Jennifer Probst's Blog, page 26

Let The Words Be With You…

My son and I went on a movie marathon, watching the first three Star Wars movies. I was completely enthralled that I loved them just as much the 100th time watching, but the most fun was sharing the series with my little one and getting to explain the plot, now that all six have finally been made. We talked about evil turning to good, honor among Jedis, and the power of the Force, for both good and bad. Darth Vador was a fascinating character because he encompassed all our basic human qualities: lust, rage, greed, betrayal, evil, and good.

Believing in the Force doesn't mean everything will always work out. People died anyway. Evil won a lot. But at the very end, when Luke triumphed, and Anakin was reborn, we both breathed a sigh of relief, and our faith was restored.

As writers, our gift is our words and the ability to use them. We are special because we have been given that gift, and can use it in many different ways. I read a wonderful quote from one of my favorite writing books by Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way:

"Creativity is God's gift to us. Using our Creativity is our gift back to God".

Words can hurt or inspire, both verbal and written. Words can bring joy and peace, or sorrow and loss. Words can relate to good or evil.

This is not just about being writers. It's about being human and communicating daily. I want to use my words to be a better mother, wife, daughter, teacher, student, and friend. To dig deep and speak from the heart…with kindness. The world needs so much more kindness.

As we end this year, and take a break for the holidays, I know everyone will face their own special challenges. So let's be brave and face them together. Let's use the force of our creativity and gift for good. Let's push ourselves farther than we've ever been before, and never give up.

And my greatest wish for everyone this year?

LET THE WORDS BE WITH YOU….

 

 

Things I've Learned Writing Full-Time

I used to have a real job.

Now, when I quote real, I mean what society looks upon as work outside the home that pays a regular salary. This does not include self employment, being a stay at home mom, or a writer. I have realized by experience that being at home is not easy. I always loved working, even though it was a big shuffle to keep all the balls in the air, but I was the queen of multitasking and I never believed we'd make it without my job.

Then I got laid off.

My secret dream came true. I had time to write full time and try to make a go of it. I would finally be home with my son and give him my undivided attention. I could pick my older one up from school, which he had always begged me to do. I still searched for a job steadily, but there was literally nothing out there to choose from, so I made the best of my lot.

And it's been fantastic. Can't lie and say it hasn't. But I've learned some things that I thought I'd share.

My house is still never clean. Never. No, I mean never. Maybe for Christmas because loads of people will be over and I can't embarrass my mother. I tried keeping it clean the first two weeks at home, feeling as if it were my job now. But I began to get seriously depressed by household duties. I did them all the time, wasting precious minutes away from my writing, and then an hour later it was messed up. Constant meals in the kitchen lasted forever. The never ending job sucked me dry, until I finally confronted my secret and accepted it. I didn't want to clean, so I didn't. Sure, I disinfect now and then, and straighten up when I can't walk, but I don't spend all day doing thankless tasks. I do maybe one per day. So we either eat or have clean clothes. Fortunately my husband takes up the slack. And I don't care and I'm not gonna apologize for it.
One child is a lot of work. Kind of embarrassing to admit this. My older one is in school, so that left me with only one, and he's in pre-k for two hours three times per week. Piece of cake. I figured I'd get lots of writing done AND take care of his needs. But I was wrong. He interrupts me all the time.  He pops in on commercials, brings books to my desk, drags games in to invite me to play. Even when I set up strictly our time and then me time, the child asks for a drink or snacks or wanders in with a grin and just says he wants a quick snuggle. He is talking to me right now as I write this post. Seriously. So, when my husband comes home and gets confused why I had no time to work on my book, I don't know how to explain the situation. Then add all the errands and driving and picking up, and there's no time left.
I got uglier. I don't need everyone to jump on me and say I lost my self confidence. This is honesty talking. First off, now that I have all this free time, I thought I'd be at the gym every day. What the hell happened? I used to squeeze it in after work and before dinner twice per week – that's all I needed. I thought being home would make me lean and hot. Instead, my ass has grown twice its size. I eat weird stuff throughout the day and more at night. I don't go to the gym, because by the time my husband comes home, I'm tired from the kids and fetching and serving and trying to write, and I don't want to go back out. Also, I am now a fashion disaster. I used to wear cool jewelry and makeup and shoes and great clothes.  Now I wear pjs or sweats. I don't even comb my hair, just clip it up to meet the bus or drop off at pre-k. My skin looks sallow from lack of sun, and I'm down to two pairs of pants that fit from my weight gain. And I'm breaking out big time from all the chips and chocolate I stuff in my mouth.
Social events are now a big deal. I don't see many people anymore. I used to have these fascinating, intelligent conversations with adults. I had great stories to share with my husband and we'd laugh around the table. Now I talk about my hero who won't do what I say or the black moment that lay flat, and he looks at me with pure confusion. (Thank God for my twitter friends or I'd be isolated.) So then I launch into what the kids do and even I'm bored after a while. So I listen to his stories.

But when I schedule a lecture or a dinner or a coffee date with one of my friends, I put on makeup, get excited over what shoes I'll wear, and pretty much put on as much jewelry as I can get away with. Last week, one of my friends looked at me strangely and said I was pretty dressed up for the bookstore. Yep. How the mighty have fallen.

5. I can't measure productivity. Day jobs are clear – finish the work of the day and you know what you have left. Writing is fuzzy. For instance, I need to do promo, blogging, and social media. Does that count at all in productivity? I need to edit and that takes up a lot of time. When I edit, I'm not doing any new writing. Should I complete 1,000 words a day? 2? It's hard to define when each day is so different with what I need or want to accomplish. At the last RWA conference I attended, Susan Elizabeth Phillips shared she has a timer and she needs to write new stuff for 2 hours on the timer, not including pee breaks, children breaks, phone breaks or chocolate/coffee breaks. I am trying to find what works best for me, but this is a problem I never encountered having a regular 9-5 job out of the house!

Now that I've confessed my secrets, I must admit I still love staying at home. I get to live my dream and get up and write instead of doing a day job for a check but no soul satisfaction. Don't know how much longer it will last, but I'll enjoy it as long as I can.

 I just wish I could look better doing it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let's Be Shameless…

What I find so interesting about writing is the solitary nature of this career.  Even when I began, I wonder if it was from a deep seated desire to completely disconnect with actual people and live in my own fantasy world.  After all, I'm quite happy there. Always have been. I used to believe being a writer meant writing your best stuff, learning craft, and just…writing. Sure, I'd be on a talk show here and there, and book signings. But that's it.

Oh, how the world has changed.

In order to be sort of successful, you not only have to write, but sing your praises. Humbly. Make lots and lots of friends on Twitter and Facebook, rank on Klout, have a huge blog following,  be charming, outgoing, sociable, and everything that most writers are usually…not.

Well, at least not me.

God, I hate talking about myself. I love talking about the process of writing, and saying I wrote a book, but not pressing my business card into someone's hand with savvy charm and a quick witted smile. Instead of "Call me" it's "Buy me!"  How embarrassing!

And book signings? Well, to be truthful, most of the time I have to haul in the bushes beforehand. I was never good at public speaking, and still dread it. Yet, now, I push myself to speak at libraries about my craft and hopefully people will buy my books.

Such is this brave new world. And all is not lost. First off, I have met so many new friends through Twitter I'm amazed at the pool of talented, prolific, NICE people out there. And many hate the hard sale anyway. I have always preferred to meet and socialize with new friends and colleagues, then hope to sell my book down the road. Hell, I sold insurance for years and was quite good at it, and never, ever pushed a sale. If a policy was good for them, I'd suggest it. Same for my book.

Most of my work I'm quite proud of. My eclectic tastes run the gamut and all is reflected in my new website. So, the point of this new post? Well, to toot my own horn in my own home. Charmingly and tastingly, of course.

Love erotic romance? Boy, do I have something for you. Besides my new 2/1 release of Sex, Lies and Contracts, mark your calendars for a delicious romp with The Steele Brothers trilogy coming from Decadent Publishing for their 1NS (One Night Stand ) series..  Here's a quick taste…

 

Catch Me – Steel Brothers #1

Rick Steele has avoided relationships since he caught his fiancée cheating, but when he's talked into spending a one night stand through Madame Eve's service, he's not prepared for his emotional and physical reaction to his date. Tara shows him a raw passion and honesty he's never encountered. For the first time, Rick wants more than one night…but he needs to catch her first.

Tara Denton escaped a brutal past and needs one night with a stranger to get past her sexual and emotional limitations. On the brink of recovering her strength and independence, she wants nothing to do with a relationship. But Rick Steele does more than rock her body…he rocks her heart. Tara has to make a choice, but is she ready to get caught?

 

Play Me – Steele Brothers #2

Professional gambler Sloane Keller is tired of dating weak willed men and longs to meet a man who challenges her dominant personality and forces her to submit. As the queen of the cards, she's used to making her own rules, and craves the excitement of Vegas. But her inner heart cries out for someone who can be her match, both inside the casino and in the bedroom.

As the new dealer for the Bellagio, Roman Steele is burnt out on women looking for a quick penny and a man to follow. He craves a woman with fire in her soul and a keen intellect who can challenge him. When his brother recruits Madame Eve to help, Rome is amazed at the complicated woman he gets to spend the night with. But when the evening is over, will she be gutsy enough to offer him forever?

Dare Me – Steele Brothers #3

As a military leader back from the war, and the youngest of his two dominant older brothers, Rafe Steele struggles with a secret. He craves surrender in the bedroom under the controlled hands of a Dominatrix. When his brothers offer him a one night stand with Madame Eve, he jumps at the chance to enact his fantasy. Rafe is sure after one experiment he'll be able to move on. But he never counted on Summer Preston to strip down his walls and make him want more than one night…

Summer Prescott is the typical girl next door. An elementary school teacher with a young, fresh face, she is constantly barraged by men who want to take care of her. She longs to meet a strong man who can handle her Dominatrix ways in the bedroom. Trapped in her own storybook life, she books a one night stand with Madame Eve to finally experience her fantasy. But she never counted on Rafe Steele to push her boundaries in both the bedroom…and her heart.

 

Love sexy, humorous romance? I am beyond thrilled to announce my new series, Marriage To A Millionaire with Entangled. Here is a  quick tease of my first book, The Marriage Bargain, coming March 1, 2012:

 

A marriage in name only…but neither bargained for love..

Alexandria Maria McKenzie casts a love spell for a man to help save her childhood home, but she never planned on her best friend's older brother.  He offers her a bargain: marry him for one year and he will meet her price.  A marriage in name only with certain rules: no emotion, no attachments, no sex.  The terms should be easy to follow since he is the man who broke her heart years ago.  Or are they?

 Nicholas Ryan doesn't believe in marriage or family, but he needs a wife in order to inherit DreamScape Enterprises.  He looks for a suitable candidate, but never planned on his sister's childhood friend.  She is everything he usually avoids in a woman: too impulsive, too emotional, too demanding.  Of course, he intends to avoid any real entanglements and stick strictly to business.  Or can he?

 

The stakes are high, but neither bargained for love…

 

It's going to be a hell of a year, folks.  You're going to be seeing a lot of me, but I will spare you the hard sell, and hope the reviewers and the story sell themselves.

Drop me a note and share your good news with me. Let me know how you do with your shameless promotions.

A Little Bit of Gratitude…

Of course  I'm doing a post on gratitude. It's Thanksgiving week. But I'm mixing it up. Over the past few days, I've been thinking of things I am really grateful for, but don't really think about on a daily basis. Here are a few:

1. My son's drawings. Simple, right? I empty out his backpack and am usually greeted by one or two art projects or photos. No matter how stressed or crazy I am at the moment – no matter what type of mood I'm in – I smile. Who wouldn't? I gaze upon smiling suns, happy animals, and a child's point of view. A happy child. There are no monsters yet in his closet, and I am grateful for that more than anyone can imagine.

2. My children like each other. This may change. For now, the occasional fight is nothing – my sons are literally best friends. They play for hours on end in the room with their toys and stuffed animals, in a word of their own making. They enjoy each other's company. Dealing with two toddlers in diapers with bottles now seem so worth it when they sneak away on their own and I don't hear from them  as they engage in play.

3. My husband is a grown up . My husband does chores. He takes out the trash, does the dishes, cooks dinner and does all the laundry. He rarely complains. Sure, he's messed up a lot, and we have our issues, but when I hear women complain about doing everything and feeling like a maid, I can only blink in surprise. I never feel that way. And I never have to ask him do something twice (unless it's something really yukky). What a relief to have married a grown man and not a little kid I feel responsible for.

4. My dogs. I love my dogs. They are two pains in the asses but their presence is another layer of both chaos and happiness. I write and they keep my feet warm. They are always thrilled to see me, whether I arrive back from the mailbox or just exit the bathroom. They always seem surpised too.  They offer a level of adoration not found in any other species.

5. My editors. This isn't a kiss ass post. My editors have given me an opportunity I always dreamed of. To write. They like my stuff and buy it. Then they fix it so it's good. And they're nice. As a published writer, I fantasized about having actual editors in my life that believed in me, and I finally scored. They want me to succeed at all costs, and that makes them my very best friends.

 There you go, folks. When I asked my boys what they were thankful for this was their response.

Older son: Turkey.

Younger son: Superheroes.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

 

How Do I Look?

I'm a makeover show junkie. Perhaps that's another reason I'm drawn to the theme of the ugly duckling turning into the swan in romance novels and life. I have seen movies galore about the nerdy girl transforming herself and catching the eye of the football star. Of course, he realizes he'd been an ass all that time, and she's beautiful on the inside where it all counts. Sigh.

But I digress.

My rocking web designer, Del Dryden, has given me a new look. I was going through some growing pains, and with some new series on the horizon in 2012, I needed to step things up a bit. With humor and patience, she created the perfect site for me – with a fun, happy feel, able to highlight my wide array of tastes from sexy romance, erotic, to children's and pet stories. Basically, I feel like it's a home where everyone is welcome, no matter what taste you prefer.

Take a look around. Drop a comment and let me know what you think. With a simple click, please like my Facebook Fan page, or check out what I'm reading at Goodreads. I'm a huge Twitter fan and follow back so don't forget to visit me there!

I'm also hosting a contest over at Fresh Fiction to highlight The Tantric Principle. Click on the link below and enter to win a $10.00 Amazon gift card on me. The contest runs for the month of November.

http://freshfiction.com/contest.php?id=3730

What's coming up for the holiday season? A Rock Around December event at Red Sage where lots of prizes will be given out, along with a HUGE gift basket of goodies.  Check back often for eye candy, yummy excerpts, recipes, and holiday fun. I'll be giving away some free copies of my books!

I'll also be visiting Romance University for a special guest blog in December, and posting at my other site at 4badmommies.

So….

How do I look??????

 

Top 5 Reasons to Use Goodreads

My blog entries have been fewer as my writing schedule has geared up, but I adore having this special place to talk about different topics and connect with all my friends out there in cyberspace. I will be posting about some great sales and upcoming books but thought it would be nice to talk about some writing stuff.

Like writing karma.

I believe in karma. Have noticed there are a lot of tags for it recently, for liking other facebook pages or blog links or the giving of special awards. But I've noticed a powerful tool for writers and readers lately from my own personal experience.

Goodreads.

If you love reading, you should be on this site. If you are an author, you must be on this site. Besides being a free tool for publicity, this is where the readers are. And this tool, my friends, is a fantastic way to discover new authors and read great books.

Without further ado…here are the top five reasons you should be using Goodreads.

1. Goodreads helps you find great books.

The site allows you to make a free account and list all the books you have read or desire to read. You get to rate them, review them, share them, twitter about them. You get to label them as TO READ, READ, or CURRENTLY READING.

2. Goodreads will connect you with readers and writers.

You have the option to join many chat groups, which specifically list topic discussions to get involved with. You can invite people to become your friends, and then share you reviews and book reading lists with them. That way, you are able to find what other people are reading, and get wonderful suggestions for new authors and books.

3. Goodreads will help promote your author name.

The site allows you to make your own author page, hook up your blog, twitter, and  bookshelf. That way, if anyone wants to add you as a fan, your blog and twitter will be automatically sent to them. It's a great way to keep your social network working for you . Pretty much a no brainer.

4. Goodreads sells books. 

How do I know? It's worked for me. Goodreads sends me a list in my email like a daily digest with updates from all my friends who have reviewed books, added books to their shelf, etc. I scroll down the list, check out what everyone's reading, and browse their comments.

Recently, my writing friend rated a book by another author as five stars and left a review. Curious, I clicked on the link, read the excerpt, the other reviews, and became hooked. Right there on the page is the link straight to the stores – Amazon, B& N, etc. I own a Kindle, so I clicked on Amazon, and was brought directly to the page. I was already warned the price was a bit steep but promised it was worth it. Since I trust her judgment, I was willing to pay. I clicked buy and it was downloaded on my Kindle. Sale. In one minute.

That's pretty powerful.

5. Goodreads helps spread your reviews.

In my stream of friends, I also have reviewers. When the Long and Short of It Reviews rated an author as a must read with five stars, I immediately clicked to check it out. Same thing happened. Read the blurb, liked the reviews, clicked it and bought.

Bingo.

As for my own books, reviews have been priceless. Literally, priceless. The wonderful reviewers who took the time to read it and rate it and post on Goodreads have given me sales. I have seen the comments from readers stating they saw the review and now have The Tantric Principle on their to read list. All of my site information is there for any reader to click on my blog, twitter, website, or buy my books.

So, my advice is to join in the fun. Take advantage of the opportunity. Discover new authors.

My plea? In our very busy, busy lives, it is priceless to leave a good review. If you love a book, take a few minutes and post a review. A few sentences is fine. Word of mouth is the best way to sell books, and the karma will come back time and time again. Writers treasure their readers and work extra hard to try and make each book better and better. For them. By leaving a review, you are thanking writers for doing their job.

Happy Reading!

TOP 5 REASONS TO USE GOODREADS…

My blog entries have been fewer as my writing schedule has geared up, but I adore having this special place to talk about different topics and connect with all my friends out there in cyberspace. I will be posting about some great sales and upcoming books but thought it would be nice to talk about some writing stuff.

Like writing karma.

I believe in karma. Have noticed there are a lot of tags for it recently, for liking other facebook pages or blog links or the giving of special awards. But I've noticed a powerful tool for writers and readers lately from my own personal experience.

Goodreads.

If you love reading, you should be on this site. If you are an author, you must be on this site. Besides being a free tool for publicity, this is where the readers are. And this tool, my friends, is a fantastic way to discover new authors and read great books.

Without further ado…here are the top five reasons you should be using Goodreads.

1. Goodreads helps you find great books.

The site allows you to make a free account and list all the books you have read or desire to read. You get to rate them, review them, share them, twitter about them. You get to label them as TO READ, READ, or CURRENTLY READING.

2. Goodreads will connect you with readers and writers.

You have the option to join many chat groups, which specifically list topic discussions to get involved with. You can invite people to become your friends, and then share you reviews and book reading lists with them. That way, you are able to find what other people are reading, and get wonderful suggestions for new authors and books.

3. Goodreads will help promote your author name.

The site allows you to make your own author page, hook up your blog, twitter, and  bookshelf. That way, if anyone wants to add you as a fan, your blog and twitter will be automatically sent to them. It's a great way to keep your social network working for you . Pretty much a no brainer.

4. Goodreads sells books. 

How do I know? It's worked for me. Goodreads sends me a list in my email like a daily digest with updates from all my friends who have reviewed books, added books to their shelf, etc. I scroll down the list, check out what everyone's reading, and browse their comments.

Recently, my writing friend rated a book by another author as five stars and left a review. Curious, I clicked on the link, read the excerpt, the other reviews, and became hooked. Right there on the page is the link straight to the stores – Amazon, B& N, etc. I own a Kindle, so I clicked on Amazon, and was brought directly to the page. I was already warned the price was a bit steep but promised it was worth it. Since I trust her judgment, I was willing to pay. I clicked buy and it was downloaded on my Kindle. Sale. In one minute.

That's pretty powerful.

5. Goodreads helps spread your reviews.

In my stream of friends, I also have reviewers. When the Long and Short of It Reviews rated an author as a must read with five stars, I immediately clicked to check it out. Same thing happened. Read the blurb, liked the reviews, clicked it and bought.

Bingo.

As for my own books, reviews have been priceless. Literally, priceless. The wonderful reviewers who took the time to read it and rate it and post on Goodreads have given me sales. I have seen the comments from readers stating they saw the review and now have The Tantric Principle on their to read list. All of my site information is there for any reader to click on my blog, twitter, website, or buy my books.

So, my advice is to join in the fun. Take advantage of the opportunity. Discover new authors.

My plea? In our very busy, busy lives, it is priceless to leave a good review. If you love a book, take a few minutes and post a review. A few sentences is fine. Word of mouth is the best way to sell books, and the karma will come back time and time again. Writers treasure their readers and work extra hard to try and make each book better and better. For them. By leaving a review, you are thanking writers for doing their job.

Happy Reading!

Fall Frolic and a Mama Llama

I'm a summer girl all the way. Sun, sandals, shorts. But there's something magical about Fall that entrances me. The light is golden and bathes the world with sparkles. The delicious scent of leaves, and earth, and spices fill the air. Farms throw open their doors with festivals and hayrides and pumpkin picking, and everyone seems pumped and excited.

I had a perfect family weekend. We visited one of those farms with the boys and sampled it all. When we snuck into the haunted house and picked our way through the fog and flashing skeleton heads, my boys clung to me with fear (including my father for some reason) and screamed in terror. We boarded the tractor for a bumpy ride up the hill to the pumpkin patch, to pick the perfect size pumpkin and take pictures with the scarecrows. We sipped apple cider, munched on popcorn, and watched the kids bounce like crazy in the bouncy houses. We got lost in the corn maze and cheated when we got tired. The kids got their faces painted with bats and vampire fangs, and we breathed in the crisp fall air, feeling perfectly content for those few precious hours.

My favorite part was meeting the animals. There was a whole batch of baby pigs. Their fat little bodies, and funny snouts and tiny grunts converted me. Already a vegetarian, I was so glad I didn't eat bacon! They were precious, and I got to hold them and learn a whole new side about animals.

But I fell in love with a llama named Trish. Holding herself high with dignity, she walked over to greet me, her beautiful, heavily lashed dark eyes staring into mine. The owner of the petting zoo explained Trish had been very depressed because she lost her mate two years ago, and the baby llama she had adopted in her care had just died. The owner said Trish was extremely loyal, loving, and now spent hours laying down, staring into space. She didn't want to eat, or socialize. Her heart was broken.

And mine broke for her. I crooned to Trish and she did the most amazing thing. Mother to mother, we stared into one another's eyes. And then she lowered her head and kissed me.

The owner said she was very careful of who she bestowed her kisses on. I had passed muster. I stroked her neck and said good-bye, and I have been thinking of her ever since. One mama to another.

Those are the moments I live for in motherhood. When we are all together, enjoying the moment, happy and carefree. I can look at my kids and their silliness and joy for life and feel my heart crack open to the world around me.

And I remind myself again, to take what is given, enjoy the gift, and hold it close to the heart. There are bad days and good days in parenthood, but oh, for those few joyous hours, everything is so worth it.

I wish everyone more of those moments as we move forward.

Happy Fall everyone!

FALL FROLIC AND A MAMA LLAMA

I'm a summer girl all the way. Sun, sandals, shorts. But there's something magical about Fall that entrances me. The light is golden and bathes the world with sparkles. The delicious scent of leaves, and earth, and spices fill the air. Farms throw open their doors with festivals and hayrides and pumpkin picking, and everyone seems pumped and excited.

I had a perfect family weekend. We visited one of those farms with the boys and sampled it all. When we snuck into the haunted house and picked our way through the fog and flashing skeleton heads, my boys clung to me with fear (including my father for some reason) and screamed in terror. We boarded the tractor for a bumpy ride up the hill to the pumpkin patch, to pick the perfect size pumpkin and take pictures with the scarecrows. We sipped apple cider, munched on popcorn, and watched the kids bounce like crazy in the bouncy houses. We got lost in the corn maze and cheated when we got tired. The kids got their faces painted with bats and vampire fangs, and we breathed in the crisp fall air, feeling perfectly content for those few precious hours.

My favorite part was meeting the animals. There was a whole batch of baby pigs. Their fat little bodies, and funny snouts and tiny grunts converted me. Already a vegetarian, I was so glad I didn't eat bacon! They were precious, and I got to hold them and learn a whole new side about animals.

But I fell in love with a llama named Trish. Holding herself high with dignity, she walked over to greet me, her beautiful, heavily lashed dark eyes staring into mine. The owner of the petting zoo explained Trish had been very depressed because she lost her mate two years ago, and the baby llama she had adopted in her care had just died. The owner said Trish was extremely loyal, loving, and now spent hours laying down, staring into space. She didn't want to eat, or socialize. Her heart was broken.

And mine broke for her. I crooned to Trish and she did the most amazing thing. Mother to mother, we stared into one another's eyes. And then she lowered her head and kissed me.

The owner said she was very careful of who she bestowed her kisses on. I had passed muster. I stroked her neck and said good-bye, and I have been thinking of her ever since. One mama to another.

Those are the moments I live for in motherhood. When we are all together, enjoying the moment, happy and carefree. I can look at my kids and their silliness and joy for life and feel my heart crack open to the world around me.

And I remind myself again, to take what is given, enjoy the gift, and hold it close to the heart. There are bad days and good days in parenthood, but oh, for those few joyous hours, everything is so worth it.

I wish everyone more of those moments as we move forward.

Happy Fall everyone!

Hidden Treasure: Turning Something Old into Something New

Pull up a chair and I'll tell you a story.

There was once a young girl who knew she was meant to write romance novels. She penned her first young adult book at 12. Graduated to adult stories in her early twenties. Completed a proper business degree in college but still wrote in her free time because she never gave up the dream. Penned her first "real" adult novel and sent it out to Harlequin to await the great news.

One year later, she got a "good" rejection.  Really good.

She was confused so she sent it to an agent. Waited six months. Got another "great" rejection letter.

Then sent it to a third place. Then fourth. Then fifth. Over the next year, she was rejected again and again. But she kept writing and just kept believing. She did smart things like join RWA, and get into a critique group, and learn the business.

Finally, she made her first sale to a mid level publisher who loved her voice. She waited two years for publication but finally was able to clutch her first book in her hand and gaze at her first cover.  Heart of Steel. My powerful alpha male, Logan Grant. My free flowing yoga arts teacher, Chandler Santell. Most editors had problems with my hero because he was so dominant. I love my alpha males and he wouldn't be tamed, though I tried.

The first published book for an author is unbelievable. Nothing can describe it. I felt like I had joined a secret club. Then I learned it didn't mean things would get easy. The happiness of the first time is wonderful, but you still have to write another book. Then another. And another…

And they have to be good. No, they have to be better.

As I grew into a writer, I took many different turns. I hit dry spells and hot spells and spells in between. When I finally began to sell more consistently, I received a letter that my publisher had closed and my rights had reverted back to me for Heart of Steel. I then got the opportunity to re-publish with another company in digital format. I was thrilled to have the opportunity to edit, polish and see my very first book in electronic form on Kindle, Nook and Sony.

When I read back over the book, I realized I had grown so much as a writer and wanted to make a lot of changes. But something happened as I began to edit. My voice had changed and grown. This was my younger self – raw, passionate, and a bit unpolished. If I edited to the way I wanted, I would have changed the entire feel of the book.

And I didn't want to do that.

Heart of Steel needs to be read as is. So, I went back and added some technology for Logan to do his job properly. I also gave them a cell phone. (Insert laugh out loud right here).

My new updated version comes out in early October. I will be hopping around doing some guest blogs and leaving some excerpts, excited for a new audience.

What have  I learned? There is hidden treasure in everything. Old books, ideas, stories, memories. Some need to be honored and cherished exactly the way they were. Others can be tweaked or polished a bit. And still others need to be re-gutted in order to make a whole new memory.

Hidden treasure can be both exciting and overwhelming. I remember this as I go through my life as a mother, as a writer, as a person. There are no wrong choices. Just the individual choices of our heart.

Heart of Steel was one of my treasures. I will always remember that girl behind the desk, before marriage or children or the drudge of reality affected her. She was fresh and hopeful and oh, so very passionate about her dreams.

And that is one treasure I will always cherish.