Jennifer Allis Provost's Blog, page 22
January 10, 2012
UnCONventional is (almost) here!
So, yes, I've redecorated the blog. Lovely, no?
UnCONventional, the anthology I've been harping about for months, will be released this very weekend! It's launching at Arisia, and we'll have a major celebration on Sunday at 8pm. Stop by & say hi!
In the meantime, here's an excerpt from my contribution, "All In":
The whoosh of the air conditioners intensified the cavernous,
underground effect of the auditorium. But instead of stone, we
were surrounded by gray, fabricesque walls and nondescript
patterned carpeting—all the better to hide the inevitable spills. A
long stage, reminiscent of school plays, occupied one end, while
the other held tables of finger sandwiches and other assorted
appetizers. A vast sea of folding chairs stretched betwixt the two.
It was the same—nearly identical, even—as all the conferences
Amy and I had attended before, and would probably be a dead
ringer for many as-yet-unscheduled events. I imagined that
Hell was an auditorium that held endless conferences, with the
denizens doomed to an eternity of egg salad sandwiches and
lukewarm beer.
I sighed, and sipped my merlot. "At least the booze is free."
Amy nodded her agreement. These conferences put the bore
in boring, and alcohol was our only solace. Actually, what we
really needed was to not attend in the first place, but Amy and I
had just been promoted to Senior Underwriters. Our new, lofty
status, coupled with all the letters that now trailed after our
names, made our presence mandatory.
Is it wrong to want a demotion?
As for those letters, they were for the various professional
designations attained in the insurance industry. I, myself, have
ACS (Associate, Customer Service), FLHC (Fellow, Life and Health
Claims), and the coveted CPCU (Chartered Property Casualty
Underwriter) status. The only reason I—or anyone in my office
except for Neil, but he's one of those annoying overachievers—
ever pursued such designations was for the monetary bonuses
that accompanied them. I could care less about furthering my
insurance career, although that wasn't what I said in my reviews.
Anyway, Amy and I were both being singled out for
recognition at this conference because of our recent promotions
and our plethora of professional designations That's a lot of p's.
Time to ease up on the wine. Oh, and because we're women. You'd
think—what with us having the right to vote for the past hundred
years or so—that it wouldn't be such a big deal to have successful
women in an organization, but no, we're still a rarity. No matter
what the propaganda says, the glass ceiling is still very much
present in corporate America.
In fact, our entire company, Living Financial Corporation,
was frequently lauded for having so many women in leadership
positions. In a perfect world, people like Amy and me would just
be good employees, but the fact that we're successful, intelligent
people with girl-parts is newsworthy. And our successful
corporation with over fifty percent female managing officers is
super-newsworthy. Sure, our CEO's a man, but he's surrounded
by smart, capable women.
The prior CEO once called us his "harem." His office was
vacant by lunchtime.
Not only did we employ the most women in upper
management, we also insured more women per capita than
any other Fortune 100 company. Our marketing campaign was
calibrated to capture the hearts of budding young professionals
of the female persuasion, many still clutching their newly minted
degrees, and encourage them to live life to the fullest, all the
while leaving their trusted insurance company to handle the
future. Our slogan was:
Life is not a spectator sport. Get in there—all in!
That slogan tended to be printed below some stock photography
of women skydiving or rock climbing without a care in
the world; if they went splat, we'd pay their heirs. Handsomely.
And, if they survived their many adventures (most did) we'd
begin payments promptly on their sixty-fifth birthdays.
See? Getting old isn't all bad.
The worst were the string of commercials that ran last
summer, like the one that showcased a harried female executive
wading through reams of paperwork while the clock tick-tocked
away. Then, a cheerful colleague would poke his head in the
door and extend an invitation for kayaking (or hang gliding, or
snowboarding; there were three commercials). The ever-cautious
executive would nearly decline, but then her eyes would fall to
a brochure bearing the company logo: an ouroboros rendered in
green ink. She'd smile devilishly, take off her glasses and shake
out her hair, then declare:
"I'm in. All in!"
Yep. I work for those cheeseballs.
"Want another?" Amy had been sucking down gin and tonics
like they were water. Before I could fire off a witty comment
about the dangers of excessive alcohol consumption, she nodded
at my empty glass.
Okay, so I sucked down merlot like it was water. Like I said,
this place was boring.
"Sure." We sidled up to the bar, which, in stark contrast to
prior conferences, was staffed by several virile young men. It
seemed that someone had finally gotten the memo that attractive
people get better tips.
As I clutched my refilled wineglass and ignored Amy's lame
attempts at flirting with the bartender, I surveyed the auditorium
at large. I gnawed my lower lip when it hit me: there were almost
no men present. Sure, this conference honored women in the
industry, but men still make up the majority of the workforce.
Even more strangely, the few men in suits looked like they'd hit
the open bar a bit too hard.
"Check out Bill." I nudged Amy's ribs with my elbow. Bill
was our Chief Underwriter, and you'd never find a more straightlaced,
by-the-book man anywhere. He accepted nothing less than
excellence, both in his work and in his appearance. Just as his files
were never out of compliance, his shoes were always polished,
and his tie perfectly knotted. But not today—no, today the tie was
askew, his suit was rumpled, and was that an untucked shirttail?
Scandalous.
"He's gonna get cut off if he keeps it up." Amy set down her
g & t. "Maybe open bar wasn't such a good idea."
I sipped my wine and silently disagreed. I thought it was a
great idea.
Then, Bill took off his jacket, which was just about naked for
a man of his conservative demeanor. The impromptu striptease
made me glance down at my own attire; for the conference I'd
shed my standard uniform of khaki pants and polo shirt for a
black-and-white floral dress and fire engine red heels.
These conferences may be boring, but my footwear will never
be.
Amy had also opted for something a bit dressier, a blue shift
dress with black boots. I was about to ask how she could walk
on those impossibly tall and thin heels, when the most annoying
employee of Living Financial snuck up behind us.
"My double-A pupils!" chirped a voice that made me cringe,
sending icy waves down my spine. Being that our names were
Amy and Ann, and that we were nearly inseparable during the
workday, we were the butt of all sorts of A-themed comments.
Double-A, A-Number One... you get my drift. I didn't have to turn
around to know Maggie Wilson, our Training and Development
Coordinator, had found us.
"That's us." I gulped some more merlot. At this rate, I'd be
wasted before the speeches—awesome.
I hope I don't trip when I walk up to the podium.
"Now, I trust you girls have made time for our Guest of
Honor?" Maggie's voice warbled between a singsong and a
caterwaul. She'd wrestled her iron-colored hair into pin curls
and wore her standard ensemble of pencil skirt, white blouse and
cardigan. Horn-rimmed glasses perched on the very tip of her
nose, held on by one of those beaded lanyards sold at school craft
fairs. Her shoes were soft brown loafers; if they got any more
sensible, they'd teach logic and rhetoric.
"We'll be here for the speakers," Amy said a little too quickly.
We'd only ever left one conference early, the one in Boise for
the release of new risk codes (I know, more evidence of my
glamorous lifestyle?) and as far as I knew no one had ever caught
on. I wanted to keep it that way.
"Oh, not the speaker." Maggie leaned closer, a conspiratorial
glint in her eye. "The true Guest of Honor. The one we're all here
for."
Our blank stares must have spoken volumes, but the everprepared
Maggie didn't miss a beat. Heck, with shoes like those
clodhoppers she made her own beats. She beckoned us to follow
her, her gestures saying we were about to be let in on a great
secret. I figured this knowledge was the fancy ladies room,
stocked with everything from hand lotion to extra pantyhose in
nude and black.
Was I ever wrong.
We followed Maggie to the rear of the auditorium, down a
stark gray hallway lined with identical gray doors and glaring
fluorescent lights, and finally to an area partially obscured by
heavy velvet drapery that reminded me of the curtains around
an old-time movie screen, complete with gold tassels and heavy
fringe. I made a crack about being on the wrong side of the casting
couch, and Maggie shot me a withering glare.
"Now girls, you know I like to have fun as much as the next
gal," Maggie whispered. I restrained myself from the obvious
jokes and nearly blew merlot out my nose. "But this is serious. I
need the two of you to be respectful. Best behavior, okay?" Amy
and I both nodded. Thus assured of our cooperation, Maggie led
us around the edge of the curtain.
On the one hand, I wish we'd had more of a warning, but then
again I don't know what would have adequately prepared me
for what was on the other side of the curtain. The marble dais in
the center of the room had an actual red carpet leading up to it.
Small pillars set on either side of the carpet held enormous floral
arrangements. Throughout the room, women lounged on sofas
and huge floor cushions, along with several men in varying stages
of undress, with a few clad in what appeared to be loincloths.
Bill would freak.
Anyway, these men were feeding women grapes, combing
their hair, rubbing their feet… It was as if we'd wandered out of
the insurance world and into our own private seraglio.
However, this harem of semi-nude men wasn't the amazing
part. Atop the dais was a plush velvet chaise edged in gilded
wood, and atop that chaise reclined a woman so lovely it was
almost painful to look at her. Long, black hair, dark eyes, and
skin as pale as paper, she wore a toga-like garment of a pale pink,
diaphanous fabric cinched about her waist with a golden cord.
Oh, and instead of legs, the lower half of her body was a
serpent.
My jaw dropped as I stared. Snake woman. A freaking snake
woman. I've got to lay off the booze.
January 4, 2012
New Year, New Goals.
2012 has at long last arrived, and New Year's resolutions are being posted by the zillions. At this rate, by the time the world ends in December no one will be overweight, the tobacco and alcohol companies will be forced to shut their doors, and we'll all go back to school and find fulfilling work. My, but those rose-colored glasses are pretty.
Back here in reality, I've chosen to reflect on what went well for me in 2011, mostly because my resolutions have a way of unresolving themselves by mid-February. anyway, about that good stuff... I switched day jobs from one that was eating me alive to one that (so far) has only nibbled at my toes. I had two short stories accepted for publication, All In and Zombie Love Song, and Heir to the Sun was finally released in print and as an ebook. I took a writing class, became the Advertising & Promotions Coordinator for Broad Universe, did tons of networking and met some pretty awesome people.
Wow. No wonder I drink so much coffee.
So, what's on deck for 2012? Well, for starters there's the Chronicles of Parthalan. The Virgin Queen, the installment that falls between between Heir to the Sun and Rise of the Deva'shi, will hopefully be released in early 2012. Then, we'll be all caught up chronologically, and I'll just need to wrangle publication dates for the fourth and fifth installments, Golem and Elfsong.
I've also got a few non-Parthian works in process, one an elemental magic user desperately trying to live a normal life, and another about a Scottish guy who's been stuck in a tree for the last three hundred years. If those snippets intrigue you, stop by Arisia and see me. I'll be at the UnCONventional group reading at 11:30 on Sunday, January 15. Oh, and did I mention the launch party later that evening? You should come. There will be cake!
December 31, 2011
Heir to the Sun - now available wherever ebooks are, um...downloaded.
That's right, just in time for 2012, Heir to the Sun is now an ebook! If you own a Kindle/Kindle Fire/Kindle app, here's a link right to Amazon's site:
http://www.amazon.com/Heir-Sun-Chronicles-Parthalan-ebook/dp/B006R18B2U/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1325341535&sr=8-2
If you possess some other sort of ereader, here is a link to the Smashwords site:
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/94014
Smashwords will allow you to download in a plethora of formats, from .pdf to .epub to regular ol' online reading.
As with all my work, I welcome your comments. Please feel free to leave a review, comment below, or drop me a line at jenniferaprovost@gmail.com. Happy reading!
December 21, 2011
Oh, The Holidays
I bet you're not done with your holiday shopping...I know I'm not!
Today was a veritable whirlwind of activity: I picked up the Wonder Twins' Christmas pictures, frames to put said pictures in, and a few stray gifts. I even went to Barnes & Noble and (strangely) didn't buy any books. Mind you this was after a full day at the office, and before my nightly 2-3 hour writing session.
Still, I am far from done with my obligatory holiday duties. I might just end up handing out gift cards to the stragglers.
But you, dear reader, I can help. It's a well known fact that books make the best present, and I know you're all just itching to get your hands on a copy of Heir to the Sun. Two independent bookstores currently have signed
copies in stock: Pam's Paperbacks in Wilbraham, Ma, and The Spiral Bookcase in Philadelphia, PA. The Spiral Bookcase also has Rise of the Deva'shi and Hell Hath No Fury in stock. Ann (super awesome proprietor) will ship books, but I have no idea about such details as fees and speed of delivery. However, if you call or email she'll help you out. She's super friendly.
Pams Paperbacks
85 Post Office Park # 21, Wilbraham, MA 01095
(413) 596-3612
The Spiral Bookcase • 112 Cotton St, Philadelphia, PA 19127 • (215) 482-0704
http://thespiralbookcase.com/
If you already have your copy of Heir to the Sun, still hit up one or both of these establishments for some last-minute gifts. Not only will you be helping out an independent bookstore, you'll be giving a wonderful gift to
boot.
December 3, 2011
Derailed
Firstly, as I may have mentioned I'm working on a book that isn't part of the Chronicles of Parthalan. It's a YA-ish dystopian fantasy, set in a world where magic has been outlawed for the past 15 years. The main character is a girl who wears her magic on her skin - literally - and has spent the last decade and a half desperately trying yo seem ordinary. Magic finds her anyway, and all hell breaks loose. I call it Copper Girl.
I intended to have it finished - rough draft, at least - by December 1. Well, we had a blizzard and lost power for 7 days, and wouldn't you know it my laptop doesn't work so well without electricity. Once power was restored I was busy doing things like handling the laundry pileup, cleaning up all the soot that we generated cooking on the charcoal grill, and other such things. So Copper Girl's wordcount is languishing around 30,000.
My marketing plan for The Chronicles of Parthalan also suffered due to the power outage. I haven't contacted half of the outlets I'd meant to, though the few bookbloggers I did get in touch with were receptive. Also, I have a few short stories that need submitting.
Aside from the natural disaster and all, I accomplished great things in November. I was almost a panelist at Anthocon, an awesome new convention in New Hampshire. (A scheduling conflict meant that the panel happened on a day I wasn't there. Oh, well.) Even without being on the panel, I sold some books and had a great time.
I also had a reading at The Spiral Bookcase, an awesome indie bookstore in Philadelphia. To date it's the farthest I've traveled for a book-related event, so I got to showcase my work to a whole new group of people. The shop has a parlor in the back where patrons can munch on cookies, have coffee, and read the day away. If you're in Philly, I recommend stopping by.
Now that the Month of Derailment has ended, how am I going to get back on track? Glad you asked.
1. I've set the completion date for Copper Girl at January 31, 2012.
2. The fourth Chronicle of Parthalan (yep, still churning those out) has an estimated completion date of 01/31/2012, and the fifth 04/30/2012.
(Yes, I work on multiple projects at a time. No, I don't think I'd work faster if I concentrated on the one. I pick up each as I'm inspired, then move on.)
3. I have three completed short stories i need to submit somewhere - one horror, one a reworked fairy tale, one fantasy. I'm going to research markets in December, and hopefully get those puppies out the virtual door in January.
4. Finally, the light at the end of the tunnel - Arisia! It's an awesome convention held in Boston January 13-16. There will be a launch party for UnCONventional, and it promises to be an awesome time. Stay tuned for details.
So you see, I refuse to let a tiny thing like a natural disaster get in the way of my work, and neither should any of you. It's all right to hit those bumps in the road - just pick yourself up and get going again.
November 25, 2011
About this Black Friday nonsense...
Shopping is fun. Getting good deals makes it even more fun, and let's face it-money is tight these days. Sales are where it's at.
But... what about all those corporate CEO's with their huge paychecks and big bonuses? They got that way because we, the consumer, willingly handed over our money to them. Now, I'm not laying blame because hey, we had to get our goods and services somewhere. However, I think we can do better.
To that end, I suggest we all participate in Small Business Saturday. What better way to pump much needed dollars into your local economy that by purchasing from local artisans? And, your gifts won't be that run-of-the-mill mall crap. They'll be unique and thoughtful, just like you.
I've already purchased from a few small businesses this holiday season, and I intend to purchase from more. It's a small thing on my part, but if we're all a bit more mindful about where we make our purchases we can make a big impact.
Also, don't forget the ultimate small business, your local indie authors. Books make great gifts, and a good story never goes bad.
November 9, 2011
Blackouts, books, and... sewing?
As you may or may not be aware, we had a rare October nor'easter here in New England on 10/29/2011
and subsequently were without power for seven days. And what a seven days it was!
Truthfully, it wasn't so bad. I mean it wasn't great, but it was definitely doable. We have a gas hot water heater, so showers and baths weren't an issue, and Ramen noodles and instant coffee definitely make every day better. We've also got a charcoal grill, so cooking was accomplished. (No matter the living conditions, hot food makes all the difference.) So in true pioneer spirit we all – by "all" I mean me, my husband, the wonder twins, two cats, a conure, a cockatiel and a giant pit bull who thinks he's the
size of a bunny – moved into the living room to stay warm, lit some candles and hoped for the best.
I bet you're wondering what I did for that forced leisure time. Sure, huddling together is fun and all, but surely that and making gourmet meals on the grill weren't my only activities. Here's a sampling of my
blackout-fueled activities:
I finished my October book of the month read (I know, I know, it took a blackout for me to finish it by the end of the month – what can I say, I'm a bad club member), finished three more books, and started a fifth. They are, in order of completion:
Zero Sight by B. Justin Shier
Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor
The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making by Catherynne Valente
The Singer's Crown by Elaine Isaak
Staff of Rahgorra by Mark Oetjens
I'm also the proud owner of a sewing pile that I pride myself on ignoring. Well, boys and girls, I managed to complete THREE projects! THREE!!! Then two of them fell apart when I washed them. I guess I should sew more often; I must have been out of practice.
I cleaned lots and lots of junk out of the kitchen and living room. You can't really see the difference, since I was mostly emptying drawers, but man do I feel lighter without all that clutter.
I also cleaned all the light fixtures and ceiling fans, apparently in some weird attempt to appease the god of electricity. My efforts must have paid off, because the power came back!
Now, we're working on getting back to normal. For me, normal is going to conventions and book signings, and I have two coming up. First up is Anthocon, November 11-13 in Portsmouth, NH. I'll be there on Saturday, and will probably be spending a lot of my time at the Broad Universe table. Come by and say hi!
Then I'll be at The Spiral Bookcase in Philadelphia November 20 reading from and signing Heir to the Sun. The Spiral Bookcase is a super-awesome indie bookstore. If you can't make the event, give them a ring at 215-482-0704 and ask for Ann. She'll ship you a signed copy!
*sigh* As I bask in the harsh electric lights and dry forced heat, I'm forced to look at the good that came of this extended power outage.
I still remember how to kindle a fire and cook on the grill
I got in lots of quality playtime with the wonder twins
My refrigerator is really, really clean. I should probably hit the grocery
store.
October 20, 2011
So, ever shop at used book stores?
Wow - two blog posts in one week! Surely, a sign of the apocalypse.
Well, the purpose behind this unprecedented event is to make sure you're
all aware that Heir to the Sun is now in stock at Pam's Paperbacks. Pam
sells new and used books, and she has a lovely, well-lit and well-organized
store.
For those of you who only shop online or in big chain stores for books, I highly
recommend a trip to your local used book store. Lurking amongst the shelves
are many, many treasures, such as out of print editions, first editions, and
maybe even signed copies. Don't get me wrong, I love Amazon and B&N, but
there's just something special about a bookstore. They're one of the few
truly magical places we have left.
So stop in, tell Pam I sent you. You'll be glad you did!
Pam's Paperbacks
85 Post Office Park # 21
Wilbraham, Ma 01095
(413) 596-3612
October 18, 2011
NY Comic Con recap and GoodReads winners!
The GoodReads winners were chosen on Saturday, October 15. We had over 800 entries! Congratulations to the winners: Kai, Daniel and Meredith. Your books are in the mail!
As for the rest of you, Heir to the Sun is now stocked in a new location: Pam's Paperbaks of Wilbraham, MA. Pam runs a great store of both new and used titles. It's got lots of light and it's well organized, so you can spot those treasures. Stop by and tell her I said hi.
In other news, my intrepid sister-in-law and I headed out to NY Comic Con yesterday. It was awesome, as always. The hightlights include:
Meeting Patricia Briggs, author of the Mercy Thompson series and its spinoff, Alpha and Omega. She does an awesome job with urban fantasy, but her high fantasy is where it's at. I asked the gracious Ms. Briggs if more stories were out there for our friends Seraph and Teir (Raven's Shadow, Raven's Strike) and she said YES!
Meeting Peter S. Beagle, author of The Last Unicorn, Two Hearts and many other works:
Having books signed by Jeaniene Frost and Marjorie M Liu.
Hanging out with fellow Broad Universe member April Grey (whom I randomly met in the
line for Jeaniene Frost and Marjorie M. Liu!)
Attending a Women in SF/F panel. Watch it here
And, last but certainly not least... R2D2!
Yep, good times indeed.
September 26, 2011
Out with the old...
Recently, I changed jobs. (I know, you're amazed that I don't make a living writing) I made the startling transition from a job that was... Since I like to keep a positive blog, let's just call it a bad fit. But I've heard scads of great things about this new employer, and I only hope they live up to the hype.
Last week, the new employer sent me to train in Portsmouth, NH, and I loved it. Portsmouth in general is an awesome place to be, but I found myself enjoying myself as I learned new systems, new contracts, and as I met new people. Great people, whom I hope to work with for some time.
But you know what I didn't have? My silly coworkers from the prior job, those with whom I grumbled about wacky callers and outlandish contract provisions, crunched corn nuts and got afternoon caffeine. My next to last day they presented me with a bag of the following items with which to remember them:
Two water bottels - one stainless steel, one with a stylized heart
Powdered creamer
Oatmeal packets
A stationary set
Corn nuts
Beef jerky
A banana slicer
A package of salted peanuts
A bottle of Dr. Pepper
A can of black cherry selltzer
Eight assorted Keurig cups (to give the creamer something to do)
A banana (for the slicer, obviously)
A pink lunchbag
Four kickers of vodka, all in different flavors
A framed photograph of us drinking Dr. Pepper with the salted peanuts added to the beverage. (I'd tell you why, but that's a whole 'nother post)
Three and a half years of friendship were distilled into the above list. Tomorrow, I go to my new office for the first time. I hope I'll have coworkers as awesome as them but really, how lucky can one girl get?