Jennifer Slattery's Blog, page 23

And now … for the reading plan

I did it again, y’all. I really need a “before I publish blog posts” check list. For those following the chronological reading plan, I updated my previous post to add it. But I knew those who receive my posts by email likely wouldn’t see that, so I’m creating a follow up.

Here’s week the reading for week six, and wow, can you believe we’ve been reading through the New Testament for six weeks now? Keep it up, y’all!

The Armor of a Christ-Centered Identity

As we grow in Christ, we begin to discover who we truly are, and our actions necessarily follow. Living deeply rooted in our Christ-centered identity does much more than simply build our confidence. It also greatly impacts how we respond to others and provides a powerful insulator against sin. In each moment, we are living as a deeply loved child of God, held secure by Christ, or as an orphan forced to fight through life on our own. We can act as if we have to prove ourselves, or we can rest in who we are, all God’s done, and all He’s promised yet to do.

When I first sensed God calling me into ministry, I was plagued by insecurity. While I knew, intellectually, God alone was my Savior and Lord, I routinely lived as if I held those titles. My mental role reversal caused me to strive rather than surrender and to see every challenge as a threat instead of opportunities to experience God’s care. I responded to financial and health threats in a similar manner—acting as if abandoned and forced to navigate a harsh world on my own.

This inevitably led to unloving, harsh, and self-centered behavior that hurt others and hindered my intimacy with Christ. Increased freedom came when I progressively found myself in Him.

I belonged to Christ, purchased with His very life. To free me from hell, yes, but also to bridge the gap my sin had wedged between us. In other words, the God of all creation, of infinite wisdom and power, suffered and died to forge an intimate, inseparable, soul-deep bond with me. To turn one of His enemies into His adopted child.

I’m never alone. My Daddy, who’s bigger and greater than anything that could ever come against me, stands ready to come to my aid.

No matter the circumstance or threat, I can relax, knowing God remains with me, has a plan for me, and will perfect all that concerns me. Those truths provide powerful armor I can sink deeply into when temptations hit.

Without that armor, I invite attack.

Notice the tactics Satan used when tempting Jesus.

3 And the tempter came and said to Him, “If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.” 4 But He answered, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone,
but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

5 Then the devil took Him to the holy city and set Him on the pinnacle of the temple 6 and said to Him, “If you are the Son of God, throw Yourself down, for it is written …” (Matthew 4:3-6, ESV, emphasis mine).

It’s as if he’s mocking Jesus, saying, “If You really are who You say You are …”

When I’ve experienced something similar, I often felt compelled to prove myself. Not Jesus. Instead, He calmly but firmly spoke truth, repeating, “It is written …”

Jesus knew who He was and Who had called Him. Everything else was irrelevant. Everything else is irrelevant to us as well. Regardless of what we face or how others treat us, you and I belong to the God who formed us, loves and redeemed us, and calls us to greatness. We have nothing to prove and no reason to fight for control. We simply need to sink more deeply in who we are and all the blessings and provisions available to us as daughters of Christ.

Let’s talk about this! How has identity-confusion led to sin in your life? What is one way you can anchor yourself more securely in your true identity? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!

If you’re a parent of a kiddo aged 11-18, I encourage you to listen to the latest Faith Over Fear episode titled Courage to Fight for Our Kids.

And, mamas of girls, make sure to sign up for Wholly Loved’s virtual mother-daughter conference. Find out more HERE. And make sure to connect with me on Facebook and Instagram.

For those following the chronological, New Testament Bible reading plan …

When Our Perceived Morality Deceives Us

The deep needs that drew me to a local Southern California church twenty-some years ago were the very things that made it so challenging to walk into that building. I didn’t understand the depth of God’s grace and that I was in fact much closer to Him than I realized. My perception was skewed by outward signs of religion. Sitting in the back, I surveyed all the people filling the rows before me. They appeared so … respectable and polished, like people who never lost their temper, uttered curse words, had marital problems, or struggled with financial debt.

I felt certain they came from Brady Bunch type backgrounds. A world I didn’t understand and assumed I’d long since been excluded from. Jesus spent decades, quite literally, decades, shattering those false perceptions that kept me bound in shame by countering my hierarchal view of sin. I came to realize, we’re all equal in our need for Christ and our complete unworthiness of His grace. Some of us are just more aware of that need. Man-made rituals can deceive us into seeing ourselves—our efforts and outward displays of holiness—as our saviors.

Human pride is perhaps the greatest challenge to authentic faith, and therefore, to true and lasting freedom. To grab hold of the life Christ offers, we first must realize how truly dead we are apart from Him.

This was the message a man named John the Baptist proclaimed some 2,000 years ago. In everything he said and did, he made it clear, everyone—Jews and Gentiles, priests and prostitutes—needed redemption. His very appearance and lifestyle stood in stark contrast to the work’s-based religion the Pharisees had been proclaiming. They flaunted their “holy” status by dressing in luxuriant robes with “extra long tassels” (Matthew 28:5). Whereas “John wore clothing made of camel’s hair, with a leather belt around his waist” (Mark 1:6). His appearance would’ve immediately reminded his Jewish audience of the prophet Elijah, who dressed similarly, and the prophet’s frequent call to repentance.

John invited everyone, the “sinner” and religious elite alike to be baptized. This wasn’t a new sacrament. In fact, the Jewish people had long practiced this ancient rite, but usually when converting Gentiles into Jews. In calling the Jews to baptism as well John was in essence stating that they were as far from God and in need of repentance as their pagan neighbors, a truth many found preposterous. Therefore, convinced of their self-made righteousness, numerous Pharisees and teachers of the “law” remained enslaved to sin.

It’s easy to fall into that Pharasaical mindset, to become so convinced of our goodness, we forget our need for God. I’m so very thankful I’m no longer that shame-filled woman who walked into that Southern California church so long ago, but I hope I never forget the life God plucked her out of. I hope I never forget how desperately I need Jesus.

Where are you on the religious-acts versus grace spectrum?  Are you overly consumed with guilt and shame, and therefore need to lift your gaze to grace? Or have decades of outward religious behavior begun to blind you of your ongoing need for Christ?

If you struggle to accept God’s grace, I encourage you to listen to Faith Over Fear, Episode 15: The Courage to Rest in Grace When you Mess Up.

I also invite you to join me and my team for the Wholly Loved mother-daughter conference to learn how to love one another with grace while anchored securely in grace. Find out more HERE.

For those following our chronological Bible reading plan:

 

The History Changing Power of God’s Love

Nothing—not foreign invasions, persecutions, not the challenges of today or the uncertainties of tomorrow can thwart God’s plans. Our life-giving, faithful Father is always at work, consistently and persistently guiding and protecting the lives of those He loves and all that concerns us.

Sometimes I lose sight of just how awe-inspiring the gospel truly is and how many pieces fell into place, from the moment mankind first sinned, in order for God’s redemptive plan to unfold. But then He allows something to occur, a life-parable if you will, that reminds me afresh of just how brilliant, how loving and strategic, my Father truly is.

Have you ever paused to consider where you are now and all the steps involved to get you there? All the seemingly random turns or delays that, evaluated later, proved hugely consequential? Of a particular God-moment only He could orchestrate that you come to realize, upon reflection, He’d set into motion years, maybe even decades prior? Remembering these situations helps us rest knowing our world and our lives, as chaotic as they might sometimes appear, are held secure in our loving, faithful and attentive Father’s hands.

Ten years ago, my husband initiated a conversation that broke my heart and triggered fear, for many reasons. His company had offered a job in Omaha, Nebraska, a position he wanted to take.

This meant we would have to move, which meant uprooting my daughter during a really challenging period socially. She was a Freshman in high school at the time and had developed strong community ties and deep friendships with those types of teens you pray your children will connect with. Relationships cultivated and deepened for years, once in a lifetime friendships, in fact.

“Please don’t make me move,” she begged, with tears coursing down her cheeks. My mama’s heart so wanted to concede. In fact, I tried to change my husband’s mind, again and again.

When that didn’t work, I contemplated numerous solutions, and none of them good. Maybe he could get an apartment and visit us on weekends. Or maybe we could move in with friends and visit him? I’m certain, had my husband agreed to either option, our marriage, our family, would’ve slowly eroded. And in choosing what was easiest in the moment, we would’ve forfeited the beauty that lay ahead.

God saw what we couldn’t—a teenager whose kidney was failing, a desperate mother praying for help, and how God was guiding my husband step by step, conversation by conversation, to fill that need. In June of 2015, almost exactly four years later, my husband donated a kidney to a stranger—a kid he didn’t meet until a week before surgery.

As I reflect on all God did to bring that young man and my husband together, ultimately, all God did to save that young man’s life, I’m reminded afresh of the glorious, unconquerable plans of God. His love truly does know no bounds, and His arm always has the power to save.

I was struck afresh by this truth when I read about the night Joseph, Jesus’ earthly father, fled with his family into Egypt. Scripture recounts this terrifying moment in Matthew 2:13-18, but to put it simply, when Herod the king of Judah, learned of Christ’s birth, he became “deeply disturbed” (Matthew 2:3, NLT). Verse 4 tells us he asked the religious leaders where the Messiah was supposed to be born, determined to kill the child. But God intervened.

Verse 13 tells us “an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. ‘Get up and flee to Egypt with the child and his mother,’ the angel said. ‘Stay there until I tell you to return, because Herod is going to search for the child and kill him’” (V. 13, NLT). Joseph obeyed, escaping with his young and likely terrified wife and newborn child.*

But I wonder, did he and Mary wrestle with the same emotions my husband and I did, when we moved to Omaha? Had they become settled in Bethlehem or thought about all they might do, all the people they might see, once they returned with Jesus to their home in Galilee? In a moment, their plans were changed, but for such a good, hope-filled reason. Through their rescue, God was orchestrating His rescue plan for you and I as well.

And in this, I’m reminded once again, His plans will never fail and my salvation is sure.

When difficulties come, may we remember those truths, knowing no matter what we face, God is greater still, and His arm is never too short to save nor His ears too dull to hear. He is with us and for us, always, and as Scripture proclaims, in Christ every promise is yes and amen.

Let’s talk about this! Are you or a loved one facing what feels like an insurmountable problem? Do you feel vulnerable and unprotected? How does remembering God’s sovereign love, revealed throughout Scripture, help grow your faith and starve your fears?

*We don’t know how old Jesus was at this time. Based on the fact that Herod ordered soldiers to kill all the males aged two and under, scholars state Jesus was likely in that same age range.

For those following the chronological Bible reading plan:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Listen to the latest Faith Over Fear podcast episode here:

God Sees and Cares, Always

My family calls me Mama Bear for a reason. I love deeply and fiercely, especially when someone hurts those I love. I can also struggle with the ability to let go, long after the incident has passed. Something deep within me cries out for justice—for the offender to acknowledge and take responsibility for the damage they’ve caused. When that doesn’t occur, I take comfort in knowing God sees and knows all, my and my loved one’s hurts included, and will one day make all things right.

When my daughter was young, a teacher spoke ugly things into her heart and hurt her deeply. She had entered the school with a love for learning and a hunger to explore. By the end of her fifth grade year, she became paralyzed by a growing fear of failure. She grew so afraid she’d get answers wrong, she got to where she couldn’t write anything.

In a year’s span, I watched the spark within her grow dimmer and dimmer. It took some time for this hurt to heal. Years of loving and kind educators speaking life into those wounded areas. Witnessing the long-lasting effects of my daughter’s pain triggered protective anger within me. I wanted the harsh teacher to know precisely what she’d done.

I imagine there have been times when you’ve felt the same.

When we’re in that place, it helps to remember our God sees. He sees every hurt, every callous word, every unloving act. He sees, He cares, and promises to, one day, make all things right. While this truth doesn’t negative the pain we all experience in this broken and often unjust world, it does help cushion the blow knowing we and our loved ones aren’t alone. God sprinkles reminders of this throughout Scripture, of times when He demonstrated His love for justice and those who likely felt discarded, betrayed, and abandoned.

I wonder if that’s how Bathsheba, the woman from 2 Samuel 11, felt when she first learned of her husband’s death. Some of you may be familiar with the story. Scripture tells us one day, King David was walking about on his palace roof, likely gazing across his land. From this elevated position on top of Mount Zion, upon which his castle stood, he could easily see the open courts of all the houses below. And then, mid-stroll, a beautiful woman captured his attention. She was bathing in her garden, completing ceremonial purification rights, likely in honor of God. Completely unaware of the lust-filled eyes locked upon her. Shortly after, the king’s messenger’s came knocking at her door to take her back to the palace. Soon after, King David, the man with supreme authority in the land, slept with her then sent her home.

How might you have felt in this situation? Living during a time when women were often treated as property, to be summoned, used, then discarded? And then, before those wounds have had time to heal, she learned she’s pregnant. Likely terrified, she told the king. Soon after, he had her husband killed.

After all this, did her soul cry out for justice? Did she long to know that someone saw her pain, that someone cared? We know from Scripture God indeed saw it all and held David accountable for his sin. (2 Samuel 12). But He did more than that.

Notice how she’s mentioned in Matthew’s genealogy in Matthew 1:

Verse six states, “David was the father of Solomon, whose mother had been Uriah’s wife” (NIV).

First, why mention her at all? Obviously, each of the men listed had mothers, but we only read of five: Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba, and Mary. With each, we learn of the sons they bore, but notice, with Bathsheba, we’re told something more. We learn not that she was married to David, the Goliath slayer and “man after God’s own heart.” No, Scripture says she was Uriah’s wife, the valiant, honorable man David, the king, had, in essence, murdered.

Granted, that’s not the purpose of Matthew’s list, and my perspective is merely conjecture at best. Still, I can’t help but find significance and comfort in knowing that God preserved this truth, that Bathsheba belonged to Uriah first. That they had belonged to one another. David stole her from her husband then later stole her husband from her.

In this small section of Scripture, I’m reminded that God cares for our big hurts and our small and has promised, one day, justice will prevail. Until then, we hold tight to the comfort of His love and the knowledge that He sees every injustice we suffer.

Let’s talk about this. Is there a situation, maybe a past hurt or a hurt someone you love has suffered, that you need to surrender to God? What words of comfort and truth is He speaking into your heart today? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below. And speaking of hurts, make sure to check out the latest Faith Over Fear Podcast episode on finding the courage to break free from fear of rejection. You can listen HERE.

And make sure to connect with me on Facebook and Instagram! For those following the chronological reading plan:

Oops … Now For This Week’s Bible Reading Plan

To those who just received today’s post via email, I hit publish before I had finished composing the content. I failed to include this week’s reading plan passages. This week, I suggest reading new passages on day 1-4, then reviewing all of Luke on day 5, asking God to show you what He wants you to apply or understand.

When Relationships Are Inconvenient

In our rushed and often chaotic world, it’s easy to let relationships slide. At least, this is the case for me. I can become so wrapped up in my schedule and weekly to-do list, I begin to lose sight of my need for connection. I begin to take those relationships for granted, thinking I’ll have more time tomorrow, or the day after that, or perhaps next week or next month.

I’ve learned, to build deep, lasting relationship, I must be intentional and embrace inconvenience.

We moved around a lot when our daughter was young, which resulted in numerous friendships made then lost. While she grieved every transition, her sorrow increased tenfold when we moved to Omaha her sophomore year in high school. You see, she’d grown especially close to one girl in particular. The child had spent many nights at our house and had even accompanied us on a few family vacations. As a result, what began as awkward interactions at recess eventually morphed into a close sisterhood.

As you can imagine, when we told the girls my husband was being transferred, both were distraught. My heart ached for them as well, but I assured them that their relationship could withstand the distance, if they chose. However, they would have to work harder at staying connected. They’d have to embrace inconvenience, whether that meant long phone calls or car rides. They would also need to trade many of their spontaneous moments for intentional plans, scheduling visits weeks if not months in advance.

I knew, from having moved myself, this wouldn’t be easy, but I knew their efforts would be worth it. Or perhaps to rephrase, I understood the ache of friendships not built and held. Years prior, after having moved numerous times, I grew rather relationally lazy. Initially, I stayed so busy, this didn’t feel like a big deal. But then, I went through a painful season and found myself largely alone. And I realized I’d placed myself in that position. Always so focused on that next task, I’d “convenienced” myself into shallow relationships.

We know, at least in theory, the value of every intentional, inconvenient moment invested. But sometimes the busyness of life can make us forget, at least temporarily, until a crisis hits. Then we realize, maybe at a depth we hadn’t before, that we truly weren’t meant to go through life alone. When circumstances feel frightening and painful, we all need an “Elizabeth” we can turn to. Someone who gets it, whatever it is, or at least, if they can’t understand our particular struggle, who get us.

When we read about Mary’s visit to Elizabeth, the brief page space makes it appear as if this older woman lived a mere afternoon’s walk away. But that’s not the case. Scripture tells us young Mary, who lived in Nazareth, traveled to the Judean hills, some 80 miles, most likely on foot, to see her relative. Obviously, this took effort and perseverance. Would you have trekked such a long distance to seek support? Or might you have talked yourself out of going with each progressive step?

Although the more important question for us all, myself included, is this: What distance (literal or figurative) are we willing to travel today to form the connections our hearts need and crave? Whenever we’re tempted to remain holed up in our homes or offices, chained to our computers, may we reflect on Mary’s example, remembering that deep relationships require intentionality and, at times, a willingness to be inconvenienced.

For those following the chronological Bible reading plan …

Before you go, fun news! Registration is now open for Wholly Loved’s Beautiful Mess Mother-Daughter Conference! Register HERE.

Seeing the Light in Dark Times

No matter how dark things appear, light is breaking through, always. The question is, will we see it? When difficulties come, it’s so easy to focus on the challenges and disappointments, and in that, to forget the heart, power, presence, and purposes of Christ.

I’ve noticed something lately, something that happens again and again. So often, my most challenging moments, in Christ’s hands, become so life-giving. When C19 hit, my ministry lost an entire year of conferences, and therefore a year worth of funding. At the time, I felt confused and uncertain. But God used the pause and our renewed focus on Him to lead us into new, increasingly fruitful territory.

This pattern has played out in my relationships as well. When we lived in Southern California, my marriage was in a rough place. I felt so alone and ached to connect deeply with my husband, but the hours and stress of his job routinely stole him from me. For a while, the situation seemed to get worse. But even then, God was working, revealing things to both of us we too easily ignored prior. That dark period became a catalyst for change and growth.

Perhaps the most vivid light-piercing-darkness event occurred when I first became sick. Initially, fighting my illness alone, I tried various supplemental “cures.” The more out of control my body felt, the more I fought for control. By the time I sought a doctor and received a diagnosis, my latent, previously manageable and largely “ignored” OCD morphed into obvious germaphobia.

That period was so hard on all of us, but it also led to deep healing. We couldn’t justify or downplay my behavior anymore. I wasn’t simply focused or particular. When life became challenging and darkness pressed in, it squeezed out my inner gunk that we had learned to ignore.

We could’ve become suffocated by the darkness. Instead, by God’s grace, we linked arms, turned to Jesus, and steadily sought and followed His light. And His light indeed broke through in such a beautiful, life-giving way. While this didn’t eliminate our pain, that period changed us, for the better.

Speaking of Jesus, John 1:4-5 says, “In Him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” (NIV).

Jesus didn’t come during a rosy time in history. Lives were ravished by King Herod’s infanticide, Roman oppression, poverty and hunger, leprosy and the lifelong isolation that accompanied it. But God was doing a mighty work not even the most powerful tyrannical ruler or most devastating disease could halt. He was bringing life to the dead and piercing the darkness with light.

The Pharisees couldn’t see this. They were blinded, distracted by the darkness, the darkness within themselves, yes, but also all the oppression and uncertainty in their world. All they could see was what they might lose, should this faith-movement continue: Their prestigious roles as religious leaders, their already tenuous relationship with the Roman authorities, their way of life. They couldn’t, or maybe wouldn’t, see the light—the gift of life and freedom Christ offered.

No matter what 2021 brings, I refuse to be like them. I refuse to become so engulfed in today’s challenges that I fail to see God’s light breaking through. Because I know it’s there. It always is, a light nothing, not the pain of today or the uncertainty of tomorrow, can extinguish.

Speaking of intentionally seeing and pursuing the light, I invite you to begin your new year determined to walk in God’s truth. Join me as I read—and write—chronologically through the New Testament. Each week, we’ll kick off with a devotional post, similar to today’s, followed by five days of suggested reading.

Week one:

Day one: Mark 1:1, Luke 1:1-4, John 1:1-5

Day two: John 1:6-18

Day three: Luke 1;5-17

Day four: Luke 1:18-25

Day five: Luke 1:26-38

Let’s talk about this!

How is God’s light breaking through your circumstances this month? And perhaps more importantly, how can you seek out and hold tight to that light when dark circumstances hit? Share your thoughts in the comments below, and make sure to connect with me on Facebook and Instagram.

And speaking of God’s light breaking through relational challenges …

Lose Weight God’s Weight-New Year’s Resolution-Guest Post

Whenever I set New Year’s goals, a part of me knows I won’t accomplish them. But I pull out that new planner anyway, think through all my plans and ideas, and analyze my areas of weakness. Then I summon my inner grit to actually put feet to plans for longer than, oh, I don’t know, a week. And while I personally am not that concerned with weight loss, I do love her focus. What if, in whatever goal we set, we focused on God first? If we sought His help with every step, followed His lead, and moved closer to our goals by moving closer to Him? Imagine the men and women we’d become!

Lose Weight God’s Way

Guest Post by Cori Dickess

It’s the New Year and what better time than to make some New Years resolutions. You know the usual resolutions like wanting to lose a few pounds, start exercising, cut sugar out of your diet or maybe even read the Bible in a year. You get the idea. I am going to be trying to lose some weight but to lose it God’s way, not my way.

So many times I have tried to lose a few pounds by exercising or cutting back on the carbs. But every time I return to my routine of eating that cookie after dinner or having something sweet after breakfast. That is if I don’t eat a chocolate covered cake donut FOR breakfast. Hahaha. And yes you have probably guessed that I have a sugar addiction.

Me loves some chocolate.

But I don’t want to succumb to my desire for chocolate after every meal and between meals. I want to be strong and fight that urge to eat that cookie.  Yet, I know that I can’t do it in my own strength. I need help. Lots of help!

I need God’s help!

Why is it that when we exhaust all of the other ways to try and lose weight we finally decide to ask God for help? Why can’t I ask God for help at the beginning of my weight loss journey? Well, this time I am going to allow God to change the way I think about food.

The Bible says we were made to crave (Psalms 84:2).  To pine after and to be homesick for something. But we weren’t made to crave after the things of this world (1John2:15-16).  We were made to crave after God. Satan will try everything in his power to replace our craving for God with the things of this world. He uses food to keep us from experiencing God’s love.

Could it be that we love and rely on food more than we love and rely on God?

Yes, I believe that can be the problem. Food is what I turn too when I am feeling sad, lonely, or upset. It temporarily gives me the comfort that I am longing for. I will even use the excuse when we are celebrating something to have a piece of cake.  I mean who says no too some birthday cake?  I can’t pass that up!

The body God has given us is good. I believe that our body will never be perfect this side of heaven. But it is still a gift from God. Being faithful in eating the right kinds of foods and taking care of your body honors Him. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own; you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your bodies.” While, in context, this verse is specifically referring to sexual sin, I believe the principle of self-care applies.

Would you not take care of a gift that was given to you by a loved one?

I had to see my struggle with food as more than wanting to wear a smaller size or getting compliments from other people. I relied on food more than I relied on God.  I craved food more than I craved God. Food was my reward. Food was my comfort.

I must be willing to change the way I think. We are not capable of doing this in our own strength. Scripture says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil 4: 13).  God’s strength is the only way we are going to be able to conquer this thing.  Those excuses or rationalizations of “It’s just one piece” or “I will do better tomorrow” need to be replaced with “I was made for more.”

We consume what we think about. The more I thought about that cookie or piece of cake, the more it consumed me to where I had to have it. So I prayed that God would show me a plan to help me with this addiction.  He reminded me of my doctors guidelines to eating.  She told me to visualize a plate. I was to fill half the plate with veggies, one quarter with protein and the remainder with carbs. God also gave me some boundaries to go by:

Eat only when physically hungry.Stop eating before you are full.Eat slower (it takes your brain 20 min to tell your body it is full).Do not deprive yourself of sweets or you will binge eat.Limit the amount of sweets you eat.

Each time I craved something I knew wasn’t part of my plan, I used that craving as a prompt to pray.  I was persistent in asking for God’s help.  He needed to be on this journey with me. I needed to ask for his wisdom and revelation when making food choices.

Now that I had a plan I also needed to find a friend to hold me accountable for when I start to back slide.  Someone who gently and lovingly spoke the truth and prayed for me.

Friend, I hope and pray this article helps you in your weight loss journey. If you’re anything like me you’ll need all the help you can get. These were just my guidelines. The Lord may lead you differently. So I encourage you to pray and ask yourself, Am I willing to sacrifice the feeling of comfort that food gives me for a closer walk with the Lord?

Yours in Christ,

Cori

***

Let’s talk about this! Do you set New Year’s Resolutions? Whether you do or don’t, how might analyzing your cravings, those things you allow to act as a substitute for time with Christ, and your increased reliance on Him help you conquer your areas of temptation?

Share your thoughts with us in the comments below, because we can all learn from and encourage one another.

Get to know Cori Dickess

Hi, there my name is Cori.  I am a freelance writer, a Jesus follower, and a wife to my amazing husband Larry of 16 years.  I have always loved to journal.  Just recently though God has laid it on my heart to share with the world the things that He has taught me over the past 20 years. God’s desire is for you and I to get to know Him better. And to share the love that he has for us with the world.  I would love to have you come on this journey with me.  Together let’s see what God has in store for us.



 



Visit her website HERE and find her on Facebook HERE.



 



Watch for Wholly Loved’s Bible Study!



 

The Courage to Maintain Boundaries at the Risk of Loss

Beneath every healthy or dysfunctional relationship, we’ll find boundaries at work. Healthy, God-honoring boundaries lead to increased health; Without them, people begin to hide, trust shatters, emotional intimacy decreases if not dies all together, and isolation grows.

When my daughter was younger, one of her friendships turned unhealthy and caused her considerable and consistent pain. She began justifying the poor behavior, telling herself the behavior didn’t, or perhaps more accurately, shouldn’t hurt and also that the other person couldn’t help it and therefore needed patience and grace. The problem is, apart from truth, grace isn’t grace. It’s enabling. As a result, over time, things became worse—the friend’s behavior, my daughter’s wounds, and the relational dysfunction.

And I struggled to see beyond the problem in that moment to all God was doing and was yet to do. Grieved by my daughter’s pain, I wanted to step in, to meddle, to fix. To control. To grasp and hold tight to things God wanted me to release—because I was afraid.

This is often my greatest challenge when setting boundaries, and honestly, this is a battle I continually fight. Many times, I know the right thing to do, but my heart struggles to comply. I don’t find it all that hard to take and maintain full responsibility for my behavior, emotions, and reactions. When I sleep in and miss a meeting, that’s on me. When I blow a deadline, that’s on me as well. When something angers me and I lose my temper? Me again.

I don’t like staying in my lane, however, when I know there’s a big old cavern up ahead in my loved one’s lane. When that occurs, I want to veer right and force them onto the shoulder or into a ditch, or perhaps rip their keys from their hands.

As ironic as this may sound, the greater my love, the harder boundaries become. The harder it is to not only realize but accept that I am not responsible for anyone else’s behavior, emotions, and reactions—nor should I attempt to make myself so. Living in that truth, however, takes courage, strength, surrender, and significant trust in Christ.

An old pastor from Louisiana used to say, “Don’t try to be the Holy Spirit in anyone’s life.”

So, what if we’re dealing with something more consequential than a hurtful friend? What if our loved one is heading toward serious self-destruction? What if their choices could, and likely will, destroy everything our relationship rests on, and thus, our relationship itself? I’m relatively certain those scenarios make us all a bit weak-kneed, because we know there’s a potential for deep, heart-breaking loss.

The greater the risk, the more challenging it is to set boundaries, which also means, the greater the potential for dysfunction.

I have to remind myself of this. When life becomes challenging, for me and those I love, all I can see are the danger signs directly attached to whatever behavior or choice concerns me. Choices I have zero control over—which may be why I’m so tempted to fight for control. To elevate the weakest, most deceptive, and often, destructive, god of all time—the god of self.

In short, I act as if God has somehow fallen down on the job and needs me to step in and meddle and fix and arrange.

This lies at the root of every choice and action. At each moment, I’m living in surrendered trust and obedience to Christ or I’m trusting in the god of me.

When I reach this place, I need to get honest with myself, with my fears, and with God. Do I really believe everything I claim to be true about God? Do I believe that He’s all-knowing, all-seeing, all-loving, faithful and true? Do I believe that He has the power to change hearts—and that I don’t, no matter how much I argue, nag, pester, or cajole? Do I believe He has the power to bring order to mental chaos, clarity to confusion, and truth to deception—not only in the minds of those I’m worried about but within me as well?

Do I believe God has a plan in the mess, and that He’ll bring good through it? That He longs to use the situation, as painful as it might be, to grow us all and make us more like His Son?

My internal struggle reveals I likely don’t truly, deeply believe those things, therefore the first and greatest work God wants to do is within me. And so, I need to hit pause. I need to quiet myself before Him and ask Him some heart-probing, life-changing questions, like:

What sin are You wanting to purge within me?
What lie or lies are You revealing?
What cracks in my faith do You need to mortar with truth?
And just as importantly, how do You want me to model life, light, health, and faith through this situation?

The next time we land in this place, may God remind us who He is, who we are, and who we are not. What He’s assumed responsibility for, and what He has not conceded to us.

He is the initiator, redeemer, Savior, Counselor, Guide, Teacher, and Father. The One who knows all and sees all and is in all.

Scripture tells us:

God:

Convicts mankind regarding sin. (John 16:8)
Has the power to change hearts. ( 11:19)
Transforms lives. (Philippians 1:6)

Our role is to:

Listen for His guidance.
Speak truth.
Honor God’s principle of sowing and reaping. (This means not attempting to shield others from the consequences for their actions.)
Seek personal growth.

When do you find it most challenging to set and maintain healthy boundaries? Why do you think this might be? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below, because we can all learn from and encourage one another!

If you haven’t already done so, you may want to listen to the following podcast episodes:

On Faith Over Fear:

The Courage to Set Healthy Boundaries

The Courage to Have Hard Conversations

On my Thriving With Chronic Illness podcast:

Setting Healthy Boundaries Part 1

Setting Healthy Boundaries Part 2

You might also find Wholly Loved Bible reading plan, 20 Days of Relational Health, found on the YouVersion Bible plan. You can access it HERE.