Apocalypse Pretty Soon

I've driven past this billboard on my way west on the 10 for the past couple months.

Initially I thought it was just an advertising gimmick for some Christian fundamentalist radio program. Prophets rarely allow themselves to be pinned down on a specific date because if when the world doesn't end, well, that can be pretty awkward.

But as it turns out, this really is a hard-and-fast prediction for the End Times made by a self-taught Biblical scholar (a term that should trigger alarm bells right there) named Harold Camping. Camping says he's done the math and May 21 is when Jesus will come back and start kicking ass.

Camping has already called the Apocalypse once, back in 1994. He's willing to admit he may have been wrong about that. But he's certain this is it, no fooling around this time.

We'll check back in with Harold and his groupies on May 22. If it turns out the world really has ended, I'll owe him a Coke. Of course, I may be a little tied up fighting the zombie hordes of the Antichrist, but I'll do my best to pay up.

And if, by some strange chance or Internet click, you are one of Camping's followers and you find this post: please, for my peace of mind, do not give away all your worldly possessions and spend all your money. Leave at least a little for groceries and the credit card bill and the mortgage. I'm pretty sure Jesus won't hold it against you.