Jennifer Probst's Blog, page 12

New Releases, Giveaways, Fun, and So Much More…

It’s going to be an epic year.

Why you ask?

Already, my release schedule is something to behold. My precious readers will be able to devour and gorge on my sexy HGTV series for ALL the Pierce brothers. Writers will get something to help them feel less lonely and more sane as we pave our way through our books and live with the many voices in our heads. And something brand new and exciting hovers out over that horizon there…see it?…right there…

Let’s go over the release schedule, shall we?

Drumroll please!

January 24th – the 2nd in the Billionaire Builder series takes off in Any Time, Any Place and a January Top Pick from Ibooks! Oh, this was one of my all time faves to write. I know you will DEVOUR this book, because Dalton is so scorching, he almost blew up my computer. It’s funny, and emotional, HOT and up for preorder! Speaking of which….

I’m having an AMAZING pre-order contest that goes LIVE on January 19th so make sure you pop onto my website or Facebook page and enter. You will love the prizes available!

March 31st – Write Naked – my first nonfiction book for romance and women’s fiction authors. Honestly, though, I think any writer can relate to this book. I share secrets and break down craft, the ups and downs of career, success, and our sometimes cranky, mostly wonderful Muse. It’s up for preorder at Amazon and it’s being released from Writer’s Digest Books so you know it’s good.

May 30th – the third installment in the Billionaire Builders – Somehow, Some Way from 1001 Dark Nights! And this time we get Brady the architect matched with a sassy, smart-mouthed rehab addict you will adore.

July 25th – The final, long awaited installment All or Nothing at All. This book almost killed me, but it’s my swan song. Everything I ever wanted to write in this one book and Tristan and Sydney broke my heart and put it back together again. I hope you guys love it.

 

AND REMEMBER ALL MY SERIES ARE WRITTEN AS COMPLETE STAND ALONES! YOU CAN JUMP IN AT ANY TIME AND NOT BE LOST!

Now, on to my surprises. What will it be? A new series? A new standalone? A holiday story? A prequel? Sequel?

Well…I’m not telling yet. It’s super secret and you’ll love it, and I promise more details later on but I’ve given you plenty to read for the first half of the year!

In the meantime, please join my street team, The Probst Posse, where we hang out, laugh, share secrets, and talk about my books. I’ll be doing a ton of giveaways and special perks for preordering all my books. I love reader interaction so comment on my page, email me, send a messenger pigeon, anything at all and I answer back.

Now I’ve gotta dash back into the cave and get some more words written!

Smooches!

 

 

Resolutions on Life, Writing, and Other Important Stuff…

New Year’s resolutions.

Yeah, I know I’m a few days late on this topic, but at least I’m fashionable.

Resolutions are everywhere, and for good reason. It’s a time to reflect and try again. I think New Year’s Day is a wonderful figurehead of the Queen of good intentions: fulfilling old dreams and creating new ones. Yes, I’ve also been a cynic before, especially in the dreadful, barren winterland of January where no life breeds and the silence is so still and icy cold, I can launch my intentions no further than from my bed to the couch.

But some years, I am inspired. We all need a brand new beginning. Like the blank page in a writer’s arsenal, I am the creator of character, stories, and escape. I bring something beautiful to this life. That will be enough for me this year. Along with some other stuff I’m committing to paper to help fuel the beginning. Of course, I woke up sick today. Real bummer. But my year doesn’t start until I’m better, so I feel no pressure to begin doing any of this until Wednesday.

Maybe Friday. We’ll see.

Here are some of my I’m going to do this and I’m NOT going to do this. Sorry for the sloppy wording. I’m usually better but today I’m hyped up on Nyquil so my brain is a bit fuzzy.

I’M GOING TO:

I’m going to keep my senses open to story but my eyes attuned only to my page and my journey. We cannot walk in another’s path. I wouldn’t want to. Because if you choose someone else’s life to imitate, you get all the bad that comes with the good. I’d rather take my bad stuff any day rather than a life I don’t know about.

I’m going to be less cynical. Less cynical on politics, and money, on publishing and sales, and a whole bunch of other stuff.

I’m going to use Facebook and IG a lot less this year. I’m going to live instead of post, or do actual things without looking for the number of likes to see if I was clever, or funny, or interesting. I will just…be.

I’m going to play more board games and watch less television. I adore my boys – they are so much fun and we love to interact. Way too soon they won’t want anything to do with me, and Netflix will be ready to launch then.

I’m going to lose 5 pounds and stretch more and mediate for just five minutes in the morning before I start my work. Just five minutes. No more. No less.

I’m going to eat smaller portions of all the things I love.

I’m going to take my dog out for a walk more instead of letting her loose. We both need to walk and experience different smells and different sights.

I’m going to volunteer at a dog shelter and actually show up instead of just sending money.

I’m going to cook more on my own terms rather than for survival. I’m going to cook for pleasure.

I’m going to reduce my internet time by ONE hour per day. Just one hour. And with that hour, I will do something I want to do and not feel guilty.

I’m going to treat my career like the Godlike gift it is and go to the page big, bold, and as creatively as I can. It may be my job, but I need to treat my Muse more like a Queen and less like a workhorse trained to the plow twenty-four hours per day with no lunch, sick time, or vacation.

 I’m going to make Monday my bitch and live it like it’s a Saturday. When the big ball of junk looms up on Monday morning, I will not succumb. I will laugh in its face and conquer it to the best of my ability and it will all work out. Doesn’t it always?

 

I’M NOT GOING TO:

I’m not going to be on social media or answer emails or take a million photos on vacation. Because it’s my vacation, and I don’t need to show anyone how much fun I’m having. I just need to have fun and shut up about it.

I’m not going to lose 20 pounds or go to the gym three days a week. I’m not going to the gym at all. And I’m not giving up peanut butter or chocolate or pasta. Or wine.

I’m not going to beat myself up about writing more books this year, or how those books do sales wise, as long as I do my very best.

I’m not going to worry about everything I can’t control. I work hard enough on the things I can control.

That’s it. Some of my resolutions and hope for the new year.

What are yours?

The Best of 2016 According to Me…

 

I love examining everyone’s top rated items for the year, whether it be books, movies, songs, or moments. There’s something about getting a fresh viewpoint that reminds me of how everyone sees things differently, and to consistently try new things.

I’ve been doing my own top ten (or five, or whatever) list for a few years, and as usual, here are the things that stood out to me. They are listed in no particular order of importance.

My criteria is simple: I read too many wonderful books to list all of them here. I am a voracious reader, and have been extremely blessed to be friends with so many talented, amazing authors, I read their books regularly and have many opportunities to blurb books. My cup runneth over. The ones I’ve listed below have surprised me in some way, or lingered for some reason, and happened to make the list.

Without further ado…here’s Jen’s TOP FAVE THINGS FOR 2016!

*and no—I will not be giving them all away to any lucky readers. I am not Oprah.*

BOOKS!

Dog Medicine: How my Dog Saved me from Myself by Julie Barton

I love a good memoir, and ever since Wild by Cheryl Strayed (which made my top list years ago!) I enjoy a well written, thoughtful memoir. I think it takes a lot of guts to put yourself out there with all your crap. It’s what good writers do. This one I bought on impulse at an airport store and fell in love. First, because I’m a huge dog/animal lover. Second, because I could relate to this hard journey the author went on, and how love is the greatest thing on earth – both human and canine.

2. The Luckiest Girl Alive – Jessica Knoll

I love a good thriller or mystery to cleanse my palette and was a bit late to jump onto this popular book but so happy I did. I really loved the set up of the story, the characterization, the writing, etc. Def a worthy read.

3. The Hating Game – Sally Thorne

This book is making ALL the top lists this year! It’s a romantic comedy with so much wit, humor, and character development, I couldn’t put it down. I LOVED it. This book inspired me as a romance author. Read it.

4. Mr. President – Katy Evans

I love me some Katy Evans. I happen to love the person she is, too. She was kind enough to send me an ARC of this book because she’s such a sweetheart, and with the political season unveiling, I found great solace and escape with this fab romance. Cannot wait till the second book comes out Commander in Chief. Umm, Katy, are you listening? Hint. Hint. Hint…

5. The Marriage Games – CD Reiss

Another author who hit my top list a few years back with her Songs of Submission series. And now she’s back! Again, another author who was kind enough to allow me to read her ARC and I’m thrilled to see so much love for this book. It’s intense and sexy and cool and everything. Buy it.

6. Rebecca Zanetti – The Dark Protectors series

OMG. Rebecca Zanetti is a literal genius. How did I not know her before this? I know I don’t read much paranormal – except for JR Ward, and Nalini Singh. But damn, I read her fabulous novella, Tricked, from 1001 Dark Nights (pick up any book from this imprint and you will thank me!), and that was it. I hopped over to Amazon and proceeded to read five books in a row of her Dark Protector series and ignored everything else. She’s a genius. Read her. The series has some of the most delicious alpha males and kick ass females ever!

7. End of Watch – Stephen King

I’m a HUGE King fan. Mr. Mercedes made my top list years ago, but I wasn’t as thrilled with Finders Keepers. But then End of Watch blew me away and I was left reeling with King’s genius yet again. One of the best characters he created – a worthy read.

8. It’s Not Okay by Andi Dorfman.

Okay, so I shall preface this as saying I’m a die hard fanatic Bachelor fan. She was one of my favorite leads, and this is her memoir about what happened in the show, but mainly about her break up with a man she truly loved. She is so raw and honest and though I’m happily married, I really could have used her book a decade ago because break ups take everything out of you. If you’re going through a time of change and growth with relationships, pick this one up.

SONGS!

Not Today – Imagine Dragons

From the movie, Me Before You, this song has been played so many time on repeat it’s almost embarrassing. Almost.

2. Sons of Anarchy soundtracks – Hey, Hey and all the others.

Again, I’m always late to the party. Hubby and I gorged on all seasons of Sons of Anarchy and my life changed. I couldn’t get the show out of my mind, so I downloaded all the songs and obsessively listened to them. Unique to each of the shows, the music is truly gorgeous.

3. Cake by the Ocean – DNCE and Got That Feeling – Justin Timberlake

I danced all summer with these two songs, through every pool party, blasted every night, and still my boys danced with me when I belted out these tunes. They have great memories for me.

MOVIES!

Finding Dory and Zootopia –

A good children’s movie is a work of art. These were my favorites of the year. Again, I won’t forget the memories of watching and enjoying them with my kids. And I laughed a bit too much because I think I embarrassed my older one.

Oh, well. He’ll have to get used to it.

2. Don’t Breathe

Best. Horror. Film. Of. The. Year.

I screamed many times. I couldn’t get it out of my head. See it.

Can’t really think of any others that blew me away. I did like The Light Between the Oceans because I couldn’t get the movie out of my mind, and Fassbender is in it. Yeah, this should be on the list too!

Television!

The Walking Dead

Yeah, this is on the list because of Negan. If you don’t know Negan, watch the Walking Dead. All the seasons were stellar. The real horror is not the zombies. It’s the people.

2. Sons of Anarchy

Like I said above, stellar series, with some amazing acting and constant surprises. Am I going to have to write a romance series featuring bikers now? Hmm…I may have to…

3. The Crown

Who doesn’t love the mystery behind the King and Queen of England? This is Queen Elizabeth’s story, brilliantly acted and so damn interesting, I don’t even realize I’m getting a history lesson.

4. Below Deck and VanderPump Rules:

Bravo. Best reality television. Drama, sex, fighting, drama, heaven. I feel so damn healthy after I watch it. I want so badly to go on a yacht or eat at Sur.

5. OJ Simpson series – both of them: The television series was phenomenal and well acted and completely addicting.

6. This is Us:

Everyone’s watching this show. It surprised me. We are so lacking a good family show like Parenthood. Now we have one again.

MISCELLANEOUS!!

Jeni’s Ice Cream:

I had no idea this ice cream raised the bar for all other ice cream. The flavors are unique. The ice cream is stellar—rich and creamy. The ingredients are organic and fresh. Best of all? They deliver.

Let me repeat.

THEY DELIVER. For $13 bucks flat rate – order as many of these pint sized treats as you want and get them shipped right to your door.

It has changed my life.

2. Sengeance Lipsense:

Thank you Harper Sloan.

You got me completely addicted to the best lipstick I’ve ever wore. Endless colors that mix and match, it NEVER comes off ALL day and keeps your lips healthy with the glosses. You shall thank me once you check it out. Truly. Well, kind of. It’s a good addiction like reading.

3. Rodan & Fields:

My cousin happens to sell this product (skin care) from the makers of Proactive and it has so many cool products for people like me: old people who have both wrinkles and acne. Message me if anyone’s interested in learning more and I’ll hook you up with her. They have the coolest lip serum to plump your lips, lash stuff to grow your lashes, and gadgets that really, really work.

That’s it my lovelies.

I look forward to reading all of your lists, and seeing each and every one of you in the New Year.

Blessings, love, and peace to all of you.

 

The Top Sucky Mom Moments Holiday Edition…

 

It’s the holidays! A time for joy, togetherness, and celebration.

Which means it’s time to share my top sucky Mom moments of the holidays – whoot!

Drumroll please…

The Elf on the F—Shelf

Oh, the Elf. A beloved holiday tradition where your children wake up happy and excited and go on a hunt around the house to find the Elf. He moves every night and flies back to Santa to tell him everything he’s learned about your beloved children.

Spoiler Alert: He doesn’t move anywhere. YOU, as the parent, are responsible for making sure he has a brand new hiding place EVERY SINGLE MORNING.

Yeah, let’s talk about this, shall we?

First off, my kids already suspect our Elf is not that special. You see, our Elf doesn’t move many times. When he does move, he’s in the same tired places like the lamp, the stocking, or on a wreath. That’s pretty much it. Now, my kids would be fine with this if they weren’t sharing information at school, and learning other mothers out there do it the RIGHT way. The Elf in other households move every day, and pop up in creative, exciting places, which you can see all over Facebook or Pinterest. Hey, kudos to the moms who do this, but can you tell your kids to keep it a secret? Because now mine are all like, “Mom, how come our Elf doesn’t fly back to Santa a lot?” or “Mom, how come our Elf is always on the same lamp and doesn’t do cool things like XXX at school?” or “Mom, is our Elf hurt? Is he mad at us? Is he not telling Santa we’re good? Did he lose his magic?”

To all the mothers out there, I have one final plea.

LET’S BE BAD ELF MOMS!! LET’S NOT MOVE THE ELF EVERY DAY!

This way, our children won’t expect much and when he does move—BAM. Magic! They also won’t care where he pops up! They’ll be grateful – like we were when we grew up and were lucky enough to get one lousy Barbie from Santa rather than expensive video games that cost a billion dollars, and there were no such things as Elf helpers that flew around, and if you misbehaved, you got COAL for real in your stocking!

Cookies.

I hate baking cookies. I never do. Even when I was dead broke, I scrambled to find money under the couch cushions to pay someone to bake cookies for the classroom. Unfortunately, the holidays is a time where my boys are constantly talking about the cool cookies so and so’s Mom made, and why don’t we do cookies? And I’m not talking the log of Tollhouse you slop onto a pan and bake and they’re done. No, I’m talking serious stuff like Snickerdoodles, and sugar with amazing decorations, and gingerbread men and those awesome ones with the Hershey kiss stuck in the center.

They begged enough this year and my oldest one used the buzz word that always gets me. He said if we baked gingerbread cookies it could be valuable, quality FAMILY time. Of course, I paused at that and considered. I am always searching for quality family time. They finally wore me down and I purchased a mega gingerbread cookie kit and figured maybe it won’t be that bad.

Yeah, it was. It sucked. Family time wasn’t fun. First off, the kitchen was a disaster, with my dog scrambling for leftover candy pieces that spilled everywhere on the floor, and there was a million measuring ingredients and bowls out, and flour everywhere, and it took me an hour to find the right pans. Then the recipe didn’t work, and I ended up trying to get the dough to resemble something you could actually bake, and then they whined a lot about when they were ready and when they got to decorate. I didn’t have powder sugar so I had to google substitutes and ended up taking out the blender that’s only used for margaritas to blend granulated sugar to make powdered sugar. When we cut out the gingerbread men, they came out with broken arms and crooked legs and no heads. The icing bag exploded and by the time they were all done and decorated, the cookies were overdone and hard, the kitchen was a mess, and I had an hour’s worth of dishes.

They ate the heads off all of them and didn’t want the rest. But the worst part?

Even though they sucked, I ate every single last one of those stupid, overcooked, hard Gingerbread men. I consumed all these extra calories just because they were there!

Really? This is fun for you people? This is family time?

Sign me up for a board game where I can drink wine, or a Disney movie where I can snuggle under a blanket and not move.

Snow

I hate snow. I should’ve been born in Florida but I’m too scared to leave New York cause it’s where I’ve been my whole life. What I really hate about snow is when the kids want to go out in it, and the real work begins.

What work, you ask?

Finding all the damn winter stuff, like snow suits and snow boots and waterproof gloves and scarves and hats. They are always too small, because who replaces that stuff they outgrow ON TIME?! So the older one stomps around with tight boots that hurt, and snow pants above his ankles and a beanie hat that probably gives him a headache. Then they beg me to go out and do FAMILY TIME  and build snowmen, so I have to give them excuses about all the important things I’m going to do while they play outside, and then lock myself in the office where I can drink my wine in peace and quiet. In my house, my children are not allowed outside unless they stay out for an entire hour. None of that crap where they go out for ten minutes and then you have to undress them, dry all the clothes, clean up the mess and make hot cocoa with marshmallows and whipped cream.

Not on my watch.

I set a timer and don’t let them in even to pee. That’s what snow is for.

 

The Christmas List

I long for the days where there were toys and DVDs on the list. Things were so simple and beautiful back then. Easy. Now, I struggle with crazy detailed items such as Pokemon card Mega Mewto EX which you can only get on Ebay or used sellers on Amazon with no prime shipping and they’ll NEVER arrive before Xmas. And it has to be the EX, not the DX or the Y version or you just wasted your money. Then there’s the Pokemon stuffed animals to go with the cards, and most of them ship from Japan so if there’s a problem, you go back and forth in Japanese trying to translate they sent you the wrong version and you don’t even want your damn money back – you just WANT THE RIGHT STUFFIE TO FULFILL THE XMAS LIST!!!!

That’s it, peeps. My top four. I’m not a Grinch, but if we can just tweak these four items I may just get Mother of the Year Award.

Then again, maybe not.

WHAT’S YOUR WORST HOLIDAY MOMMY MOMENTS????

 

 

The Book From Hell and How to Deal With It…

 

I’m back.

Yeah, I promised weekly blog sessions and managed to keep it up for two months, and then the book from hell hit, and I am still scrambling out of my deep cellar hole and blinking at the light, surprised that people actually LIVE out there.

In the real world.

Huh.

Anyhoo, I wanted to first say I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I think the holiday saved me from the insane asylum. I was forced to put on real clothes and eat real food and talk with real people. I even shopped. And saw two movies. And had fun.

Now, I’m catching up with all the people who probably vowed to never talk to me again, because I never answered their messages, emails, twitters, phone calls, or however else they tried to contact me.

I figured it would be nice for me to share something useful with everyone now that I’m back out.

To my beloved readers – please don’t miss out on my newest holiday novella, The Grinch of Starlight Bend – part of the Holiday Heat Collection. It’s a Beauty and the Beast inspired story and I’m overwhelmed with how many people have loved it. Give it a try for only .99 – plus you get 4 other author stories which are really good so it’s a win/win.

(Just hit the home button and BUY!)

To all the beloved authors, either aspiring or prolific, I’d like to talk about what to do when a book kicks your ass.

Besides trying to stay sane.

I’ve been writing my whole life, and this career still manages to delight, surprise, and shock me all the time. You see, the last three books I delivered to my editor were almost perfect. My editor is hard core: when she likes something, it’s epic. She doesn’t expect good. She expects great. I love this because it makes me work harder to achieve the type of stories my readers deserve.

Enter my ego. My ego can be all consuming when I’m feeling like the goddess of writing. I penned the first half of All or Nothing at All and I liked it. A lot. It was really good. My ego puffed up and patted me on the shoulder and basically said, “Who cares if deadline is right around the corner? You got this. You’re amazing!”

So I agreed with ego, and delayed a bit, since September was packed with lots of activity, and I felt like I didn’t have to scramble.

Then I sent my book to my editor.

Here’s a partial dialogue of the call:

Editor:  “So, it’s good, but it definitely needs some work.”

Me:  “Oh, okay, what tweaks are you thinking about?”

One hour later, I looked at pages of notes and scribbles and felt the beginning of a real panic attack.

Me: “Umm, my deadline is next week and you want me to rewrite the whole book?!”

Editor: “No, of course not! You just need to move the first half to the last half, then write the last half over again.”

Me: “Umm, that’s rewriting the book!”

Editor: Pauses. “Not really.”

Me: Freaking out. “Yes it is! I have to rewrite the book!”

Editor: Getting impatient with my upcoming freak out. “Okay, fine, I guess you have to rewrite the book. I can give you more time.”

Needless to say, I went to bed for a full 24 hours because I had no idea how to rewrite the book. She wanted me to change major things I’d already plotted out. But this was the real problem.

She was right.

It was a very good book. It was not a great book. And at this point, well, I only deliver a book if it’s great.

I spent the next week writing night and day. You know the drill. No showers, real food, real conversation, or anything remotely normal. I sent it to my editor in a mad rush to see if I was on track, and she called me the next day and said:

“It’s brilliant!”

YES! I did it! All I had to do now was write the next 30K in, umm, ten days?

I disappeared again. Sent her the next batch. And she called me again and said,

“No, this is wrong. I don’t like this direction you’re going, let’s discuss.”

She wanted me to rewrite it again.

I did.

The third time, she called me and said I was closer but not there yet. After a long discussion, she told me I needed to leave my house and go to dinner with my family. She said I needed to shower and sleep. She said to take the weekend off and come back to it fresh.

My editor was right.

Amazing how taking a shower can make all the difference.

A week later, I finished the book. And I know it’s GREAT. I finally got it, but it took me a while because this hero was one of the most mysterious, pain in the ass, deep, confused heroes I’ve ever written. I needed to have a ton of patience with him. Coax him out a bit. Figure out his soul. He was TOUGH.

What’s the point of this long babbling whine about the book from hell?

I learned I will never reach a point where I’m writing great books right out of the gate. Or even after two times. This one took 4 rewrites and is almost as bad as the first book from hell, Searching for Someday. It’s like having two bad children I love and adore but I shake my finger at.

A lot of times, writing is not fun. It takes discipline and blisters on the ass. But eventually, I got what I needed by sheer strength of will, stubbornness, and hard work.

I once attended a Q&A with Nora Roberts at an RWA conference. She was talking about her Chesapeake Bay series – one of my faves – and said her readers bothered her about writing the last book for Seth – a younger character featured in the series. I clearly remember her face twisting in a grimace as she said that book nearly killed her. She said she hated that book. She also said she hadn’t let a book beat her yet, and she fought through every last damn page till she got it the way she wanted.

Don’t be afraid to struggle with your work. Not all books are easy, or even satisfying. Be open to each one being as individual as you are.

If you enjoyed this blog and want more of my thoughts about writing, check out my upcoming book, Write Naked: A Bestseller’s Secret to Writing Romance and Navigating the Path to Success. It comes out March 2017 and is up for preorder – digital preorder will be up soon.

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Writing Conferences and Why They’re Essential to Get to the Next Level…

 

I just came back from California from the InD’scribe conference.

It was literally one of the best conferences I’ve ever attended.

Now, I have spoken many times about the power of networking, and the importance of stretching our boundaries to go and do things that scare us—in life and in writing.

Attending a writer’s conference is critical to growth, no matter what stage of your writing career. When I first started out, and I struggled to find the time to write, and felt as if I was the only one out there with fears and anxieties about this industry and what I was doing, I took a huge chance and attended the RWA Orlando conference.

It changed my life. I used my savings and instead of getting a new kitchen floor I can actually walk on, I went to the conference with my husband’s blessing. I got so much more than a floor.

I received the courage and enthusiasm to keep going and reach a higher level of productivity. I returned home and decided to commit to making my writing a career rather than a beloved hobby I wanted to eventually make money with. I was inspired by bestselling authors I admired. I met people who became beloved friends; friends I can email to this day with anything I need and I will always get a response. I learned about craft. I came home rejuvenated, and one year later, my book The Marriage Bargain went viral and everything changed.

This time, I attended InD’scribe as a veteran, humbled to be able to give one of the keynote speeches and share my own knowledge. It was a smaller type conference rather than the overwhelming RWA and RT conventions I usually attend, and I knew fewer authors.

Now, as many of you know, I’m truly a hermit. Crowds sometimes overwhelm me, especially if I don’t know anyone. That first night, the Enchanted Ball was going on, and I huddled in my room beforehand, wondering if I should stay in my room and write, because of course, I am once again on DEADLINE HELL.

But I remembered the words I was speaking to everyone—if it scares you, just do it. I decided I would just go out there and meet new people.

And I did. The moment I got there, I was befriended by an author who I’d met at a previous conference and immediately got involved in a conversation. One of my fave people in the world, Catherine Bybee, quickly dragged me inside and introduced me to everyone I didn’t know.

The rest, they say, is history.

I tore up the dance floor. I made friends for LIFE. I met authors who I always knew I’d love but never got the opportunity to meet, like Marina Adair and Debra Menard.

I learned all about archetypes and how important they are, in both life and developing new characters. I made a secret, special pinky promise at the author’s lunch with the people at my table we now call the “Moonies.” You’ll have to wait to see what unfolds but you don’t want to miss all of our next books. My “Moonies” crew is Catherine Bybee, Marina Adair, Shelly Alexander, Julie L. York, Diana Orgain, and Sofia St. Angeles.

 

I met the most amazing authors I’ve either wanted to meet or haven’t seen in way too long, including Maggie Marr, Rachel van Dyken, Suzan Tisdale, Kathryn Le Veque, Jennifer Ashley, and Marina Marinova.

Thanks to Lisa Becker for the beautiful purse I won, gifting me her book, and being my BFF LOL!

I was blown away by a tarot card reading by the talented Ariel, who I am so grateful to for taking time to share her talent.

And TJ Mackay was the star. She put the conference together with her team and it was top rate. From the amazing dragon in the ballroom, gorgeous table centerpieces, delicious author’s luncheon, amazing workshops, and throwing beautiful, fun parties – I felt coddled and adored.

This conference allowed me to take quality time with authors and readers, and in this day and age, it’s a gift.

Yes, we love our houses and offices and hate going out into the big, bad world. But it’s important we do, because when we return to our beloved sanctuaries, we are BETTER. We are more creative, have more friends, and more to give to our stories.

Thank you to everyone who made me feel special, and I know for a fact I wasn’t able to mention everyone.

Now, I’m getting my ass back to work to make this deadline!

For everyone else, go book yourself a conference to attend.

You won’t regret it.

Oh, BTW: Searching for Disaster is now available everywhere for only $2.99! It can be read as a complete standalone so no worries if you haven’t started the series. The premise? Think one hot cop, one reformed addict, a one-night stand, and two terror puppies.

 

What can go wrong, right?

Enjoy!

 

 

What To Do When You Feel Like A Big Fat Failure in Writing…and Life…

 

Failure and I are intimately acquainted.

I’m a Virgo. To people who don’t know the horoscope, it’s a difficult sign. We’re not like the fiery hot Scorpio, or the flowy Aquarius, or the Aries leader. Nope. I’m a follower. A perfectionist. A people pleaser.

And I despise failure of all types in my life.

I remember being terrified of failing in my youth. If a teacher called on me, I’d be paralyzed in my chair, shaking in fear at the idea I could answer wrong. To me, being wrong equaled death. It equaled embarrassment and humiliation. To be wrong was to FAIL.

It got worse as I aged. As a teen, I remember I had a terrible crush on a guy in my math class. I had arranged for my friend to talk to his friend to find out if maybe he kind of liked me and wanted to ask me to the school dance. It took me forever to get to that point, and I remember waiting for my friend to call and give me the final verdict. I squirmed with discomfort but felt proud of myself for trying. When she called and let me know gently that the guy didn’t like me, I was devastated. I think I went to bed for days. All I could think of is how ugly and stupid and dumb I was because he didn’t like me.

All I could think of is how I was a big fat failure.

There was no other task master harder than me. I held myself accountable for success in school, work, friendship, love, etc. It was a difficult road to follow, and eventually, I ended up having a type of a nervous breakdown until I turned to yoga and meditation and found myself chanting on top of a mountain seeking peace for my soul.

But that’s another story.

Back to failure. The only thing that never made sense was how I dealt with failing in my writing career. When I received my first writing rejection, I was stung but refused to quit. Maybe it was the challenge. Maybe it was because writing was the only true passion and joy in my life and I needed it to live. For whatever reason, I was hard on myself with the rejections but I just worked harder to succeed. Along the way, the rejections almost crippled me, but I was like a damn dog with a bone and refused to settle until my books were published.

It took me over twenty years to actually succeed where I could quit my day job and write full time to support myself. And I’m not going to lie. It felt damn good. Success was a heady pill, and I swallowed it whole and gorged unapologetically.

Eventually, as humans do, it wasn’t enough. I needed to reach the next goal and touch the next brass ring. The market changed and got saturated. Sales fumbled. Royalty checks decreased. We needed to work harder to issue more books, and work smarter for discoverability. With all the choices in the world and unlimited potential, many stumbled because when the blank page and endless possibilities is in front of us, it’s scary as hell.

My failures kept on coming. When I found myself weeping hysterically one night in bed because I hadn’t hit the NYT list and felt like a mockery of the author everyone believed I was, I realized I couldn’t do this to myself any longer.

Somehow, I needed to become friends with failure. I needed to embrace it, take it deep, and transform it into an element I could live with on a daily basis. I was so tired of fighting those dark feelings. No one else was putting such expectations and punishment on myself except…myself.

We all have hot buttons we need to work on in life. One of mine is the voice that murmurs consistently that I have FAILED. So, I began to take apart what failure means in life and to me. Sometimes to make peace, you need to dismantle it to see how it works. Here’s my list:

Failure says you tried something. Usually, it’s something that is terrifying. Which means…

Failure says you’re brave. Not fearless. Brave. Big difference.

Failure says you’ve grown. You grow more with failure than success. Success is easy. Failure is hard. You need to reach deep and figure out what went wrong and what you’re going to do about it. You need to make peace with it, get stronger, and move forward.

Failure says you’re human. You’re not supposed to get it right all the time. Failing leads to hidden opportunities you cannot see at the moment, but makes sense in the future. Not getting one job means a better one may be meant for you down the road. I’ve told my boys the most important thing they can do in this life for themselves is try as hard as they can. Whatever fallout happens, they’ll be able to live with.

Failure says you’re interesting. I like to write about characters who have failed in many aspects of their life because they jump off the page. Who’d want to read about a hero or heroine who had an easy life, made all the right decisions, and is pretty much satisfied with their lot in life every day?

Umm, not me. I’ll pass.

Failure says you’re learning. Figuring out what works and what doesn’t. Figuring out if it’s something you can live with or not.

Failure lurks around every hidden corner. Bad reviews, not making a list, rejections, not making enough money, not getting the job, being wrong in school, getting your heart broken, being told no, not getting picked for a team or promotion, the list is endless.

When I feel helpless under the crippling defeat of failure, I remember all these things. I remember how important failure is in life. It’s part of the yin/yang of the universe – pain/pleasure, light/dark, and joy/sadness. You simply cannot have one without the other.

After a failure there is finally space to breathe. To re-set. To take account of what your life is, where you are, where you want to be. To accept who you are.

And to treasure the successes with more fragility and gratitude.

I look at my beloved sons and see a future before them I hope is filled with all types of failures, because within each distinct failure is the seed of all things raw and hard and painfully, exotically beautiful.

Do you have a hard time with failure? How do you deal with it? Come share with me.

How Fear Can Make You A Better Writer…

 

I have two paralyzing fears in my life.

The first is spiders.

The second is public speaking.

Even when I was young, I was terrified of spiders, no matter how small. I’d have nightmares about one crawling in my bed at night, and always made sure my sheets or blankets never touched the floor. I’d scream for my mother to come and kill them.

The movie Charlotte’s Web didn’t even help.

My second crippling fear became known to me during high school, when I was suddenly thrust into oral speeches. We’d do a report and have to stand in front of the class to present it. These projects turned me into a nervous wreck. I’d worry for weeks, not sleeping, imagining myself flubbing words in front of the class while everyone laughed at me. The day of the presentation, I’d vomit uncontrollably all morning, sick to my stomach and dizzy with fear.

When I was ready to pick a college, I settled on two choices. One of my choices required a public speaking course.

I chose the other college based on that one fact.

In college, I studied business management and our main presentation was based on an oral report with our team which made up a majority of our grade.

Even though I was older, the same fears crippled me. Minutes before the presentation, they had to drag me out of the bathroom where I was sick and trembling. Somehow, I managed to get through my portion, and later on, my professor told me privately I had done an amazing job.

I thought he was mocking me. I told him it wasn’t very nice to make fun of his students, and he looked at me in pure confusion, asking if I realized what a great public speaker I was.

I blew him off, still believing he was joking because he’d been known in the class to be a bit of an asshole.

Fast forward years later. My book The Marriage Bargain goes viral and all of a sudden, I’m being inundated by requests for me to begin speaking or doing workshops at conferences.

It still amazes me how a career that encourages me to be a hermit has also changed so much. Readers want to see authors. They want to hear them speak and meet them and get books signed. Visibility helps an author’s career today, where before we could happily write our books and maybe get an email or two, never needing to force ourselves to go out into the world.

But it’s not the past. It’s a new world and it’s time to deal with it. Over the years, I’d done a lot of work with myself. I’d gone to therapy, read a million self-help books, immersed myself in mediation retreats where I sat on a pillow for four hours straight and never moved, trying to reach a place of inner peace buried within. I was open to helping myself be a better, happier person. It was a struggle, but I got there.

So, when I received an invitation to present a workshop at a local RWA chapter, I agreed.

I was terrified. But I’d also learned the things that scare you the most in life must be dealt with. I believe they end up coming back to you no matter how hard you try to avoid it. The fear lays in wait like the monster under the bed, ready to jump you.

I decided I’d meet the fear head on. I wanted a thriving career as an author, and meeting readers and other authors was crucial. I needed to be with my tribe, and try to give back.

I did the workshop with a partner to help. I still got sick beforehand. I still had nightmares. I still stuttered and stumbled over words and had a mini panic attack in the middle of the presentation.

But I did it. And even better, many attendees stopped to thank me and tell me I HELPED.

That was key for me. For so many years, I struggled alone until I met other writers who shared their experiences and advice. It made all the difference. Now, it was my turn.

I said yes to another workshop. Then another. It was still awful, but I got better. I knew my subject, was passionate about writing, and of course, the attendees were sweet and supportive.

Two years ago, I attended the NJ RWA conference, where I was asked to present a special workshop for the first 100 attendees. It was on my own, so I was still nervous, but then I got a call that changed everything.

The conference chair needed a replacement for their luncheon keynote speaker since the author scheduled had an emergency and couldn’t attend.

Keynote speaker? Umm, hell no! I rambled on all the excuses, but eventually, I realized she needed my help. I said yes.

And then I worried for days. I was sick to my stomach, didn’t sleep, and had a mini attack in the room. But I made that damn speech, doing my very best, and was overwhelmed by the feedback from the audience who thanked me and said I made a difference.

What is the real point of this long rambling blog post sharing my past?

I conquered one of my worst fears. Oh, I’m still terrified of public speaking. I still don’t like to do it. But each time I do, I grow. Get more comfortable in my skin. Learn. It has become a challenge in my life, to get a little braver each time I force myself to speak in front of a crowd.

What is the famous quote from Franklin D Roosevelt?

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

I’m a keynote speaker at the InD’scribe conference October 6th. I’m scared. I’m still intimidated. But I push myself, because every time I do something that scares the crap out of me, I grow and change and become better.

A writing career is not for the faint hearted. It will challenge you, rip your heart out, heal you, and cause gripping, uncontrollable, brutal fear.

 

Do it anyway.

 

You may not succeed. You may still fail. But it doesn’t matter, because you will grow, and learn, and be better.

The smartest choices I’ve made in my life revolve around fear. If something terrifies me, I realize there’s a deeper meaning there, and I need to face it. Are you struggling with making a leap, or writing a new series, or something in your life that terrifies you?

It may be a sign you need to do it.

Fear is good. It reminds us we’re alive, and that there are endless possibilities out there if we are brave enough to unearth them.

Today, do something that really scares you. Come tell me about it or share your own secret fears.

Now to do something about those damn spiders….

 

 

The Sure Fire Way to Create Extraordinary Characters…

Truth has always been stranger than fiction.

I am known for creating my books around characters. I am blessed many readers have written to me, thanking me for creating characters they can not only fall in love with, and root for, but characters they can completely relate to.

For some people, plot is king. For others, description or gorgeous literary language make them sigh in pleasure.

For me, characters make or break a book.

Recently I made a trip to Saratoga Springs with a girlfriend of mine. I’m obsessed with the Saratoga Race track (check out one of my scenes in my book Searching for Beautiful!) so we decided to spend a girls weekend away without the kids and do some shopping, drinking and eating after the track.

The perfect trifecta.

Our hotel hosted an evening cocktail hour, so we were chatting up a very nice man at the bar who told us he rents a house in Saratoga for the month with his buddies. He was a retired fireman, with a fabulous Italian accent, great sense of humor, and tons of warmth. When we asked him for a suggestion to eat, he told us to go to this one restaurant that was top notch, but almost impossible to get into. He happened to know the hostess and wait staff though, so after some dialogue, he grabbed his phone and called the restaurant, snagging us reservations for that night. His friends then came to the bar, where hugs were dispersed, and we left feeling light hearted and as if we had made new friends.

Dinner was superb. Rooftop bar, gourmet food, and specialized cocktails. After dinner, we headed to a pub where we ended up ordering rounds of IPAs and playing some rowdy games of BINGO. We struck up a conversation with a man sitting next to us, and at one point, we both were waiting for I30 to be called to score Bingo. He politely told me he’d give me the win.

I told him I’d won already, and insisted he take the round.

The dealer called out I30. The man insisted on buying us drinks to thank us. We began chatting, and told him about our experience at dinner that night and the stranger who got us reservations.

The man froze. “Is his name Danny?” the man asked.

We froze. “Umm, yeah. Do you know him?” I asked.

The man answered, “Hell, yeah! He’s one of my best friends and I’m renting a house with him!”

Afterward, he called up Danny to tell him we loved the restaurant. He also told Danny we’d given him a BINGO and it made his night.

Small world.

Even better? These are the details that make up good characters. The stranger who becomes a friend at a local bar. The people next to you betting at the track. The waitress at dinner. The bartender at the hotel. The cab driver taking you to the airport.

Stop and look around. It’s time to really be in this life we lead, and involve ourselves in richer experiences with the people around us. This is what brings us to write vivid, detailed, emotional stories. You cannot get this type of experience from a computer, or Facebook, or email.

You need to get out in the world and begin engaging.

That weekend fueled my creative fire. Besides enjoying quality time with my girlfriend, I met new people and got out of my comfort zone. I’m really happiest as a hermit, but find whenever I stretch my boundaries and become open to the world, amazing things happen.

I meet amazing people. And they all help me write a better story because I can relate to the every day character.

Talk to one stranger today and be open to the experience.

Then get back to writing.

 

 

A Huge Giveaway to Celebrate My Birthday!

Happy Saturday peeps!

I have two giveaways going on to celebrate my birthday so I hope you click on over to these links and enter both!

The first one takes place on my Author Facebook Page – give me a LIKE and enter to win a SIGNED book of your choice!

https://www.facebook.com/jenniferprob...

Second, would you like to win a SIGNED set of the entire Searching for series with an amazing SWAG pack of jewelry and goodies?

How about more?

You’ll also get a special BONUS scene of some of your all time fave characters from the Searching for series delivered straight to your inbox!

Yeah. Thought you’d like that.

All you have to do is pre-order Searching for Disaster and enter! Only 2.99 and available at all digital outlets – here’s the link!

https://a.pgtb.me/lrnwD1