Jennifer Slattery's Blog, page 28
March 26, 2020
Risking Failure to Become All God Created You to Be
How many opportunities have you avoided, how many dreams have you never pursued, for fear of failure? Or perhaps you embraced that new challenge but then spent countless sleepless nights fretting over what might happen or what others might think when you didn’t measure up or succeed?
The summer before our daughter’s senior year in high school, she had some big decisions to make, decisions that could literally cost her tens of thousands of dollars. She’d been working tirelessly for an academic scholarship, and through sheer grit stood a good chance of attaining it. She knew she could take an easy course load and preserve her GPA, perhaps even improve it. Or she could challenge herself by taking advanced placement math and science classes.
Back then, none of us realized she had an undiagnosed learning disability. But we did know how time consuming and difficult school was for her. She often took twice as long as other students to complete homework and taught herself, through online videos, what other students managed to learn through lecture.
So, basically, we all knew, by taking these classes, she could easily fail. Worse, her failure would cost her a regency—a full academic scholarship for all four years. To a seventeen-year-old on a reasonable allowance, that felt like a lot of money. Uncertain of what to do, she came to my husband and I for advice. To her frustration, I’m sure, we didn’t give her any, except to encourage her not to base her decision on fear. Though we understood the consequences, should she fail, and how devastated she’d be, we also knew she’d suffer more in the long run by becoming risk adverse. We didn’t want her to go through life tiptoeing forward, looking for that next drop off or dead end. We wanted her to proceed with confidence, viewing every setback and roadblock as a learning opportunity.
With a lot of tears, an unseen amount of hours, and a great deal of stress, she passed all of her classes and received that long-coveted regency. But this accomplishment, initially celebrated, soon enslaved her. Once in college, she quickly discovered all the adaptations that had carried her through high school no longer worked. Despite how hard she was trying, despite all the sleepless nights she spent studying, her grades were slipping fast.
As a result, she tried harder, acquiring shingles twice in her first two years away from home.
One day, watching her emotional angst, I looked her in the eye and said, “I kind of hope you’ll fail. I want you to see that failing isn’t the end of the world.”
I reminded her of Ephesians 2:10, which says, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
She was, and is, God’s “handiwork,” His masterpiece, being molded by her loving Creator, who was shaping her in Christ to[image error] do precisely what He created her to.
In other words, God had a plan for her, one He set into motion before she took her first breath. A plan He assigned knowing every challenge, set back, and momentary “failure” she’d face. She didn’t have to have it all figured out or tackle every difficulty perfectly. She wouldn’t and couldn’t. Rather, she needed to keep her eye on Christ and her heart surrendered and obedient to Him. I knew, so long as she did that, He’d take care of everything else. He would complete all that concerned her. (Ps. 138:8)
I wanted her to experience the freedom that comes when we learn to view failure differently. I knew she’d still work hard. That’s in her nature. But I wanted her to do so with joy and peace rather than stress, fear, and striving.
She did lose that scholarship, and though at first this crushed her, she recovered. She bounced back. In fact, she’ll graduate this spring with a degree that challenged her every brain cell and last ounce of grit. A degree some told her she’d never earn. And for four years, especially on those days when her learning disability seemed insurmountable, part of her wondered if all those naysayers were right.
I imagine there were many times she debated giving up, doing something easier, something safer, something with little to no risk.
She held tight to God’s promise in Ephesians 2:10 knowing He had a plan for her, was working out that plan, and would perfect all that concerned her.
Today, less than two months before her graduation, I’m wondering …
What if she’d taken those easier classes in high school? What other “easy” and “safe” decisions would they have led to?
What if, when others tossed doubt on her resolve, she’d quit, midway through college, and opted for her second or third career choice?
But perhaps most importantly, what if the resolve and courage built with every difficult step prepared her for all the uncertainties ahead and all God has in store for her?
What if embracing risk led to her greatest growth and strength?
What if our saying yes and embracing risk does the same for us?
Let’s talk about this! Is God asking you to embrace risk for Him? If so, what? And how can you step into that today?
When has risk initiated personal growth?
If you’re following the Faith Over Fear challenge, congrats! We’ve made it to week eight! Woohoo! (Please note, I noticed I uploaded the wrong questions and notes to the wrong week. You can find all the shownotes and questions, with Bible references, HERE.)
Connect with Jennifer Slattery on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, join her private Faith Over Fear Facebook Group, [image error]listen to the first two episodes of her Faith Over Fear podcast HERE and find her free Bible reading plan HERE.
Additional resources:
Rhinestone Jesus: Saying Yes to God When Sparkly, Safe Faith is No Longer Enough by
by Kristen Welch
Say Yes to God Journal by Lysa TerKeurst
What Happens When Women Say Yes to God: Experiencing Life in Extraordinary Ways by Lysa TerKeurst
March 19, 2020
Letting Go of the Need to Control – Guest Post
Lately, our world seems completely out of control. When I focus on all the chaos, I worry about our economy, about loved ones, about my daughter and son-in-laws college classes … in short, about a lot. But then I remember truth, and that truth grounds mean. If you find your thoughts pinging in a thousand different directions and your heart longing for control, I hope my friend Melanie Redd’s post below encourages you.
Letting Go of the Need to Control
Melanie Redd
It’s true… I really hate being the passenger in any car.
When my husband and I first got married, he was usually the one to drive. This was a change for me. I’d not ridden as a passenger as much since I was a child.
This was when I realized that I liked being the driver more than the passenger.
Later, as our children began to learn to drive, I really struggled with not being in the driver’s seat. (If only the passenger seat had a steering wheel and brakes!)
In the past few years, I’ve had the opportunity to ride along with several friends and family members as they’ve driven us places. Once again, I’ve struggled with allowing others to drive while I helplessly watch from the back seat or the passenger side.
What is my hang-up with being a passenger?
Why does this bother me so much?
Because I like being in control of the car. Truly, I want to be the one to steer the car, pump the brakes, determine the speed, and control the trajectory of the vehicle.
And, if I’m being honest, my desire to be in control goes well beyond driving. I like to be in control of everything in my life. Maybe you do as well?
The older I get, however, the more I realize that absolute control is impossible. In fact, if we try to carefully control every single detail of our lives, we can go quite crazy!
So, what can we do with control issues?
How can we more reasonably and wisely live with things we cannot control?
I’ve found great comfort in the words of a prayer that hung on the wall in my grandmother’s house – beautifully needlepointed.
It’s called the Serenity Prayer, and it reads like this:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Yes. This prayer is used in AA meetings around the world.
But it applies to all of us. Indeed, all of God’s children like to feel like they have some control in their lives.
To assist us, let’s break down this prayer into three sections:
First, we can ask God to give us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change.
Serenity is an old-fashioned work for peace, calm, tranquility.
It’s a sense of well-being about our lives. To be serene is to keep your composure when things feel out of control.
What are some of the things you and I cannot change?
Other people
Our bosses
The weather
Our pastor
Our children
Our spouse
The past
The future
So many more things
Once we realize that only God can truly change hearts, we will quit trying to fix, change, and coerce the people and circumstances around us.
There is sweet freedom in letting go of the need to control everyone and everything! Sweet freedom.
One of my favorite authors, Amy Carmichael, explained it this way. “In acceptance, lies peace.”
Second, we ask God to give us the courage to change the things we can.
Courage is tenacity. It’s that quality of spirit that pushes us forward in bravery and hope. To be courageous is to audacious![image error]
Joshua 1:9 encourages us, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” (ESV)
And, courage is a choice. It is a willful action on our part.
What can we change and control in our own lives?
Our clothing choices
What we eat and drink
What we do
How we live
How we respond to others
How we spend our time
Whether or not we exercise
How we relate to God
What we say
How we think
And, so much more
Absolutely, there is so much we can choose to control in our lives.
But we must choose. And, often we must choose with great courage.
Why not ask God to give you the courage to make some life-altering and life-sweetening changes this week?
Third, we can ask God to give us the wisdom to know what we can and cannot change.
This final part of this prayer may be the most difficult. Honestly, it may be at the heart of our control.
Indeed, this may be the hardest part of this whole process.
And, this is where prayer comes in. I think of the words of James 1:5, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” (ESV)
When we don’t know how to proceed in a situation or a relationship, we can pray and ask God to give us wisdom, insight and discernment.
For years I dealt with a close female relative who I wanted to please. I worked like crazy to make her happy. Through gifts, words, phone calls, and actions, I tried to make this person love and accept me.
Finally, one day after praying over this relationship, a very wise friend helped me to realize that I was never going to make this relative change. No matter what I did, she was not capable of becoming the kind of person I hoped she could become.
Accepting that my relative would never change brought such freedom to my life.
Now, I expect nothing from this person. And, I’m able to just love her without any demands. This particular choice has changed everything in our relationship – especially me!
I believe all of us can find freedom in accepting what we cannot change. Truly, in laying down our expectations and demands, we can find great peace.
It’s not an easy thing to do, but it can be incredibly liberating!
What about you?
Are you the kind of person who also likes to be in the driver’s seat?
Do you struggle with control?
How does the Serenity Prayer help you? Which part is most challenging for you to practice? How have you found peace in surrendering control?
***
Let’s talk about this! Share your thoughts with us in the comments below, because can all learn from and encourage one another. If you’re struggling with finding peace and standing on faith in our seemingly out-of-control world, listen to my latest podcast episode Fear of Losing Control: Courage to Surrender with International Speaker Carol Kent. Find it HERE.
Get to Know Melanie
[image error]Melanie is a Christian blogger, Motivational Speaker and Author. She’s written four books and has a brand-new book – Live in Light: 5-Minute Devotions for Teen Girls.
She’s married to Randy for the past 29 years and serving alongside him in ministry.
Additionally, she’s mom to two awesome young adults.
God’s grace never ceases to amaze her.
You can find out more about Melanie & her ministry at www.melanieredd.com.
You can connect with Melanie here:
Aditonal Resources:
Jennifer’s Faith Over Fear Bible Reading Plan
Changing the World Through Surrender
March 12, 2020
Fear No More–Finding Eternal Significance in Christ
In my young adult years, I wasted so much energy, so much peace, trying to prove my worth. Driven by a hidden fear of insignificance, I chased after one goal after another and defined myself by external and subjective standards. As a result, I developed a rather shallow sense of purpose and believed the lie that I was what I did. Therefore, my heart inevitably shifted toward pride or insecurity, and it often bounced between the two numerous times each day.
But then, sickness temporarily robbed me of my ability to perform all those tasks I thought defined me. Roles shifted rapidly in our home as the caretaker became the one receiving care. There were days I felt worthless, like a burden and a drain. I hadn’t learned to live anchored in my Christ-centered identity.
It took temporarily losing myself—who I thought I was—to recognize and rest in where my true significance lay. One afternoon, battling pain and fatigue, I asked God, in frustration, why He wouldn’t heal me. After all, couldn’t I serve Him better well—strong and energetic? Just imagine all the studies I could lead, the women I could mentor, the outreach events I could help plan!
But as I sat in His presence, He spoke heart-soothing truth to my soul. He hadn’t created me to launch ministries, raise perfect children, or even to embark on oversea missions. Now, He may indeed call me to do those things, but that wasn’t why He gave me breath. Instead, He formed me by His loving hands for His pleasure and His glory. That’s where my true significance lies—in Him—and I can live that out, no matter my circumstances or limitations.
When I was sick, that meant sitting in His presence every day and connecting, Father to daughter, and knowing in those moments, that was enough. I didn’t have to perform, impress, strive, or to stress. I simply needed to live loved and to love God and others in return.
As a mom, I get this. I’m crazy proud of my daughter, of all she’s accomplished and overcome, but her external achievements aren’t what bring me greatest pleasure. Rather, my heart fills with joy whenever she turns off her phone, sets her agenda aside, and simply sits with me. Those are the moments I cherish most. She doesn’t have to impress me or present a polished image of herself. She doesn’t have to check off numerous sacrificial tasks to enter my presence. She simply needs to come, and when she does, I welcome her near. In fact, were she to forfeit time with me to achieve what she hoped might impress me, I’d be saddened.
I suspect God would say the same. Though He longs for our obedience, of course, and for us to live our lives surrendered to Him, He desires us most of all. He paid a high price—death on the cross—to remove the sin that separated us and to draw us close. Ephesians [image error]1:5 says, “God decided in advance to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what He wanted to do, and it gave Him great pleasure” (NLT, emphasis mine).
Can anything be more glorious, more fulfilling, more significant than that—to bring all mighty God, Creator and Ruler of all, pleasure? According to Scripture, that’s precisely what we did the moment we received Christ’s grace.
During my time of illness, as I daily rested in Him, simply connected with Him, I sensed and echoed His pleasure. I received pleasure not from anything God had done or might do but simply through my union with Him.
During those soul-to-Christ encounters, God reminded me of my second yet equally important purpose—to make Him known. Though I’d always assumed I did that best through some grand act of service, perhaps leading Vacation Bible School or speaking from a stage, He helped me see how my weakness, my steady leaning on Him, could provide the purest proclamation of the gospel.
God wasn’t asking me to be a super-hero Christian displaying super-human strength. Rather, He was asking me to demonstrate a super-hero, ever-present, ever-loving God able to carry me through every struggle and triumph. That’s what it means to bring Him glory. The gospel is most clearly revealed through our dependence on Him, and sometimes that dependence shows clearest when we feel as if our significance, at least as our culture might define it, has slipped away.
My identity is in Christ—I am loved by and belong to Him, and that will never change.
My significance is in Christ—He defines my worth and assigns my purpose.
What’s more, my purpose is to know Christ and make Him known, and I can do that when well, when sick, when energetic, and when tired.
Let’s talk about this! In what ways have you allowed your identity, value, and purpose to become tangled? Have you based your significance on the roles you fill or tasks you perform? How might God be calling you to go deeper—in Him? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Connect with Jennifer Slattery on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, join her private Faith Over Fear Facebook Group, listen to her Faith Over Fear podcast HERE
Additional resources:
What Makes My Life Significant by John Piper
Finding Significance in Christ by Abiding Above Ministries
Who Am I? A New Way to Define Identity by Melissa Crutchfield
Visit Jennifer’s Faith Over Fear page for more faith-building resources
March 5, 2020
Fear of Missing Out–Finding Faith in God’s Leading
Thirteen years ago, as we packed our minivan from top to bottom to move literally across the country, I felt as if I was losing myself. I thought my dreams, which God had slowly birthed within me as I served in a close-knit Southern California church, would languish then die.
Ten years later, when one transition after another crippled an organization I wrote for, my journey once again felt unsteady. Fearful to lose something that brought such fulfillment, I began striving and stressing and fighting to control every area of my career. As a result, every opportunity left me with more confusion than clarity, more exhaustion than hope or joy.
It felt as if I was standing at a main trail head with a thousand paths extending before me trying to discern which one would lead to my desired destination. And in my inability to make a decision, to rest in my Father’s loving and faithful arms, I chose them all, or at least, as many as I could, inevitably forfeiting my joy, peace, and effectiveness.
Ironically, my fear of missing out—of that perfect opportunity or experience or role—caused me to miss out on those things that truly mattered. Eventually, everything became stressful and burdensome, like I was constantly kicking against high tide.
Defeated and discouraged, I told God I was tired of the work, of the stress, and the pressure. I told Him I wanted to quit.
He agreed, though He didn’t want me to quit writing and serving. He wanted me to quit striving. He wanted me to rest in Him. To trust that He had a plan and was big enough and strong enough and loving enough to bring that plan to pass.
He’s strong enough to perfect all that concerns me, all that concerns my loved ones, and all that concerns the women I serve.
Like Psalm 139:16 promises, “all the days ordained for me were written in [His} book before one of them came to be” [image error](NIV).
If I believe this to be true, for me and those I love, I have no reason to fear or to strive. I simply need to listen, surrender, and obey.
Whenever I begin to feel exhausted and overwhelmed, whenever I’m tempted to chase after that next shiny or exciting thing, I have to ask myself why. Because I’ve self-analyzed enough to know there’s almost always something deeper going on—some hole I’m hoping to fill, wound I’m trying to numb, or fear I’m trying to avoid.
True peace comes when I humbly pray, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24, NIV).
Search me: Penetrate to my depths, to those deepest, most hidden parts of me. Expose my self-deception and faulty perception and flood every shadowed crevice within my heart with Your truth-bearing, lie-expelling light.
Know my anxious thoughts: Reveal to me what I’m really thinking and those nagging lies that fuel distrust. Lies such as: God doesn’t care, doesn’t hear, or lacks the desire and power to lead me and those I love.
Lead me in the way everlasting: Purge everything false, everything hurtful or idolatrous, so that Your faith-bolstering truth may reign. Lead me in Your way, for only You and the things of You are eternal, and only You know how to feed and fill my heart.
Let’s talk about this. How often does fear of missing out—the fear that you or someone you love will miss out on something—drive your behavior?
For example, fear that:
turning down that extra project will cost you that promotion
not signing your child up for that traveling sports team will cost them popularity and social connections
declining that invitation will place you on the outskirts of your peer group
setting boundaries in that relationship will prevent you from getting married or having a family
should you prioritize financial wisdom over that vacation, the opportunity may never come again
But perhaps an even better question: Are you living like a called, empowered, and loved child of the sovereign God or like an orphan?
What is one truth you can meditate on this week to live more consistently as God’s chosen and deeply loved child and move deeper into freedom?
Additional resources:
Four Ways to Fight Fear of Missing Out by Jon Bloom
Have No Fear of Missing Out by Fabienne Harford
Countering Fear of Missing Out by Jennifer Slattery
Visit Jennifer’s Faith Over Fear page HERE for additional resources.
Let’s talk about this! Do you struggle with a fear of missing out, and if so how? How does remembering Christ is control and has a plan for you help you move from fear to faith.
Connect with Jennifer Slattery on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, join her private Faith Over Fear Facebook Group, [image error]listen to the first two episodes of her Faith Over Fear podcast HERE and find her free Bible reading plan HERE.
Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.
Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.comThe “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.
February 27, 2020
Conquering Our Fear of Weakness
I don’t like to appear weak or needy. In fact, I will go to great lengths to avoid this and to portray an image of strength, even in the face of weakness. I suspect some of this comes from my slightly stubborn and determined personality. But honestly, most of my insecurities stem from fear and pride. I’m afraid my weaknesses might somehow disqualify me from some future opportunity and might cause others to lose their respect for me.
I didn’t realize I had a fear of weakness until I became physically weak. Some of you know my story—how I grew sick in 2011. And while I’m so much better than I was, I’m still far from the athlete I once considered myself to be. Sometimes, oftentimes, actually, I’m afraid to admit why: I have fibromyalgia, though I hide my symptoms well. I’ve learned to smile through the pain and shake off the fatigue—until I come home. There, nestled in the security of my husband’s love, my true and often hurting self emerges.
Like I indicated, my insecurities stem from a fear of missing out. Of being labeled by my weaknesses rather than my strengths. Of being discounted before I even try. Of having to fight not just my inherent limitations, but other people’s false perceptions as well. In short, my fears stem from a failure to rest in God’s sovereignty and grace.
One hot, summer afternoon, I sensed God’s nudge to share how He’d met me in my struggle—how He became my strength during a time of weakness. But out of fear and shame, I remained quiet. As I explained to God why—all I feared might happen should I step out from behind my carefully erected veneer, He reminded me of a faith-bolstering truth.
He’d called me. Long before I took my first breath, committed my first sin, ran my first triathlon, or acquired my first illness. Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (NIV). This means God has a plan for me and my life, a wonderful, eternally significant plan. That plan absolutely must include my current condition, because He set His plan into motion before my diagnosis. What’s more, Psalm 139:16 tells me that every day of my life was recorded in God’s book before a single one came to pass.
But the original Hebrew goes deeper. It says, in essence, “All the days fashioned, or molded into form, for me …” Combined with Ephesians 2:10, this creates an image of a patient, loving, intentional craftsman molding a pliable, not yet perfected lump of clay into His masterpiece. The pushing, squeezing, and molding hurts, absolutely. But never without purpose. Never without hope.
My condition cannot limit the call God’s placed on my life. It may, in fact, reveal that call more clearly. Though I don’t believe He gave me fibromyalgia, He can and will use it to reveal the gospel. As I lean on Him, the only One able to bring[image error] strength from my weakness, I proclaim a God bigger than everything hard, broken, tarnished, and incomplete in this world. And as I long for restoration and health, He lifts my heart to thoughts of eternity where He’ll one day make all things right. Where there will be no more pain, no more sickness, no weakness or sin. Nothing but light and life and love as we, God’s children, stand in the presence of the One who is light and love.
So in the meantime, I serve, honestly, faithfully, and authentically, focusing not on how others perceive me but rather how I reveal my God.
Fear of weakness, at its root, is an idolatry problem. It stems from a failure to lose myself completely in my Lord, the One who gave Himself completely for me. I conquer this fear not through fighting for strength but rather choosing surrender. Choosing to lose myself in a battle greater than me.
Let’s talk about this! When has your weakness caused you to rely on God and therefore turned to a strength? When has your strength resulted in self-reliance and therefore turned to a weakness?
Connect with Jennifer Slattery on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, join her private Faith Over Fear Facebook Group, [image error]listen to the first two episodes of her Faith Over Fear podcast HERE and find her free Bible reading plan HERE.
Additional resources:
Moving Past Self-Sufficiency, video presentation from Wholly Loved’s Becoming His Princess Bible study.
Don’t Fear Weakness by Bear Grylls
February 25, 2020
Faith Over Fear is Now Live
[image error]We’ve been waiting, or at least, I’ve been waiting. Salem Web Communications has released the first two episodes of my Faith Over Fear podcast. God showed up so much in my life as I worked through this podcast series, and He’s created a beautiful movement of freedom. As I researched each topic, He sparked such a passion in my heart to share all He was teaching me. As I spoke with guests and contemplated my own story, I remembered how it felt to live enslaved. But more than that, I celebrated all the ways God’s brought me increased freedom, and I wanted to share potential freedom-gaining steps with others.
So, I launched a social media campaign and private Facebook group, and my heart has been so full. I’m seeing God work, seeing His children support and encourage one another, seeing veils drop, and seeing people take huge leaps toward freedom.
We were not created to live in fear. God’s got way too much for us to do. We’re called, commissioned and empowered to change lives. Fear hinders our calling, but it doesn’t have to, because in Christ we have everything we need to live victoriously.
Take a listen to my first episode, maybe gather some friends around you to talk to through the discussion questions, and if you believe others would find the truths discussed helpful, I’d be so very blessed if you’d share the episode with those in your circle.
Listen HERE.
Join the private FB group HERE.
February 20, 2020
Fighting Fear of Rejection With the Truth of Christ
Writers experience a great number of rejections, and some of those can be pretty harsh. Though I know to expect these “no thank yous,” seeing them stream through my inbox can leave me stunned. If I’m not careful, I can begin to question my abilities, my calling, and really, myself. We do that, don’t we? We own every negative experience, holding each one as proof that we’re somehow insufficient or defective.
A while back, after receiving numerous declines in a row, I shared my disappointment with my daughter. “But you’ve also received a lot of acceptances,” she said. I know she meant to encourage me, and for a moment, it did, but I knew my assurance needed to go much deeper. My confidence and value can’t be based on such transient standards as [image error]temporary wins and losses. To rise above my fears, I must anchor myself, immovable, in the One who knows me, loves me, sees me, goes before me, has a plan for me, and remains with and in me.
A while back, God reminded me of this truth during a rather discouraging time. For about a year, it had felt as if I’d been turned down for every opportunity I pursued, even those I felt certain had been God led. The first rejection didn’t phase me too much. The second stung, but I determined to keep moving. By the third and fourth experience, however, lies I’d thought I’d long buried began to reemerge, assaulting my weakening heart, “You’re unwanted. You’re not good enough. Insufficient.”
Those lies can be really hard to silence sometimes, can’t they? They’d long held me captive, and normally would’ve plunged me into an all-day, if not longer, gloom. But not this time. As I sat there, initially feeding all those deceptive and toxic thoughts, I sensed God’s whisper, urging me to turn to truth, my most powerful weapon against all fear, fear of rejection included. And so I did.
Bible opened to Ephesians 1, I began to read. More than that, I soaked in every word, claiming each as my own. Through that passage, God spoke so clearly, reminding me of who I was. Though I felt rejected and discarded, insufficient, the Bible promised that was far from reality. Instead, I was and am God’s holy child (v. 1), blessed with every spiritual blessing (v. 3) chosen (v. 4) loved and adopted (v. 5), redeemed and lavished in grace.
But here’s my favorite verse: “In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will” (v. 11).
God, my Creator and redeemer, the One who promised to perfect that which concerns me (Ps. 138:8), works all things, my life included, according to His will. Therefore, when opportunities don’t arise or are denied, when others don’t appreciate my skills or my gifts, that doesn’t mean I’m insufficient or rejected. Rather, it indicates God has something else in mind. He’ll show me precisely what that something is, in His way and His timing.
Because He loves me.
What’s more, I can trust Him. I can trust His heart, His wisdom, His power, and His plan. And in the waiting, I can choose to receive the love and grace, the acceptance and equipping, He’s lavished freely upon me through His Son.
[image error]I am far from insufficient. So are you. We are loved, redeemed, empowered, and called children of Christ destined for impact.
Additional resources:
Overcoming Fear of Rejection (video presentation, by Jennifer Slattery)
Learning to Shake of Rejection to Live in Freedom
If you struggle with fear of rejection and other fears, make sure to join Jennifer’s social media group, Faith Over Fear. You can find it HERE. You can find additional faith-building resources HERE. And keep an eye out for her Faith Over Fear podcast, releasing soon!
February 13, 2020
When Anxiety Tries to Win
When I’m feeling anxious, which is often, my husband says he’s going to “sit on me.” This isn’t some idle threat, nor a threat at all. Rather, his words convey a promise to, literally and figuratively, cover me with his strength and love, though he doesn’t actually sit. Instead, he rolls over on top of me, completely enveloping me in his much bigger and stronger self. Perhaps he’s attempting to squeeze out all my angst, or maybe, not knowing what else to do, simply wants me to know he’s there, sees my inner struggle, and that he cares.
The first time he “covered me” in his love occurred around eight years ago. It had been a tough week during which God had allowed some deep, long buried hurts from my past to resurface. In the middle of this painful, fragile time, I received a phone call that left me sobbing so hard, I couldn’t catch my breath. It was as if every hurt once suppressed suddenly rose to the surface. It’s hard to describe the intensity of my emotions except to say that it literally felt as if my heart were shredding .
And in the middle of my ugly cry, as I lay in bed, tears coursing down my cheeks, my husband came to my side and immediately rolled on top of me, squishing me in the strongest, firmest, most immovable hug I’d ever experienced. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” he said over and over. Then, after maybe the tenth time, realization hit: “That’s Jesus.”
I understood, with tear-quieting clarity, that Christ was loving me through my husband in that moment. Though this experience and the understanding that followed didn’t alleviate my pain, it did make it more bearable, because I knew I wasn’t alone. Through my husband, Jesus showed me that He saw me, loved me, was with me, and would carry me through.
When my emotions and circumstances feel out of control, I love to spend time reading through the Psalms. Many of them were written by a man named David who was hunted down for years and, at one point, forced to hide in a cave. Though proven to be a courageous warrior, many of his psalms reveal he also struggled with fear. But in the midst of his most terrifying circumstances, he never lost sight of what he knew to be true: that sovereign creator God was always with him, would never leave him, and would one day turn everything to good.
When others warned him of threats, encouraging him to flee, he responded, in essence, saying, “I trust God to protect me, so why should I run.” (Psalm 11:1) Even if a thousand dangers lurked in the shadows (Ps. 11:3), David refused to [image error]cower, because he knew God was both intimately near (in His holy temple) and reigning from heaven (Ps. 11:4), where He could see all. Though life and David’s circumstances might have felt out of control, truth told him otherwise. He knew with unshakable certainty that the all-powerful, all-knowing God was with Him, in the middle of his greatest challenge, engulfing him in love and truth.
As David Guzik from the Enduring Word puts it, “When David considers the greatness of God, the care of God, and the vision of God, it all outweighs the danger.”
When we’re anxious, may we consider and meditate on those same unchangeable truths, and may we wrap ourselves deeply, completely, in God’s loving, protective embrace. Though this may not alleviate our anxiety, it will make it more bearable as we cling to the certainty that God will carry us through.
Let’s talk about this! Do you struggle with anxiety? If so, what are some things you’ve found to help?
If you haven’t already done so, consider joining my private Faith Over Fear Facebook group where I share daily challenges designed to help all of us move from fear to faith. You can join HERE.
I also invite you to join Wholly Loved’s private group where you can share your struggles, celebrations, doubts, and prayer requests and link arms with other women learning to anchor themselves in grace. You can find us HERE.
Additional resources you might find helpful:
Breaking the Fear Cycle by Maria Furlough
When Our World Feels Out of Control
Tracing Our Fears to Their Proclamations
Faith Over Fear Bible Reading Plan
Fear and Faith: Finding the Peace Your Heart Craves by Trillia J Newbell
February 6, 2020
Finding God Amid Our Fear
Sometimes God must allow us to experience our greatest fears in order to free us from them. When it feels as if the ground beneath us will crumble to dust, we learn in a deeply personal way that “though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed” God’s unfailing love will always remain.
To put it simply, we often discover who God is in all His faithful and merciful glory, not during the tranquil periods but when we feel as if our lives have upended.
Some of you may be familiar with this story I’m about to share. I tell it often because, of all the things I’ve experienced throughout my life, this particular event led to my greatest freedom. Though at first, I felt anything but free!
At the time, I was enslaved to fear, primarily of relational loss and financial insecurity. We were living in Louisiana at the time, in a newly built, gated neighborhood and had plenty of money coming in to pay our bills and then some. My husband drove a company car, had a company pension, and managed our finances well. I had every reason to relax, but anxiety frequently won, resulting in a constant fight for control. I lived as an orphan, as if I were forced to navigate a harsh, unpredictable world all alone rather than the beloved, cherished daughter of Christ Scripture promised I was.
Had God not intervened, I’m certain I would’ve destroyed my marriage. But He did, tearing me from my highly-regulated safety plan and allowing me to land in one of my greatest fears—unemployment (my husband’s). This resulted in a three-year transitionary period where we lived off of savings for a while then moved, first to Texas then to Missouri. And with each move, God allowed falsehoods to rise to the surface so He could counter them with truth.
When I felt abandoned and unheard, He assured me He would never leave and was attentive to my every cry. When it seemed my prayers went unanswered, He reminded me that He was working out all things according to His good and loving plan, for my growth and His glory. For every fear, He gently guided me to timeless promises in Scripture, reminding me of who He was, what He’d done, and what’s yet to come. As my vision shifted off of my problems and concerns and onto my powerful, unconquerable God, my fears slowly died.
When I’m feeling frightened, I love to spend time in the psalms, which often seem to echo the cries of my heart. When it feels as if my circumstances are unjust and perhaps others have betrayed me, I know “the Lord reigns forever, executing judgment from His throne” (Ps. 9:7). When I feel exposed and helpless, I know where to turn for “the Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble” (Ps. 9:9).
“Those who know Your name,” the Psalmist says, “trust in You.”
Or to put it another way: If we truly grasp the fullness of Christ—His love, power, and attentive faithfulness toward all His children [image error]—we realize we have no cause for concern and every reason to trust. We can attempt to fight our fears countless ways, but nothing soothes and strengthens the heart quite like growing closer to Christ. He is the only One with the power to save. When all our attempts to control and salvage our situation fail, we discover we truly have all we need in Him. He alone stands firm, immovable, at our side, and He always will.
Let’s talk about this! What characteristics of Christ do you find most comforting when you’re afraid? How do those characteristics speak to your current fear? Share your thoughts and stories in the comments.
For those of you waiting for the Faith Over Fear Podcast, Salem’s target release date is mid to late month. I’ll keep you posted if this changes.
My correlating Bible reading plan is currently available. You can find it HERE.
Connect with Jennifer Slattery on Facebook and Instagram and contact her HERE to book her for your next women’s event.
Find her latest articles on ibelieve:
3 Commonly Quotes Bible Contradictions And How to Explain Their Truths to Agnostics
A Prayer of Hope for a Broken Home
What Would Jesus Say About the Church Today
Watch some of Jennifer’s Faith Over Fear video devotions:
How Anxiety Dulls Our Spiritual Hearing
January 30, 2020
Refreshing Our Prayer Life Through Remembering
Have you ever paused to consider where you might be now if not for God’s intervention? I need to do this regularly, otherwise I become complacent, prideful, and entitled. I begin to focus on minor inconveniences—a traffic jam that makes me late for a meeting, or an unexpected bill that eats my coffee fund—rather than Christ and eternity.
Worse, I forget to listen and I resist surrender. I deceive myself into thinking I have all the answers, that I alone hold the outcome of my future. And with every forgetful step, my pride rises up, urging me to follow the god of self.
I know that god well, and I know precisely where she leads. Her progression from selfishness to isolation and broken relationships. Uncontrolled finances. Unresolved hurts and unchecked faulty perceptions. Lord, help me remember those dark, confused places and every battle You won on my behalf.
Perhaps that’s why Scripture often encourages us to remember and warns us not to forget.
In Deuteronomy 6:12 the Israelites were told to “take care lest you forget the Lord, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.” In Psalm 78, we learn the people rebelled because “They forgot what [God] had done, the wonders He had shown them” (NIV). But perhaps most powerfully are Christ’s words, spoken the night before He died, when taking the bread and the wine: “Do this in remembrance of Me” Luke 22:19 (NIV).
Because in the remembering:
I find courage to relinquish my grip, knowing I’ll always land firmly in my Savior’s hands. He’s proven Himself faithful again and again. He’s demonstrated, through my blunders and moments of surrender that His knowledge greatly [image error]exceeds mine and His ways truly are best.
I find strength to keep moving, regardless of how steep the climb. Why? Because God’s helped me conquer similar, perhaps even rockier, terrain before, and the strenuous hike always pales compared to the beauty experienced upon the mountain’s peak.
I gain peace as I contemplate God’s steadfast presence and all the years and days and hours that He faithfully walked beside me. I couldn’t always hear Him, and there were times I couldn’t feel Him, and yet, He was there. Always, just as He promised. And also, just as He promised, He will be with me now, today, and tomorrow, and forever more.
Through remembering, praise and strength fill my heart and soul, and the joy of Christ floods my being.
And so I wonder, why don’t I practice this discipline more?
Sometimes my prayers turn perfunctory. I go through my list and often repeat the same requests day after day. While there’s nothing wrong with asking for God’s help—in fact, He bids us to lay all our concerns before Him– I long for more.
Throughout my daughter’s life, she’s asked for many things, and rightly so. We fed her, clothed her, purchased gifts and paid for experiences with us and her friends. When she’s concerned, hurting, or frightened, I hope her father and I are the first people she comes to. I hope she knows we’ll always draw her close and will never turn her away.
But when she simply comes, to connect and spend time with me—those moments are priceless.
The other day, my daughter sent me a message that said simply, “You’re a good mom.” I took a screen shot of her words [image error]and saved them, and I suspect I’ll read them again and again. Not because I feel insecure or even need her validation. Rather, I cherish her and the relationship we’ve cultivated. That was what she expressed in her message—our relationship.
But more than that, I cherish her heart. Her grateful, kind, loving heart.
Is that perhaps how God feels, when we offer Him similar praise? When we pause to reflect, to remember, who He is and what He’s done. When we really take time to sit in those memories, to let them bolster our hearts and our souls.
What are some ways you pause to remember? How do you make those moments times of intimacy between you and your Savior? What are some ways you keep your prayer life fresh and vibrant? Share your thoughts and ideas with us in the comments below. And make sure to connect with Jennifer Slattery on Facebook and Instagram.
Additional resources:
What Does the Bible Say About Remembering on Open Bible
Remembering Then But Now on Bible.org
A Holy Reminder by Jana Kelley
Remembering God’s Blessings by Dr. Charles Stanley
