Jennifer Probst's Blog, page 6

Writing Wednesday: Why Editors are Critical

There are a few things people think of when they hear the word editor.

Deadlines.

A smart person dressed in a business suits with glasses who reads manuscripts all day.

A mysterious figure who takes you to lunch, and decides whether or not she likes your next book pitch and whether to shower you with money or make you starve.

A terrifying presence who can make you cry with one ruthless phrase written in the sidelines of your manuscript. For example: This Sucks.

I’ve held these images in my head when I was a young writer making my way up the ranks. Now, I look at editors with a completely different vision. These are the things I now see:

A person who suggests critical changes and rewrites of the book while relaying positivity and showering compliments to the crying writer on the other end of the email/phone.

A person who not only needs to balance the story ARCS and details, but be true to the author’s voice and vision, while always keeping the reader in mind. In other words, a proficient juggler.

A person who knows every hidden author secret. Like an author’s favorite words used over, and over, and over…and over… Or the tendencies to use a phrase so much, it becomes overkill and said editor would like to poke her eyes out with a stick.

A person who must deal with an author’s insistence that a reader will “get it” and there’s no need to tweak the scene to be clearer.

How about patiently suffering through an author’s secret passions for certain television shows, or products that is snuck into every book –Hello, Game of Thrones that is now officially over! Hello baby Yoda who will now be mentioned in the next four books before the trend fades away?

This person needs to ask hard questions that an author doesn’t care about when being creative. Such as when the hero throws the heroine on the desk and rips off her clothes and he’s her boss and she’s an intern – does this scream #METOO movement?

She must ask if your beloved hero is too much of an asshole to deal with. Or if the heroine is too wishy washy and will piss off your audience.

She is paid to whip your ass when you are lazy. I cannot tell you how many times I was exhausted and irritated with a manuscript and stuck something in there because I didn’t care anymore, never thinking that the editor will actually question me about such a tiny little thing.

But she did. Every. Single. Time. And yeah, it’s annoying Every. Single. Time.

Later, reading my completed book, I’m so damn happy she was mean to me.

Bottom line? Editors are critical to getting a book from rough draft to polished perfection. It is the editor that truly sees the diamond in the rough, and works tirelessly to polish until the layers of the story is revealed and told in the best way possible.

You see, my peeps, writing a book starts with you. It’s a story. It belongs to you. It is your precious. But an editor’s job is to strip it down and bring the light into the darkness, to question, and assess, and judge. She is a cheerleader, a therapist, a grammarian, a teacher.

She is a writer’s best friend.

Some books are gifts. Some are hell on earth. I’ve gotten both and learn to appreciate it all—even the books in between.

I think one of the things I remember most about my editor is during the time when my father died. I’d given myself a period off from writing, but I had to get back to it at some point. I remember every day facing that page and needing 2K. It was torturous and painful. Sometimes I’d be in my office till ten pm at night getting those words.

And there were many revisions. My editor hand held me through each re-write, pushing me closer to the finish line, and though my emotions were so raw I had trouble truly seeing the whole of the book, she did. It took 4-5 rewrites to get the story the way I’d originally imagined it. I’m so grateful for her help and vision.

Writers need to learn the best way to work with editors. It’s a process and a journey. You learn about each other’s hot buttons, likes and dislikes, and what is the best for the book.

A bad editor can make the process an ordeal and have you question your talent and your voice.

A good editor can take your writing to the next level without having you “sell” out.

I’m in re-writes now. For the next few weeks, I’ll be polishing to get to the gold, and each time it’s both exciting and nerve-wracking for me. Then it will be time to let the book out into the world, where it no longer belongs to me.

But for a little while longer, the book belongs to both of us.

Warm up with the Stay series

 

Jen’s Favorite Things

I love lists. I love when people share what they’re currently crushing on, and you don’t need to be Oprah to do it. I always listen to my fave authors when they recommend a book they love. But lately, there’s been a few things I’ve been a tiny bit obsessed with this New Year, and I thought it would be fun to take a quick break from the writing cave for a post.

Yeah, I know I haven’t been here in a while. I know I’ve been lacking a bit on social media. But I’ve decided the most important thing I can give you this upcoming year is more books, rather than constant status updates and random pics of my dogs. Oh, I’ll post some of those—I’m not giving any of my apps up, but I may be a tad less constant for my own creativity.

Anyhoo, here’s what I’ve been up to since January 1st and the things that have come into my life that I love or am grateful for. In no particular order:

1. Cheer – the docuseries on Netflix.

I highly recommend this show. It brings you into the heart of competitive cheerleading—which is fascinating enough—but the real draw are these kids. They are rawly honest, sharing their pasts, their dreams, their struggles, and heart aches. I feel like I know each one of them and want to give them a hug, to sit and talk to them and let them know how extraordinary they are. The coach is amazing the way she relates to them individually. Basically, if you are a writer, you need to watch this show. I am a character driven writer and I was buzzing with the need to sketch out people like this – real people who live both big and simple lives. If you’re not a writer, you’ll enjoy it anyway. A shout out to my joyous Jerry who taught me to be better just by sharing his story. And I love Lexi and would do anything to meet her. And Morgan. And Gabi. Oh, hell, ALL of them have become important to me!

2. Nounos low fat Greek yogurt.

Yep, yogurt made my list. I had this for the first time and am officially obsessed. The flavor of Coconut Mango is like dessert. It’s high in protein, low in sugar, satisfying, and tasty. I’m not a big dairy person so calcium is a problem, but now I eat these for breakfast and I’m more energetic and satisfied. Please note: this is my opinion. I’m no doctor or nutritionist. I just love this shit and want to share.

3. T25

In the new year, I made a commitment to my health. I’ve done it before – drink more water, lose weight, get fit. I try different things, too many mostly, end up starving myself, losing weight, then putting it back on with one party weekend. But I noticed I don’t feel good. I’m not moving. So, I really looked at my life to make changes that would actually work. Long term – not short term.

One of them was exercise. I used to be fit. I taught yoga. I meditated. I did kickboxing. I felt great. As I get older, it’s getting more difficult and time is a huge factor. 2 years ago, I purchased T25 with Sean T., did it for a week, declared I hated it, and packed it away. Goodbye one hundred fifty bucks. Hello, comfy couch.

I stumbled upon it looking for a dish, and took it out. Dusted the DVD’s off. And felt like it was a sign. 25 minutes of hard work outs a day. I could handle that. I tried it out for the first week and got hooked. It’s amazing to feel so damn good after such a short time, then go on with your life without driving home, or looking at a full hour lost and wondering how you were going to make it up. I waste half an hour all the time. Now I put it to good use.

It’s not about the weight this time. That will come. I want energy. I want to feel like I can run and play with my dogs without getting out of breath. I want to make my Fast Pass at Disney without huffing and puffing! I go at my own pace, and after 2 and half weeks, feel stronger and more fit. It’s made a big difference for my mental state.

4. Rob Thomas

I was extremely lucky to be able to attend The Sidewalk Angels Foundation benefit concert at the Borgata in Atlantic City. Rob Thomas – singer from Matchbox 20 – packs the place and sings all his songs in an intimate manner, giving us background on the songs, how he wrote them, and parts of his life that inspired them. ALL proceeds from the concert go to the Sidewalk Angels which is his charity started with his wife, Mari. Most of the funds go to animal rescue – which is close to my heart. One of his songs was even about his dog and not missing a moment in this life. Basically, for two nights, I was able to lose myself in his music and think about life with a new perspective. I was re-motivated, relaxed, and creative. I forgot how attending a concert can be such an amazing experience. So, I finished downloading every song he ever sang and have been listening to him and Matchbox 20 on repeat for days. Note: Matchbox 20 is going on tour this summer. I’d highly recommend it.

5. Becca Syme’s Course – Write Better Faster

Writers always want to do better. Market better, write better, sell better. But there are so many minefields which are completely unique to our lives and makes it difficult to be at our best. Enter this course, which uses a variety of tests to pinpoint individual strengths, using discussions, and one on one coaching. I wanted to start the year with a better mindset and get help with my obstacles. I’m now so much more aware of how my strengths can propel me forward, and by recognizing how my brain works, I can input systems that help rather than hinder. In a nutshell, if you are a writer and looking for help – take this class. Her book also rocks.

That’s it, my peeps! It’s always so nice to connect with you – please drop me a note and let me know if there’s anything you’re loving this new year!

The Top Five Reasons Frozen 2 Illustrates How to Write a Better Romance Novel

I just watched Frozen 2 with my boys this past weekend.

I laughed. I cried. I swooned. I sighed. And I realized I loved this sequel better than the first.

I went with my husband, sister in law, and my two boys. They all disagreed with me and said the first one was a lot better. More lighthearted. Funnier. Easier to watch.

I tried to argue, then realized why I was so passionate about this sequel.

I am a romance writer. And the geniuses at Disney did something that many movies miss the mark on. They created all the elements that I look for in a great book.

So, let’s break it down. If you haven’t seen the movie STOP RIGHT HERE.

THERE ARE SPOILERS!

For others still with me, let’s have fun with our analysis.

1. Kristoff was the type of romance hero readers adore.

Oh, Kristoff, how did I not realize your true potential and power? Was it hidden in Frozen and in the new installment you were finally able to shine without competition? This is a hero that is comfortable enough in his own skin to let his woman shine and go on her own adventures. He is not afraid of supporting her and being AT HER SIDE – and not desperately trying to prove how great he is as a leader. He doesn’t try to fix her problems.

The best part of Kristoff? He’s in touch with his feelings and has no problem expressing them. Oh, sure, he’s bumbling and awkward when trying to propose, but when it comes time to just tell the truth – he does. He keeps it simple but real. When Anna leaves him to go on a quest with her sister, he’s out of sorts. He worries if he’s enough for her. He wonders if he loves her more than she does him. This is all a natural part of loving someone –dealing with doubts and getting to the other side without losing your shit and damaging your relationship. Kristoff launches into a ballad that reminded me of those old eighties videos where men had no trouble singing large and loud about their feelings and I loved every second.

And when Anna returned and needed help the most, he swept in to do his part but never tried to take over. These are the words he utters: “I’m here. What do you need?” I almost collapsed from swooning over that romantic statement.

But the award for best line in the movie is: “My love is not fragile.” I wept with gratitude. This is what we want our heroes to be.

2. When bad things happen, we are sometimes overwhelmed and stuck in fear. But we move forward, in spite of all obstacles.

When Anna loses everyone she holds dear, she collapses into a state of panic and deep grief we all have experienced. Lying in the cave, alone, it seems easier to give up. Why go on? But she finds the strength to move onward, and it comes by just concentrating on doing one next thing. The next step in a long path ahead that can feel insurmountable. That one step eventually leads to another. It may be all you can do – but it is enough for now.

In Anne Lamott’s words: Bird by bird.

This scene is a reminder to all that we will experience terrible burden and tragedy in this life, and some will not get the happy ever after ending we imagined, but by taking a step forward, we have already beaten the odds.

Her song was inspiring and the type of traits I want my stories to resonate with.

3. Sometimes, we need to sacrifice something we love in order for the greater good.

When Anna realized her beloved city had been protected by lies and hate, she needed to make a decision to sacrifice it for the greater good. We make sacrifices every day with this in mind – for our children, for productivity, for happiness. It never gets easier but with practice, we are able to do it with better intention. Sometimes, we get lucky and get to keep both, like in Anna’s case.

Sometimes, we have to let one go and we don’t get it back.

This is a theme of life and love that is worth exploring in our books and characters. It is theme. By digging deep into these concepts, we get a richer story.

4. Everyone has their strengths.

Elsa has magical powers that Anna doesn’t. And as angry as Anna is to be left behind, and feel powerless at not being able to protect her sister, Elsa needs to use her magic on her own and not be worried about putting Anna in danger. It’s a tough choice but one she commits to whole heartedly. Some may question it, but I believe it is a part of knowing what strengths you have and do not.

Anna ends up saving Elsa, but Elsa uses her powers to give Anna the information she needs in order to save her. It’s a partnership – both bringing their own assets. It works in family and relationships. Kristoff’s strength is allowing Anna to use her full power without worrying if it will upset the male/female balance. He blooms in his support role, which is just as important as a main role. How often we forget that the ones on the sidelines and behind the stage are just as important – even though the audience doesn’t know they exist?

5. Secondary characters are just as important as primary.

Oh, Olaf. How I adore him. His friendship and humor evolved in this movie, and became even more than the first. When we lost him, I cried, because he was no regular secondary character, written into the story for a few laughs and distractions. He was part of the family. His words held deep meaning: “water has memory.” He’s grown up in this sequel, and I loved every moment of his screen time. Even his comedy was sharper: “I don’t even know a Samantha!”

It’s a reminder to flesh out our secondary characters and give them depth. Don’t be cliché. Don’t be shallow. Do the work as a writer to make them interesting and give the reader motivation to want more.

That’s it. Five important lessons from Frozen 2 to write a stronger story.

Thanks, Disney. You did it again.

The Stay series sale- $1.99 each

 

For the month of November, all 3 full-length books in the Stay series are on sale for only $1.99 EACH. 

 

Creating a Business Plan and a Mom Plan…by Jennifer Probst

Photo by Arnel Hasanovic on Unsplash

If we run a business, most of us have created a business plans.

I found this critical as my business grew, and I wrote new books, and took on a team to help make me successful. I try and tweak it each year, and sometimes sooner if I feel like I’ve begun to wander aimlessly in the thicket of woods that is called life.

Then I began to question something.

Why don’t we have motherhood battle plans? Five year? Two year? Hell, how about a six month plan?

Is it because we are raising tiny humans who have the ability to consistently surprise us, cause pain, unending joy, and scare the crap out of us?

Yeah, probably.

But I was walking the dog and thinking about my new business plan for 2020 and then I was thinking how damn proud I was of my boys. The things they are accomplishing humble me. From running cross country and working hard with their training and practice. To one going to the spelling bee and studying every night because if he failed he wanted to know he’d tried his damn best. To the oldest going to sing at Radio City Music Hall, all dressed up in a suit with a cummerbund ** a bright red one and bowtie** and he’s taller than me now and I got a flashback of what this was going to be like one day when he gets married. He wasn’t even nervous. He just said they’d practiced and they’d do great and there were over a thousand people in that sold out crowd and he just sang his heart out with his group and had a blast doing it. He knows how to SAVOR life. How did he get like this?

Sure, I’m positive I had something to do with it but not all. I know plenty of kick ass parents who just have kids who struggle. It’s a personality. Sometimes a mental illness. Sometimes just plain awful bad luck.

Hell, I could be here writing a blog in five years and talking about how my amazing boys have gone off the path and I’m crying every night trying to deal with it.

Life’s funny that way. The Unexpected.

So back to my motherhood business plan, wouldn’t it be amazing if we could plot out some tools or goals to accomplish with our children?

As a writer, I use a staff of people, a planner, and a budget. What if I could take all these things and apply it to being a better Mom – or the Mom I’d like to be?

After all, I’ve experienced more epic mom fails than I have successes. Looking back, these are some things I’d like to change:

The time I lost my shit and told my son I was going to burn his favorite stuffed rabbit. I know. I should go to hell for this one. I still may.

All the tight shoes and short pants I made my boys wore throughout the years, including Pajama Day and Picture Day and Concert Day.

They eat tons of desserts and my mother is always warning me they’re gonna get the diabetes because they don’t eat enough healthy things.

I let them stay up too late and on weekends and summer there is no bed time.

I should make them eat a more varied diet like so many other children. My son went to a banquet buffet and when I asked him what he ate, he told me two rolls and dessert. I wanted to cry.

My kids know every fast food and chain restaurant known to man, and argue about which ones are the best. When I was growing up, eating out was an occasional splurge other than pizza.

I buy them pretty much what they want because they’re so damn good and rarely ask for stuff so when they do ask, I buy. Because it makes ME feel good.

I don’t make them do enough chores. I just do it for them.

I tell them they’re not allowed to marry anyone I don’t like.

I tell them they can’t move away from me and leave me alone with my husband.

Okay, so listen, this is not a blog post -it’s a BOOK that’s how many fails I have.

But then when there’s a success, I don’t want to gloss over it too easily either. I earned these successes by showing up every day and being a Mom. I want to revel in all of this stuff and feel like a Superwoman. Look at my boys! Aren’t they amazing? Aren’t I the best mom EVER?

So, why can’t I? If the bad outweighs the good, what’s wrong with puffing up with pride and savoring every moment of sweet victory?

And why don’t I ever do this with my writing? It’s a struggle there, too. I get a dozen five-star reviews and raves. I get one review that says she didn’t like my book, and suddenly I’m in the toilet, realizing I suck as a writer – that I am a FAILURE over one stupid, lousy, comment. Why do I do this to myself?

My upcoming year I’m going to put steps in to changing some of that. I may not succeed completely, but even if I improve, I’ll be ahead of the game. I’m celebrating more – on the personal and work front. Why are women so trained to think of relishing each success as ego? Why are we so afraid to look like we’re bragging? Why do we think humble means not saying anything at all, keeping our head down, and just hoping for our piece of the pie?

The hell with that. I’m taking it for myself. In fact, I’ve been training for this most of my life, as I aged and realized if I don’t speak up, no one will on my behalf. And that I can be kind, and humble, but still proud and roar like a lioness.

I’m also going to make a Mommy Plan. It will be a good education to really think over what I feel is important I bring to my children as a parent. Why not go about being a mom as a thoughtful, individualized goal plan?

Here’s a rough draft of what mine looks like.

One Year Plan:

Talk to my boys about sex and EMOTION. Relationships with girls and how best to communicate and keep true to themselves. To speak up against anything they see if they’re at a party, or in the hallways, and if either sees someone they think may be in trouble—don’t walk away. Do something.

Play more games with them – especially board games.

Take each of my sons on a personal one on one date to spend time together and do what they each like. We spend a lot of time together but I think I need more individual, thoughtful time.

Volunteer for something together to do as a family.

Work on limiting their desserts at night.

That’s it for now. Small, honed-in steps to make us all better and grow together.

I’m excited for my future writing career as 2020 unfolds and the projects I plan to undertake.

I’m excited to be a Mom and watch my boys grow and change, and I want to be a healthy part of it.

Are you making a business plan, personal plan, or Mom plan? Don’t wait for New Year’s. As darkness falls and holidays slowly crawl in, I think it’s a great time to take stock and do some restock.

PS: I have a new book out today – Something Just Like This. It’s a sexy political romance without the politics and I hope you love it! Just go ahead and click on the HOME page and BUY. It’s good. Really, really good.

How To Write a Book in 30 Days (Kind of)

It’s been a hell of a year.

I knew back in January it’d be a challenge. I had decided to take on more travel than I’ve had before—I was honored to be invited as a keynote speaker and teach a masterclass, and then there were some conferences I needed to attend, including Paris (because who says NO to a signing in Paris?!) and I also needed to write books.

A lot of books. Again, I didn’t plan it because sometimes things happen that you need to jump on with contracts – but when 2019 unfolded I realized I needed to write 5 books in a year that I wasn’t around much.

Hmm. Good thing I love a challenge.

It went much better than I expected. The first three books I churned out had some ups and downs. At one point, I went into panic mode about my first women’s fiction novel, but it ended up being a gift and a treasure and a book I’m so excited about –I’m counting down the days to the release.

But what happened to me probably happens to many other writers who are writing full time and suddenly find their work schedule/family life/travel life intercepts and explodes. We look up one normal, every-day morning, and realize OUR BOOK IS DUE IN THIRTY DAYS.

One month to write a book.

In some households, this is called NANOWRIMO. For those who are not familiar with the term, it’s National Novel Writing Month which is always held in November and encourages writers and anyone who dreams of writing a book to write it in thirty days. Balls to the wall type of guerilla writing.

Now, I like to be able to CHOOSE to participate in this program, but this month, I’m forced into it. Because I woke up on October 14th and started my brand new book, realizing it must be delivered in thirty days.

How shall I do this?

I will explain how, and teach you how to do it, too.

Kind of.

First off, anyone can write a book in thirty days. It’s the type of book you write. We’ve all seen The Shining, and we can just type All Work and No Play Makes Jen a Dull Girl over and over and call it a book. I’m talking about a book with a plot, strong characters, a growth ARC, an interesting setting, with some type of theme, great banter, sexual tension and the all-important emotion.

No problem.

Now, I would recommend a few things to start. One—make it a second or third book in a series. The first one is too hard – you’re setting up an entire world and arc of additional books and need more time to do it justice. But with second and third in series, you pretty much know the characters you are going to write, and you are familiar with the world. You can even lean on your first couple to give you some confidence, reminding yourself you did this once and they ended up great and readers loved them.

Writers need to take props anywhere they can.

Another thing is: this works much better for seasoned writers. Let’s be honest, a newbie is still learning, and putting pressure to write a decent book in thirty days is too much. You need time to learn the craft well, and though there’s nothing wrong putting out a first draft, you shouldn’t be pressuring yourself to actually make it decent for public consumption at this point. You have much more work to do. Take the time and do it, but commit to getting your initial draft on paper – that will be a great starting point.

Now, with these two caveats in mind, let’s move forward.

I started by sketching out a few paragraphs about the characters. Physical attributes, hopes and dreams, some fears, their goals and motivations, etc. Then I bullet pointed some big scenes or turning points that got my juices flowing. Sketched in the greyish type black moment I thought could happen. This is very rough outlining and can veer off the path quickly – this is the kind of outlining I like. I need the surprises to keep me writing along the way. If you’re a plotter, you may want to take more time to plot it out but not too much—the bulk of it has to be writing.

Then, I look at my month and I take out days where big activities are happening, or appointments, or holidays. I try to be realistic about what I could expect to write. Sometimes I give myself a day off on the weekend. Sometimes, I estimate 2-3K per day instead of 5-6. You need to be ruthless and honest looking at your month but also be balanced. If you’re gonna get all ruthless on your ass and pretend you need no down time, you are probably going to stumble. By giving myself some time off with permission, I escape the dreaded funnel where I’m sinking fast and blame it all on that hour my husband’s car broke down and I had to drive across town to pick him up and missed a good 2K of words.

At the end of this, your book must total your word count. If your contract says 70K I go with that. If it says 100K I feel very sorry for you. Hopefully, it’s more like 50K which is a more reasonable amount to push in one month.

Then, write. Write to your schedule. Write no matter what surprises pops up along the way—including a brand new season of your favorite show on Netflix. Practice saying no to things. NO to cooking. No to favors. No to going out to dinner with friends for a three hour fun night. No to laundry. No to the kids. One month of No to anything but the writing – which includes your tight social media schedule, those extra cute posts on IG, blogging, promo work, FB ads, etc.

Just say yes to writing.

There will be many times you want to die or scrub toilets rather than see the blank page. If you’re a writer who needs to write in logical order and are blocked, you may need to jump around and write a scene that’s more interesting. You may need to do things you thought you’d never do before. You may need to change POV’s in a scene. You may need to write really stupid scenes just to keep going and get momentum. Your main primary focus is MOTION.

An object in motion has momentum. More writing begets more writing, not the opposite. It becomes a habit ingrained in the core of who you are, a fingerprint on the keyboard, a constant whispering in your ear that says more, more, more.

Write messy. Write raw. Write honest.

Now, the most important thing moving forward after this mess of a draft is TO RELY ON YOUR EDITOR.

A good editor saves me. My editor is pure gold. As I write the draft, I will put in XXX (some put in TK) where I’d normally need to do research, but I don’t want to take the time to lose momentum. Also, I know where scenes are weak and I will put it in there as a red flag for the editor to take a look at.

I will give my editor my own notes on what troubles me on the book. I will ask for help in suggesting a better ending, or black moment. I use my editor because I hired her and she’s excellent at her job.

Give her a job to do.

While she’s working on that, I begin my research that I left away. I fill in blanks. I tweak things I suddenly understand because I finished the book. I’m clearer and know how to fix shit.

What comes back is suddenly a form you can work on and shape into a good book. Now, you know the characters. You can go back and layer. Make it stronger. Tighten.

The next round is faster –you’re getting closer—and if you’re breathing this book, you can get a quick turnaround again for the final third draft.

That’s the one that goes to copyedits.

So, are you really writing a book in thirty days?

No. More like 45 if you include your edits.

I bet you’re asking if I’m afraid the book will be weaker than my others because I rushed it.

The answer?

No, I’m not. I know a good book when I write one—whether it’s fast or slow. The fast ones are like immersing myself so deep, I don’t see or hear anyone else but my characters. It’s harder to live with me during those books because I’m not really here. I’m in the book. I dream about it. I have conversations in my head with the characters rather than my family. It drives me forward –the momentum—but it’s still good stuff.

Also, I am able to do this and know it’s good because I have forty books behind me. My Muse and my subconscious takes over more and I can let them. I couldn’t have written a book that fast when I had only ten books to my name. It would have been sloppy. But with so many hundreds of hours logged in from writing (I’ve been writing book after book since I was 12 years old) my professional instinct and knowledge kicks in and helps level up.

My job is to trust that instinct and let go. Not fight it. Not fight my process, but surrender to it. That’s how my best work develops.

Now, I would rather choose to write a book in three months, it’s much more comfortable for me. I can take my time and play. Layer. Breathe. But once in a while, this needs to be done, and I rise to the challenge.

So, can you.

For everyone out there pursuing their dream of writing a book – you can do it. Go big. Go deep. Write every day. Push harder than you think you can handle. Say no.

Happy NanWrimo.

The Top Ten Signs You May be Crazy (aka a WRITER)

Recently, I’ve had the opportunity to spend time with my writing peeps. My tribe, so to speak. I’ve had a few events back to back, and began to realize how crazy I feel most of the time. Except when I’m with other writers.

Then I feel completely normal.

It’s a good lesson to be reminded of, because sometimes, I’m a bit fearful my husband is looking at me like he’s been inventorying institutional homes for people like me.

All of this togetherness with my tribe led me to begin thinking of all those signs I exhibit that society would term *special*. For all the writers out there struggling to make sense of it all, here’s a handy dandy list to refer to. If you can cross off at least eight of these warning signs – don’t worry about flunking that psychological test.

The diagnosis?

You’re just a writer.

I’m very sorry. Good luck.

1. You Talk to Yourself -this is the biggest sign something is amiss. There are voices in my head—All the time! And I find myself my own best company. I figure things out by muttering, mumbling, and sometimes announcing amazing things my brain has been chewing on. This is how I fix plot holes, herd unruly characters, or just whine about how hard my life really is being trapped in a tiny room for endless hours in the day with no water cooler talk to help burn off some of the crazy. Oh, and if you still talk to yourself when there are people around, congratulations. You’re probably an extremely talented writer.

2. You Talk to Your Pet – Writers have pets. Writers need pets. Cats or dogs are the primary companion of choice, but I know many who have rabbits, birds, cows, chickens, or horses. Anything goes in the furry world. Basically, this is the only other person you talk to other than yourself. The bond with my dog goes deeper than any other relationship in my life because she loves me no matter what, and is actually happy to listen to me babble on about my manuscript without getting bored.

3. Ninety five percent of the time, you look like a homeless person. Yeah, it was a sad day when my kids decided the bus was better than other people seeing me pick them up. I guess crazy, tangled, unwashed hair, pajama pants, slip on sandals or slippers, and a giant fake fur coat even in spring isn’t a normal look for parents. When I wear normal clothes and comb my hair, they all gather around and compliment me on how pretty I look. Just get used to it—your wardrobe will never change. And forget about all those designer shoes you love to buy—most of the time you’re barefoot or will stuff your feet into the first thing you see. Goodbye Louboutin’s. Those are for real working people.

4. The word DEADLINE puts you into a fearful frenzy, along with your entire family. It’s funny that the definition seems harmless, and Webster doesn’t even warn you about the trigger effects for writers. When approaching deadline, everything crumbles around me. There is no more food; there is no rational conversation, and the children raise themselves. I’m pretty much a sobbing mess who never leaves my office, and I eat when my husband stands at my door and throws food in, like an animal at the zoo. My appearance suffers –see #3 above but worse.

5. You feel like an imposter and a failure the majority of the time. Do you believe your books are written by magic, and that you got lucky the last thirty-three times, but THIS time everyone will figure out you’ve been a fraud? Are you concerned that this is the project that will tank your entire career? Do you march into the kitchen and announce the house must be sold because there will be NO more money available after this horrible, awful, no-good book is finally published because it SUCKS? If so, don’t worry. This is the way you will feel for the rest of your life so buckle up baby, and get used to it.

6. Your Google Search Engine is Flagged by the Federal Government. Honestly? We look like either sexual predator/perverts or a terrorist. The stuff I’ve looked up online is embarrassing and scary. It encompasses – what is the best weapon to murder someone with in order to cover up the crime? – to How do you use chains and rope to tie someone up for safe sex—and of course, How do you start a meth lab on your own? Just make peace with it. You’re going to be on the hot list for a long, long time.

7. You believe that imaginary characters are REAL. I talk about my heroes and heroines as regular people, because to me, they are. They live and breathe, they had struggles and failures, and they eventually fought to the end to give readers hope. I created them. My heroes sleep in the bed with me next to my husband (creepy image, right?) and when people ask about my favorites, they grumble and fight in my head because they don’t want to hear me choose. Once, my mother asked me if I could please stop using so many curse words in my book. When I explained I had nothing to do with it—it’s up to the character—she got annoyed and said I was the one who controlled everything and that I could just make them stop cursing. Boy, I wish. I wish I had control, because I’m just the director, taking orders from the characters to sketch out their story.

8. You hate people. – I have begged my husband numerous times to put up a barbed wired, electric, prison type fence so no one can get in. Or out. I dread going “out there” and being forced to talk to actual people I didn’t create. It’s hard and stressful. My brain is always foggy. And real people want you to wear real pants. That sucks.

9. You rarely leave the house. Listen, I’m old now but I was forced to go out into the world too many times because we had nothing like Amazon, Walmart pick up, Pea Pod grocery delivery, or Uber Eats. Simply put – there is no good reason you need to go out there anyway. Once they start delivering wine to my door, I’ve passed my last obstacle.

10. You like to drink. Yeah, that’s right. I’m not afraid to put this on the list. And don’t get me wrong, I love my wine, but my real obsession is coffee in all its lovely forms. You need something in your cup because sitting at a desk for long hours with no one around practically demands you get to sip at some type of liquid that gives you pleasure. Hot cocoa, iced tea, flavored seltzers, sodas, lemonade, etc. My preference is coffee most of the morning, water/seltzer/tea all afternoon, and wine at night. Aren’t we blessed it’s pumpkin spice season?

That’s it. The top ten. If you do at least seven of these things, you may want to admit you’re a writer or a wannabe writer. All you have to do to change from a wannabe writer to a real writer is sit down and put some words on the page. Just write – a lot – and you’ll figure out the rest later.

I just typed THE END on my latest book today, and besides feeling like cotton balls have been stuffed in my head, I’m also pretty elated. All that hard work and creating a story from nothing worked out again.

Tomorrow, I get to start the whole process over, and you better believe I’ll hit every item on this list.

Peace out, my peeps. Happy writing and Happy Fall.

Then…and Now…

Ten years ago, I wrote my first blog post on my brand new website. It was called Musings of a Soccer Mom. My son was 4 years old and had just started pee wee soccer.

I was overwhelmed with his refusal to play on the team. The coach was super nice and supportive, and would offer him ice pops in reward for trying to get on the field. When he did play, my son would wander around, lost in his thoughts, like Ferdinand the Bull who only wanted to laze about and smell the flowers. Soccer was this exciting, stressful, new thing in my life and I though it would be fun to write a mommy blog post as I maneuvered my way through toddler hood with two young boys in diapers.

Boy, have things changed.

I just picked my son up from practice at track. He’s taller than me and eats more than I can buy. I can smell his sneakers from ten miles away and am always armed with Febreze. He’s super fast and running with the seniors on varsity, though he’s only a freshman. He’s in advanced classes and starts his first year of high school.

Now, I worry about other things. Keeping him safe. Helping him navigate the beginning of adulthood. Supporting him through a schedule packed with way too many activities and too much pressure from…everyone. And I thought today – my Lord, what I would give to just have one more hour on that soccer field, laughing and shaking my head when he refused to play because he was too lazy to run after a ball in a crowd.

I wasn’t writing full time then. I was hopeful, full of dreams and goals and motivations that burned fiercely within and never flickered out. I was determined to make it—so I was writing around the clock, juggling being a mom and a day job with a long commute, and since I was broke, I learned everything on my own. How to do a website, how to market myself, how to set up all my social media accounts and organically grow fans. My research hours were almost as much as my writing hours but I also felt like I was moving forward.

You need to be brave and push hard when you’re focused on a big dream. And many times, no one will give you the answers. You need to find them yourself.

But the payoff? Definitely worth it.

Thinking about the past and the present made me realize it’s just as important to assess and be grateful for where you currently are – and all the successes and failures that put you here. We all need to be proud of what we’ve accomplished, yet we are our harshest critics. We crave better; bigger; faster; more.

Now, I have more than forty published books behind me. I thought back then if I could ever get to this place, everything would be easier. Writing would be easier. Life would be easier. Isn’t it supposed to once you achieve the dream you always wanted?

It’s not. It’s different. Like motherhood, my problems seem more grown-up, though you can’t compare because I was different then years ago. Now, I worry about selling enough, being a good enough writer, keeping it fresh and relevant, not disappointing my team. The stakes seem higher. Every book is analyzed for branding, content, marketability. There is less PLAYTIME.

I’m not complaining. I love being a mom of teenage boys. I love being a full time writer.

But taking a breath and a smile could be the most important thing we do for ourselves. I made mistakes as a Mom, but I’m proud of who my boys are, and how I helped them in the process. I’m proud of the writer I’ve emerged into, even with the multiple errors and failures along the way.

Take the moment and appreciate yourself and how you’ve changed.

Take a breath and appreciate all you have, even if it’s changed.

I wish everyone a happy, healthy, successful school year!

Hailey: A Dream of Hope – An Important Announcement for Children’s Cancer Awareness Month

I’ve been blessed to meet many people in my journey here, and sometimes relationships spark for many different reasons—including friendship.

I met Kristen when I moved into my neighborhood, and her two beautiful daughters: Brooke and Hailey. I learned about Hailey being diagnosed with leukemia when she was just over a year old, and the painful struggles Kristen and her family dealt with over time. They were warriors – fierce in battle and strong of heart. They all believed, as did we, that Hailey would triumph.

But some stories don’t end in happy ever after, and when Hailey lost the war with cancer, the people she left behind were devastated beyond capacity.

Over the past two years, Kristen had wanted to write a book about her journey with Hailey to help other parents. It’s powerful to tell your story, and reach out to others with vulnerability and honesty.

I was lucky enough to know the writing business to guide her on the publishing journey, and I’m thrilled to share the result.

Hailey: A Dream of Hope is now available in ebook and print everywhere. The book is a compilation of daily and weekly blog posts by Kristen chronicling Hailey and her family’s journey with cancer. It is raw. It is heartbreaking. It is about love and strength, and healing and community.

Reading it changed my life.

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Hailey-Dream-Hope-Kristen-Niclaus-ebook/dp/B07XCFWHLM/

Print: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1689460296/

B&N: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/hailey-kristen-niclaus/1133314395?ean=2940160812267

Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/hailey-a-dream-of-hope

Ibooks: Coming Soon!

I hope you buy the book, or gift to a friend, or keep it in mind if you hear of someone who may need to read it. A portion of all proceeds will be donated to Hope and Heroes – an organization dedicated to childhood cancer research.

In our day to day routine, we forget how many people are dealing with this type of heartbreak, yet they face each morning like the superheroes we see on the movie screen. But these heroes are quieter. Braver. Somewhat broken.

And they are real.

I was shocked to learn how low the funding is for childhood cancer research. This is the direct link to donate to the Hailey Niclaus Fund for Hope & Heroes.

https://hopeandheroes.org/

Let’s do all we can to help focus on this important cause, especially during September for Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.

I’m happy to be joining Kristen at her first book signing on Saturday, September 28th at The Barking Goose Bookstore at 1 N Plank Rd, Newburgh at 1PM. Please come by to get your book signed, and help donate towards Hope and Heroes. Looking forward to seeing you….and please share!!!!