Christopher Farnsworth's Blog, page 15

The Superman We've Been Waiting For

Got the new Action Comics #1 yesterday and managed to save it for the very end of the evening, with ice cream. It was totally worth it. If the whole DC reboot has done only one thing right, it's given us Grant Morrison writing a new take on Superman. And it's pretty freaking great. I've [...]

My Latest Favorite Things

1. The Feedback column in New Scientist. It is a rich vein of nerd humor with  wordplay like "Freddie Hg" and readers who send in the many illogical, incorrect and unscientific uses of scientific-sounding language in the media and the world. "Radioactive peanuts" is the punchline to one of these jokes. (I won't spoil it for you.) For a few minutes every week, I get to imagine what it's like inside the skull of a much, much smarter person.

2. T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents from DC. Back in the 60s, the THUNDER Agents were superhuman peacekeepers for the Higher United Nations — presumably the counties that actually make the decisions, rather than Lichtenstein — who got their powers from advanced technology that also had the unfortunate side effect of being lethal with repeated use. Several companies have tried to reboot the idea since then, but it's never really worked by now. Written by Nick Spencer and illustrated by Cafu (as well as big names like Howard Chaykin and George Perez), this comic succeeds in creating an addictive look at a cold war fought with superhumans. It neatly incorporates the old characters from the previous series — who are more upright and generally heroic than their modern-day counterparts — and creates a new twist on the idea of a secret spy agency out to rule the world. Really fun, smart and kick-ass stuff. Every issue is too short, and the wait between them is getting too long for me already.

3. Community on NBC. I am growing embarrassed by my crush on this show. Really. It's like a master class in comedy performed in the tightest confines of budget and time. What's best about it, for me, is how the show has managed to maintain the emotional resonance of its characters despite increasingly absurd set-ups. In a just world, this would be getting American Idol's ratings.

4. Kohort. No idea what this thing is. Could be some offshore spam e-mailer. And yet, I reserved my username because I've been on every social network since sixdegrees and I'm not about to break my streak now.

5. Monkey Knife Fight Pale Ale. I was out at dinner the other night and saw this on the menu. I would have ordered it for the name alone, but it turned out to be the best pale ale I've had in a long time. Smooth, full-flavored and zero bitter aftertaste. Simply great beer, which is getting harder and harder to find these days.

6. Ten days and counting to the release of THE PRESIDENT'S VAMPIRE. The New York Post has kindly added it to its "Required Reading" list. And it's jumped up to #55 on the Amazon bestseller list for horror.

More Love (And Lust) For Cade

Man, I have the best readers in the world. And no, I'm not just saying that to suck up. I've got proof.

Fresh Fiction says THE PRESIDENT'S VAMPIRE is "a thriller with dimension, texture and a sharp sense of reality. … we may have a new series of blockbusters coming up."
Love Vampires says it's "a hugely entertaining novel. It combines the best aspects of the action-driven thriller with the supernatural and gains enough substance to become greater than the sum of its parts. … a superior example of just how good this genre can be."
Felicia the Geeky Blogger has named Cade her "book boyfriend," including a cool casting suggestion for him. It's very sweet even though Cade eats people.

I'm really lucky to have people out there who enjoy my weird books so much. Thanks.

Ballet Is Not For Sissies

We've been spoiled by CGI and wire-fu. I was reminded of this because my daughter is obsessed with ballet right now. And not just "Angelina Ballerina" (which has the most irritatingly catchy songs in the pre-K universe). Every morning after breakfast she demands — in her singularly adorable/dictatorial fashion — "Daddy let's watch ballerinas now on the iPad now PLEEEEEEEEEASE."

She wants to see actual dancers. So we scour YouTube for ballet clips. This has created a few slightly embarrassing moments — "Let's watch that one!" she says, and stabs at the video titled "Bikini Ballet." "Um. No. I don't think your mother will approve of that one." — but for the most part, it's been an education. Her current favorite video is Sukhishvili, the Georgian National Ballet Company. Or as she calls it, "Let's watch the knife-throwing man!"

Watch this video and you get an idea of what human bodies can do without special effects. You can see people make five-foot vertical leaps and land on the very tips of their toes; you can see guys bouncing on their knees across hardwood floors;  you can actually see sparks fly as men spin and clash with swords and shields; and you can see a man throw knives that embed themselves within inches of his toes. This is the result of years of Batman-like training, superb mental and physical conditioning, and hours of study. Given that an increasing number of Americans can't get through a mall without an electric scooter, it becomes even more amazing.

 

I have to admit, I wasn't that impressed at first. I was just happy to find something that would make my daughter happy. If you've seen The Matrix, you're probably inclined to say, "Meh. Neo can dodge bullets."

It took my daughter's fresh eyes for me to really see what was happening on the screen. It wasn't too long ago that she was still mastering walking. For her to see real people flying under their own power was nothing short of miraculous.

 

And the more I watched, the more I realized how unbelievable our capacities as human beings are.

 

Seriously, look at what we can do when we try.

 

Apocalypse Pretty Soon

I've driven past this billboard on my way west on the 10 for the past couple months.

Initially I thought it was just an advertising gimmick for some Christian fundamentalist radio program. Prophets rarely allow themselves to be pinned down on a specific date because if when the world doesn't end, well, that can be pretty awkward.

But as it turns out, this really is a hard-and-fast prediction for the End Times made by a self-taught Biblical scholar (a term that should trigger alarm bells right there) named Harold Camping. Camping says he's done the math and May 21 is when Jesus will come back and start kicking ass.

Camping has already called the Apocalypse once, back in 1994. He's willing to admit he may have been wrong about that. But he's certain this is it, no fooling around this time.

We'll check back in with Harold and his groupies on May 22. If it turns out the world really has ended, I'll owe him a Coke. Of course, I may be a little tied up fighting the zombie hordes of the Antichrist, but I'll do my best to pay up.

And if, by some strange chance or Internet click, you are one of Camping's followers and you find this post: please, for my peace of mind, do not give away all your worldly possessions and spend all your money. Leave at least a little for groceries and the credit card bill and the mortgage. I'm pretty sure Jesus won't hold it against you.

Egosurfing

Some days I think back to when I was young and naive and assumed that being a writer meant actually sitting at my desk and writing. Now, of course, I know better. Time at my desk is spent updating my social media sites, Tweeting, blogging, and checking Facebook. So along those lines, here are all the ways you can get the latest information from my never-ending, round-the-clock news outlets:

I've got a new Facebook page. This is where you'll go for book news, tour updates, photos and occasional tasteless jokes.
Also, if you haven't done so, you can stalk me on Twitter. This is where you'll get instant, up-to-the-minute bulletins about what I've had for lunch, where I'm going for lunch, and what I'm thinking about having for lunch tomorrow. Also, occasional tasteless jokes.
You can also find me on Quora if you want to ask me questions (or tell me any new tasteless jokes).
My videos — which are few and far between — can be seen on my YouTube channel.

Man, that's a lot of stuff. Don't be surprised if the next novel features a lot of my Tweets with the names changed to Cade and Zach.

 

 

Signs of Spring, c. 2011

AQUAMAN, MER-PEOPLE STILL MISSING
Researchers believe they have finally discovered Atlantis, which they say was an island swamped by a tsunami. They believe the survivors moved inland to Spain and built "memorial cities" in the image of their former home. This isn't the first time Atlantis has been found. It's interesting to me mainly in the light of the recent disaster in Japan. Our fascination with lost civilizations seems to spike when it looks like our own world is on the verge of ending. But places like this are a remarkable testament to our species' ability to keep going despite the planet's best attempts to kill us.  That said, I'm still holding out for a city covered in a giant glass dome.

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WHY BUY CRAZY WHEN IT'S FREE ON TWITTER?

There's some hope for us after all. The AV Club reports that the "peevish Wiffle ball of fact" contradicts abuser of drugs and women Charlie Sheen when he said the shows on his live tour sold out within minutes. The live shows — where he'd presumably talk about drugs and abusing women and whatnot — are far from sold out, and plenty of tickets are still available. Which shows, I guess, that people will slow down to look at a flaming car wreck, but they won't pay to see one.

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WELL, IT MADE THE HULK STRONGER, MR. SMARTY-PANTS

I'm personally divided on the question of nuclear power. Downsides: it's got some terrifying consequences if anything goes wrong; anything that produces waste that lasts longer than all of human civilization is not to be trifled with; and Homer Simpson seems less like a caricature after every one of these accidents. On the other, we are running out of oil and we aren't likely to give up luxuries like heat and light; oil and coal have a pretty impressive body-count; and radiation is actually good for you. At least, Ann Coulter said so. (Making it simultaneously the most interesting and least crazy of all the claims that have rocketed from her mouth.)

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EXECUTIVE COMPENSATION

A recent study cited in New Scientist suggests that financial risk-takers –have lower testosterone levels than normal. So now we have proof: the geniuses who recently disemboweled our economy literally have no balls. It's science.

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SUCK ON THAT, FAULKNER

Neil Gaiman's work kept a kid from killing himself. Now that's what I call writing.

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AW, LOOK. HE'S SLEEPING.

You might think there's nothing to like about this news report of a woman losing her shit and attacking an entire Burger King. You might even think both the behavior and our insatiable desire to see more of it are a bleak reminder of how far news has sunk in its quest for the lowest common denominator. But then, if you watch it carefully — as I did — you will see that the chief of police of Panama City Beach, Fla., appears to have a cat napping on the windowsill of his office. And for some reason, that just made my day.

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THOSE WHO CAN'T, DON'T

Any time someone complains that teachers are overpaid, I am amazed. People who cannot talk to their own children seem to think it's a daily vacation to take 20 to 40 overstimulated kids and try to drill some knowledge into their skulls. For anyone who needs a reminder of what a good teacher can do, I heartily recommend listening to Taylor Mali.

Harry Birthday

Today is the 137th birthday of Harry Houdini, or, as one author puts it, America's first superhero.

This photo occupies a special place in my heart and in my house; it was a gift from my mother-in-law.

(My wife's grandfather is standing the background, wearing glasses. He was, incidentally, the tallest man to have graduated from Harvard at the time.)

More fun facts: Houdini once played a hero unfrozen from an iceberg more than 40 years before Steve Rogers pulled the same trick.

Also, in what sounds like a Jazz Age Marvel Team-Up, Houdini once hired H.P. Lovecraft to ghost-write a horror story for him. (I know there's got to be a comic book or a movie in there.)

But if that's not enough for you, the guy also fought robots. ROBOTS. Let's see David Copperfield survive that.

 

 

 

The Week In Link

My friend The Answer Bitch came to me with the question: are Charlie Sheen's warlocks and trolls the new vampires? (Hint: no.)

Hyper-evolved vampire/chupacabras attacks on rise in Mexico.

My friend Mayrav has a new column about turning into a golem.

My friend Brill has started a new blog, Stitched to Death, where she embroiders celebrity quotes onto pillows. Suggestions are welcome.

My pal Beau Smith rescues the Captain Action Winter Special from a bad review single-handedly.

And I've got my new guest blog up at LitFest Magazine, where I answer 10 questions nobody asked.

 

Publishers Weekly on THE PRESIDENT'S VAMPIRE

Great review from Publishers Weekly for THE PRESIDENT'S VAMPIRE, the next adventure of Nathaniel Cade. For starters, it uses the word "Lovecraftian," which is always just cool to see in print, no matter what the context.

"Thrilling… Even Lovecraftian monsters pale in the context of human terrorism and war… Events build to a cinematic showdown… The conclusion will leave the reader breathless and wondering what horrors the future holds."

Full review here. (Registration may be required.)