Jennifer Probst's Blog, page 29

TIME MANAGEMENT AT SAVVY AUTHORS

Hello my peeps! Happy Belated Passover and Happy Easter!

I am honored to guest blog today over at the Savvy Authors Website. This is a fantastic site for writers and readers.

I'm talking about time management and I'd love some company. Click on the following link and leave me a comment – or leave me a comment right here!

http://www.savvyauthors.com

Next week I'm gearing up for some other guest blogs and the free jewelry giveaway for The Tantric Principle.

I'd like to leave you with a poem I have posted in my office from St. Theresa. It reminds me on a daily basis to try and be a better person, and inspires me to do better. I believe it's more spiritual than religious. Hope you enjoy it.

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway.

 If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; succeed anyway.

 If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway.

 What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; build anyway.

 If you find serenity and happiness they may be jealous; be happy anyway

 The good you do today, people will forget tomorrow; do good anyway.

 Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; give the world the best you have anyway.

 You see in the final analysis, it is between you and God; it never was between you and them anyway.

LOVE LETTERS…

I was cleaning out some drawers the other day and my hands closed around a worn envelope. When I dragged it out, I saw a familiar old scrawl and my heart did an actual pitter patter.  I slowly pulled out the white paper. Unfolded it carefully. The rustle rose up to my ears as sweet as Beethoven. Then read it.

 My dearest love…

And so it began.

An old lover who'd made an impression on my life but was not meant to be my soul-mate. Writing his feelings, stark, and haunted, and passionate, in a bold blue scrawl. It was poetry, and a romance novel, and a symphony in one hard twist. His words carried me back to the precise moment I opened his letter; my uncertainty about our relationship, my trembling fingers as he poured out his heart, the patter of rain against the windowsill in the background as I read his words.

Ahhh, the love letter.

Is there anything as romantic and passionate in its simplicity as words written on a plain piece of paper from someone we love? For a lover of words, or someone who is good at expressing his or her feelings but can't handle the verbal exchange, the love letter is the savior and the last stand of romantic love.

Words are still just as powerful today. We may write them on Twitter and email and Facebook, but we are still writing to express humor, frustration, passion, or love.  A friend of mine once had a boyfriend who sent note cards in the mail with one mysterious sentence such as, Thinking of tonight….I caught your scent and looked for you today….You are my heart…

Those note cards were more exciting than receiving a text or email. Something about a letter received through the mail makes the exchange seem extra special.

So, my old lover got me thinking about the history of love letters. I perused one of my favorite books (citation below) which details actual love letters throughout history. I posted some excerpts below:

"I already love in you your beauty, but I am only beginning to love in you that which is eternal and ever precious – your heart, your soul. Beauty one could get to know and fall in love with in one hour and cease to love it as speedily; but the soul one must learn to know. Believe me, nothing on earth is given without labour, even love, the most beautiful and natural of feelings." –Count Leo Tolstoi, Russian writer, to Valeria Arsenev, his fiancée. November 2nd 1856/

"Carry me off into the blue skies of tender loves, roll me in dark clouds, trample me with your thunderstorms, break me in your angry rages. But love me, my adored lover." Sarah Bernhardt, French actress, to Jean Richepin, French writer, in 1883

"Sometimes I have a rush of feeling, that seems like the passage of a spirit through me, and ought to flow to you like blessing. This is the most beautiful feeling I ever experienced; it is indeed divine, and too much for mortal force: there is no music for it; it can never, I fear me, be expressed…Like sunset it cannot be remembered." Margaret Fuller, American writer and critic, to James Nathan, April 22nd 1845.

"I lie awake the greatest part of the night in thinking of you…my feet carry me of their own accord to your apartment at those hours I used to visit you; but not finding you there, I return with as much sorrow and disappointment as an excluded lover." Pliny the Younger, Roman writer, to Calpurnia, his third wife 1st century AD.

My husband never wrote me a love letter and would probably laugh out loud at the idea of trying to come up with one. But one afternoon, I was searching for my husband's birth certificate in the drawer he keeps his important papers. My fingers closed around a napkin. I cursed under my breath at finding garbage in his bureau, and pulled it out. Carefully folded, I opened the napkin and found my own handwriting. With sheer astonishment, I realized my husband had kept the cocktail napkin where I wrote my name and phone number on the night we met at a bar. Nine years ago.

My heart light, a smile on my lips, I folded the napkin and tucked it back in. That was my own love letter to him. And he has kept it.

Writers are lovers of words. Romance novelists are in the profession of love and happily ever afters.  A love letter is a tool for our profession.

 Imagine your hero sitting down and writing out a letter to the heroine. It can be a sentence, a paragraph, or a page. It can be sarcastic, passionate, humorous, or confused. What he says in the letter can give you an insight into his character and how he expresses himself with the heroine.

I now find myself the writer of another type of love letter. Each morning I tuck a simple note in my son's lunchbox. He is learning to read, and is delighted by these surprise notes which help him discover words and lets him know every day that I love him. You are my best friend…I love you sooooo much…Have a wonderful day my big boy….

I complete these love notes with suns and happy faces in magic marker. I treasure these letters and his eagerness to revel in my feelings and words. He tries his own hand at one and surprises me at odd times during the week…I Luv You Mom…You r the best…with little hearts drawn and his signature in large awkward letters adorning the page like the sweetest of perfumes.

One day, I hope he will write his own love letter to a very lucky lady. But until then, his words and letters belong to me. They are tucked away in the back of my bureau in a neat pile where they will remain until one day, I will reach in the drawer when my son is older, and reread them, and remember…

Stop by and share your experience with love letters – receiving, writing, or just appreciating your favorite.

 Lovric,  Michelle. Love Letters: An Anthology of Passion. Shooting Star Press, NY 1994.

Interview…

Happy Tuesday!

The fantastic Nya Rawlins is interviewing me at her website today. Stop by and say hello!

http://www.romancingwords.com/emerging-authors-interviews.html

We also have a brand new blog about Guilty Pleasures at 4badmommies. Drop on by at http://4badmommies.com

More to come later in the week – stay tuned!

A LITTLE BIT OF THIS…AND THAT…

Happy Wednesday!

I'm celebrating hump day with a new blog on the eredsage site to promote my new release, The Tantric Principle, coming Friday April 1st to a Kindle or Nook near you!

Want to learn the truth about tantra? Hope on over to http://www.eredsage.com/blog/ and leave me a comment!

For all of you mommies out there – you will find an hysterical post by Wild Rose Press Author Clover Autrey and the the joys of teen embarassment at my other blog:

http://4badmommies.com Comment and show her some love!

Then to top it all off, I will be with the other Red Sage Authors on Thursday evening, 3/31, for a Red Hot Author Chat at Coffeetime Romance. This is a fantastic opportunity to chat with the authors, win awesome prizes, and have some fun. My feature is from 10:00pm – 11:00pm but I will be there from 8:00pm onward to peek in so come visit us!

Prizes will be issued every hour – you don't want to miss it!

Click on the following link: http://coffeetimeromance.com/board/forumdisplay.php?f=435

Stay tuned for more in the upcoming week!

A BAD DAY…

We all have bad days. As writers…as mommies…as human beings. Some are worse than others, but I'm concentrating more on the incidents that make up a bad day rather than some disastrous news that slaps the breath out of you and leaves you clawing for footing.

 A normal, run of the mill, bad day.

 Ever feel like a book is going on track big time? You're excited, motivated to write at least a 1,000 words per day and send something great into your editor? And then you get a rejection in the mail from something you sent out months ago, and then you get an email from a short story editor who says she liked your story but not enough to buy it, and you go back to your novel, somewhat deflated, and realize you have no idea what you're doing? That you will probably write this book and not be guaranteed any type of sale? Kind of like a series of sucker punches that deflates the happy motivation and dreams of accomplishing publication? It can come to the published or unpublished, at any time.  I usually stumble a bit off track, give myself a pity party and move on. But this can constitute a bad day.

 I love being a mom, but sometimes, it's completely exhausting. Getting up early, rushing around, dressing, bathing, cooking breakfast, while the house gets trashed – get them off to school – come home, clean up, do dishes, answer email, make a phone call, let the dogs out, pay a bill, go pick the little one up, then do lunch, stop at the library, the grocery store, give him a snack, play toys, clean up, play a game, read books, clean up, pick up the older one from school, do homework, make dinner, clean up, play, then get ready for bedtime? That's a normal day. How about a bad day? When the dogs get into the garbage and coffee grinds fall all over? When the little one spills the cup of chocolate milk he INSISTED he can handle and the tablecloth is soaked, along with his clothes? And then the dog throws up from eating the coffee grinds and you are scrubbing the carpet? And the oil bill comes in and it's $100 more per month and you get a little note that says oil has gone up and you have to make up for it in your budget – so sorry? And you realize there's a birthday party tomorrow and you have no gift and have to drag the kids to the toy store while they whine and cry for something…anything…for themselves? Yeah. Sometimes it's just a bad day.

The good news? It passes. Routine and sunshine and hopes of a better day reign bright when we open our eyes again. We have the unique opportunity to try again.

I found this video on You Tube and laughed so hard, I immediately felt better. Wanted to share with you and hope, my peeps,  you have a good day. This poor woman DID NOT.

 It's called A BADMOMMY DAY:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6RqbDfRU4M

 Enjoy!

 Please check out my other blog at http://4badmommies.com and get a laugh from a mom immersed in Teen Dating.

HAPPILY EVER AFTERS…

My boys are into Star Wars right now. Fine with me, I am not as savvy with superheroes as the Star Wars series. I have seen all the movies, know the characters, and actually adore Yoda for his spiritual perception.

Since I am now home, my little one stalks me and begs me to play. I enjoy playing with my kids, but must admit many times there are so many thoughts of things I have to do and things I want to do, I am a bit frustrated sitting in the room surrounded by stuffed animals and listening to his step by step instructions. In my effort to be more conscious of my moments here in life, especially amidst so many tragedies, I am trying to go with the flow and enjoy.

This morning we lined up all 10 stuffed animals and named each one of them from the Star Wars Bible: a list of heroes and villains and a description. Once we had our cast, I must follow my son's instructions on what to say and the rules of the game. I've found him playing with his friends and brother and he's not the pushy sort – he is very give and take but there is something about his mother that unveils his bossy side. I have to play by his rules.

Lately, I have found his rules much more enjoyable than mine.

Rule number 1: No one dies. He tells me this solemnly each time we begin playing. There are great battles of good versus evil and many get hurt. But they are never dead. They each get up after the injury completely heals, and are issued an apology from the bad guy who hurt them. This would make the world a better place.

Rule number 2: Every one gets to play. Each character has a part – even a one liner – and is involved as a group effort.

Rule number 3: Everyone must have fun.  There is singing, dancing, building of forts and swamps, and great creatures all around us. When my son senses my growing distress as time ticks on, he literally grabs my chin and makes me focus on his face, like I am the child and he is the parent. Then he says my name.  "Mommy." And I am brought back.

Rule number 4: There is always a happy ending.

This morning's play time sparked my creativity about life and writing. Why is it so bad to crave a happily ever after? We should be aware of the bad in the world, but we need to hold on to the belief that good will triumph.  Solid play time is needed in all of our lives and so easily dismissed with a wave of the hand and a sniff about "real life." Play is real life.

Writing is a form of play that keeps me alive. It is also a reminder to make sure your characters play. If every section of dialogue is serious; if each plot twist is so fast we don't have time to breathe; and if your characters don't seem to be able to laugh, I don't think you are doing your character justice. I love to create a quirk or a funny secret for each of my characters. In The Tantric Principle, my heroine curses like a truck driver; says anything on her mind; but will melt at the first sight of a furry animal, especially a dog. Interaction with animals and children always lighten things up and bring out a character's playful side. Another way is giving a character a hobby he/she is passionate about – the quirkier the better.  In my novel, The Marriage Bargain, my heroine is a fanatic about baseball – particularly the NY Mets. This, of course, is a perfect contradiction to the hero's love for the winning Yankees, and becomes a funny way to bring out their personalities.

Sometimes, a happily ever after can be a short chapter of afternoon playtime; a solitary cup of coffee; or the wonderful two words we type after a finished manuscript: The End.

I wish all of you a little play – for you, your children, and your characters.

THE POWER OF A "GOOD READ"

I have been on a reading kick lately and quite productive. More so than my writing, I must confess. Picking up a great book is akin to finding a great love – but it's an affair – not a lasting soul-mate. I have been a bit fickle with my choices, a little romance, a little mystery, a little mainstream. I read a great old traditional Iris Johansen novel a few weeks ago, entitled White Satin, and I felt transcended into my past. Flash back to the old Loveswept series sold in the supermarkets and read in a heated, fervor evening of passion. Sighing over alpha males and maddening conflict in true roller coaster ride fashion.  Taken away from my daily problems of boys and dating and awkwardness – those books gave me something to hope and dream about. Unfortunately, too many critics cite the traditional romance as giving women false expectations. So untrue. They gave me something to escape from – I knew reality better than anyone and was under no false expectations.  But they certainly made my world a bit prettier for a while, and that is something quite special in this life.

I moved on to the Girl with a Dragon Tattoo series. I confess I refused to read them in the height of the series popularity over the summer. Every beach bum had a copy in hand and I don't like to rush head first into trends. I wait and bide my time. When the fervor begins to die down, I circle the book like a predator and think before I commit. So, I committed and though I found the first book slow for the first quarter – the lure of the heroine overcame any weakness. Damaged, brilliant, vengeful and interesting – there hasn't been such a complicated, intriguing heroine in a long time. She had me at hello, so I tore through the rest of the series like a weekend fling and came out panting and satisfied.

Then Susan Elizabeth Phillips, my idol. Call Me Irresistible was the perfect complement to the darkness of the Tattoo series. This was the first book we didn't get the hero's viewpoint, and the master of the humorous romance used this to her sweet advantage. Not knowing what he was thinking drove me and the heroine crazy. I laughed out loud at the small town antics and adored the impulsive, headstrong heroine who was not classically beautiful and and had to clean toilets to survive. Again, I was transported into another time and place, where great sex rules, and that first falling in love experience was mine all over again. And I wasn't even technically cheating on my fantastic husband. HOW COOL IS THAT?

I am currently reading Emily Griffin's  Heart of the Matter. I like her as an author – some of her books much better than others, but I was immediately engulfed in the two main character's lives. The author grabbed me by the throat and has not let go. I completely identify with the character who quit her job as a lawyer to spend time with her children, then found it not what she expected. Swamped in mundane tasks, she drifts from her husband, who is a famous plastic surgeon. Her mother warns her to keep her job or she will lose her husband because she will not be interesting anymore. I found I was a very bad mommy today for personal reasons. I could not put this book down. It's like watching a train wreck happening in front of you (forgive the cliché) and I found myself getting frustrated, slamming the book down and stamping around the kitchen as I yelled at my husband. "If you even think of cheating on me, you know what I'll cut off, right!"

The poor man knows me well enough to sigh and look me directly in the eye. "What are you reading, honey?"

I stomped off. "Never mind!"

I will finish the book today but I won't share what happens.

Let's not forget whatever lovers you seek, whether it be romance or mystery or horror, are there to make our lives more beautiful, more intense, more present.

God, I love being a writer. To contribute to that world just a little bit. Well, that's enough for me.

Happy reading.