Marty Nemko's Blog, page 231

Quotes about Work . . . and Counterpoints

Quotations are more memorable and hence are often more helpful than are tomes. In an attempt to reduce quotes’ tendency to reductionism, my PsychologyToday.com article today offers a “yes-and” or a “yes-but” for 11 quotations from the eminent.

The Lazy Person's Guide to Growing Roses

You’re attracted to growing roses because of the romantic image, the beautiful flower form or fragrance, or because your grandparent grew them.

The attraction to roses is understandable. In a world that's ever more high-tech, impersonal, and in which some people are ready to pounce if you say the "wrong" word, the peace of mind that can derive from a simple pleasure like rose growing can be appealing, especially now as we're at the year's best time to order and, in warm-winter climates, to plant roses.
But you’re much less attracted to the idea of fancy pruning, frequent feeding, let alone spraying with an arsenal that would have scared Saddam Hussein.

I'm not attracted to that either. I’ve read the frou-frou advice, even attended lectures by rosarians—Yes, that’s actually a term. I’ve even tried some of their methods and after having grown roses, over 200 in total, for 40 years now, I’ve concluded . . . Nah.

Yet I still have nice roses, maximum pleasure with minimal effort. My PsychologyToday.com article today tells how.

Yes, But: 10 Eminent Philosopher’s Quotes…and their limitations

Quotations, especially from the preeminent, can yield much benefit per moment of reading. To that end, my PsychologyToday.com article today offers 10 such quotations plus my humbly offered yes-buts, plus one one-liner of my own. They’re presented in chronological order.

Preventing and Ameliorating Counselor Burnout

What has worked for me in preventing and ameliorating burnout may not work for you, but because I know best what’s worked for me, internally and externally, I can most accurately describe that. So that’s my focus in my PsychologyToday.com article today.

Becoming More Restrained or More Expressive: Should you, and how?

Some of expressiveness or restraint may be genetic and cultural and resistant to dramatic change but doubtless, some volition remains. So, in the service of your considering whether to become more or less expressive, my PsychologyToday.com article today lists restraint’s and expressiveness’s advantages and then tips for how you might go about changing.

Tough! Is being intolerant of bad behavior an underappreciated value?

Previous articles in my occasional series on values include one that invites readers to place themselves on 12 continua, and three articles on values that are tough to live by: discipline, hard work, and responsibility. 

Today’s article aggregates those three: It makes a case for toughness. It's potentially applicable in the widest range of contexts, as the article attempts to demonstrate.

Unearthing Your Foundational You: How to develop a nuanced set of core principles

Previously, I offered a simple approach to identifying your core principles. My PsychologyToday.com article today is for readers willing to take a bit more time in the service of developing a more comprehensive and nuanced set of life pillars as well as juxtaposing your current ones against your aspired-to ones.

Wisdom in Fortune Cookies

The fortune cookie may contain a prediction based on nothing, for example, “You have a bright future." Or it may be cheeky, for example, “Help, I’m trapped in a fortune cookie factory!”

But occasionally, a fortune cookie contains surprising wisdom. Having reviewed over 1,000 fortune cookie aphorisms, my PsychologyToday.com article today offers 13 that seem worthy at least of the moment it takes to consider them.

Developing Discipline

The holiday season has come and gone and, as I welcomed clients in the New Year, my pre-session small talk sometimes began, “Did you get any good holiday gifts?” They’ll say the usual: some piece of clothing, jewelry, or money donated to charity on their behalf. But alas, they didn’t get the gift of what many of them badly need: more discipline.

Many of my clients are bright, healthy, and had a good upbringing yet flounder, mainly for lack of discipline. My PsychologyToday.com article today offers three tips that have helped.

“My World is Getting Smaller and That’s Okay”

I've had clients who say that, as they’ve aged, their world has gotten smaller. In earlier years, I used to mention the research that touts benefits of getting out there but, more recently, my clients have convinced me that they’re fine with their world getting smaller. Their argument generally goes something like, “I’ve grown self-conscious about my physical and mental aging. So, both to avoid embarrassment and so I can focus my life on the things I still can do well, I restrict the amount of social and other outside activities.”
 
Instead of pushing such clients outward,  most of such clients have benefited more from my asking them questions and, if needed, making suggestions that lead them not to expand their world but to make more of their smaller world. My PsychologyToday.com article today offers some of those suggestions.