Pam Spaulding's Blog, page 98

TAVA's Position Statement on the President's SOTU address

The following is the Transgender American Veterans Association's (TAVA's) Position Statement on the President's State of the Union (SOTU) Address. It was forwarded to Pam's House Blend by Monica Helms, the TAVA Executive Director.

On January 25, 2011, millions of Americans watched President Obama's second State of the Union speech. He left out one important group of Americans when he said:

Our troops come from every corner of this country - they're black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American. They are Christian and Hindu, Jewish and Muslim. And, yes, we know that some of them are gay. Starting this year, no American will be forbidden from serving the country they love because of who they love. And with that change, I call on all our college campuses to open their doors to our military recruiters and ROTC. It is time to leave behind the divisive battles of the past. It is time to move forward as one nation.

Should the President be serious about opening the doors to potential troopmembers from every corner of this country, then allowing transgender people to serve openly would be a required step..

Allowing military recruiters and ROTC programs back on university and college campuses would not further equality under the law. This is because that along with sexual orientation, most universities and colleges have non-discrimination policies that include gender Identity and/or gender expression. Allowing ROTC programs back on university and college campuses before allowing transgender people to serve openly in the military services would violate the intent of antidiscrimination policies these universities and colleges currently have in place to protect transgender people from discrimination.

At this time, students at Harvard and Stanford are working on insuring their campuses will still bar recruiters and ROTC programs until ALL Americans have the right to serve openly. TAVA supports the efforts of these two universities -- and the efforts of any other institute of higher learning that follows these two schools' examples.

The antidiscrimination message we want the president to hear is that all discrimination needs to be eliminated. Having colleges and universities continue their current policies that disallow recruiters and ROTC units on their campuses sends that message, especially regarding transgender people and military service.

Lambda Legal Defends Transgender Woman Fired by Georgia General Assembly

Just in (via email press release):

Late yesterday, Lambda Legal filed papers in the United States Court of Appeals for the Eleventh Circuit defending a lower court ruling that the Georgia General Assembly discriminated against Lambda Legal client Vandy Beth Glenn, a transgender woman who was fired from her job as Legislative Editor after she told her supervisor that she planned to transition from male to female.

"We're looking forward to making our case at the Eleventh Circuit. It is clear Vandy Beth Glenn was fired because her boss didn't like her as she is. That is unfair and illegal", said Greg Nevins, Supervising Senior Staff Attorney in Lambda Legal's Southern Regional Office in Atlanta. "The law is on our side here, but transgender employees are still vulnerable to sex discrimination from their employers who don't understand it. A clear statement from Congress - made by passing the Employment Nondiscrimination Act (ENDA) would protect LGBT employees and provide helpful, clear guidance to employers. Because nobody wants the right to sue as much as they want to be free of work-place discrimination in the first place."

More below the fold.

Glenn worked for two years in the General Assembly's Office of Legislative Counsel as an editor and proofreader of bill language. She loved her job, but living as a male was increasingly painful and distressing for Glenn who has a longstanding female gender identity. Glenn's health care providers diagnosed her with Gender Identity Disorder (GID) and agreed that gender transition was necessary for her health and well-being. In 2007, Glenn informed her immediate supervisor, Beth Yinger, that she planned to proceed with her transition from male to female, and showed Yinger photographs of herself in professional female attire. Yinger passed the information on to her boss, the General Assembly's Legislative Counsel, Sewell Brumby. After confirming that Glenn intended to transition, Brumby fired Vandy Beth because he thought her transition "...was inappropriate, that it would be disruptive, that some people would view it as a moral issue, and that it would make Glenn's coworkers uncomfortable."

Lambda Legal's lawsuit, filed in July 2008, claimed that Glenn's termination violated the Constitution's Equal Protection guarantee because it treated her differently due to her nonconformity with sex stereotypes and her medical condition. In July 2010, the District Court ruled that Georgia General Assembly officials violated the Constitution and discriminated against Glenn by terminating her for failing to conform to sex stereotypes. Using a lower standard of review, the Court rejected the second Equal Protection claim that Glenn was discriminated against on the basis of her medical condition. The state appealed the case to the Eleventh Circuit.  In the brief filed yesterday, Lambda Legal argues that the Eleventh Circuit Court should affirm the District Court's ruling that Brumby discriminated against Glenn based on her sex because Brumby testified that he fired Glenn specifically because he viewed her intended feminine presentation as unacceptable.

"I am resolved to see this case to the end. No one should be fired for no good reason like I was," said Lambda Legal client Vandy Beth Glenn.

CNN reports that Charlotte will host the 2012 Democratic National Convention

CNN:

Democrats have chosen Charlotte, North Carolina, as the host city for the 2012 Democratic National Convention, a source with knowledge of the decision told CNN. The official announcement will be made Tuesday.

Well this is a state that barely went Blue for Obama, so it makes sense to highlight North Carolina, though Charlotte is not exactly a progressive city in comparison to the Durham-Raleigh-Chapel Hill Triangle area; it is, however, a center of banking and business and the convention will be a big boost for the local economy.

From the DNC eblast (sent as a message from Michelle Obama):

I am thrilled to make sure you are the first to hear some very exciting news. Charlotte, North Carolina will host the 46th Democratic National Convention in 2012.

Charlotte is a city marked by its southern charm, warm hospitality, and an "up by the bootstraps" mentality that has propelled the city forward as one of the fastest-growing in the South. Vibrant, diverse, and full of opportunity, the Queen City is home to innovative, hardworking folks with big hearts and open minds. And of course, great barbecue.

Barack and I spent a lot of time in North Carolina during the campaign -- from the Atlantic Coast to the Research Triangle to the Smoky Mountains and everywhere in between. Barack enjoyed Asheville so much when he spent several days preparing for the second Presidential debate that our family vacationed there in 2009.

And my very first trip outside of Washington as First Lady was to Fort Bragg, where I started my effort to do all we can to help our heroic military families.

All the contending cities were places that Barack and I have grown to know and love, so it was a hard choice. But we are thrilled to be bringing the convention to Charlotte.

We hope many of you can join us in Charlotte the week of September 3rd, 2012. But if you can't, we intend to bring the spirit of the convention -- as well as actual, related events to your community and even your own backyard.

More than anything else, we want this to be a grassroots convention for the people. We will finance this convention differently than it's been done in the past, and we will make sure everyone feels closely tied in to what is happening in Charlotte. This will be a different convention, for a different time.

To help us make sure this is a grassroots convention -- The People's Convention -- we need to hear from you. We want to know what you'd like to see at next year's convention, how and where you plan on watching it -- and the very best way we can engage your friends and neighbors.

Friend, please share your input with us right now -- how can we make The People's Convention belong to you and your community?

I can't believe it has been more than two years since my brother Craig introduced me at the 2008 Convention in Denver. It truly feels like it was yesterday.

As I looked out at a sea of thousands of supporters that night, I spoke about my husband -- the man whom this country would go on to elect as the 44th President of the United States. I spoke about his fundamental belief -- a conviction at the very core of his life's work -- that each of us has something to contribute to the spirit of our nation.

That's also the belief at the core of The People's Convention. That the table we sit at together ought to be big enough for everyone. That the thread that binds us -- a belief in the promise of this country -- is strong enough to sustain us through good times and bad.

Barack talked at the State of the Union of his vision for how America can win the future. That must be the focus now, and I know so many of you will help talk about our plans with your neighbors -- that through innovation, education, reform, and responsibility we can make sure America realizes this vision.

But, conventions take time to plan, so please help us make sure that your thoughts and your ideas will ring all the way to Charlotte. Get started now:

http://my.barackobama.com/PeoplesConvention

Looking forward to sharing this together,

Michelle

My initial reaction is "YAY, I won't have to travel as far if PHB is selected to cover the DNC." Of course it's still a 3.5 hour drive from Durham, and I'd probably still fly (20 min flight), since I can't handle long drives any more because of my fibromyalgia. Anyone want to chauffeur me around or provide lodging ...?

Seriously this could be an opportunity for people to see the mid-Atlantic South -- NC is definitely not the deep South, but it has a long way to go in supporting LGBT equality. And it has the infamous Mecklenburg County Commissioner Bill James. I'm sure he'll try to find a camera to spew his ignorance.

Last week there was a dustup over a white supremacist conference that had booked its gathering in Charlotte. The Sheraton Charlotte Airport Hotel canceled its reservation, citing threats of protests. Jared Taylor, the head of New Century Foundation, which is hosting the con, declared foul, citing the blocking of free speech by the hotel.

A white nationalist leader said Monday he hasn't given up on holding a weekend conference in Charlotte despite what he called "contemptible" efforts to dissuade local hotels from hosting it.

Taylor is editor of American Renaissance, a Virginia-based magazine of "racial-realist thought." The magazine, published by the nonprofit New Century Foundation, had scheduled a weekend conference expected to draw more than 100 people to Charlotte.

The Sheraton canceled last Tuesday.

More than a dozen uniformed and plainclothed officers looked on as Taylor told reporters outside the government center that the hotel was told the group was controversial. Hotel officials disputed that.

"Upon learning of the extremely controversial views of the New Century Foundation, the Sheraton Charlotte Airport Hotel elected to cancel this organization's booking," the hotel said in a statement. "No outside entities played a role in this decision. This event was originally confirmed only because those involved in the booking were unaware of the unique dynamics associated with this group."

Taylor went on to heap blame for his dilemma because two black city council members lobbied to hotel to cancel. The Southern Poverty Law Center pointed out that the Renaissance conferences attract "racist 'intellectuals'... Klansmen, neo-Nazis and other white supremacists." That wouldn't have exactly made Charlotte look good.

The South is always a mixed bag, with contradictions in abundance. This is also a chance for North Carolina's LGBT community to play a visible role, kicking the closet door open.

Also, here's Matt Comer of Charlotte-based QNotes:

Charlotte had competed with three other finalists: Cleveland, Ohio; Minneapolis, Minn.; and St. Louis, Mo. The convention will be held in September 2012 and will bring an estimated 35,000 delegates, media professionals and others to the Queen City.

Ian Palmquist, executive director of Equality North Carolina, said Charlotte's choice as host to the convention gives the state, including Charlotte's and state's LGBT community, a unique and rare spot at center stage.

"North Carolina is truly a purple state," he told qnotes. "Having the national spotlight, I think, is an opportunity to highlight how far we've come and how far we have to go as a community."

Gov. Perdue's Statement on the 2012 Democratic National Convention Coming to Charlotte

"Today's decision is fantastic news for North Carolina regardless of your political party. A national political convention is a keystone event that will boost North Carolina's economy, while showcasing Charlotte and our state to the nation and the world. What they will see when they get here is what hundreds of businesses already know - Charlotte's smart investments in infrastructure, cultural attractions and amenities have produced a climate perfect for work and play."

Here comes possible new victim of the 'radical homosexual agenda'

crossposted on Holy Bullies and Headless Monsters

I want to get this piece out before those on the right have a chance to use this man as their new "cause celebre" against the so-called radical gay agenda:

An eastern Pennsylvania university police officer is asking a federal appeals court to rule that he had a right to refuse an order to disperse anti-abortion and anti-gay demonstrators on campus almost four years ago.

Cpl. Steve Armbruster said he was given what he considered an unconstitutional order to eject 15 members of the evangelical group Repent America from the Kutztown University campus in April 2007. He was relieved of his duties and later suspended for five days without pay.

A federal judge last year rejected his lawsuit, and The Philadelphia Inquirer said the 3rd U.S. Court of Appeals in Philadelphia heard his appeal last week.

Students and university officials said the group showed up unexpectedly to preach against homosexuality and was confronted by hundreds of students. A judge later dismissed disorderly conduct charges against members but criticized them for demonstrating on the campus without the university's permission.

Armbruster contended that the order by the university president and the campus police chief would violate the group's civil rights and subject him to liability.

U.S. District Judge C. Darnell Jones II Jones ruled last year that Armbruster was serving in his official capacity, so his rights were not violated. He also rejected Armbruster's position that he had a right to refuse to violate the constitutional rights of others.

You get that? A group - Repent America - showed up unannounced on a college campus and began to protest. Since they had no permission to do so, university police were called in to disperse them. However, a member of the said police refused to do his job for his own reasons. He was suspended without pay but is trying to sue.

Seems to me that if you don't do the job you were assigned without a good reason - and his reason in regards to the First Amendment was not adequate - you should deal with the consequences.

 

No doubt if  they retell this story for their own purposes, religious right groups will probably mock up the details so to create more sympathy for Armbuster. They did so in past cases of former religious right cause celebres who either got fired or into trouble because they didn't adhere to very fair rules regarding conduct and then chose to make the controversy into a religion vs. homosexuality issue. Cause celebres such as:

Peter Vadala,

Crystal Dixon,

Patricia Mauceri,

Jennifer Keeton and Julea Ward ,

and the group in the center of the controversy, Repent America - who is known for making unannounced nuisances of themselves and then whining about how their rights are being violated.

I can just see the spin now (God help us).

Hat tip to LezGetReal

Beyond Bullying: Suicide of a Friend

Some of you are probably wondering why I ended my life, some of you are probably angry at me, and some of you probably don’t care. I think it’s pretentious to write a suicide note, but it seems to be the thing to do.

— Ryan,  September 2005

I first met Ryan in 2001. We went on a few dates and then settled into a friendship. As fellow geeks, we had many common interests. We’d hang out, showing off our newest gadgets (remember the Nokia N-Gage?), debating the religious arguments like vi vs. Emacs, and tabs vs. spaces and watching Star Trek over Ezell’s Fried Chicken. We saw each other every so often, and we always had fun together. Ryan was sweet, smart, handsome, well read. Professionally, he was successful, having worked at prominent technology companies.  He owned his own condo, had a very Seattle eco-friendly car. He was well liked by a lot of people.

I still had his text messages in my phone. I thought back to the last time we’d talked, less than two weeks prior. He had let me know that he would not be attending the upcoming Human Rights Campaign dinner. He gave an explanation about suddenly not feeling political and offered the usual debate about these kinds of events. I’d gotten annoyed with him and we’d argued. I felt sad then—and still do—that our last conversation was an argument. Since then, I’ve made it a priority to rebuild my relationships with those I’ve fought with. Life is short.

I called his cell. Part of me hoped he’d answer, that this was some sort of prank. Really, deep down, I knew it wasn’t. I figured it would go to voicemail and I wanted to hear his voice. I did. He sounded happy.

I drove home in silence. I went online to see what he had left.

In the last month and a half, I’ve woken up every morning and cried. I cry partly because I wake up at all and partly because I am in so much emotional pain.

When I’ve thought of suicide in the past it has been more of a passing thought — just an option. Two months ago I began to think about it again but more seriously. I spent a month searching for a reason to stay alive, watching people, traveling, thinking, trying to distract myself. I couldn’t find a good reason and began to feel like more of an outsider as I watched happy people going about their happy lives. I spent the next month planning the details of my suicide while trying to appear as normal as possible. I simply began to disengage from life. — Ryan

As time passed, we learned more. He was a clever guy. It turned out, of course, that the real reason he was canceling plans was because he knew he’d be gone. The HRC dinner was the weekend immediately after his death. That was a very weird night. Just in case you are wondering: No, I never seriously considered that our argument contributed to his death.

Ryan was a great project manager. The police were able to analyze his computer. He’d researched suicide and books on the topic, including ways to do it. He picked his chosen method and ordered the necessary supplies. He’d laid out his plans in secret and had instructions for everything he wanted to happen after he was gone.

The next few weeks were messy — services, memorials, and a lot of pain. Ryan was well liked by many in the Seattle community, and lots of people showed up. For me, and I suspect for many of us, this was the first time someone we had known intimately had committed suicide. Why would someone with so much going for them take their own life?

I have never liked myself. When I look at myself in the mirror I see only flaws. When I am out in public, I compare myself to everyone I see and never measure up. I feel completely and totally crippled by my insecurities. Why would anyone ever want to love me when I can’t even love myself? — Ryan

It’s painful to read his words. I feel sad that he could not escape those feelings of unworthiness and realize the truth about what a wonderful person he was. At the same time, I get a pit in my stomach. As I walk though what he says, and I’m sure many of you will feel the same way,  sometimes we have felt the feelings Ryan felt. Those feelings are within us that come from the wounds of past times. While we are able to overcome those wounds enough to see alternatives, there are others that ultimately made the same tragic decision as Ryan:

There is very unfortunate news today as yet another young gay man has taken his own life. Twenty-six-year-old Joseph Jefferson of Brooklyn, New York reportedly committed suicide on Saturday by hanging; friends and associates of the former gay youth activist and HIV peer educator tell Rod 2.0.

Why is it that after so many years we still suffer from these wounds and in some cases kill ourselves?

Bullying is a form of abuse. It involves repeated acts over time attempting to create or enforce one person’s (or group’s) power over another person (or group) , thus an “imbalance of power”. The “imbalance of power” may be social power and/or physical power. –Wikipedia: Bullying

 

Bullies need to maintain power over others to prevent situations that are a threat to them. However, those situations are not really a threat to them. Bulling us just a form of abuse. It’s about the same thing: power. In order to secure that power, they employ abusive tactics.

Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse – emotional, verbal and physical. It typically involves subtle methods of coercion such as psychological manipulation. – Wikipedia: Bullying

We’re all too familiar with how this plays out in the schoolyard. However, these kinds of abusive behaviors are not confined to the schoolyard and neither is the harm that they cause others.

In domestic or family relationships it can mean forced to sacrifice basic human, emotional and sometimes our physical needs to serve the bully’s need for power.   Persistent psychological manipulation tactics like invalidating verbal abuse, emotional blackmail,   scolding, or others to beat down a person into sacrificing their needs.

In professional or academic situations it can mean using these tactics to take tasks or opportunities away from us because we are seen as a competitive threat rather than a potential collaborator. It can also mean being harassed for pointing out a mistake on the bully’s behalf.

A key distinction here is that the bully’s primary concern is power for themselves rather than the well-being of all involved. Why is it that they are in pursuit of this power imbalance?

Bullying types of behavior are often rooted in a would-be bully’s inability to empathize with those whom he or she would target. –Wikipedia: Bullying

It is their own inner issues that cause them to need this power, and they are so focused on maintaining that power imbalance that they are blinded to the harm they are causing. To do so, that would require empathizing with something that they perceive as an attack on themselves. To them, their actions are in self-defense.

This post is the first in a series exploring the following questions:

Why does someone become a bully? What are the wounds we suffer as a result of being bullied? How do those wounds affect our behavior later in life? How do we stand up against this abusive behavior?

More than a million LGBT teens are suffering debilitating depression because their families and religious institutions see them as deviants. Suicide rates amongst LGBT youth are four times higher than those of heterosexual youth.

LGBT people are victims of discrimination and bigotry, which are often justified and promoted by religious teaching that says homosexuality is immoral, sinful or abominable. – Faith in America

The best way to help combat these shame inducing messages that can debilitate our community is to educate people. The best resource I know of is Faith In America. If you want to join in the fight to end this, please make a donation. The mechanism of bullying is the gun and dismissive messages of unworthiness are the ammunition. When these are present and driven by a bully, we the target are forced to submit to a power imbalance and accept that we are unworthy. 

Being exposed to the combination of the ammunition of invalidating or dismissive messages, the gun that is the mechanism of abuse, and the bullies who pull the trigger is what drives us down the path of unworthiness. If we are driven far enough, we end up in a box.

All the parts of the combination need to be addressed.  What I’m focused on is the mechanism, the gun and why people pull the trigger.

These experiences can result in a chronic sense of unworthiness. We become timid and afraid to assert who we are and protect ourselves, our basic needs, our self-esteem, and our physical and emotional well-being. We honor their needs at the expense of our own. We aren’t worthy enough to deserve it. We abuse ourselves. Sometimes we abuse ourselves to death.

I was an RA in a freshman dorm. Prior to coming out, I was viewed as positive example for the fraternity, — an asset for someone with access to freshmen. After this, to some I was an embarrassment. Luckily, as an RA, as well as a volunteer firefighter, I was on friendly terms with people high in the university administration and local police. So when I got threatening messages, I had lots of support. At the fire department, the response was mixed. In private, there were gossip and the ridiculous concern about whether or not people could trust me backing them up on a hose-line in a fire. I will say that that to his credit, the chief a man I had never seen exhibit much affinity toward me, pushed back on homophobic discrimination. I stuck with my fraternity, and over time had a positive impact on—and got props from—the brothers I least expected. Over time I disengaged from the fire department. I miss being a firefighter.

My parents always taught my sister and I that we should never be ashamed of being Jewish. No matter what, if you got asked if you were Jewish, regardless of the consequences you say yes. Always. You don’t hide your identity.

However, when I chose to be open about my identity as being gay, my parents were not pleased. I was forbidden from telling the extended family. I was put in a position where I could not be open about who I was. I wouldn’t go for that. I didn’t want to have to lie when my grandmother asked “Do you have a girlfriend?” So when a tech job opportunity that involved a move to the west coast came along, I jumped at it.

I’m sure many reading this post have had similar experiences. They leave wounds. And those wounds stick around for a long time. Even decades later, when I would drive to my parents’ house, I would pass that girl’s house, the grade-schooler in me blurts out, Bitch! I am not ugly! Then I laugh to myself at how long that message stayed with me.

When I was 15 I was walking home one evening. I was just minding my own business, wasn’t provocatively dressed or doing anything other than just…walking. And then the car pulled up and before I knew what was happening the passenger door was open and two of them were on the pavement, egged on by the others, all of them hurling insults about how this wasn’t a “faggot neighborhood” and who did I think I was showing my “faggot ass” in public and I should just be killed — everyone would be better off.

Some porch lights flicked on; someone opened a screen door. The boys retreated in a shift of gears and a squeal of tires, but the damage had been done. They hadn’t beaten me up, but they’d pummeled me psychologically. Because all I could think was, “How? How did they know?” Which immediately downshifted into, “We have to work harder. We’re not hiding this well enough. They can SEE through us. They KNOW.”

I was so deeply ashamed of the truth I was just beginning to grapple — I was gay — that their terrorizing me only fed into justifying the self-loathing that growing up in an intolerant working-class family had already ingrained in me. It’s all your fault, I thought. If you were just more masculine, beefier, had a deeper voice, WALKED differently–they wouldn’t be able to see you.

Ten minutes later I walked into my house. “Everything go ok at the store?” my mother asked. “You were gone a while.”

“Fine,” I said.

To me, removing these invalidating messages is why the Repeal of DADT and attaining Marriage Equality are so important. LGBT people should be able to be open about their identity and treated as equals. It is these invalidating messages of inequality which we deserve to have eradicated.

I woke up in a motel room in Moscow Idaho about two months ago with the realization that my life had strayed very far from how I always imagined it would be and that I didn’t know how to correct it. I’m not exactly sure how I came to this point but I’m sure that it happened very slowly over a long period of time such that I didn’t notice the changes. — Ryan

This gap generates an inner conflict which, if unresolved, can lead us to much grief. This is similar to the unresolved inner conflict that exists in those who abuse us with religion based bigotry. To understand that conflict and why they behave how they do, we can explore how our own inner conflict can lead us not only to abuse ourselves but also to adopt the same abusive behaviors and bully others.

In my next post in the series, I’ll deconstruct:

How our own inner conflict leads us to abuse others How our own inner conflict leads us to abuse ourselves

For now, I’ll leave you with this quote:

Levy uses a simple technique. He asks his fellow Israelis: how would we feel, if this was done to us by a vastly superior military power? Once, in Jenin, his car was stuck behind an ambulance at a checkpoint for an hour. He saw there was a sick woman in the back and asked the driver what was going on, and he was told the ambulances were always made to wait this long. Furious, he asked the Israeli soldiers how they would feel if it was their mother in the ambulance – and they looked bemused at first, then angry, pointing their guns at him and telling him to shut up.

— The Independent: Is Gideon Levy the most hated man in Israel or just the most heroic?

Not wanting to hurt my family and friends has kept me alive for a long time, but my pain has become unbearable. Please know that I have finally found the peace that I’ve been searching for for 17 years. — Ryan

No one should have to end up in the situation Ryan ended up in. As a community perhaps we need to embrace the good messages of faith and spend more effort helping others. If you see someone being abused, don’t stand by and do nothing. Standing by is validating their behavior and teaching them that they can continue to do it. They are likely to continue to hurt other people. Take action; Get help for the victim. Bring the situation to the attention of someone in authority or a leader in your community. I don’t want to read another letter like Ryan’s.

Help combat the fuel that bullies use to make us feel like shit. Get involved with or donate to Faith in America.

If you yourself are in crisis and consider suicide a way out, get in touch with people who can help you find an alternative. Things can get better. Really.

IF YOU ARE IN CRISIS You are not alone!

If you live in Washington state, here is a list of places by city and county where you can find help dealing with emotional crisis, get emergency food and shelter, etc. The Trevor Project‘s Trevor Lifeline is a national 24-hour free and confidential toll-free suicide prevention hotline specifically aimed at gay or questioning youth, geared toward helping those in crisis or anyone wanting information on how to help someone in crisis. All calls are handled by trained counselors who are familiar with gay and questioning youth. Phone: 1-866-4-U-TREVOR (1-866-488-7386). A huge list of other toll-free local, national and international hotlines can be found here at the Safe Schools Coalition website.

Thanks to Lurleen on Pam’s House Blend

Cross Posted at Off Message Blog

PS: If you leave comments, please be polite and respectful.  I’ll be moderating them to ensure this.

The trans-mockery of SNL's Estro-maxx skit - reactions from LGBT groups

You know what the sad thing about this is? It's so predictable that the writers at Saturday Night Live probably never gave it a second thought whether this might be offensive. The level of insensitivity is astounding; Transmockery is apparently still A-OK as entertainment.

GLAAD's press release is out:

This Saturday, on an airing of Saturday Night Live, NBC (a subsidiary of Comcast) broadcast a dangerous and blatantly transphobic segment which they called 'Estro-Maxxx' - the punchline of which was the lives of countless transgender people across the country.

The piece was a mock commercial for estrogen replacement therapy and featured men with facial hair wearing dresses, meant to represent transgender women. This segment cannot be defended as "just a joke" because there was no "joke" to speak of. The attempted comedy of the skit hinges solely on degrading the lives and experiences of transgender women. Holding people up for ridicule simply on the basis of their identity fuels a dangerous and hurtful climate and puts people in danger, especially given how infrequently the media shines a fair and accurate light on the lives of transgender people.

The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation calls upon Comcast and NBC to apologize and remove the segment from Hulu and all future airings of the show.

The reaction from the Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund:

Transgender Rights Group Demands that NBC/Comcast Apologize for Transphobic Saturday Night Live Skit

On Saturday, January 29, NBC's Saturday Night Lived aired a cruel and transphobic skit. It revolved around "Estro-Maxx" and it amounted to nothing more than an attack on transgender people.

The piece purported to represent transgender women during gender transition on "Estro-Maxx" hormone therapy, and mocked them with representations of men with facial hair wearing dresses. It was an attack on transgender women, plain and simple.

"Degrading, dehumanizing and ridiculing transgender people isn't comedy," said Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund (TLDEF) executive director Michael Silverman. "Saturday Night Live's skit contributes to the toxic brew of intolerance that leads to real-life discrimination, harassment and violence for transgender people."

TLDEF demands that NBC and its owner Comcast apologize and take steps to ensure that similar segments do not air again in the future.

The response from HRC:

HRC Condemns SNL's Anti-Transgender Segment, Calls on NBC to Remove Skit from NBC Platforms

The Human Rights Campaign, the nation's largest civil rights organization dedicated to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality, is calling on NBC to apologize after an anti-transgender skit aired on Saturday Night Live. The skit, titled 'Estro-Maxxx,' blatantly mocked transgender people, minimizing the challenges they face. SNL's degrading sense of humor also supports many of the false stereotypes that could be used as fuel for anti-transgender sentiment, including discrimination and potentially even violence. Illustrating SNL's pattern of relying on anti-transgender humor, the skit comes just weeks after the show used the term "son-daughter" to refer to Cher's transgender son Chaz Bono. HRC calls on NBC to remove the skit from NBC.com, all future broadcasts of the show, and all other NBC platforms such as Hulu.com.

"People across the country tune into SNL for laughs every Saturday night. The problem with this skit is that it is in extremely poor taste, and mocks the difficulties associated with transitioning," said HRC President Joe Solmonese. "It fuels misperceptions that will be used by some to continue patterns of discrimination. Anti-transgender skits have no place on television. NBC should publicly apologize and never let this happen again."

The skit degraded transgender women by featuring men with facial hair wearing women's clothing, while the audience laughed. Hate crimes against transgender people are on the rise nationwide. This is no laughing matter. Attempts to degrade and dehumanize transgender people on national television do not serve as humor.

"NBC has the power to set an example of fair-mindedness and inclusiveness for its viewers. It is unfortunate that they instead used their platform to further ignorance," added Solmonese.

Illinois: Governor signs civil union bill into law; civil union tracker launched

Via Lambda Legal, good news in Illinois. I sure this will give The Peter agita.

Today Governor Quinn will sign the Illinois Religious Freedom Protection and Civil Unions Act, which will go into effect June 1, 2011. To support families protected by the new law, Lambda Legal and Equality Illinois launched Civil Union Tracker.

"We have had a surge of calls to our Legal Help Desk since November when the law passed the legislature," said Camilla Taylor, Senior Staff Attorney at the Midwest Regional Office of Lambda Legal in Chicago. "By launching Civil Union Tracker with our partners at Equality Illinois, our goal is to provide a much needed service to same-sex and different-sex couples in civil unions, and to their children. Many will have questions about what the law means. We also know from experience in other states with civil unions that many families will encounter difficulties in getting respect for their status as legally recognized families after the law goes into effect. Our goal is to help these families navigate Illinois' new legal landscape with as few challenges as possible."

Illinois' new law provides that couples in civil unions will receive the responsibilities, protections, and benefits available to married couples under state law, and also establishes that out-of-state marriages of same-sex couples will be treated as civil unions automatically. Lambda Legal has already responded to a flood of questions about civil unions by providing a civil union FAQ. Couples can register online through Civil Union Tracker to get their questions answered, share stories, and gain direct access to information related to their new rights and responsibilities. Civil Union Tracker can be found at www.lambdalegal.org/illinoistracker.

In addition to same-sex couples seeking to protect their families, civil unions provide protections for different-sex couples, including widowed senior citizens who want state-level recognition for a new relationship. Civil Union Tracker is available to any Illinois couple that chooses to enter into a civil union, or whose relationship will be treated as a civil union under the new law.

GoProud hates the 'gay left,' but loves homophobes

crossposted on Holy Bullies and Headless Monsters

From Goodasyou comes this little morsel from Chris Barron of GoProud, the bootlicking gay conservative group:

Really Chris? The "gay left" is angry, hateful, and dumb as shit

Bear in mind that Barron is the SAME man who leads the SAME organization (GoProud) which welcomed into its fold, with open arms, Andrew Breitbart.

 Andrew Breitbart is the same guy who:

pushed inaccurate anti-gay smears against Obama appointee - Kevin Jennings,

claimed that the lgbt community set up flawed beauty queen Carrie Prejean,

promotes sites featuring vindictive smears against lgbt public figures such as Barney Frank.

And Breitbart isn't just a simple member of GoProud. They made him a member of the board.

Well its obvious that Breitbart brings the angry and hateful to GoProud. But in regards to the "dumb as shit," I think the organization handles that label pretty well on its own.

How else can you aptly describe an group of gays and lesbians welcoming into its fold a man so anti-gay that he would make Anita Bryant pause?

Chick-Fil-A president issues poor damage-control press release

Dan Cathy, the President and Chief Operating Officer of Chick-fil-A is trying to do the impossible -- reconcile and spin its alliance with anti-gay organizations and its official policy of a bible-based view that marriage is only between a man and a woman is personal -- not mandatory -- for franchisees. Anyway, take a read and see if your BS meter breaks. (PR Newswire):

Recently, there have been some misleading stories about Chick-fil-A in the media and on the Internet.  As a result, I feel strongly about the need to clarify some things.  

In recent weeks, we have been accused of being anti-gay. We have no agenda against anyone.  At the heart and soul of our company, we are a family business that serves and values all people regardless of their beliefs or opinions.  We seek to treat everyone with honor, dignity and respect, and believe in the importance of loving your neighbor as yourself.

We also believe in the need for civility in dialogue with others who may have different beliefs.  While my family and I believe in the Biblical definition of marriage, we love and respect anyone who disagrees.

Chick-fil-A has a long history of trying to encourage and strengthen marriages and families, both within our Chick-fil-A system and with our customers. My father and our Founder/CEO, Truett Cathy, is a role model for the Cathy family and all those who have joined Chick-fil-A. His personal and business values have always reflected a belief in the importance of marriage and family.  We have seen these principles honored powerfully in Dad's marriage of more than 63 years to our mother Jeannette and those of his family, including my wife Rhonda and me in our 37 years of marriage.

At Chick-fil-A, we have a heart for helping marriages because we know marriage can be difficult at times.  Through the years, we have supported our Chick-fil-A staff and franchised Operators in their marriage journey, and since the formation of our family foundation, the WinShape Foundation, we have helped others as well. Primarily through WinShape, we have supported summer camps for girls and boys, 14 foster homes, more than $26 million in college scholarships and the development and operation of the WinShape Marriage Retreat Center.

Some recent coverage has incorrectly reported that we require potential franchisees to discuss their church involvement.  In addition, we do not require this in our franchisee selection process nor do we require a pledge to follow Christian values for the college scholarships we provide.

Chick-fil-A's Corporate Purpose is "To glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us, and to have a positive influence on all who come in contact with Chick-fil-A."  As a result, we will not champion any political agendas on marriage and family. This decision has been made, and we understand the importance of it.  At the same time, we will continue to offer resources to strengthen marriages and families.

To do anything different would be inconsistent with our purpose and belief in Biblical principles.

In summary, we are a dedicated family business committed to three core areas:

A 65-year history of operating the business according to Biblical principles.A 65-year history of providing genuine hospitality for all people.A 65-year history of serving families and communities without a political agenda.Our commitment to these areas has never been more important in light of recent events.  Speaking of commitment, I want to thank our restaurant Operators and their more than 60,000 team members for their commitment to customer service.

We appreciate, value and have enjoyed serving all of our customers for many years.  We also appreciate this opportunity to clarify any confusion about our beliefs, and we thank everyone for supporting our restaurants and your love for the Chick-fil-A experiences.  It has and will continue to be our pleasure to serve you.

Dan T. Cathy

President and COO

Chick-fil-A, Inc.

WTF? How does this let the restaurant chain off of the hook at all? So he loves teh homos...just eat mor chicken.

Applied For My New Passport Just As The Passport Rules Changed For The Better

Last Friday (January 28, 2011), I went to the Post Office branch on Midway Avenue here in San Diego and applied for a passport and a passport card.

I'd assembled the required documentation, which included a certified copy of my birth certificate, my legal change of name document, a letter from my psychiatrist -- which was written in accordance with the Department of State instructions -- indicating I have received treatment for change of legal sex, passport photos, and my filled out Application For A U.S. Passport form. And, of course, I brought my checkbook.

I'd gone to that Post Office two weeks earlier to get my passport -- with all the same documentation -- but it turns out one must make an appointment at the Post Office to apply for a new passport. Given government bureaucracy, I can't believe I didn't anticipate that applying for a passport may require a passport. Oh well, live and learn.

It turns out that the passport photos I'd had taken at the local RiteAid® didn't make the cut. Apparently, the printed photos were too large -- I'll be going back to complain this coming week. So, I paid the extra fee (I was not going to wait another two weeks for a new appointment!) to have the Post Office take my passport photos.

And too, they took my documentation, and promised that  the documentation would be mailed back with the passport and passport card. That probably shouldn't leave me concerned at all, but it does -- the government is a huge bureaucracy, after all.

I ended up spending just over $180 at the Post Office for my Passport and Passport Card (I'm getting both, so there was a fee for each identification document). So now I have four to six weeks to wait for my new Passport and Passport Card.

And of course, the very day I turned in my application, the rules related to transsexual people applying for passports changed. The rules have mostly changed for the better -- it would've been easier for me if the rules were as they are now to apply for my passport. From the National Center for Transgender Equality's (NCTE's) email blast:

The U.S. State Department has announced some small but important additional changes to its policy for updating gender on U.S. passports and Consular Reports of Birth Abroad (CRBAs). The changes make clear that any physician who has treated or evaluated a passport applicant may certify that he or she has had appropriate treatment for gender transition. The revised policy also clarifies language and procedures to ensure that individuals with intersex condition can obtain documents with the correct gender.

In June 2010, the Obama Administration announced a new policy for updating gender markers on passports and CRBAs. For the first time, the June policy enabled transgender people to a passport that reflects their current gender without providing details of specific medical or surgical procedures. Instead, applicants could provide certification from a physician that they had received "appropriate clinical treatment" for gender transition. This policy was the result of years of advocacy, and represented a significant advance in providing safe, humane and dignified treatment of transgender people.

The policy announced in June was a huge step forward, but it was not perfect. It contained rigid and unnecessary restrictions on which physicians could write supporting letters for applicants, and contained confusing provisions regarding people with intersex conditions. With input from NCTE and other organizations, the Department moved swiftly to clarify and improve the policy.

It's pretty noteworthy that the revised passport policy now has language that insures that people with intersex conditions can obtain passports in their correct gender -- From the outside looking in, it's obvious to me that transgender identified people were advocating for intersex inclusion in how federal regulation is written.

Beyond that, the language used in State Department regulation has other potential applications. Again, from the NCTE eblast:

The passport policy as it now stands represents a model that other federal agencies, such as the Social Security Administration and U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, should move swiftly to adopt.

Sometimes, short of legislative process, progress on a community's freedom, equality, and justice can be accomplished with regulatory changes. Transgender community has an opportunity for further progress.

If you, like I have, want to apply for a passport under your correct gender, there is a new guidance document from NCTE entitled The Prep Work I'm Doing To Get A Passport Under New State Department Rules