown. As a symbol of that surrender, he told me not to put a penny of its profits in my pocket.
I’ll be honest, that wasn’t easy. This book is my baby that I’ve worked on for three years hoping it would be my break-out novel. A year ago, when I was still querying agents and dreaming of a deal with a major publisher it probably would have been unthinkable. But God had brought me to a place of surrender. Of giving up. And instead, I gave it to Him.
And you know what? As soon as I agreed to give up peace settled over me. It’s like my whole perspective changed in that moment, and I suddenly realized that I’d [image error]become jaded because I was measuring success all wrong. I was measuring in copies sold and dollars and cents, in fame and recognition, in book deals and all the rest. But that’s not how God measures success. In fact, that’s what The Keeper’s Crown is all about, how to measure Godly success – which the Apostle Paul would say is simply obeying what God tells you to do, regardless of the results. I guess I’d kind of forgotten that until God smacked me upside the head at that altar on a Sunday morning not too long ago.
So half the proceeds of this book are going to Hope for Orphans, an orphanage my parents started in a little village in Congo. Half to our church’s breakfast fund, where my wife and our ladies have been serving disadvantaged kids a hot breakfast every Sunday for the past 8 years. That’s what God asked. Jesus sure does love the little children.
The Keeper’s Crown and my writing career are God’s hands now, and looking back through the Scriptures, that’s an exciting thought.
[image error]God asked a man named Abraham to give up his son Isaac, and he not only received his son back alive but became the Father of the Faithful. (Genesis 22:2)
God asked a nervous wreck named Gideon to give up the safety of his winepress, then turned him into a warrior who brought safety to his entire country by driving out the invaders. (Judges 6 and 7)
God asked three young Hebrew captives in Babylon to give up their lives to the furnace and then brought them out unscathed to make a believer out of King Nebuchadnezzar. (Daniel 3)
God asked a handful of fishermen to give up their ships and nets, and they founded the Church. (Mark 1:16-20)
God asked Paul to give up his freedom, and he preached to the Emperor of Rome and converted even those of Nero’s household and his Praetorian Guard. Paul gave up his life, but attained a victor’s laurel and immortality. (2 Timothy 4:7-8)
What will God do with what I’ve given up? Only time will tell, but I’m crazy excited to find out!
What is God asking you to give up? And how will you answer?
***
[image error]Check out Nathan’s novel, The Keeper’s Crown!
Quintus
As a boy, he dared to fight Nero. Worse, he won.
Stripped of his family, the love of his life, and his self-respect, he sets out on a quest to win a victor’s crown, rescue his parents, and restore his family’s honor. But his path to glory in the restless province of Judaea is threatened by the corrupt governor Felix, the murderous priest Melechi, and most of all by the rabble-rousing Paul of Tarsus.
When Quintus finds himself in Rome chained to Paul all hope of a crown seems lost, but Paul’s example makes him question the true meaning of success. And why does Jael, the mysterious young Jewess who once saved his life, now respond with barely restrained flashes of hate?
Jael
The Romans took her father and her brother from her.
Now Jael vows to fight for her father’s faith, fulfill her brother’s oath, and avenge their deaths. But the further she travels with Paul and Quintus the more she feels torn. Can she follow her heart and still keep her vow?
Paul
He turned the world upside down.
Paul never expected to end his ministry in chains, but even still, he is determined to carry the gospel to Rome and the Emperor Nero himself. But what if those who need the gospel most are those closest to him?
As the Great Fire strikes Rome, fanning Nero’s persecution of the Christians to a white-hot fury, murderous secrets, impossible choices, and steadfast faith will lead to tragedy and triumph.
Grab a copy HERE.
Join Nathan on Monday, April 2 from 11-3 for a fun, Facebook launch party. There will be Q & A with yours truly, trivia and games, a virtual tour of Rome via pictures he took on his trip, hourly e-book giveaways, and two grand prizes of signed proof copy paperbacks (of only 5 proofs ever printed.) Plus, you’ll get to connect with other book lovers!
Get to know the author!
[image error]A life-long love for historical fiction and a passion to create high-intensity, realistic novels from a Christian world view has propelled Nathan Maki into his writing career. He is the author of the War Within series of novels set in Ancient Rome, and most recently The Keeper’s Crown, a novel of the Apostle Paul.
A recent trip to Rome to walk the ancient streets, explore the Catacombs, and stand in the Coliseum plunged Nathan even deeper into the ancient world he brings to life for his readers. Nathan’s novels combine the faith and romance of Francine Rivers’s Mark of the Lion trilogy with the action and adventure of Bernard Cornwell or Conn Iggulden. Nathan lives in Ontario, Canada, with his wife, son, and three very spoiled dogs. He pastors a church and manages his own business in addition to his writing. Sometimes he even sleeps.
Connect with Nathan online:
Follow him on Twitter: @NathanDMaki
Email him at: NathanDMaki(at)hotmail(dot)com
March 22, 2018
Revealing a Faith That Stands
Moms, what you do each day matters. How you live your faith, it matters. When you pray, turn to praise music, or simply power through—it matters.
They say children learn more about faith from watching us than they do from anything we might tell them. And though I think that’s probably true, I hope it’s not. Because there’ve been so many times I’ve messed up. Times when I’ve chosen selfishness over love, pride over forgiveness, and disobedience over surrender.
If left on my own, I would’ve completely messed our daughter up ten times over. But whenever my heart would begin to stray or deception set in, God would gently nudge me, saying, “This is the way, My daughter. Walk in it” (Isaiah 30:21). And because of that—because of Him—situations that could’ve destroyed our family and greatly hindered our daughter’s faith had the opposite effect.
The most memorable occurred when we were living in Louisiana. The year before, my husband had quit his job and we packed our things and headed south, far from the church and friends we’d grown to love, only to find our lives uprooted less than six months later.
I was angry, frightened, and confused, and began to withdraw within myself, so consumed with what was going on within me, I was completely oblivious to how my growing irritability and sadness affected everyone else.
[image error]Until one morning, while laying in bed, Bible spread open before me, I read Proverbs 14:1, which says, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down” (NIV). The moment I finished reading the verse, my daughter said, “Mommy?” and I looked up to find her standing in my bedroom doorway, watching me.
My heart wrenched as realization took hold. My daughter needed me, and she needed to see Jesus in me. She needed to see not only the faith that shouted hallelujahs on Sunday mornings or carted her off to Bible class. She needed to see the type of faith that could stand when it felt like the world was crumbling.
She needed to see what it looked like to lean on Jesus—that this Christianity thing was more than cheery slogans adults say to one another. She needed to see a real, living, steadfast faith, and our season of chaos offered the perfect opportunity.
From that morning on, I determined to behave differently. I was still sad and frightened. I was still angry over some of things that had happened, but instead of pulling within myself, I began to focus on Jesus. Dinner turned from times of tension and silence to prayers and family devotions. Bedtimes turned to faith discussions where we openly talked about what we knew to be true in the midst of all that was going on.
And as a result, our family grew closer and I believe, Jesus became all the more real to a young, impressionable, and equally frightened little girl who needed an unshakable faith to stand on.
Let’s talk about this! What are some ways you reveal enduring faith when life feels hard or uncertain? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below, because we can all learn from and encourage one another!
Before you leave, make sure to sign up for my free quarterly newsletter.
Subscribers receive [image error]great, free content sent directly to their inbox along with a free, 36-lesson study (ebook form) based on truths presented in 1 Timothy (sent separately). (If you signed up and haven’t yet received your free study, please contact me through this website so I can get that to you!) You can sign up HERE.
March 15, 2018
Heart Gunk — Making a Clean Break
Though my house has never reached hoarding capacity, there’ve been times my heart has. Sadly, I’ve been known to harbor offenses when God calls me to forgive, to rehash old hurts when God beckons me to heal, and to nurse all those ugly heart-cluttering sins like pride and selfishness when the Spirit works to purge them from me. Clutter, of any variety, has a way of piling up unexpectedly until one’s buried. This is true of my closet, office, and sadly, at times, my heart. Reading Donna Schlachter’s post below reminded me how necessary it is to engage in regular deep-cleaning.
Making a Clean Break
by Donna Schlachter
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Photo by Christopher Flynn on Unsplash
Boxes stacked to the ceiling blocked my way, and I gritted my teeth in frustration. After a long day of sifting through papers and files, I’d had my fill. I was ready to toss the whole mess into the trash.
A while back, my husband Patrick and I spent a weekend cleaning out a storage closet to make room for a bathroom renovation. We had thing we moved into the house more than three years before that we hadn’t looked in. Not once. Stacks of financial records going back to 1979, and college books from further back than that.
We accumulated stuff.
And that’s nothing compared to what we used to have. We’d already sifted through an eight by ten storage shed’s worth of things we couldn’t bear to part with before we moved. Papers we were sure we’d need again. Records we weren’t certain of but didn’t want to destroy. We got rid of a lot of clutter by calling up a local thrift store and holding a couple of yard sales.
While we now own less than before, my basement still wasn’t ready for the renovation. If I couldn’t move around down there, how could I expect workmen to carry in supplies and materials?
I might have reduced the junk in my storage room, but you’d never know by looking at it.
Our spiritual lives can be like that, too. We try to make changes. We stop a bad habit or curtail a destructive behavior. Maybe we even adopt spiritual disciplines or simplify our schedules. And yet our lives can look just as messy as before.
Needless to say, this can be very disheartening. It is for me. We invest time and energy, yet heart renovations take longer than we thought they would.
Our spiritual lives aren’t easy to clean up. In fact, by ourselves, we can’t succeed. Sure we can make positive changes. We can do some things different. But the truth is that without God, we can’t truly live as He desires.
On our own, none of us can say, “I have made my heart pure. I am clean and without sin” (Prov. 20:9). We must rely on God, because only He knows what changes are needed and only He has the power to bring them about. We must trust His judgment as to the timing and the process. Trying to change our behavior on our own won’t work since behavior is a symptom of a deeper issue. God knows what’s going on inside us. The real reason we’re clean, if indeed we have been made clean, is because of the free gift of grace and mercy, paid for by Jesus.
So the next time you think that making a heart-change—even a minor one—is up to you, think again. Think about what Christ did on the cross, how He rose from the dead, and the promises of God.
And then ask God what areas need to be addressed and how to go about doing that. He alone knows what needs to be done.
Spend time with God this week asking Him what you need to throw out and what behavior or attitude to adopt in its place. His answers might surprise you.
Lord, thank You for being patient with me as I seek to be made into Your image. Allow me to be a witness to Your grace and mercy, and mold me into what You need for the work of Your kingdom. Amen.
John and Mary in my novella, Train Ride to Heartbreak in the “Mail-Order Brides Collection” realized they needed to make a clean break in their lives, too. However, once committed to another in a loveless marriage, they meet and fall in love. Will they settle for duty and second-best, or will they step out in faith to encounter the promises of the Living God?
***
Let’s talk about this! How often do you pause to consider your heart? Can you share a time when you behaved in a way you wished you hadn’t and God used that moment to reveal a heart-issue? What happened? How did that experience grow you or draw you closer to God? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below, because we can all learn from and encourage one another!
Before you leave, make sure to sign up for my free quarterly newsletter.
Subscribers receive [image error]great, free content sent directly to their inbox along with a free, 36-lesson study (ebook form) based on truths presented in 1 Timothy (sent separately). (If you signed up and haven’t yet received your free study, please contact me through this website so I can get that to you!) You can sign up HERE. (After you subscribe, you should receive a welcome email with instructions on how to download the e-material. If you don’t receive that within 48 hours, please let me know through my contact page on this site.)
Give-away Fun!
Leave a comment to be entered to win a print (US only) copy of “Mail-Order Brides Collection”.[image error]
Mail Order Brides follows 7 brides as they meet their grooms for the first time—after they answer an ad for a wife.
A Train Ride to Heartbreak By Donna Schlachter
1895, Train to California
John Stewart needs a wife. Mary Johannson needs a home. On her way west, Mary falls in love with another. Now both must choose between commitment and true love.
Get to know Donna:
[image error]Donna Schlachter lives in Denver with husband Patrick, her first-line editor and biggest fan. She writes historical suspense under her own name, and contemporary suspense under her alter ego of Leeann Betts. She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers and Sisters In Crime; facilitates a local critique group, and teaches writing classes and courses. Donna is also a ghostwriter and editor of fiction and non-fiction, and judges in a number of writing contests. She loves history and research, and travels extensively for both. Donna is proud to be represented by Terrie Wolf of AKA Literary Management.
Visit her online: HiStoryThruTheAges
(Receive a free ebook simply for signing up for our free newsletter!)
On Facebook, and follow her on Twitter.
Scripture used is the NIV translation from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION (R), NIV(R), Copyright (C) 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.(R) Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
March 8, 2018
How Living in Grace Helps Us Guard Our Words
[image error]My words have gotten me into a heap of trouble. I’ve initiated and meddled in arguments I shouldn’t have, fought to be right rather than understand, and wreaked destruction in the name of self-defense.
Considering the consequences wrought from my careless, and often damaging, statements, one would think I’d have learned to guard my words. But though I’ve memorized, prayed, and recited verses addressing this issue numerous times, I continue to stumble.
Here’s why: I’ve been fighting the symptom instead of the cause.
Whenever my mouth (or keyboard) runs a muck, my pride’s at fault. The solution, then, is surrender—making Jesus, obedience to Him, and the intimacy that follows (rather than man’s opinion) my treasure.
Let me explain using Proverbs 18:2 as an example: “Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.”
Because we believe we know best, need to defend ourselves, or prove our point.
Often, this is triggered by fear (which, 90% of the time is rooted in pride)—fear of losing face or not getting something we want or hope for. But in our desire to elevate or defend ourselves, we can miss crucial unspoken “heart talk.”
Let me give an example. A while back, I engaged in a somewhat heated discussion with someone, one that revealed considerable miscommunication—things that were heard that were never said, statements taken out of context, and others extrapolated in confusing ways. Focused on the miscommunication, I attempted to unpack each one.
Remaining oblivious to the insecurities and wounds underlying it all and therefore only exacerbated the problem. Had I focused on the person’s heart more than their words, I could’ve responded with more wisdom and grace.
Reading through Proverbs 18, I thought of this interchange, and as I often do, of my propensity to talk myself into trouble. Only this time, I went deeper, to my heart. How, I wondered, could I respond differently the next time when, so often, my words tumble out before my brain catches up?
Evaluating the whys behind my behaviors, I came up with a list:
Recognize I don’t need to defend myself. When someone criticizes me, if their complaints are valid, acknowledge this and prayerfully consider [image error] ways I might change. Because living in grace means I’m in need of it. I’m broken and prone to sin and nowhere near who God would have me to be, and yet I’m accepted and deeply loved. This disarms my pride with humility as I recognize my need for Christ, and this in turn gives me the courage to grow.
Recognize God’s opinion and my obedience to Him is more important than man’s perception of me. When I base my identity in Christ and treasure intimacy with Him more than “saving face,” I don’t need to defend myself or prove a point.
When I begin to feel defensive, uncover the fear beneath, and then remind myself of who I am in Christ. He’s my defender, protector, perfect guide, and the One who holds my future in His hands.
Don’t own whatever’s not true. Simply disregard it, reminding myself of action steps one through three.
Finally, listen for the fears and insecurities behind my “opponent’s” words and address those before attempting to resolve anything external.
Relational conflicts can be messy, confusing, and cloaked in emotion and false perceptions. To resolve them grace-fully, putting a guard rail on my tongue in the process, I need to take time to go deep—to my and my opponent’s heart, surrendering my pride and resultant emotions to Jesus so that He can love that other person through me.
Let’s talk about this! How easy is it for you to guard your tongue? When considering times your words have gotten you into trouble, can you see similar “root causes” as I mentioned in my list? In the above, I suggested pride is often the root of our fears and fear is often the root of much conflict. Do you agree or disagree, and why so? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below, because we can all learn from and encourage one another!
Before you leave, make sure to sign up for my free quarterly newsletter.
Subscribers receive [image error]great, free content sent directly to their inbox along with a free, 36-lesson study (ebook form) based on truths presented in 1 Timothy (sent separately). (If you signed up and haven’t yet received your free study, please contact me through this website so I can get that to you!) You can sign up HERE.
March 1, 2018
Erecting Altars to Bolster Our Obedience
Photo by Liam Simpson on Unsplash
My life has been punctuated by a series of, “Are you serious, God?” moments—times when I want to pretend I didn’t hear Him, when I’m convinced He couldn’t possibly have uttered the command I’ve sensed. And there have been times, way too many, when I’ve been tempted to cloak a disobedient heart in excuses and rationalization.
That burning I felt within while reading that passage—that must have been heartburn. That jolt I felt in my spirit when my pastor gave that sermon—the stage lights must have hit me wrong.
But in this instance, God left no room for doubt, confirming His message numerous times through numerous sources, all in the span of a week. So, reluctantly and perhaps with a few tears, I obeyed.
For just over a week, after which time I started praying for guidance once again. Over the same issue God had so clearly advised me on, as if His instructions came with an expiration date.
They hadn’t. Obedience meant remaining fully engaged in the area He’d already shown me, until He told me different. Trusting, regardless of the delay, He would indeed do just that, should my assignment change.
I thought of my reluctant obedience dance with Christ as I was reading about Sarah and Abraham’s journey, recorded in Genesis 12. God gives them both a pretty drastic command—leave everything and everyone you’ve known, your homeland, and go. To a place you’ve never been.”
Abraham obeyed and he and his wife began the long, arduous trek to the Promised Land. Their journey wasn’t quick or easy. They traveled 600 miles to Haran, where they settled for a bit, then continued on another 400 miles to Shechem. It was here that Abraham built his first altar. (Gen. 12:8)
This sacred structure served three purposes: First, it was a place of intimacy where Abraham met with God. Second, by erecting this sacred
[image error]
Image by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
edifice of simple stone, Abram was taking ownership of the land and declaring to all God’s supremacy. And finally, this rockpile served as a tangible reminder of God’s promise and his commitment to obey.
When His faith wavered, God’s voice seemed distant, and the fulfillment of His promise delayed, Abraham could look back upon all the altars he’d erected and remember—the moment when God met with him personally and spoke words of blessing. The moment Abraham’s heart surrendered, and the resultant peace that swept through him. And the confident conviction that had strengthened his weary soul.
That altar and all the others he built following provided a tangible reminder of God’s faithfulness and care and Abraham’s commitment to follow. When difficulties tempted him to abandon the call and when insecurities caused him to doubt God’s promise, he could look back and remember, drawing strength and renewed faith from past encounters with the living God.
I’ve learned, if I want to stay strong in Christ and obedient to Him, I need to do the same. I need to fashion my own altars—notes tucked in my Bible and journal entries stored in my bookshelves. Concrete and irrefutable reminders of times when God spoke directly to my heart, issuing a call.
Like with the situation I mentioned early in this post. Perhaps if I hadn’t recorded God’s clear commands provided the week before, I could have rationalized them away. Or forgot them entirely. But regardless of what my temperamental heart longed to believe, I knew God had spoken, and I had determined to obey.
Let’s talk about this! Can you relate to the temptation I shared? When have you been tempted to discount or rationalize away God’s guidance? Have you ever wished His instructions came with expiration dates? How do you remain focused on “the call” when life becomes challenging or it feels like His promise has been delayed?
Share your thoughts, suggestions, and stories with us in the comments below, because we can all learn from and encourage one another!
Before you leave, make sure to sign up for my free quarterly newsletter.
Subscribers receive [image error]great, free content sent directly to their inbox along with a free, 36-lesson study (ebook form) based on truths presented in 1 Timothy (sent separately). (If you signed up and haven’t yet received your free study, please contact me through this website so I can get that to you!) You can sign up HERE.
February 22, 2018
What God Does in Our Waiting
Waiting on God–for an answer, guidance, or perhaps fulfillment of a dream or promise–can be frustrating and unsettling. It can test our faith and our perseverance. But as my guest today shares, it’s often in the waiting that God does some of His most beautiful, necessary, and delicate work.
What God Does in Our Waiting by Amanda Wen
Waiting—for anything—has never been my strong suit.
Maybe it’s because I’ve grown up in the microwave generation. Or maybe it’s my natural temperament; I come from a long line of not-so-patient people. Doubtless it’s partly sin nature. But as believers, we serve a God who not only rescues us, but also seeks to transform us and make us more like Jesus. Part of how He does that is by growing us in patience.
I’d heard several times that if you pray for patience, God will give you kids. In my case, that’s exactly what He did. Three kids in just under four years, to be precise. Naïve new mama that I was, I assumed that, because God blessed me with children, He would similarly bless me with patience. I assumed I would magically morph into the smiling, sunshiny mom I always expected to be, bursting with ideas for fun activities and craft projects, healthy meals and educational outings. The kind of mom who would never lose her cool or snap at her kids, and who would definitely—definitely—not turn into a screeching lunatic after her two-year-old scribbled a Sharpie mural all over the basement wall.
Unfortunately—and perhaps unsurprisingly—I’m not that mother. I don’t do crafts, our meals consist of mac and cheese more than I’d like, and I still snap more than I smile (though I’m really working on that last one). But motherhood has brought about a different kind of patience, one that God has quietly grown in me without my knowledge.
See, babies take time to grow. To develop. Nothing you do makes that happen faster. Each time I found out I was pregnant, the weeks and months ahead felt like an eternity. I had few couple health scares during pregnancy, scares that could only be resolved by “just wait and see.” God spent a total of twenty-seven months knitting my kids together in my womb.
Could He have done it faster? Absolutely. But He chose not to. He knew my husband and I needed time to prepare for parenthood. My babies needed time to grow. And one of the fruits of the waiting was a new willingness to be still and be patient with the Lord and watch Him work.
All that waiting was so very worth it.
When I began to pursue writing as a career, I learned quickly that if the publishing industry and a glacier were in a race, the publishing industry would win, but only by a nose. You send out queries…and you wait. You enter contests…and you wait. You submit to editors…and you wait. For weeks. Sometimes months, or even years. And nothing on your part speeds up this process. It just takes time.
To my surprise, this waiting hasn’t driven me insane like I thought it would. I’ve learned that, like babies, a career takes time to develop. Time to[image error] prepare me as a writer. Time to prepare the people who might read my work. Time to bring all the parts and pieces together into a beautiful masterpiece that only God can create.
Can He do it instantly? Of course He can. But it is for our best and his ultimate glory that he does not.
And so we wait.
God promises strength to those who wait. He promises his presence and assures us of his love. And He will use our wait—like He uses all things—to make us more like Jesus.
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Let’s talk about this! Are you in a season of waiting? What might God be doing in you during this time? Perhaps you’ve come out of a prolonged time of waiting. Looking back, can you see God’s hand in your waiting? If so, share that experience with us. Do you have a favorite Bible character that reveals God’s loving hand during a time of waiting? Share your thoughts, examples, and questions with us in the comments below, because we can all learn from and encourage each other!
Before you leave, make sure to sign up for my free quarterly newsletter.
Subscribers receive [image error]great, free content sent directly to their inbox along with a free, 36-lesson study (ebook form) based on truths presented in 1 Timothy (sent separately). (If you signed up and haven’t yet received your free study, please contact me through this website so I can get that to you!) You can sign up HERE.
Get to know Amanda!
Amanda Wen is an award-winning writer of contemporary inspirational romance. Her contest wins include first [image error] place in the 2016 ACFW First Impressions Contest, the 2017 Great Expectations Contest, and the 2017 Phoenix Rattler Contest. In addition to her writing, Amanda maintains an active and rewarding career as a freelance cellist. She lives in the Midwest with her husband and their three adorable Wenlets. Amanda is represented by Tamela Hancock Murray of the Steve Laube Agency.
Connect with her on Facebook, follow her on Twitter, and visit her online at her website, AmandaWen.com
February 15, 2018
Being a Friend Who Stays
Relationships are hard, messy, and at times, utterly frustrating. But they are also necessary. But as my guest, Nike Chillemi shares, we all need friends who will stay. Our friends that need that from us.
Being a Friend Who Stays by Nike Chillemi
To live of life filled with happiness, women must find and keep true women friends. You know what kind of friend that is. A bestie could be your biological sister, a cousin you grew up with, a college roommate, or someone you met later in life, perhaps on the job. She can and does keep a confidence. She’ll tell you if that “hot little red dress” isn’t the way to go, even if you envisioned it making your husband go crazy for you.
It’s even better if you have a small posse of true women friends in the faith. You need to have friendships with women that lift you up and encourage you to go higher in your relationship with the Lord. Do you have friends like this? Are you this kind of friend? It goes both ways.
“A friend loves at all times; And a brother is born for adversity” (Prov. 17:17, WEB).[image error]
However, what happens when a friend momentarily gets “stuck on stupid” or you do? You said something that triggered them or vice-versa? Many times, this is because one of you is having a bad day and the angst isn’t even about the friendship. It might be safer to become passive-aggressive, catty, or competitive with a friend than with the co-worker who just got the coveted promotion. If the bad mood blows over and one of you or both apologizes…nothing to worry about.
I used to be a first-class murmurer, a whiner and complainer. Believe me it became tiresome to my friends. The Lord has helped me grow in this area, but if something triggers me, I’ll start whining again. However, now that passes much more quickly, and I’m sure my friends are grateful.
What if your friend has become insensitive? If you recently lost your husband and a single friend says, “It’s going to be okay,” this is may feel as if she’s thrown a bucket of cold water on you. In that moment, the best thing to do is take a deep breath and say a quick prayer. She didn’t mean to hurt. If she repeatedly “encourages” inappropriately, give yourself some time to heal and talk to her about it later.
What happens when a friend becomes brusque and non-empathetic regarding something? It could be that she’s “Been there, done that, and has the tee shirt.” She’s “conquered” that thing, is beyond it, and she thinks you should toughen up. This could be because she doesn’t want to revisit the pain of those vulnerable feelings. While you are raw and feeling exposed may not be the best time to confront her. Find another shoulder to lean on. Then come back later to work things out with your friend.
You have to know when to address things and when to let them go, and which friendships to invest in and what ones God is calling you to end. Prayer can help determine that. But you don’t want to give up on a meaningful friendship. By the same token it’s not wise to stay in one, for old times sake, that has become toxic.
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Let’s talk about this! What are some ways you’ve intentionally held tight to your friendships? In what ways have your friends held tight to you? What’s one action step you can take from today’s post? Share your thoughts, stories, and examples in the comments below, because we can all learn from and encourage one another!
You may also enjoy:
How to Maintain (Imperfect) Friendships
If you enjoyed today’s post, I encourage you to sign up for my free, quarterly e-mailing! Subscribers receive [image error]great, free content sent directly to their inbox along with a free, 36-lesson study (ebook form) based on truths presented in 1 Timothy (sent separately). (If you signed up and haven’t yet received your free study, please contact me through this website so I can get that to you!) You can sign up HERE.
Get to Know Nike!
Like so many writers, Nike N. Chillemi started at a very young age. Her first major work was a Crayola, fully illustrated book she penned as a little girl (colored might be more accurate) about her then off-the-chart love of horses. Today, you might call her a crime fictionista with a humorous side. Her passion is crime fiction. She likes [image error]her bad guys really bad and her good guys smarter and better.
Nike is the founding board member of the Grace Awards and its Chair, a reader’s choice awards for excellence in Christian fiction. She has been a judge in the 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, and 2016 Carol Awards in the suspense, mystery, and romantic suspense categories; and an Inspy Awards 2010 judge in the Suspense/Thriller/Mystery category. Her four novel Sanctuary Point series (out of print), set in the mid-1940s has finaled, won an award, and garnered critical acclaim. The first novel in the Veronica “Ronnie” Ingels/Dawson Hughes series HARMRUL INTENT won in the Grace Awards 2014 Mystery/Romantic Suspense/Thriller/Historical Suspense category. She has written book reviews for The Christian Pulse online magazine. She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW) and John 3:16 Marketing Network. Find her online at her blog, connect with her on Facebook, and follow her on @NikeNChillemi.
[image error]Check out her latest release, Blood Speaks:
Veronica “Ronnie” Ingels, Brooklyn gal PI, waited a long time for the solitaire on her finger. When her sometimes boss, a shadowy figure and director of a secret government organization, offers a one-week bridal shopping vacay in Maryland she jumps at it.
Joined by bridesmaids, Sandra Daube and Bertha Dagney, Ronnie sets off for the village of Heritage Cove on Arrowhead Lake, Maryland. Their joyous stay at the rustic yet luxury Heritage Cove Inn is shattered by a murder with tendrils and a clandestine motive stretching back to the assassination of John Fitzgerald Kennedy.
It doesn’t take long for Ronnie and her gal-pals to become targets of the killer. It goes without saying, Taylor County Deputy Sheriff, Lieutenant Dawson Hughes leaves Texas to protect his bride-to-be. He’s joined by Sandra’s employer, conservative political activist Ben Cohen. No obstacle can keep Gabby Hayes look-alike Hoot Dagney from the side of Bertha, his new bride.
February 8, 2018
The Fruit of an Obedient Heart–How God Makes Much of Our Little
[image error]I felt ill-equipped and insufficient. Actually, I wasn’t supposed to be there at all. I planned to pop in, make sure all the volunteers had arrived and were good to go, then head off to another project I’d set up for the weekend.
But God had other plans, and it started—and perhaps ended—with my lack.
It was “Big Live” weekend, a time where the church I attended mobilized hundreds of people throughout the Metro to serve. As part of the leadership team organizing the event, I’d arranged numerous projects, one that included facilitating a “spa” night for women at a local shelter while other volunteers watched their children.
The idea seemed like a good one in the beginning, back in the planning stages when I envisioned a sizable group from my church, sitting around a table, giving mani-peds to these poor, broken women who were fighting addiction, healing, and learning how to parent.
But as the scheduled night approached, I began to worry. We were short on help. In fact, in the most crucial area, the actual spa portion, we didn’t have anyone.
Zero manicurists. Zero women who even felt comfortable pretending to be manicurists.
Simply myself—who routinely makes a mess of my nails whenever I attempt to paint them. And three others who’d come to watch children.
In other words, who also felt completely ill-equipped to paint other people’s fingernails. But as the women from the shelter began to arrive, one of the volunteers stepped up and said, “I’ll stay” (in the spa room). “I’m not very good at it, but I’ll stay.”
I could’ve hugged her. I may have squealed. But then, watching yet more women trickle in, and eyeing my very meager supplies, my moment of joy was replaced by sadness. I’d so wanted to spoil these women, to make them feel special. To give them an evening of pampering that would make them feel, but for a moment, as if they were truly at a spa. Or at the very least, beautiful.
And all I could think of was my lack. I didn’t have those smelly scrubs one rubs on women’s hands after they’ve soaked in rose-scented water. I didn’t even have the rose-scented water. I had dish soap. (And soon even that ran out.) I didn’t have nice-smelling lotion, emery boards or pumice to sooth their cracked and tired feet.
These ladies had been looking forward to a luxurious spa night, and I soaked their feet in plastic bowls filled with generic dish soap then dried them with whatever hand towels and dishrags the staff had managed to scrounge up.
I couldn’t paint beautiful designs. I could do base coats—though I messed that up. I could do simple flowers using toothpicks, but yep, I messed that up as well.
I was failing. And as I sat across from one of the ladies barely four months out of prison, having just rubbed her feet with an old tattered rag, I was ready to apologize. For the night, my blunders, the disappointment I know I must have caused her.
But before I could, she looked me in the eye with a grin so large it was contagious and said, “I feel like I’m at one of those fancy spas.”
Tears filled my eyes as I realized how little it took to make these women happy. To make them feel special. I’m sure they would’ve enjoyed the fancy lotions and hand massages. The pumice stones would’ve been nice. They would’ve oohed and ahhhed, had I known how to make fancy nail polish decorations.[image error]
But none of those things trumped what they needed most—love. Someone to look them in the eye and say, “I see you. You have value. God loves you.”
That is how God makes much of our little.
Let’s talk about this! When have you stepped out to serve or help someone and felt insufficient and ill-equipped? How did you handle that? What was the end result? When has God shown you, perhaps through your insufficiency, that your role was simply to love? Share your thoughts and examples in the comments below, because we can all learn from and encourage one another.
Visit John 6:1-14 to read another “When God Makes Much of Our Little” stories–this one told in Scripture.
If you enjoyed today’s post, I encourage you to sign up for my free, quarterly e-mailing! Subscribers receive [image error]great, free content sent directly to their inbox along with a free, 36-lesson study (ebook form) based on truths presented in 1 Timothy (sent separately). (If you signed up and haven’t yet received your free study, please contact me through this website so I can get that to you!) You can sign up HERE.
February 1, 2018
The Hardest Thing to Surrender
[image error]If God were calling me to a temporary fast, I could do it. Give up sugar? Ice cream? Television and technology? Foregoing those things wouldn’t be easy, but I could do it. But this, what God’s calling me to surrender, indefinitely, feels more harder than anything He’s asked of me before. This thing cuts to the core of my hopes and dreams, triggers insecurities and fear, and ultimately, reveals where my heart truly lies.
So what is this thing that God calls me, persistently, to relinquish?
Control.
My agenda. My time and my to-do list. Whatever I’m striving for that keeps me from saying, at each moment, “Not my will, but Yours, Lord Jesus, be done.”
When I’m sitting with my Bible, reading of His love and care, meditating on all He’s done for me, surrender comes easily. Or perhaps I should say, easier. “Take everything, Lord. And help me to obey You. Help me to give up everything to follow after You.”
But then the day begins, and pricks of selfishness weaken my resolve and hinder my obedience. My prayers sound more like complaints and long-winded requests than commitments to my Savior.
This is my greatest, most fervent and frequent battle—the battle against self, saturated in pride and selfishness.
But Christ calls me to love—not with the conditional, temporary, convenient love our world offers, but the kind He demonstrated when He stripped Himself of all His heavenly glory, took on flesh, and died in my selfish, prideful place. (Phil. 2:5-11)
For over a year now, I’ve been praying about some things, and He’s answered, but not in the way I expected. I’m looking ahead at all the lives I long for Him to touch through me, but His focus is zeroed in on something of utmost importance, something that enables great ministry to occur and true love to flow, and that’s my heart.
If I want to be used by God and touch lives for eternity, my life must be touched first by the transforming power of God, the God who shows me how to love, to surrender, and to give all of myself no matter the cost.
Even if it means surrendering everything I hold dear.
In Romans 12:1, Paul urges us to “offer [our] bodies as living sacrifices.” In other words, to live sacrificially for Christ, not just today, or when it’s urgent or convenient, but always. To put God’s agenda above our own.
This is the call. The first step to greatness, and it begins with a quiet, yet desperate plea, “Change me, Lord. Help me. Do whatever you need to
[image error]
image by Chalis on Unsplash
within me to make me pliable in Your hands, a cleansed and open vessel always and ready to do Your will and Your will only.”
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Let’s talk about this! Did anything resonate with you as you read today’s post? Is God asking you to lay down, or perhaps pick up, anything? What makes that hard? Share your thoughts and stories with us in the comments below, because we can all learn from each other!
If you enjoyed today’s post, I encourage you to sign up for my free, quarterly e-mailing! Subscribers receive [image error]great, free content sent directly to their inbox along with a free, 36-lesson study (ebook form) based on truths presented in 1 Timothy (sent separately). (If you signed up and haven’t yet received your free study, please contact me through this website so I can get that to you!) You can sign up HERE. I also encourage you to visit my blog on Crosswalk. Find out how to join me for one of my upcoming events HERE, and learn more about my speaking ministry HERE.
Scripture taken from the Holy Bible New International Version, Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.
